Andy Corren's memoir 'Dirtbag Queen' expands on a viral tribute to his mother

Summary

NPR's Book of the Day: A Deep Dive into Andy Coren's Memoir Dirtbag Queen

Introduction

In the February 4, 2025 episode of NPR's Book of the Day, host Scott Simon explores Andy Coren's poignant and vibrant memoir, Dirtbag Queen. This in-depth conversation delves into Coren's tumultuous yet loving upbringing under the care of his magnetic mother, Renee Coren. The memoir serves as an expansion of the heartfelt obituary Andy penned for his mother in 2021, which captured widespread attention for its raw honesty and affection.

From Viral Obituary to Memoir

Andy Coren's journey to writing Dirtbag Queen began with a unique tribute—a viral obituary that resonated with many. In the episode, Coren explains how the memoir extends the sentiments expressed in that obituary, offering a more comprehensive look into his life and the indelible mark his mother left on him.

Andy Coren [01:27]: "A plus sized Jewish lady redneck died in El Paso on Saturday because she was my mother. The death of Zaftig good time gal Renee Coren at the impossible old age of 84 is newsworthy to me and I treat it with the same respect and reverence she had for, well, nothing a more disrespectful trash reading, talking and watching woman in North Carolina, Florida or Texas was not to be found."

An Exuberant Upbringing

Coren paints a vivid picture of his childhood, characterized by chaos, love, and unconventional parenting. Raised by Renee, who functioned as both mother and father, Andy and his siblings navigated their formative years with a sense of independence instilled by their mother's unique approach to parenting.

Andy Coren [02:40]: "We were her kids. We were as many children in this country are raised in our parents' image, she was both mother and father for us. We were taught to ask wrong questions, only shoot, ask after, and to raise ourselves."

Life in Fayetteville: Community and Resilience

The Coren family's relocation to Fayetteville, North Carolina, was influenced by Renee's military connections. Fayetteville, known for its vibrant community amidst the challenges of a red-light district, became the backdrop for much of Coren's upbringing.

Andy Coren [03:40]: "This book for me, the end result has been I've really healed my relationship with who I truly was in Fayetteville, which was a happy, relatively speaking, well-adjusted, talented, vivacious, vibrant, young gay kid."

BNB Lanes: The Heartbeat of Their Lives

BNB Lanes, a local bowling alley, served as more than just a recreational spot for the Coren family—it was the epicenter of their social life and community engagement. Renee's management of the bowling alley provided stability and resources, ensuring her children were well-fed and cared for despite the unconventional environment.

Andy Coren [04:40]: "We could really count on getting at least one hot square meal, a hot and a cot at the B and B lanes because we could always get the keys to the snack machines, a burger off of the snack bar or a nap in the nursery."

A Mother's Love Manifested in Daily Rituals

Renee's dedication to maintaining her appearance was a testament to her resilient spirit and desire to instill pride in her children. Her commitment to regular hair dyeing and manicures, even in her final days, left a lasting impression on Coren.

Andy Coren [05:39]: "The hallmark of surviving her existence was a little vanity goes a long way when you're a blue collar worker. And so regular scheduled hair dyeing sessions and weekly manicures. Even at the very end when she lay passing in an El Paso hospital, she went in with manicured peach nails."

Nights on Hay Street: Experiences in a Legendary District

The memoir vividly recounts late-night adventures on Hay Street, once Fayetteville's legendary red-light district. Delivering newspapers in this eclectic environment exposed Coren and his siblings to a diverse array of characters and experiences, shaping their worldview and resilience.

Andy Coren [06:35]: "Hay Street... was one of the most legendary red light districts in all of the world. Bars, billiard halls, strip clubs, fights, bikers, soldiers, farm boys, hogs, pickup trucks."

Reflections on Childhood: Balancing Humor and Hardship

Coren reflects on the duality of his upbringing—marked by both hardship and laughter. Raised by a mother with a comedic flair, he learned to find humor in adversity, a coping mechanism that set him apart from his siblings, some of whom chose to suppress their childhood memories as a trauma response.

Andy Coren [08:21]: "We laughed. We laughed while it all burned down around us. She just couldn't help but laugh at all the troubles many that she caused on her own... So was it hard? Of course it was hard. Many of my brothers have what I think is an appropriate trauma response. They've completely forgotten most of their childhood. But I didn't. I took notes and it was fun sometimes."

Conclusion: A Testament to Love and Resilience

Dirtbag Queen is more than a memoir; it's a tribute to a mother's unorthodox yet unwavering love and the indomitable spirit of a family bound by resilience and laughter. Through his storytelling, Coren offers readers a window into a world where chaos and care coexist, illustrating that love can thrive in the most unexpected places.

Scott Simon [09:06]: "Andy Coren's book Dirtbag Queen In Memory of My Mother. Thank you so much for being with us."

Andy Coren's Dirtbag Queen stands as a testament to the complexities of family, the power of storytelling, and the enduring legacy of a mother who lived life on her own terms. NPR's Book of the Day episode provides a compelling glimpse into this remarkable memoir, inviting listeners to explore the vibrant tapestry of Coren's life.

Transcript

[Andrew Limbong]

Hey, it's NPR's Book of the Day. I'm Andrew Limbong. There is a freedom in writing about someone after they've died, even if the subject's got the thickest of skin and can attest to being able to take any level of honesty. I think there's just a natural inclination from writers to hold back, if only a bit, which is what makes Teddy's book feel so fresh and lively. It's titled Dirtbag Queen by Andy Coren, and it's a memoir of Coren's life growing up with his exuberant mother. The book is actually an extension of the obituary Coren wrote for his mom back in 2021, which went viral. He told NPR Scott Simon that while his upbringing was wild and rowdy, he was cared for and loved just in ways that might look different than other families. That's coming up.

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[Scott Simon]

Now playing select cities December 15, 2021. An obituary appeared in the Fayetteville, North Carolina Observer.

[Andy Coren]

A plus sized Jewish lady redneck died in El Paso on Saturday because she was my mother. The death of Zaftig good time gal Renee Coren at the impossible old age of 84 is newsworthy to me and I treat it with the same respect and reverence she had for, well, nothing a more disrespectful trash reading, talking and watching woman in North Carolina, Florida or Texas was not to be found.

[Scott Simon]

Ah, nothing like a son's love, is there? Andy Corin, the performer and playwright has written a memoir of his mother, so colorful and pungent, I don't think we can ask him to read as much as a paragraph on the air. His book dirt Bag Queen. And Andy Corin joins us from Durham, North Carolina. Thanks so much for being with us.

[Andy Coren]

It's such a thrill to be with you, Scott. From one son of a showgirl to another son of a showgirl. We really cared for and loved by the best ladies in the biz.

[Scott Simon]

I absolutely agree with that. You refer to your siblings as I'm going to quote you again, Renee's little tribe of nose picking to the quick nail biting, change stealing, dirty minded no Good. And I'm dropping a few words. How, how so? What kind of kids were you?

[Andy Coren]

We were her kids. We were as many children in this country are raised in our parents image, she was both mother and father for us. We were taught to ask wrong questions, only shoot, ask after, and to raise ourselves. Because her version of mothering certainly didn't fit any conventional sense or word of mothering that we have come to appreciate and understand. Her version of mothering was put on a helmet. It's tough out there.

[Scott Simon]

Yeah. What brought Renee, and hence your family to Fayetteville, North Carolina? Because she told you she thought she would never end up there.

[Andy Coren]

I used to beg her, can we please move to Durham? I would just beg her every day.

[Scott Simon]

Glad we could oblige you today at least.

[Andy Coren]

Yes, please, can we just move to Durham? No. We ended up in Fayetteville like most people. Our car broke down. Just kidding. It was the army. It was the army. Most people end up in Fayetteville for one of three reasons. They just got out of jail, they just got out of the army, or their car broke down on the 95.

[Scott Simon]

Did you feel at home there?

[Andy Coren]

This book for me, the end result has been I've really healed my relationship with who I truly was in Fayetteville, which was a happy, relatively speaking, well adjusted, talented, vivacious, vibrant, young gay kid. And while growing up, the way we grew up was chaotic. It was my town, it was my people. And I'm so proud to be from Fayetteville. Just as proud as I am to have, of course, left it.

[Scott Simon]

Could you tell us about the days you helped your mother at a local bowling alley?

[Andy Coren]

Yes. We were raised by a woman who frequently worked three shifts. Some of those were legal jobs, some of them were not as above board. But BNB Lanes was the center of our life and BNB Lanes was an incredibly fun, almost like a community center. And it was really like an island of misfits.

[Scott Simon]

She saw to it that you and your brothers and sisters were well fed there, didn't she?

[Andy Coren]

We could really count on getting at least one hot square meal, a hot and a cot at the B and B lanes because we could always get the keys to the snack machines, a burger off of the snack bar or a nap in the nursery. And so we loved going to B and B lanes, you know, as kids, of course, who doesn't love being able to run free in the arcade? But because our mother ran the place and then more or less ran an after hours casino at the place, we were like, you know, the crime boss's kids. We were respected and feared, we ought to add.

[Scott Simon]

Renee, your mother was a voracious reader, wasn't she?

[Andy Coren]

Yes, she was. She was an indiscriminate and fast reader, I might add. I'm a good reader because of her, but I had never mastered how fast she could read a book a day and it was gone. We grew up really sharing story as our first primal love language.

[Scott Simon]

And she had gorgeous hands, didn't she?

[Andy Coren]

The hallmark of surviving her existence was a little vanity goes a long way when you're a blue collar worker. And so regular scheduled hair dyeing sessions and weekly manicures. Even at the very end when she lay passing in an El Paso hospital, she went in with manicured peach nails. And that's how she left this world.

[Scott Simon]

I know what you mean. When my mother was in her last days, one of the errands I had to run for her was to tell her manicure she wouldn't be in because she was going to die.

[Andy Coren]

The most important thing for her was getting Elva, who she used to go to weekly in her garage in El Paso, to come to the El Paso hospital and fix her hair.

[Scott Simon]

Could I get you to tell me about the nights you and your mother and siblings would spend in an area of town called Hay?

[Andy Coren]

Yes. Hay Street. As most people who came through and around Fayetteville throughout the 1960s, 70s and early 80s before it was demolished, was one of the most legendary red light districts in all of the world. Bars, billiard halls, strip clubs, fights, bikers, soldiers, farm boys, hogs, pickup trucks. And we delivered the papers there between 3 and 6am or so. Hay street has been long gone. It's been gone for over 40 years. But up until they really demolished the 500 block of Hay street, it really stood as an example for my mother that at least we had this going on in Fayetteville.

[Scott Simon]

I'm touched by the scene of how you and your mother and family would end the night in the pre dawn hours at the Shoney's Buffet. I mean, that's almost like the Waltons.

[Andy Coren]

I never wanted to leave the impression that my mother didn't love us or care for us or try her darndest to keep us together and keep a roof over our heads. Those roofs were leaky, those houses were shaky. Many of them were filled with bugs. We played whack a mole with utilities. We burned bowling pins for warmth. It was hard. But what wasn't ultimately hard was that we were together and delivering those papers. That's our third shift. We would end up at a Shoney's buffet and relive the whole night together. It was an exquisite and tender way to care for her kids in the only way that she could.

[Scott Simon]

And I do have to ask you, is your childhood more fun in the retelling than it was at the time?

[Andy Coren]

The truth is, and you know this son of Ernie, son of Pat, you know that when you're raised by a comedian, you take the sweet and you take the bitter, right? So we laughed. We laughed while it all burned down around us. She just couldn't help but laugh at all the troubles many that she caused on her own, but that wash ashore of a big broke single mother of six in the south in the 70s and 80s. So was it hard? Of course it was hard. Many of my brothers have what I think is an appropriate trauma response. They've completely forgotten most of their childhood. But I didn't. I took notes and it was fun sometimes.

[Scott Simon]

I'm so glad you did Andy Coren's book Dirtbag Queen In Memory of My Mother. Thank you so much for being with us.

[Andy Coren]

It is such a thrill to talk to you and to be on npr. Thank you so much Scott.

[Andrew Limbong]

And just a reminder that signing up for Book of the Day is a great way to support NPR's book coverage and public media. And you'll get to listen to every episode split sponsor free. So please go find out [e-mail] BookOfTheDay.

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