Summary4 min read

OCD Family Podcast – S3E142: Water Cooler Chats: Helping Your OCD Warriors Own the Holidays

Host: Nicole Morris, LMFT
Date: July 4, 2025

Episode Theme & Purpose

In this episode, Nicole Morris offers a timely "Water Cooler Chat" focused on navigating holidays when you or your loved one has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Nicole shares actionable advice for families and supporters, tackling the challenges posed by intrusive thoughts and sensory overload during festivities, particularly around events like the Fourth of July. The episode encourages listeners to embrace agency over OCD, maintain mental health boundaries, and find meaningful ways to celebrate.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Intrusive Thoughts Don’t Take Holidays Off (00:54)

Nicole emphasizes that OCD doesn't "pause" for holidays:
“Intrusive thoughts don’t take holidays off. So if they show up today, a different holiday, or even within a holiday season, let them be there and then refocus on what you want to do.”
(Nicole, 00:54)
She reassures listeners that it’s normal if intrusive thoughts create worry or uncertainty:
“You don’t owe OCD any answers, any solves, or even any certainty, because these thoughts, images and urges are just that. And that is the work.”
(Nicole, 01:15)
Tips: Acknowledge the thoughts, then consciously choose to redirect attention to meaningful activities—like fireworks, a cookout, or simply relaxing.

2. Sensory Overload & Holiday Unpredictability (01:35)

Nicole speaks to the sensory challenges that often accompany holidays: loud noises, crowds, unpredictable events, and how this can be overwhelming, especially for those who are neurodivergent.
She validates listeners’ experiences and sets out practical strategies:
“Give yourself permission to set some boundaries. Not everything is a compulsion. Noise-canceling headphones, a quieter viewing spot, or even skipping the party altogether are all valid options.”
(Nicole, 01:55)
Personal anecdote about her autistic family members:
“…We stopped going to the town's firework show years ago and opted for just setting off our own colorful array with family in the cul de sac. It's a quieter viewing spot. We have access to an air-conditioned home if we need a break...”
(Nicole, 02:25)
Encourages listeners to honor their sensory needs and choose actions based on personal values and well-being, not avoidance from fear or compulsion.

3. Agency vs. OCD & The Importance of Choice (03:05)

Nicole frames agency as a crucial ingredient:
“The point is that you have agency and you get the choice, not OCD.”
(Nicole, 03:05)
She reassures listeners it’s okay to decline gatherings if the primary reason is sensory, social, or emotional overwhelm—not compulsive avoidance.
Focus is on giving oneself permission to celebrate in a personally meaningful and mentally healthy way.

4. Exposure Work Doesn't Take Holidays Off (03:21)

Nicole reminds those in ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy that opportunities for exposures may arise naturally during holiday events:
“Just because it's a holiday doesn't mean time off from facing your OCD…Maybe it's being around messy picnic food or barbecue, maybe it's tolerating uncertainty about fire safety.”
(Nicole, 03:21)
She stresses exposures should be approached with support, not pressure, and always in service of enjoying life’s moments—celebrating relationships, laughter, and connection.

5. Connection and Community (03:55)

Nicole highlights the episode's community-minded approach:
“…it was nice to bump into you fam here for a brief water cooler chat where we can remember that we’ve got this. We’re not alone and we are better together.”
(Nicole, 03:55)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“Intrusive thoughts don’t take holidays off...” (00:54)
“You don’t owe OCD any answers, any solves, or even any certainty…” (01:15)
“Give yourself permission to set some boundaries. Not everything is a compulsion…” (01:55)
“…you have agency and you get the choice, not OCD.” (03:05)
“Lean into it with support, not pressure. Because you deserve to celebrate in a way that respects your mental health.” (03:39)
“We’re not alone and we are better together.” (03:55)

Timestamps for Key Segments

00:54 – Intrusive thoughts during holidays and managing uncertainty
01:35 – Sensory overload: validating experiences and practical tips for boundaries
03:05 – Emphasizing agency over OCD’s demands
03:21 – ERP during holidays: exposures in natural settings
03:55 – Community and connection: closing encouragement

Tone & Language

Nicole’s delivery is warm, validating, conversational, and empowering—peppered with real-life anecdotes, direct advice, and community-focused language. Her tone is supportive, with an emphasis on normalizing difficult experiences and celebrating small victories in the OCD journey.

Summary Takeaway

This “water cooler chat” episode offers concise yet rich guidance for anyone supporting an OCD “warrior” through the unpredictability and sensory demands of holiday gatherings. Nicole’s central message is to honor your boundaries, maintain your agency, continue your exposure work with realistic expectations, and seek joy and connection in ways that genuinely serve you.

You deserve to celebrate in a way that respects your mental health. We’re not alone and we are better together.

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Transcript5 lines

[00:00]
A
Want a recipe for success? Step one visit ocdfamilypodcast.com courses step two click on my link to browse OCD Training School's amazing course catalog. Step three enroll. And step four enjoy learning with no added cost to you. You can support the OCD Family community while grabbing some continuing education or learning how to bridge yourself to self help. Strategies for OCD. Again, that's ocdfamilypodcast.com courses. Use my special link to sign up today.
[00:29]
B
Hey everyone, welcome back to the OCD Family Podcast. If you're catching this episode in real time, then you know Today is the 4th of July. But even if you're part of our Replay fam, this episode is for you. Because we are here to talk about strategies for managing holidays when you or your loved one is living with ocd. And remember, this isn't therapy, this is a chat duck on holidays.
[00:54]
A
What?
[00:55]
B
Yes. First of all, intrusive thoughts don't take holidays off. So if they show up today, a different holiday, or even within a holiday season, let them be there and then refocus on what you want to do. Whether that's watching fireworks, hanging with friends, having a cookout, or just staying in. And if that worries you, maybe even creates a wellspring of uncertainty in you, that's okay. You don't owe OCD any answers, any solves, or even any certainty, because these thoughts, images and urges are just that. And that is the work. Secondly, whether you're neurodivergent or allistic, sometimes holidays can create some sensory overload. Here in the States, a day like today means fireworks, music, usually crowds. But for many a holidays, even when traditions may come into play, there is still a decent amount of unpredictability. And that can be intense. So if you are experiencing ego syntonic sensory overload, meaning your experiences, even if unwanted, are in line with your values, like loud noises hurt. So I don't love being around loud noises or things of that sort. Give yourself permission to set some boundaries. Not everything is a compulsion. Noise canceling headphones, a quieter viewing spot, or even skipping the party altogether are all valid options. For my autistic kiddos, the headphones are a must. But also we stopped going to the town's firework show years ago and opted for just setting off our own colorful array with family in the cul de sac. It's a quieter viewing spot. We have access to an air conditioned home if we need a break, it's okay and I would argue important to honor your sensory system. So if you're avoiding a get together, but not out of intrusive fear or obsessional doubt or but mostly just because it's a lot of peopling, it's hot, it's humid, I don't like how sticky I feel, it's loud and I can't really enjoy the time because I am dysregulated af. Then you can choose not to go. The point is that you have industry, you have agency and you get the choice, not ocd. And thirdly, if you're doing exposure and response prevention therapy, just because it's a holiday doesn't mean time off from facing your ocd. So if you're working on exposures, think about how the day might offer chances to practice. Maybe it's being around messy picnic food or barbecue, maybe it's tolerating uncertainty about fire safety. But again, you can apply this to any sort of holiday or gathering reunion. Whatever it is, lean into it with support, not pressure. Because you deserve to celebrate in a way that respects your mental health. And pursuing that oh, that's the good stuff. And therein lies freedom or connection or relationships or that really funny oh my gosh, you're not going to believe what Uncle Alex did. It's those sort of things we are fighting and in service to those moments. From an ICBT perspective, reminding yourself how you can pop out of the OCD bubble is key. Speaking of barbecues, get togethers, fireworks and more, I gotta get ready myself. But it was nice to bump into you fam here for a brief water cooler chat where we can remember that we've got this. We're not alone and we are better together.
[04:29]
A
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