In 'All Fours,' Miranda July tackles love, sex and reinvention in middle age

Summary

NPR's Book of the Day: Summary of "All Fours" by Miranda July

Introduction

In the January 2, 2025 episode of NPR's Book of the Day, host Andrew Limbong delves into Miranda July's latest work, All Fours. This episode offers an in-depth exploration of the book's themes, including love, sex, aging, and reinvention in middle age. Through a thoughtful conversation with Miranda July, listeners gain valuable insights into the complexities of navigating midlife transitions.

Overview of "All Fours"

Miranda July provides a vivid depiction of the protagonist, a 45-year-old woman embarking on a transformative journey. As July describes, the main character "decides to go on a kind of vision quest road trip, driving from LA to New York, says goodbye to her husband and child, sets out and stops about 20 minutes from her house and checks into a motel and spends the three weeks that she's supposed to be in New York there. And when she goes home from this supposed road trip, she doesn't fit back into her life in the same way" (00:09). This narrative sets the stage for an exploration of self-discovery and the challenges of reinvention.

Key Themes: Sex, Desire, Aging, and Domesticity

All Fours intricately examines the interplay between sex, desire, aging, and domestic life. Miranda July articulates that these elements are central to understanding the protagonist's journey. The conversation touches on how societal expectations often confine women to predefined roles, particularly after marriage and motherhood.

Perimenopause and the Biology of Love

In her interview with NPR's Brittany Luce, Miranda July delves into the biological aspects of love and desire, especially during perimenopause. July poignantly states, "Every love story is a hormone story" (02:03), highlighting how hormonal changes significantly impact romantic relationships. She questions, "What does love look like when your hormones are in transition?" (02:03), inviting readers to consider the nuanced ways in which midlife changes influence emotional and physical connections.

Reimagining Middle Age

A significant portion of the discussion focuses on reimagining middle age beyond societal stereotypes. Miranda July reflects on the lack of imaginative narratives for women in midlife, contrasting it with the abundant imagery surrounding youth. She observes, "After a woman gets married and has kids, it seems like in a cultural sense, nothing else will happen to her" (02:10), critiquing the limited storytelling surrounding post-motherhood life.

July emphasizes the importance of acknowledging both the joys and the losses that come with aging. She shares, "I'm here for the body experience. Also the body experience... And that's desire and that's lust, but that's also loss" (07:11). This duality captures the essence of embracing one's evolving identity while navigating the inevitable changes that accompany midlife.

Insights from Conversations and Research

Through interviews with middle-aged women, doctors, and researchers, Miranda July uncovers a wealth of experiences and perspectives. She recounts a pivotal moment when a woman in her sixties articulated, "I'm here for the body experience. And part of that is loss. And so I want it all" (05:36). This statement encapsulates the yearning for a full, rich experience of life despite the challenges of aging.

July also reflects on the transformative power of open conversations about menopause and perimenopause. She notes, "Some monster evaporated through knowledge and in its place was just this kind of high feeling" (05:36), illustrating how understanding and dialogue can alleviate fears and empower individuals during significant life transitions.

Conclusion

Miranda July's All Fours offers a poignant and honest exploration of middle age, challenging societal narratives and providing a fresh perspective on love, desire, and self-reinvention. NPR's Book of the Day episode effectively captures the essence of July's work, presenting key themes and insights that resonate with anyone navigating the complexities of midlife. Through rich storytelling and thoughtful discussion, listeners are encouraged to embrace the transformative journey of aging with authenticity and courage.

Notable Quotes

• Miranda July on the protagonist's journey: "[She]... doesn't fit back into her life in the same way" (00:09).
• On love and hormones: "Every love story is a hormone story" (02:03).
• Reflecting on societal expectations: "After a woman gets married and has kids, it seems like in a cultural sense, nothing else will happen to her" (02:10).
• Embracing the body experience: "I'm here for the body experience. Also the body experience... And that's desire and that's lust, but that's also loss" (07:11).

Timestamp Key

• 00:09: Initial description of the main character's journey.
• 02:03: Discussion on hormones and love.
• 02:10: Cultural perceptions of women post-motherhood.
• 05:36: Insights from interviews about aging and loss.
• 07:11: Embracing the complexities of the body experience.

Note: The timestamps correspond to the points in the transcript where the quotes are mentioned.

Transcript

[Andrew Limbong]

Hey, it's NPR's Book of the Day. I'm Andrew Limbong. Here's how Miranda July describes the main character of her book, all fours.

[Miranda July]

She's 45. She decides to go on a kind of vision quest road trip, driving from LA to New York, says goodbye to her husband and child, sets out and stops about 20 minutes from her house and checks into a motel and spends the three weeks that she's supposed to be in New York there. And when she goes home from this supposed road trip, she doesn't fit back into her life in the same way.

[Andrew Limbong]

Sex, desire, aging and domesticity are the things she's examining with this book. She did this interview with NPR's Brittany Luz from It's Been a Minute. And they got to talking about perimenopause and romance and biology. And Miranda Jolis says every love story is a hormone story. And so what does love look like when your hormones are in transition? Find out after the break.

[Brittany Luce]

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[Unnamed Interviewer]

We're here to talk about your new book, All Fours. And a lot of the book is reckoning with a cultural lack of imagination around women in the middle of their lives. And our society has so much imagination for what being young looks like. And you even say that youth is so heavily marketed to us to the point that some of us end up disappointed by our youth not looking the way we're told they would.

[Miranda July]

Right.

[Unnamed Interviewer]

But after a woman gets married and has kids, it seems like in a cultural sense, nothing else will happen to her.

[Miranda July]

Yeah. It's kind of the end of the story. Right. Like, there, you did it.

[Brittany Luce]

Yeah.

[Miranda July]

Good job.

[Unnamed Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Miranda July]

You're done.

[Unnamed Interviewer]

It's like you check all the boxes and you're done. What kind of guidance were you hoping for for middle age?

[Miranda July]

Right. As you said, like, the road ahead just seemed to drop off like a cliff. Not only was I having trouble finding, like, basic medical facts about my changing body, all the aspirational imagery. Yeah. And stories, they just stopped as if what was coming was just too humiliating to even talk about. But meanwhile, among my friends, there was this kind of feverish whisper network about our bodies and our marriages and our desires. And that was complex and exciting. The stakes felt so high, but I knew I wasn't alone. The life going forward might actually be so undescribed that it's kind of a miracle.

[Unnamed Interviewer]

That's such an interesting way to think about it. Like a miracle, like faith in things not seen. On the topic of keeping things the same and change, there's a quote I really, really liked where the main character is describing a way in which, you know, she's not keen to change. And she said, like, I also don't love getting in pools, by the way, Sunday nights, packing for trips. Any transition, whatever state I'm in, I just want to stay in it. If that's not too much to ask, I wonder, can you talk more about that theme of becoming new?

[Miranda July]

Right. This book takes place in a transitional time. I mean, quite literally. Like, perimenopause is a big, huge biological time of transition. If you think of puberty, we know that biological things are happening, but we never just think of those things. We think romance, like every song on the radio in some ways is about that time or about this certain kind of love. And I remember thinking, oh, every love story is a hormone story. And so what is the love story for this time of transition? What is this hormone story of perimenopause? And to know that you don't just need to know the facts from your doctor, which would be nice, we would appreciate that. But also, what is the story? In what way are you supposed to fall in love during this time? Because it's a wild time. Some part of yourself is going to come out that has perhaps been starved before. And this moment when all your hormones are in transition, you're meant now to be sort of jumbled around enough inside that that blind spot comes forward and it's hungry.

[Unnamed Interviewer]

For this book, you talk to loads of people, middle aged women, women who have been middle aged, and doctors and researchers about menopause. Were there any particular ideas that felt really sticky to you around how you could reimagine middle age? Like anything that anybody said to you that kind of launched you into a certain direction or certain path?

[Miranda July]

Well, it was always interesting because you're kind of worried when you, like, get on the phone to do an interview about perimenopause and menopause with, like, let's say, a woman in her 60s or 70s. And I was just so struck by the riches I was getting like, I started to feel like I was sitting on this gold mine. And I just wanted everyone to know, like, this is all really weird and alive. Not to say it's easy, but then there isn't really an easy part of life, right? The thing that makes it easy is these conversations easier. And it was kind of like some monster evaporated through knowledge and in its place was just this kind of high feeling. I remember one woman described to me some, some like, sad things about aging. And I nervously said, how bad is it? Is it unendurable? And she said, I'm here for the body experience. And part of that is loss. And so I want it all. And the way she said it was just so true. I was like, right, I'm here for the body experience. Also the body experience.

[Unnamed Interviewer]

Ooh, that's a good one.

[Miranda July]

And that's desire and that's lust, but that's also loss. And I realized, like, oh, the loss is mine, too. Like, I get to write with that. I get to love with it in my relationships. Like, it's not like a dead, empty, embarrassing thing. It's alive, too. It's power, too.

[Unnamed Interviewer]

Well, Miranda, I really appreciate this conversation.

[Miranda July]

Me, too. Thank you.

[Andrew Limbong]

That was NPR's Brittany Luce speaking with Miranda July about her book All Fours. And that's it for today. Talk to you tomorrow.

[Brittany Luce]

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