Would You Eat a Couch for Marino’s Italian Ice? | Not Today, Pal

Summary

Podcast Title: Not Today, Pal with Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler
Episode Title: Would You Eat a Couch for Marino’s Italian Ice?
Release Date: August 14, 2025

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Morning Routines and Coffee Habits

The episode kicks off with Jamie and Rob delving into their morning routines, particularly focusing on their coffee preferences. Rob expresses his need for a vacation rather than feeling fulfilled by returning to work.

Rob (00:04): "No, I need a vacation."

Jamie contrasts her preference for warm beverages with Rob’s enthusiasm for iced coffee, highlighting their differing approaches to starting the day.

Jamie (01:12): "No, I want warm drinks."

Rob elaborates on his elaborate morning drink regimen, which includes water with Baja sea salt, celery juice, warm water with lemon, a shot of olive oil, and finally, his coffee.

Rob (01:27): "I do a tall glass of water with some Baja sea salt. Then I do a big glass of celery juice. And then I do warm water with lemon. I do a shot of olive oil. And then I drink my coffee."

Jamie appreciates Rob’s routine for helping him flush his system, to which Rob agrees, emphasizing the importance of hydration.

Food Preferences and Culinary Discussions

The conversation shifts to food, with Jamie admitting her selective taste in spicy foods. Rob shares his love for kimchi and pickled onions, despite some family members’ disdain for the strong flavors.

Jamie (02:18): "I wouldn't say I like spicy food. I like flavor, I like spices. But I don't like things like super spicy."

Rob mentions their mutual friend Cutter’s dislike for kimchi, creating a humorous dynamic around their different palates.

Rob (03:31): "Cutter will like despises it."

Jamie introduces her new obsession with sweet potatoes paired with kimchi, praising how it has enlivened her diet.

Jamie (03:37): "Because of the sweet of the sweet potato. The spicy from the kimchi... it's really giving me life these days."

"Vacation Darts" and Lingo

Rob introduces a segment about "Vacation Darts," a humorous take on vacation-themed merchandise. He credits Cutter for popularizing much of his lingo, emphasizing the influence of their close-knit friendship.

Rob (03:53): "Vacation dart is a cigarette on vacation."

Jamie acknowledges Cutter’s role in shaping their vernacular, amusing listeners with anecdotes about their shared terminology.

Jamie (04:35): "You got lingo. Vacation darts. That's lingo."

Audition Stories and Acting

The duo reminisces about audition processes, particularly for the movie "Outsiders," mentioning iconic actors like Rob Lowe, Patrick Swayze, and Tom Cruise. They discuss the intensity and competitiveness of auditions, drawing parallels to Broadway experiences.

Jamie (11:32): "You could tell these people are just trying to see the perfect fit."

Rob reflects on Jamie’s brief music career, including her single "Bada Bing," and the challenges of sustaining a music career beyond one hit.

Rob (08:37): "I don't think I wanted to either."

Listener Emails

Rob reads a humorous and somewhat cryptic email from a listener named Sean, who claims to be dating a minor celebrity and is struggling with newfound attention while maintaining his unchanged lifestyle.

Rob (19:22): "I've recently started dating a minor celebrity and started receiving a weird new type of attention..."

Jamie responds with playful skepticism and advice, reflecting their chemistry and comedic timing.

Jamie (21:06): "You need building blocks for a new life because you're dating a TikToker."

Nostalgia About Childhood Favorites

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to reminiscing about favorite ice cream treats and the nostalgic memories associated with ice cream trucks. Jamie shares her love for Mariano's Italian ice, while Rob laments the discontinuation of beloved items like the Choco Taco.

Rob (22:13): "I loved cherry Coke."

Jamie (24:25): "But what's... it seemed like there should be an expiration date on them."

They discuss the evolution of ice cream treats and the joy these simple pleasures brought during their childhood.

Sharing Personal Lives and Privacy

Rob opens up about their experience with having their homes featured in platforms like Architectural Digest and MTV Cribs. Both Jamie and Rob express a preference for privacy, contrasting with their past willingness to share personal spaces for publicity.

Rob (34:11): "We did a little video with the designer, but no, we did... just more photos."

Jamie concurs, highlighting their growth in wanting to keep personal life details private.

Jamie (35:29): "I'm not as, like, into sharing my home as I — or my personal things as I used to be."

Reflections on 'The Sopranos'

Towards the end of the episode, Jamie and Rob reflect on their time on "The Sopranos," sharing behind-the-scenes anecdotes and personal feelings about the show’s legacy. They humorously critique their past behaviors and appearances during filming.

Rob (37:16): "It wasn't good. So I'm gonna say this is 2007 and this is gonna be..."

Jamie (38:19): "Really. Wow. I would have thought it was later."

Food Segments and Closing Remarks

In a lighthearted food segment, Jamie and Rob attempt to make a "sanguich" (sandwich), playfully mocking each other’s culinary skills. This segment showcases their enduring camaraderie and ability to find humor in everyday activities.

Jamie (39:08): "How you doing?"

Rob (40:00): "That's amore. I'll tell you how you eat it. He's gonna wrap it up for you, and then when you unwrap it, it's magically edible."

As the episode draws to a close, Jamie and Rob share their final thoughts and sign off with their signature humor.

Jamie (40:20): "How you feeling? You buzzing?"

Rob (40:22): "Great. Ready to rock."

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Notable Quotes

• Rob (00:04): "No, I need a vacation."
• Jamie (02:18): "I wouldn't say I like spicy food. I like flavor, I like spices. But I don't like things like super spicy."
• Rob (03:31): "Cutter will like despises it."
• Rob (19:22): "I've recently started dating a minor celebrity and started receiving a weird new type of attention..."
• Jamie (24:25): "But what's... it seemed like there should be an expiration date on them."
• Rob (37:16): "It wasn't good. So I'm gonna say this is 2007 and this is gonna be..."
• Jamie (27:55): "My bad thoughts."

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Conclusion

In this episode of "Not Today, Pal," Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler blend their contrasting personalities to explore a range of topics from morning routines and food preferences to nostalgic memories and reflections on their acting careers. Their chemistry shines through humorous exchanges and heartfelt discussions, providing listeners with an engaging and relatable experience. Whether reminiscing about favorite childhood treats or navigating the complexities of personal privacy, Jamie and Rob showcase the enduring strength of their friendship and their ability to find common ground amidst their differences.

Transcript

[A]

Are you feeling more fulfilled now that you're back to work this Friday?

[B]

No, I need a vacation.

[A]

See the movie that critics are saying is an awesome.

[B]

Look at that crowd pleasing, fist pumping.

[A]

All out brawl of a film. You're right about that. They're coming after our family. Go fix this. Oh my. Nobody 2. Rated R. Only in theaters Friday, not today. Oh, you got that coffee in you, girl. You got that coffee in you. I know when you're buzzing.

[B]

Just a few sips. Something about iced coffee hits me harder than hot coffee. Does anyone else have.

[A]

You probably drink it faster.

[B]

Yeah, but I don't know why, like iced coffee caffeinate, like just gives me a jolt. Much more than like my warm cup of coffee in the morning. I don't think even wakes me up. By the time I have it, I'm like well into my morning. I think it's just more habit. But an iced coffee, do you ever.

[A]

Do iced coffee in the morning?

[B]

No, I want warm drinks.

[A]

Huh. So that's why I wonder if you're just tired in the morning so it's harder to get you like once you're flowing into your second cup.

[B]

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. But you know, I drink like multiple beverages in the morning before I even get to my coffee.

[A]

Oh, I don't know.

[B]

I do a tall glass of water with some Baja sea salt. Then I do a big glass of celery juice.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

And then I do warm water with lemon. I do a shot of olive oil.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And then I drink my coffee.

[A]

Are you peeing like crazy for.

[B]

I pee a couple of times in the morning. Yeah, but I like it. I like, like flushing my system out in the morning. You should know.

[A]

Oh, I'm all about it.

[B]

All you.

[A]

My whole goal in the morning is just to flush it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what? Because something like I just said I didn't know that morning routine. Something I was thinking about you earlier was like, I don't know. Because I feel like I always know everything about you. I was like, I don't know if Jamie likes spicy food.

[B]

I wouldn't say I like spicy food. I like flavor, I like spices. But I don't like things like super spicy. I don't like things very like I. If you ask me how I want it, I'll always say mild.

[A]

Okay, but will you dislike something just because it's spicy? Like even if something is great, but it's spicy, Are you like, I don't want it because it's spicy.

[B]

No, I'll Find a way to like tamper it down. Yeah. You know, with some thing con. Some condiment or something.

[A]

Cuz I've my new thing I'm obsessed with.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Sweet potatoes with kimchi.

[B]

I love kimchi. You think kimchi is spicy?

[A]

People like again, I'm the worst judge for spicy. I always tell people like no, that thing's not spicy. And they eat it and they're like, oh my God, that's so spicy. I think I killed all my taste buds from smoking. You know, from Ben Affleck and three packs a day outside of wherever I was.

[B]

Yeah, right. Well, I like kimchi, but Cutter will like despises it. Like when I open up a can and. Or what jar and put some on. Whatever I'm eating. He's not happy about it. It's a. It's a stench. Yeah, but I would. I see. I like that. Like I love pickled onions. I love like, I love all that.

[A]

It's great for you too. Probiotics. Yeah, but that's my new thing. Because of the sweet of the sweet potato. The spicy from the. This.

[B]

Ah. Yeah.

[A]

It's really giving me life these days because I'm. My diet is so boring and this is like wonderful.

[B]

The things that get you excited.

[A]

What are. So what is this hat that you were saying?

[B]

Vacation darts.

[A]

Yeah. What is vacation darts?

[B]

What is a vacation dart?

[A]

Well, vacation dart is a cigarette on vacation.

[B]

That's right, of course. Yes. But it's this brand, Odette, my bestie that was on the show for her 40th, I reached out to the guy that makes this merch, this brand and got like everyone hats and tank tops and T shirts because we all were going out on a boat as a joke that now that she was 40, you know, say goodbye to vacation darts. It's like, you know, it was like a joke amongst us. Like everyone would joke that they loved a vacation dart. And so Cutter actually found this company and so this is just shout out vacation darts. I don't know, I just love this hat. I love a good bright orange hat.

[A]

But see, this is what I was when I was asking you about lingo. That's what I'm saying. You got lingo. Vacation darts. That's lingo.

[B]

You know, I'll give Cutter most of my. Most of the credit for any lingo in my life. He's so good with.

[A]

He's an athlete too. Athletes in the locker room. Like you're always, you know, you're traveling with the boys everywhere.

[B]

He calls like our kids like, meat sometimes. What are you doing? Meet. You know, like that, Like. Yeah. I mean, I live in a home of bros, as you know, so.

[A]

Bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And now Jack is fully into the cap Bet. Like, everything.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Can I. My iPad. Yes.

[A]

Bit, Bit, Bit. Yeah. Your BO is saying that too much. One night, it was driving me fucking crazy. Bet. But with, like, any. Like, you would make a move on the game, and he was like, bet. Like, just, like, not. There was nothing even happening. I was like, you got to calm down with the bet, buddy.

[B]

You know, it's so funny. I. You're. Cutter gets annoyed, stuff like that. But I. I. I don't know if this just, like, happens as a parent, but I. I've figured out a way to, like, turn their volume down. Like, in my awareness, I see you.

[A]

All do it with each other. I watch you all turn each other's volume down.

[B]

Like, I'll just see what's wrong with my volume. I'm perfect.

[A]

When we had game night recently, you. You were getting after Cutter, and he had to turn your volume down a little. You were like, you. You wouldn't get this game very. You wouldn't understand this game very. It would take you a while.

[B]

It wouldn't.

[A]

I know, but I'm just saying it was a fact, and he's got it. But I'm still. That's what. Well, bet is a fact also, you know, he's just throwing out. You know, you're. I think you're all throwing out facts.

[B]

Well, when you live with each other for as long as we have.

[A]

That's what I'm saying, Covid.

[B]

Through everything. We both work from home, technically, for many, in many roles in our lives.

[A]

I'm sure you have to do it to me sometimes. Turn down my. I'm sure sometimes I'm annoying.

[B]

You're always. You're always on full volume right now.

[A]

No, but I watch you guys do it with each other, and then I have to. And then I also watch, like, the. The like, ignore, ignore, ignore, IGN or mad. Like, you know, like, you see it. You don't see it go from, like, hey, especially with, like, Cutter and the kids, you know when they're, like, doing something and I hear. I'm like, he just said that for the seventh time. And, like, you two are not acknowledging it. And then he says it for the eighth time. The Cutter's like, I'm gonna need you to stop saying this. You know, like, it's. You know, it's. It happens all around. It's it's great to observe.

[B]

It is. It is. Like wild animals.

[A]

Yes. I also asked you how much or I asked you about if, if somebody wanted your songs for a movie. Let's say you found out you had the rights to your songs. How much would you charge? If somebody was like, I'm making a movie, I want to put your songs in. What would you demand?

[B]

Well, tell me, what kind of movie is it? Who's making this movie? What's the studio behind it? These are all things that matter.

[A]

Let's start with you have no idea. You just get a phone call, hey, I'm making a movie. We don't even have a script yet. The first thing I want to lock down is a Jamie Lynn Sigler official. Official.

[B]

I got to know the budget for the movie. I have to support creatives and artists. So if he's talking to me about like a half a million dollar budget.

[A]

You found out it's Universal Studios. So you know they have a ton.

[B]

Take it. Take the song.

[A]

No, you're supposed to charge them more money.

[B]

Universal Studios.

[A]

What'd you think I said?

[B]

I. I didn't hear. I. I caught it. My volume's down late.

[A]

You said my volume was all the way up.

[B]

I don't know. What do people charge for songs? 50 grand.

[A]

50?

[B]

Is that too much.

[A]

For Britney Spears? Maybe not.

[B]

What do you charge for a song?

[A]

You're like, I don't even know where they exist.

[B]

Song to be in a movie.

[A]

Well, you're like, I don't even know where they exist in the world right now. And now all of a sudden you have it and you're like, 50K.

[B]

You asked me for a number, you said, universal Studios. He videos in the world.

[A]

I'm just saying it sounds a little high.

[B]

Oh, a thousand dollars to a hundred. Thousand?

[A]

Yeah. I know somebody who just recently made a movie. I think they paid 15,000 a song for like popular 90s songs. Like very popular 90s songs. 15 grand. So you're charging 50k for something that you to you is dead right now. Wow.

[B]

Listen, it's basically a brand new song that people have never heard before.

[A]

That's true. Yeah. Except for me and everyone in around here. We'd be like, oh, this is.

[B]

Listen, if somebody song and felt thought it was a bop, I feel like I could take serious advantage of them.

[A]

You only made one music video ever?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did they ever ask you to do a second?

[B]

No.

[A]

No.

[B]

I don't think I wanted to either.

[A]

So where was. Because that was before the days of YouTube.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So where would that. Was that only on MTV? Was it on MTV?

[B]

It was. It was.

[A]

Was it on Total Request Live?

[B]

Yeah, I went on trl.

[A]

You were on TRL with that song? Wow. I'm. I'm amazed. Your volume just went a little up for me. I'm. I'm amazed. I didn't know I was sitting across.

[B]

From TRL alone right after 9. 11, too. I remember. So it was like, you know, it was a very specific time in New York, and it was very obviously terrible time to come out with an album.

[A]

No, they needed what you were. What you were given. What was it called?

[B]

I write about this a lot in the book, actually. Really detail.

[A]

What was it called? Baby Bing.

[B]

Crybaby. Was Cry Crybaby. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

What was the album?

[B]

I don't even remember.

[A]

Oh, can we look that up? Jamie Lynn Sigler album. Oh, I'm sorry. You should know the name of your own album. I'm just trying to educate.

[B]

There it is. Here to Heaven. That was what?

[A]

Here to Heaven. Where does. What is that?

[B]

Who the knows?

[A]

Wow. Crybaby. Bada Bing. Bada Bing. Oh, that's gotta be. That's gotta be. Can we find that? Can we just. Then we'll stop. Can we find the song? Bada Bing by Jamie Lynn Sigler.

[B]

Please don't do this.

[A]

All right? They wrote bad. They wrote Bada bong.

[B]

We've already done this.

[A]

I don't think we listen to Bada Bing.

[B]

Okay, well, I won't.

[A]

We won't. We won't. I just. I was just throwing it out there.

[B]

Turning your volume down.

[A]

No, I want my volume up.

[B]

Can't hear you.

[A]

Jamie, please. I want my volume up.

[B]

Coffee and my vacation dart hat.

[A]

What would you. Was there anything you'd like to talk about to switch the topic?

[B]

Anything.

[A]

Right. Okay. All right. I love you. I was watching. Sometimes I go down a Rabbit Hole on YouTube of old auditions from, like, other shows, whatever. Like, obviously, people, like. Sometimes you get suggested, like, the Office, you know, like Steve Carell and all these guys. So one of the best ever. I don't know if you've ever seen it. Is E.T.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That kid.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's the best. That might be the best edition of all time. He's lights out. So I just recently saw. They did one for Outsiders, and I guess for. Can you look up the cast of Outsiders? Oh, wow. Look at you guys flying with that. Can you look up the cast? Because I want to be able to say. Yeah, so I think Francis Ford Coppola was the. Was. I don't know if he directed it or he was producing it or whatever. But. So, yeah, if you look up, you could just look up. Yeah, so if you look up the cast. Yeah, let me just. You could just leave it on here. So, so they, they basically were saying it was the first time ever that they had like, instead of just. Normally when you audition, you bring one person in, that person reads and then you go. They leave. You go to the next person instead. They did a thing that was. I don't know if it was multiple days long.

[B]

Chemistry reads.

[A]

Yeah, but they, they. Yeah, they just had everyone sitting all around and Ford Coppola would be like Ralph Macchio, Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe. And then those people would have to get up, come audition, read the part, and he would be like, okay, Rob Lowe, get out. Tom Cruise, you're in.

[B]

So this is what auditions were like for Broadway and musical theater. Oh, you would be in a room. Like, I remember when I was auditioning for a production of Sound of Music, we were. All the kids were in there and they'd be like, okay, like Lindsay, Jamie, Lauren, Michael. Okay, the SAM 7. You sit and they would look at us and like, are those the seven kids? And they'd be like, you sit, you go up. You know, and so yeah, that. It's a crazy way of auditioning, but I love it.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think that's so cool. And there's a video of it.

[A]

There's a video of it. But what's even crazier is like they start saying that like, I think this is just a video of it. There's like a thing where you can watch like a full kind of like documentary or like it's a. Maybe it's a 10 minute video that explains the process of the audition. Not just the audition.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But like when, like, because you know, obviously this is the cast. Right. Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe, Tom Cruise, Emilio Estevez, Leif Garrett, Ralph Macchio, Matt Dillon. But so you're seeing this and you're like, wow, what a cast. But imagine in the audition when it's people who you don't even, you're not even thinking and you're like, holy. That person was there. That person was there. It was.

[B]

That's so cool.

[A]

Crazy. And he's just. And this is one of, one of the best. Like this movie is so great.

[B]

Launch the careers of all of them.

[A]

Yeah. Outsiders is, is a 10 out of 10. It's so good. Yeah. You want to play a little bit of it just to Matt.

[B]

Okay. How old are you?

[A]

17. I guess I'll read Dallas. I guess. Excuse me.

[B]

Ralph.

[A]

Rough.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Kids have long hair. Why do they all cut hair. See if you can find the humor. Diane Lane. Diane Lane.

[B]

Have you ever been in love with somebody? Yeah. The most important, I thought, was the.

[A]

First time I fell in love, or.

[B]

I thought I was in love.

[A]

Nature's first green is gold, see? Anthony Michael Hall, Pony Boy.

[B]

But only so an hour.

[A]

I know you two, don't I? Y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

Y' all hang around rodeos.

[B]

Take your feet off my chair and shut your traps and begin.

[A]

Yeah, take it easy. I got plenty of money here. Now, listen up. Listen up real good, because I'm gonna want to say this once. You're gonna have 315 freight to Windricks, up the 315 freight to Windricksville. You hop the 3:15 straight to Windricksville, okay? What you got to do is hop three so good. And when you. If. If anybody wants to go watch that. The. The names that they throw out of, like, you out. You win. You. And you're like, what this? Like, but you're also like, I don't know how they could have made it better. So they all made the right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Choice. It was so good. But when I was on this rabbit hole, it reminded me of one of the things that they asked people in. Maybe it was this audition. Maybe it was another one. But they're like, what's your age range? Remember that?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Still ask me, I still have to fit into one.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. So it's like. But what I just realized is, like, you're looking at me. You're looking at my point.

[B]

If somebody's like, what do you think?

[A]

Yeah, what do you think? Like, if someone's like, what's your age range? It's like, I'm an act. But, like, actors especially, like, out of, like, people who are struggling, they're just gonna lie. So if I could play from 10 to 60, like, you're always gonna stretch it where it's like, well, you're looking at me. What do you think I can play? Right? It's one of the. I realized later, I'm like, how did they ask us that question for decades? And everyone was just like, yeah, 32 to 38. Or like, whatever, the people. It's very odd.

[B]

It is weird.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wouldn't even know what mine is.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. Like, you tell me.

[B]

Late 30s, early 40s.

[A]

Yeah. It's like, what would you not. I don't know. What would you believe?

[B]

Yeah. What do I look like that I.

[A]

But. But back in the day, like, you know, the kids on Saved by the bell were like 25, remember?

[B]

Yeah. Anyone in. Well, the kids in Greece were like, there was. Wasn't there someone in their 30s when the movie Grease was shot?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I remember thinking, I'm like, oh, my God, people are so old. And not like old, but like, I'll never look like that in high school. I'll always look like a baby, of course.

[A]

And could you imagine? Like a 40 year old is like, they're like, what's your age range? And he's like 20 to 40. And then. And then like the director's like, well, he said 20. Like, you know, it's like you just have to buy it. Like, what? Of course. Like, it's so crazy. Okay, here. Olivia Newton John was 30. Stalker Channing was 33. Jeff Conway, 27. Jamie Donley, the. Yeah, okay, yeah. Dennis Stewart. John Travolta was 23. He looked old in that movie. Olivia Newton John, 29. Yeah, that was. Yeah. What a banger.

[B]

Banger.

[A]

What does it say? Soccer. Channing was the oldest being 33. Yeah. I can't believe children from Greece. Jamie, it's been a long time since we've done an email. Should we do.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Do you want. Do you want the one from Sean or the one from Molly? I'll tell you right now, the one from Sean is shorter.

[B]

It doesn't matter. All right, all right. Hi, Jamie and Rub.

[A]

Oh, let me say. Sorry, not today, pal. Podcast. Jamie and Rub.

[B]

I'm really. Look at it.

[A]

No, I believe you. Are you kidding? Not today. Pale podcastmail.com. if you want to write us an email, we'll read your email. Our phone number is 512-387-1880.

[B]

Okay, Jamie and Rub. I've recently started dating a minor celebrity.

[A]

Is this my girlfriend?

[B]

And started receiving a weird new type of attention. On top of that, my lifestyle hasn't changed, so it feels like there are no new building blocks to rebuild a new life. I know it's not apples to apples because you guys run the biggest show in TV history. And of course AJ was a drug addict, but any and all advice you guys have is very much appreciated over here. Yours truly, Sean. I have no idea what this person is asking us.

[A]

Yeah, you need building blocks for a new life.

[B]

This is all you.

[A]

Oh, here. You know what? This advice is for your girlfriend. Get out. Get out. It's. It's. This guy's. This guy's a little.

[B]

What is he asking?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How to handle the life with a minor celebrity.

[A]

Yeah, you need building blocks to rebuild a new life because you're dating a tiktoker.

[B]

Is that what a minor celebrity is? A tick tock?

[A]

No, Right now those are the big celebrities. Yeah, I'm not even.

[B]

Bro, you tell us, what do we do?

[A]

Could you imagine this? Imagine if I was dating a girl and she wrote this into a podcast. She was like, I'm dating this minor celebrity and I just need building blocks for a new.

[B]

It's like because my life is not different. It sounds like he's frustrated that his life is not different at all now that he's dating a celebrity and he wants it to be different.

[A]

So.

[B]

So I would go after a major celebrity.

[A]

Then he spelled his name right.

[B]

Sean.

[A]

Yeah, he wrote rub. I've recently started dating a minor celebrity and started receiving a weird new type of attention. On top of that, my lifestyle hasn't changed. So it feels like there are no new building blocks to rebuild a new life. I mean, this person just sounds crazy.

[B]

It makes less sense the more you read it.

[A]

My advice to you is get help.

[B]

And maybe you guys know this person.

[A]

Maybe you shouldn't be dating someone at this time. I mean, I don't.

[B]

Is there something we don't know?

[A]

We. We don't get. We don't get phone calls and emails. So I think they just start making them up.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I feel like.

[A]

We just thought Rub was funny. Rob Eiler.

[B]

Do I read the other one?

[A]

You wanna. No, let's. We need. We need. We need other. Yeah, I need. I need the safety net over here. Back in the day, I don't know if we've ever talked about this. When you would hear the ice cream truck coming down the block, what was your go? What was your go to?

[B]

I loved cherry Coke.

[A]

This is more. This is not the ice cream man.

[B]

Yeah, this time the ice cream man had that though. And then I would get the Mariano's Italian ice.

[A]

Oh yes.

[B]

Cherry one. And I would immediate with the wooden spoon and I would immediately fill. Flip it over where it would be like the crystallized, like sugary whatever on the bottom and eat from there. So yes, the cherry ice, that was what it was called Mariano's or whatever. Marinos.

[A]

Yeah, I think. Remember that was what, yellow?

[B]

It was made of paper.

[A]

Remember that was the. Yeah, Marino.

[B]

Marino.

[A]

That was the. The first merch that I suggested for the pod. Remember it was. Not today pal. In the marina's Italian ice. Yeah, that was like two years ago now.

[B]

Yep. It was fat free.

[A]

Yeah. Wow. See, so you know what? One of the things. When I was trying to, like, kick sugar, one of the things I started. I was taking watermelon juice and freezing it, like, just a little bit in a cup, putting it in the freezer, and then when you'd flip it, the. The ice crystals were there. Oh, it gave me such a.

[B]

What would you put it in? Just a.

[A]

Like a plastic. Like a paper. A paper cup. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. There was a menu. I wasn't ever a chocolate gal. Now I would be back then. No.

[A]

Well, the king cone. Not the king cones, but the drumsticks. Is that what those are called in the top left? Those were. I mean, that's just an elite. An elite dessert. Everything that you got, the crunchy is soft and nuts.

[B]

My kids get all, like, those. The character faces with the gumball noses. That's what my kids always go for.

[A]

And they're all stained up, their faces and their shirts. See the. The top right, The Choco Taco, that was right when I stopped eating, like, ice cream from the ice cream trucks. Whatever. I never had those, man. But those look really fucking good. They discontinued the Choco Tacos. You can't get them anymore. Why? I don't know why, but they're. They're off the face of the earth. Another thing for us to look into or do we start our own? Not today, pal. Not today, pal. Choco.

[B]

Are they like Trader Joe buy them for $500?

[A]

But. But what's. Is there like, an expiration date on them? Yeah, seems like there should be.

[B]

What year are they from?

[A]

Klondike discontinued the Choco Taco due to significant increase in demand for other products within their portfolio.

[B]

Oh, it's only.

[A]

But. But it was before Klondike. It was like. There was, like, a different one, right? There was like the ghetto one that started that. We used that. That was like, in the trucks because you had. Listen, in New York City, you had, like, the kind of ghetto truck, and then you had the Mr. Softy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How could you tell the difference? The song.

[A]

This. Everything. Everything. Yeah. Like just the. The. The. The car coming up was just like a van that the guy made into.

[B]

Hear it from inside my house. And we would just like. My brothers and I would, like, race to this area where there was always, like, spare change and. And then just like, run outside.

[A]

As pop goes the weasel, Right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Choco. Ty would have loved to get. So one of our favorite restaurants in Austin, they make, like, a elevated version of that as their dessert.

[B]

Oh, Uchi.

[A]

No, Suerte.

[B]

Oh, they do?

[A]

Yeah. Suerte.

[B]

I'm surprised Trader Joe's has, like. Maybe it's not a taco, but I feel like they have something kind of similar.

[A]

Yeah, See, that's the one at Suerte.

[B]

Too many nuts.

[A]

Ah. Okay. What. Can you go back to the full menu of the. Because here's one of the things I really wanted to discuss was the toasted almond bar. You remember that?

[B]

Gross. Gross, gross.

[A]

Are you. That's the most offensive thing you've ever said on this podcast. If you look at the bottom. On the bottom, right, they have. So they have chocolate cake there. They don't have the toasted almond, but they have next to it, the strawberry shortcake. Those were fucking bomb. What? Those were so.

[B]

Tasted like. Like, like foam was around it. Like. Like it was like a couch. Ew. Have you ever. Do you ever remember that show? What was it called? Like, My Weird Obsessions or whatever? And there was a woman that would eat her couch. My strange addiction. Oh, there was a guy that was in love with his car.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That would have sex with his car.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And sweet talk his car.

[A]

This excites you?

[B]

I forgot about this show.

[A]

If you were gonna be in love with one item, what do you think it would be?

[B]

Well, cutters would be our dog bean.

[A]

Yeah, but that's like a. That's more normal than, like the one woman married a bridge.

[B]

Oh, yeah. There's a woman that would eat her couch. I think she's eaten, like, two couches in her lifetime.

[A]

I mean, now we're just filming mentally ill people like that. That's all that, like, it's awesome to film and mentally ill people doing anything, but they were like, for some reason. That's what I'm saying. For some reason. It's stuck in your. It's stuck in your brain. You know what I mean? Like, that's. That's what reality tv. Good reality TV is just mentally ill. Like the best. Real Housewives are the ones who are mentally ill. Right.

[B]

Well, I meant mentally ill is.

[A]

Is if you're eating your couch, you're mentally ill.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I don't know. I don't know.

[A]

No. If you're kid.

[B]

Mentally ill.

[A]

If you're. If every day. If every day you came home, your kid was eating his couch and there were a camera crew around him filming him, you'd be like, we got to get this kid help, because he's not just eating a couch. He's mentally. Yeah, that's. I mean, just look at. Look at her eyes. She's, you know, God bless her, but yeah. Geez.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

To her.

[B]

Would I be addicted to her?

[A]

That's just the toasted almond bar. To me, like, she's like, wow, I can't get enough of this couch.

[B]

I think if I could, mine would be my bed. I'd just never get out of my bed. I love my bed.

[A]

Married to my bed.

[B]

Married to my bed.

[A]

Yeah. Well, that's Drake says, right? I only love my bed and my mom.

[B]

No. Well, there you go.

[A]

That's it. I'm sorry. Let's go. The toasted. These are. Man. If I could go back. If I could just cheat for a day. The toasted almond good humor. And I think that's what one of the trucks was called. A good. So there was a guy named Marlo who drove an ice cream truck.

[B]

Coating, not a couch coating.

[A]

Maybe that's why she's addicted to eating the couch. Maybe she's trying to get that. That childhood feeling back. Yeah. Her addicted started with the Mr. Softy truck.

[B]

The gateway drug.

[A]

The. So there's a guy named Marlo, and when you would come up to the truck, he would do. He would do a thing called free gum. And, like, the first whatever eight kids that came up, he would give everyone free gum. So then there was, like, a crowd around, and everyone was like, oh, my God, the ice cream truck. Like, you know, so when you would get out of school, you would hear the song coming. You'd be like, I gotta stiff on people. To be one of the first eight to get it. To get the free gum, he would open a pack of, like, those round.

[B]

Bubbles in 17 seconds.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that. You would pop eight in our hands. And then there would be a bunch of screaming kids and getting. What else? Okay, the snow cones were great, but you. Again, those are a thing. You pop out and you suck on the bottom of them.

[B]

Snow cones. What are we. Oh, no, I didn't. Like a snow cone.

[A]

The Snickers ice cream Absolute Elite.

[B]

Gross, gross, gross.

[A]

What's gross about it? That's crazy. What. What are we talking about back there? Anybody got some favorites?

[B]

Bomb pops?

[A]

The. The strawberry ones are so good. This strawberry one, too. This, like. I don't know what it is. The crunchy strawberry on the top. That's past my time. What is that called? It's like a Strawberry King Big Dipper. Yeah, Strawberry Big Dipper. Or drumstick. Yeah, it's like a strawberry drumstick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but not. Yeah, really good.

[B]

The Chip Witch was good.

[A]

Yeah. I didn't love that because I thought the cookies always sucked. What do we. I like these little Jolly Rancher cups, too. They're, like. Never had those. Yeah. Oh, these ones were fun. The Push Pops. Remember they had Flintstone. I was just gonna say they had the Flintstone. Yeah. Shout out. Wow.

[B]

They were orange, right?

[A]

Yeah, I think so. Can you. Yeah. Can you look that up? The Flintstone Push Pops. Wow. We're going back in the day. See, now, SpongeBob. I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, there they are with nerds. They had ones with nerds.

[A]

We get an ice cream truck that comes around the studio every once. Really, Mr. Softy, though, really have any of this? Well, the greatest thing for Mr. Softy was the chocolate and vanilla shake. Oh. Yeah. But. But they were so. It was so expensive when we were kids. It was very rare that you could get one of those when you could, it was nice.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. Mr. Softy would need to come around on. Come around on payday. Yeah. What about, you know what? They. You know what? They just started making Pop Tart ice cream. Can you look that up? The Pop Tart ice cream. I think it's, like, brand new. Brand new. Yeah. Look at that. Top left.

[B]

Oh. So it's. Instead of it being like a cookie sandwich, it's a Pop Tart on the.

[A]

Outside of the ice cream. Yeah. And they make Pop Tart ice cream. Like. Like, just.

[B]

I used to eat a frosted strawberry Pop Tart every day before school. My mom. I would wake up, my mom would just put it on my bed, like, on a plate.

[A]

Did you want it toasted or not?

[B]

Toasted was always better.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God. When that, The. When it was. He, like, when it was warm.

[A]

Oh, there was nothing.

[B]

It was so good. I remember so bad. The first time she gave me that shit.

[A]

The first time in school, seeing a kid eating, like, a Pop Tart that was just, like, out of his lunchbox and wasn't, like, warmed up. I was like, I don't even know. You could do that.

[B]

Dog up. Pop Tart, though, sometimes, you know, desperate times.

[A]

I remember, like, Pop Tarts were out for six months or whatever. And, like, I, I. The thought didn't cross my mind. I always thought it was like, oh, you put those in a toaster and.

[B]

Then you eat them.

[A]

And then you saw.

[B]

It's like eating, like, raw meat.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I was like, oh, I didn't know. This guy's gonna get us salmonella poisoning from the raw Pop Tart. Yeah. And then you saw.

[B]

You Gotta cook that first.

[A]

Yeah. And it was. I was like, wow, this. This is a real. And then it was like, very normal.

[B]

It's like if somebody was just, like, eating a piece of bread from, like, the wonder bread loaf as opposed to, like, plain.

[A]

Yeah, even that's. Even that's a little more normal.

[B]

Oh, my God. My dad used to take wonder white bread, spread a ton of cream cheese on it, slice a tomato, fold it in half, and eat it. Like four of them. Four slices he would make on his. On the plate.

[A]

It's embarrassing the amount of money you'd have to pay me to eat that.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Just like, plain wonder bread with cream.

[B]

Cheese and a tomato.

[A]

The tomato is. Probably helps a little to mask the. It's just, like, so white and soft. And that sounds the most unappetizing. Here's something I was thinking about for Christmas, right? Do you think a family was ever broke and Christmas was coming around? They're like, we're really struggling. What are we gonna do? And one of them was like, let's just tell the kids they were bad. And, like, we. You didn't go, well, Santa didn't get you anything. But. But they don't want to be like, well, we're broke and, like, we can't pay the rent.

[B]

But you think sad.

[A]

These are the thoughts. These are the thoughts that I have. You don't like this thought?

[B]

No, I like it. I would always choose the road of honesty.

[A]

Yeah, you're like, living in a hotel.

[B]

And you're like, listen, kid only likes rich people.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're. Listen. Yeah, well, that's a. I could just imagine, like, two brothers outside of, like, a rundown hotel, and they're like, I thought we were pretty good.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

No. All right, listen. These are the thoughts that come in.

[B]

Your bad thoughts.

[A]

Okay, here's.

[B]

Here's also on a season two renewal, Bad thoughts.

[A]

Season two, baby. You know. You know how like, magazines like Design Mag, whatever the. They're called Design Weekly or whatever they. Usually. It's YouTube videos. I'm sure they were doing stuff before that. And they do it outside that. They go to people's houses and they.

[B]

Do, like, a tour like Architectural Digest.

[A]

Architectural Digest comes to your house. Have any ever asked to do yours or have they ever.

[B]

I did do a shoot for. With Architectural Digest of my house here, but it already looks so different because we've changed so much. So much of the furniture.

[A]

Did they come in and. And do a live tour where, like, you pretend to open the door or you do open the door.

[B]

We did a little video with the designer, but no, we did. It was just more photos. You were just in there yesterday.

[A]

So has anybody ever been like, we want to do a house tour and, like, video it and put it out and have you ever turned that down? Did it. Did you do MTV Cribs back in the day? Didn't you do that?

[B]

I did.

[A]

Can you find that?

[B]

Vegas. I don't even with. It was a house in Vegas that I never had even slept in.

[A]

What a baller you are. MTV Cribs. Jamie Lynn Sig. Wait, so you bought a house in Vegas to possibly for, like, tax purposes or something?

[B]

Probably. I don't know.

[A]

But you have to stay there for six months.

[B]

Yeah. So I don't think we could ever. I think he thought we were going to be there a lot more or wanted to be there a lot more, and we never really were able to ever make it out.

[A]

So you, like.

[B]

I had it for less than a year and then sold it.

[A]

Did you have to, like, you had to, like, design the whole.

[B]

No, it was barely, like, we. I couldn't even. When they told me. When he told me that we were shooting cribs, I'm like, there's no. There's nothing in the house.

[A]

It would be like me shooting cribs right now.

[B]

Correct. What it was.

[A]

This is my couch. Yeah. Yeah. It's my bed. Jamie. Jamie married.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I have a pillow.

[A]

I'm surprised no one's ever asked you to do. I feel like that would be. Do we have a memory lane?

[B]

Yeah. I'm not as, like, into sharing my home as I. Or my personal things as I used to be. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'll share a lot about me. Sure. With Cutter is fun, but, like, I'm not as. I don't feel like I need to share that kind of stuff anymore. Where a long time ago I used to think you had to. Does that make sense?

[A]

Right. Who do you think put that in your head that you had to share that stuff?

[B]

People, like, certain people that I had representing me at the time.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know?

[A]

Yeah. Because I'm just. I'm just thinking about, like, Sopranos. Like, everybody was very private.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you didn't. You didn't pick up like that. That didn't rub off on you to be like, I don't want it, did it?

[B]

It. That was. What was conflicting about it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Was I had somebody very close to me that was pushing me in a direction and told me this was the direction I needed to go. And I was too young and too naive and too insecure to say no.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now your book's coming out, so that should be great. Cutter's a monster. Wow. So this is. All right. I'm gonna say no. This isn't the last season of Sopranos. Or maybe it is. We had a shore house on the Sopranos. Look at wearing an echo shirt. That's an echo shirt. Wow. We had a. It was called like snow caps or something like that was the name of the episode maybe. And it was that we had a house on the shore. Is it 6A or 6B? Oh, no, no, I think this is the backyard. We like walked out into the backyard and first it was a really weird scene where I think they just wanted me to like run or like prance around like a deer in the backyard.

[B]

I would like that video footage, please.

[A]

Yeah. See this, this you could tell is my real drug days. Like, I could tell my face.

[B]

Why?

[A]

It's just. There's a very like pale vampire dead thing that I get when I see myself. Like, look at my eyes.

[B]

Gets thinner.

[A]

Don't. Sure, but don't my eyes look older there than they do now? They look like Al Pacino's eyes here.

[B]

Yeah, they look smaller.

[A]

Yeah. I have like a 60 year old man's eyes because I was just abusing myself. Yeah, yeah, I. It wasn't good. So I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say this is 2007 and this is gonna be. Yeah, See, I got Pacino eyes.

[B]

Twins. Like twins. The two of you.

[A]

I'm gonna say it's 2007. I'm gonna just say season 6B snow caps or something. The episode is called White Caps. But it's season four. Episode 13. Four came out 2002. 2002. So 17. Yeah, I'm just getting into. Wow. Yeah, that's like. That's like the new. The, you know, killing myself is new to me here. Yeah. Wow. This is young.

[B]

Really. Wow. I would have thought it was later.

[A]

Sorry, what year did you say?

[B]

2004.

[A]

2004. 2002. Yeah, 2002. That. Yeah. Cuz I'm 17. Wow. I mean, Edie, you know when we talked about like how you could tell when someone's a good actor is like, that's a photo of her and you could tell she's acting. You know what I mean? Like she's such a fucking good actress that you're just like. Even in a picture it's like, oh, I could Tell that you're not being yourself there like you're being a character.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's crazy how good these people are. All right, I think we could. I think. I think we've. Oh, no. Let's go. We got one. The sandwich guy is back. Let's bring this. Yeah, we'll finish with the sandwich guy. Let's try and. Let's. Let's. Now we're gonna draw on a few chicken cutlets.

[B]

How you doing?

[A]

Good. Yeah. Now we're gonna draw some prosciutt.

[B]

How you doing?

[A]

Oh, slice of thin. Yeah. Pursuit and chicken cutlet. I'll be trying some fresh mozzarella. How you doing?

[B]

Nice hand.

[A]

Yeah. Now we're gonna throw on a little arugula. You don't like, produce some.

[B]

Not with a chicken cutlet.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Those are not gorgeous.

[A]

The finishing touch. What's he finishing with? Yeah. Jamie's juice. Shout out. James juice. This is a zanguich. Wow, look at those colors.

[B]

How the hell do you eat that?

[A]

That's amore. Wow. I'll tell you how you eat it. He's gonna wrap it up for you, and then when you unwrap it, it's magically eatable.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Edible. Sorry.

[B]

That's. That's a pro tip.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Wow. I love it. I loved the sangu.

[A]

All right, listen, that's. That's a pod. Jamie did half of a. An iced coffee during the pod. How you feeling? You buzzing?

[B]

Great. Ready to rock.

[A]

You're ready to rock. Okay. We will, in fact, see you guys next week. Barachi J. Battery. Not today.