Ep 278: John Kearns (Tasting Menu) - Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster

Transcript

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John Kearns (1:00)

Hey, let's talk about your expense report.

Flight Announcement (1:02)

I didn't submit an expense report. You will.

John Kearns (1:04)

Custom saddles and dog training services are not within policy.

Flight Announcement (1:08)

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Advertiser 1 (1:11)

And automatically detect out of policy expenses.

John Kearns (1:14)

It's the breakthrough I needed to focus.

Ed Gamble (1:16)

More on our future.

John Kearns (1:17)

These are my future expenses?

Flight Announcement (1:19)

Yes. And self defense classes are out of policy. I'll need self defense classes.

John Kearns (1:23)

You will?

Ed Gamble (1:23)

For what?

John Kearns (1:24)

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Summary

Podcast Summary: Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster – Episode 278: John Kearns (Tasting Menu)

Episode Overview

In Episode 278 of "Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster," released on February 12, 2025, comedians Ed Gamble and James Acaster welcome back comedian John Kearns for a special revisit to their whimsical "dream restaurant." This episode introduces a new format where returning guests experience a tasting menu curated from a previous guest's favorite dishes, offering fresh insights and nostalgic moments for both the hosts and the audience.

Guest Introduction: John Kearns

John Kearns, an acclaimed comedian known for his appearances on "Taskmaster" and his own Sky special "The Varnishing Days," joins Ed and James once more. The hosts express their admiration for John's comedic talents and delve into his background, creating an engaging and humorous atmosphere right from the start.

Ed Gamble (05:21): "John Kearns. Look, we know John Kearns. We love John Kearns. He's an amazing comedian."

Exploring the New Format: The Tasting Menu Switcheroo

Ed and James unveil the new "tasting menu" format, where John Kearns is served Miriam Margulies's dream menu instead of his own. This playful switcheroo aims to provide a fresh experience by having guests try meals curated by other podcast personalities.

Ed Gamble (04:24): "We decided that we're going to bring people back, but instead of just asking the same questions again, they're going to have a meal. Tasting menu style."

John expresses both excitement and apprehension about the unexpected dishes, setting the stage for a lively and spontaneous culinary adventure.

The Dream Menu Experience

Throughout the episode, John navigates Miriam Margulies's unique menu, which includes unconventional dishes like chopped liver with IKEA's round crisp bread and Mummy's Fried Place featuring olive oil and matzo meal. The conversation is peppered with light-hearted banter, detailed descriptions of the food, and humorous reflections on culinary preferences.

John Kearns (46:04): "Put it in a jam jar. Shake up."

As they progress through the courses, John shares anecdotes about his childhood, his son's imaginative "cafe" play, and his experiences with different cuisines. The hosts skillfully blend humor with genuine conversation, making the episode both entertaining and insightful.

Notable Anecdotes and Insights

John's Childhood and Playtime Cafe

John reminisces about creating a pretend cafe with his three-year-old son, highlighting the humorous yet chaotic nature of childhood imagination.

John Kearns (24:17): "He runs the cafe, yeah. I did message James. There was one day, he goes, right."
Culinary Mishaps and Preferences

The discussion delves into John's least favorite dishes and his candid opinions on various foods, including his humorous take on liver and his disdain for iced coffee despite his appearance ordering one.

John Kearns (47:31): "I ordered awful. But I like the liver bit. I remember that."
Encounter with Sam Campbell

John recounts a memorable interaction with fellow comedian Sam Campbell at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, emphasizing the playful yet confrontational nature of their relationship.

John Kearns (63:12): "He's a wind up merchant."

Humorous Interludes and Host Banter

Ed and James maintain a light-hearted tone throughout, often interjecting with jokes and playful critiques of the menu. Their chemistry with John ensures a dynamic and engaging conversation, filled with laughter and spontaneous humor.

James Acaster (73:01): "He's always got to be joking."

Concluding the Meal: Reflections and Final Thoughts

As the tasting menu concludes, John expresses his satisfaction despite the unconventional dishes, and the hosts reflect on the success of the new format. They hint at the potential for future episodes using this innovative approach, inviting listeners to anticipate more delightful culinary adventures.

John Kearns (91:18): "I'm happy and I'm gonna bring people back."

Key Quotes

John Kearns (05:14): "You won't eat those shoes where you're going, guys."
Ed Gamble (31:03): "This is how all the best format points on the podcast have come about, though."
John Kearns (57:52): "Your Honor. Members of the jury, Gorilla James Ed."

Conclusion

Episode 278 of "Off Menu" successfully blends humor, personal anecdotes, and innovative podcasting formats, offering listeners a memorable experience with John Kearns. The introduction of the tasting menu switcheroo not only revitalizes the show's structure but also deepens the connection between the hosts and their guests, promising exciting developments in future episodes.

Note: Timestamps are referenced in MM:SS format to correspond with the transcript provided.