'Fatherhood' traces a history of masculinity, from Aristotle to Sigmund Freud

Summary

NPR's Book of the Day: 'Fatherhood' by Augustine Sedgwick

Episode Release Date: June 23, 2025

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Introduction

In this insightful episode of NPR's Book of the Day, host Andrew Limbong delves into Augustine Sedgwick's compelling exploration of fatherhood through his book, Fatherhood. Sedgwick navigates the intricate history of masculinity, tracing its evolution from ancient philosophers like Aristotle to modern thinkers such as Sigmund Freud. The discussion highlights the shifting roles and expectations of fathers over time, emphasizing the parallels between the challenges faced by men and women in parenting.

Augustine Sedgwick's Motivation and Personal Story

Sedgwick begins by sharing his personal impetus for writing Fatherhood. He reflects on the profound influence of his own father, who was a steady and supportive presence until a stroke dramatically altered his personality. This personal upheaval coincided with the birth of Sedgwick's son in 2017, a period marked by societal shifts and significant cultural moments, such as the widespread coverage of Bill Cosby's mistrial and the changing public persona of figures like Donald Trump, who openly discussed fatherhood in unconventional ways.

"America's dad. But not long before that, you know, Trump had been inaugurated and he had boasted of never having changed a diaper, but also how much he loved it when his adult daughter called him daddy..." [02:28]

Historical Perspectives on Fatherhood

Sedgwick explores fatherhood through the lens of history, examining how prominent figures have embodied and redefined paternal roles. He references Aristotle and Plato, highlighting their early debates on the nature of fatherhood during Athens's democratic crises.

"At a moment of crisis for Athens and its democracy, Plato and Aristotle had what I think is probably the first recorded debate about what it means to be a father..." [03:17]

Plato advocated for the abolition of the traditional patriarchal family in favor of a unified societal family, while Aristotle opposed this, arguing for policies that would strengthen fatherhood and reinforce paternal authority both at home and in society.

Changing Roles and Expectations of Fathers

Sedgwick discusses the transformation of fatherhood, particularly in the mid-20th century during the Cold War era. This period saw the emergence of the "new dad"—not only a provider and protector but also an involved friend who actively participates in children's lives through activities like playing sports.

"...the dad is a really novel figure who is not only a protector and a provider, but also a friend, someone who comes home after work and plays with his kids and goes to Little League..." [04:47]

However, this idealized image also introduced unrealistic standards for fathers, adding pressure to fulfill both traditional and evolving roles.

Parallels Between Fatherhood and Motherhood

A significant portion of the discussion highlights the similarities between the challenges faced by fathers and mothers. Sedgwick posits that both genders contend with conflicting demands and impossible standards, though society has historically been more open in discussing the struggles of mothers.

"I think women also do. They're just much better at talking about it..." [05:37]

He draws parallels to the feminist movement, noting how second-wave feminism addressed the socially constructed roles of women, suggesting that a similar introspection could benefit men in redefining fatherhood.

Personal Reflections and Insights from the Author

Sedgwick candidly shares his own journey in redefining his role as a father. Initially frustrated with his inability to connect with his son on the terms his son desired—such as being funny and affectionate—Sedgwick realized the importance of embracing a more emotionally available and nurturing paternal identity.

"...he told me that a father should be funny and good at hugging. And I have to be honest with you, at first I was disappointed by that answer, too, because I love this answer." [07:17]

This revelation underscored the transformative power of listening to and valuing the perspectives of their children, encouraging fathers to adapt and grow beyond traditional stereotypes.

"Listen to what the people you love are asking you to do and allow yourself to be loved in that way. I think that'd be really transformative for me and for men more generally." [07:58]

Conclusion and Key Takeaways

Augustine Sedgwick's Fatherhood offers a profound examination of the evolving concept of fatherhood, intertwining historical analysis with personal narrative. The episode underscores the necessity for society to rethink and redefine paternal roles to better align with contemporary family dynamics and individual well-being. Sedgwick advocates for a more empathetic and flexible approach to fatherhood, one that embraces emotional connections and adapts to the changing societal landscape.

By drawing parallels between historical figures and modern-day fathers, Sedgwick effectively illustrates the persistent challenges and opportunities in paternal roles. His insights encourage both men and society at large to engage in meaningful conversations about the expectations and realities of being a father today.

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Note: All quotes are attributed to Augustine Sedgwick and are timestamped according to the podcast transcript provided.

Transcript

[Andrew Limbong]

Hey, it's NPR's Book of the Day. I'm Andrew Limbong. Often when famous people who happen to be moms get interviewed, they get asked, oh, how do you juggle, you know, doing this, like being a famous person in Hollywood or being on tour doing music or whatever and being a parent, which honestly I think is a fair question. But what's unfair is that famous people who happen to be fathers aren't as often asked about being a parent. We don't automatically assume fathers fatherhood as part of their identity. This past Father's Day weekend, npr, Steve Inskeep spoke with a writer trying to change that. Augustine Sedgwick wrote a book titled Fatherhood, which uses some of the great figures in history, Aristotle, Henry viii, Sigmund Freud, to examine the changing shape of fatherhood. And he says that many of the issues fathers face are similar to what mothers face, conflicting demands, impossible standards. Mothers are just better at talking about it. That's up ahead.

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[Interviewer]

Father's Day weekend, fathers can reflect on how we do the job. Writer Augustine Sedgwick studied fathers in history, like England's Henry viii, who went to extremes to father a male heir, or founding father Thomas Jefferson, who fathered children both free and enslaved. Sedgwick says the idea of fathers as providers or the men in charge has changed over time. His book is his fatherhood. And I asked what got him thinking about it.

[Augustine Sedgwick]

My father was just so present all of my life. He was solid and forthright and a source of really good advice and, you know, crisp 20s when needed. And right not long before my own son was born, my father had a stroke that really changed his personality. And my son was born in the summer of 2017, which was kind of a tough moment for men and fatherhood. I mean, when we got to the hospital, Bill Cosby's mistrial was on every TV in the maternity ward.

[Interviewer]

Wow.

[Augustine Sedgwick]

You know, America's dad. But not long before that, you know, Trump had been inaugurated and he had boasted of never having changed a diaper, but also how much he loved it when his adult daughter called him daddy and so I couldn't help thinking at that moment that the fathers I had grown up with no longer existed in the way that I had known them. And I wanted to find a way to care for my son. That felt good and sustainable for both of us. You know, that's not really the type of question that is addressed by parenting books, even the most helpful ones.

[Interviewer]

You describe a number of figures in history, famous figures in history, and talk about them in terms of fatherhood. I never thought of Aristotle or Plato as fathers. What's going on there?

[Augustine Sedgwick]

At a moment of crisis for Athens and its democracy, Plato and Aristotle had what I think is probably the first recorded debate about what it means to be a father. So both of them agreed that because these crises were plaguing Athens, fatherhood needed to be redefined. Plato, in the Republic, proposed a kind of thought experiment where the patriarchal family would be abolished and everyone would come to think of themselves as one family the size of the state. His student Aristotle profoundly disagreed, and he thought fatherhood needed to be strengthened by policies that would help fathers identify with their children and reclaim their positions of power and authority, both in the household and beyond it.

[Interviewer]

I'm interested in hearing you talk because this is one of many examples in the book where we're talking about a family, a family unit, but we end up also talking about the state or the country, the organization or the whole society.

[Augustine Sedgwick]

Across time, fatherhood has been created as this kind of godlike paternal mandate to protect and provide. What's interesting about that is that men, of course, are not gods. Therefore, men, time and time again, find themselves in crises of masculinity, of fatherhood, because they have defined those ideas in terms that are effectively impossible to completely guarantee and fulfill.

[Interviewer]

What was the common definition of fatherhood in the United states in the mid 20th century, say, a couple generations ago?

[Augustine Sedgwick]

In the Cold War context, the idea of fatherhood shifts. This is the moment when the dad emerges on the scene. And the dad is a really novel figure who is not only a protector and a provider, but also a friend, someone who comes home after work and plays with his kids and goes to Little League and, you know, is a force of kind of positivity and happiness in the household. And. But it also kind of adds to the, I want to say, impossible standards that have been built into this idea of fatherhood for reasons that are related to the family, but also related to society and the state more generally.

[Interviewer]

I'm interested in hearing you say that because it's often said that women face impossible standards and conflicting demands of work and home and everything else. You're telling me that men do that fathers do?

[Augustine Sedgwick]

Absolutely. I think women also do. They're just much better at talking about it. I mean, the founders of second wave feminism, especially Simone de Beauvoir, were very clear about the idea that motherhood and womanhood had been, quote, unquote, man made, that they had been invented, they had changed over time, and they had constrained women in certain ways. I think men would make their lives better if we could understand that fatherhood had been invented and that it had changed over time and that it could be remade again. I think men would do themselves a favor, but men have been much slower to kind of pick up the thread of that inquiry and to look at, well, where did this idea come from? How has it changed? And how might its history help us understand where we could go next?

[Interviewer]

Has your exploration of all that history changed your day to day fathering?

[Augustine Sedgwick]

I certainly started the book because I wanted to find a way to connect with my father and I wanted to find a way to care for my son. That felt good to us. I was finishing the book. I actually felt frustrated that I hadn't found what I was looking for. And around that time I was walking with my son. I thought for the first time to ask him what he thought a father should be. And without missing a beat, he told me that a father should be funny and good at hugging. And I have to be honest with you, at first I was disappointed by that answer, too, because I love this answer.

[Interviewer]

Please continue.

[Augustine Sedgwick]

I thought he was talking about his mother, who is genuinely both of those things. And it was only after thinking about it for, I'm embarrassed to say, a couple weeks that I realized that I just hadn't learned to think of myself as a man and as a father in those terms.

[Interviewer]

You studied Sigmund Freud and Henry viii and what you really needed to be doing was reading books of knock, knock jokes.

[Augustine Sedgwick]

You know, father doesn't always know best. Father should maybe just listen to.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, just listen to the kids, see what comes out. They're not always right, but they're ruthlessly honest, that's for sure.

[Augustine Sedgwick]

Listen to what the people you love are asking you to do and allow yourself to be loved in that way. I think that'd be really transformative for me and for men more generally.

[Interviewer]

Augustine Sedgwick is the author of A History of Love and Power. Thanks so much.

[Augustine Sedgwick]

Thank you.

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