Alizah Holstein writes about the complex echelons of academia in 'My Roman History'

Summary

NPR's Book of the Day: Summary of "My Roman History" by Eliza Holstein

Introduction

In the December 18, 2024 episode of NPR's Book of the Day, host Robin Young engages in a profound conversation with Eliza Holstein, the author of My Roman History. Holstein’s memoir delves into her intricate journey through the echelons of academia, examining both the triumphs and tribulations that ultimately led her to abandon her scholarly pursuits. The discussion offers insightful perspectives on the challenges faced by women in academic institutions, the significance of mentorship, and the arduous path from academia to a fulfilling alternative career.

Early Passion for Rome and Dante

Eliza Holstein’s fascination with Rome and Italian history was ignited during her teenage years. As Robin Young recounts, Holstein’s love for Rome was deeply influenced by Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy, a masterpiece that melds ancient and medieval history with rich symbolism.

“There was something about that text full of symbols and clues. You had to know Italian to really read it, which I didn't. So I started to study Italian,” Holstein explains (02:45). This passion led her to immerse herself in the study of medieval Italy, eventually propelling her toward Rome—both physically and academically.

Academic Journey and Challenges

Holstein pursued her academic ambitions at Cornell University, specializing in medieval Roman history. Her dedication saw her frequently traveling to Rome for immersive studies, where she delved into ancient documents and developed proficiency in Latin. Despite the rigors, she felt a profound connection to Rome, describing it as a place that felt “like home” and exuding a “sense of wonder” that inspired her deeply (04:42).

However, her academic pursuit was not without personal challenges. Holstein recounts a brief and complex relationship with a tenured professor at Cornell, which, in hindsight, highlighted the significant power dynamics at play (07:55). This relationship, though short-lived, had lasting repercussions on her academic trajectory, ultimately limiting her opportunities within the scholarly community.

Gender Bias and Mentorship in Academia

A pivotal theme in Holstein’s memoir is the pervasive gender bias within academia. She reflects on her naïveté regarding gender relations during her time in graduate school, believing that “the gender war was over” and that her work would be the sole determinant of her success (06:35). However, she discovered that structural obstacles continued to impede women in academic settings.

Holstein emphasizes the critical role of mentorship, a factor she had previously underestimated. Her lack of mentorship left her feeling isolated and unsupported, contributing to her eventual disenchantment with academia. She shares, “I realized too late I had become an orphan. I didn't have anyone who was really looking out for me,” highlighting the importance of guidance and support for emerging scholars (05:46).

Decision to Leave Academia

Faced with mounting challenges, including a saturated job market where only 25% of history PhDs secure tenure-track positions, Holstein made the difficult decision to leave academia (10:36). This shift led her to establish a children’s clothing company—a venture starkly different from her scholarly pursuits. The transition was emotionally taxing, culminating in a poignant moment in Rome where she grappled with feelings of loss and displacement (10:44).

Despite the initial loneliness and uncertainty, Holstein acknowledges that leaving academia was not a mistake but rather a redirection toward her true passion—writing. “If you had asked me when I was 9 years old what I was going to do with my life, I would not have said I was going to be a historian. I would have told you that I was going to be a writer,” she reflects (09:12). This realization underscores the notion that what may initially seem like a failure can lead to unforeseen and fulfilling avenues.

Reflections and New Directions

Holstein’s memoir has resonated deeply with many, particularly women in academia who identify with her experiences of structural barriers and the lack of mentorship. She shares her ongoing conversations with Caroline Bynum, the first woman appointed university professor at Columbia, who found striking similarities between Holstein’s graduate school experiences in the 1990s and her own in the 1960s (06:34). These dialogues have been invaluable in shedding light on the enduring challenges faced by women in scholarly fields.

Looking forward, Holstein is excited about exploring new projects, including work related to Machiavelli. This endeavor, though daunting, embodies her continued commitment to intellectual exploration and creative expression (12:18).

Conclusion

Eliza Holstein’s My Roman History offers a candid and compelling narrative of her academic journey, marked by passion, struggle, and resilience. Through her memoir, Holstein not only recounts her personal experiences but also illuminates broader issues within academia, particularly the systemic challenges faced by women. Her story is a testament to the importance of mentorship, the impact of structural biases, and the courage to pursue one's true passion despite obstacles. For anyone navigating the complexities of academic life or contemplating a significant career shift, Holstein’s insights provide both inspiration and valuable lessons.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “I lost something. I lost a career that I thought I was going to have. But I got the most beautiful outcome I got. I'm actually really lucky.” (02:14)
• “I didn't have anyone who was really looking out for me.” (05:46)
• “I was very naive about gender relations in college.” (06:35)
• “If you had asked me when I was 9 years old what I was going to do with my life, I would not have said I was going to be a historian. I would have told you that I was going to be a writer.” (09:12)

About "My Roman History"

Eliza Holstein's memoir, My Roman History, intricately weaves her personal narrative with her academic pursuits, offering readers an intimate look into the world of medieval Roman studies and the often-unseen challenges within academic institutions. Through her eloquent storytelling, Holstein invites readers to reflect on the nature of passion, the value of mentorship, and the courage it takes to redefine one's path.

Transcript

[Andrew Limbong]

Hey, it's NPR's Book of the Day. I'm Andrew Limbong. I don't know if you've ever undertaken a big academic research project, but if you haven't, it can be an intense experience. I mean, best case scenario, it ends up consuming so much of your life that you can't stop thinking about it. And I say that's the best case scenario because that means you've fallen into some sort of love, which with your subject. That's the impression I got from today's interview. It's with Eliza Holstein, author of the book My Roman History. It's a memoir of her academic journey and how certain things worked out, but also how certain things didn't. And in this interview with Here Now's Robin Young, Holstein talks about how she ended up rejecting academia altogether and what that says about women's positions in the ivory tower. That's ahead.

[Robin Young]

This message comes from Sony Pictures Classics with the Room Next Door, the the new film by Pedro Almodovar starring Julianne Moore and Tilda Swinton. After years go by, two friends meet again in an extreme but sweet situation, now playing in select theaters. Support for this podcast and the following message come from Autograph Collection hotels. With over 300 independent hotels around the world, each exactly like nothing else, Autograph Collection is part of the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio of hotel brands. Find the [e-mail] I met author Eliza.

Holstein on a panel at the Boston Book Festival about following your bliss. Most of the authors had done that beyond their wildest dreams, but at first glance, Aliza didn't seem to fit the bill. Oh, she seemed destined to be a scholar of ancient Roman history. As a teen, she fell in love with Rome through Dante's Divine Comedy, his tale written in the 1300s. Of traveling through the afterlife, Eliz traveled to Rome, climbing over ancient ruins, scouring archives. And then, to everyone's shock, she didn't achieve what she thought was her bliss. And I wasn't sure how to ask her about it. Do you still have trouble with that, with talking about this, the fact that it didn't end the way you thought?

[Eliza Holstein]

Yes and no. I mean, I lost something. I lost a career that I thought I was going to have. But I got the most beautiful outcome I got. I'm actually really lucky.

[Robin Young]

So what happened? Well, for one thing, maybe gender bias in academia. Eliza Holstein's memoir is My Roman History. Aliza, nice to speak with you again.

[Eliza Holstein]

It's wonderful to speak with you. Thank you, Robin.

[Robin Young]

So let's start at the beginning. The first line of your book is, the first place you ever wanted to go was Rome because of Dante. And a high school English teacher who introduced you to him. What was that lightning bolt?

[Eliza Holstein]

There was something about that text full of symbols and clues. You had to know Italian to really read it, which I didn't. So I started to study Italian. I got excited every time I learned about a person that Dante was referring to from ancient or medieval history. I started to get to know that world of medieval Italy through him. And that is what drew me to Rome. Dante, of course, is not from Rome, but. But the flights from Boston went to Rome.

[Robin Young]

Well, but this is what you decided. You're 17, and one night, your whole family's asleep, and you decide, I am going to Rome. You grab a knapsack, you are going to the airport in the middle of the night.

[Eliza Holstein]

I do.

[Robin Young]

You're going to go to Rome. And you're asking yourself, is this something that only happens in a movie? Gosh, can you really do this? Well, the answer would be no. You realize, oh, wait, I don't have a passport. And you go back home, the family's still asleep. But that right there says to me, well, of course this is all gonna work for her. And you did go the next year with a friend. What was Rome saying to you?

[Eliza Holstein]

The first time I landed, When I was 18, I had a very strong sensation of being in a place where I felt at home. I don't know that I've gotten any closer to understanding it, but I do better understand my own history. My father and his parents lived in Italy directly following World War II. When he came home back to the United States at 4 years old. My father spoke Italian better than he spoke English. But the other feeling that I have always experienced in Rome specifically is a sense of wonder. Even now with my kids, with my husband, I don't think I'm alone in that because. Because Rome is a city that inspires a sense of wonder. You have such a tangible sensation, visual, tactile, of the human past.

[Robin Young]

Well, you also may not be alone in what happened. I'm gonna really synopsize here. Cause you go to Cornell in Ithaca, New York. You're researching medieval Roman history for a PhD. You go back and forth to Rome for different kinds of immersive studies. You learn Latin, which seemed easier than breaking into the mostly male world of Acade, but it's so clear, you know, to me, the reader, like, wow, you share all this scholarship with us, and it just feels wow. This is what this person was meant to do. And then what's this? A brief relationship with an older professor at Cornell. Okay, let's file that for later. Again, you're back to Rome. You're now poring over ancient documents about ancient lives. You feel so isolated, you join a rock climbing group. Metaphor alert. You know, pulling yourself up like Dante through these circles of purgatory as you are to make your way into this circle of scholars. Did it still feel like this is what I'm going to be? I'm going to be a scholar of Medieval Roman history?

[Eliza Holstein]

It certainly did. And I realized too late I had become an orphan. I didn't have anyone who was really looking out for me. I had always assumed when I was in graduate school that the quality of my work would be what made the difference. As it turns out, mentorship is hugely important, and it was something that I underestimated.

[Robin Young]

I'm not sure those mentors would have been available in the way that was appropriate. I mean, you meet with a prominent Roman historian, you go to his home, he sits way too close to you, your knees touch. You come back to the US There is teaching, but contracts aren't renewed. Suddenly you're a mom with kids and the founder of a lovely children's clothing company.

[Eliza Holstein]

Well, that was my rejection of academia in a nutshell.

[Robin Young]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eliza Holstein]

But I do think I was very naive about gender relations in college. I essentially thought that the gender war was over, that women had achieved parody. It was my work that counted the most. One of the things that has come out of writing this book, which has been a real gift, has been the feedback of so many women in academia who have reached out to me to tell me, and some men, too, but mostly women who have reached out to tell me how deeply the story struck for them in the kind of structural obstacles that are against women in academia. And one of those was my college professor, Caroline Bynum, the first woman appointed university professor at Columbia. She said, it was striking to me, reading your book, that the conditions for you in graduate school in the 1990s and early 2000s was pretty much identical to my experiences in graduate school in the 1960s. And she and I are having a long conversation over months about mentorship of women in academia, which has been a real gift for me.

[Robin Young]

Well, do you wonder if some of the way you were treated had to do with the fact that you did have a relationship with a professor at Cornell?

[Eliza Holstein]

I'll never know. I have always worried that that was the case. I was 26 years old. I was pretty naive. Interestingly, after we broke up, he said that he was the real victim. He was a tenured professor. In retrospect, I can see the, you know, the power dynamic there that I could not perceive at the time. I know that my opportunities were limited by that relationship because I was becoming an Italian historian and he was an Italian historian. But because of that very brief relationship, he felt he could not be my advisor. So, yes, it distinctly did limit my possibilities.

[Robin Young]

I guess. You got your PhD but not a tenured position. When I asked you at the Boston Book Festival, is this tough for you to talk about? I had this discomfort. Cause I felt like, wait, this is a panel on following your bliss. And in your case, it seemed so clear to me. You almost got on a plane when you were 17 with your family asleep. It seemed you were so meant to do this, and then boom. But you said, actually, maybe you got redirected to your bliss.

[Eliza Holstein]

So that's the funny thing. If you had asked me when I was 9 years old what I was going to do with my life, I would not have said I was going to be a historian. I would have told you that I was going to be a writer. So in a way, my failure at becoming a historian has enabled me to become what I actually always wanted to be, which is a writer.

[Robin Young]

Yeah, you do belong. You did belong on that panel.

[Eliza Holstein]

I didn't know until I looked it up to research this book, that the early 2000s, there were more jobs than there were PhD candidates. We had heard about this big job crisis in the 1970s where historians had not been able to get jobs. And we sort of felt sorry for our professors and their cohorts because it had been so hard for them to find their positions, whereas for us, it was going to be easier. We didn't know, of course, that the financial crisis of 2008 was looming and the bottom fell out of history in general. But out of pre modern history, like you wouldn't believe. There were 450 people applying for every single position that has only worsened over the past 15 years. I am not alone. It may or may not have been that my personal choices were the only determining cause for what happened to me. Only 25% of history PhDs now end up with tenure track jobs.

[Robin Young]

Yeah. What would you say to someone who desperately thinks that something is their destiny? And maybe it's not?

[Eliza Holstein]

I think you can only put one foot in front of the other. I went and I started a baby gear company. It was as far from academia as I could get. It felt exciting and it felt different. When I went to a trade show, I knew I was not among my people. That was a very lonely experience. At the same time, I don't think it was a mistake to have done that because it led me to where I needed to go. One of the things that happened is when I turned 40, I went back to Rome for a wedding and spent five days in tears. I walked around the city crying. The doorman at the hotel I was staying at offered me a card and offered to give me his professional, like, consolation, you know, he was like, he said, please call me. My scarf was wet with tears because I felt I had lost this place that I had always thought was going to be part of my life.

[Robin Young]

Well, not only that. You're at a wedding, someone else. Everyone who's loving Rome in that moment is wedding your old love.

[Eliza Holstein]

Yes. Right, right. At the same time, that moment was such a gift. It was the most painful moment of my life, even perhaps. And yet it was such a gift because it brought me back to what really mattered.

[Robin Young]

Yeah. It's just a great story, if not the one I thought it was gonna be. Just like your life. Elisa Holstein the book is My Roman A Memoir. Are you working on another one?

[Eliza Holstein]

I'm excited about an idea. I'm just starting working on something related to Machiavelli that has got me both excited and scared, which makes me think it's a good project.

[Robin Young]

Yes. Thank you so much.

[Eliza Holstein]

Thank you, Robin.

[Robin Young]

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