YMH Staff Secrets REVEALED | Not Today, Pal

Summary

Podcast Summary: YMH Staff Secrets REVEALED | Not Today, Pal

Title: YMH Staff Secrets REVEALED
Podcast: Not Today, Pal with Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler
Host/Author: YMH Studios
Release Date: March 13, 2025

---

1. Introduction to Staff Secrets

Timestamp: [04:13] - [05:20]

The episode kicks off with Jamie-Lynn Sigler introducing a new segment where YMH Studios employees were encouraged to anonymously share their secrets through a specially designed box. Jamie explains, “We might have our, you know, guesses, but they're willing for us to read them” ([04:24]). Rob expresses his skepticism but maintains that he won’t read any entries he suspects are fabricated, stating, “I’m not going to read any that I don’t. If I believe people were fucking around, I’m not” ([05:00]).

2. Reading and Reacting to Secrets

Timestamp: [05:20] - [26:28]

Rob and Jamie delve into the collection of anonymous secrets, generating laughter and playful banter. Notable entries include:

• Nose-Picking Habit:
  Rob reads: “I really love picking my nose all day.” Jamie responds, “Good for you. Get that shit out of there” ([05:12]).

• Inappropriate Masturbation Confession:
  Rob shares: “I once masturbated to a comedian's TV set.” Jamie speculates, “That had to have been, like, Tom, right?” ([05:54]).

• Use of Racial Slurs:
  Rob discusses: “I think about the N word at least 20 times a day” ([06:24]). Chad and Tanner quickly identify the likely author, fostering a humorous atmosphere.

• Confessions of Bedwetting:
  Rob reads: “I wet the bed until I was 11.” Jamie reacts with disgust, “Gross” ([25:59]).

Throughout this segment, the co-hosts navigate the delicate balance of humor and sensitivity, highlighting the diverse and sometimes shocking nature of the shared secrets.

3. Personal Anecdotes and School Memories

Timestamp: [09:00] - [12:30]

Jamie shares a high school experience where she confronted an English teacher for unfairly excluding her from participating in class plays. She recounts, “I complained” ([09:21]), illustrating her proactive nature.

Rob follows with his own rebellious streak, revealing how he sabotaged the school’s plumbing by plugging drains, leading to a humorous yet mischievous altercation in the science room ([10:32]).

Tanner adds to the narrative with stories of trolling his band teacher by intentionally playing the wrong notes on the trombone to disrupt class, ultimately earning a reprimand ([10:57]).

4. Relationship Dynamics and Personal Preferences

Timestamp: [20:00] - [28:00]

The conversation shifts to relationships, with Rob and Jamie discussing preferences and boundaries:

• Body Hair Preferences:
  Jamie expresses her dislike for excessive body hair, especially back hair, while Rob humorously admits to his hairy armpits and the lengths he goes to manage them ([20:49]).

• Cuckolding Conversations:
  A secret entry about “cucking” sparks a discussion on the topic. Jamie finds the concept somewhat arousing, stating, “I enjoy when I notice other woman noticing Cutter” ([23:04]). Rob elaborates on his comfort levels, explaining his preference for confident partners who can handle attention from others ([24:20]).

5. Disney Memories and Broadway Experiences

Timestamp: [37:18] - [40:57]

Jamie reminisces about her Broadway roles, including playing Belle in "Beauty and the Beast" and Cinderella, highlighting the rigorous demands of performing eight shows a week. She shares, “I have to keep my voice in check” ([40:32]).

Rob reflects on attending Jamie’s performances, albeit humorously admitting he likely attended drunk, enhancing the playful rapport between the hosts ([37:55]).

6. Final Reflections and Closing Remarks

Timestamp: [40:57] - [41:22]

As the episode winds down, Jamie and Rob reflect on their 20-year friendship and professional partnership. Jamie jokes about being surrounded by her 7-year-old son, while Rob nostalgically references memorable moments from "The Sopranos." They conclude with a light-hearted farewell, reinforcing their enduring camaraderie: “Maybe one day” and “Not today, pal” ([40:57] - [41:22]).

---

Notable Quotes:

• Jamie on Her High School Experience:
  “I wasn’t expecting anything, but I wanted to participate and I complained.” ([09:21])

• Rob on Managing Body Hair:
  “I have to trim it, otherwise it’s out of control.” ([21:43])

• Tanner on School Pranks:
  “I trolled my band teacher so bad... I got her to freak out in the middle of class.” ([10:57])

• Jamie on Friendship with Rob:
  “We’ve managed to remain best friends.” ([01:00])

• Rob on Relationship Preferences:
  “I like when it’s like, oh, you don’t got to worry about, like, oh, some guy’s talking about the bar.” ([24:25])

---

Conclusion

In this episode of "Not Today, Pal," Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler offer listeners an entertaining glimpse into their dynamic friendship and professional lives. Through candid discussions, humorous exchanges, and the revealing "Staff Secrets" segment, the hosts showcase their ability to navigate differences and celebrate their enduring bond. Whether sharing personal anecdotes or reacting to anonymous confessions, Jamie and Rob provide a rich and engaging narrative that resonates with both long-time fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

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[Rob]

There are several incidents we need to speak of.

[Jamie]

Go.

[Rob]

What?

[Jamie]

Are you gonna just talk right away about me pulling up here?

[Rob]

Right.

[Jamie]

You distracted me.

[Rob]

Well, then why'd you do it last week?

[Tanner]

Also?

[Jamie]

That wasn't last week. That was a few months ago.

[Rob]

So Jamie's. I see Jamie is pulling him.

[Jamie]

Should we give the backstory of when this was happening? When it happened the first time?

[Rob]

No.

[Jamie]

Did we ever talk about that? No.

[Rob]

No, we never talked about it.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Rob]

I see. I see Jamie's pulling up behind me. So I'm like, oh, wait for Jamie. Hi, Jamie. She pulls into the the spot that she's supposed to and it's like she hits the curb with the tire. Whatever. I look, the tire's like ripped up. I'm like, I think you're going to need a new tire. And she's like, oh no, it's ripped up from the last time I did this exact same thing.

[Chad]

She.

[Jamie]

But I was pulling out last time.

[Rob]

You were pulling out.

[Jamie]

Well, the curb here is like razor edged stones that are just pieced together where at least where I park. Yeah, I fucked up my tire.

[Rob]

And then I said, at least it's.

[Jamie]

The same one, right?

[Rob]

And what I said was, oh, well. And you were like, no, it's the same place where I hit the tire. And then we looked at it was a different place. So your tires double shredded up from YMH parking lot?

[Jamie]

Yep. I'll send the bill.

[Rob]

Okay, well, that incident was you. I believe the next incident is me. Do you remember what happened last week at the end of the pod when we shut the cameras off and we were doing ads?

[Jamie]

Possibly when you.

[Rob]

Let's we have the video. Let's see what happened with shop pay.

[Jamie]

That boost conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more Sales going. If you're serious about growing your business, go to shopify.com. not today. To upgrade your selling today. Cool.

[Chad]

And can we take the sentence? So if you're into growing your business. Yeah. I think I heard like a fart out there or something. Someone unzipped something. I don't know, it was like a loud weird noise.

[Jamie]

I think it was like the Ka Ching sound. Cha Ching sound. No, we put that in post, so I don't know. I heard it too. It wasn't me.

[Chad]

Yeah, that's.

[Jamie]

Did you fart before? I tried to get it right on.

[Rob]

The Cha Ching part.

[Jamie]

Oh my God. I was just leaving.

[Rob]

Jamie's done. Yeah, Jamie walked out.

[Jamie]

That was impressive. Look, I'm surrounded by my 7 year old Jack all the time. Will walk by me and be like, I'm gonna rip. And just farts right by me all the time.

[Rob]

And some people will think, oh, Rob's just farting. The truth is, I'm a sentimental performer and it was my way to celebrate our 20 year anniversary, me and you. Of this scene. Do you have the scene? A couple, three times. Oh, dude, meeting's over.

[Jamie]

Jesus.

[Rob]

It was our 20 year fartiversary.

[Jamie]

Aw, Robbie, you're so sensitive.

[Rob]

Yeah, I am. That's it.

[Jamie]

Sensi Robbie. My favorite kind.

[Rob]

A sensitive guy who has secrets.

[Jamie]

Yeah, in his hands, literally. So if you didn't watch or listen to the episode when we talked about this, Rob and I made a box.

[Rob]

You made a box? Very nicely.

[Jamie]

You had the idea and I made the box to ask YMH employees to just, you know, share their secrets with us. No judgments. We don't know who wrote it. It's completely anonymous. We might have our, you know, guesses, but they're willing for us to read them. What are we supposed to do with these secrets once we read them, we'll see who knows.

[Rob]

Who knows.

[Jamie]

Wow, this is a lot of secrets.

[Rob]

Oh, way to go, guys. Thank you, guys.

[Jamie]

This is.

[Rob]

This is very.

[Jamie]

You deliver.

[Rob]

Yeah, I think I'm not going to be as happy once I start reading.

[Jamie]

What are you two laughing about back there?

[Rob]

People are probably going to have fucked around or. But you know what? I'm not going to read any that I. That I don't. That I believe. If I believe people were fucking around, I'm not. I'm not going to read it. The first one says I'm really getting sick of all these white folks who could.

[Jamie]

Who wrote that?

[Rob]

Who could that have been? I could have been anybody. Let's.

[Jamie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rob]

Could have been anyone.

[Jamie]

Of course.

[Rob]

No, I'm kidding. It doesn't say that same Z, bro. Come on, man.

[Tanner]

What do we do?

[Rob]

No, no, no. Okay. First one says, I really love picking my nose all day. If that's a guy, that's kind of weak. If that's a girl, that's. That's good. I fully approve of that one.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Good for you. Get that shit out of there.

[Rob]

Oh. Oh, I don't know. TV set. What? It says, I once masturbated to a comedian's TV set. I guess they mean they're comedy sets.

[Jamie]

So I think the only thing that's, like, scandalous about that is I'm. It had to have been, like, Tom, right?

[Rob]

Or Christina.

[Jamie]

Or Christina.

[Rob]

Wow. We're getting stone faces back. We're getting no reads back there. All right, well, people might be going crazy in the other room.

[Jamie]

Comedy gets their socks off.

[Rob]

Again, this is me reading someone else's secret. I am not saying this. I think about the N word at least 20 times a day.

[Tanner]

That ain't even a secret. I know who that is.

[Rob]

Well, that's anyone who listens to Drake.

[Tanner]

Or that's Tanner, that's for sure.

[Jamie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Tanner]

Tanner for sure.

[Rob]

Wow.

[Tanner]

The beloved for him. But that. That. All of it in his head. Tell me I'm wrong. I know you're listening.

[Jamie]

Okay, I'm running.

[Rob]

You got to read this one, because I could get in trouble.

[Jamie]

Whoa. I actually think swastikas look cool.

[Tanner]

Never mind. That one's Tanner. I don't know who the other one was anymore. Does the handwriting match? These last.

[Rob]

The N word one.

[Tanner]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Right. Let's see. Same guy. James.

[Jamie]

Same guy. I'll make a little tanner pile over here.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

He's just gonna slowly offend everyone in here. I'm the Jew.

[Rob]

Sometimes I wish someone would just blow dart me, and I would wake up not remembering my life that was mine. Yeah. I had a feeling that was you, James. Because you wrote it sitting across from me.

[Jamie]

Yep.

[Rob]

You just want it all. You want to forget it all.

[Jamie]

And if.

[Rob]

Yeah. And then you wake up with, no, who am I?

[Jamie]

What's my name? Tell me everything.

[Rob]

But do you want it to be, like, 10 years so people are done even trying? Like, being by your bedside? Or do you want it. Do you want it to be like, tomorrow?

[Jamie]

Yeah. I give everybody a break to move on. Clean slate for us all.

[Rob]

Ooh.

[Tanner]

Wow.

[Rob]

This. This is my favorite one so far. I. I think I. I think I kind of feel like I know who this is. I got my high school math teacher fired for giving me a C and got the principal to give me straight A's. Wow. That. First of all, 99%. That's abroad, right? Oh, Chad.

[Jamie]

I was gonna guess Chad. Actually, my thought would.

[Chad]

It's either. Is it that it's either any or Heather.

[Jamie]

It's not you, Chad.

[Chad]

No, I earned all my A's.

[Jamie]

You earned yours.

[Tanner]

I understand why you'd think me. Why Heather?

[Jamie]

I feel like any wouldn't give a fuck about a C. Yeah, that's.

[Chad]

Well, because Rob was thinking it sounded like a girl did it. And then I was like, out of the girls. I think Heather would. I don't think Caitlyn won. Maybe Niana.

[Rob]

It just feels like a girl would have a much.

[Jamie]

I want. I want more to this. How'd you get the principal to give you the A?

[Rob]

That's what you gotta do.

[Jamie]

But it's true, because maybe there's another.

[Rob]

One and he could have played the black card where anybody else. It has to be a woman who could kind of, you know, Oh, I gotta. I gotta see.

[Jamie]

Is that what we do?

[Rob]

Yeah. You know, I really, really want an A. You know, that's. That's probably what went down. If anybody wants to come in and talk about this one, this one's great. I got my math teacher fired.

[Jamie]

Yeah. That's brutal. Wow.

[Rob]

Anybody in there ever get a teacher fired on a separate thing or get a teacher in trouble?

[Jamie]

Trouble. I got a teacher in trouble once.

[Rob]

What'd you do?

[Jamie]

She was an English teacher. She was in high school. She was very young. It was like my whole high school was teachers that were like. Had been there for decades. And this girl all of a sudden comes in and, you know, she's 24, 25, and we were doing like a play in class, and people would volunteer for roles, and every time I raised my hand, she would purposely not pick me. Like, over there, over there, over there. And literally one day I was like, what the fuck? Like. Like, I'm an actor. Like, why won't. She's like, that's exactly why I'm not picking you. Because you think I should. And I had never. I was not a bratty kid. Rob can back me up. I wasn't like angel. I wasn't like. But I wasn't like. I wasn't expecting anything, but I wanted to participate and I complained.

[Rob]

The only time Jamie ever did something bad because she was trying to participate too hard in school.

[Jamie]

Yeah. You know, must be typical me. Blow dart that.

[Rob]

Yeah. Yami. Yami blow. Dartley. Oh, yeah. I got. I. I did something up in school one time where we went into the science room and we plugged up the. The drains and all the sinks and we ran the faucets and left for. And we did it on Friday.

[Jamie]

Vandalism.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Wow. That's.

[Rob]

I did vandalism in Sopranos. We like, destroyed the pool and the thing. That's what you got to do. You gotta. You gotta, you know, write a passage.

[Tanner]

I trolled my band teacher. I was in band as a kid, and I trolled my band teacher so bad. Like, I would always play. I was pretty damn good at. I used to play trombone. But you could play, like, if you're a musician, then it hurts if something's like a little off, you know?

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Tanner]

So I'd play if. Whatever. If it's like a B that we're playing, I'd play like a B flat. Flat. Just like a little. And always she'd be like, who is this? Where is that? Where she always get that face? I thought it was so fucking funny. So I did it so much that eventually she. Eventually she somehow learned it was me. And then I did it so often that I got her to freak out in the middle of class and she said, I'm sick of you monkeying around with your monkey face.

[Rob]

Oh, man. It was Tanner's mom.

[Tanner]

Woo. Mrs. Price. Shout out to Ms. Price. Man, I gave her nothing but trouble, though. She's not a bad person. I definitely. I was a troll.

[Jamie]

You let her down that road.

[Tanner]

Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. I forced it.

[Rob]

Wow.

[Tanner]

It was like every song. Every song.

[Rob]

How long do you play the trombone for?

[Tanner]

I think that was fifth. Fifth grade to eighth grade. So four years or something.

[Jamie]

You could probably still whip that out. A little party trick.

[Chad]

Could you actually play it?

[Tanner]

Yeah. Hell yeah. I was good as hell. I was an honor. Band.

[Chad]

No.

[Tanner]

Okay, I believe that. All right. There it goes.

[Rob]

I believe it.

[Tanner]

And I just didn't achieve that. Fair enough.

[Rob]

I believe that. And I also believe you're sick of all these white folks. I believe both. Both things can be true. I got. So we had a band. I want to say his name because it makes the thing funnier. But we had a guy, a teacher who taught band, and he had a bo problem. Like, really bad.

[Jamie]

Oh, there's always one teacher.

[Rob]

Yeah. And they kept him in the basem. Yeah. So you would walk down the basement, and before you even got to his.

[Jamie]

Class, it was like, band was in the basement.

[Rob]

Yeah. Yeah. And you would smell. You'd be like, wow, that's right. So kids, I don't know if it's like, April Fool's or whatever, but they would put deodorant in his mailbox in the. In the, like, principal's office. So one time he, like, had the full. You know, oh, no, that's a military school. That's not a band. They just pulled up a picture of me from military school. What was I saying?

[Tanner]

Oh.

[Rob]

So they would put deodorant in his mailbox, and he One time, like, I guess to think it would stop it. He, like, addressed the classroom and was like, I have an issue where I'm allergic to deodorant and I can't wear it. And, I mean, it was the hardest anybody had ever to try to not laugh. Like, you're just sitting there shaking, turning bright red, and he's like, it's a condition.

[Jamie]

I actually would like to manifest a moment where it's very inappropriate to laugh, but I want to laugh so hard because it's like, it's the best. I love it.

[Rob]

It's the greatest.

[Jamie]

And I haven't had it all the time so long.

[Rob]

Yeah, I know. The last one I had. I can't even really say it on.

[Jamie]

Here, because mine was with Alejandro.

[Rob]

Oh, yeah, that's right. Have we talked? On our last podcast, we. Our buddy Kassam had a UFO expert on. And as soon as he popped up on the zoom, Jamie just couldn't stop laughing. She couldn't control herself.

[Jamie]

I was really not trying to be disrespectful, but I was so disrespectful to this man.

[Rob]

I.

[Jamie]

Every time he started talking about UFOs, I just got the giggles.

[Rob]

And. And while she's, like, uncontrollably shaking so in 1949, and you're just losing. And then I'm trying to be a good friend, and I'm like, well, let me make something funny so that Jamie can laugh. That's all you ever want. When you're, like, trying not to laugh, is something funny to happen? Then you laugh way too hard. Yeah.

[Jamie]

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[Rob]

All right, this one's long. When I was young I would masturbate using the faucet in the bathtub during COVID I tried it again and did it so much I had problems peeing and had to stop.

[Tanner]

Wait, what Masturbate with a faucet.

[Jamie]

Like the handheld water thing that's gonna be a girl?

[Tanner]

Yeah, of course. Okay.

[Rob]

Oh, I was thinking the. The thing the water comes out of, but. Yeah, the.

[Jamie]

It's usually that. I mean, that faucet's usually not gonna.

[Rob]

I was thinking, like, the nozzle the water comes out of.

[Jamie]

Yeah, but you know how there's one that you don't get into that.

[Rob]

Is that.

[Tanner]

Is that called masturbating? To do that? That seems.

[Chad]

Yeah, of course.

[Tanner]

Yeah, that's what that's called. I don't know why it doesn't.

[Jamie]

There's different ways to get yourself off. Yeah, yeah.

[Rob]

If you're using a vibrator, that's masturbate. Right. It's all just masturbating, isn't it, really?

[Tanner]

I guess I didn't know the definition of masturbating. In my head, it was just jacking off. Like, I didn't notice this. It was called the same thing.

[Rob]

So you didn't think women could masturbate?

[Tanner]

I think that. I think that for me, I've. I guess when I imagine that word for a girl, it's just. It's just fingers. I didn't know that you could. I didn't know. It's everything. So you can use.

[Jamie]

You can use.

[Tanner]

Well, I know you could use, but I didn't know that that was still called the same thing.

[Jamie]

Got it.

[Tanner]

Why? Yeah. I don't even know.

[Rob]

Well, now you know, did it so much, I had problems peeing and had to stop.

[Jamie]

It's like maybe too much of that water was shooting up the pee hole.

[Rob]

Sounds. Sounds about right.

[Jamie]

Irritating urethra.

[Rob]

Dr. Jamie's in every.

[Chad]

But they said the. The faucet, right? What did they say?

[Jamie]

I think they mean, though, you know how, like, in a.

[Tanner]

You could take off, Right? Yeah.

[Jamie]

And, like, spray with that has more force.

[Chad]

Okay. Because if they mean the faucet, that's some maneuvering they'd have to do to get under that. Right.

[Jamie]

You all are just trying to picture this so hard in your head.

[Rob]

Yeah. And then it's gonna. Backlash. We're all trying to picture.

[Jamie]

And then it's a head or a faces or just a body that you're envisioning right now.

[Rob]

It's just a. Two big tits, right? With. Let's see. Let's see what else we got.

[Jamie]

When you. When you imagine a woman, right. Like you're all picturing a woman there. I have a question. What. What does her vagina look like? Is it shaved? Is It. Full bush. Like, what. What's your ideal vagina?

[Rob]

I'm always shaved.

[Tanner]

Those are two different questions. I guess I didn't picture.

[Jamie]

You didn't picture a vagina? You pictured a vagina. What did. What did it look like?

[Rob]

Well, whenever I do, if I was there or not, I pictured no hair. Yeah. I'm a no hair.

[Tanner]

Yeah, I think I do, too. Just for. Just because it's, like, for clarity. Yeah. Like, simpler. In my head, I pictured a thunderbolt.

[Rob]

Oh, nice. Yeah. Oh, Aviator Nation.

[Chad]

I pictured no hair, but that's not necessarily what my preference is.

[Tanner]

Exactly.

[Jamie]

Yeah, right.

[Tanner]

Those, like. Those are two different.

[Rob]

What's your preference, Chad? Big, full bush.

[Chad]

Partial.

[Rob]

Oh, really?

[Chad]

Kind of way to be retro cleaned up, you know?

[Rob]

Okay.

[Chad]

Not bear.

[Rob]

Wow. I like it. Well, that's because he's a man of the. You know, he sleeps on the couch. He goes. He's man of the wild, you know?

[Jamie]

That's right.

[Rob]

Yeah, I like it. No, it tracks. You know, I actually had a thing on here. I don't know if it's on. Oh, here. We never. We've never talked about what you feel about men's body hair. Like, do you. Because here's the thing, right? I've. I've dated women before, and they go, oh, can you do this? Like, can you shave your chest or not shave your chest? Or this?

[Jamie]

They straight up ask you.

[Rob]

Yeah. And I'm like, well, yeah, I want them to be as attracted to me as possible. But then if you're a guy and you're like, oh, I think a woman should shave her armpits. They're like, how dare you? It's like, well, if I'm dating somebody, I want them to be attracted to me.

[Jamie]

I want them to shave their armpits, too.

[Rob]

Oh, Jamie, this is the best.

[Jamie]

I want to see women armpit.

[Rob]

This is. I'm sorry for calling you out on your car accident earlier.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Rob]

I feel bad.

[Jamie]

I knew you would. I. I don't have a preference. I just don't love, like, back hair. Like, shoulder back. Like, shoulder blade back hair.

[Rob]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jamie]

Like, if I could choose an area to, like, remove the hair, it would be that. But, like, chest hair, arm hair, pubic hair, whatever.

[Rob]

Okay.

[Jamie]

You're a man.

[Rob]

Yeah. Do you know I like you? So you've never said to cut her.

[Jamie]

Like, never.

[Rob]

Hey, can you do this?

[Jamie]

Well, when I first met Cutter, right.

[Rob]

He was so young. He couldn't grow anybody.

[Jamie]

He was so young. But, like, what? They shaved. You know, like, when I would come visit him while he was on the road. Like, he would have his, like a teammate, like, shave his back. You know what I mean? Like, he would be.

[Rob]

He's got a hairy.

[Jamie]

Yeah, he's hairy. You wouldn't think he's hairy, but he's hairy.

[Rob]

Yeah, I wouldn't think back. Yeah, I'm starting to get.

[Jamie]

Yeah, he has, like, I tell every. I'll tell him, like, you're looking a little teen wolfie back there. Like, it's just like. Yeah, it's like, you know. You know the area I'm talking about.

[Rob]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jamie]

You're not hairy at all.

[Rob]

No, my armpits are extremely hairy, which is.

[Jamie]

What do you do about that? Do you, like.

[Rob]

I have to trim it, otherwise it's out of control.

[Jamie]

Scissor.

[Rob]

No, I use my shout out man groomer. But it's. It'll be. Jamie. My hair will be from, like, here to here. Like, if I don't. If I don't. It's. It's. And it was that way when I was like, 15.

[Jamie]

Ew.

[Rob]

I know. It's bad. And then where else am I hairy? Anywhere else? No, not really. I could let it, like, if I really. If I wouldn't, like, trim here for, like, six months, it'd probably be like. But it's not like, thick hair. It's like, kind of like. It's like the hair on my head, you know? Yeah, it's like. It's not. It doesn't get like.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Do we go, wow, this is. This is interesting. I see some of these. You go, man, I really want more details. Here's someone else's secret. I have cucked and I will cuck again.

[Jamie]

What's that again?

[Rob]

So cucking it. Well, I don't know which the cucker or the cucky, but, like, cucking is when a guy likes to watch his wife get in front of him.

[Jamie]

Oh, yeah.

[Rob]

So this means that they. If you say I have cuck, that means you were somebody's wife, right? Or is it the other way? This is not Tanner. Is that what you were saying?

[Tanner]

Any that I know.

[Chad]

I wonder which way they're talking about.

[Rob]

That's what I'm saying. That they watch their.

[Jamie]

Watch their partner or. Yeah, that's what it sounds like to me.

[Tanner]

Yeah. That I've cooked. That means I'm the cook.

[Rob]

Really?

[Chad]

Let's ISO that, huh?

[Jamie]

Did they say if they liked it? What did they say? And I'll do it again.

[Rob]

I'll do it again. So they like. They like watching their girl get in front of them, man. Listen, there's some stuff that you see that people like and you relate to and some stuff you go, I don't care. Like, this is the last thing I would ever want to watch somebody. My girl in front of me.

[Jamie]

Same.

[Rob]

That would just be sad. I could. I couldn't. I couldn't get into that. Wow. Does it.

[Tanner]

See the hot wifing thing, though? That's kind of cool.

[Rob]

What does that.

[Jamie]

What does that mean?

[Tanner]

Where you kind of get into, like, just dressing your girl, like, super slutty outside, and then you get people to flirt with her, but nothing ever happens. She comes home with you, and then you guys go crazy. That's kind of hot.

[Jamie]

I. I've never thought of it going that far. But I enjoy when I notice other woman noticing Cutter. See, I like it. To me, it's actually definitely a turn on.

[Rob]

It actually depends on the girl I'm dating. Like, if I'm dating somebody who's very, like, seems like, sweet and innocent in this. When guys notice her, it bothers you.

[Jamie]

Want to protect.

[Rob]

Because I think that she's bothered. But when I. I love dating, like, fudgeing mean brunettes from New York because it's like, yeah, go ahead. Like, good luck. Go. Go try and hit on her. Like, she's nasty. I love that.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Rob]

I like when it's like, oh, you don't got to worry about, like, oh, some guy's talking about the bar. It's like, yeah, good. Go ahead, buddy.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Like, you know, we're like, I've dated girls where you're like, all right, I have to go over there. And then you're like. You kind of feel a little like you're babysitting. Which is why I don't like. I don't like dating nice women. Does anybody. Does anybody want to talk about being the. The cuck? The cuck, that's.

[Jamie]

It's a secret.

[Chad]

We gotta find this cuck.

[Jamie]

We promise to stay secrets.

[Chad]

Thing is, Cap, I feel like it's Cap.

[Tanner]

I feel like someone wrote that to be funny.

[Rob]

Really? Maybe.

[Tanner]

Like it. Maybe I get the. I get a feeling.

[Rob]

But it's also. Or there's somebody outside right now who we could watch on the camera who went like, you know it. Finally. They finally got to tell their secret. It's got to feel like a million pounds, you know?

[Chad]

So they're sweating bullets, hoping we don't guess their name.

[Rob]

Yeah. Or they're jerking off in the bathroom.

[Jamie]

Right. Who also writes in a Sharpie.

[Rob]

You read that one Jane, because that's. I. That's not a real one, but go ahead. You want to read it?

[Jamie]

Everyone thinks I'm gay, but I'm actually straight. Then it was signed by Reed, but then crossed out.

[Tanner]

Shout out. Breed.

[Jamie]

Well, shout out Reed.

[Rob]

I just. Oh, there's one more. Just when you think the game's over. Hold on. I just want to thank everyone. Jamie made, like, a plea. Will everyone please do this? And everybody did it, and it was great. And this is. This is fun. Yeah. Remember, you held up the box and you were like, please be nice.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rob]

What, did you get blow darted before you came in here? I wish this one. I don't think this is. This is good, but. And thanks for being in the spirit, but I think this is a lot of people. It says, I wet the bed until I was 11.

[Jamie]

Traumatic.

[Rob]

I think, before, like, 13. It's like, you got to be like, 14 if you're saying 16. Yeah. That's like, wow. I went to bed until I was 11. All right, well.

[Jamie]

Well.

[Rob]

Sorry, Loser. I was just kidding.

[Jamie]

Gross.

[Rob]

Thank you, everybody. I mean, maybe, should we leave it out another week? You think if we put it back out next week. You think YMH has more secrets?

[Jamie]

Of course I think there's more secrets here.

[Rob]

Do we got a Thousands? All right, we got.

[Jamie]

We'll make a. We'll make Tanner his own box.

[Rob]

Yeah. Is. Yeah. Is this episode called YMH Secrets Revealed?

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Rob]

Okay, here's. Here's something I've been wanting to ask you for a while, Amy. So you're on a date. Now you have to either, you know, you never got married, whatever, however you want to do. This fantasy land where you're single, you're on a date with a guy, and your friend introduces you to him, and she goes, he's a doctor. You're on a date. You're three hours into this date. It's fucking incredible. You're like, this guy's amazing. This. And then he's like, oh, yeah, you know, work today was tough. And you find out. He's like, yeah, I'm a gynecologist. Does that make you think.

[Jamie]

No.

[Rob]

It doesn't bother you at all?

[Jamie]

No.

[Rob]

Really? So it doesn't bother you that this guy's gonna be just looking at puss all day?

[Jamie]

I would imagine he's pretty desensitized to it. Like, I don't think.

[Rob]

Then does that bother you because you want him to be excited when he sees that puss, you know?

[Jamie]

No. I don't know. I guess I've known male gynecologists and have felt like there's. It's very clinical and.

[Rob]

Yeah, because I think as. As a dude, like, if I was. If I was dating a girl and heard every day, I was like, all right, babe, I see you after work. And I knew she was just, like, handling all day.

[Jamie]

Well, how would you. How you feel about, like, your girlfriend being a professional masseuse for athletes or. You know what I mean? Like a team body worker? Like, how would you feel about that?

[Rob]

I'd be okay if she was a masseuse for, like, jockeys, like horse jockeys. But if she's going to, like, the pros. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's. That's tough.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Rob]

But. But even. Honestly, even if she was just a masseuse who was massaging guys, like, that's. That's kind of. It's kind of tough, you know, because you know what it is? It's like. Like, I think about it, right? And it's like, I can deal with it. But then there's the times where it's like the relationship's not going good and she'd be leaving for work and I'd be like, yeah, go touch all day. You know, And I would be resentful. Like, I. Like, I think that would bother me.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Rob]

You know, we're like, when everything's great, like the first month of dating somebody and she's a masseuse, it's like, oh, yeah, no, she's great. Oh, my God. She gave me a massage. You know, like, you find the things and then a year in when you're mad and it's okay. Okay, yeah, we'll go. Go rub a bunch of guys. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I know myself. I would be.

[Jamie]

Yeah, I know you too.

[Rob]

Like, any says I'm a little petty, you know, and he says I'm a little petty sometimes.

[Tanner]

I said you're petty?

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Tanner]

When did I say that?

[Rob]

Episode 47. I don't know what it was.

[Tanner]

But you remember calling it.

[Rob]

Yeah, you said, you said he doesn't forget. Robbie does. As a petty doesn't. I have petty and I will petty again. I'm ready for my life to change. ABC Sundays. American Idol is all new. Give it your all. Good luck come out the golden ticket. Let's hear it. This is immense world.

[Chad]

I've never seen anything like it.

[Rob]

And a new chapter begins.

[Jamie]

You're going to Hollywood.

[Rob]

Carrie Underwood joins Lionel Richie, Luke Bryant and Ryan Seacrest on American IDOL NEWS Sundays, 8, 7 Central.

[Tanner]

On ABC and stream on Hulu.

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[Rob]

Um, was that the memory lane for today, or do we have another memory lane? By the way, we should try and do Memory Lanes where it's me and Jamie. Lately, we've been doing one or the other. We should. We should have both of us.

[Jamie]

That was both of us.

[Rob]

No, I'm saying last. Oh, here we go.

[Jamie]

I was just watching Borat on cable. Is this our dialogue? Should we say it? Ready? I was just watching Borat on cable. You can watch that thing 50 times and it's still hilarious.

[Rob]

It wasn't fair to the people involved. Is that really.

[Tanner]

Got it.

[Rob]

Is that. Yeah. Thanks. Is that really what we. What we said?

[Tanner]

Yes.

[Jamie]

Look at us. Hbo. Let's reboot it.

[Tanner]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Wow. All right, look. Look how depressed. See, I'm playing depressed.

[Jamie]

You see that plays depressed so good.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

I look like I'm wearing, like a tablecloth or something.

[Rob]

I gotta say, listen, I don't like to toot our own Horns, but 20 years later, we're doing all right. Game. We look all right. You know, none of us have really fallen off. Yeah, we're doing all right. You know, thanks for pulling up the scene where I probably look the worst, you know, But I'm just saying, like.

[Jamie]

Out of all the scenes, another actor in that top screen.

[Rob]

Oh, the vampire guy.

[Jamie]

You definitely look vampirey.

[Rob]

Yeah. Robert Pattinson.

[Jamie]

Who does he look like? Guys, help me out here.

[Tanner]

That dude from Hunger Games.

[Jamie]

Yes. He looks like Brad Pitt. Josh Hutcherson, Right? Yeah. Very good. Thank you. Yeah.

[Rob]

That's what you were thinking of. Yeah. Wow.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Well, hunger. You know, Hunger Games is like, one of my favorite movies.

[Rob]

Is it? I didn't know that.

[Jamie]

I love it. The first one, I don't think.

[Rob]

If I had to name your favorite movies. Forrest Gump. Yeah. I think that's all. Oh, there's some. There's one that I'm not.

[Jamie]

Come on. I talk about. It's like, what made me want to be an actor.

[Rob]

Goonies.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Here you go, Jamie. Here's Your Josh Hutchinson.

[Jamie]

Yeah. You just like.

[Rob]

I played poker with him one time.

[Jamie]

Did you?

[Tanner]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Nice guy.

[Rob]

Yeah, nice, nice guy.

[Jamie]

Good to hear.

[Rob]

Big fan if he wants that revealed.

[Jamie]

Big fan.

[Rob]

Yeah. What are you laughing at?

[Tanner]

Any the way he said his last name.

[Jamie]

That's what his friends call him.

[Rob]

Yeah. You stayed. So when you were in la, you stayed at one of your friends houses, as did I. Do you find yourself having to get used to things like, obviously it was only a few days, but are there things where you're like, ugh, like I, you know, this isn't how I do it or like this is, you know, like, like an easy one. Is like the temperature you sleep at. You know, there's nothing that you're like.

[Jamie]

So easygoing with stuff like that. I'm so not particular about stuff like that. As opposed to my husband who checks the temperature in every room of our house multiple times a day to make.

[Rob]

Sure it's the notes.

[Jamie]

Yeah. I once, I swear to God, he was out of town once and I was warm or no, I was cold in our room and turned up the temperature and he, from wherever he was else in the country changed it.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Because he still had to check the temperature in the house and was like, oh, no, the room is. Why is it 72? It should be 68. Yeah.

[Rob]

He's an absolute nut job. The best, but absolute nut job.

[Jamie]

So we, the other night we were going to bed and I was like, what's up? And he's like, if you only knew what's going on in my head. Monkeys are basically playing cymbals and pianos and there's a whole circus going on.

[Rob]

Yeah, you can't.

[Jamie]

It's wild.

[Rob]

And I still, I wish you could have seen when he lost his zins at the super bowl party. It was.

[Jamie]

I've seen that absolute.

[Rob]

It was like. The only other time I saw him look like that is when Bo got hurt that one time at the other super bowl party. Remember when Bo got hurt and he.

[Jamie]

Bocce ball to the balls.

[Rob]

He took a bocce ball to the balls. Yeah. Poor guy. And. And that was the same reaction Cutter had when he lost his zins. Yeah. And then. And what. What's funny is like five same level of devastation. Yeah. And five minutes into looking them, he's like, I guess I'll just have to get some from. And like said someone else at the party who he knew had zins and it's like, dude. He was like, really?

[Jamie]

No one like him.

[Rob]

Part of me does want to try Something like nicotine. Ish. Because, like, I smoke cigars sometimes, but I'm like, I wanna. I kind of want to try, but I want. I want to try it with you.

[Jamie]

He tried to show me. I would love that. I will spit it out very soon after I put it in my mouth.

[Rob]

That's why I don't want anything like, because that stuff is just like instant rejection. It's too powerful. Some people feel sick. I want to get something light. Something nice and light.

[Jamie]

He tried to have me watch a video the other day where somebody was swearing that nicotine cures cancer and diseases. And he was like, see, look at. Look how healthy I am.

[Rob]

He is cancer free.

[Tanner]

If nicotine cured cancer.

[Jamie]

That's right.

[Tanner]

Cigarettes.

[Jamie]

Correct.

[Tanner]

Okay.

[Jamie]

Correct. Correct.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Tanner]

Just making sure I understood.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Rob]

There's no way. There's no way any. Got to see it.

[Jamie]

Didn't fool me any. Don't you worry.

[Rob]

His full attention. He knows what's going on.

[Jamie]

He didn't have to buy his a.

[Rob]

Because when I was staying at my friend's place, the thing I really had to get used to was like, he just doesn't lock the doors. Front door, back door, nighttime.

[Jamie]

But how do you know he wasn't locking the doors?

[Rob]

Because when you live like I'm used to, every time I go to my door, I get a key. And. And his doors were just always open. And I would be like, in la, in California. I was staying in San Diego.

[Jamie]

That's right.

[Rob]

Doors. Oh.

[Jamie]

And I'm like, wow, I need to lock doors.

[Rob]

I need to lock. And I think that's like. Yeah. Well, also, you live in a community where, like, you really don't. But even if. If you lived in just a house that was on the street, I'm sure you would lock the door all the time.

[Jamie]

Of course.

[Rob]

And that's what this was. And I was like, you don't lock the doors. Like, that's wild.

[Jamie]

That would make me uncomfortable.

[Rob]

Yeah. It's especially like being in New York City was like, if you didn't lock your door for 30 minutes, your shit was just. Everything was gone. Like, the building I grew up in was like, good luck. Like, you would lock your door and.

[Jamie]

Smell, and they smell an unlocked door.

[Rob]

So my. My best friend grew up two blocks from me. And one time his mom tells the story, I think he was really young. They were all sitting in the living room and his mom was like, she's like, do you smell that? Like, it smells like shit. Like. Like, what is that? And the dad was like, Oh, I do smell that. And the kids were like, yeah, we smell that. What is that? And they just, like, kept watching what they were watching. And they're like. And they're like, man, it's getting, like, worse. What is that? They're looking at their shoes. Whatever. Like, nothing. Somebody gets up to go get, like, a drink. There's a homeless man standing in the hallway. Yeah.

[Jamie]

Of their apartment.

[Rob]

Yeah. Just full on and had to, like, get them. And then, like, they. They became like, all right, three locks on the door. We lock it every time. I don't know if the door was unlocked or what, but, yeah, New York City.

[Jamie]

That would freak me out so bad.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

What did. What did they do in that moment? Did the guy tackle him? Did he ask?

[Rob]

I don't think it was like, you weren't there. No, I wasn't there. I. I gotta ask. I don't think it was, like, then, like, dangerous. Danger and anything. A bit. I think he was kind of, like, out of it. But again, I. I don't remember. I would have to ask her. Yeah.

[Jamie]

No. Thank you.

[Rob]

Shout out. Happy. My friends. My friends are safe. Last one before we. Before we go. What Disney characters have you played in stuff?

[Jamie]

I've played Belle, Beauty and the Beast. I played Ariel.

[Rob]

Little Mermaid. What'd you play Little Mermaid in, like.

[Jamie]

A Long island production of Little Mermaid.

[Rob]

Okay.

[Jamie]

I played Cinderella.

[Rob]

Oh, wow.

[Jamie]

You came to see me in that at Madison Square Garden.

[Rob]

I remember seeing you as Beauty and the Beast, but I don't remember Cinderella, but I'm sure I went.

[Jamie]

But I just don't think you came. Yeah, I think you came with Jason's or Bone.

[Rob]

Okay. I probably showed up drunk, which is cool.

[Jamie]

You were probably. You were probably sleeping through.

[Rob]

It was really sniffing painkillers.

[Jamie]

I think that's it.

[Rob]

So I saw a video of Johnny Depp. I'm sure this is, like, viral or whatever. He's. People are going through the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, and then, like, they turn a corner and he's actually there. Right. So, like, they surprise him or whatever. So if you could play one Disney character where you did, like, you surprised people, and it's like, oh, Jamie's playing, you know, whoever.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Who would you want to be?

[Jamie]

I guess Belle.

[Rob]

Beauty.

[Jamie]

Because I look most like Belle.

[Rob]

So who. Who played the Beast? When.

[Jamie]

When I was on Broadway.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

His name is Steve Blanchard.

[Rob]

Can you guys look that up?

[Jamie]

He was the Beast for, like, many, probably years before I was there, and I think there for quite some time after. He was incredible.

[Rob]

Does he have to do. Is it just, like, a mask and it's easier? Does he have to do, like, hours of makeup?

[Jamie]

It was heavy makeup, and, like, I. I don't think I actually. I think I signed a contract that I'm not allowed to tell how they did anything in the production that I was supposed to always answer. It's Disney magic, really.

[Rob]

Oh, Disney's got you 20.

[Jamie]

But I don't blame them. It really. They, like. I remember when I was at my dress rehearsal to, like, learn how the beast sort of transformed into the prince. I would watch it from the audience and, like, couldn't figure it out. And then when I got to be in the rehearsals, and so it was. It truly is magic the way these people come up with how to make things seem real on the stage.

[Rob]

This is not the guy.

[Jamie]

That's a. Yeah, that's him next to you. That's you. Yes.

[Rob]

Oh, my God, Jamie, you look like your mom.

[Jamie]

I know. Whenever I have more weight in my face, people say I look like my mom. Like, my face is rounder. Cause my dad face is more angular.

[Rob]

I mean, look how loved. No wonder celebrities are so up. Look how loved you are. Look at.

[Jamie]

That was my opening night, though.

[Rob]

That was my first.

[Tanner]

Like, you're.

[Rob]

You're literally in a princess outfit with a 3000 roses next to a prince. Like, you know, this is why people are so up. Yeah. This is why we got to come to Austin.

[Jamie]

And I'm asking people to blow dart me to forget my life.

[Rob]

So, you know, you ungrateful pieces. Can we see. Can we see the guy that's.

[Jamie]

I mean, that's. When he's not a beast anymore, you know?

[Rob]

Beast. Wow. Okay. I can't think of anything I'd hate more than doing a Broadway show.

[Jamie]

Eight shows a week, so it just.

[Rob]

Becomes your whole life, right? Yeah, but it's hard. I think it's harder to do a play than a musical, Right? Because I really.

[Jamie]

No, because with a musical, you have to keep your voice in check. Like, I was on vocal rest when I wasn't on stage most of the time.

[Rob]

See, see, fellas, this is what you got to do. You got to date abroad.

[Jamie]

Who's a Broadway actress.

[Rob]

Broadway actress. And then she's like, oh, I gotta be on Vocal Rest for 18 hours a day. Yeah. I'd be like, okay, babe.

[Jamie]

It's true.

[Rob]

Yeah. Wow. Just write me. Write me notes when you need something. That's. That'd be nice. Ah, well, maybe one day. All right, we'll see you. We'll see you guys next week.

[Jamie]

Maybe one day.

[Rob]

Hey, not today. Hey, not today, pal. Whoa, whoa.

[Jamie]

Not today. Kapoom.

[Tanner]

One time, Manhattan.

[Rob]

Battery.