Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig reflect on 'The L Word' in memoir 'So Gay For You'

Summary

NPR's Book of the Day: Reflecting on 'The L Word' with Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig

Episode Title: Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig reflect on 'The L Word' in memoir 'So Gay For You'
Release Date: June 18, 2025
Host: NPR's Andrew Limbong

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of NPR's Book of the Day, host Andrew Limbong welcomes Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig, beloved stars of the groundbreaking TV series The L Word. The duo discusses their newly released memoir, So Gay For You, which delves into their experiences on the show and its cultural impact. [00:02]

The Enduring Legacy of 'The L Word'

Andrew Limbong sets the stage by highlighting the early 2000s TV landscape, noting the scarcity of queer female representation. The L Word emerged as a pivotal series that not only entertained but also introduced queer culture to a broader audience. Limbong remarks, "That show was an important cultural phenomenon and you can see its fingerprints all over television today." [00:02]

Origin Story and On-Set Chemistry

Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig share the unique story of how their friendship began during the casting process for The L Word. Both actresses auditioned for the role of Shane, leading to an immediate and lasting connection. Hailey reflects, "It's shocking to people, including myself, that I was up for that part because I can't imagine it being played by anyone but Kate." [03:56]

Evolution of Queer Representation in Media

The conversation transitions to the evolution of queer representation since The L Word. Hailey observes, "If you think of just like a power lesbian... it was very corporate. It was career-driven... Now, the idea of a power lesbian would be more inclusive and more fluid." Kate adds, "One thing the show did back then was break clichés," highlighting how their characters defied stereotypical portrayals. [04:34] [05:16]

Revisiting 'The L Word' Characters

When asked about the possibility of reprising their iconic roles, both Hailey and Minennig express uncertainty. Hailey states, "We never say never, but we don't own the brand or the IP or have any say in it," while Minennig humorously speculates, "Maybe in 20 years they're gonna wanna do L Word: Hospice Care." [05:48] [05:57]

Reflections on Inclusive Representation

Hailey candidly addresses some of the less progressive aspects of The L Word, particularly its handling of bisexual and transgender characters. She shares, "I feel both proud and ashamed... there were times where Shane and Alice would completely be dismissive to Max, as though he didn't exist." This introspection underscores the complexities of representation during that era. [06:19] [07:42]

Friendship Between Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig

A significant portion of the memoir and their discussion focuses on the enduring friendship between Hailey and Minennig. They explain the origin of their podcast, Pants with Kate and Leisha, a name inspired by their bond likened to a pair of pants—inseparable and essential. Minennig shares, "It's like a pair of pants. You can't have one leg without the other," emphasizing the foundation of their relationship. [07:54] [08:35]

Maintaining a Decades-Long Friendship

The hosts delve into the keys to sustaining their long-term friendship. Minennig highlights the importance of consistency, stating, "Without it, things can die on the vine." Hailey adds the value of vulnerability, noting, "I've learned to be more vulnerable with Kate... sometimes friendships take more work." Their mutual support serves as a testament to their strong bond. [08:56] [09:10]

Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, Hailey and Minennig express gratitude for their experiences on The L Word and the opportunity to share their stories through their memoir. The conversation offers listeners a heartfelt glimpse into the challenges and triumphs of portraying queer women on television and maintaining meaningful friendships beyond the screen. [09:47]

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Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Limbong [00:02]: "That show was an important cultural phenomenon and you can see its fingerprints all over television today."

• Leisha Hailey [03:56]: "It's shocking to people, including myself, that I was up for that part because I can't imagine it being played by anyone but Kate."

• Leisha Hailey [04:34]: "If you think of just like a power lesbian... it was very corporate. It was career-driven..."

• Kate Minig [05:16]: "One thing the show did back then was break clichés."

• Leisha Hailey [06:19]: "I feel both proud and ashamed... there were times where Shane and Alice would completely be dismissive to Max, as though he didn't exist."

• Kate Minig [07:54]: "It's like a pair of pants. You can't have one leg without the other."

• Kate Minig [08:56]: "Without it, things can die on the vine."

• Leisha Hailey [09:10]: "I've learned to be more vulnerable with Kate... sometimes friendships take more work."

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About the Book: So Gay For You

So Gay For You is a memoir by Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig that explores their journey on The L Word, the significance of the show in queer representation, and the deep-rooted friendship that blossomed amidst the demands of fame and creative expression. The book offers an intimate look at the highs and lows of their careers and personal lives, providing fans and new readers alike with a compelling narrative of love, identity, and resilience.

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For more insights and to listen to the full episode, visit NPR's Book of the Day.

Transcript

[Andrew Limbong]

Hey, it's NPR's Book of the Day. I'm Andrew Limbong. There were a batch of TV shows in the early 2000s that had to do two one, be entertaining and also two introduce queer culture to a sheltered, closeted America. I'm talking about Will and Grace, queerest folk, queer after the straight guy. Still, there weren't many shows specifically focused on queer women. But then came the L word on Showtime. That show was an important cultural phenomenon and you can see its fingerprints all over television today. Leisha Haley and Kate Minig were two stars of the L Word, and they've got a new memoir out about their time on the show titled so Gay for your. And they spoke to NPR's Wanna Summers about not just what they loved about the show, but also some of their regrets. That's ahead.

[Wanna Summers]

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[Unknown Host]

By the early 2000s, only a handful of queer female characters had ever been featured on television. So just imagine the buzz when the L word premiered in 2004.

[Leisha Haley]

Okay, Melanie slept with Heather. Okay. Heather slept with Brooke.

[Kate Minig]

Heather slept with Brooke.

[Leisha Haley]

Yes. Brooke slept with Nina. And I slept with Nina.

[Wanna Summers]

See that?

[Kate Minig]

Whoa.

[Wanna Summers]

Yeah.

[Leisha Haley]

So four. That is how many people takes to.

[Unknown Host]

Link you to me over six seasons. In a 2019 reboot, the L Word explored lesbian identity, friendship and sex with nuance, humor, and a whole bunch of drama. Leisha Haley and Kate Menig starred in the L Word as Alice and Shane, and they are the authors of a new memoir. It's called so Gay for Friendship, Found Family, and and the show that started it all. Leisha Kate, welcome to All Things Considered.

[Kate Minig]

Oh, goodness. Thank you for having us.

[Leisha Haley]

Thank you so much for having us. We're thrilled to be here.

[Unknown Host]

I gotta just start off by saying that you have lit up several of my group chats who are just so excited to have this conversation. I mean, the L Word for so many of us was a show that we found community around, we found family around, and even so many years removed. That seems to be the case now. What do you think it is about the L Word, the. That has been so enduring for so many people?

[Kate Minig]

Isn't that wild? It's still connecting and it still means.

[Leisha Haley]

Something to us to talk about. Right.

[Kate Minig]

Yeah. Maybe it's because nothing has ever filled its place and you'd think it would after all this time, but nothing had.

[Leisha Haley]

It also was about the friendships and I think that surprised a lot of people. Like a lot of straight people watched the show as well, because that's what they identified with also.

[Kate Minig]

It was the first.

[Leisha Haley]

Yeah, you can't meet the first of anything.

[Kate Minig]

And that certainly might add to it.

[Unknown Host]

I want to start by talking a little bit about your origin story. You guys met in the casting process for the show. You were both up for the same part to play the character Shane, which Kate ended up portraying. And there's this sort of immediate magnetism between the two of you that you describe in the book. I'll let you pick up the story from here.

[Leisha Haley]

Well, that is a true story. We were both. It was actually the last phase of the audition process.

[Kate Minig]

We were the only two.

[Leisha Haley]

And it's shocking to people, including myself, that I was up for that part because I can't imagine it being played by anyone but Kate.

[Kate Minig]

Maybe in a Black Mirror episode, it's gonna switch where you can. And then maybe I play a version of Alice.

[Leisha Haley]

Oh, never thought of that.

[Unknown Host]

It took a long time before there was another show quite like this. And I wonder if you feel like when you look at our films, our media, or even our music to some degree, if there's a more well rounded representation of K. I felt like it was quite one note in the pre L Word era, at least in my opinion.

[Leisha Haley]

Yeah, I mean, I think like if you think of just like a power lesbian. Let's just talk about that for a second. It was very corporate. It was career driven, like the suits. And it just felt like. I'm not gonna say one note, but it was like, oh, a woman who walks in and knows what she wants. And now I feel like the idea of a power lesbian would be more inclusive and more fluid. And I feel like queer characters are more well rounded. I just don't think we have reached the goal yet where we have enough queer characters on television, so we're always left with these crumbs. And we're supposed to be so happy every time we see one. And of course we are, but I just think there's so much work to be done.

[Kate Minig]

One thing the show did back then was break cliches. And I can speak for Shane as an example. No one really understood what that character was until she landed on screen, and then it started to make sense. And I think that's because she's an example of breaking a cliche. Like, if you're boyish or if you sort of lean more masculine, less feminine, you're considered butch. It's like. Well, that's not necessarily true.

[Leisha Haley]

It was very binary back then.

[Kate Minig]

Binary.

[Leisha Haley]

And now I think there's more of.

[Kate Minig]

Like, this beautiful arch of where you can fall in that.

[Unknown Host]

I mean, I do have to ask you, do you think you'd ever revisit those characters again? I know, of course there was the Generation Q reboot, but will we ever see an Alice or a Shane?

[Leisha Haley]

Well, we never say never, but we don't own the brand or the IP or we have no say in it.

[Kate Minig]

Who knows? I mean, we had a reboot one time. Maybe in 20 years they're gonna wanna do L Word, hospice care. It's. You never know.

[Unknown Host]

When I started reading the book, I took the opportunity to rewatch some of the episodes of the show, which I've done from time to time over the years. Oh.

[Leisha Haley]

Oh, no.

[Kate Minig]

Oh, no.

[Unknown Host]

And there's so much in it that I love, but there are also some other parts that don't stand the test of time as well. And, Alicia, you wrote about the way that the show mirrored the cultural attitudes at the time towards bisexuality and the way that the show understood the gender spectrum was also pretty fraught. And you've said that some scenes in the way that trans and non binary people were treated fill you with shame. Can you talk a little bit about that?

[Leisha Haley]

Yeah, I mean, I don't take responsibility for the lines I had to say or some of the scenes. We all had to act because I would say all of us said things that were offensive, but I don't like that I was a part of that. I can't change where we were at the time. The writers were only using the language they had at the time. I do think, however, we were the first show to put those kinds of people on screen. So I'm both proud and ashamed at the same time. It depends which scene we're talking about. I know there were times where even Shane and Alice would completely be dismissive to Max, the character, as though he didn't exist or what he was trying to say didn't matter. It's that sort of ghosting in a way of someone's identity.

[Unknown Host]

I wanna circle back to where we started, which is talking about your friendship. I know that the two of you also have a podcast that is rooted in your friendship. It's called Pants with Kate and Leisha. Can you just tell us about the name?

[Kate Minig]

Well, Pants came from Mia Kershner, who played Jenny, because Leisha and I were like two glue sticks stuck together. And one day Mia saw us and she had a light bulb go off and she said, oh, look, it's pants. And we said, what does that mean? She's like, you're like a pair of pants. You can't have one leg without the other. And we thought initially it was an insult. And then when we actually had the image in our head, we're like, actually, no, that makes sense. Cut to 15, 20 years later. And this podcast idea came to us and we had to come up with a name. And Leisha goes, remember Pants? I was like, there's. That's it. That's the answer.

[Unknown Host]

Just listening to the two of you talk about your friendship, I love that there's this magic between the two of you, but you have made it so clear that it's not always some sort of fairytale and that maintaining a decades long friendship takes work. I wonder if you could just tell us maybe one thing from each of you. What's the key to making it work for all these years?

[Kate Minig]

I use the word consistency a lot because I think without it, things can die on the vine. Especially when it's a friendship and especially as you get older and you have different responsibilities than you did when you were in your 20s.

[Leisha Haley]

I think also I've learned to be more vulnerable with Kate. We put so much concentration on, you know, significant others or home life. But sometimes friendships take more work.

[Kate Minig]

And also friendships are the perfect medicine. Sometimes it's just. It is like there are times where, like sometimes I just maybe just I'm having a day, whatever kind of day that is, and nothing's really scratching that itch. And then you and I will hop on the phone and it's the perfect antidote. And now I move on.

[Unknown Host]

We have been speaking with Leisha, Haley and Kate Minig, the authors of the memoir so Gay for you. Thanks to both of you.

[Leisha Haley]

Thank you. For having us girls in tight dresses who drag.

[Wanna Summers]

This message comes from Bombus. Nearly 30% of marathoners end their race blistered. Bombus running socks are strategically cushioned to help. Say bye to blisters. Run to bombus.com NPR and use code NPR for 20% off your first purchase. This message comes from Warby Parker. What makes a great pair of glasses at Warby Parker? It's all the invisible extras without the extra cost, like free adjustments for life. Find your [e-mail] or visit one of their hundreds of stores around the country.

[Unknown Host]

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