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Ed Gamble
Welcome to the Off Menu podcast. Taking the brisket of conversation, smoking it over the wood of humor, and having a lovely old smoked bit of brisket chat.
James Acaster
James, that's a gamble. My name is James Acaster. Together we own a dream restaurant. And every single week we invite in a guest asking their favorite ever start a main course, dessert side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week our guest is Jinkx Monsoon.
Ed Gamble
The wonderful Jinx Monsoon. James, she's an absolute superstar.
James Acaster
An icon.
Ed Gamble
An icon. Drag race winner two times over.
James Acaster
Two times.
Ed Gamble
A fantastic turn in Doctor who recently. Yeah, I've seen Jinx do a couple of shows in the past. Jinx has also just been in over the Rainbow, Soho Theatre, Walthamstow, Judy Garland. Yes. And is about to be in O Mary on the West End.
James Acaster
So she's already done it on Broadway.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
James Acaster
Is now bringing her performance to the West End. Very exciting. O Mary is a fantastic show and it will be running from 17th of
Ed Gamble
August to the 26th of September. James, I think I'll go and see Jinx in the show because I've seen O Mary already. We've both seen O Mary with Mason Alexander park, who's wonderful, of course. But I'd be excited to see Jinkx's interpretation cause I was sad to miss it on Broadway.
James Acaster
It's a great thing about the show is that each Mary brings a different flavor to the whole thing. Maybe we can get into that.
Ed Gamble
Absolutely.
James Acaster
We love talking flavors on the off menu podcast. But listen, if Jinx chooses a secret ingredient which we have deemed to be unacceptable, we will be forced to kick her out of the dream restaurant. And this week, the secret ingredient is gin. Gin sounds a bit like Jinx. It's like the first bit of Jinx.
Ed Gamble
Doesn't just sound like it, it's a part of it.
James Acaster
It's a part of it.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
James Acaster
So, like. And I don't really like gin on its own. Well, of all I do drink gin cocktails, to be fair to me. But like, I don't like it on its. Like, of all the spirits, no one
Ed Gamble
really wants to drink gin by itself, to be fair. I'll have a gin and soda now and again, which is pretty much just drinking, just watered down gin. Yeah, I don't mind that, but it's probably. You're probably right. Out of all the spirits, it's the least solo.
James Acaster
So I'll be saying gin on its own.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, I think so.
James Acaster
Just gin on its own.
Ed Gamble
I mean, Jinx will be having a very bad day if she picks gin on its own.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Especially as I'm pretty sure she doesn't drink.
Jinkx Monsoon
Right.
James Acaster
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we'll see what happens. Yeah, yeah. Podcast. It's unpredictable.
Ed Gamble
I'm on tour next year. Ed Gamble Fresh hell. Go to edgamble.co.uk for tickets UK tour
James Acaster
and Ireland and I'll be going to see it.
Ed Gamble
This is the off menu menu of Jigs Monsoon. Welcome Jinx, to the Dream Restaurant.
Jinkx Monsoon
Thank you for having us.
James Acaster
Welcome, Jinx Monsoon to the Dream Restaurant. But it's been given some time.
Jinkx Monsoon
It's been years in the making. I think I started planning this meal like eight years ago. Nine years ago when we first talked about me coming on. And then it just never happened. And now it never happens.
James Acaster
I mean, look, what would it have been then?
Ed Gamble
It would have been probably in an office somewhere. We wouldn't have had our own studio. We would have been in your agent's office.
James Acaster
Yeah, probably all echoey.
Ed Gamble
I think we wanted to wait until we were truly ready to have you on.
Jinkx Monsoon
You know, patience is a wonderful thing.
Ed Gamble
Also, you've been busy.
Jinkx Monsoon
I like being busy. I always say, better busy than dead. But I eat my words constantly because one could lead to the other.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, sure. Eat My Words is the perfect name for this podcast.
James Acaster
We should call it.
Ed Gamble
We should have called it Eat My Words.
Jinkx Monsoon
It was right in front of me.
Ed Gamble
Not fully Eat My Words feels too late now.
James Acaster
In those nine years since you talked to Ed, how Much has your taste changed in food? How different do you think your menu is now to what it would have been?
Jinkx Monsoon
The biggest thing is I don't eat mammals anymore. And this is what I. Because it's like I say, I don't eat red meat. And then they're like, so pork. And I'm like, no, I don't eat pork either. And then they're like, what about lamb? And I'm like, well, what is lamb? Lamb feels so now, right? So now I just say I don't eat mammals. But that sounds weirder.
Ed Gamble
I've never heard anyone say I don't eat mammals. It makes sense.
Jinkx Monsoon
So I ate poultry and fish. But it happened one day. And do you want to know why I stopped?
Ed Gamble
Absolutely.
Jinkx Monsoon
I was watching, I was doom scrolling while I was filming Doctor who, my one episode, it took a month and I was doom scrolling one day and saw a video of a pig that someone had as a pet that was exhibiting just as much intelligence as a dog. And I was like, well, that feels like a double standard. Like why we don't, you know, it's frowned upon eating dog. It's socially, you know, but why not pigs when pigs like you can form just as much of a relationship with them? And so I brought this thought to my makeup artist at the Bad Wolf studios, not knowing she was a vegan. And so I'm just kind of pontificating on the intelligence of pigs. And then she goes, yeah, Jinx. Pigs are very smart, aren't they? They're very smart. And cows are basically as smart as a horse. Jinx. And you wouldn't eat them poor horses, would you? And then I'm like, you're right, I don't like all these double standards. I think I'm gonna stop eating pork and, and beef. And then she goes, and those baby lambs. And I went, are you a vegan? And she goes, yes, I was very young. And I was like, well, okay, so lamb too. You know what? Just all of that, I think I'm gonna stop eating it. And that's when I stopped eating it. And then she goes, chickens are quite sweet. Jinx. And I go, let's hope I just gave up a lot of food at once.
Ed Gamble
You leave with half your makeup done. You're like, I gotta get out of here before chick off the table.
Jinkx Monsoon
So that was about, I don't know, three or four years ago. So. And I've been thinking a lot, like, will I, if this is my last meal, do I say fuck it and eat whatever I want? But I don't know. Principles are nothing if you throw them away.
Ed Gamble
And you don't need to think of this as your last meal. This is just your.
Jinkx Monsoon
Oh, I thought it was the last meal.
Ed Gamble
Well, it can be, but it's your dream. It's your dream meal, so you might want it as your last meal.
Jinkx Monsoon
Preparing for, like, my escape from death row. I had all these plans to take my death with the meal so that they thought I was dead.
Ed Gamble
We can do it like that. We can do it like that. Absolutely.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, I can pivot. I can pivot.
Ed Gamble
You can pivot.
Jinkx Monsoon
I think it's probably gonna be the same meal.
Ed Gamble
Was it Merlin, the pig that you saw on Instagram?
James Acaster
Yeah. Was it Dance With Me, Mummy?
Jinkx Monsoon
I don't remember the pig's name, but what the pig was doing was it didn't, like the vacuum cleaner in the house, like, a lot of dogs don't like. And so when. Whenever the person would start vacuuming, the pig would run to the cord and pull it out of the wall. And I was like, that's a. Some pig. It was a Charlotte's Web moment. I was like, I would never eat that pig. And then when you start pulling that thread, the meat industry is as flawed as anything else. I think things seem to be slightly better here. America's meat industry is like, so many things in America.
James Acaster
Yes. Well, I'll tell you one great thing that America has given us is O Mary.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yes, that's true. That is true. And the people who created it, Cola Scola, Sam Pinkleton, and the whole o' Mary crew. And I've gotten to do it twice on Broadway, and now I'm gonna do it on the West End. Have you seen it?
James Acaster
Yes. Fantastic.
Jinkx Monsoon
Who was your Mary Mason.
Ed Gamble
Alexander Park.
Jinkx Monsoon
Incredible Mason. I saw Mason. I've been friends for Mason for years, and nothing has ever made me so attracted to Mason as seeing them perform Mary. I was, like, hot for Mason afterward. It was like an artist crush, though it's not like I now want to jump Mason, but it was more so like, I can't wait until the stars align and we're on stage together or on screen together. Because I got horny as an actress, if that makes sense.
James Acaster
Yeah, sure.
Ed Gamble
What about.
Jinkx Monsoon
Do you get horny as a comedian?
Ed Gamble
Oh, totally.
Jinkx Monsoon
Really good comedy.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Comedy crush. Yeah, yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Not to limit what. What could turn you on.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. I'm turning on my other arts, thank you very much. I can't limit myself to just comedy constantly. Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
What is the sexiest art form Good question.
Ed Gamble
It's not clowning. I can tell you what it's about.
Jinkx Monsoon
I've seen some really hot clowns. There are some sexy clowns.
Ed Gamble
James says pornography.
Jinkx Monsoon
Pornography could be.
Ed Gamble
Is that art, though? Big question.
James Acaster
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, there's scripts and they learn the lines.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, true.
James Acaster
You want to tell the Jesus. Tell an adult actor that they're not.
Jinkx Monsoon
Come on, Chalamet.
Ed Gamble
I'll just ruin my Oscar chances.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Pornography industry going to be up.
Jinkx Monsoon
There goes your AV right there.
James Acaster
Do all the Marys know each other?
Jinkx Monsoon
More or less? I mean, well, it's this. I've met a lot of the other Marys. I've seen a lot of the other Marys. I haven't seen Catherine Tate yet. She will have finished by the time this is airing. But it's like this. I think of it as like the Mary verse, where to play that role, you have to get into such a specific head, mind state. Head state. And the show moves like a freight train without breaks. And it just puts you in this weird mental space. And then when you look into the eyes of another Mary, it's like, you've been there, you've seen it. And I have seen so many Mary at this point, and none of them have performed it quite the same as like, no two Marys are the same. But if they have found the secret, which is just playing the truth of the situation and playing it like Shakespeare, then it works. It's a really, really well written play. I think the fact that the casting has been so diverse is a testament to how well written it is. Because when it's structurally sound, you can move the pieces around and it still really work. As long as everyone agrees on what they're doing there that day, you know,
Ed Gamble
we can't wait to see you in it. I'm gonna.
Jinkx Monsoon
Me too.
Ed Gamble
I mean, that is. That's the exciting thing about it. And they've worked out a way of doing this that every time they replace the lead, I'm like, I've got to go. I'm gonna go again now.
Jinkx Monsoon
They're really smart about who they cast, and knowing a lot of the team members, I just. I know how much they care about this. And it's such a testament to when something starts small and remains authentic even as it grows, it stays the thing it always was, even if more money gets involved.
James Acaster
Still, a sparkling water is what we always start with.
Jinkx Monsoon
Still. I gotta say, I like carbonated drinks, but my water should be still.
Ed Gamble
Are you anti the sparkling water? If someone brought you water Just give
Jinkx Monsoon
me a goddamn Coca Cola. You know what I mean? Like, why am I torturing myself with something that almost has a flavor?
James Acaster
So just remind you of, like, nice, like, soft drinks that, like, carbohydrated.
Jinkx Monsoon
I tried the flavored sparkling water during the pandemic. Our house was.
Ed Gamble
We all did crazy things, right?
Jinkx Monsoon
And I tried to get into it, and then eventually I was just like, yeah, it reminded me of soda I actually liked.
Ed Gamble
So the flavored sparkling water is still. I've tried so many times. I'm like, that'll be refreshing. It looks so refreshing. And then it's just. It's such a whisper of flavor.
Jinkx Monsoon
And then you feel more thirsty afterward. And someone once told me the thing that got me fully done drinking them is someone said, do you drink those? Cause you think they're better for you than soda? And I was like, well, they have to be, right? They just have to be. And he said, let me ask you, what do you think essence is? And I was like, what do you mean? And he goes, they just say fruit essence on them. Where do you think they're getting the essence? How do they. Where are they, like, extracting the essence from? Explain to me where essence comes from. And I was like, I don't think they've really explained that either. Where is the essence coming from? How do they get it? How are they harassing these fruits to get just the sweat.
Ed Gamble
Such a really dark thing to say as well. The essence of an apple.
Jinkx Monsoon
A makeup artist, it's very vampiric. And I just stopped cold there.
Ed Gamble
They somehow capture what it is to be an apple, and they put it in the water.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah, yeah. It sounds like dark magic. Yeah.
James Acaster
You can't trust that anymore. You just got to go straight for, like, a Coca Cola.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, now I. I do like a. I like a calorie for free soda. Diet Dr. Pepper is my favorite. I don't drink anymore, but. So since it's not my last meal, I won't be having vodka martinis like I planned. I thought it was, like, right before I was gonna die. So I was like, I'm going out drunk one last time. But I haven't drank in seven years, so. And I really don't miss it. But I do think, like, if I know I'm going out, I'm gonna get drunk one last time.
James Acaster
Yeah, sure.
Jinkx Monsoon
Like, I don't wanna be conscious for that.
James Acaster
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you want us, we can, like, have it. That it's your last meal, if you want.
Jinkx Monsoon
If your dream meal is to do let's keep going.
James Acaster
What do you think about the amount of O's on Dr. Pepper? Zero on the can.
Ed Gamble
Oh, good point.
James Acaster
It says zero like that, I think.
Jinkx Monsoon
Seen that?
Aura Advertiser
Yeah.
James Acaster
It's.
Jinkx Monsoon
What is that a British thing?
James Acaster
Yeah, I guess so. I just think Dr. Pepper's crazy enough that says that.
Jinkx Monsoon
That sings it like you did.
James Acaster
Yeah, yeah, There should be.
Ed Gamble
I've never seen a TV, TV ad for Dr. Pepper in the last, like 10 years.
James Acaster
No, it used to be Dr. Pepper. So misunderstood. Yeah, that was the. The OG tagline that I remember. And then it was, what's the worst that could happen?
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
James Acaster
Do you remember that? Yeah. For a while it was Dr. Pepper. What's the worst that could happen? And someone would be like, I might get Dr. Pepper. I'm not sure what's the worst that could happen. And they would get it and it, like, come out the vending machine and it would, like roll out and then like trip someone up and then fall over and die. And they're like. And they would like, what?
Jinkx Monsoon
Was it refreshing? Did he still drink it?
James Acaster
Yeah, exactly.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. Yeah. It's like trembling. All his bones are broken.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
I like Dr. Pepper because it's less popular.
James Acaster
Right.
Jinkx Monsoon
I'm a contrarian. But the thing is, I only drink one soda with dinner a day, and that's about it. And I've gotten on the prebiotic sodas that actually have flavor and they're fewer calories.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, but what's a prebiotic soda? These are basically these things.
Jinkx Monsoon
It's the word they put on it to make you feel better about drinking it.
Ed Gamble
And this will start. We'll only get prebiotic sodas in the UK in 10 years time. So we're like 10 years behind everything.
Jinkx Monsoon
I bet they get it from the same essence factor.
James Acaster
By the time we get it here, someone would have already talked about drinking them. What do you think prebiotic even means?
Ed Gamble
Prebiotics are very intelligent.
Jinkx Monsoon
You know, I feel like now that we're talking about it, I feel like they're probably just mixing brine shrimp into something. It's sea monkeys. It's always sea monkeys in the end anyway.
Ed Gamble
Would you drink a drink with sea monkeys in it if it was really delicious?
Jinkx Monsoon
I mean, I eat shrimp.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
James Acaster
I guess sea monkeys aren't mammals.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
James Acaster
Even though they're called monkeys.
Jinkx Monsoon
No, they're little shrimp.
James Acaster
Popping ups or bread. Pop it Ups or bread. Jinx. Monsoon Pop Knobs or bread.
Jinkx Monsoon
Bread. Yeah, bread. I thought a lot about this. I would want the brown bread from the Cheesecake Factory. Have you ever been to America?
James Acaster
I've been to the Cheesecake Factory. I've been to the San Francisco one and one in la.
Ed Gamble
I've never been to the Cheesecake Factory. I've watched a lot of videos about the Cheesecake Factory.
Jinkx Monsoon
There's no reason to go unless you just want to experience it. But when I was a broke college student and they had like lunch specials where you could get an appetizer and a lunch salad and bottomless bread for a certain amount of money, it was like our bougie treat to ourselves. And when I won Drag Race the first time, I took my roommates to the Cheesecake Factory and I said, no spending limit.
Ed Gamble
Love that.
Jinkx Monsoon
Get whatever you want. Because we were always so used to, you know, budgeting our meals and stuff at the Cheesecake Factory. But the brown bread there, it's like, it's just like wheat brown bread with oats on top. And it just tastes better than every other bread. It's probably not even bread. It's probably cake because content.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, it's cheesecake.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
But it's very good. Good with some, you know, room temperature butter. It can't be be.
Ed Gamble
I just love when I watch the videos about Cheesecake Pattery. The menu's so big. Yeah. Like, there's so much food before you even get to the cheesecake. It's like.
Jinkx Monsoon
And then they have my favorite, the Skinnylicious menu. First of all, anytime someone adds licious to something, I'm like, already, like, wary of whatever's going to happen.
Ed Gamble
It's such a gross thing to add to anything.
Jinkx Monsoon
Licious. The Skinnylicious menu is basically just regular portion sizes instead of Cheesecake Factory.
Ed Gamble
No more essential portion sizes.
Jinkx Monsoon
And so it's a lot of the same menu items just like, prepared for one human.
Ed Gamble
When you win Drag Race, is it true that they film everyone winning and then you only find out when it goes out?
Jinkx Monsoon
Yes. That only started being true the year before, before I won the first time because I think there had been a leak.
Ed Gamble
Okay.
Jinkx Monsoon
And so then they started doing the Three Endings. And to this day, and when I won the second time, I still. They filmed both endings and we didn't know until the day everyone else knew.
James Acaster
So actually aired. Did you have to watch it on TV to know if you'd won?
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah. And I was in Australia at the time, so it was airing in America and I was gonna have to wait like 15 hours to know or like have it spoiled on the Internet. So I just, as soon as it was available, I had an alarm set. I had a friend show me the ending on FaceTime so I could just watch it myself, have my own reaction to it. And then I, like, got on my phone and everything was there, and it was, you know, it was a crazy time. I was on tour in Australia, and then I won Drag Race for a second time in America. And I encapsulated it all by replicating. We did it, Joe. That was how I celebrated. I replicated the Kamala phone call with
James Acaster
it.
Ed Gamble
Must be weird having to celebrate knowing that then the person next to you is gonna celebrate, and you're, like, acting winning it, not having it. I mean, I guess it is a genuine reaction.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, we've all just kind of gotten used to. And that season was all winners. The second time was all winners. So we all knew what we had signed up for. And it was a very, like, as far as reality TV goes, that was one of the best, you know, possible. All the circumstances were great. You know, like, they really did do everything they could to treat it like an all winter season. And the fact that none of us got eliminated and we all got the same amount of episodes, it's like putting out the best demo reel you possibly can.
James Acaster
When you're filming, you're, you know, winning it. Are you thinking, like, well, I better do it. Maybe this is also gonna be taken into account. If I don't do a good celebration here, maybe I don't win the series.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah, well, luckily, I can spin a yarn out of nothing. Like, what did I end up saying? I said a lot of stuff, and then I ended it with. And I claimed this prize. I claimed this victory in the name of Hecate, Queen of Witches. And I thought, that's at least a good soundbite to go out.
James Acaster
It's a definitive sent.
Jinkx Monsoon
But that's what came to me in the moment. But when you live true to yourself, you always, like, everything's always floating up at the top.
James Acaster
So your dream starter, your menu proper.
Ed Gamble
Now, is this gonna be from Cheesecake Factory as well?
Jinkx Monsoon
No, this is gonna be from Ziddell. Oh, yeah. My favorite restaurant in London.
Ed Gamble
Very nice.
Jinkx Monsoon
I feel like it's a time capsule restaurant. Every time I go in there, I feel like Joan Crawford and Mommy dearest, like, sitting down, like. And they even have steak tartare so I can recreate the scene, but I just really like French food. And they do it pretty right. And they have a carrot salad, and it's just like, julienned carrots or shaved carrots in a dressing with some parsley. On top. And I can't get enough of it. And I've tried to replicate it at home, and I can't get it to taste quite right. And I can't get the carrots thin enough. I don't know what they're using back there to shave these carrots down, but it's so good.
James Acaster
I've been to Zadel. I haven't had this back.
Jinkx Monsoon
And get it, it's like it's a bullseye on the menu. And then I'd also want coconut shrimp. I just. I don't care how tacky it is. I really love coconut shrimp, especially do it with real coconut, you know, with sweet chili sauce.
Ed Gamble
I don't think I've had coconut shrimp.
James Acaster
I don't think I've had coconut shrimp.
Ed Gamble
I think so. It doesn't sound. It certainly doesn't sound quite exotic.
Jinkx Monsoon
Thai restaurant.
Ed Gamble
Okay. Yeah. So is it like deep fried, Deep fried shrimp?
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah. So it's shrimp dipped in batter and then. And the batter has coconut shavings in it. And then you deep fry the shrimp, and it's usually served with sweet chili sauce. And it's very good.
Ed Gamble
I think we can let you have both of those things because one of them's a little sort of fresh salad.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
And then you've got the coconut fried something because, well, again, I thought this was going to be my last meal.
Ed Gamble
So again, we don't mind if it's your last meal.
Jinkx Monsoon
Salad is enough on its own.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
That salad, a little of that Cheesecake Factory bread.
Ed Gamble
You're having the shrimp, and we're bringing you all the. It's unlimited Cheesecake Factory bread. It's bottomless.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah.
James Acaster
Zidel is one of my favorite restaurants to sit in. And that room is so great.
Jinkx Monsoon
I've had, I think, all my favorite meals with all my favorite people there.
James Acaster
Who are your favorite people?
Jinkx Monsoon
So make me list them.
James Acaster
Top three.
Ed Gamble
James likes it when people list their friends.
James Acaster
Top three favorite people.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, my top three favorite people aren't even necessarily close friends. Like, one of my favorite people alive right now is Alana Ubach, and I've just messaged her a couple times on Instagram, and she's very sweet, but I think she's one of my favorite people alive. Katherine Hahn. Her and I have never met, but she's one of my favorite people.
James Acaster
Sure.
Jinkx Monsoon
And then one of my favorite. My favorite person that I've met is Corbin Blue. He and his wife Sasha, I always say, are two of the best humans I know. So anyway, there you go.
James Acaster
So I know Katherine. Hahna, are those three. I don't know who those other two people are. No, no, no.
Jinkx Monsoon
Text her and tell her.
Aura Advertiser
No.
James Acaster
I'm also like, you are just a fan of Katherine Harder. Yes. But like, I've never heard of those other two people.
Jinkx Monsoon
A lot of you, Locke, you have undoubtedly seen in something because she has been in just kind of a little bit of everything. And she is such a transformative actor that you never realize it's her. And like, she was in Meet the Fockers as the, like, nanny with the boobs, and she was in Sister act as one of the teens and she was in Clueless as one of the best friends.
James Acaster
Okay.
Jinkx Monsoon
And she's in so much. And then she's also a recurring crack addicted sex worker on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Ed Gamble
Oh, okay.
Jinkx Monsoon
And she had this great line where she goes, man, this jacket's tighter than dick skin.
James Acaster
I do remember that. I do remember that line. That's Alana Eubot.
Ed Gamble
So for this dream meal, Alana Eubach can be there.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yes, she has to be there. Yeah, let's have those three.
James Acaster
Yeah, yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Corbin's. Corbin's a gentleman. He'll pull the seat out for all three of us.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Who's Corbin?
Jinkx Monsoon
Corbin Bleu is most popularly known from the High School Musical franchise. He had big curly hair at the time, and then he has a cult following from a film he was in called Jump in about jump roping. But he's also a musical theater actor and he's been killing it in the Great Gatsby on the West End recently.
Ed Gamble
Nice.
Jinkx Monsoon
But we met doing Little Shop of Horrors together. He was my Seymour.
Ed Gamble
See, this feels like a bit of a sort of West End post show dinner already.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah, especially like Zidel for us. Like that Groucho. Yeah, why not?
James Acaster
Sure, you can have a look at the Groucho.
Ed Gamble
You can pick one of the worst places in London. That's funny.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Hey, but you have to adult people to get in.
James Acaster
Real good people as well.
Ed Gamble
I've only been to the Groucho once, and what made me laugh out loud is they have signs outside the toilet saying, don't do drugs in the toilets. I'm like the most pointless sign in the history of the world.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah, I've been to the Groucho a handful of times. Always had a lovely time. But the first time I ever went, there were just like there was a celebrity on every floor. Everyone from their West End shows was there and everyone I was with was like, do you Want to go meet this person? Do you want to go try to meet this person? I was like, they're here chilling out, right. The only person I want to walk up and introduce myself to is Noel Fielding. So if you see him, just let me know.
James Acaster
Imagine you do.
Jinkx Monsoon
And I was like, I was adamant, right?
James Acaster
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Then I'm out on the smoking patio because I smoked at the time probably. I don't know what I was doing there. I must have been smoking. And someone taps on my shoulder and asks for a lighter. And I turn and it's Noel Fielding. And we've been pals. I'm real good pals with his partner, Birdie.
James Acaster
Yep, she's good.
Jinkx Monsoon
I haven't met the kids, but we've been pals for a while. I went to his parents anniversary.
Ed Gamble
Oh, that's so nice.
Jinkx Monsoon
And his brother Mike.
Ed Gamble
I think back in the day, anyway, if you went to the Groucho and said Noel's name three times in a million years.
Jinkx Monsoon
We had a funny night that night. We didn't stay there. We went roaming around.
Ed Gamble
Fantastic.
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James Acaster
Your dream main course. Jinx.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah, I'm gonna keep the answer I prepared. It's a full lobster and a full crab.
Ed Gamble
Fantastic.
James Acaster
Well, I feel kind of weird about that.
Ed Gamble
Why? Because they're hanging out?
James Acaster
They might be friends.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. But then it's nice they die together.
Jinkx Monsoon
I was thinking holding claws.
Ed Gamble
Do you want them holding claws with each other?
Jinkx Monsoon
I was thinking of something more complex to make or something more like But I really just enjoy. For someone who loves animals, I do enjoy rituals. And there's something about the care and the effort at which you have to eat the lobster and the crab. And there's a. I don't know. But it's also kind of barbaric. Cause you're ripping them apart.
Ed Gamble
I know what you mean. The sort of effort you'd put into getting just a tiny bit of meat out of a tiny bit of claw.
James Acaster
You're calling the emergency services.
Jinkx Monsoon
No, you said that. Well, now you know my Siri's voice.
Ed Gamble
Does your Siri have a South Asian accent?
James Acaster
Yes.
Jinkx Monsoon
I enjoy that dialogue.
James Acaster
Absolutely.
Ed Gamble
That's fine. Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
And I enjoy her talking to me.
James Acaster
And
Jinkx Monsoon
I have a very polite relationship with my Siri. One of my best friends pointed out that I don't say please a lot, so I started practicing saying please with Siri. And now I say please more in my day to day. And so I always say please and thank you with Siri. And she always says, you're welcome. And it's very. It's a very polite relationship.
Ed Gamble
It's a very healthy relationship.
Jinkx Monsoon
Can change everything. Because I hate that white bitch. Sorry. I don't know where that came. But, you know, she's in everything, so it's like.
James Acaster
Sure, yeah, yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
It's like she gets enough air time, that Siri.
James Acaster
Yeah, yeah.
Ed Gamble
And she knows it as well. She really acts like she knows it.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
This was not against the actual voice actress I know.
James Acaster
Oh, no. You bet.
Jinkx Monsoon
I think we met her in an expose. The voice of Ciri. She seems like a normal lady.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, she's a lady. Yeah, she's a normal lady.
James Acaster
Yeah. Yeah. Overexposure is a thing. Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
So I want to. I want the lobster and the crab. I would settle for just, like, the claws and the tail. Like, I don't need the whole body. I'm not one of those people who sucks out the entrails or something. I just want the normal parts.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
James Acaster
What do you prefer, lobster or crab?
Jinkx Monsoon
I couldn't make up my mind, so that's why I need both. But the thing is, I like crab cold, and I don't like lobster hot.
Ed Gamble
How do you want the lobster cooked?
Jinkx Monsoon
Just steamed lobster. Yeah. Just classic steamed lobby and, you know, drawn butter. And then as an accompaniment, I want a pile of Tobiko caviar, black Tobiko caviar, just to spoon into my mouth between bites as a palate cleanser. Now, Tobiko caviar is. It's just the caviar they dust sushi or you can get it in nigiri. And I like caviar, but I don't like a lot of the most expensive caviar. I actually just like. There's a caviar that I get at a grocery store, and it's black lumpfish caviar. And it's not very good, but it, like, is such a strong caviar flavor that I take a tiny spoonful sometimes in the middle of the night when I'm having, like, salt cravings. That doesn't happen to you.
James Acaster
I get up in the middle of the night, I have a little tiny spoonful of caviar
Jinkx Monsoon
anyway, so I'd like a big pile of tobiko to just kind of, like, eat with the. If I'm gonna get it from the sea, let's keep a theme going.
Ed Gamble
And you can save some of the caviar in case you have any of your night cravings.
Jinkx Monsoon
Exactly. That's what'll go home with me after.
Ed Gamble
I like the. My favorite is the stuff you get in Japanese restaurants. The really big guys. The orange guys.
Jinkx Monsoon
Oh, the salmon.
Ed Gamble
The ikura. Yeah, those are my favorite. The ones that really pop.
Jinkx Monsoon
The boba pop. I like the tiny ones that really pop.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Because a lot of the expensive caviar, it's, like, smooth and it doesn't really creamy.
Ed Gamble
Isn't it hot? Yeah.
Aura Advertiser
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Jinkx Monsoon
And I'm not. And the first time I ever had caviar, it was really expensive caviar, but it had the pop and it was black. And I don't know what fish it came from. And I only ate it because my friend had asked me to get mustard or something. And because I have adhd, I grabbed the first jar I saw and opened it and went, what's this? And he goes, did you just open that? And I said, yes. And he goes, well, now we have to eat it. And I was like, what did I do? And he goes, let's not talk about it. But I have, like, three days to now eat that caviar. And so I had my first. First ever caviar, like 2am with my friend. I was dating a mortician at the time. He told me all about my pronounced globial mastoids on my skull. And I said, is that how you're going to identify me one day? Anyway, enough.
Ed Gamble
So romantic.
Jinkx Monsoon
So I don't know what that caviar was. It was very expensive, but I don't know from what fish it came. So lately I've just been eating the cheap stuff and calling it. I think that's great enough.
Ed Gamble
I love the idea of going between the lobster and the crab and then using something that is fishier as a palate cleanser.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
If anything, you're. You're absolutely fishing up the palate.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah. I mean, I go big or go home.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
You know, respect.
Ed Gamble
Respect.
James Acaster
The lobster and the crab become the palate cleansers between caviar at that point.
Jinkx Monsoon
The bites of caviar. Yeah, it's just a. It's a sampling of the. And also, I was raised poor and what we did, whenever we went out to restaurants, it was a family favorite to go to buffets. Every time we celebrated something, it was at a buffet. And the joke was always made, eat a lot, because this is dinner for the next few days, you know, And I've always loved having options. And lots of times I like to order too much food with friends so that we can at least all try everything. You know, I like a little bite of everything. So I guess that's behind my fish mentality.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
James Acaster
If this was your last meal, would you want your ex to be the mortician?
Jinkx Monsoon
This was a part of the answer. I was going to say if it was my last meal. Call him up, get the caviar. He'll know which caviar I'm talking about and have him deliver it. Then what they didn't know is me and the mortician will have planned that. He will have dosed the caviar with something to make me appear dead. Like, oh, no, she's having an allergic reaction. She's going into anaphylactic. She's dead. We can't give her the lethal injection. And then, you know, like 10 hours later. And then I escaped. So that was part of my plan when I thought this was my last meal. I didn't know he'd figure it out. If they did it in Romeo and Juliet, we can figure it out.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. It must have been one of those guys, though.
James Acaster
And they didn't involve.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, there were two people involved then, and they didn't communicate. Communication is key.
Ed Gamble
That's the main lesson to take from Romeo and Juliet. Definitely.
James Acaster
Yeah. That's what I think. Communication is key.
Jinkx Monsoon
It really.
James Acaster
That's.
Jinkx Monsoon
If the families had sorted it out. Anyway, there you go. I cracked it.
Ed Gamble
Finally. All the Shakespeare is there to be.
Jinkx Monsoon
You all can stop performing in there.
James Acaster
That. Is that why they keep doing Shakespeare?
Ed Gamble
They haven't tracked it yet.
James Acaster
What's this about?
Jinkx Monsoon
What is going on here?
Ed Gamble
People haven't studied it.
James Acaster
This.
Jinkx Monsoon
Keep Happening.
James Acaster
Your dream side dish. Jinx.
Jinkx Monsoon
Dauphinoise potatoes.
Ed Gamble
The king of potatoes.
Jinkx Monsoon
Truly.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, the prince.
Ed Gamble
The prince. So sorry.
Jinkx Monsoon
My grandma used to make scalloped potatoes that came from a box.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Where you just. They were dehydrated potatoes and there was a powder that you mixed in with some milk and poured it over the potatoes and baked them. And then when I learned there was a fancy version of this, scalloped potatoes were no good to me. Now it has to be dauphinoise.
James Acaster
Is that what you julienned your finger on?
Ed Gamble
Yes. I was making dauphinoise potatoes, using a mandolin to slice the potatoes thin. You can still see the scar there.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah, I have one on this. Well, no, it's gone. It must have fully healed. I had a little dent in this thumb for a long time because I was. I make ratatouille as my show off dish.
Ed Gamble
Nice.
Jinkx Monsoon
And one time I was really trying to show off, so I wanted the perfection from the mandolin, but I was running behind on time. And when it happened, I was so stunned that I looked at it. And then when the blood started coming, I was like, you?
Ed Gamble
No, not you.
Jinkx Monsoon
No. I cooked too much for this to be happening. And yet it did. And then I was screaming so many expletives that my flatmate at the time, he was like. When I heard the third one, I knew it wasn't normal cooking. Normally two or three normal expletives. A normal amount of screaming while cooking. This was an abnormal amount. And he came running. We bandaged me up. Luckily, no blood got into the vegetables and I rinsed him anyway.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, I think I got a lot of blood in the dofen ones.
Jinkx Monsoon
Did you still eat them?
Ed Gamble
We cooked them, but. Well, yeah, yeah, they were salty.
Jinkx Monsoon
You weren't eating raw bloody.
Ed Gamble
But I had to go to A and E, so.
Jinkx Monsoon
Oh, no. Did you have to get stitches?
Ed Gamble
Yeah, I got eight stitches in my thumb.
Jinkx Monsoon
I didn't need scissors. I just had a little coin missing.
Ed Gamble
Do you think? So your flatmate heard you swearing and then knew it was an accident in the kitchen?
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Gordon Ramsay is. If he ever cuts himself really badly, no one's ever going to know because he's always effing and dressing.
James Acaster
But he.
Jinkx Monsoon
But there are two Gordon Ramses. There's the American Gordon Ramsay, who has based himself off the devil.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
And I mean, like, that's the theme. He's the devil.
James Acaster
And then.
Jinkx Monsoon
Then there's the British Gordon Ramsay, and he's a much softer, gentler Gordon.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, he is.
Jinkx Monsoon
Why do you get his daddy and we get Drunk daddy.
Ed Gamble
I mean, he's still. He's still angry.
Jinkx Monsoon
You're his secret other family.
James Acaster
So I think over here. I think it's because he started over here and he was pretty. He wasn't nice.
Jinkx Monsoon
No.
James Acaster
But. And then America was like, great. Come over here.
Jinkx Monsoon
If you watch, like, side by side episodes, you like, these are these twin brothers.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
James Acaster
To amp it up for you guys. Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
You deserve it, I think. I mean, some of those kitchens.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. I don't know why anyone's going to Hell's. Like, they're restaurants, proper restaurants now. Hell's Kitchen. Right. People go to Hell's Kitchen. Yeah, but, like, why would you go to that?
Jinkx Monsoon
But is that like, his chain of restaurants?
Ed Gamble
Yeah, it is, but, like, the TV show is like, loads of shows. Chef's up the whole time.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah. But I would imagine the idea. Oh, what is the idea there? That it's all the perfect meals he's salvaged from other people out the bin.
Ed Gamble
He's got it all out the bin. No, I just think, like, it's got a, you know, a history of people up. I don't want to go to Hell's Kitchen.
James Acaster
No. I don't want to go to any of his restaurants. I think his cooking's awful. No. And I think he's awful, man.
Ed Gamble
He's got so many Michelin stars. He's got so many astonishing. I wouldn't go to any of the chain things. Sure. But he's got, like.
Jinkx Monsoon
I don't have strong feelings about Gordon Ramsay, but I do know, because my ex is a Brit, that Jamie Oliver took away your Turkey Twizzlers. And this was a huge thing.
James Acaster
This is the thing, right? Gordon Ramsay has been openly just a bully and horrible to everyone on his TV show. Oliver once tried to help people by saying, hey, maybe we don't eat these Turkey Twizzlers anymore. And still to this day, it haunts them. And everyone's like, fuck you, Jamie Oliver. Taking our turkey tweezers away. But everyone still likes Gordon Ramsay for being abusive. And horse.
Jinkx Monsoon
He told me, my ex told me they had a walkout. A bunch of little children.
James Acaster
They were like, give us back all
Jinkx Monsoon
Turkey Twizzlers, Jamie Oliver. I saw it on the news.
James Acaster
It was like they were trying to
Ed Gamble
give kids vegetables at school because they weren't getting any vegetables anywhere else. And the parents would turn up and, like, push pizza through the railings to their kids. Like they were feeding their own kids at a zoo.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
And that's just the most British thing that's Ever happened. It's like we. If we want to feed our kids all day, we will.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah, that sounds American to me. Shoving pizza through a fence. I mean, I guess we had to learn it from somewhere. Yeah.
Ed Gamble
All I remember, and I've probably said this on the podcast before, and it's been cut out. I remember the TV show where Jamie Oliver was trying to make everyone eat healthier at school.
Jinkx Monsoon
Naked Chef.
Ed Gamble
And. No, no, not that one. After that, he was not. He was not allowed to be the naked chef in the school show. Very. He was very much a clothes chef. They interviewed a kid who was eating so badly that they did a shit out their mouths. That's all I remember. There was a kid who did a shit out their mouth.
James Acaster
Yeah, not possible.
Jinkx Monsoon
It is. They did a Out their mouth drinks like as it. No, that is literally a South park episode.
James Acaster
Yeah, yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
And.
Ed Gamble
Well, it was also an episode of Jamie's School Dinners.
Jinkx Monsoon
I just. And this was on television. This was on your television.
Ed Gamble
Not the actual.
James Acaster
See the kids do the shit out. So I'm guessing the kid just said to Jamie Oliver, oh, out my mouth. Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Didn't I? Didn't I?
James Acaster
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Dopen was potatoes, but. Oh, I already had some salad.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
But I. I like a lot of vegetables, so I would also probably want a beet salad at this point too. With some goat cheese, some dried fruit and some nuts.
James Acaster
We'll throw that.
Ed Gamble
We can throw that in for sure. It feels like this. You could get a lot of this in Brazil, right?
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah, yeah. But it's not just me eating. Remember, it's me and Catherine and Alana and Corbin.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah. This is a dinner party now.
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James Acaster
Perfect. Your dream drink now, it was to be loads of martinis.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, it was gonna be Grey Goose martinis with a lemon twist. But now my favorite thing to drink. I really like the alcohol free Kylie Minogue champagne.
James Acaster
Wow. Wow. First.
Ed Gamble
First time.
Jinkx Monsoon
That's.
James Acaster
That's exciting.
Jinkx Monsoon
And. But also, you can't like, chug that between bites. So then I'd also need a diet Dr. Pepper on. On ice.
Ed Gamble
Yes.
James Acaster
Yeah, definitely.
Jinkx Monsoon
And I need an American amount of ice. Not your idea of what ice is in a drink. You all will. I have watched British people take a warm Pepsi Max off a shelf and just start drinking it. That is insane behavior to me.
James Acaster
Jamie Oliver took all our ice away, so we can't have it now.
Jinkx Monsoon
The room temperature soda thing doesn't make any sense to me, but someone told me once it's very European to drink it that way. And I'm like, does that make it taste better in your mind?
Ed Gamble
I said I would always go out of the fridge, I've got to say, but in a. In a pinch, I'd probably. I'd have a lukewarm Diet Coke.
Jinkx Monsoon
I like the ice, I think. And I really prefer. I don't like straws. I really prefer. My dream drink is this big.
Ed Gamble
Like a vase.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah, we call them Big Gulps in America. But I love when I've really been eating a huge glass of ice cold soda that I just ask any of my friends. It freaks people out.
Ed Gamble
We can get you a big Gulp for sure.
James Acaster
Yeah. Yeah, we'll get you a Big Gulp. Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Wonderful. Thank you.
Ed Gamble
I don't like when I'm in America and the ice is like crushed ice.
Jinkx Monsoon
Some people travel distances to go to the drive throughs that do the crushed ice because they love it.
James Acaster
I quite like the crushed ice.
Ed Gamble
You like the crushed ice? They just melt straight away. And then you're just drinking a watery. You're drinking a watery soda.
James Acaster
I guess you're right.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, I am right.
Jinkx Monsoon
You have to drink it fast. You have to be a chugger like me.
Ed Gamble
I'm a chugger, actually.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
You say that about me.
James Acaster
You don't chug. You do this weird thing where it's like just. It just. You take what looks like a normal sip and then half the drink's gone. I don't know how he's doing it.
Jinkx Monsoon
That too. It's because you're used to what, getting water on stage when you're gonna.
James Acaster
Yeah, yeah, I guess that's.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
James Acaster
All over your face.
Jinkx Monsoon
I really enjoy your dialect. You sound like one of the young ones.
James Acaster
Me?
Jinkx Monsoon
You sound a bit like Vivian from the young one.
James Acaster
Yeah, that's good.
Ed Gamble
That's a good.
James Acaster
I've been compared to him a lot. Like. Well, actually, no, not Vivian. Rick probably. Yeah. I get people compared to Rick a lot. Yeah, yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Vivian was my favorite.
James Acaster
I mean, I love, love. I love Vivian, obviously, but yeah, Rick.
Jinkx Monsoon
I guess your voice is closer to Rick's. A bit Drop Dead Fred.
James Acaster
Yeah, Drop Dead Fred. Yeah, A lot. When I. In my stand up show at the minute I do my hair up so it's this really messy and spiky and I've been compared to Drop Dead Fred.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
James Acaster
By people at Stage Door.
Ed Gamble
I watched that again recently.
Jinkx Monsoon
Imaginary friend I would have wanted as a kid.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. The one who stamps dog shit every.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, I was very shy, quiet kid, but I had a lot of internal monologues going on and I could have used someone to process that with.
Ed Gamble
I held that film in such high regard in my head. And then I'd watched it again recently and halfway through I was like, I shouldn't have watched this again.
James Acaster
Why? It's great film.
Ed Gamble
It's really not
Jinkx Monsoon
lot. It's got a lot that you are like, I guess I forgot this.
James Acaster
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
Ed Gamble
All the fun parts are still fun, but there's a lot of. There's a lot of stuff that ruins it a little bit.
James Acaster
Has it not aged well?
Ed Gamble
No, I don't think it hasn't. It's not like you. I don't watch it and go, oh, that's a bit dodgy. But it's just not a quality film.
James Acaster
I don't remake it. We should remake it.
Ed Gamble
Well, they were going to remake it for a bit.
James Acaster
What?
Ed Gamble
They were going to remake it.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, then what happened? What'd you do?
Ed Gamble
But no, it wasn't me. It was supposed to be with Russell. Brad Brand.
James Acaster
What happened?
Ed Gamble
I actually don't think it was even that. I think it was long before it just got canned. But I remember reading they were considering remaking it with Russell.
James Acaster
Sure.
Jinkx Monsoon
And they just realized before he had done horrible things.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Or revealed. They just realized it was going to be anyway because they watched Arthur.
Ed Gamble
Yes.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
I guess a film where Russell Brand sneaks around doing loads of stuff and everyone's pretending they can't see him is not necessarily the ideal situation.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
This podcast Gets dark. One of my favorite jokes my comedy partner ever wrote for me, it was for web show a billion years ago. But you have to really know your cinema to get it. But he wrote a joke that said you're becoming a real alcoholic. And not a fun alcoholic like in the movie Arthur, but a sad, depressing alcoholic like the remake of Arthur. Anyway, if you liked that.
Ed Gamble
Phoebe Cates is still beautiful, though.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah.
James Acaster
Respect. Shout out.
Jinkx Monsoon
She's such an icon for that film. But also for Gremlins. Gremlins. Gremlins holds up.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
I don't say shit about Gremlins.
Ed Gamble
And an icon for just being like, I'm done now.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah. I like people who know themselves.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
James Acaster
Who?
Jinkx Monsoon
Oh, oh, oh. Now, that's. Now, Rick Mayall is the only name I can hear, but, oh, my gosh. He was the comedian, the comedy actor. He played Seymour in the movie Rick Moranis, who also decided he was.
Ed Gamble
He went out. Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
I have a friend who we went to middle school and then high school together. He said he wanted to be a Broadway actor and a lawyer, and he was a Broadway actor. And then he said, one day, I think I'm done with this. And then he went to law school.
Ed Gamble
Amazing.
Jinkx Monsoon
And I have the utmost respect for people who are just like no one I have known my entire life. There's only one thing for me, and I haven't even considered anything else. The thought of, like, one day just being done and pivoting terrifies me because I have no other marketable skills.
James Acaster
I can't wait.
Jinkx Monsoon
I can't do simple math, James. I would never survive. Wait, you can't wait to get out?
James Acaster
Can't wait. Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
What are you gonna do next?
Ed Gamble
Lawyer, isn't it? You're gonna go to law school?
James Acaster
Yeah. Chunk from the Goonies.
Jinkx Monsoon
You have to. Well, you have to wear one of the wigs. Wigs here. If you become embarrassed or.
James Acaster
Good point. I think I'd suit that wig.
Jinkx Monsoon
I think you would.
James Acaster
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, maybe. Or maybe I just get the wig. Not even. Not even go. Because law school takes ages. So if I just get one of those wigs and just hang out, dress for the day.
Ed Gamble
Keep doing this. Keep doing this and just wear the wig during the records.
James Acaster
Yeah, yeah.
Ed Gamble
And I'll explain to all the other guests. He's a judge considering becoming a barrister, but he couldn't be bothered to do it, so he just wears the wig.
James Acaster
Yeah. So he's a genie, but he's also a barrister. Now you have to, like, factor for those Things.
Jinkx Monsoon
I just love British dialect. I worked. I worked with an actor named Fred Double in End of the Rainbow. And he has such a clear, articulate speaking voice and also a very thick accent from wherever he's from. And he will just say sentences that shouldn't be funny, but they're funny when he says it. Like someone was talking about a scene from one of the Wicked movies, and
James Acaster
he goes, is that from Wicked 1 or Wicked 2?
Jinkx Monsoon
And I just thought that was like. Even British people thought, yeah, that is funny.
James Acaster
That's funny.
Jinkx Monsoon
And then someone was talking about the musical six.
James Acaster
Is that the one with Anne Boleyn?
Jinkx Monsoon
That's why we laugh at your voices. Because it.
Ed Gamble
But Wicked 1 or Wicked 2 is funny anyway. Wicked 1 or Wicked 2?
James Acaster
Yeah, yeah, something like that especially. It's funny.
Jinkx Monsoon
I never saw Six, but I'm planning on seeing seven. You didn't say that. That's me riffing.
James Acaster
I love when adults call the first film Wicked 1 1.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
James Acaster
But as a kid, that's acceptable. To say Home Alone one, Home Alone Two. Yeah, but when you. But when you're an adult.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
James Acaster
To say Wicked one and Wicked two is like, come on.
Ed Gamble
Don't retroactively call it.
James Acaster
Yeah, don't call it Wicked one. It's not called Wicked. But, you know, it's not your dream dessert. We arrive at your dream dessert. Jinx. Are we back at the Cheesecake Factory?
Jinkx Monsoon
No.
James Acaster
See, last time I went to the cheap, I went to Cheesecake Factory. My friend Open Mike Eagle the rapper took me to Cheesecake Factory.
Ed Gamble
Pretty cool guy.
James Acaster
We ate our food and I said, let's get cheesecake. He went, nah. I was like, what? Cheesecake Factory? And he was like, no, I just wanted to come for lunch. Like, the savory food. I couldn't believe my ears. And you've just done the same thing.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, I've gone to the Cheesecake Factory so many times and never eaten the cheesecake because I'm always too full from the meal because of their portions. But one time I was on a date and he. For our day, it was like an in. Like we were just having dessert at my place and sitting and talking and other things happen. But anyway, for the dessert, he brought four slices of cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. And that was the first time I ever had cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. And it turns out it's good cheesecake.
Ed Gamble
That's the factory where they make it. That's like the main thing they do.
James Acaster
I'd pineapple upside down cake Cheesecake.
Ed Gamble
Oh, no.
James Acaster
Well, it's what the waiter recommended. I said, what would you recommend to the waiter?
Ed Gamble
Well, this guy's an idiot.
James Acaster
There was so much stuff. There's so many cheesecakes, I couldn't decide. I said, what would you recommend? You said, the pineapple upside down cake. Cheesecake.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
But he's saying cake twice in that it doesn't scan for me.
Jinkx Monsoon
The birthday cake. Cheesecake cake.
James Acaster
Yeah. The more cakes, the better, in my opinion.
Jinkx Monsoon
My dream dessert. I think I kept falling short on this one because. Oh, God. I think I'm trying to think of what I actually really, really like. And I think. I think I'm gonna be really annoying and say it's sticky toffee pudding with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce. It is the perfect dessert.
Ed Gamble
That's not annoying at all. It's obviously a popular dessert choice. But James. I felt James inhale then when he said I'd be really annoying. Cause he was worried that you were either gonna skip or pick a cheese board.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah, a cheese board. I only do that if I'm flying and they offer dessert. And I do that just to keep up appearances.
Ed Gamble
You don't want anyone on a flight to know you're having dessert.
Jinkx Monsoon
Normal day, any old meal, I'm gonna go for whatever lemon flavored dessert is on. If I get dessert at all. But I rarely get dessert. But when I'm at home and I eat dinner, dinner's not complete until I then eat some kind of ice cream or like two bowls of cereal. And I think it's because I'm a former alcoholic. My body still craves that, like, excess sugar at the end of the day. And I can't get sleepy sometimes until I have, like, a big fistful of candy before bed. It's not good.
Ed Gamble
Love it.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
What's your go to ice cream when you're at home?
James Acaster
And go to cereal, please.
Jinkx Monsoon
My go to cereal here has been Honey Nut corn Flakes. Yes, respects with oat milk. And then back in the States, I usually go for nostalgic cereal. So Apple Jacks or Golden Grahams. But I also like Special K with red berries. But your Special K here is a different formula. So make. I've moved on to Honey Nut.
James Acaster
Understood.
Ed Gamble
And we're sorry about that. We can only apologize.
Jinkx Monsoon
What you're doing.
James Acaster
Yeah. We talked about recently on here, we talked about the kind of this oat crunch cereal that I kind of found at Trader Joe's. They used to do it when I was growing up. These Little pockets of, like, these little oat pillows.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
James Acaster
And I really liked them. And then I couldn't find them. No, no, that's crazy.
Jinkx Monsoon
No, they're just.
Ed Gamble
That's crazy.
James Acaster
Okay, wind it in. These are. These are. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah, that was too much. Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Being mean to me.
James Acaster
Sorry. I've been mean to it, but it is crazy. It is crazy. Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah.
James Acaster
Tell them to wind it if you want to. But we talked about it on the podcast with the oak pillows. And then a man called Michael got in touch with me, who's a man who's got his head in his hands now. He used to deal me ipods. He used to get me ipod ipods.
Jinkx Monsoon
Deal you.
James Acaster
Yeah. When they stopped making them, he went to Ireland and he bought many.
Jinkx Monsoon
Did you need?
James Acaster
Oh, every now and again, they'd break, and Michael would always have a new one, and he would always come and give me an ipod. And he contacted me after we talked about the Oat Crunch cereal because he said that he used to love that growing up. And then he found a place that Waitrose basically started doing them again, and he'd go and buy them five boxes at a time. But now Waitrose has stopped doing them, so he had to phone the Waitrose helpline to complain that they'd stopped doing the cereal and that the man just had to explain to him that that was just that, and they can't do anything about it. They're not gonna bring them back anymore.
Ed Gamble
Well, luckily, Michael just buys things that are about to stop being made and just deals them to pieces.
James Acaster
Oh, my gosh.
Jinkx Monsoon
My mom always. She has a conspiracy theory that as soon as she likes something, it gets discontinued. And I refuse to let that become my story. But it keeps happening.
James Acaster
But I. Did you recently get into the work of Russell Brandt? Hey, no.
Ed Gamble
He's released a book.
James Acaster
Oh, yeah. You're not discontinued yet, Russell. Keep going, man.
Jinkx Monsoon
I just keep thinking about that. That Bible.
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James Acaster
Yeah. Amazing, amazing stuff.
Jinkx Monsoon
It was like, truly, like, how long are we going to let this happen? Like. And does he have a plan? It doesn't look like it. He never got anywhere with it. And I really wanted to see, like, where he was gonna land, but it was so clear he never was going to land anywhere. That it was like, I can't believe the things we're seeing people do openly right now. The standards are so low, thanks to people with a lot of airtime who really don't deserve it. And now it's just like, didn't we used to have some Decor. Didn't we used to at least? It's like, why are we still playing by the rules of the facade if they don't have to?
James Acaster
Yes, absolutely.
Jinkx Monsoon
Like they're not keeping the facade up anymore. So how can you expect, like, people. Guilty criminals can't even fake being good people convincingly on television vision.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
Who what hope for the rest of us?
James Acaster
You know, you're doing a show where all of you have to fake an acceptance speech at the end off the top of your head and just come up with it and you all nail it and then you see who wins when it goes out. He can't even recite from a book where it's already written in there. All he's got to do is choose a page.
Jinkx Monsoon
Choose any. Any page will give you something to work with. It's like, like I know people who do, like, cold readings from the Bible to just, like, get an answer on something. I don't know these people. I know they exist. Anyway, the point is. That's insane pageantry. My dream dessert. What did I say? Oh, sticky stuff and puny.
James Acaster
But your mum is always getting to stuff that's just about to be discontinued is what you were saying. And I interrupted with the Russell brand.
Jinkx Monsoon
Oh. So the solution to your problem is, is in America there is a company, their whole thing is oats. They're called Quaker Oats.
James Acaster
Yes.
Jinkx Monsoon
And they do oatmeal. They do oatmeal based products and they have cereal. That is the cereal you are looking for. Quaker brand oat squares.
James Acaster
This is Michael's problem. Maybe Quaker in America are doing them because Quaker and we have Quaker.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, what happened to your oat dependency here?
James Acaster
Yeah, it's gone back to the.
Ed Gamble
Well, the thing is, we have Quaker, but we also have Scott's oats. Scott, which is very popular because he's a big lad with a kilt doing shot put on the front of the box.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, then you need to be talking to him about making a cereal. Maybe this is what you pivot to oats. Now I wonder, is urgot still a problem?
James Acaster
That's when you win. Was it the Emmy? Yeah. Artificial menu back now.
Jinkx Monsoon
Jinx.
James Acaster
See how you feel about it.
Jinkx Monsoon
It's in there.
James Acaster
Yeah, I've written it down. You would like still water. You would like brown bread with room temperature butter from the Cheesecake Factory. You would like a carrot salad from Zadel with coconut shrimp. You would like full lobster steamed and a full crab cold and a pile of caviar to have in between. I can't Say the word. Tobico side dish, dopa bars, potatoes, and a beet salad with goat's cheese and nuts. Drink alcohol free Kylie Minogue champagne, which we didn't speak about.
Ed Gamble
I couldn't talk enough about the alcohol free Kylie Champagne.
James Acaster
You also like a Big gulp of diet Dr. Pepper with an American amount of ice. And dessert, a sticky toffee pudding with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce, which we also didn't talk much about the fact there's caramel sauce on the sticky toffee pudding there instead of custard.
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, custard, people get it wrong so often. I don't trust it. If it's too thick, it's like, why are you putting eggs on my. And if it's too thin, it's like, why'd you do that? Like ice cream's gonna do that.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, that's true. That's why I'd always prefer ice cream melting. And then you've got. You basically got custard and then the
Jinkx Monsoon
caramel sauce to marry the two.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
James Acaster
Yes.
Ed Gamble
Perfect.
James Acaster
That's a delicious menu. Do you feel good about that, hearing your meal back?
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know what I can do with the leftovers. Lobster rolls the next day, crab salad.
James Acaster
Delicious.
Ed Gamble
This is. That's why it's good that it's not your last meal, then, because you're gonna have leftovers.
Jinkx Monsoon
Yeah, but it was never gonna be my last meal because of my plan with the mortician.
Ed Gamble
Of course. Sorry.
Jinkx Monsoon
When we were dating.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
We were making out once, and he was rubbing the back of my head, and I said, are you studying my skull? And he said, a little bit, yes. And I said, what did you find out? And he told me, you have some of the most pronounced globial mastoid I've ever felt. Now, if that doesn't get a girl going.
James Acaster
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jinkx Monsoon
And if. And for all the single dudes out there, if you want a girl with pronounced globial masculines, she's right here.
James Acaster
Yeah. Go see o'. Mary.
Jinkx Monsoon
Wait by the stage door.
Ed Gamble
Do you use the globial mastoids in the Omari performance? Performance?
Jinkx Monsoon
Well, something's got to hold the wig on.
James Acaster
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Amazing. Thank you so much to Jinx for coming on the pod.
James Acaster
Thank you, Jinx. What a lovely menu. Great stories, great yarn, great accents.
Ed Gamble
Yes.
James Acaster
As well. And you didn't say gin. What more could we have asked for?
Ed Gamble
Yeah. Thank you, Jinx, for not saying Jinx.
James Acaster
Yeah, we appreciate that. So everyone should go and see o Mary. Yes.
Ed Gamble
17th of August to 26th September do go and see O Mary. Me and James will be there as well. Omarryplay.co.uk for tickets to see Jinx.
James Acaster
Yeah, you know, in the meantime, just everyone take care of yourselves, yeah? Be cool.
Ed Gamble
Eat food, yeah. Drink. Drink and love. Love@gunbowl.co.uk. Foreign.
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Episode: Jinkx Monsoon
Release Date: August 5, 2026
Guest: Jinkx Monsoon (Two-time RuPaul's Drag Race Winner, actress, singer, West End/Broadway performer)
This episode of the Off Menu podcast welcomes the iconic drag queen, performer, and comedian Jinkx Monsoon into the "Dream Restaurant." Hosts Ed Gamble and James Acaster invite Jinkx to craft her fantasy meal, from drinks and starters to sides, mains, and dessert. The conversation also delves into Jinkx’s career (with highlights about "O Mary" in the West End), culinary philosophies, and the cultural nuances of American vs. British food—and, of course, plenty of hilarious sidebars about ice, diary-ruining cereals, and imaginary escape-from-death-row plots.
| Timestamp | Segment / Topic | |-----------|------------------------------------------| | 05:20 | Jinkx breaks down her decision to stop eating mammals | | 11:15 | The shared mindset and community of “Marys” in "O Mary" | | 13:24 | Debate: Still vs. sparkling water and "essence" | | 17:32 | Jinkx’s skepticism of “prebiotic” sodas | | 23:57 | Carrot salad at Brasserie Zédel | | 27:04 | Jinkx reveals her dream dinner party guests | | 31:57 | Main course: lobster and crab with caviar | | 38:51 | Caviar, morticians, and death row escape plots | | 40:26 | Side dish: The power of Dauphinoise potatoes | | 44:49 | Jamie Oliver, Turkey Twizzlers, and British school lunches| | 49:07 | Dream drink: Kylie Minogue alcohol-free champagne & Big Gulp Diet Dr Pepper| | 59:29 | Dessert: Sticky toffee pudding | | 61:09 | Jinkx’s post-dinner rituals: cereal, ice cream, and sugar| | 65:51 | Quaker Oat Squares and lost cereal nostalgia | | 67:15 | Full dream meal recapped and reactions |
Drink:
Bread Course:
Starter:
Main Course:
Side Dishes:
Dessert:
Guests:
This episode is a feast of comic rapport, sharp observations, and gluttonous imagination. Jinkx offers a menu that is both decadent (seafood, caviar, dauphinoise) and personal (food memories, party guests, culinary quirks), all served up with irreverent wit. She brings candor about her own shifting values, comfort-eating rituals, and the joy of sharing great art and food with friends—even if some of them are celebrities she’s never quite met.
Memorable closing quote:
Ed Gamble (recap): "Do you feel good about that, hearing your meal back?"
Jinkx Monsoon: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know what I can do with the leftovers. Lobster rolls the next day, crab salad." ([67:59])
For show and tour details, see "O Mary" West End run 17 Aug–26 Sept, 2026.