With 'Dare I Say It,' Naomi Watts aims to help menopausal women feel less alone

Summary

NPR's Book of the Day: With 'Dare I Say It,' Naomi Watts Aims to Help Menopausal Women Feel Less Alone

Release Date: February 5, 2025

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Introduction

In the February 5, 2025 episode of NPR's Book of the Day, host Mary Louise Kelly engages in a heartfelt conversation with acclaimed actress and author Naomi Watts. The discussion centers around Watts' latest book, "Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause," wherein she shares her personal journey through menopause and seeks to destigmatize the often-silent experience for millions of women.

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Naomi Watts' Personal Journey

Naomi Watts opens up about a pivotal moment in her life during a doctor's appointment shortly after filming King Kong. At just 36 years old, Watts faced the unexpected news that she was nearing menopause, a revelation that left her "shocked" and "in a massive panic" (01:56). This diagnosis came at a time when she was eager to start a family, leading to a heartbreaking intersection of infertility and unexpected early menopause.

Quote:

"Here I was wanting to begin a new chapter of my life, and I was slammed with this news of, well, actually, you're close to the end and it's really young." – Naomi Watts (01:56)

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Cultural Stigma and Isolation

Despite menopause affecting approximately 2 million American women each year, Watts felt profoundly alone during her experience. She attributes this sense of isolation to the pervasive secrecy surrounding menopause, noting that society often treats it as a taboo subject. This lack of open conversation exacerbates feelings of loneliness for those navigating this transition.

Quote:

"It's really staggering how there is still a hangover for keeping it a secret." – Naomi Watts (03:07)

Watts emphasizes the importance of broader societal recognition and understanding, urging both menopausal and non-menopausal women to acknowledge and discuss this natural phase of life.

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Advocacy and Self-Help

A central theme of Watts' book is the empowerment of women to advocate for their own health. She encourages women to "speak to a doctor" and seek comprehensive medical advice when experiencing symptoms they cannot explain (04:08). Watts shares her own struggle with advocating for her needs, detailing how it took time to feel confident enough to discuss her symptoms openly.

Quote:

"If you're feeling out of control, if you're feeling unsure about what's happening to your body, get yourself to the doctor. Advocate for yourself, ask for help." – Mary Louise Kelly (03:38)

Watts reflects on her journey from "secrecy and shame" to empowerment, highlighting the importance of information and support in managing menopausal symptoms effectively.

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Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)

A significant portion of the discussion delves into Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), a topic Watts passionately addresses. She shares her positive experience with HRT, which provided substantial relief from debilitating symptoms such as night sweats and insomnia. Despite the controversial history of HRT, Watts advocates for its benefits, encouraging women to consult with their healthcare providers to explore this option.

Quote:

"I do encourage people to go to a doctor who is going to give them the full spectrum of options based on their medical history." – Naomi Watts (05:28)

Watts outlines her personal journey with different forms of HRT, including estrogen sprays, patches, pills, and gels combined with progesterone. Her candid discussion underscores the necessity of individualized treatment plans tailored to each woman's unique medical history.

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Embracing a New Chapter

In the concluding sections of her book, Watts provocatively suggests that menopause can be a transformative period—"a return to yourself" (07:04). She challenges the notion of menopause as merely an end, proposing instead that it signifies a new beginning where women can focus more on their personal desires and happiness.

Quote:

"What if the point of menopause is to break up with our former self? Like, to leave behind who we were? Embrace this whole new chapter of exploring and experimenting." – Naomi Watts (07:04)

Watts shares her own experiences of personal growth during this time, including her recent marriage, which she describes as a "big thing" she never anticipated in her 20s. Her narrative emphasizes that menopause is not a period of invisibility but rather one of reinvention and self-discovery.

Quote:

"This is not the end. We are not invisible." – Naomi Watts (08:14)

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Conclusion

Naomi Watts' "Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause" serves as both a memoir and a guide for women navigating the complexities of menopause. Through her candid storytelling and advocacy, Watts seeks to dismantle the stigma surrounding menopause, encouraging open dialogue and self-advocacy. Her insights aim to empower women to embrace this natural transition with confidence and support.

Final Quote:

"I'm looking at the women in these films lately... there are a number more than a handful of great, dynamic stories about women in this age group, which are really wonderful stories, and that's heartening to me." – Naomi Watts (08:33)

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Key Takeaways

• Personal Empowerment: advocating for one's health and seeking comprehensive medical advice are crucial for managing menopausal symptoms.

• Breaking Taboo: opening conversations about menopause can alleviate feelings of isolation and promote societal understanding.

• HRT as a Viable Option: Hormone Replacement Therapy can offer significant relief, and should be considered as part of a personalized treatment plan.

• Transition to New Beginnings: menopause can be viewed as an opportunity for personal growth and reinvention, rather than just an end.

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Timestamp Key:

• 01:56 – Naomi Watts discusses her shock at nearing menopause.
• 03:07 – Watts highlights the secrecy surrounding menopause.
• 04:08 – Mary Louise Kelly summarizes Naomi's advice.
• 05:28 – Watts' views on HRT.
• 07:04 – Watts on embracing menopause as a new chapter.
• 08:14 – Watts affirms women are not invisible post-menopause.
• 08:33 – Watts reflects on positive media representation of menopausal women.

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This summary provides an in-depth look into Naomi Watts' experiences and insights on menopause, offering valuable perspectives for listeners and readers seeking understanding and support during this natural life transition.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, it's NPR's Book of the Day. I'm Andrew Limbong. When it comes to advocating for yourself at the doctor's office, it's a lot easier said than done, right? And it can be confounding if your body is telling you one thing and your doctor is telling you another. And this is especially true for women going through menopause. Even the super famous actor Naomi Watts had to learn this skill of speaking up for herself at the doctor as her body was changing. And she put everything she learned into a new book called Dare I say Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause. In this interview with NPR's Mary Louise Kelly, Watts talks about how alone she felt going through menopause, even though it's something tens of millions of women experience every year. That's coming up.

[B]

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[C]

The actor Naomi Watts tells a story about a doctor's appointment. At the time, she had just finished filming King Kong. She wanted to have a baby, and she was having trouble getting pregnant. The doctor examined her and pronounced, looks like you're close to menopause. Watts was 36 years old. She almost fell off the exam table. Naomi Watts writes about that moment in her new book, dare I say It, Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause. Naomi Watts, welcome.

[D]

Thank you, Mary Louise. It's good to be here.

[C]

Why did you almost fall off the exam table that day?

[D]

I think I was just shocked. Here I was wanting to begin a new chapter of my life, and I was slammed with this news of, well, actually, you're close to the end and it's really young.

[C]

36. It must have felt so young.

[D]

Yes, I was obviously later than my mum coming to the world of parenting, but I still felt pretty young, certainly by standards that were going on in urban places. You were seeing people getting pregnant in their 40s, even late 40s, early 50s. So I was pretty shocked and went into a massive panic. And my doctor was very compassionate and very, you Know he didn't mean to scare me, but I just found it to be just the worst possible news.

[C]

Well, and I was struck that you say you felt completely alone as you navigated this because you quote a statistic. Every year, 2 million American women enter menopause. If I'm doing my math right, that's five or six thousand women a day. This is not a rare, unique experience. But you felt completely alone. Why?

[D]

Yeah, well, because the conversation was completely closed. It's ridiculous. Given those statistics, every single woman, if they're lucky enough, we'll go through menopause. It's really staggering how there is still a hangover for keeping it a secret. And the rest of us who are not going to go through menopause should know about it.

[C]

So to preview your book, a little Naomi Watts. You've got chapters here on everything from your own infertility story to skincare and what we might want to wear as women age. If I were to sum up the most important advice you're offering to women based on your own journey, would it be that? Look, if you're feeling out of control, if you're feeling unsure about what's happening to your body, get yourself to the doctor. Advocate for yourself, ask for help.

[D]

Yeah, absolutely.

[C]

How did you learn how to do that?

[D]

It took a long time. It really did. I flailed around in secrecy and shame before I could piecemeal information and get myself into a place where I felt brave enough to speak to others. My doctor walked me through the whole hormone therapy, the world of that. So I was able to deal with symptom relief very quickly because I was suffering. And I had been filling out plenty of medical forms for years saying that I was suffering. Night sweatshirt. I had no idea they were connected to menopause. I just thought menopause was hot flashes and that's it. And how dumb of me, but that's all that was available, really.

[C]

Well, if I may, I would say not dumb at all. You can't know what you don't know and what you don't know what to ask for. Stay on this for a second. The HRT hormone replacement therapy, it has been really controversial. The advice has been all over the map. You're not a doctor, you're not prescribing anything here. But you do weigh in with the strong view that HRT is an excellent option for many women and that it is safer than we have been led to believe. Elaborate on that.

[D]

Yeah, I'm not trying to profess to be a doctor at all. I want Everyone to investigate this based on their medical history. But I do encourage people to go to a doctor who is going to give them the full spectrum of options based on their medical history. As far as I am concerned, it has offered me great help with symptom relief. You know, I was going through nights of changing my clothes and setting towels down and moving to one side of the bed to the other. You know, and when you are not able to sleep and you're going through those night sweats, it can cause a whole barrage of other symptoms, like anxiety the next day, brain fog, depression, the list goes on. So I really needed to get my symptoms under control.

[C]

And can we just be specific for a second here? Because hormone replacement therapy sounds like this really scary thing for you. It was, what, like a little dot that you put on your hip or something?

[D]

Well, there are many different ways to distribute. And I started with just a spray of estrogen, and I've certainly moved around from one thing to the next, progressed in dosages and different forms of distribution. I then went to a patch, and then I went to a pill, and now I'm on a gel, and it's coupled with progesterone. So it takes time to research it. And as I said, everybody has to come at it on their own terms with their doctor.

[C]

You end the book by asking, what if the point of menopause is to break up with our former self? Like, to leave behind who we were? Embrace this whole new chapter of exploring and experimenting. And I read that and I thought, how great is that?

[D]

Yeah, it's like a return to yourself. You're not being governed by hormones anymore. Making odd decisions sometimes.

[C]

Well, I don't know. I can't blame all of my odd decisions on hormones.

[D]

No, definitely not. But I think it can be freeing. Now, perhaps the kids are grown enough or they've left the house already. Or depending how and when it hits you, maybe I can focus on me a bit more. What do I want here? And, you know, am I happy in my job? Am I happy in my marriage? Have I done enough? And, yeah, for me, I. There has been some great new things. And I've been, yes, pinching myself for many years from a number of great things that have taken place in my life. I got married just recently.

[C]

Congratulations.

[D]

That was a big thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. And I didn't expect to meet someone at this point in my life. You know, if I was in my 20s, I never would have predicted that things are possible. Still, it's definitely not the end. We are not invisible.

[C]

Amen to that. Yeah.

[D]

I'm looking at the women in these films lately, particularly this year. There's a number more than a handful of great, dynamic stories about women in this age group, which are really wonderful stories, and that's heartening to me. So I do think there's a massive change taking place, and it's wonderful to witness.

[C]

That is the actor and now also writer Naomi Watts. Her new book is, dare I say it, Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause. Naomi Watts. Thank you.

[D]

Thank you so much, Mary Louise.

[B]

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