🧠 Fence Sitting In OCD Recovery Is Very Painful - OCD Recovery

Summary3 min read

Episode Overview

Title: 🧠 Fence Sitting In OCD Recovery Is Very Painful
Host: Ali Greymond
Date: March 13, 2026

This episode explores the concept of “fence sitting” in OCD recovery—the painful limbo where sufferers hesitate between making a true commitment to recovery and hanging onto compulsions and rumination. Ali Greymond delves into why this indecision is a major barrier to progress and how taking even small steps toward reducing OCD behaviors can make a significant difference.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Nature of Fence Sitting in OCD [(00:00)]

Ali defines “fence sitting” as the state where people want to recover, but they’re not yet willing to give up compulsions and rumination.
This indecision leads to stagnation: “So you're not getting worse, but you're also not getting better. So you're kind of maintaining pretty much the same level of rumination every single day.” — Ali Greymond [00:30]
The experience of fence sitting isn’t passive; it actively prolongs the pain of OCD.

2. The Importance of Decision and Commitment [(01:00)]

Recovery starts with a firm decision—to truly pick a side. This doesn’t mean stopping all behaviors at once, but firmly deciding that recovery is the ultimate goal.
“That decision is a start. And the longer you sit on the fence ... that is the most painful position to be in.” — Ali Greymond [01:10]
Ali underscores that making a decision is not enough: follow-through is essential for real progress.

3. Incremental Progress: Small Wins Matter [(02:00)]

Ali describes her method with clients: gradually reducing daily rumination—from constant rumination to zero—by “doing a little bit better each day.”
“Track and reduce rumination, compulsions and avoidances, even if it's just by a little bit.” — Ali Greymond [02:20]
She emphasizes that there are no impossible OCD cases and everyone can recover with sustained effort.

4. The Pain of Stagnation [(02:40)]

Fence sitting is described as “literally the most painful place to be.”
Ali notes that, even beyond the obvious barriers to improvement, indecision generates ongoing emotional suffering.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“The longer you sit on the fence ... that is the most painful position to be in.”
— Ali Greymond [01:10]
“So you're not getting worse, but you're also not getting better. So you're kind of maintaining pretty much the same level of rumination every single day.”
— Ali Greymond [00:30]
“Track and reduce rumination, compulsions and avoidances, even if it's just by a little bit. Don't keep yourself in the fence sitting position because it's literally the most painful place to be.”
— Ali Greymond [02:20]

Timestamps of Important Segments

[00:00] Introduction and definition of fence sitting in OCD recovery
[00:30] Stagnation and maintaining rumination—how indecision keeps recovery at a standstill
[01:10] Decision as the starting point and why indecision prolongs suffering
[02:00] Framework for gradual reduction in compulsions/rumination
[02:40] The unique pain of staying stuck on the fence

Conclusion

In this episode, Ali Greymond directly addresses how remaining indecisive about OCD recovery keeps sufferers trapped in a cycle of pain. Her message is both compassionate and actionable: progress doesn’t require perfection, but it does require making—and acting on—a decision to get better. Small daily efforts in reducing rumination and compulsions, even by the smallest margin, are framed as essential, achievable starting points for everyone.

“Don't keep yourself in the fence sitting position because it's literally the most painful place to be.”
— Ali Greymond [02:20]

Loading summary

Transcript1 lines

[00:00]
A
Let's talk about fence sitting in ocd. I find that to be a common problem where on one side the person wants to recover, but on the other side they also don't want to give up compulsions and rumination. So one of the primary steps in recovery is you need to pick a side. And that doesn't mean you stop all of the behaviors, but it means that you know that to fully recover, you're going to need to give up these behaviors at some point, some point. So that decision is a start. And the longer you sit on the fence, meaning that sometimes you do compulsions, rumination, sometimes you disregard, sometimes you do. And it's, it's not moving in any direction. So you're not getting worse, but you're also not getting better. So you're kind of maintaining pretty much the same level of rumination every single day. That is the most painful position to be in. And you have to understand that you're prolonging your own suffering by not reducing rumination, even by the tiniest little bit. It with clients, a lot of the times we started from a position of being 100% ruminating pretty much, pretty much all day long and brought it down little by little to zero from there. Just by doing a little bit better each day, by pushing a little bit more each day. So there is no impossible cases. Everybody can recover even from the most intense situation. But the decision to do the work needs to be there and the follow through of actually doing it, because you can make a decision and then not actually do it. So I'm telling you, track and reduce rumination, compulsions and avoidances, even if it's just by a little bit. Don't keep yourself in the fence sitting position because it's literally the most painful place to be. Emergency session is available. The link is in the description.