Podcast Summary: Note to Self
Episode: How to Be Single: 10 Practices for Making the Most of Your Single Girl Era
Release Date: November 7, 2024

Host: Peyton Sartain

In this engaging episode of Note to Self, host Peyton Sartain delves deep into the vibrant and empowering phase of being single. Drawing from her personal experiences of transitioning between singlehood and a committed relationship, Peyton offers a comprehensive guide on how to embrace and maximize the single girl era. The episode is thoughtfully structured around 10 key practices that encourage self-growth, freedom, and fulfillment during single life.

1. Reframe Your Perspective on Being Single

Peyton emphasizes the importance of reframing what it means to be single. Instead of viewing singlehood as a waiting period for the "right" relationship, she suggests seeing it as an opportunity for personal growth and future possibilities.

"If you've fallen in love before, guess what? You get to fall in love again, which is like the most exciting, fun thing ever."
— Peyton Sartain [12:45]

She also highlights the duality of single life and relationships, acknowledging both their pros and cons, and encourages listeners to appreciate their single phase without comparing it to relationships.

2. Get Used to Being Selfish

Being single grants unparalleled personal autonomy. Peyton advises listeners to embrace selfishness in a healthy way by maintaining routines and making decisions that prioritize their well-being.

"You get to live your life however it is that you want to live your life."
— Peyton Sartain [25:10]

She shares her own struggles with balancing personal routines while in a relationship, underscoring the freedom that comes with singlehood.

3. Be Free

Freedom is a cornerstone of single life. Peyton encourages listeners to take advantage of their autonomy by engaging in spontaneous activities and exploring new experiences without the constraints of a relationship.

"Take advantage of your freedom and truly be free right now, because one day it might be over for you."
— Peyton Sartain [34:50]

She reminisces about her spontaneous Europe trip, illustrating the joys of unplanned adventures that single life affords.

4. Lean into Your Friendships

Singlehood is an ideal time to strengthen friendships. Peyton reflects on her experiences with friends like Iman, Laurel, Kimberly, and Kelsey, highlighting how these relationships provide joy and support without the complexities of romantic entanglements.

"There's truly nothing better than being in a group of single girls."
— Peyton Sartain [42:30]

She underscores the value of building strong, lasting friendships that can endure through different life stages.

5. Embrace Flirting

Flirting, Peyton notes, is a fun and empowering aspect of being single. It allows for playful interactions and enhances social skills without the obligations that come with being in a relationship.

"Flirting is so fun and so sexy. Do it. It's exciting."
— Peyton Sartain [48:15]

She contrasts this with her approach in relationships, where she refrains from flirting to maintain respect and commitment.

6. Prioritize Your Mental and Physical Health

Peyton stresses the significance of using singlehood to focus on personal health. She shares her own journey of establishing consistent fitness routines and healthy eating habits, which were easier to maintain without the compromises of a relationship.

"Take advantage of this time to get the most mentally and physically healthy that you can."
— Peyton Sartain [55:20]

She advocates for self-awareness and self-improvement as foundations for future relationships and personal happiness.

7. Prioritize Your Work and Finances

Singlehood offers the freedom to dedicate time and energy to career and financial growth. Peyton discusses how she maximized her work productivity and financial management during her single years, laying a solid foundation for her future.

"I tend to make a lot more money because I prioritize my job."
— Peyton Sartain [1:02:10]

She highlights the importance of financial independence and strategic planning as essential aspects of single life.

8. Live Alone if Possible

Living alone is presented as the peak of single freedom. Peyton encourages listeners to experience the independence of managing their own space, making personal decorations, and enjoying unparalleled privacy.

"Living alone is part of that or was part of my story for that."
— Peyton Sartain [1:10:40]

She shares her joy in decorating her own apartment without compromises, emphasizing the lessons learned through solitary living.

9. Go on Dates

Dating is not just about finding a partner but also about self-discovery and fun. Peyton advises approaching dates with an open mind, treating them as enjoyable experiences rather than high-stakes endeavors.

"Releasing the expectation maybe will make dates more fun for you."
— Peyton Sartain [1:18:25]

She suggests romanticizing the dating process to make it more enjoyable and less stressful, thereby enhancing the overall experience.

10. Do Not Settle

The final rule is a powerful reminder not to settle for less than one deserves. Peyton urges listeners to maintain high standards and hold out for relationships that truly fulfill them, rather than compromising out of loneliness or convenience.

"Do not sacrifice all these things that you've done for the first guy that comes around."
— Peyton Sartain [1:25:50]

She shares personal anecdotes about past relationships to illustrate the importance of waiting for the right match.

Frequently Asked Questions

Peyton concludes the episode by addressing common questions related to single life:

1. How do I deal with the loneliness that single life brings?
   Peyton explains that loneliness is manageable and even preferable to being in a detrimental relationship. She recommends enriching one's life with meaningful connections, both deep and superficial, to mitigate feelings of isolation.

2. I'm bored. What do I do with all my extra time?
   She encourages listeners to explore new hobbies, engage in community activities, and schedule enjoyable events to keep boredom at bay.

3. How do I deal with the idea that I'll never find love?
   Peyton emphasizes the power of mindset, suggesting that creating a fulfilling life attracts love naturally.

4. I hate dating, but I want to meet someone. Any advice?
   She advises reframing the dating experience to focus on enjoyment rather than obligation, making the process more appealing and less daunting.

5. How do you deal with the idea that your life is not unfolding according to the timelines you've set for yourself?
   Peyton debunks the notion of strict timelines, encouraging listeners to focus on their unique journeys and personal growth rather than societal expectations.

"Understand that everyone's timeline is different. You can't waste time looking at other people's timelines because it's just simply not yours."
— Peyton Sartain [1:35:00]

Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Peyton Sartain masterfully combines personal anecdotes with practical advice, creating a relatable and inspiring narrative for anyone navigating single life. Her emphasis on self-love, autonomy, and intentional living offers a fresh perspective on singlehood, transforming it from a transitional phase into a period of profound personal empowerment.

Listeners are left with actionable strategies and a renewed appreciation for the single girl era, encouraging them to embrace their individuality and build a fulfilling life independent of romantic relationships.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "If you've fallen in love before, guess what? You get to fall in love again, which is like the most exciting, fun thing ever." — Peyton Sartain [12:45]

• "You get to live your life however it is that you want to live your life." — Peyton Sartain [25:10]

• "Take advantage of your freedom and truly be free right now, because one day it might be over for you." — Peyton Sartain [34:50]

• "There's truly nothing better than being in a group of single girls." — Peyton Sartain [42:30]

• "Flirting is so fun and so sexy. Do it. It's exciting." — Peyton Sartain [48:15]

• "Take advantage of this time to get the most mentally and physically healthy that you can." — Peyton Sartain [55:20]

• "I tend to make a lot more money because I prioritize my job." — Peyton Sartain [1:02:10]

• "Living alone is part of that or was part of my story for that." — Peyton Sartain [1:10:40]

• "Releasing the expectation maybe will make dates more fun for you." — Peyton Sartain [1:18:25]

• "Do not sacrifice all these things that you've done for the first guy that comes around." — Peyton Sartain [1:25:50]

• "Understand that everyone's timeline is different. You can't waste time looking at other people's timelines because it's just simply not yours." — Peyton Sartain [1:35:00]

This episode serves as a valuable resource for individuals seeking to embrace their singlehood fully, offering a blend of heartfelt insights and practical advice to navigate this empowering phase of life.