Ben Schwartz

Summary

Podcast Title: Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster
Episode: Ben Schwartz
Release Date: July 23, 2025

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Introduction

In this lively episode of Off Menu, hosts Ed Gamble and James Acaster welcome the multifaceted comedian and actor Ben Schwartz to their whimsical dream restaurant. Known for his roles as Jean-Ralphio in Parks and Recreation and the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog, Ben brings a wealth of experience and humor to the conversation.

Ben Schwartz's Career and Projects

Ed Gamble and James Acaster delve into Ben Schwartz's expansive career, highlighting his involvement in various high-profile projects:

• "DNA": A highly anticipated comedy that Ben co-created with Sam Rockwell, which also stars talents like Vince Vaughn and James Marsden. James enthuses, “We know we're in good hands today. Very excited.” ([07:02])

• Voice Acting: Ben discusses his role as Sonic the Hedgehog, sharing humorous insights about embodying such an iconic character. When asked about competing with characters like The Flash, Ben quips, “No, Jim Carrey, I think, can absolutely destroy me. 100%.” ([20:32])

• Improv Shows: Ben elaborates on his improv tour, "Ben Schwartz and Friends", where he collaborates with fellow improvisers to create spontaneous comedic performances. He mentions, “We do it improv for an hour and a half on stage, me and three people.” ([72:22])

Anecdotes and Banter

Throughout the episode, the conversation is peppered with humorous stories and playful teasing:

• Alexa Mishap: Ed Gamble shares a hilarious incident involving his wife, Charlie, accidentally requesting fart sounds from Alexa in her sleep. “She said, Alexa, play fart sounds. And Alexa went, that was a wet one.” ([08:12])

• Impressive Impressions: Ben boasts about his ability to perform various impressions, even attempting a brief impersonation of Jesse J, though it humorously falls flat. “Hi, it's me, Taylor Swift. Everything's coming up Milhouse.” ([40:37])

• Dad's Quirks: James recounts amusing tales about his father’s unusual aversion to drinking water, leading to a playful improv scene where they joke about requiring ID to prevent James from getting too excited. “Do you want to try? This is the thing you didn't give to me. I will zap it to your head.” ([21:45])

Dream Menu Selection

The heart of the episode revolves around Ben Schwarz detailing his ultimate dream menu, selecting his favorite dishes and beverages:

• Starter: Ben kicks off with an exquisite choice, “An appetizer I loved is this place in LA called Capo. It's an Italian restaurant, and it's sweet corn ravioli. It's just like a decadent, beautiful little way to start. One of my favorite dishes ever in the universe.” ([35:30])

• Main Course: Opting for comfort, Ben chooses, “Cheeseburger is my favorite thing to eat. Anytime I go on the road, I always get a cheeseburger, fries, barbecue sauce, and a ginger ale. That's my comfort food.” ([41:42])

• Side Dish: Embracing adventurous tastes, Ben selects crispy okra, “Crispy okra from Khan in Portland. It's one of my favorite meals I've ever eaten my life.” ([55:40])

• Dessert: Despite being lactose intolerant, Ben indulges in his dream dessert, “A classic Sunday ice cream sundae. Cookies and cream or vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, marshmallow, a cherry on top, and nuts.” ([69:05])

• Drink: Preferring traditional flavors, Ben opts for an Old Fashioned, complemented by a gin and tonic at the end. “I usually like a little margarita every now and then. Margarita, come on. Salt on the rim.” ([62:16])

Interactive and Improv Fun

Towards the end, the trio engages in playful improvisational scenes, blending scripted elements with spontaneous humor:

• Improv Scene: Ben initiates a skit where James attempts to enter a venue without proper ID, leading to a humorous exchange about age verification. “Can I see your ID please?” ([74:00])

• Wrestling Jokes: The conversation takes a comedic turn towards wrestling, with Ed and James riffing on famous wrestling moves and scenarios. “You can always tell a little bit. When they ask at the top if you want still or sparkling water, you see a little glint in their eye.” ([49:32])

Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Ed Gamble and James Acaster express their appreciation for Ben Schwartz’s vibrant energy and contributions. They highlight upcoming projects, such as Ben’s show "DNA" and his ongoing improv tours, encouraging listeners to stay tuned for more exciting content.

James Acaster concludes with a nod to Ben’s entertaining presence: “Delicious menu, delicious conversation, beyond delicious. It tasted even better because we walked here.” ([78:32])

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Ed Gamble on YouTube Launch: “[00:00] Ed Gamble: Oh, hi James. Have you heard the news? … We’re on YouTube with the great and good. The coolest people in the world are on YouTube.”
• Ben on Cheeseburgers: “[41:42] Ben Schwartz: Cheeseburger is my favorite thing to eat. Anytime I go on the road, I always get a cheeseburger, fries, barbecue sauce, and a ginger ale.”
• James on His Father’s Water Aversion: “[27:39] James Acaster: Some water was brought over to the table. I poured my dad a glass. He went, no, no, no, I don't drink water.”
• Ben on Impressions: “[12:09] Ben Schwartz: Do you guys know that I'm incredible at impressions? You can do any impression. Name anybody.”
• Ed Sharing the Alexa Story: “[08:12] Ed Gamble: About two o' clock this morning, Charlie was sort of like tossing and turning around in the bed … And Alexa went, that was a wet one.”
• James on Dessert Preferences: “[60:33] Ben Schwartz: And then you can dunk. If we're in like an Italian restaurant, we can dunk and get some of that sauce in the end.”

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Whether you're a fan of Ben Schwartz’s comedic prowess or simply love exploring dream menus, this episode offers a delightful blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and culinary inspiration. Tune in to experience the magic of Off Menu with some of the brightest talents in comedy.

Transcript

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, hi James. Have you heard the news?

[James Acaster]

Oh yeah, go on.

[Ed Gamble]

You and I are modern boys. Because the Off Menu podcast is now on YouTube.

[James Acaster]

This is embarrassing.

[Ed Gamble]

Why is it embarrassing, man? You love YouTube.

[James Acaster]

I love watching clips on YouTube. Sure, now people can watch clips of off menu on YouTube. But it's embarrassing, man.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not embarrassing at all. It's really cool. We're on YouTube with the great and good. The coolest people in the world are on YouTube. Me, you, Logan Paul.

[James Acaster]

Who's Logan Paul? The dad from succession at off menu podcast. That's what Benito's calling us now. And we're on TikTok. This is embarrassing, man.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not embarrassing, man. We're cool. We're like Olivia, Rodrigo and Ed.

[James Acaster]

People have been asking us, battering us, bothering us. Actually, they want to watch the Stephen Graham super cut from the Stephen Graham episode so they can see all of his reactions to us. Everything that he did or Benito has bent to their whims and he's gonna put it on YouTube. He's gonna do it.

[Ed Gamble]

Follow us at off menu official on TikTok at Off Menu Podcast on YouTube.

[Ben Schwartz]

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[Ben Schwartz]

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[Ed Gamble]

Welcome to the Off Menu podcast. Taking the sweet cream of conversation, sprinkling over the sugar of friendship and blowtorching it with the flame of humor. That was good.

[James Acaster]

That's a gamble. My name is James Acaster. Together we own a dream restaurant and every single week we invite in a guest and we ask them their favorite ever. Start of main course, dessert, side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week our guest is Ben Schwartz.

[Ed Gamble]

Ben Schwartz, a wonderful comedian, actor. He's been in so many things.

[James Acaster]

We love James Iconic, iconic Jean Ralphio of course in Parks and Rec. Sonic the Hedgehog. Anyone heard of Sonic the Hedgehog?

[Ed Gamble]

Hello. Are you living under a rock?

[James Acaster]

Also really enjoyed him in After Party.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Don't want to give too much away about that series, but very, very good series.

[Ed Gamble]

Series one of the After Party.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Co starring with Jamie Demetriou.

[James Acaster]

Friend of the Pod.

[Ed Gamble]

Friend of the Pod. Who has been very eager for us to get Ben on. And look, we've always wanted Ben on.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a joy we finally made it happen. But Jamie's like, you got to get Ben on. He's so funny. He'd be so good. He really likes food. So we're very much looking forward to this one.

[James Acaster]

We know we're in good hands today. Very excited. However, if Ben chooses a secret ingredient, an ingredient which we have deemed to be unacceptable, we will still kick him out of the dream restaurant.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

And this week, the secret ingredient is.

[Ed Gamble]

Pork Knuckles. Pork Knuckles. Knuckles. Sonic.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Knuckles is a character in the Sonic franchise.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

And Ben is Sonic.

[Ed Gamble]

Ben is Sonic.

[James Acaster]

What a day that must have been.

[Ed Gamble]

Getting the Sonic job.

[James Acaster]

Getting the call. You're Sonic the Hedgehog. Wow.

[Ed Gamble]

Wow. We'll never get that call. We'll never know how that feels.

[James Acaster]

Well, they might reboot it again in the future and they might not want to do it.

[Ed Gamble]

They're not going to pick either of us, man.

[James Acaster]

Come on.

[Ed Gamble]

Look, I know you are Lars Penfield, but I don't think that it's a natural stepping stone.

[James Acaster]

I think Lars Penfield is a step. Look, when you think about how much of a step forward Lars Pinfield was from John the Mouse.

[Ed Gamble]

That's true.

[James Acaster]

Do you take the. An equal step forward from that?

[Ed Gamble]

And John the Mouse from Against Roland. Josh.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a big jump.

[James Acaster]

I was. I played a character whose name I can't even remember in the sitcom Josh in one episode. Yeah. Then I was John the Mouse. And an Amazon prime film.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Then I was Lars Penfield in the Ghostbusters franchise. I reckon it's two more steps till I'm Sonic the Hedgehog.

[Ed Gamble]

You're a franchise guy.

[James Acaster]

I just do franchises.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Cinderella.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Josh.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Part of the Wid. The Widdom Cinematic universe.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. It's a huge franchise. Josh Whitaker, he appears. It just expands the franchise. Yeah. Ben Schwartz has been in a lot of stuff, though, and has a lot of projects coming up that we're very excited about.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. We normally get, like, a really detailed sheet of stuff about one project, but with Ben, we've got three lines and it's three different projects.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. DNA.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

A comedy that I think Ben created.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

With Sam Rockwell. Also Mike and Nick. And Nick and Alice.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Which also features Vince Vaughan, James Marsden, and also, of course, Ben Schwartz and Friends, his improv show, which is touring.

[Ed Gamble]

Us and they've toured here quite recently.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And obviously Ben is Sonic.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I mean, how does this guy even fit in, guesting on podcasts with all these projects going on?

[Ed Gamble]

Madness. I mean, he's really fast. I suppose. So. You can just zoom around town.

[James Acaster]

That helps massively.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Being able to zoom around town in his special shoes. I'd like to zoom around town.

[Ed Gamble]

Would you like Sonic?

[James Acaster]

Like Sonic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you like to zoom around town?

[Ed Gamble]

I think so. I'd like to think I'd take a moment for myself now and again.

[James Acaster]

Sonic can, though. He can slow down.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

He's not always zooming around town.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I wouldn't want to be the Flash. I know the Flash can stop, but the Flash tends to zoom around town all the time.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, he's zooming cause he's stressed, I think a lot of the time.

[James Acaster]

Very, very stressed. Yeah. But Sonic maybe not as stressed. His friends with a nice little fox and a pink hedgehog as well.

[Ed Gamble]

Can I tell you something that happened last night? Cause I don't know if I'll get it into the conversation with Ben.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

About two o' clock this morning, Charlie, my wife, was sort of like tossing and turning around in the bed and it woke me up. And then she was fast asleep. And we have an Alexa thing next to the bed. And she said in her sleep, she said, alexa, play fart sounds. And that is something you can do.

[James Acaster]

Yes, my nephews have shown me that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And it went blue, blue and started loading up. And I went, charlie, what are you doing? And woke her up. She went, what? I went, you just asked Alexa something? And she said, yeah, to play rain sounds because I find it relaxing. I went, that's not what you did. And then as I said that, it went. And then Alexa went, that was a wet one. So I'm like incapacitated with laughter.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And Charlie's got no idea what's going on.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

It doesn't never plan it. She's like.

[Ed Gamble]

She went, alexa, stop. And Alexa went, okie dokie.

[James Acaster]

Okie dokie. You're. Alexa says.

[Ed Gamble]

So there you go. I thought I'd get that off my chest quickly.

[James Acaster]

That's brilliant. I love that.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm a bit tired today because I was woken up by fart sounds in the middle of the night. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

It's hard to get back to sleep after that. Imagine you're constantly thinking about how funny it was, how you meant to get back to bed. Well, there you go. And Alexa knew, really, that Charlie wanted rain sounds, so he gave a wet one. Yeah, yeah, Wet one. There you go. It's as close to rain as I can get with the fart noises.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyway. Should we crack on with this? Yes. This is the off menu menu of Ben Schwartz. Welcome, Ben to the Dream Restaurant.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, I can't believe I'm here. Whoa.

[James Acaster]

Welcome back towards to the Dream. But it's been here for some time.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, there's so much smoke in the room all of a sudden.

[Ed Gamble]

Pretty cool, right?

[Ben Schwartz]

That's crazy.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

How are you? Good.

[James Acaster]

What color's the smoke?

[Ben Schwartz]

The color is blue, of course. Yeah. I watched Aladdin when I was a kid, so of course it's going to be blue. And you're dressed. You have earrings on, but you're also very chic. English chic. Genie flavor is what I'm getting.

[James Acaster]

Thank you very much.

[Ben Schwartz]

Of course. Can you. Can you describe your outfit for me? Yes. Should I start with what's on your head? Because I've never seen anybody wear a hat like that.

[James Acaster]

Okay. Well, it's actually a tiara made of unicorn horns.

[Ben Schwartz]

I wasn't going to say anything. So it looks like a Macbeth's, like, crown, but all unicorn horns. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Ed killed them.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, good for you.

[James Acaster]

And harvested the horns for me to give me genie powers.

[Ben Schwartz]

What do you do with. Do they just become horses? You have a bunch of horses around?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, well, they're dead, so. I mean, they're corpses.

[Ben Schwartz]

All right. Regardless, couldn't you bring them back to life, you being a genie?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, I could have done, but I didn't wish for it, so they.

[Ed Gamble]

All just didn't have my wishes.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you ever. And listen. I haven't listened to enough episodes to understand. Do you ever use wishes for good, like, go back in time and, like, save people's lives or anything or.

[Ed Gamble]

No, there's a lot. I mean, it's all food based, really, so you'd have to sort of include a meal within the.

[Ben Schwartz]

What about poisoning someone who's created a lot of harm for people? You can do that. Have you done that as a genie?

[James Acaster]

No one's asked me. I would love to do it.

[Ben Schwartz]

You want to kill. You want destruction?

[James Acaster]

You would love back in time and kill someone with poison, but, like, a.

[Ben Schwartz]

Lot of smoke, you know?

[James Acaster]

I mean, who would you. If you had that wish? If I was like, oh, the big.

[Ben Schwartz]

Ones, I probably just hit off the big ones.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

I'll just probably hit off the big ones. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

We're talking.

[Ben Schwartz]

Who do you think The.

[James Acaster]

The Dolph.

[Ben Schwartz]

Sorry? You call him the Dolph?

[James Acaster]

Well, sometimes.

[Ben Schwartz]

You're talking about Dolph Lundgren. Would you go back in time to kill Rocky Four Star?

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Wow.

[Ben Schwartz]

This genie is.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you BLEEP it out?

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, we'll leave it all in.

[James Acaster]

People have to deal with it.

[Ben Schwartz]

Unbelievable.

[Ed Gamble]

Especially when we talk about killing Dolph Lundgren.

[Ben Schwartz]

Wow. This is the real deal.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Unbelievable.

[James Acaster]

Probably never get Dol Lin on the podcast now.

[Ben Schwartz]

Let's call him up. I bet we can get him.

[James Acaster]

Let's get him. Let's call him up.

[Ben Schwartz]

I bet we can get him.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

I'd be interested to hear what his app is, what his first appetizer is in his meal. Dolph Lundgren.

[Ed Gamble]

Have you got his number?

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, let's call him.

[Ed Gamble]

Dolph.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, Real quick.

[James Acaster]

All right, let's get.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, yeah, Call Dolph Lungren.

[Ed Gamble]

Ring, ring.

[James Acaster]

Is that. Is that dope? Sli.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you. Do you guys know that I'm incredible at impressions?

[Ed Gamble]

You can do any impression.

[Ben Schwartz]

Name anybody. It can be English. It can be Amer. Anybody you want to.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, I will.

[Ben Schwartz]

Immediately after you say the. Jesse J. The singer.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ben Schwartz]

You want me to do Jesse the singer? Yeah, of course. Here we go. Pretend you're calling Jesse J.

[James Acaster]

Bring. Hello. Hello, Jesse J.

[Ben Schwartz]

Hey, how are you?

[James Acaster]

I'm good.

[Ben Schwartz]

Anybody else you want to hear?

[Ed Gamble]

Weirdly, your impression of Jesse J. Was better than James's impression of a phone. I said bring.

[Ben Schwartz]

From the 30s, like, on the wall where you have to, like, turn the little thing to make it work. Yeah, I get it, JD all you know is old stuff. Well, thanks for coming down. I appreciate it.

[James Acaster]

Thank you for coming down. My gosh, this is very excited to have you on the podcast.

[Ben Schwartz]

I've heard of this podcast so many times from so many people I respect and love in comedy, so I'm very happy to see that. The chemistry is unbelievable in this room. You should see. The genie's going bananas. Right?

[James Acaster]

I am literally covered in bananas. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you have a different name when you're a genie? Are you yourself?

[James Acaster]

Oh, good. Yeah. Good question.

[Ed Gamble]

No one should I call you ever asked that?

[Ben Schwartz]

What should I call you? You're a genie, so you're not yourself.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, well, I'm a bit like Rumpelstiltskin in that if you guess my name, then you have control over me. Is that how it works?

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay. That you haven't read Rumpelstiltskin. That's.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, I've read it either.

[James Acaster]

If he gets his name, he lets you go. Is he trapped? A woman. He starts making a floor spin. A wheel.

[Ben Schwartz]

Is this what the show is?

[James Acaster]

He stamps on the floor. Yeah, we tried, remember?

[Ed Gamble]

We try and guess what happens in Rumple.

[Ben Schwartz]

Still different fairy tales. Okay. What happens let's do Three Bears.

[James Acaster]

Let's do Three Bears.

[Ben Schwartz]

Remember what happens in Three Bears?

[James Acaster]

Oh, definitely.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay. What happens in Three Bears? I'll set it up for you. You tell me what happens. Obviously, a woman goes. This little girl. Sorry, you're right. It's not a woman. You're right. It's Red Riding Hood goes in there and there's three bears.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

And then what happens?

[James Acaster]

They all. One of them.

[Ben Schwartz]

Wow.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, they're not there for a start.

[James Acaster]

Oh, they're not there.

[Ben Schwartz]

That's smart.

[James Acaster]

That's what threw me off.

[Ben Schwartz]

We should start by saying they're not there.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, they're not there. Which is a bold move.

[Ben Schwartz]

A huge. She goes in there. She's breaking.

[James Acaster]

So how three of the main characters not be there?

[Ed Gamble]

But we're fine. We're fine with saying it's Red Riding Hood. Right. We're going with that.

[Ben Schwartz]

I don't know if that's right. Is it?

[Ed Gamble]

No, it's Goldilocks. So is that true? Yeah, it's not Red Riding.

[Ben Schwartz]

This is true. We don't know any. We don't know anything. We must know one. Name one. What's the most popular.

[James Acaster]

Hold on.

[Ben Schwartz]

Kid story.

[James Acaster]

The Three Bears aren't there and Red Riding Hood's not there.

[Ben Schwartz]

No. So basically, we're in an empty house. This is like the movie up without the old man. It's just an old house just hanging out.

[James Acaster]

Even sadder.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

The opening montage is very dull.

[Ben Schwartz]

Very dull. It's just blank, different rooms.

[Ed Gamble]

Red Riding Hood is the one who.

[James Acaster]

Goes to visit the grand over the years.

[Ben Schwartz]

What did Red Riding Hood do? Grandma.

[Ed Gamble]

But it's a wolf. So Grandma's not there?

[Ben Schwartz]

No. Man, everybody's missing something in these things.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I suppose Grandma is there because she's in the wolf's stomach.

[James Acaster]

A lot of fairy tales include someone not being there.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. Being eaten. Anyway, Jeannie, lovely to meet you.

[James Acaster]

Lovely to meet you.

[Ben Schwartz]

I can't wait. Thank you for using your powers today.

[James Acaster]

Oh, we're very excited as well that you got a number of projects coming up, Ben, that we're dying to talk about.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, wow.

[James Acaster]

Very excited about all of them. I'm excited that you're doing about this DNA project with Sam Rockwell. Okay, that's what I'm excited about.

[Ben Schwartz]

It's just announced. Just now.

[Ed Gamble]

Announced.

[James Acaster]

So we've got announcement.

[Ben Schwartz]

This is the. Well, it's the second announcement. One was two years ago when I sold it to be. To write it. Oh, my God. Yeah. And especially with like. Yeah, please. You know. How much you get paid for writing not. Not a high budget movie. And then it was me and Sam and then we attached Yorma, who is amazing, who probably has been on the show. If not should be. Have you had any Lonely island guys or.

[James Acaster]

No, we've had no Lonely Island. We'd love it. I'd probably geek out a bit too much about Lonely island songs, so best it doesn't happen.

[Ed Gamble]

James gets really geeky around some people.

[Ben Schwartz]

Really?

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Are you music people?

[James Acaster]

Yes. I like. You didn't give a fuck about me.

[Ben Schwartz]

So it's like, oh, listen, you have no idea. You don't care.

[James Acaster]

The amount of things we're holding back on now, Ben. You have no idea.

[Ben Schwartz]

Seems like nothing. You have to look at a piece of.

[James Acaster]

We told our friend Nish yesterday is he's a comedian. Nish Kumar. But like, we talked to the show coming on. Yeah. End of the show. Absolutely. And then we spent like about half an hour just doing John Ralphio quotes.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, that's exciting.

[James Acaster]

So, you know, believe me, we're holding back a lot on geekdom at the minute.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay. I can't wait. I can't wait for you to explode.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. If Nish was here, he would be. We can call him up.

[Ben Schwartz]

I don't know why we keep threatening to call people. I don't think I've ever been on a podcast where we call people Nish.

[Ed Gamble]

We're bringing back. We're bringing back pranks.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, wow. Is this.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Is this like the. What was it called? Not the Farty Boys. What was it called? The Jerky Boys. Did you guys have that? Maybe it was too. I'm too old.

[Ed Gamble]

We have the Farty Boys.

[Ben Schwartz]

How old are you guys? You're younger than me by year.

[James Acaster]

39.

[Ben Schwartz]

39. Okay. We're close. You're younger than that.

[Ed Gamble]

38.

[Ben Schwartz]

38.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

When's your birthday? Let me guess. I do not know either. All right, Ben, I don't know yours. I will guess all three of your birthdays.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ben Schwartz]

Separately.

[James Acaster]

Okay. Okay.

[Ben Schwartz]

This is a special skill that I do.

[James Acaster]

Yes. Yes.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it like the impressions?

[James Acaster]

Then It'll be perfect.

[Ben Schwartz]

April 13th.

[James Acaster]

Not far off.

[Ben Schwartz]

What is it? That's correct.

[James Acaster]

Right?

[Ben Schwartz]

That means I'm within two and a half weeks. Okay.

[James Acaster]

Okay.

[Ben Schwartz]

If I get within two and a half weeks. That's unbelievable. Ben, it's crazy. You didn't even react. You guys are too British. That's unbelievable.

[Ed Gamble]

This is a skill.

[James Acaster]

He doesn't react to anything.

[Ed Gamble]

That's unbelievable.

[Ben Schwartz]

That's true.

[Ed Gamble]

That's Right.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay. Give me a second.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Ben doesn't react to anything. Just don't ever take it personally with him. We've been doing this podcast for a long time. He just sits there like he's not coining it in.

[Ben Schwartz]

God, you laughed at the genie part. You laugh every time at the genie part.

[James Acaster]

No, he hates the genie part. I always hear him going predictable.

[Ben Schwartz]

July 6th.

[James Acaster]

January 9th.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, you got the J. September 10th. No, October 4th.

[Ed Gamble]

But hang on. You got the number, right?

[James Acaster]

I. I think in your head, you saw. For me, it begins with J and you saw the number nine and you flipped upside down.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, And I was trying to think. I was trying to. January 6th, the big thing that happened in America and DC, I was like, you're definitely born around that time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

On that day.

[Ben Schwartz]

You're the 10th. But it's not of that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

February 10th. No.

[Ed Gamble]

Much. Oh, so close, though, to get the tent straight.

[Ben Schwartz]

Is this what the podcast is?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

It's 100. What? The podcast.

[Ben Schwartz]

I love this. I love this.

[James Acaster]

I love how you're. You're initiating these games and then you ask us, is this what the podcast is?

[Ed Gamble]

We've got two more projects to talk about.

[James Acaster]

Yes. Sorry.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, sorry. DNA. So we're. We just attached Jorma, and we're eeking towards a green light, which is very exciting. And we haven't. I'm not allowed to say what it's about yet. It's. It's under wraps. The pot. The plot is under wraps.

[Ed Gamble]

That's cool.

[Ben Schwartz]

But I wrote it. I've written many drafts of it, but the first draft was written years ago for Searchlight. And then we attached Party Over Here, which is Yorma, Andy, and Akiva. And then we attached Jorm as director. And now we're fixing the script up to hopefully shoot with me and Sam Rockwell, who's won an Oscar, and he's.

[James Acaster]

Doing a movie, Scar for free. Billboards. Oh, yeah, he was. He was the.

[Ed Gamble]

Here we go.

[James Acaster]

He was great in a Green Mile, remember?

[Ben Schwartz]

Very good. Yeah, he was.

[James Acaster]

When I first saw him, and I.

[Ben Schwartz]

Was like, he was in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is as lead thug.

[Ed Gamble]

Now I'm interested.

[Ben Schwartz]

You got to see a picture of me. He's amazing. He's wearing a white T shirt, and he has, like, cigarettes underneath his white shirt.

[Ed Gamble]

Always.

[Ben Schwartz]

He's like a kid.

[Ed Gamble]

Coolest thing.

[Ben Schwartz]

The coolest.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

God.

[James Acaster]

Mike and Nick and Nick and Alice. Does the name Vince Vaughan mean anything to you?

[Ben Schwartz]

A little bit. Did a little role in that. We just wrapped that. That was very fun. I. There's a very. Ben David, who directed it, did Scott Pilgrim, the Animated Series and is a genius. And he called me and he had this really fun role and he pitched it to me and showed me his storyboards, and it was so cool. I was like, gotta do it. So I did that. That was really fun. James Marsden is in that. Who's also in sonic.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ben Schwartz]

1, 2, and 3.

[James Acaster]

Did you. Is this your first time meeting James Marsden face to face? Because in Sonic, your cartoon.

[Ben Schwartz]

That's true. This is. I met him during publicity. But you're right.

[James Acaster]

Must be weird.

[Ed Gamble]

I like to imagine you on set in Sonic, just sort of painted blue, walking around, doing the voice.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. That's what. I'm just hanging out.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

I don't smoke cigarettes, but I imagine I'm smoking cigarettes. Smoking cigarettes, being like, all right, another one. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

I feel like that could be me.

[James Acaster]

Do you think you can. If you had to be Sonic in real life, you could do it.

[Ben Schwartz]

Tell me what that means. Take me through what that means and I'll tell you. Yes or no.

[James Acaster]

Run really fast. Run into all the coins. Run upside down.

[Ben Schwartz]

Rings, coins. Is Mario. Keep going. Anything else you want to.

[Ed Gamble]

Getting hit and dropping rings everywhere.

[Ben Schwartz]

There you go. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. Picking up my barrel and throwing it like Donkey Kong.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And you have to defeat Robotnik at the end of Robotnik is Jim Carrey.

[Ben Schwartz]

Jim Carrey is amazing.

[James Acaster]

So do you. Could you beat him in a fight in real life?

[Ben Schwartz]

No. Jim Carrey, I think, can absolutely destroy me. 100. You ever see Truman Show?

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

You can do anything.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And Truman Show. Does he beat someone up in Truman Show?

[Ben Schwartz]

No.

[James Acaster]

He probably gets his ass handed to him a lot.

[Ben Schwartz]

He does. But then that's kind of by weather and by people.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Ed Harris is pretty mean to him, actually. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Wears very small glasses. Do you remember how small his glasses were, Honey Glasses? Yeah. Two little monocles tied together. Great movie, though. That was one of the first. Him and Robin Williams, for you guys, are both comedians. Him and Robin Williams doing drama was such a big deal for me to see because growing up, I'd never seen a comedian do drama before. And then I saw Robin Williams do it and I saw Jim Carrey do it. I was like, oh, we're allowed to do both.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

And it was a huge eye opener. And so, Jim, those. That. And eternal sunshine was huge to see as a kid.

[James Acaster]

I spoke to David Cross recently on his podcast.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yep.

[James Acaster]

And he Would not. I kept saying to him, every now. You know, how often a week do you think to yourself, I was in eternal sunshine? And he's like, never.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, really?

[James Acaster]

I was like, come on.

[Ben Schwartz]

It has to be all the time.

[James Acaster]

Come on. I would think it all the time.

[Ben Schwartz]

All the time.

[James Acaster]

Now I'm trying to quote one of his lines to him. I am building a birdhouse.

[Ben Schwartz]

Very good.

[James Acaster]

We wouldn't have any of that.

[Ed Gamble]

No, he didn't.

[James Acaster]

He didn't know biting.

[Ben Schwartz]

No, he didn't want to play with you. I get it.

[James Acaster]

We haven't tried to guess your birthday.

[Ben Schwartz]

Women try to guess my birthday.

[James Acaster]

We haven't. Women do.

[Ed Gamble]

Women do. Women try to guess your birthday.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you want to try? This is. I think you guys can get it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

I'll zap it to you. This is the thing you didn't give to me. I will zap it to your head.

[Ed Gamble]

I was zapping, man.

[James Acaster]

Look at me.

[Ben Schwartz]

You were not.

[Ed Gamble]

I was that.

[Ben Schwartz]

You were zapping the number.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Zap it into my head.

[Ben Schwartz]

I'm really doing it.

[James Acaster]

Okay.

[Ben Schwartz]

It's in your head. I can see it. Just say the first thing you're thinking of.

[James Acaster]

September.

[Ben Schwartz]

This is unbelievable.

[James Acaster]

Is it September?

[Ben Schwartz]

Keep going. I'm not gonna say yes or no till you're done.

[James Acaster]

Are you fucking with me?

[Ben Schwartz]

It doesn't matter. Keep going. Just whatever you feel.

[James Acaster]

The 15th. Google it, Benito. Google it. 15th of September.

[Ed Gamble]

No. You are kidding me.

[Ben Schwartz]

You must have looked it up before.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I looked up.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, I saw. But when I said, you calling this. He was looking it up.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, I left just enough time.

[Ben Schwartz]

I thought you were just on Twitter for some reason.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

I don't know. The genie just goes on Twitter for no reason.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd put a little mark, a little sticker on in my head, going, like, be horrible to James afterwards and really take him to task for going on his phone during the podcast, because he's never. He's never done that before.

[Ben Schwartz]

I couldn't believe that. Really?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

It's really rude. I was like, oh, I guess this is what. Everybody's chill. Everybody's chill here.

[Ed Gamble]

It must have felt like a sort of cool American, like, bro podcast.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

They're all in there.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

It feels like. Yeah, I'm sure their podcasts. Everybody's on their phones. Right.

[James Acaster]

But I thought, I'll look up Ben's birthday.

[Ben Schwartz]

You did that so well. You delivered that so well.

[James Acaster]

Then later on, I'll. I'll bring it up. But I thought I'd do it now, because I didn't want the whole podcast for you to be sitting there going, that gum's on his phone.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, sure, I'm happy to.

[Ed Gamble]

I didn't like it. No. Even though it gave us that moment, I still don't like it.

[Ben Schwartz]

Of course not. Would you take it back in an instant? Yeah, of course. Oh, wow. Live and die by the sword.

[James Acaster]

It's working for me that one of.

[Ed Gamble]

Your genie wishes to be go back in time and stop and do it.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. I use one of my three wishes to make you never look at your phone.

[James Acaster]

Poison myself.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. A food based poisoning.

[James Acaster]

Are you much of a foodie, Ben?

[Ben Schwartz]

I am. I love food. So the three of us tour comedically and I do a improv show called Ben Schwartz and Friends. And I told Toro Lever. I came here a couple times and one of the things I do is I bring three improvisers with me and I try to go to a fancy and beautiful restaurant in every city we go to. So I have a Google Doc of all the restaurants I've been to, rating them my favorite dishes there. And if we love it, we go back. If not, we explore. So I, I love food, but it's more of like a new thing. I didn't really have money before to, to eat the type of meals that we're eating now. And now when we're on tour, I just feel like it's like I want to show those guys how much I appreciate they're coming out. And so we go out fancy whenever we go on tour.

[James Acaster]

What are the other improvisers who, like, out of all your improv friends that you bring out with you, who's the biggest foodie? Who? You're like, this person's got.

[Ben Schwartz]

Great question. Well, it's almost different because the people who love it the most are the people who aren't foodies. So like we went to a restaurant in Toronto, Matty Matheson, who should have, who's a chef and hilarious on the bear, he has a restaurant in Toronto. He has many. Has like 20,000 restaurants, but he has one called Prime Seafood palace. And one of the dishes was, I believe, ice cream with caviar on it. And like anytime we go to a place that has like something that none of us have tasted before, that's when it's the most exciting. It's almost more exciting when someone never goes out like that, then we have the most fun ever because we're tasting things we've never.

[Ed Gamble]

Also, if you're all improvisers, you can't turn anything down, can you?

[Ben Schwartz]

No. We have to. That's right. We can't turn down an idea like Morgan Spurlock.

[Ed Gamble]

Madsen's in the back just being like caviar on ice cream. See if they'll eat that.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. That's literally. We have to say yes. This is a great line. You're absolutely correct. We'll eat anything. But it's been one of the most fun things. And because you talk to. It's like, you know, a bunch of comedy people talking and, like becoming friends and it's just great.

[Ed Gamble]

Prime Seafood palace is a restaurant I've not been to. I've never been to Toronto, but it's one of the restaurants I follow on Instagram and just look at the pictures.

[Ben Schwartz]

Is that true? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What other restaurants do you follow?

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, a lot of Matty Mattison's stuff. Actually his burger. His burger place as well. Sure.

[Ben Schwartz]

You gotta get him on the show.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Oh, God, yeah. He's on the list. He's on the list.

[Ben Schwartz]

Let's get him. Get him on the phone.

[James Acaster]

Get him on the phone. Let's get him on the phone. Bring.

[Ben Schwartz]

Hello, It's Charlie. Is it always Charlie xcx? Oh, no, Jesse. Jessie J.

[James Acaster]

Earlier.

[Ben Schwartz]

Sorry.

[Ed Gamble]

Charlie xcx.

[James Acaster]

That's Charlie XCX now.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

You could tell difference, right?

[James Acaster]

We always start with still. A sparkling water.

[Ben Schwartz]

Still can't do sparkling bubbles. Acid reflux bubbles up my stomach. Makes me feel full before I'm full.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no.

[Ben Schwartz]

Same with not drinking too much. When I eat a real meal, I will only have like one or two beverages and usually save it for the end.

[Ed Gamble]

Save the beverages for the.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, because it'll fill me up and then I'm full. By the way, can we talk about a tasting menu thing? Have you guys? I love the idea of a tasting menu, but it gets me so full by the end that I. The experience is sometimes ruined because I'm so uncomfortable going home. Is that true? False. Do we agree?

[James Acaster]

Absolutely.

[Ed Gamble]

I. I don't get full. Really?

[Ben Schwartz]

Really? Yeah. I can see you as one of those people can just eat everything.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, God, yeah. Plow through it. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

What'd you eat for breakfast this morning?

[Ed Gamble]

I didn't have breakfast, actually.

[Ben Schwartz]

Wow. Really playing the game. Well, I can eat anything.

[James Acaster]

Would you take it out on your improv tour?

[Ed Gamble]

I didn't know we were doing improv. I thought we have an honest chat.

[Ben Schwartz]

No, we are having an honest. You should never tell with these guys, do you? Fast or certain?

[Ed Gamble]

Not deliberately, no. I just think because it's an early morning record, so I wanted to sleep as long as before I came, so.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, that's smart.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

So you're gonna. You're just gonna absolutely eat something right now.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. James is making his own jokes, laughing at his own.

[James Acaster]

I'm looking at bad because I'm trying to get reactions out of him. After it was, like, established that you can't get a reaction out of it.

[Ben Schwartz]

Benny's laughing all the time.

[James Acaster]

So I deliberately did a bad joke, and he looked at Ben.

[Ben Schwartz]

You ever get better microphone or no? You never get better microphone.

[James Acaster]

He doesn't want to talk on it ever. He's very reluctant to talk. He doesn't like it when producers talk on podcasts, which is fair enough.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, I understand that. Do you want to say. You want to say something about it?

[James Acaster]

And actually, a lot of people.

[Ed Gamble]

The microphone is now in Ben's face. He absolutely hates it.

[Ben Schwartz]

Still water, please.

[James Acaster]

Still water. Yep. I found out recently my dad. So I went out for breakfast with my dad yesterday.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

Some water was brought over to the table. I poured my dad a glass. He went, no, no, no, no, thank you. I don't drink water. I didn't know this about him. And he went. He said, whenever I have to drink it, I hold my nose.

[Ben Schwartz]

Wait, how do you go your whole life without knowing that about your dad?

[James Acaster]

Well, I didn't know that.

[Ben Schwartz]

That cannot be the first time your dad has refused water in the 40.

[Ed Gamble]

So are you going back through all your memories and going, have I ever seen water?

[James Acaster]

But, like, wait, wait, this is.

[Ben Schwartz]

This is too big. This is too big for you to gloss over your entire. You said you're 39? 38.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ben Schwartz]

39 years old. You were. You. Is this the father that raised you and everything? Okay, so you've been around the table 100 times. You've been to a thousand restaurants.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

You've never seen your dad hold his nose and drink water and been like, hey, Pop?

[James Acaster]

No.

[Ben Schwartz]

Really?

[James Acaster]

No, I've never seen my pop.

[Ed Gamble]

I think if you'd met James's dad, this wouldn't seem as big.

[Ben Schwartz]

Get him on the phone. Hello?

[James Acaster]

Hi, dad.

[Ben Schwartz]

Hey, it's Katy Perry. Just a lot of pop icons are fun.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. But, like, I mean, I remember once he was, like, trying to lose some weight, and he was like, I'm not drinking water because it's a con.

[Ben Schwartz]

It's a con.

[James Acaster]

It says it's a con. You put on. Your body just retains it all. You put on too much weight. I'm not drinking Water. I remember that happening.

[Ben Schwartz]

And wait, so what does he drink? So he's not drinking water. How is he keeping himself hydrated?

[Ed Gamble]

Hot chocolate.

[James Acaster]

I mean, definitely he'll be drinking hot chocolate.

[Ben Schwartz]

Really?

[James Acaster]

And, like, he'll be drinking a whole bunch of stuff that puts on way more weight than water does.

[Ben Schwartz]

This is so funny. He'll drink tea, which is water. Just hot water.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, he would drink that. Coffees.

[Ben Schwartz]

Don't tell him it's just hot water.

[James Acaster]

Oh, he ordered an orange juice at the breakfast.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

And here's how he ordered it. He said to the waitress, there's absolutely no rush on this, but I'd love an orange juice in the next five minutes. So we had an obvious juice. He had a coffee.

[Ed Gamble]

Didn't hold his nose for either.

[James Acaster]

Didn't hold his nose. He loves it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

But it has no smell. Water has no smell. I don't understand what you're. Usually you do that when something smells, so you don't want to taste the smell.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. He hates it.

[Ed Gamble]

Or. Yeah, maybe it goes up his. Maybe it sort of comes out the back of his mouth and down his nose like you're swimming one of those things.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Pinchers.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it's really smart.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, it's really smart.

[James Acaster]

Schwartz poplars or bread?

[Ben Schwartz]

Poplubs or bread? Yes. What is a Pablo's As.

[Ed Gamble]

As is tradition, when James screams poppadoms or bread.

[Ben Schwartz]

What is a poppadom?

[James Acaster]

It's when you go to an Indian restaurant, they get. Give you those at the start of the meal before the food comes out. They might bring you a big, like, big round crisps.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, I love those.

[James Acaster]

And you smash them.

[Ben Schwartz]

But I love it. I love a bread. I love bread. Books have bread. Do I get choose.

[James Acaster]

You can get whatever bread you want. It could be a specific one that you've had.

[Ben Schwartz]

By the way, when I come to England, the most fun thing is eating bread, because you get bread and then you get, get. You have your butter, you have your marmalade, you have your rat. Like, it's. It's like a whole. When you get bread in America, it's just like they throw it on here. It's like a beautiful presentation. It's gorgeous.

[Ed Gamble]

But you're going to nice places as well. We've already. If you're traveling, you're going to nice places.

[Ben Schwartz]

That's true. I'm trying to. Or the hotel. When you get like breakfast at your hotel, they'll give you, like, something. But I feel like every breakfast here has at least Some like strawberry jam or marmalade and butter for bread.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

You know the other thing I love, anytime we come here, like if you go to a hotel, the. The, like places where you put the towels are hot. Love that invention. Oh, yeah, that. I don't know why we don't do that.

[James Acaster]

Do you just put the towels on there or do you put other things on there?

[Ben Schwartz]

I put my balls on there.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

I'm giving you what you want. I don't know why. I don't know.

[James Acaster]

Where are your balls going? Yeah, in every. In everything we talk where your balls are.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm annoyed.

[Ben Schwartz]

Papadoms.

[Ed Gamble]

You say, can we just go back to the water quick?

[Ben Schwartz]

Of course, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Are you going to put your balls in there?

[Ben Schwartz]

In the water? Yeah, I'm going to plug my nose and put my balls in the water. Yeah, I got to plug my nose before I put my balls in the water. Yeah, absolutely. But if I'm doing that, I get sparkling. If it's for. If it's for my boss, I'd get sparkles.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Massaging my mouth a little bit.

[James Acaster]

100.

[Ed Gamble]

So we're doing a separate menu today as well as your dream menu. We're doing. What would you rather put your balls in?

[Ben Schwartz]

And this is the show. I didn't introduce this. This is the show.

[James Acaster]

I asked Jake to put anything else on the heated towel back and you said bubbles.

[Ben Schwartz]

I just figured that's what you want. You were like winking at me.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. I'm pointing at your own balls.

[Ben Schwartz]

I'm gonna say, you're right. I have the S end everything.

[James Acaster]

Put it into my balls. I whisper, but your balls, it's fine.

[Ben Schwartz]

Remember Roger Rabbit when he goes like, shave and a haircut and Roger Rabbit has to finish it? That's like me. My friend Gil Ozer always uses that as a context. It's like we have to finish the joke, whatever it is, but you always.

[Ed Gamble]

Finish it with your balls. Yes.

[Ben Schwartz]

No matter what the joke is. Knock, knock.

[Ed Gamble]

Is that.

[Ben Schwartz]

Who's that, Charlie? Xox.

[James Acaster]

Xox, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

It's a different Charlie.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, she's friendlier with the balls.

[James Acaster]

There you go.

[Ben Schwartz]

Ben's almost laughing. Ben's having a great time. I'm gonna pop on the mic. Not today, Ben. Hey, man, I would do bread. I love bread and butter.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, the specific type of bread. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Or I like a whole wheat in the morning. I'll do that. But a croissant when I'm here. You guys have the best pastries. Also and I go crazy for that. But bread and butter, I usually always start always have a little bit. And then we could dunk. If we're in like an Italian restaurant, we can dunk and get some of that sauce in the end.

[Ed Gamble]

I think we can do this whole thing as a platter for you. All those different breads, is that okay? Some oils, Is that okay with the g?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

You have a bread platter and. And be dunking them and stuff up.

[Ben Schwartz]

Thanks guys.

[James Acaster]

Putting your balls in the dips. If you got all the different dips, are you putting your balls in those?

[Ben Schwartz]

I didn't say the balls and the dips, but do you want me to do that?

[James Acaster]

Well, I guess we have to ask.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay, I guess then I would slowly lower myself into the series of dips you put in front of me. Like a double dare obstacle course. As you're asking. Well, work on my quads. Really get a good down. Like get really low squat.

[Ed Gamble]

Bamic.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, that's good. Yeah. This is that. This is the podcast now.

[Ed Gamble]

This is genuinely is closer to what we normally do.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Puns about bulls.

[Ben Schwartz]

That's great. That's great.

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[Ed Gamble]

The McDonald's Snack Wrap is back. You brought it back.

[Ben Schwartz]

Ranch snack wrap.

[Ed Gamble]

Spicy snack wrap. You broke the Internet for a snack.

[James Acaster]

Snack wrap is back.

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[Ben Schwartz]

It's not a demo.

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[James Acaster]

Your dream starter.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay, Dream starter. There's. Okay. I'm gonna name some restaurants that I went to also.

[James Acaster]

Yes, please.

[Ben Schwartz]

I feel like the specificity helps on this podcast because you two are very much into food. An appetizer I loved is this place in LA called Capo. It's Italian restaurant, and it's sweet corn ravioli. And it's just like a decadent, beautiful little way to start. And I'm. It's one of my favorite dishes ever in the universe.

[James Acaster]

It's just sweet corn in there.

[Ben Schwartz]

It's sweet. It's ravioli, sweet corn. Like an incredible sauce at a very fancy Italian place. Yes. This is dirty food. I can tell you the very disgusting, like, fast food places we go to, too. Wherever you want.

[Ed Gamble]

We want to hear about it all. But for your dream menu, you want to start with this.

[Ben Schwartz]

I want, like, three little pieces of sweet corn ravioli.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

I don't want to close my eyes when I eat them.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

You know what I mean? It's that type of. That type of sweet corn ravioli.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

You know what I mean?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah. I was just. Yeah. You're there thinking of all the different types of sweet corn ravioli. It's a nice shot one.

[Ben Schwartz]

It's an eyeshadow.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

A nice wide shuttle.

[James Acaster]

When people say, like, you know that that small portion of ravioli just makes you think of the first episode of Chef's Table.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. With the Italian chef whose name I now can't remember what happened in it. Well, they talk about how that says his. Like, one of his big dishes early on was these, like, three pieces, I think of Great. And. And how everyone in Italy was, like, absolutely appalled because you meant to have a full bowl, of course. And be eating that. Do you like having, like, the. The fruit? Do you savor them more when it's.

[Ben Schwartz]

I do. Do. I do. And also. Because then I just know. Because, you know, it's appetizer. If you have too many, then you're in a main course. We're already in a main course. And what is the genie done? We're like, not even there yet. Do you know what I mean?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

So that would be starter. I think that would be the starter. I love. I love a little thing. I love a little amuse bouche. What does that translate to, do you think?

[Ed Gamble]

Funny food, just like livening up the mouth.

[Ben Schwartz]

Is that true? Yeah, Amuse bush.

[Ed Gamble]

Amuse bush.

[Ben Schwartz]

Great.

[Ed Gamble]

Amuse.

[Ben Schwartz]

Amuse.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Mouth, mouth, mouth. Wow. Just getting the mouth started.

[Ben Schwartz]

Seems like you're not sure.

[James Acaster]

I'm just.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you trust?

[James Acaster]

I just still. I trust, but, like, I just always amazed at how clever edits.

[Ben Schwartz]

It's unbelievable.

[James Acaster]

I. I never really know. But you knew that, huh? I didn't know that.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you know what appetizer?

[James Acaster]

Mighty Boosh. No.

[Ben Schwartz]

Mighty Boost is a TV show here. Used to be. Now you know that, right?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know that, right?

[Ben Schwartz]

You didn't know that before?

[James Acaster]

Like, all I think of when I hear the music is mighty, Mighty Bush.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Producer]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

That's all I think of.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay, that makes sense.

[James Acaster]

Funny, surreal comedy.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you guys. When you guys eat at home, do you watch tv or do you eat, not do anything?

[Ed Gamble]

I watch tv.

[Ben Schwartz]

You do?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, Yeah. I can't have a moment where I'm just.

[Ben Schwartz]

Is that true?

[Ed Gamble]

Do nothing? Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Are you very bad at slowing down?

[Ed Gamble]

I'm bad at not having something else playing in the background.

[Ben Schwartz]

Why do you think that is? Same with you.

[James Acaster]

No, no, I. I can do it.

[Ben Schwartz]

You can be yourself.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

James is very Zen.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay. Do you meditate and stuff? Is that where your zen comes from?

[James Acaster]

Do yoga.

[Ben Schwartz]

You do?

[James Acaster]

And try and, like, focus on my breathing during that. Sure.

[Ben Schwartz]

And then I love this.

[James Acaster]

Listen to.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do the listeners know?

[Ed Gamble]

I think it's been brought up before.

[James Acaster]

They know I do yoga and I watch ASMR videos to relax. Get called a perv by him.

[Ben Schwartz]

What type of asmr?

[Ed Gamble]

He finds it, like, sexually arousing.

[James Acaster]

I don't find it sexually aroused. He's always.

[Ben Schwartz]

He inserts. You look at his penis real quick. Ready?

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

Oh, I'm getting a bonus.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. You don't have to look at his penis. He's telling you. He's literally word for word.

[Ed Gamble]

That was the sound of James's dick, by the way.

[Ben Schwartz]

I didn't even start the ASMR yet. That was literally the sound of him getting hard.

[James Acaster]

It was inflated.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, I'll tell. I'll start now.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, he's coming. Can I start? Can I start or no? I haven't even started the asmr. This is ludicrous.

[Ed Gamble]

Inflated. All the air came out.

[Ben Schwartz]

One final breath.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Just all over the studio.

[Ben Schwartz]

When you're watching. When you're watching tv, do you watch something you've seen in the past or you're watching something new?

[Ed Gamble]

It depends. Like, if I've got something that I'm currently watching. Yeah, I'll be.

[Ben Schwartz]

What are you currently watching?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I just finished a whole. A whole bunch of stuff.

[Ben Schwartz]

What does that mean?

[James Acaster]

He watches parts of record.

[Ed Gamble]

I just finished loads of. Loads of series that I was watching. So now I don't have anything new on the Go show.

[Ben Schwartz]

What was the last show you watched?

[Ed Gamble]

Penguin.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, how was that? Great, I bet.

[Ed Gamble]

Loved it.

[Ben Schwartz]

I bet.

[Ed Gamble]

But quite hectic. So, you know, you can't eat and enjoy the food and watch the penguin all at the same time. This is the podcast because every time. Every time I look up, I'm going, are you sure that's Colin?

[Ben Schwartz]

That's what I'm saying. If I'm eating something, I. I find it hard to. If I'm really in, like, entranced by what I'm watching, I find it that I'm always missing something whenever I go down to eat.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

You know what I mean?

[Ed Gamble]

Is that the style? I mean, obviously the lesson.

[Ben Schwartz]

That kind of. Bugs Bunny. Yeah. Where am I? Like, the fork goes like this.

[Ed Gamble]

Comfort shows are good when you're eating.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. When I was. When I. When we all were watching DVDs, instead of having streaming, I had, like, all the Simpsons seasons, and I would go to bed watching them because I knew all the episodes so well that they were relaxing to me because I knew what all the lines were. And if it was something new that I was watching, I could never go to sleep because I really wanted to know what was going to happen, so I had to watch something that was coming. So I used to go to sleep to the Simpsons for years in bed.

[James Acaster]

Well, who's your favorite Simpsons character?

[Ben Schwartz]

Milhouse.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Has to be.

[James Acaster]

You could play Millhouse.

[Ben Schwartz]

My voicemail is Milhouse.

[James Acaster]

Huh?

[Ben Schwartz]

My voicemail is Milhouse. I got the person. Pamela.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. As long as it's not you doing an impression.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you want to hear it?

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Hi, it's me, Taylor Swift. Wait, I wonder if I could.

[James Acaster]

If your impressions of people are, hi, it's me, and then a different name.

[Ben Schwartz]

Wouldn't they say that? They would say they're, oh, Milhouse. A little different.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I love that your impression of Milhouse is high. It's me, Taylor Swift.

[Ben Schwartz]

Is this it? This would be it.

[James Acaster]

Think.

[Ben Schwartz]

Should we play it?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

All right, here we go. God, it'd be really funny if it was Taylor Swift. Hey, Ben is in here. But guess what? Everything's coming up the Middle House. My voice for a decade now.

[Ed Gamble]

That's so good.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, my God.

[James Acaster]

I got Captain Barnacles to do a. A voice. Voice note for my nephew.

[Ben Schwartz]

Barnacles?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Good question.

[James Acaster]

It was from the Octonauts.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, okay. That's beautiful. Oh, my God. I did this thing for. I did this thing for a show here in England, and I found out what I did was a huge deal for people that grew up with this character. I'm forgetting what it. I'm forgetting. It's a. It's a hugely famous kid show here.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ben Schwartz]

And Sonic got a badge.

[James Acaster]

Blue Pizza.

[Ben Schwartz]

There it is. That's what it is.

[Ed Gamble]

Blue pizza.

[Ben Schwartz]

Sonic got a badge. And I told. I told people at home that were British that I was like, oh, I did this thing. Have you ever heard of. I got a badge and like, are you kidding me? You got a bag. I didn't get a badge. Sonic got a badge. He's like, that's unbelievable.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

I can't wait to see it.

[James Acaster]

When we were kids, that was the. You know, getting a Blue Peter badge.

[Ben Schwartz]

We're older right now.

[Ed Gamble]

We're cool dudes.

[Ben Schwartz]

Right?

[Ed Gamble]

You know what I mean?

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. We barely eat breakfast anymore, you know, I mean, we're so cool now.

[James Acaster]

Your dream main course.

[Ben Schwartz]

This was the problem. I find this to be the hardest part because there's so many different versions. There's a. I love sushi, and there's this place called Sushi Bar in LA that. The Omas is, like, the most incredible thing in the universe. I also love chicken. I'm gonna tell you things I didn't pick. Yeah, Chicken parmesan is, like. And my favorite, like, Italian dish.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Cheeseburger. Anytime I go on the road, I always get a cheeseburger, fries, a barbecue sauce, and a ginger ale. That's my comfort food. Cheeseburger is my favorite thing to eat.

[Ed Gamble]

Where, like, is there a particular.

[Ben Schwartz]

It doesn't even matter. There's some. There's a place called Burgers. Never say Die. That's really good. But I'll eat any city I go to. I'll. That's like my. I'll go in the hotel. I'll get that. That. And it, like, makes me feel happy and home. But what I picked I'll go back to my email. Am I allowed to say omakase? I'll say omakase. Is that fine?

[Ed Gamble]

We're gonna have to get into it, though.

[James Acaster]

Why are you not allowed to say?

[Ed Gamble]

Because.

[Ben Schwartz]

Because it's so many different dishes. Is it really amazing?

[Ed Gamble]

Also, it takes. It takes the decision out of your hands because it's literally a chef.

[Ben Schwartz]

All I want.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a chef selection.

[Ben Schwartz]

Right. That's all I want. Whenever I go to a restaurant, I ask the waiter, I say, are you cool with. Even when I go, my guys, I go, go, is it cool if we just. We trust you? Just give us whatever the best things are. That's my favorite way of going out to eat. Yeah, always. I don't want to make. I love not making decisions.

[Ed Gamble]

But now what you're doing is you're asking for a high end sushi omakase from a genie.

[Ben Schwartz]

I'm leaving it in your hands. Yeah, but I don't like uni, if you don't mind.

[James Acaster]

Huh?

[Ben Schwartz]

I don't like uni. So what was your first course out of this? Let's say six. Six pieces of sushi. What are you gonna give me?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, that's good. Okay, here we go.

[Ben Schwartz]

Make the genie work. He's so, like, he doesn't do anything.

[James Acaster]

Get your Hell's Kitchen from Sticks and Sushi.

[Ben Schwartz]

I don't know what that means.

[Ed Gamble]

There's a chain called Sticks and Sushi.

[Ben Schwartz]

Can you translate everything he says?

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely. I have to do that for the majority of our North American guests, it's a chain called Sticks and Sushi. It's actually a Danish chain, I think.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, wow.

[Ed Gamble]

But Hell's Kitchen.

[Ben Schwartz]

And it's bad, I'm assuming?

[James Acaster]

No, no, it's good.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not authentic. I would say if you got it authentic, if you got it in a Japanese restaurant, you'd be like, this is crazy.

[James Acaster]

Right?

[Ben Schwartz]

I've never heard someone getting a Hell's Kitchen.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

It's not a thing that I've heard. I've been in many sushi restaurants. I've never said, sir, can I have a hel. Kitchen? Is that a roll?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. It's like.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yes, it is. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

What's in it?

[James Acaster]

It's got like, like a tempura prawn in the middle and Help.

[Ed Gamble]

Tempura prawn.

[James Acaster]

Tempura prawn in the middle and then Tudor on the top and some little kind of sauce on the top.

[Ed Gamble]

Some little kind of sauce on the top.

[James Acaster]

Like, it's very nice. Rice.

[Ed Gamble]

It is. Very nice rice.

[Ben Schwartz]

A very nice rice.

[James Acaster]

I'll tell you what I would do.

[Ben Schwartz]

Thank you.

[James Acaster]

If you. It genuinely. So you have a very nice experience.

[Ben Schwartz]

Please.

[James Acaster]

So I went to Japan earlier this year for the first time.

[Ben Schwartz]

Keeps name dropping. All these countries he's been to. This is insane. This is unbelievable. Even the Hell's Kitchen, you're like, it's a Danish restaurant. Of course. We get it. You've been all over the world. Okay.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

So you went to Japan.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I went to Japan, too.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, my God. But see, he doesn't like. He doesn't throw it in my face.

[Ed Gamble]

He gently.

[Ben Schwartz]

So we're going to Japan. I would love to go. I was obsessed with that Jiro Dreams of Sushi documentary. Oh, my God. God. It made me feel like. So it was amazing.

[James Acaster]

Maybe, like, maybe that could be your. We. We get you. We get Jiro. Get him in here and Jiro can make fun.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm not falling down that track.

[Ben Schwartz]

I figured it would just be a little woman saying hello.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. You just do.

[Ed Gamble]

Don't bring me out. I'm constantly worried in improv that people are trying to trap me.

[Ben Schwartz]

Really?

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no. I don't do it.

[James Acaster]

Well, it's just that Ed's own brain. So, yeah, you wouldn't be worried in that situation, but Ed's own brain goes, be racist.

[Ben Schwartz]

Canceled. So in your head, if you allow yourself to really go nuts, you don't know what you'll say.

[Ed Gamble]

I only did improv once, but we were filming a show where I was in character and the other improvisers didn't know I was a character.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, like Ali G. I'm good.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, yes. Like a gentle version.

[Ben Schwartz]

But what was your character?

[James Acaster]

Georgie Carlton.

[Ed Gamble]

Georgie Carlton.

[Ben Schwartz]

Excuse me, can I talk with Georgie Carlton?

[Ed Gamble]

No, he's not spoken for 10 years.

[Ben Schwartz]

Can I hear one word? Can I just hear what he sounds like?

[Ed Gamble]

It just sounds like a posher version of me.

[Ben Schwartz]

Can I hear him?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that's him.

[Ben Schwartz]

Now this is posher.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, we did it.

[Ben Schwartz]

And let me hear you normal hello. And then you posh hello. Oh, yeah. It's a subtle little.

[James Acaster]

It's a subtle.

[Ed Gamble]

There's a reason I got the part, Ben, Right?

[Ben Schwartz]

It's like the salt bay. Just a little bit of like. Yeah, okay. God, I love that guy.

[Ed Gamble]

But I was very good at up an improv show.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay. Saying no and saying that things aren't real.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

I would hate you.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

But if we did improv, I bet you would have. I would Take care of you and you have a great show.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you very much.

[Ben Schwartz]

There you go. I think you guys would be great together.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Yeah. I'd love to do the improv show.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Great.

[Ben Schwartz]

Ben Schwartz and friends. Let's do it.

[James Acaster]

So we're gonna get Yujiro to come down.

[Ben Schwartz]

This is actually great.

[James Acaster]

And he can make your sushi for you. You're a makase.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you like the sort of fancy rolls with loads of things in it or do you like the really simple.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay, so this place called Sushi Bar in la, it's in Encino. It's like in a little Speak Easy. By the way, I very rarely get to eat at these fancy places. I'm name dropping a lot of them just because this seems like what the show is, but it's like a little speakeasy. There's seven of us. It's like so fun. And they give you. You don't. There are no utensil. One piece of sushi on rice, but they put like different special sauces on it and it's just absolutely fantastic. So I like a clean piece of fish with a rice on it. But I love when they. I don't need a lot of stuff in a roll. I love when there's different sauces or if they like heat up something or something like that. I love that stuff. But I don't need like 20 things.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Let me tell you about this place that you might really like in the uk. I went last week.

[Ben Schwartz]

I need places for tonight. Tomorrow.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, this only happens on Saturday.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

And it's in Notting Hill. In. It's a supermarket during the day. And then they turn it into a restaurant in the evening.

[Ben Schwartz]

I'm already obsessed with this. I love this.

[Ed Gamble]

And you arrive, it's one sitting. There's like 15 of you or whatever, and they go, welcome. They give you this little miso soup with lobster in it. That's the first thing.

[Ben Schwartz]

Wow.

[Ed Gamble]

And then they go, well, the tuna's arrived. And you all go out the front of the restaurant and there's a van out there.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, I've heard of this.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And they open the back and a whole bluefin tuna is bringing in.

[Ben Schwartz]

I've seen video of this on the Internet.

[Ed Gamble]

It's slid onto a stretcher and they wheel it. It feels.

[Ben Schwartz]

People eat it fresh right off the thing.

[Ed Gamble]

Right.

[Ben Schwartz]

Have you done it?

[Ed Gamble]

Scoop of the thing and did it last week. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

And how was it?

[James Acaster]

He sent me a photo. He sent me a photo of it. It looked like he had gone to some illegal underground videos are insane.

[Ed Gamble]

It's called Tuna Fight Club.

[Ben Schwartz]

No, it's not.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it's called tuna.

[James Acaster]

Well, that is why it's called that.

[Ben Schwartz]

And is it. Was the tuna, like, incredible?

[Ed Gamble]

It was incredible.

[Ben Schwartz]

I'd be scared to eat it. That, like, I. I know that it's uncooked, but the idea of scooping it off.

[Ed Gamble]

They scoop it off the thing and just put it straight in a piece of nori and then brush some soy sauce over the top and then straight in. And that's different.

[Ben Schwartz]

Different than any.

[Ed Gamble]

It was just so fresh. It was mad. I mean, it. Look, it feels weird because you're all stood around this. It looks like you're watching an autopsy.

[Ben Schwartz]

I can't see the thing that. I mean, I can't see the thing that I'm eating. I can't see, like, if you show me a picture of a cow and then, like, point to what I'm eating and I'm eating this. I can't do it. Like, I went to a fan's restaurant that had like. Like, the chicken leg was still. Like, the claw.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Was still there. I was like, oh, I. Then. Now I know what this whole thing is. It's too much for me. You have to. I have to remove that part.

[Ed Gamble]

So what's happening in your head when you're eating the food, when you can't see it, it. Then are you like, this is different.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, my God. It's from. I don't know where it's from. It could be from anywhere. I don't even know. Chicken. Where does this get. Where does this come from? This is crazy. Just appeared on my plate. Braised. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. The photo that Ed sent me of Tuna Fight Club was like. They had, like, you know, knocked out a cow and just had it.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

On a. On a gurney.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Some absolute thug was walking around it, just scooping bits off the cow and giving it to people and going, there's your burger.

[Ed Gamble]

The thing is, it was delicious, but it did. It does make you go, oh, this is tough. This whole thing is.

[Ben Schwartz]

What else do you eat? Or is it. Now they cut the tuna.

[Ed Gamble]

It's like a whole, like, tasting menu, and you just get loads with that one.

[Ben Schwartz]

Big.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. And that you get loads of, like, the. The really fatty bits. Like, do people.

[Ben Schwartz]

When you go and eat. And this is a real question. I know that you're. You're humble people and you won't talk about this, but when you go to restaurants, they know you do this podcast do you get treated a little bit differently at restaurants because they know you'll probably talk about them sometimes. Give me an example of the most crazy version of.

[James Acaster]

I can always tell a little bit. When they ask at the top if you want still or sparkling water, you see a little glint in their eye.

[Ben Schwartz]

That's. Every restaurant says that.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, but that's the thing.

[Ed Gamble]

But they'll do it in a certain way.

[James Acaster]

So you can tell if they don't. It's.

[Ben Schwartz]

Give it to me in the special one.

[James Acaster]

They don't listen to the podcast. Right. And do you want still the sparkling mortar at the top? Okay.

[Ben Schwartz]

That's normal. They don't know who you're on.

[James Acaster]

This is if they listen to the podcast. Do you want still the sparkling water for podcast listeners?

[Ben Schwartz]

You can't see, but there was tongues and cheese.

[Ed Gamble]

It was really good.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. Yeah, that was really good.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, I get it. Right.

[James Acaster]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Okay. This person knows. And then they might, you know, we've spoke about it on the podcast before. They might send over an extra little dish or something. This is very nice.

[Ben Schwartz]

Will they ever pay for your meal?

[James Acaster]

Sometimes they'll try to. And you'll like. Sometimes there are restaurants that we have shouted out on the podcast.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Will invite us.

[Ben Schwartz]

Tuna Fight Club now.

[James Acaster]

And then you might go in and then have to kind of, you know, wrestle with them to let you pay.

[Ben Schwartz]

Right.

[James Acaster]

Because we like to. I'm sure you're the same.

[Ed Gamble]

He means it as well. He wrestles with them.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I'll be like, get on the floor. We're wrestling.

[Ben Schwartz]

Wow. So ASMR and wrestling with random waiters are like your two things.

[James Acaster]

But it's ASMR wrestling as well.

[Ben Schwartz]

ASMR wrestler is very quiet wrestling.

[Ed Gamble]

Very quiet wrestling. You both sit on the floor and just whisper what you would do to each other if you were wrestling.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, that's great.

[James Acaster]

I got you.

[Ben Schwartz]

That's great. I got you. That's really cute. I like that a lot, actually.

[James Acaster]

It's a stone cold stunner.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, wow. You went from a regular headlock to a full WWF move.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. That's a short match as well.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

By the way, we're done because no one's kicking out the Stunner.

[Ben Schwartz]

No, that's it. What happens after the stunner?

[Ed Gamble]

That's a protected move.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, that's true. Once you're. That's it. That's your finishing move. That's your finish. Finish him in Mortal Kombat.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Would you like to do a stone cold stunner? On Stone Cold Steve Austin.

[Ben Schwartz]

Is this what the show is?

[Ed Gamble]

That's a valid question because James asked that question.

[Ben Schwartz]

So you know what? I wouldn't. I wouldn't. But I would love to. I would love to perform a finishing move in a wrestling match. I feel like. And have it and be able to name it and. And, like, establish it as. There is something when. One of the things that, you know, like how wrestlers, when they come out, they come out to the same song, and so you'll hear it like, did you guys watch wrestling when you're younger?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay. Like, when the. Under. And now, of course. Of course, I did a movie with John cen. I got to ask him all these questions about wrestling, which was so fun. But so, like, when the Undertaker comes out, the first thing is. And like, if you watch one of those matches, the second that first. The first note of the bell comes out, the crowd goes crazy. And so I love the idea of training, you know, people's brains to be, like. When you hear the song, whatever. So for improv, we always pick the same intro song to come out to. I don't know if you do that when you guys come out. So I have, like, the same song. If different groups have different songs. Songs. Because I love the idea, like, when you hear this song. Oh, we're gonna get. These people are about to come out.

[Ed Gamble]

Nice.

[Ben Schwartz]

And I got that from wrestling. I was like, oh, how cool.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you have a sound effect and then the song kicks in?

[Ben Schwartz]

No, just the song starts because the sound effects.

[Ed Gamble]

Like the Undertaker, obviously.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Stone Cold Steve Austin has glass smashing.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[Ed Gamble]

So they go wild for it.

[James Acaster]

You can have this.

[Ben Schwartz]

What is the rock?

[Ed Gamble]

If you smell what the rock is cooking, it's just him shouting it.

[Ben Schwartz]

Right?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but it's a different. It's different.

[Ben Schwartz]

How many other ones can we think of? What did. What did you. Jake Dibiasi. No, that's not his name.

[Ed Gamble]

Ted Dib.

[James Acaster]

What have.

[Ed Gamble]

It's just music, but it's just recognizable music.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

There's no noise.

[Ben Schwartz]

Exciting. What's the theme song to this? Can you sing it off menu?

[James Acaster]

Get ready to eat some food. Coming on. One day. Oh, it's this day.

[Ben Schwartz]

So your theme song always talks about me. Today's the day that it pays off.

[Ed Gamble]

So we're gonna have to change it now.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, my God. Now you gotta change the tune.

[Ed Gamble]

Remember when Ben was on here?

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, that's great for anybody. I love that.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Pretty good.

[Ben Schwartz]

Did you guys sing the theme song or. That's yeah. Wow. Spare no expense.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I sang it. Ed didn't want to sing it because he's afraid that if he had to improvise lyrics, it'd be racist.

[Ben Schwartz]

I heard the first take of Ed's version was very unbeat. You would get canceled in a hurry. In a hurry. You would get canceled.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. By me. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Of course.

[James Acaster]

I try to cancel Ed many times.

[Ben Schwartz]

You want to be solo. We know you've been trying to get solo.

[Ed Gamble]

Imagine this solo.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Imagine.

[Ed Gamble]

Imagine. Imagine this without the translator here.

[Ben Schwartz]

It'd be tough.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

It would just be a genie. It'd just be mayhem.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. Not in the UN without translators. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

It'd be impossible.

[James Acaster]

People yelling at different on fire within seconds.

[Ben Schwartz]

People are making points, but nobody can understand each other. Do you know what I mean?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

[Ben Schwartz]

Thank God you're here.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. You're welcome.

[Ben Schwartz]

Hi, this is Francis from Fixable, a podcast from ted. These days, every finance leader is under.

[Ed Gamble]

Pressure to save money.

[Ben Schwartz]

Money. But you can't beat the competition just by cutting costs. To win, you need to spend smarter and move faster.

[Ed Gamble]

You need Brex.

[Ben Schwartz]

Brex is the modern finance platform that.

[Ed Gamble]

Breaks the trade off between control and.

[Ben Schwartz]

Speed with intelligent corporate cards, high Yield Banking and AI powered Expense Management. Join the 30,000 companies that spend smarter.

[Ed Gamble]

And move faster with Brex.

[Ben Schwartz]

Learn [e-mail] green grow time for a sofa upgrade.

[Producer]

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[James Acaster]

Your dream side dish.

[Ben Schwartz]

That's where Khan comes in. I wrote it down. Okay. So side dish is crispy. Okay. Okra from Khan in Portland. That's Where. Okay, so Khan is. I think it's a Haitian menu, but it was like one of those other things also where when we ate there, after we ate there, we're like, oh, my God. This is the. We'll say. I'll say top five meal. But I have like 100 places. I say for, but I'll say top five. This is one of my favorite meals I've ever eaten my life. But I also think part of the fun is, like, the people you're around and stuff like that. But that especially that side dish was amazing. And I never really had okra before. It was amazing.

[James Acaster]

I love it. Especially that crispy Jim Carner here, here for a while, did a crispy okra. And I.

[Ben Schwartz]

So good.

[James Acaster]

Was so. Yeah. So addicted to it. And then went once and it wasn't on the menu anymore. And I very. Did the kind of like, sad. Do you not do it anymore?

[Ben Schwartz]

And then they bought it out. Wow.

[Ed Gamble]

That's the sort of privilege this podcast gets you.

[Ben Schwartz]

You invent.

[James Acaster]

They didn't know who I was. I was with someone more famous.

[Ben Schwartz]

Who were the person you're with?

[James Acaster]

J.

[Ben Schwartz]

Was he dreaming of sushi?

[James Acaster]

He was.

[Ben Schwartz]

Are you serious?

[Ed Gamble]

They brought him some sushi out.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, that's smart.

[Ed Gamble]

He went, excuse me.

[James Acaster]

Sushi. Jesse J. Taylor Swift.

[Ben Schwartz]

And it sounded a little something like this. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi, Jiro. Hey. That's kind of how it went, right?

[James Acaster]

All of the Spice Girls.

[Ben Schwartz]

All the Spice Girls are there. Do you want to hear them?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Tell me which one. I am ready, Sporty.

[James Acaster]

Sorry. Tell. You got to wait.

[Ben Schwartz]

You got to wait. Are you ready? I'm going to say hi. As each Spice Girl. Tell me which one. Ready?

[James Acaster]

Hi, baby.

[Ben Schwartz]

Correct. Ready.

[James Acaster]

Hi, Posh.

[Ben Schwartz]

Correct. Ready? Hi.

[Ed Gamble]

Jerry Halliwell.

[Ben Schwartz]

Correct. Last one. Hi.

[James Acaster]

Scary.

[Ben Schwartz]

There you go.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Are we missing any sporty?

[James Acaster]

Hi. Hi.

[Ben Schwartz]

God, they're all here. Fans. Were you growing up?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Were boy bands big here?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Where were your boy bands?

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, we had all the American ones, obviously.

[James Acaster]

We had NSync and people like that. But there was always so boyzone here.

[Ben Schwartz]

Boyzone?

[Ed Gamble]

I've heard of boys, Boyzone, Westlife. A lot of Irish boy bands here.

[James Acaster]

Oh, wow.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Are both you from. Where are you. Where do you grow up?

[James Acaster]

I'm from a town called Ketvin in the middle of the country. England.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

London.

[Ben Schwartz]

Wow.

[James Acaster]

London born and bred.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Wow.

[Ben Schwartz]

But Wimbledon, so is that a fancy.

[Ed Gamble]

Fancy, fancy part of London?

[Ben Schwartz]

Did you go to Wimbledon quite a bit?

[Ed Gamble]

No. Never. Never went to the tennis tournament.

[Ben Schwartz]

Really?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, over there.

[Ben Schwartz]

We should get him over there.

[James Acaster]

We should get him over there.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Can't believe you've not been. You'd love the strawberries and cream. You'd a foodie.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

You'd probably be racist on the court, though.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that would be a shame.

[Ben Schwartz]

Be shame. That'd be game over for you.

[Ed Gamble]

No, I'd fit in. Have you seen that place? No.

[James Acaster]

Is it that they make it look like a commoner?

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay, well, now you can't. Now you can't go to Wimbledon. You just screw that up for yourself. I'm not on it. I want to go to Wimbledon.

[James Acaster]

Wimbledon is like full of people from Saltburn.

[Ben Schwartz]

I hadn't seen Saltburn. I just know he drinks bath water. Is that the whole thing?

[James Acaster]

Well, not.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, the bath water is the least.

[James Acaster]

That's not the headline.

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[James Acaster]

I'd say in that mouthful, the bath water is the thing that most people would be okay with.

[Ben Schwartz]

What happens in the bath?

[Ed Gamble]

He drinks a guy's jizz out the bath.

[Ben Schwartz]

Is that true?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that's why it's. The bath water is like, oh, that's a bit weird.

[Ben Schwartz]

This is so different.

[Ed Gamble]

But he sucks all the jizz out the plug hole.

[James Acaster]

So someone just told you this is 100% the show.

[Ben Schwartz]

This is 100% the show?

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Sucking the. You just said sucking the jizz out of the bathwater.

[James Acaster]

The plug hole. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

So that means it's floating.

[James Acaster]

You kind of don't see it floating.

[Ed Gamble]

It's more inferred. It's classic.

[James Acaster]

You know, it's in there.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[James Acaster]

So we had him on the podcast.

[Ben Schwartz]

You want to give him a call?

[James Acaster]

Bring.

[Ben Schwartz]

Sorry, that wasn't even me doing anything. You were getting hard again.

[James Acaster]

I mean, we haven't asked you your dream drink yet and it is time to change it if you want.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

You know, it's funny when I go. When I go out in England, I really, if I have a chance to, I try to have some jizz bath water. I usually get a gin and tonic when I'm here because it feels like what I'm supposed to get. Yeah. Gin, tonic. I don't know why. Yeah. But an old J and tonic or an old old Fashioned. I like an old fashioned. But what I usually do is I look at old fashioned jizz. Of course, this is what the show is.

[James Acaster]

I can't believe. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Old fashioned bath water. Jizz out of a jug.

[James Acaster]

Where you go.

[Ben Schwartz]

Bathroom, make bathroom whiskey, bathtub jiz. I also often times like to look at a cocktail list and Find like, I like a fruity beverage with a lot of fruit. Stuff like that.

[James Acaster]

We both decided to leave cocktails too easy.

[Ben Schwartz]

I know. I try to help you guys out.

[Ed Gamble]

So you're. You. You are a cocktail guy.

[Ben Schwartz]

I like a cocktail, but I don't drink very much.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. So. But I'll have a. Last night, we had a cocktail after dinner.

[Ed Gamble]

What do you have?

[Ben Schwartz]

I don't even know. Something. It had charcoal in it. I don't know. It was like some. It had like. I like. Like. It had ginger beer. It had some, like, two spirits in it. I like a little beverage that tastes sweet.

[Ed Gamble]

Nice.

[James Acaster]

I know you got sweet tooth.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. Love dessert.

[James Acaster]

Great. Can't wait.

[Ben Schwartz]

We're not there yet.

[James Acaster]

No, but I'm a. I'm a big dessert fan. It's just nice for me to know.

[Ben Schwartz]

That I love a dessert.

[James Acaster]

That we're heading to a good place.

[Ed Gamble]

James likes. He likes to feel safe to know that the guest is going to pick something sweet for dessert.

[Ben Schwartz]

I don't trust people who don't eat dessert.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, me too.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you eat dessert, Ed? No.

[Ed Gamble]

I do eat dessert.

[James Acaster]

Sometimes. He gets cheese and biscuits instead of a proper dessert.

[Ben Schwartz]

Dessert.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't think that's in the. It's in the space where dessert would be.

[Ben Schwartz]

No, it's a fake to make you feel good about yourself, because that's not. I agree that it's not dessert.

[Ed Gamble]

I never feel good about myself afterwards.

[Ben Schwartz]

Is that true? Then why do you get it?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, it's delicious.

[Ben Schwartz]

If you're going to be naughty, what are you going to get?

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, cheese is not well behaved.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, God, that's you being crazy.

[Ed Gamble]

Cheese is not well behaved.

[Ben Schwartz]

Ben, how sharp is that cheddar?

[Ed Gamble]

It gets pretty sharp. And you can get creamy.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you like a smelly cheese?

[Ed Gamble]

I love a smell.

[Ben Schwartz]

You got to try this bathwater stuff. Yeah, you're going to love it.

[James Acaster]

Shot that.

[Ed Gamble]

No, I get. I get dessert as well.

[Ben Schwartz]

Barely. You know we know he's not involved in.

[James Acaster]

Right.

[Ben Schwartz]

Ed is barely around for this. Are you embarrassed when everybody gets dessert? It's a real question. No, you're fine.

[Ed Gamble]

What if I get cheese and everyone gets dessert?

[Ben Schwartz]

Or like, everybody's gonna get dessert. You're like, g. Now I gotta tell everybody I don't get dessert.

[Ed Gamble]

Sometimes I do get dessert. Or sometimes I'll get, like. I'll get an espresso martini instead of dessert.

[Ben Schwartz]

That's not dessert. That's a beverage.

[James Acaster]

But he loves it when people Thick.

[Ed Gamble]

It's bath water.

[James Acaster]

He loves it when everyone's got dessert and he's there with a cheese board. He feels better.

[Ben Schwartz]

You feel better. Of course.

[James Acaster]

The ape. The king.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. And then you feel like you didn't gain as much weight as everybody else. No, no, no.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not. Is it cheese? Cheese. Come on.

[Ben Schwartz]

I guess there's a bunch of fat in there. It's.

[Ed Gamble]

It's luxurious.

[Ben Schwartz]

Afraid that big cheese is going to take you down. You're really defending cheese.

[Ed Gamble]

Shout out to cheese.

[Ben Schwartz]

Shout out to cheese. See if you got some free samples or something. Shout out to cheese.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd love some free samples of cheese.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. No.

[James Acaster]

Your dream drink will come at the end of the meal probably. Or I get a drink at the.

[Ben Schwartz]

Beginning and then I'll finish near the end.

[James Acaster]

So what would you like at the beginning? What would you like at the end?

[Ben Schwartz]

I'd probably take an Old Fashioned, then a gin and tonic taste. But I usually like to look at other people's cocktail lists and the funny name games and I'll pick like a fun cocktail or a tequila drink. I love a little margarita every now and then. Yeah. Margarita. Come on. Salt on the rim. Come on.

[James Acaster]

Oh yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Are we not having fun when you're.

[James Acaster]

When you're.

[Ben Schwartz]

Are you not entertained?

[James Acaster]

I'm entertained, yeah. Great. Does he say it too as well?

[Ben Schwartz]

I don't know. I hope maybe they are. Surely they don't have to. They don't.

[James Acaster]

Doesn't say it say any other catchphrases? Smoking.

[Ben Schwartz]

I think he says smoking. I said I. I'm almost certain that Pedro Pascal says somebody stop me. Yeah, I think I'm not 100. Sure.

[Ed Gamble]

I would truly be my favorite if that happened.

[James Acaster]

Great. If they're all just saying like Jim Carrey catchphrase. Denzel's like, oh, out of there.

[Ben Schwartz]

That'd be great. Out of his.

[James Acaster]

It's too great. I was wondering if they know why they got that. Be great.

[Ben Schwartz]

It'd be fantastic.

[Ed Gamble]

Cuz there's like animals in Gladiator 2. Like. Right? Big wild animals. Seen.

[Ben Schwartz]

It is a great. I can't wait to see it.

[Ed Gamble]

Apparently crawling out of a rhino's butthole at the beginning.

[Ben Schwartz]

Kind of hot, these rhinos. One of my favorite lines. Yeah, the other one. One of my favorite lines. Also Jim Carrey who's in Sonic. One of my favorite lines in any movie is in Dumb and Dumber the Beat when he's still the limo driver and he's just dropped off the. Was it Swanson? No. What's it. What's her Name in it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Mar and Drops. And he's driving and he looks and he goes, goodbye, my love. Then he gets her an accident. The Goodbye my Love is one of my favorite, like, not famous Jim Carolines. And also the other one in Dumb and Dumber is our pets.

[James Acaster]

Heads are falling off. We were talking before you got here about, oh, two guns.

[Ben Schwartz]

He threw out two guns. James threw out two guns. You can see that in this camera.

[Ed Gamble]

Two guns. Gunpow cameras.

[Ben Schwartz]

All right, let's see what happened.

[James Acaster]

We were saying that we record. So Benito was on a flight recently.

[Ben Schwartz]

Mrs. Benito there. Ben.

[James Acaster]

And he watched Dumb and Dumber with the sound of off.

[Ben Schwartz]

Was it still amazing?

[James Acaster]

And could. Because he knows it off by heart.

[Ed Gamble]

Ben's got the sound off.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So he was able to just like he's watched it so many times.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And we were saying that we think we could do that as well.

[Ed Gamble]

I used to be able to. I don't think I could do it now, but me and my friend could do the whole film to each other of all time. It's. It's a real stunner.

[Ben Schwartz]

I think it might be my favorite comedy and one of my favorite movies all. Back to the Future is my favorite movie. I think Dumb and Dumb be right after it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I think we might have a similar top five. Those two certainly in there. Okay, ready now. Now I'm under pressure because I want to get it right.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yours is probably American History X.

[James Acaster]

Oh, no.

[Ed Gamble]

Never to cut all that stuff to build up. But that was a really good call back.

[James Acaster]

Never seen the last 10 minutes.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. Mine is Back to the Future. I think Back to the Future for me is the best movie ever made for me. It hit me at a time where I was like, this is what movies are. And I got so excited. Shaw Shank Redemption is in my top five.

[James Acaster]

Yes. Great.

[Ben Schwartz]

I'm not going to throw you any curveball. I feel like, you know, when people do letterbox, they're like, there's a French film you've never heard about. A. A tiny tack inside a young woman's shoe. And it's filmed just in black and white. It's the POV of the tech. And I'm like, I literally.

[James Acaster]

I'm.

[Ben Schwartz]

If we have to do that for Sonic, Mine is going to be Back to the Future, Shawshank Redemption. Dumb and Dumber.

[Ed Gamble]

Is that going to be you in the Criterion Closet, desperately searching the shelves going.

[James Acaster]

Do you guys have Big Daddy?

[Ben Schwartz]

I'm looking through the bees. Big trouble, Little China. I see. I would do I would do an animated movie. Either Upper Aladdin, probably one of those two. And then what will be my fifth? There has to be a great one. I'll figure it out. There's a lot of movies now that, like, I'll rewatch now that I like. Jurassic Park I still think is one.

[James Acaster]

Of the best movies.

[Ben Schwartz]

Big. One of the best movies ever made.

[Ed Gamble]

That is an honest. See, that is just like, straight down the line.

[Ben Schwartz]

I'm not trying to. I'm not trying to impress you with that. I've seen a French film.

[Ed Gamble]

Ye.

[Ben Schwartz]

I've seen a few of them, but. Yeah. What are your top? Or give me the top three, then five is too hard.

[James Acaster]

I think I did. I did the letterbox thing once.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, great.

[James Acaster]

I said Spinal Tap.

[Ben Schwartz]

Great movie. You know they made a sequel.

[James Acaster]

Yes. Yeah. I'm looking forward to seeing that.

[Ben Schwartz]

Can't wait.

[James Acaster]

I said Eternal Sunshine.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, unbelievable movie. You definitely did one that you're ashamed of.

[Ed Gamble]

School of Rock.

[James Acaster]

I know I would have done. Oh, should have said School of.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. School of Rocks in my top.

[Ben Schwartz]

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[James Acaster]

It's. It's a perfect film.

[Ben Schwartz]

Rob Reiner, by the way, I think has one of the best, best directing movies in a row. Streaks ever. And eclectic. It was like Spinal Tap, then it was Princess Bride, then it was like A Few Good Men, American President, Misery. All different genres. All incredible film. I don't think any other filmmaker has done in a row. Such an eclectic. Although I guess Spielberg did like Schindler's List and Jurassic park in the same year. That's crazy, isn't it? Can you imagine that your dad can't even drink water. Isn't that insane? Spielberg did Schindler's List and Jurassic park in the same year. And your dad can't drink water without plugging up his nose. Isn't that insane?

[James Acaster]

Two very different men, Spielberg and my.

[Ed Gamble]

Dad, they both have different strengths.

[Ben Schwartz]

No, no.

[James Acaster]

Do you think Spielberg ever, like, got it mixed up in his head which film he was directing?

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, I think. I think. Yeah. I think there must be moments. Of course.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. Do Lun was Dolph Lunger in Shin. There's this. I forget.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, he was. He was the. Like, off screen. They talked about him a lot. I think the.

[Ben Schwartz]

Dolph.

[James Acaster]

You said a lot.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay, wait, what's your three? So you said one of the.

[Ed Gamble]

I think I. I think if we're going. Yeah. Back to the Future, Dumb and Dumber. And School of Rock would be very Sensensible.

[James Acaster]

Great.

[Ed Gamble]

Top three. For me to say Right now? Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Why would my dad survive quite long in Jurassic park, though?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, good question.

[Ben Schwartz]

Well, okay. Why would James's father survive quite long in Jurassic Park?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay. Okay. Not a lot of drinking water, I guess.

[James Acaster]

Yes, exactly.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, because the water shakes. Is that weird?

[Ed Gamble]

So if he's not drinking the water, he can see whenever the dinosaurs.

[James Acaster]

Everyone else is drinking. Everyone else is drinking the water.

[Ben Schwartz]

So. So he constantly has. It's like signs, the movie signs, where there's like the constantly full glasses of water everywhere so we can always hear the dinosaurs. It's a great line.

[James Acaster]

What else?

[Ben Schwartz]

Man, that's a slow burn. But when you get it. That's unbelievable.

[Ed Gamble]

Have you considered he might be one of the aliens from Signs? That's why he's so neck.

[James Acaster]

You can't drink the water. Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Also, he must not be able to watch Saltburn. There's too much water in that.

[James Acaster]

He would be like, get rid of that water. Just hand me the jizz. Yeah. Cut the ch.

[Ben Schwartz]

No chaser. No chaser. Just give me that creamy white.

[Ed Gamble]

I can't wait for the chat after this episode where you go. You're going to have to cut that bit.

[James Acaster]

No, we're leaving it all in. And I'm. I'm looking forward to the text messages from my mother who listens to every episode.

[Ben Schwartz]

I haven't met either one of your parents, but I'm assuming they're wonderful people.

[James Acaster]

They are.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you want to call your dad.

[James Acaster]

On the phone real quick?

[Ben Schwartz]

Hi. Hello.

[James Acaster]

Here d. We arrive at your dream dessert, Ben.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, this is easy. I love a classic Sunday ice cream sundae. I want either cookies and cream ice cream or vanilla ice cream. I want chocolate syrup. I want marshmallow. Syrupy thing. I want a cherry on top. I want nuts. I'm lactose intolerant and it is one of my favorite things to eat. Even then.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but you take a little pill.

[Ben Schwartz]

I don't. I just get punished. I punished. I'm destroyed after.

[James Acaster]

Are you drinking? Are you, like, eating it on the toilet?

[Ben Schwartz]

Yes. There's no middleman. Yeah, it goes. It goes down. It's like an X ray of watching the.

[Ed Gamble]

No middleman would just be tipping the whole thing down the toilet.

[Ben Schwartz]

That's correct.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Just throwing it in there. I guess you're right.

[James Acaster]

You are the middleman.

[Ben Schwartz]

I am the middleman. But aren't we all middlemen?

[Ed Gamble]

We are.

[Ben Schwartz]

You know What I mean? 20, 25. We're all vessels for. You know. But I think that would. That would probably be it.

[James Acaster]

That's that's delicious. I mean, I always feel quite nostalgic. Ice cream sundaes, amazing. Remember when you're a kid, you're excited.

[Ben Schwartz]

I love that. Same. A lot of dishes. It's almost like a ratatouille. Know when he eats ratatouille and he's like, I. That's what cheeseburgers are to me. That's what all those. A lot of those dishes just bring me back. Because when I was younger, we didn't go out to eat very often. And now that I'm able to do it a little bit more, it's like me having new experiences. These tasting menus or anything like that is such a new thing. I didn't try sushi till I was like, almost graduated college. And I was like, what is that? What is this? And then slowly, you know, when you start off as comedians, you have no money. So I'm eating fast food all timer pizza from New York, all, all the time. And then slowly, when I was able to afford real meals, that, whatever. Then I. That's why it's like, still new and exciting anytime we go to these restaurants, stuff like that. That's why I want to try them out while I can.

[Ed Gamble]

How do you feel about, like, crazy Sundays? You know, when they, like, go completely over the top? There's like the freak shakes and all of that stuff.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, too much. I know.

[Ed Gamble]

Spilling over the sides.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. First of all, I don't like. I don't love a mess. I don't need. I don't need it to be a mess.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

But I. I love having a sip of that, but can't do it if it's too, too much going. Going on. I feel like I'm not tasting it. That's why with Sunday, I get to choose. I put my spoon and I'm really choosing how much of each ingredient. I want heaven.

[James Acaster]

Are you a banana split fan?

[Ben Schwartz]

Not really. I love bananas. Don't love a banana split. What do we think about that?

[James Acaster]

It's curious.

[Ed Gamble]

You just like the purity of the banana, I guess.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, yeah. I just don't want anybody to hurt that banana. Yeah, I love the banana. But a little treat that we do when we're filming is banana with peanut butter and honey. That's one of my little treats when we're filming, if I'm trying not to eat too much and get two bloated.

[James Acaster]

When we say we, it sounds like someone's making that for you.

[Ben Schwartz]

Just like me, the rock, your dad, Charlie xox, Jesse J, Katy Perry, Charlie xcx. Taylor Swift.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, she's.

[Ben Schwartz]

There you go.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

You want to end by doing an improv scene.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. That's the right thing to say, isn't it?

[Ben Schwartz]

You have to say, yeah, yeah. Well, is there more before I know you?

[James Acaster]

The two of you in an ice cream parlor.

[Ben Schwartz]

Well, this is. You can't set it up.

[James Acaster]

What? Isn't that how you do it?

[Ben Schwartz]

That's short form. Give me a suggestion. Any word and I'll start off.

[Ed Gamble]

Are we not doing short form? We're doing.

[Ben Schwartz]

No, willing. We're doing an hourly long form. Yeah, okay, but we'll do a scene.

[Ed Gamble]

We used to do an improv thing when we did the off menu tour where it's Shrek Prov, where James pretends to be Shrek and then I get suggestions from the audience and he has the improv as seen as Shrek.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

But that was normally ended with Shrek wanking.

[James Acaster]

Right? Yeah. Every time Edward said, that's on you though, right? What kind of a mood is Shrek in? And they would say, say horny.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay, but can't you say, well, we want another. Give me a different one.

[Ed Gamble]

No, because I'm. I'm in control.

[Ben Schwartz]

So you always make.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. I've always got to be Shrek. Yeah. Yeah. Beating it.

[Ben Schwartz]

Unbelievable.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Sorry. You guys are doing it. We don't have to.

[Ben Schwartz]

We don't have to.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm up for it. Ben.

[Ben Schwartz]

What? Okay, so what I do in my shows for. We do it improv for an hour and a half on stage, Me and three people. We won't do it here, but basically what happens is I interview an audience member. I just ask someone, what's the most exciting day or night or your life? And they tell me a story about the most exciting day or night of life. And we use that as inspiration to make an hour and a half show.

[Ed Gamble]

Wow.

[Ben Schwartz]

But anyway, so we wouldn't ask for like, give me a place, whatever. We just wanted to talk to you, learn about that person or learn about that story and go. So for you and I, if you want to do a scene for real. Do you want to do a scene?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, you're saying for real. I was deliberately going to ruin it immediately.

[James Acaster]

No, you can't.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you want to try one?

[James Acaster]

You got to do it.

[Ed Gamble]

Sure.

[James Acaster]

You got to do it.

[Ben Schwartz]

Do you want to try one?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Don't try to say no to it. Like when we're in it. Don't make it bad on purpose.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[James Acaster]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

So James, give us, I guess or just, just like tell me, tell me something. Tell me if something interesting that's happened during the past couple days, anything that, that, that felt a little unique in the past few days.

[James Acaster]

Unique?

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah. Or interesting or fun or anything.

[James Acaster]

Because it's just a. I went to see a band last night. Play.

[Ben Schwartz]

Which band?

[James Acaster]

You said Great gig. Super Milk.

[Ben Schwartz]

Super Milk.

[James Acaster]

And then.

[Ben Schwartz]

Are you big fans of. What type of music is Super Milk?

[James Acaster]

They're a rock band. Like a punk rock band. And I. I've only just bought their album. Very catchy. Punk music. Ed's wife is in the band.

[Ben Schwartz]

Is that true?

[Ed Gamble]

That's true.

[Ben Schwartz]

Wait, hold up. So your wife is in the. So you were at that concert as well?

[Ed Gamble]

I was.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Is that gonna make the improv scene harder?

[Ben Schwartz]

No, it's gonna make it easier. That's gonna be. That's gonna be incredible.

[James Acaster]

And the security guard, there's a problem at the gigs.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh shit, here we go. Keep going. Never mind, James, keep going.

[James Acaster]

The security guard kept on ID and everyone. Even though everyone was clearly over 40.

[Ben Schwartz]

We can make that. I was gonna make it about something else, but we can just make about that instead of putting your wife in this improv, which probably weird for you.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Can I see your ID please?

[Ed Gamble]

I. Sorry, I don't carry.

[Ben Schwartz]

You don't carry it. How am I supposed to know you're 21 years old?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I. I've never really been asked that before. Cuz I look awful.

[Ben Schwartz]

What are you talking about you look awful? You look. You look beaten up and ruined. I don't know how old you could be. I had this like 10 year old kid try to come in the other day. It was two 10 year olds in a trench coat try to come in here. They looked awful. Let me see your ID.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I'm not too, I'm not too. 10 year olds.

[James Acaster]

Can I, can I, can I just leap in here now? Is Ed constantly refusing to show you his idea problem? No, he's saying yes. Improv. Is he saying yes?

[Ben Schwartz]

In my head he's saying yes to the game. In my head he's saying yes.

[Ed Gamble]

If I just show the idea, then that's the end of the game, right?

[Ben Schwartz]

Could be. I'd find a way to keep. I'd find a way to keep you there. Either way, I'd keep you in the scene.

[James Acaster]

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

But this is great. Now the game of the scene, in my head, the game of the scene is that he can't show me identification. He's going to keep trying to get in Any way he can. And I'm going to keep trying to get it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

So we could put. Play this game for maybe 20 minutes.

[James Acaster]

Ben saying there's four minutes, but we.

[Ben Schwartz]

Only have four minutes.

[James Acaster]

I kind of throw this in there.

[Ben Schwartz]

Don't you guys have to ask a question here?

[Ed Gamble]

Do the audience members normally get involved and say, is this going to be a problem for the scene?

[Ben Schwartz]

Especially when you were doing something?

[James Acaster]

Well, no, I didn't feel like he was.

[Ben Schwartz]

James just wanted to be involved in the scene.

[James Acaster]

Both of you feel horny, by the way.

[Ben Schwartz]

Sorry. Your idea, the picture and your ID looks really fucking hot. My God. It says likes. Dislikes, water, bath, water.

[Ed Gamble]

It.

[Ben Schwartz]

Is that what you want, James? Yeah. We just start. Carry on. Asmr.

[Ed Gamble]

ASM improv is a good idea.

[Ben Schwartz]

ASM improv is great.

[Ed Gamble]

You can do a couple of hours of that.

[Ben Schwartz]

Can we get a suggestion, please? Good. I heard. I heard church. Hello, priest. How are you?

[James Acaster]

Very well.

[Ben Schwartz]

How are you? Oh, my God. I'm doing so well. That's good. I think that works for really well. Just only four minutes. What do we do in the last three minutes?

[James Acaster]

I read about your menu. You're going to tell me how you feel about it.

[Ben Schwartz]

Is there a question that you ask?

[James Acaster]

No, I think I've asked a few.

[Ed Gamble]

There's the whole menu stuff.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yep.

[James Acaster]

You would like still water. James, you would like a bread platter. James, your starter. You want sweet corn ravioli from Capo.

[Ben Schwartz]

There you go. You can't believe me.

[James Acaster]

Sauce amakate made by J.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. No Uni side dish. Crispy okra from Kaan in Portland.

[Ben Schwartz]

K A N gr. Great place.

[James Acaster]

Drink an old fashioned at the beginning, a gin and tonic at the end. Great dessert. A classic ice cream sundae.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

That sounds very nice and very, very clean menu.

[Ben Schwartz]

Thanks, guys.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I think you're. Because you were worried before that with big meals, you're coming out feeling bloated and full. I think you've saved yourself for dessert there and you've given yourself the option to go like that after.

[Ben Schwartz]

Exactly. I gave myself the gift of feeling comfortable. I love a walk after a meal, too. Love a walk after a meal.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

One time I was in Vancouver and I was with a chef and I was going to eat at his restaurant. He was love. Lovely guy and he said, meet me 40 minutes before. I want to talk to you about something. I was like, okay. And we walked for 40 minutes around the. We were in Vancouver around this huge sea wall, and then we walked to his restaurant and we Were, like, tired, and he's like, the food's gonna taste better. And I go, what do you mean? He goes, because we just walked for that long, and you're thirsty and you're hungry, the food's gonna taste even better. And he was right. Food tasted so good. So he's, like, purposefully made me walk a bunch before beforehand to get ready for the meal. But I always love after a meal to walk, and it always makes me feel better whenever I walk.

[Ed Gamble]

After me, was he like, so sit down, enjoy the meal. I've got, like, eight more tables booked in, so I'm walking all day.

[Ben Schwartz]

I'm getting my steps in today. Yeah, he never cooked. I didn't eat. I didn't need anything.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

He has an empty plate.

[Ed Gamble]

The most ripped carbs you've ever seen.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah, it was incredible. It was like Popeye calves. It's crazy.

[James Acaster]

Shout out Popeye.

[Ben Schwartz]

Hey. Shout out Popeye, by the way, while we're here. Shout out Bluto. Shout out olive oil. Shout out Pl. Popeye. Popey is a type of Popeye. You know what I mean?

[Ed Gamble]

He's allergic to spinach.

[Ben Schwartz]

He's allergic to spinach. It's crazy.

[James Acaster]

Thank you so much for coming on, Ben.

[Ben Schwartz]

A pleasure.

[James Acaster]

Delicious menu.

[Ed Gamble]

Very, very good.

[Ben Schwartz]

Delicious conversation.

[James Acaster]

Oh, beyond delicious. It tasted even better. Because we walked here.

[Ed Gamble]

You've not noticed, every time we said anything to each other, I was whispering yummy. Under my breath.

[Ben Schwartz]

Oh, yeah. You kept saying I didn't understand what you were doing. Really yummy.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Ben Schwartz]

Okay. That was really good. All right, Great. And this is the podcast.

[James Acaster]

This is the podcast.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, there we are. What a brilliant episode, James.

[James Acaster]

Oh, thank you, Ben, for coming on the podcast and making us feel. I mean, I think, yo, it's early in the morning, and I just feel much more rejuvenated. He's got a wonderful energy.

[Ed Gamble]

He does. He's got a fantastic energy.

[Ben Schwartz]

Could.

[Ed Gamble]

Couldn't keep up.

[James Acaster]

Oh, you were floundering, man. And you're gonna get a lot of tweets. But how you couldn't keep up.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I don't. So that's fine. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Instagram him.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Is that what people do? Yeah, Instagram Ed and tell him how much you floundered. Say. Just say you didn't keep up, man.

[Ed Gamble]

Papa James, please don't do that. Even though I know it's set up, it'll still make me feel bad.

[Ben Schwartz]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

It's all ruinous day, so don't do that.

[Ed Gamble]

Don't do that.

[James Acaster]

He's a person with feet. He's a person with feelings.

[Ed Gamble]

Thanks so much to Ben. Keep an eye out for DNA. Keep an eye out for Mike and Nick and Nick and Alice. And if you get a chance to go and see Ben Schwartz and friends.

[James Acaster]

You must go to the cinema. Watch Sonic 3.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And you know what? Just. Just treat yourself to Ben's entire back catalog. There's plenty of stuff out there. You can. You can become a Ben Schwartz, Stan.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, of course.

[James Acaster]

If you're not already. Of course.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, I think you might be. Especially after that.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Great menu, great chat, very funny.

[James Acaster]

Great impressions.

[Ed Gamble]

Great impressions. Such good impressions.

[James Acaster]

Really good.

[Ed Gamble]

And he didn't say port knuckle either.

[James Acaster]

Do you really appreciate. Because that would have. We would have had to kick him out and that would have been a shame.

[Ed Gamble]

Thanks for that, Ben.

[James Acaster]

And thank you for trying to get Benito to speak. And we apologize that it didn't pan out.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. It's the first time a guest has ever held the mic up to Benito.

[James Acaster]

Repeatedly.

[Ed Gamble]

Multiple times.

[James Acaster]

Three or four times.

[Ed Gamble]

Like a reporter at a press conference.

[James Acaster]

Moving it over to him. Yeah. And sadly, because of the way Bonito has set up the few cameras in this room, none of them are pointed at himself. So yeah, there will be footage of that, but you will just see the mic go out of frame and then come back in again.

[Ed Gamble]

And it never works.

[James Acaster]

Never works. You will never speak.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you for listening to the off menu podcast. We'll be back next week. Bye. Bye.

[Ben Schwartz]

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze. Talk about refreshing. You know what else is refreshing this summer? A brand new phone with Verizon. Yep. Get a new phone on any plan with select phone, trade in and my plan and lock down a low price for three years on any plan. Plan with my plan. This is a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing customer. Swing by Verizon today for our best phone deals. 3 year price guarantee applies to then current based monthly rate only. Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

Beth, you're in charge of ordering the tacos for the meeting today.

Yeah, I'm not going to order the tacos.

[James Acaster]

What?

[Producer]

I'm going to easy cater the tacos.

[Ben Schwartz]

With easy cater, you can order from a huge variety of restaurants, travel, track.

[Producer]

Expenses and save time.

[Ben Schwartz]

Nice.

[Producer]

Oh by the way, you're emailing the meeting notes, right?

[Ben Schwartz]

No, I'm going to easy mail them.

[Christian Dropo]

Where's my music?

[Producer]

Sorry, Ben, there's no easycater for that.

[Ben Schwartz]

Easycater. The easy way to order food for work. Order [e-mail].

[James Acaster]

Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

[Ben Schwartz]

Hey folks, it's Marc Maron from WTF. It's been more than 15 years now and I'm still talking to all kinds of people in my garage every week. Sometimes it's Bill Burr, sometimes it's Ariana Grande.

[Ed Gamble]

She just looks at me because she's always going like, dad, it's not that big a deal. Yeah. I go, sorry, I lost my temper.

[Ben Schwartz]

I go, I still love you.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, Daddy has issues.

[Ben Schwartz]

Are you afraid of it?

[Ed Gamble]

Of death?

[James Acaster]

Well, I don't know.

[Ben Schwartz]

I think about it all the time.

[James Acaster]

How are we here already?

[Ben Schwartz]

Listen to WTF with Marc Maron twice a week on your favorite podcast app. Or get more WTF with a WTF subscription. Just go to wtfpod.com and click on WTF.

[James Acaster]

Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh boy, oh boy. The off menu boys are back in town doing live shows in London. James.

[James Acaster]

Ed, drop the app. We're a couple of losers who can't even sell out the Royal Albert Hall.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I think we pretty much have, James. We're doing five shows at the Royal Albert Hall, 13th 15th March 2026.

[James Acaster]

This is depressing, man. We used to be a great podcast. People used to flock to see us. Now we're got like some tickets still knocking around for Royal Albert Hall. Are you kidding me?

[Ed Gamble]

This is exciting, James. So many tickets. It's going to be tasting menus. It will be previous fan favorite guests being given the menus of other previous guests.

[James Acaster]

The shows are going to be brilliant and we haven't even sold them out. We're on the. We're on the way out, James. It's the Royal we're on the way out. And listen, if you were ever a fan of this podcast, you got to come and see these shows because that this could be it. This could be the end.

[Ed Gamble]

Offmeny podcast.co.uk for tickets. Happy with that?