Jonny Pelham

Summary

Podcast Summary: Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster featuring Jonny Pelham

Episode Information

• Title: Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster
• Guest: Jonny Pelham
• Release Date: August 13, 2025
• Description: Comedians Ed Gamble and James Acaster invite special guests into their magical restaurant to each choose their favorite starter, main course, side dish, dessert, and drink. Ever wanted to eat your dream meal? It's time to order Off Menu.

---

1. Introduction and Guest Welcome

The episode begins with Ed Gamble creatively describing the podcast's unique culinary concept, emphasizing humor and friendship. James Acaster introduces himself and co-host Ed Gamble, welcoming Jonny Pelham, an acclaimed and natural stand-up comedian, to the Dream Restaurant.

Notable Quote:

• James Acaster [05:23]: "Welcome, Johnny Pelham, to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time."

2. Setting the Stage: The Secret Ingredient

Ed and James reveal the secret ingredient for this episode is "Johnny Cakes." They playfully explain that if Jonny mentions this ingredient during his menu choices, he would be humorously "kicked out" of the Dream Restaurant. This sets a light-hearted and playful tone for the episode.

Notable Quote:

• Ed Gamble [03:48]: "But if he says an ingredient that we have predicted pre agreed upon, he will be kicked out of the dream restaurant."

3. Jonny Pelham’s Dream Menu

a. Starter: Spaghetti Carbonara

Jonny shares his love for spaghetti carbonara, recounting a memorable experience from his 18th birthday in Florence. He describes a carbonara so exceptional that it set an unrealistic standard for him, leading to a humorous reluctance to order it again.

Notable Quote:

• Jonny Pelham [26:00]: "I was in Florence. I had a carbonara that was so delightful that it sort of ruined food for me for the next 15 years."

b. Main Course: Curry from Habibs, Bradford

Reflecting his roots, Jonny chooses a curry from Habibs in Bradford as his main course. He praises the restaurant's consistent quality and the vibrant flavors, highlighting dishes like lamb makani and vegetable rogan josh that cater to his family's diverse tastes.

Notable Quote:

• Jonny Pelham [36:00]: "It's such good curry. It's just like a vibrant pink that doesn't exist in nature and I don't really like because it's really sweet. But this one... it's just like the nicest curry I've ever had."

c. Side Dish: Fish Pakora

Jonny opts for fish pakora as his side dish, describing them as light, perfectly fried, and bursting with flavor. He shares anecdotes about his father's humorous attempts to change orders, leading to delightful chaos.

Notable Quote:

• Jonny Pelham [48:00]: "They're really like, blow your head off. Good. My dad ordered. He changed the order about three years ago. That was commotion everywhere."

d. Drink: Margarita from 20 Stories High, Manchester

Jonny selects a margarita from "20 Stories High" in Manchester, adding a whimsical twist by desiring to enjoy it while overlooking London. This choice sparks playful improvisation among the hosts about the impossibility and humor of such a scenario.

Notable Quote:

• Jonny Pelham [58:34]: "I do love a margarita. Didn't really get into margaritas until about five years ago."

e. Dessert: Sticky Toffee Pudding

For dessert, Jonny chooses sticky toffee pudding, reminiscing about his childhood when microwaving and indulging in multiple puddings provided comfort and joy. He humorously reflects on how this treat became a nostalgic favorite.

Notable Quote:

• Jonny Pelham [63:00]: "It's the thing I eat. And also when I was... the thing is life gonna be okay."

4. Anecdotes and Storytelling

a. The Blazing Bangladeshis Gang

Jonny reveals his past as a member of a school gang called the "Blazing Bangladeshis," humorously detailing his efforts to blend in and the cultural dynamics within the group. This story provides insight into his social experiences and comedic material.

Notable Quote:

• Jonny Pelham [40:00]: "I was a founding member. We were actually recruiting. People were leaving. I was in the core group."

b. Therapy Techniques and Family Influence

The conversation delves into therapy techniques, influenced by Jonny's parents being therapists. They discuss empathetic listening and emotional affirmation, with Jonny sharing humorous takes on how these methods played out in his interactions.

Notable Quote:

• Ed Gamble [13:18]: "The main one is, this is true. If you ask, you know, like empathic listening or emotional listening..."

5. Host-Guest Interactions and Humor

Ed and James engage in playful banter with Jonny, particularly around the concept of "Johnny Cakes" and the secret ingredient rule. Their improvisational humor creates a dynamic and entertaining atmosphere, blending culinary discussions with comedic sketches.

Notable Quotes:

• James Acaster [53:35]: "Johnny Carbonara sounds like quite the character."
• Ed Gamble [54:08]: "Johnny Carbonara, thank you so much for coming on the off menu podcast."

6. Concluding the Menu

The hosts summarize Jonny's dream meal, highlighting each course and adding humorous commentary about the practicality and imagination behind the choices. They express admiration for Jonny's unique selections and the stories behind them.

Notable Quote:

• James Acaster [73:07]: "I'm going to read your menu back to you now, Johnny, see how you feel about it."

7. Final Remarks and Farewell

Ed and James wrap up the episode by reiterating their appreciation for Jonny Pelham's participation. They encourage listeners to attend his shows, especially highlighting his presence at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Notable Quote:

• Ed Gamble [78:36]: "Go and see Johnny's show. Very, very funny man. Thank you very much for listening."

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8. Notable Themes and Insights

• Nostalgia and Food: Jonny's stories illustrate how certain foods can hold deep emotional significance and influence personal tastes long-term.

• Cultural Integration: His experience with the "Blazing Bangladeshis" highlights themes of cultural blending and the humorous side of fitting into diverse social groups.

• Therapy and Communication: The discussion on therapy techniques underscores the importance of empathetic listening and emotional affirmation in personal relationships.

• Humor in Everyday Life: The exchange about secret ingredients and improvisational jokes showcases the hosts' ability to blend culinary topics with stand-up comedy seamlessly.

---

Conclusion

This episode of Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster offers a delightful blend of personal anecdotes, culinary preferences, and humor. Jonny Pelham's engaging storytelling, combined with the hosts' witty interactions, creates an entertaining and insightful listening experience for both fans and newcomers alike.

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Note: Advertisements and non-content sections have been omitted to focus solely on the interactive and content-rich portions of the episode.

Transcript

[James Acaster]

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[Ed Gamble]

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[James Acaster]

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[Samantha]

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[Johnny Pelham]

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[Samantha]

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[Unknown]

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[James Acaster]

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[Unknown]

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[Unknown]

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[Samantha]

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[Unknown]

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[Ed Gamble]

Welcome to the off menu podcast. Crushing the biscuits of conversation, adding the butter of friendship, putting it all in a nice circle and topping with the cream cheese and sugar of humor. Like a sort of no baked cheesecake. So you just think about it and then you carry on with the podcast and I know I've done a bad job. Then the thing is, we're recording this intro straight after doing another one.

[James Acaster]

That's a gamble. My name is James Acaster. Together we own a dream restaurant.

[Ed Gamble]

I love cheesecake.

[James Acaster]

And every single week we invite in a guest and ask them their favourite. Ever start a main course, dessert side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week our guest is Johnny Pelham.

[Ed Gamble]

Jonny Pelham, an absolutely brilliant stand up, James.

[James Acaster]

One of the funniest standups working today. I absolutely love Pelham. Hilarious. If people haven't seen Johnny Pelham get to one of his gigs asap.

[Ed Gamble]

A true natural.

[James Acaster]

Such a natural. So funny. Like one of those comics who is just like very effortless on stage, but still uniquely himself.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

More people need to be watching Johnny Pelham and laughing their goddamn heads off.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely. But he may be natural, he may be effortless, he may be funny. But if he says an ingredient that we have predicted pre agreed upon, he will be kicked out of the dream restaurant.

[James Acaster]

Sorry, Johnny. Sorry, Johnny. And this week, the secret ingredient is Johnny Cakes.

[Ed Gamble]

Johnny Cakes. His name's Johnny. Johnny Cakes have been mentioned on the podcast before. A sort of flatbread battery bread with cornmeal used a lot in Caribbean cooking. Yeah, they sound delicious.

[James Acaster]

They do sound delicious. But his name's Johnny. Their name's Johnny.

[Ed Gamble]

Johnny Cakes.

[James Acaster]

We have to make the link somehow.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, so.

[James Acaster]

So if he does say Johnny Cates, we will.

[Ed Gamble]

You suggested Pelham until we realized that Pelham isn't a thing.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I said it should be Pelham and Bonito just like.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Oh, shut up.

[Ed Gamble]

Benito just doesn't answer us now if he thinks it's a stupid idea.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Earlier today we were talking about making sake the secret ingredient. And Benito said, I like sake. And I went, I like saki too. And he looked at me, I went, I'm being Saki sarcastic. He went, oh, I thought you were being annoying. Yes, is what he said to me. So that's where our working relationship is now is he just says to me, oh, I thought you appeared annoying. And then we carry on with the day. So, Pelham, I guess I was being a bit of both when I said that one.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

It was quite soon after the Saki joke, I died of death. So I threw Pelham out there.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Didn't even look at you.

[James Acaster]

Didn't even look at me. Just got on with it, pressed the record button.

[Ed Gamble]

Right. We should just get on with this though, because I can't wait to speak to Johnny about his dream menu.

[James Acaster]

This is the off menu menu of Johnny Pelham.

[Ed Gamble]

Welcome, Johnny, to the Dream Restaurant.

[James Acaster]

Woohoo. Welcome, Johnny Pelham, to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time.

[Unknown]

That was very dramatic, James. Yeah, I loved it. How do you do you prepare? Do you like, do some. Are you like Daniel Day Lewis getting into the genie?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Or in my head, when we're starting, I'm like, okay, here we go. And now that we've done so many episodes, I am like, sometimes people anticipate it. So Ed will say welcome and they just go and they nod because they know he's going to budget. And then that's when. So I'm often I'm waiting for that. I'm going like, right, are they going to respond or not? And if they do, I've got to get in fast.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

Well, being a genie is a lot of work. It's not an easy.

[James Acaster]

Well, no one appreciates that.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a lot of work when you're at the lamp. I think there's a lot of downtime.

[James Acaster]

When you're a genie. Wrong, wrong.

[Unknown]

That's true.

[Ed Gamble]

Wrong.

[James Acaster]

Loads of stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

Here we go. Here comes king of improv.

[James Acaster]

What the pressure now. That's not what improv drinks do.

[Unknown]

Yeah, that wasn't. Yes, that was.

[James Acaster]

Go on then, Improv streak.

[Ed Gamble]

You already cut me off.

[James Acaster]

And when one of them starts, here he is, King of improv. Go on, mate, show how funny you are.

[Ed Gamble]

Also, in improv groups, someone says, there's a lot of downtime when you're a gd. The person playing the GD doesn't go incorrect. That was my point.

[Unknown]

Many flaws in what happened.

[Ed Gamble]

I wasn't just saying. I wasn't just waiting for you to say something and go, here he comes. Kick of improv. That would be harsh.

[James Acaster]

That's what you were making a point that, you know.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, butted me.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, I did. I did. No butt him. Yeah, I guess. But I thought, like, it would be open more doors to say I do stuff in the lamp.

[Ed Gamble]

Totally correct.

[James Acaster]

Rather than I don't do anything in the lamp.

[Ed Gamble]

Your instincts were correct and that is why you're the king of improv. Now please tell us what the genie does in the lamp.

[James Acaster]

Just kick around. Not much stuff on when I'm in the lamp.

[Ed Gamble]

Downtime.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is quite a boring life, I guess.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, it's very boring.

[Unknown]

You're like an animal that hibernates. You know what I mean?

[James Acaster]

But you're awake for it. Imagine that.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, God.

[James Acaster]

So like you hibernating, but you're fully awake.

[Unknown]

It's very bleak actually. It's like it's in solid you in solitude. Confinement.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

That's awful. That's my new nightmare is being a tortoise who can't sleep.

[Unknown]

I think that's quite what was said.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Hibernating but not being asleep.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. If any thoughts constantly. That could be a film.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quite a bleak Disney. Just about. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, you know, I'd watch it.

[James Acaster]

I think I saw a great documentary on Disney plus the other day called Billy and Molly about this old guy in Scott in the Shetlands who befriends an otter. My girlfriend was watching it. I just went down for lunch, caught a bit of it, Instantly hooked.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

They invested, had to watch the whole thing. I was crying.

[Unknown]

What's happens in it?

[James Acaster]

He doesn't quite get into detail, but he's had a rough time of it. He's moved back to the Shetlands. He's not doing great. No. Billy the Man.

[Unknown]

And is it a cartoon or like a real man?

[James Acaster]

It's a real man documentary about a real life man.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Because he said Disney.

[Unknown]

I think Johnny was.

[James Acaster]

Yes. On Disney plus and I think was it Geographic? Made it National Geographic and I don't.

[Ed Gamble]

Know why you're asking me.

[James Acaster]

Him and his wife and their dog moved back to the Shetlands and then this otter just finds him at the perfect time, perfect time in his life. They think the mum maybe got hit by a car. So it's this orphan, that allotter now just turns up on their doorstep.

[Unknown]

How were they filming it? When did they think we're gonna need to film this relationship?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was thinking, at what point did.

[Ed Gamble]

You start making a dust hit by a car? What I'd say, if you're an otter, you can't be hit by a car.

[James Acaster]

What would you say?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I think you need to be taller than a car to be hit by it.

[James Acaster]

Run over.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

But he could have couldn't have been.

[Unknown]

Looking at that moment on it.

[James Acaster]

Could have had a run up and like jumped. Was trying to dive across the road like Free Willy. He got absolutely fucking slammed.

[Ed Gamble]

Then it's hit by a car.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, then it's hit by a car.

[Unknown]

That was the thing that gave the man depression. He just saw the most brutal auto murder.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, but yeah, looks after this little.

[Unknown]

Molly, I think I don't want to poo on your parade.

[James Acaster]

Okay.

[Unknown]

Which is a sentence I don't think I've ever said.

[Ed Gamble]

Before it is a sentence. Really.

[Unknown]

Yeah. I don't think it's either, but I think it has.

[James Acaster]

Why?

[Unknown]

Why are they filming it? Like. Yeah, I think it's a lie. I think it's.

[James Acaster]

The whole thing's a lie.

[Unknown]

This is why I've become a conspiracy theorist. I think in this exact moment, I just. Why. Why were they filming it to begin with?

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Unless they knew the otter was gonna.

[Ed Gamble]

The otter is an industry plant.

[Unknown]

Yeah. That's literally what I'm saying.

[James Acaster]

To be honest, the moment at which I got invested, it was already, like, halfway through.

[Unknown]

All right, so we know.

[James Acaster]

So I don't see the setup. So maybe the setup was more storytelling.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, I don't think the setup is an old man's walking around and he finds an otter.

[James Acaster]

I can't. I haven't seen it, so I can't swear to it.

[Unknown]

I'd love to meet a heartwarming otter.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

What would solve this situation is a lovely otter. And then the otter just walks in the door.

[Ed Gamble]

Hello. My mum was hit by a car.

[James Acaster]

She had a run up.

[Ed Gamble]

Free. Willing.

[James Acaster]

Free.

[Ed Gamble]

Will.

[Unknown]

Will.

[James Acaster]

I can't. Yeah. I can't attest to that. I don't know what the beginning is. Yeah. I assume it's them. It has to be them saying, here's what happened, and now we've started filming it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Because we heard about this man and his otter.

[James Acaster]

I guess it has to be.

[Unknown]

Yeah, that would make sense, I guess. Yeah. Joining in the. I, I, I see there's still a.

[James Acaster]

Lot of the story to tell. So, like, you know, the bit. All the stuff that I saw, I was like, wow, they. They got a full camera crew.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not like when Louis Theroux was filming with the Hamiltons and then they got embroiled in that sort of weird thing.

[Unknown]

I don't know anything about that.

[James Acaster]

Very lucky. He. He would have been delighted.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I'm sure there were a lot of. A lot of days of filming. We can't use this. Louis, you're grinning from here to here. You had a very boring documentary on your hands with just two slightly eccentric people. Yeah, it's in the early days.

[Unknown]

Yeah. That is Louis Fu's job, isn't it, as things get worse, to pretend not to be just delighted by everything that's happening around him.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. He's talking to those, like, Westboro Baptist Church people. Every time they say something awful, he must be on the verge going, you're.

[Unknown]

Making signs, are you? Can we film them?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. They said, yes. Guys, Guys. They fucking said yes.

[Unknown]

They actually let us film the sign.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah, sorry. I'll take it down. I'll take it down. So you're letting us film the signs.

[Unknown]

Good decision. I think you've come off well in this time.

[James Acaster]

I won't trick you again like last time. Three times they've fallen through, those idiots. Yeah. Come back, Louis. We'll prove you wrong this time. Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, you gotta do the signs again.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yes. Come on. They filmed more sides. We've had Louis Ferro on.

[Unknown]

Have you?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Unknown]

What was he like?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, he chose. I think he wanted a goldfish in his water.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So wackier than you. Than you'd think.

[Unknown]

Strange.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Well, not to drink, I presume he's like.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, he said he just wanted it in there.

[Ed Gamble]

Someone should do a Louis Theroux on Louis Theroux.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, they should. Louis theory.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a weird weekend.

[James Acaster]

You think it'd be open to it?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Although he'd know all the tricks.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. He'd know about all the pauses.

[Unknown]

Yeah. You'd be difficult, wouldn't it, to get.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Because if you try and Louis, through Louis Theroux, you ask a question, you leave a pause, like Louis Theroux. He will sit in that pause.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Then you're just in awkward silence.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Two hours go by, got a standoff. Yeah. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Do you think you could get him?

[Unknown]

Both my parents are therapists, so I am quite good at, like, getting to the soul of people sometimes.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

But Louis Fu would be a challenging, challenging get, I'd say. And also, I don't know if even Louis Foux knows what's going on. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know if there is, like, a deeper or, like an objective. Yeah. Like, I don't know what I'm trying to discover about him, I guess. Yeah, I guess. Why. Why he does this sort of thing.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And, you know, what's. What's wrong with him?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. What are you digging? What are you digging down into?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. What are your.

[Unknown]

Did you get any sense of that when he was on your pod?

[James Acaster]

He did a lot of voices. More voices than I expected. A Texan accent character at one point.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. That was a good character.

[Unknown]

So, like, sounds a bit wild. Goldfish in the water.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Pretending to be Texan.

[James Acaster]

He's a fun guy. What. What therapy tricks did you pick up from your parents?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, I thought you were going to ask him about food. Carry on.

[Unknown]

Therapy tricks. The main one is, this is true. If you ask, you Know like empathic listening or emotional listening, which is basically what you do is you mirror exactly what the person says in different words, summarize it and then add an emotion. So say someone says, I'm feeling pissed off with my dad today. So it sounds like you were sounding really frustrated with your dad. And then because you've completely affirmed what they've said, they will then go deeper and then they'll tell you why. And then if you affirm that and eventually they'll get to a stage where they're like, I, I don't know if I'm a good enough person. Like, like you just. And what, this is going to make me sound like a. And then you go, yes, well this is.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Unknown]

But at school when I was like 13, sort of not having a great time at school, bit of bullying and stuff, what I used to do to the bullies and just ask them like four of those questions, get them to a stage where they were like, oh my God, I don't know if I'm loved by even my family members. And then I just leave them to deal with that. Brilliant. With a knowledge they had of themselves that they couldn't nearly deal with.

[Ed Gamble]

Johnny, you were the bully.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, I wasn't the bully. Well, he said he was having problems at school with bullying.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

These kids were clever.

[Ed Gamble]

Couldn't stop doing it.

[James Acaster]

We always start with still or sparkling water.

[Unknown]

Johnny, I will have still water, please. I'm, I'm, I genuinely, I'm not a fussy drinker or eater particularly, but just do not like sparkling water at all.

[Ed Gamble]

It sounds like you don't like sparkling water at all. That must be hard.

[Unknown]

Well, it is, yeah. It's very hard because I feel like maybe, I don't know why I don't like it but you know, it does feel it is very challenging.

[Ed Gamble]

Sounds confusing for you.

[Unknown]

I am confused about my lack of desire for sparkling water and that makes me feel anger.

[Ed Gamble]

You must be very angry.

[James Acaster]

Feel quite angry.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't know why I don't like it, but I just don't like it. All right, I'm on to you.

[James Acaster]

Do you like other fitty drinks? Do you like.

[Unknown]

Yeah, love coke, Love, love every other fizzy drink except someone got sparkling water. I haven't had spiking water in like 10 years cuz I just know I don't like it. So there's a chance, if I had it now, I'd think, oh no, this is Actually, all right. Could be one over, but genuine. And I think, particularly when you think it's still water and then it is sparkling water. That's awful.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I hate the. The bottled ones. You might get them in hotels.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

That don't have. Because you'd think the bubbles should be not. You should be able to look at.

[Unknown]

It 100 and go.

[Ed Gamble]

It's totally right. And you got to look at the label. Yeah. And sometimes the color of the label is the wrong way around.

[James Acaster]

Someone says, like, there's one that's got a black label, one that's got a white label.

[Ed Gamble]

Preach.

[James Acaster]

In my head. The white label should be still.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, correct.

[Unknown]

Of course.

[James Acaster]

Because it's plain.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

The black label should be the fizzle one. It's not. It's the other way around. And they both look the same. The fizzy one isn't jumping around and looking all fizzy. And sometimes you've just woken up.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Which actually, like, we talked about this, and that is genuinely something from this podcast that has affected my whole life and how I live it on tour, in hotels a lot. Always a bottle of still. Always a bottle of sparkling. Because James once said on the podcast he likes having a sparkling water in the morning if he's in a hotel and there's one next to him. Cause it feels like it's cleaning his mouth.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Every time I do that now, I save the sparkling water for the morning. And I think James thought this is like cleaning his mouth. And it does feel like it's cleaning your mouth.

[James Acaster]

He does it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

You can't see how happy James looks like that.

[James Acaster]

I've never influenced him before.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I'm fully influe in. That is. That's my new routine.

[James Acaster]

Well, sometimes in the evening, I won't wash my face. And I think Ed used to do that. Yeah, he started. Now he started washing his face.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm on and off. I'm on and off.

[James Acaster]

Now he's on and off.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Maybe he's moved you negatively.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Because he's.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah.

[Unknown]

He's tricked you. And he said, oh, yeah, I don't wash my face.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

You're not doing that. He's looking bloody delightful.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

With a wash face.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yes. He makes my life worse. He looks so nice.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

With his washed face, as you say.

[Ed Gamble]

Why? Well, I mean, I still don't know why people bother with that.

[Unknown]

What? Washing your face in the evening. I don't. I mean, I'm. You're talking to I mean, I'm not washing my face in the morning often.

[James Acaster]

Good.

[Ed Gamble]

This is like Goldilocks.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're the three bears.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, we're the three Bears, but we're face washing.

[Unknown]

He's made himself the perfect one, hasn't.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, well, he's the middle one.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

He's on and off. Yeah. I'm basically doing it all the time. Yeah, yeah. Every time I don't do it, I think it's okay. Edge doesn't wash his face.

[Unknown]

And then you remember, wait a minute.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, hold up. But now I'm going to think of you. So now if I don't do it in the morning, I'll think, Johnny Pelham doesn't wash his face.

[Unknown]

That's a terrible strategy, James. No one should follow me in almost anything I do. Really.

[James Acaster]

I don't know. I'm start living like you, Pelham, after this episode. Yeah, I'll start doing it. I'm very heavily influenced, just like Ed is with me.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Unknown]

I'm glad to know that. I do feel there's pressure now for me not to tell you anything else I do. In a year, you'll be homeless.

[James Acaster]

Is there ever any of your friends or peers who have influenced you in a habit in your life? Is there something that you do when you. You always think that's because of that guy.

[Unknown]

I live with Bobby Mayer at the moment. He's a comedian. And when he started moisturizing, I did think maybe I shouldn't moisturize or just wash his face.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Unknown]

Our house is so terrible that we just have to tell people when they come on that one of us is doing crack. It's the only way.

[James Acaster]

If you were, you know, in Sesame street, there's Oscar the Grouch lived in the bin. And then he had a little worm friend as well.

[Ed Gamble]

I've forgotten about the worm friend.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, it's easy to forget about the worm. Who's.

[Unknown]

Who, who's Oscar and his one sadness. But I am undeniably the worst it.

[James Acaster]

Dance sometimes, that worm.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's an optimistic worm. That pretty much is a good summary.

[Ed Gamble]

Of also the worm living in the bin.

[Unknown]

That's normal.

[Ed Gamble]

That's normal. That makes sense for the worm, right? The worms found its perfect house.

[Unknown]

Well, the problem is I am the what? That's. That's worse, isn't it? Because really I'm saying this is my happy place. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. This is your habitat.

[James Acaster]

Johnny Pelham Pop knobs or bread.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[James Acaster]

I like that sound. I Haven't got that sound out of someone before. You could have gained 60 years there.

[Ed Gamble]

Old worm.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, the old worm.

[Unknown]

Fred. Yeah, definitely Fred. I love Fred and. But I think Brendan. But is really underrated as, like, I'll just have that often just by itself. I just really enjoy, like, just laughing at that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. It really tickled James. And I laugh because James.

[James Acaster]

James is tickled. The image that Johnny's building of himself with this, like, just living in an absolute dump. Yeah. And then my meal today is bread and butter.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a treat.

[James Acaster]

That's a treat. This is underrated, Bobby. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It's rare that we have bread and butter in at the same time.

[Unknown]

We're living great lives.

[James Acaster]

Okay. Yeah. Bread and butter is your.

[Ed Gamble]

I agree, I agree.

[James Acaster]

Bread and butter.

[Unknown]

It's like, I. I think probably like a. Like a French baguette sort of vibe. Like the sort of thing you'd have with soup.

[Ed Gamble]

Soup.

[Unknown]

Just get rid of the soup and just keep the bread and sort of too much butter. That is, like, more than is socially acceptable.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So sometimes people will say, well, that's a lot of butter. And I think if you weren't here.

[Ed Gamble]

So much more like a private amount of butter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

Like something.

[Ed Gamble]

Teeth marks. You want to see your teeth marks in the butter.

[Unknown]

Never even. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

You want to see your teeth marks in the butter.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, that's how thick. That's a measure of how thick the butter is. Right. If you bite into it and you can see your teeth marks in the.

[James Acaster]

Butter, you know that's down the side of it. Yeah, yeah. Like a block of cheese.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Wow. I didn't know this.

[Ed Gamble]

I nearly called my book Teeth Marks in the cheese.

[James Acaster]

Did you?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

What did you call it?

[Ed Gamble]

Glutton. Glutton covered it off.

[James Acaster]

There was teeth marks in the cheese.

[Ed Gamble]

I can't write another food book, mate. What?

[James Acaster]

As if. Yeah, you can.

[Unknown]

Come on. This is your niche now. You can do. I think you have smashed it, Ed, in terms of your life. Like, you've just got. You just eat now. And that's. Yeah, that's a great. Yeah, that's not the dream life. Isn't it?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I just eat. Make money just from eating.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

Beans on toast again.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm eating bread and butter. I'm just looking at my bank account. Go up.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that's pretty great, man. I'm proud of you.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, thanks, man.

[James Acaster]

And sometimes he talks to people about being untrustworthy.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, yes.

[James Acaster]

That's the two things he does and then say to someone, why'd you lie to all those people? They can't trust you.

[Unknown]

Now.

[Ed Gamble]

What sort of butter. If you're at home and do you have. Do you get a good butter in? Of course you don't.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Scraping something out the sink.

[Unknown]

What is that?

[James Acaster]

No, I think probably mayor's crumbs.

[Unknown]

I know when I'm at a restaurant, like, I do love. I didn't know, but it could be that good. Like, sometimes when you go to a restaurant, like, this is just incredible.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Salt on the top and you think, yeah, let's go. Yeah, let's bloody go. This is why people make money.

[James Acaster]

People make money worth of hours of work.

[Unknown]

I'm exploiting a lot of people and I'm doing it for this butter. Okay.

[James Acaster]

What other things in your life have you experienced that makes you think, this is why people make money?

[Unknown]

Every time I walk in a house.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

This makes sense. To see what this system works.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

What else? Not.

[James Acaster]

Not your house, though, obviously.

[Unknown]

No, no. This is what.

[James Acaster]

You walk in someone else's house, you go, this is why people make money.

[Unknown]

It's very motivating.

[James Acaster]

Not when you walk in your house.

[Unknown]

Living in my house is very motivating. To think I need to make more money.

[James Acaster]

I guess you could still say it if your house, but.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Yeah. I guess what else is. I just think just you have to buy everything. I think probably computer games.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

But that explains what. I'm in the house.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really?

[Ed Gamble]

People make money painting such a bleak picture of your life.

[Unknown]

Now, I think the thing is, and this is a problem, I am quite happy. But that is, like. That almost makes it worse.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

There's no mo. There's no, like. But, you know, I'm an optimistic man. What can I say?

[James Acaster]

What's your favorite computer game?

[Unknown]

I play a lot of football Manager. And I had to stop playing because it was like, I'd be talking to my girlfriend and all I'd be thinking about is, we need to buy a left back. I'm scouring the Croatian league.

[Ed Gamble]

I've spoken to a lot of people who've got properly addicted to football. Manager.

[Unknown]

Yeah, well, it's better than life. I think that's the problem. I can, like. I only play football Manager. When I'm doing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Because there you just want something that's completely out of the world, that you can just do and enjoy. And it's like the thing I do every month to stop me getting hammered.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I'm like I won't drink, I gotta get up early. Champions League to win.

[James Acaster]

That's a good idea because every Edinburgh, for the, for the listeners who don't know every Edinburgh Festival, every comedian goes up and they always say the same thing. They always go, I'm not gonna drink this year. I'm not gonna read reviews, I'm not gonna care about the sellout board and however people are doing. I'm gonna exercise every day. And then obviously you don't do any of that stuff and it goes to. And it's really bad. But it's because we don't replace it with something that's actually fun.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So you replace it with something that is addictive.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And enjoyable and isn't as bad for you as like all that other stuff is genius. Because I don't really know many people who have successfully done that for the month. This is what I'm gonna do.

[Unknown]

And because I, I only play it during that month. It is like I'm really into it and I know this is my month.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I'm like, look, I'm getting terrible reviews. No one's coming to my show. But we're doing well in the Premier League.

[James Acaster]

You got a Premier League team.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't need this festival. I'm a successful football manager.

[Unknown]

Our screen at my audience. I don't need you.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I don't need either. I don't need either of you.

[James Acaster]

Got Liverpool on the weekend. Who's your team?

[Unknown]

Well normally cuz I'm quite. Don't want to brag or anything. I'm quite good at football. So I start with someone like I'm from Bradford.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So I'm start with like Bradford City or feeling really ambitious. Bradford Park Avenue who are like in like the conference and then you have to build them up to win the Champions League.

[James Acaster]

You take Bradford all the way to like winning the.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I've done that more times than is acceptable. You know what I mean?

[Ed Gamble]

Like it's awful when you do that and then you log back on the year after and they're back down in the conference again.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You're like this is, this is clearly. It was all me.

[James Acaster]

You've handed them over to Ted Lasso.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

He keeps getting relegated but he's being very positive about it.

[Unknown]

Optimistic American just isn't going to cut it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Believe.

[James Acaster]

Your dream starter. Let's get into your meal proper Johnny.

[Unknown]

I think when I say my starter we're all going to agree that I've cheated, but okay, it's my. My dream restaurant.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And I can do what I want.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Right.

[James Acaster]

Well, let's hear it first.

[Unknown]

It's a nice, light, warm you up for the meal. Spaghetti carbonara.

[Ed Gamble]

I think that's totally acceptable.

[Unknown]

Great. Great. Great. Great.

[Ed Gamble]

We often let people have a pasta course if they want.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. We've even let people do that. So, like, if you want to just make that your start. Great.

[Unknown]

Well, it's a specific carbonara because I was in. It was. I was my 18th birthday, I was in Florence. I had a carbonara that was so delightful that it sort of ruined food for me for the next 15 years, pretty much, because, like, I had to be banned by my governor at the time from ordering carbonara in Italian restaurants because I just ate it and then be like, it's not as good.

[James Acaster]

Really sad about it.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Do you remember what the place was called?

[Unknown]

No idea. That's the thing. No idea what it was.

[James Acaster]

You'll never get it again.

[Unknown]

It was like, we just landed. Checked in. We sort of. One of those days. We were just walking. First day.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Walking through Florence. It was just on, like a side street.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Ate it. It was just insane. Like, how amazing it was. And that was the first time I'd ever been to Italy. So I'm just like, well, I guess this is what food tastes like.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna be every meal.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Literally. And then it. Nothing has ever replicated it. So I'd say overall, that carbon hours had a negative impact on my life.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

But in the moment, it was just pure, pure joy.

[Ed Gamble]

I love that, like, 10 minutes ago you're going, I guess I'm just happy. I'm an optimistic guy. And now you've gone, I love this carbonara. It's ruined my life.

[James Acaster]

I'm complex and saying that your life is sort of bleaker and bleak.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

You're like, I had this amazing car, but here's a positive story. It's ruined my life.

[Ed Gamble]

What was so amazing about this carbonara?

[Unknown]

I guess it's difficult to, like, the myth and reality are very intertwined now. I mean, it's just. It was just like. The pasta was perfectly al dente. It was just sort of creamy. It was sort of weirdly. You know, the thing about carbonara is often they are rubbish. They're just so heavy.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So you're just like.

[Ed Gamble]

It all coagulates and sticks together and. Yeah.

[Unknown]

So this was like, light, delicious. The bacon was really salty. And it was just like the perfect.

[James Acaster]

And was it cream or was it like the golden carbonara, huh?

[Ed Gamble]

No way.

[James Acaster]

Well, this is why I'm asking.

[Ed Gamble]

The Italians ain't doing that, man.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I don't know enough about carbon hour to know, like, I can't remember. I'm sure it wasn't cream because it was, like, different to anything I've eaten.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a crime. That's a cream crime.

[James Acaster]

I'm not saying he's not gonna go.

[Ed Gamble]

To Florence and there's gonna be cream in the carbonara, man.

[James Acaster]

I think you just gotta be clear on it, you know, because, like, if Pelham's going around ordering carbonaras, they probably got some creamy ones.

[Unknown]

A jug of single cream next. Yeah, it was for dessert.

[James Acaster]

Y.

[Unknown]

It was incredible, though. It was like. Yeah, it was real. It was a real smash of that cabanara.

[Ed Gamble]

And do you think it's because you were in Italy as well? There was, like, the surroundings.

[Unknown]

We were tired and, like, it was like all those things of, like. We just got there. We didn't quite know what's going on. A bit hungry. And then you just sit down. It was, like, quite a secluded little, like, weird area. And it was, like, nice temperature and it was just like, this is. I was like, this is going to be a good holiday day.

[James Acaster]

This is. This is why people earn money.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah. This is why.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course, that's what you said. And was it a good holiday?

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was good. Solid.

[James Acaster]

Just you and your girlfriend, or.

[Unknown]

No, it was me and my full family. Not my girlfriend. I was only, like, 18 at the time.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Oh. Now I can see even more why your girlfriend at the time banned you from having carbonara in restaurants, because she wasn't even there for when you had the carbonara in the first place.

[Unknown]

And, you know, I. I would say the problem is. Is the. It's. It's quite a boring story. It's not. It's a fine swim. But once she was told that story 56 times.

[Ed Gamble]

Sure.

[Unknown]

Every time you're like, should we go for a romantic meal? Yeah, yeah. I'll be getting the carbonara and then I'll be sad.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I'll be wishing I was somewhere where you weren't originally.

[Unknown]

Yeah. So that. So I think the banning. You know, when someone says, you've got to stop doing this, and I think that's. I'm like, yeah, you are completely right. And now I just never bought a carbonara. I've just let that.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, so you haven't had carbonara in ages?

[Unknown]

Not a carbonar in ages. Because as I said, it is, is when it is. Normally it's quite bad. Like it is, isn't and it's so heavy. So. But this one particular carbonara, that's why I had to get it as a starter.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

This is my food issue in life.

[Ed Gamble]

Did the rest of your family have the carbonara?

[Unknown]

No, no, I was the only one and then I gave some to my parents. Idiot.

[James Acaster]

You went, this is so nice. You gotta try it.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Little did you know that was the pinnacle of your entire life and you gave some of it away to your parents.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I guess I'm just a great guy.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Did they say that's a. That's amazing?

[Unknown]

They were, they were enthusiastic about it, but they weren't. I mean, they really. They should have started weeping and gone, this is the best thing that's ever happened in my life, including the birth of all my children. And then I'd have been like, they get it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah. They said, they went, you seem to like the carbonara.

[Unknown]

I'm like, wait a minute.

[James Acaster]

Good holiday though with your, you, your parents?

[Unknown]

My two sisters and older sisters. Younger sisters, two older sisters.

[James Acaster]

Okay.

[Unknown]

And it was, it was my birthday and my parents anniversary. It's like four days apart.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So it was like a combined of those two things.

[James Acaster]

And which one do you reckon got more kind of air time?

[Ed Gamble]

Good question.

[James Acaster]

In the holiday, do you reckon it became more of a birthday holiday or an anniversary holiday?

[Unknown]

Because I was. It was an 18. Yeah, yeah. Which I think it was probably me. And I think that reflects how cool a person I am. 18th birthday, I'm in Florence with my family. I'm crying about carbonara. I can't find. I'm running around the streets of Florence going, I deserve a better carbon.

[Ed Gamble]

That sounds absolutely delicious.

[James Acaster]

I also love that I didn't know like you were the youngest of three and it just makes sense.

[Unknown]

Yeah, Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I love thinking about little Johnny.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Running around after his sisters. Like, I love it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

But like, hey, wait up. That's what I always think of.

[Ed Gamble]

Wait for me, guys.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I really like that image. Running around. Even though In Florence you're 18, but in my head you're like 8.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

You're like running around like, scrappy. Do you know you've had this carbonara? Is it the size of a main course, that carbonara?

[Unknown]

I think I'll talk to the genie about this. Can I just have as much space for eating as.

[James Acaster]

Yep.

[Unknown]

Well then. Yes. It's infinite.

[Ed Gamble]

It can't be. It can't be infinite because then you're never going to get onto your main. Are you? Or are you happy to not finish the infinite carbonara?

[Unknown]

Yeah. I think it's just always there as an option because basically every time I have an existential crisis about carbonaras.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I've got. Got some in the fridge, actually.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Well, here's the thing then.

[Ed Gamble]

It's in the fridge.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

In your dream restaurant. You want an infinite carbonara. That's fridge cold.

[Unknown]

Well, I guess I have to leave the restaurant. Right. I can't just stay in the restaurant forever.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So I'm just taking a vat of this carbonara.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Maybe someone's telling me the recipe. That's what's happening. Okay, well then I have to cook it. I don't like my chances.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I mean, there's a chef who follows me around from this restaurant.

[James Acaster]

Okay.

[Unknown]

And he lives in the bin with me.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

You and Bobby in our house.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Somehow we were phoning a chef.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

He's. He's not done well out of this deal.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

He was happy in Florence.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Now he's living with us and the Fox.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a good sitcom.

[James Acaster]

Well, okay, let's say you can never get full.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And you got an infinite amount of that carbonara. It will never stop. When do you think you would stop eating it?

[Ed Gamble]

And we'll just make it that size.

[James Acaster]

I guess so. But like, realistically, it's the best thing you've ever tasted. You absolutely love it. You start eating it, you're never even. It's not even touching the sides at any point. Yeah.

[Unknown]

I have no idea.

[Ed Gamble]

Also, this, I think sums you up.

[Unknown]

Do you?

[Ed Gamble]

That you've gone with the best thing you've ever eaten and it's ruined all food for you and it's your starter. So this whole meal is going to be downhill from now on.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. It can't be as good.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, I see what you're saying, Ed. You're a wise man.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Unknown]

You've seen, you've seen the error of my ways, but yeah, I don't care. I'm having an infinite star. It's never ending. Goodbye.

[Johnny Pelham]

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[Unknown]

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[Samantha]

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[Unknown]

Now that's streamlined marketing. Samantha, what's your tip for scaling smart?

[Samantha]

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[Unknown]

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[James Acaster]

Okay, so your main course.

[Unknown]

Main course. I'm from Bradford and Bradford.

[James Acaster]

They won the Champions league, didn't they?

[Unknown]

2037.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So it's a curry. It's a curry. Because that's really. Bradford has. Bradford gets a lot of stick. It's always on like worst places to live that you can imagine in the uk. Yeah, it's always like fourth. I was like, who's making that list? What sort of a twat. Yeah, it's coming down from London to me. Like, imagine living here.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah. But we're really good at curry. There's a few quiz F4. There's I like living a very Asian area. We're like one of two white families on our street and basically every Eid, the food is just ridiculous. Like all the family's neighbors bring around like curry and samosa. And it is insanely good. Like, it's so good. And it is amazing. And you do feel a bit guilty because we give nothing back because it's like, what would we. Hey, it was a cottage pie. We have nothing to offer. The one I'm gonna go for is my local curry place. We're just like a family restaurant. It's called Habibs and it is just such good curry.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And I would get a lamb makani, which Makani is a weird dish because I've had it every other place I go. It's like a vibrant pink that doesn't exist in nature and I don't really like because it's really sweet. But this one, I think they might be doing it wrong, to be honest, because it's like yellow, but it's so delicious. It's just like the nicest curry I've ever had.

[James Acaster]

Is it very spicy?

[Unknown]

It's actually not that spicy. I like spicy food, but this isn't very spicy. It's more like just creamy and just like. It's got pineapple in it, which is a bit of a shocker.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that is a bit of a.

[Unknown]

Shocker, but it really works. And it's. Yeah, it's just a bit. And then. Yeah, a bit of chapati and peel our ice and. Yes, please.

[James Acaster]

The meat in there. What's the meat?

[Unknown]

Lamb.

[James Acaster]

Lamb.

[Unknown]

And the lamb's really tender. It's like. It's absolutely smashing.

[James Acaster]

Have you gone to this place your whole life?

[Unknown]

My whole life. We call them up now and they just know exactly what our order is.

[Ed Gamble]

It's one of those places that's good.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

That's what you want in life.

[Unknown]

And we had it at Christmas Eve this year because we were just like. We were only back for three days and we were like, we all my family, like, we have to get a curry in.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So Christmas Eve had a curry and it was so good.

[James Acaster]

What are your parents orders?

[Unknown]

My dad gets.

[Ed Gamble]

Sometimes James asks a question where I was like, that's the most James question of all time.

[Unknown]

Why is that James question?

[Ed Gamble]

Because he wants to know. James question is always name your friends who are with you. Tell us about your friends.

[Unknown]

That's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

But it's always interesting, the sort of real minutiae of what's going on. What are your parents orders? Is a very James question.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I love it that they know your orders straight away. So I thought you must know.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And I like that everyone's got their own little.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, no, I completely agree. But it's very.

[James Acaster]

He's right.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

My dad gets a chicken Booner.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And my mum, even though she's a meat eater, because both my sisters are vegetarian, will get a vegetable rogan Josh because she wants to, like, think I let Them have more choice because the great thing about curry is just smashing. Everyone's sure on everyone's plate.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

So she just lets my sisters have more choice because she's a kind woman, my dad. Absolutely ruthless.

[James Acaster]

And new sisters, what they get?

[Unknown]

There you go. One of them gets a vegetable makani.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And the other one gets a vegetable door Piazza, I think I love it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, There you go.

[James Acaster]

New.

[Unknown]

I love it.

[James Acaster]

You know, it's all of them. The restaurant knows all the orders.

[Ed Gamble]

Did you ever go to the restaurant with your gang?

[Unknown]

With my gang that you were in? I was in a gang at school called the Blazing Bangladeshis. It was just me and five Bangladeshi lads and it was very fun.

[Ed Gamble]

I was just. As soon as I knew you were coming in, I was like, I can't wait to ask him about his gang.

[James Acaster]

We love the gang so much. Yeah. Again, I imagine you just like, wake up guys.

[Unknown]

Like the lawyer. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Was it ever acknowledged that you were white in the Blazing Bangladeshis?

[Unknown]

Well, look, let me acknowledge.

[Ed Gamble]

Was it ever acknowledged? I'd imagine day one it might have been.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Well, I think I was anonymous and that was part of the. That part of the joy for me was I got included in this group because I went to pretty much an all Asian school. Like, I was the only white boy in my class. So that's why I had to psychoanalyze people stat. Get some. Get some rep, like, you don't want to mess with him. It'll make you question your very existence. And the thing was, a lot of white kids got bullied. And I think subconsciously I looked at them and thought, I don't want that. So instead I just became the most Asian boy I could be.

[Ed Gamble]

Straight into a gag with them.

[Unknown]

Yeah. I knew how to swear people's mums in Bangladeshi. Yeah, I knew all sorts of. I was really. It was. It was a great time. And what's crazy is it was only when I went to university, I was like, yeah, yeah. I was in the obvious. I was in a gang of Bangladeshi lads that people. I realized how weird it was.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, sure. It's not everyone's lived experience.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know what it's like on Friday, everyone goes to mosque. You have to play alone.

[James Acaster]

How did you get in the gang? Did they invite you or did you like.

[Unknown]

Well, initially it was a five. It was a five side football tournament.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I was a goalkeeper again. That's a position you get if you don't want to be bullied. I was quite a Good goalkeeper, which is the ultimate, like, look, guys, I can fulfill a role no one wants to do.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So I was quite a good goalkeeper. They were like, we need a goalie. And then we. We did quite well. We got to the final and that is a bonding experience. I mean, I play a lot of football manager. I know how important team morale is.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I was like, look, if we're going to win this competition next year, we need a gang.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown]

And they all agreed before, you know, I mean, there was a time.

[Ed Gamble]

Where were you there for the naming of the gang?

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was. I was a founding member.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Were there any other names? Someone said, let's call ourselves the Blazer Bangladesh. Did no one look at you or you put your hand up and go, will that work?

[Ed Gamble]

Will that cover everyone?

[Unknown]

I can't remember. I. I think there was a decent chance that I was the one who said, why don't we call ourselves we're all the same. Right.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. A little pause. Okay, Johnny, we can call ourselves that, but people won't. When you're not with us, people won't assume you're in the game. It's the only problem for you.

[Unknown]

I would say they won't.

[Ed Gamble]

The blazing Bangladeshis.

[Unknown]

And Johnny, you know what I mean? Like, I think. I think I was. I was in the core group. There were people who were like, more Satellite Gang members.

[Ed Gamble]

They must have been livid.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Especially if they were Bangladeshi. Right.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. They'd have been like, who the.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

How is he so prominent in this?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And then look at me. I'd swear the mum in Bangladeshi and then go, he deserves to be.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

He's putting more work. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

That's not my mom. Yeah.

[Unknown]

It's like one of the mafia who's not Italian.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

He's done some stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like an Irish guy in the mafia. Yeah, yeah. Joe Irish.

[James Acaster]

Is in the math. Yeah. So this curry sounds lovely. I love people's like, local curry houses that they grew up with because, like, sometimes, you know, you get. You visit a mate somewhere else in the country, visit their family, they take you to their local. Local curry house. They will build it up so much before you go and say how much they love this place. You wait until you get there.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

And then every time you go. And it's the same as any curry you've ever had anywhere, but you know, they've grown up with it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

It means that much more to them. No other curry in the country tastes as good.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And like I do love hearing people talk about, you've got that place, the Raj. Although also, shout out to the Royal Bengal as well in Kevin. They're literally two doors down from each other.

[Unknown]

That's stressful for them, isn't it?

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

They're in constant competition.

[Ed Gamble]

Imagine the lads on Brick Lane.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I can't imagine that's not in Kevin. Just saying that, but, like, sorry to get off track. I don't know what he's talking about. Pretty lame. You don't know anything about Ketry, man.

[Unknown]

It's not.

[James Acaster]

It's not a place. They're not locking and road these places.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. That's what I meant.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Rockingham Road. I got Bricks Rocks.

[James Acaster]

The Curry Mile.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Of Ketman.

[Unknown]

Well, that's Manchester 100 meters, but, yeah.

[James Acaster]

That is tense between them.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. House of Spice Rains Park. Shout out.

[James Acaster]

House of Spice Rains Park.

[Unknown]

Habibs. I would like people to go there because I feel like they're. They're doing well, but they could be doing better.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, okay.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

If you're in Bradford, go to Biebs. Don't mention me because I don't actually want to talk to them. Like, I really like them, but the idea of knowing them, knowing that I'd hate. I don't. I don't want that.

[James Acaster]

Well, bad news, Johnny. You've mentioned it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

By name. You've made it sound really good.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Often the effect that it has on this podcast is people do go there, there and do mention to the owners. Yeah, I don't want to call up.

[Unknown]

And do my order, and I'm going, did you mention this on a podcast? Yeah, I have to go. I'm sorry. Like, I just.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm so sorry.

[Unknown]

I don't have to deal with compl. Like, I don't. I'd be like, oh, yeah, sorry.

[Ed Gamble]

It's interesting. Why don't you. Why can't you deal with compliments?

[Unknown]

Ed, I'm on to you.

[Ed Gamble]

It seems like you can't say that.

[James Acaster]

To it in a therapy session every time. On to you, Monty.

[Ed Gamble]

I know what you're doing. My parents are therapists. You can't pull this.

[Unknown]

Try to break my unconscious habits, are you. While they're staying stuck.

[James Acaster]

That would be a good film. A young person whose parents are therapists doing something that means they have to go to therapy. Like, being naughty. And they're like, right, you got to go. Start going therapy sessions. And then they're like, I'm on to you.

[Unknown]

The therapist. Yeah, the therapist is crying. Yeah, I would. I would watch that.

[James Acaster]

Like Good Will Hunt in. But like, he's younger.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

And has therapist.

[Unknown]

Maybe it's based on me.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I think so.

[Unknown]

Maybe I could play it.

[James Acaster]

The kick of being a gang.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Blazing Bangladeshis.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Curses out the therapist.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm really loving this. I'm seeing box office. I'm seeing a lot of money.

[Ed Gamble]

You're seeing box office.

[Unknown]

I'm seeing box office.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, you're seeing box office. The numbers are bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Box up. The presence of a box office does not mean it's done well.

[Unknown]

All right, well, that's good. That's good. Even further now.

[Ed Gamble]

How's my new film done? On the phone to your agent. How's my new film done? Well, there's a box office.

[Unknown]

Instantly you start cheering.

[James Acaster]

Hello. Is that box office? Yes. How's good Johnny Pelham? Doing bad. Thank you, Bobby. It's got box office. Leave your dream side dish.

[Ed Gamble]

So we've got. We've got chapati and pilau included with the lamb.

[James Acaster]

That's included?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that's. That comes with. That's a package deal.

[James Acaster]

Comes with.

[Unknown]

And I think I'm just going to stay at Head Beams. I do. I do feel a bit boring about picking a beams because it is. I wondered if it represented a lack of imagination.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no. It means a lot to you.

[James Acaster]

Means a lot to me.

[Unknown]

It means a lot to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Stay at Habib's. Do you want the starter to be in Florence, by the way, at that restaurant, and then you move to Habib's for your main.

[James Acaster]

Or do you want us to transport the starter to Habibs?

[Ed Gamble]

Would it feel weird eating a carbonara in an Indian restaurant?

[Unknown]

Definitely. Definitely not.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it an. Sorry, it's a curry house.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's in Indian restaurant.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it's an Indian restaurant.

[Unknown]

I don't know where do I want to be? Maybe in Florence would be. I think if I was going to be anywhere, I'd be in Florence with the carbonara and the curry. Can you transport me anywhere?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I could do anything like that. Absolutely. I feel sorry for the Habibs that often.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I feel sorry for the Habibs crew.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, also, I don't know if I'd like a curry that I'm used to eating in an Indian restaurant setting in an alleyway in Italy wouldn't feel right.

[Unknown]

I don't know if it's an alleyway.

[Ed Gamble]

That's weird. That's what I've imagined.

[James Acaster]

I've imagined it's in a little side street. Yeah, it was an alleyway. Yes. Basically an alleyway.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Fair enough. It's sad that I say I did delicious carbonara in Italy and you've looked at me and gone. I imagine it's seen in alleyway. Never been.

[James Acaster]

Can I tell you why?

[Ed Gamble]

I imagine because, Florence, all of those big places in Italy, the nicest restaurants are down, like, rickety little alleyway. Side streety places. Because the food has to be good because it's not touristy and the view's not good.

[Unknown]

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it probably was down in alleyway.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Right. Well, then, what's this about?

[Unknown]

In my head, I think an alleyway you meant, like, it's like a. Like a. But actually, you're talking about quite a picturesque, beautiful little alleyway.

[Ed Gamble]

No, it doesn't have to be picturesque. I mean, if there's a bin, that's fine. You can, you know, short walk home.

[Unknown]

Talking about bins. Yeah, yeah. It could be nice. You come in. All right. Bin public.

[Ed Gamble]

If you live in a bin, I.

[Unknown]

Imagine there's a lot of bins surrounding you, surrounded by bins. You sat in the middle.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. So we're staying in her BBs for the side dish.

[Unknown]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, the side. I think it's just good. They do these little fish, like pakora things that are just properly top notch. Yeah. They're like, like lightly fried, I guess. Like, I mean, you've eaten a pakora, but it's really good.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't think I've had a fish. One fish pakora. No.

[Unknown]

Yeah, they're. They're top. They're really like, blow your head off. Good. My dad ordered. He changed the order about three years ago. That was commotion everywhere. Pardon? And. And I thought he'd lost his mind. I thought, well, I'm clear he's got dementia or something.

[Ed Gamble]

It's the first sign.

[James Acaster]

Absolutely fine. But clearly he's got dementia.

[Unknown]

I imagine this is the worst thing that's going to happen because of that.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Food always leading to the end of your life.

[James Acaster]

You're like, got to take care of my dad for 15 plus years as you watch his steady decline. This is a shame because he's all fish.

[Unknown]

But then it was eating it somewhere else and he thought, I'm going to give it a go. He's a. He's a sort of, you know, he's a bold man and incredible. So good. So they would be a side dish.

[Ed Gamble]

So they're. Are they super light but also like they're like very, very.

[Unknown]

Yeah, exactly that. Very light. And you can really taste the fish.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

In a way that you wouldn't imagine. Because they're probably not like full. They're not deep fried as much as you would deep fry pekora, I guess. So they're like lightly fried. Then you can still taste the fish, which I presume is like cod. Like some white fish in there. And it's. Yeah, it's great.

[James Acaster]

Sounds good. I have a question about your parents being therapists.

[Unknown]

Yep, yep, yep.

[James Acaster]

Because you said your dad maybe heard about fish pakora, decided to try them.

[Ed Gamble]

If this is a great question.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I think I'm. I think I'm on the same page stage.

[James Acaster]

Obviously, therapists can't go about repeating what they've had heard in the sessions, what people have said to them. Yeah. If in the session.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

The person's like talking about something, they go, I said this restaurant. And it's very difficult for me. I went there because they do these amazing fish pakoras. They're just so good. But I told. And then they carry on with their story. And your dad or your mum clocks that and goes, that sounds tasty. Actually. Are they allowed to go and it in their life, then go and get fish pakoras? Because someone mentioned it in a session and it sounded good. Are they allowed to take that?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And do that in their life. Take recommendations from there.

[Unknown]

I thought you're going to ask a diff. I thought you're going to say if. Then in 20 minutes, could they then go. You mentioned earlier about these fish before we go. I think just to sum up.

[Ed Gamble]

Or asking leading therapy questions, being like. And yeah, this place. He had the fish pakoras. You must admit it was what. What was the name of the. Be good to know the name of the place to really understand you.

[Unknown]

Like, reasonably priced.

[James Acaster]

And this feels like a kind of curb episode or something. But if I said to my therapist, yeah, you know, it happened at this. There's this. There's this restaurant called Brat. It's Delicious. I think it's the best restaurant in London. And then I went there a week later and my therapist was there having a meal.

[Ed Gamble]

That's funny.

[James Acaster]

I would be like, are you here because I recommended it? Yeah, because I said it was good.

[Ed Gamble]

I thought it has to be anonymous.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. You can't be. You can't be here.

[Unknown]

That is great. I think what you should do is you should start just mentioning Delicious. Like, you should try and, like, set him up.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Just keep saying Like, I have the best donuts you've ever imagined at this restaurant. And then just see if he goes.

[James Acaster]

Like, if he goes, just be like, you taking my accommodations for our sessions. That's private.

[Unknown]

It was the strangest thing about having practiced therapist was people. I didn't really know what my mum and dad did when I was like a kid. And I would see happy people. They had a office in our living room, in their office in the house. And so I'd see these very happy people walking in and then an hour later, they would just be weeping as they left. And I was like, I wonder what is happening in that space.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I guess dad's telling them off. I've been on the mistaken end of that. Been there, buddy. You gotta.

[Ed Gamble]

Someone's not cleaning their room, you gotta.

[James Acaster]

Pick up your Lego. He hates it. He hates it. I love these fish pakoras. Are they spicy then?

[Unknown]

They are lightly spiced, I'd say. But they're not like, blow your mouth off hot.

[James Acaster]

Because sometimes when we have people come on and they stay in the same place for a different course, it can sometimes be. Especially when it's the side. It can be a bit of a. Okay. They're just doing that because it goes with that. It doesn't seem sound. Both of these sound delicious.

[Unknown]

Oh, I'm glad.

[James Acaster]

I love the sound of your main. I love the sound of this side dish. I would eat both of them. I'm glad that you've stayed in. Habibs.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

I think it works really well.

[Unknown]

I'm glad.

[Ed Gamble]

They sound a bit like saltfish fritters. Like Caribbean cuisine.

[Unknown]

Oh, yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Always like dumplings. Deep fried salt fish.

[Unknown]

Like with.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Fish running through them.

[James Acaster]

But they're not. They're not like Johnny cakes.

[Ed Gamble]

No, they're not like Johnny cake cakes.

[James Acaster]

Just to be clear.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

What are Johnny cakes?

[James Acaster]

What? Johnny cakes again?

[Unknown]

I thought, like, they had nothing to do with me.

[Ed Gamble]

No, nothing to do with you.

[James Acaster]

Well, the kind of cake.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. You might pick cakes for your dessert. They're like sort of flatbread batter type things like dumplings. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

I'm going to eat a Johnny cake.

[James Acaster]

Are you? Not during this meal, though.

[Unknown]

Not during this meal, though.

[James Acaster]

No.

[Unknown]

They're not the thing. All right, great. Yeah, we'll stay away from those.

[James Acaster]

Normally look for the listener. We never tell the guests what the secret ingredient is. But I felt, oh, we've led Johnny to this.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

There's no way I was gonna say, I'll have a Johnny cake. Well, I didn't know they existed.

[James Acaster]

You were on the verge. I thought we'd introduce you to what they are. You said, oh, I'm gonna eat one.

[Ed Gamble]

And I was like, if the next sentence was yeah, it. Why don't I put one on the.

[James Acaster]

Menu and then we go get out.

[Unknown]

That is unacceptable. So I did stand up in a.

[Ed Gamble]

Also when Jody found that out, he moved backwards. But he's had to move to move the microphone closer. Closer to him because he rolled his chair backwards.

[Unknown]

I think I realized what treacherous group. It does sound a bit like a Johnny Cake, doesn't it? Or what's one of them? Oh, wow, you'd like those.

[Ed Gamble]

Why don't you try one?

[James Acaster]

Delicious.

[Unknown]

I like that you fought. How can we get Johnny to say something? He'll probably say his name.

[James Acaster]

Says his own name. And then if he follows that with cake.

[Unknown]

The simplest things out. I would like a Johnny Cake, please.

[Ed Gamble]

I antem Johnny Pakoras. Every single food you say you name after yourself.

[James Acaster]

Johnny Carbonara. Johnny Carbonara sounds like quite the character.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, he's in the mafia with Irish Joe, isn't he? Joe Irish.

[Unknown]

He's trying to get in the blazer. Mangaleshi. He's not like. We're not letting him in. Go away. Johnny Carbonara.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Come on.

[Ed Gamble]

I love living in bread.

[James Acaster]

Put me on the wing. I'm good at throw ins.

[Ed Gamble]

I can play soccer. I'm Johnny Carbonara.

[James Acaster]

It's a good character, isn't it?

[Unknown]

Yeah, I love that. I think you. There's a. You can make that into a sketch.

[Ed Gamble]

Johnny Carbonara. Yeah, make it into one of my sketches. I do.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Many sketches. Like, do you want to interview Johnny Carbonara for the Blazing Bangladeshis Trying to get in the. Try to get in the gag.

[Unknown]

What. What bit of Bangladesh do you feel most proud of?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh my God. I just love Bangladesh, you know.

[James Acaster]

I.

[Ed Gamble]

Love the cuisine, I love the people. I just feel Bangladeshi at heart. I'm Johnny Carbonara.

[James Acaster]

Awesome.

[Unknown]

You're welcome. Addition to the guy.

[Ed Gamble]

Fantastic.

[Unknown]

To be honest, it was quite easy to get in the gang. We were actually recruiting. People were leaving. This isn't the social help me socially as I imagine it was still getting bullied.

[James Acaster]

It doesn't help to that it just.

[Unknown]

Allows the bully to know the group to bully now.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Okay, great. There he is.

[Ed Gamble]

Was there ever a situation where so many Bangladeshis had left, you had to recruit more white people and then it was a fully white gang called the Blazing Bangladeshis.

[James Acaster]

That would have been amazing. Like a kind of atomic Kitten situation.

[Ed Gamble]

Sugar Babes.

[James Acaster]

Sugar Babes. Sor.

[Ed Gamble]

Sugar Babes about it next.

[James Acaster]

Imagine if once like Sugar Babes replaced themselves with members of Atomic Kit and it turned into a. Yeah, but they still called the Sugar Babes.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

That would have been the most confusing. Imagine if Sugar Babes changed the name to Blazing Bangladeshis.

[Unknown]

That would be confusing. That would be very copyright. There's a chance I can make some money from that.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that would be quite the news story, people. Something we this guy.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Is saying that he owns the name Blazing Ban and now he's taking the Sugar Babes look for you.

[Ed Gamble]

I think you'd be a villain on the Internet if you tried to sue someone for using the name Blazer Money.

[Unknown]

You just have to take the money and run.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

This is why people make money.

[Unknown]

This is why people sue Atomic Kid.

[Johnny Pelham]

This episode is brought to you by Nordstrom. Summer's almost out and fall's calling. Luckily, Nordstrom has everything you need for season ahead, all under $100. Discover new arrivals from your favorite brands like Mango, Princess Polly, Free People, BDG and more. Whether you're planning a last minute getaway, heading back to class or refreshing your office looks, you'll find the latest trends in beauty must haves without breaking your budget. It's easy with free shipping, free returns and in store order pickup. Shop today in stores [e-mail] when you.

[Samantha]

Think of skyrocketing brands like Aloe Allbirds or Skims, it's easy to credit their success to great products, sleek branding and brilliant marketing. But here's the overlooked secret. The real magic lies in the engine behind the scenes, the business powering their business. For millions of brands, that engine is Shopify, making selling seamless for them and shopping effortless for us. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Alo Yoga uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.comretail all lowercase go to shopify.comretail to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.comretail.

[James Acaster]

Your dream drink.

[Ed Gamble]

Where are we going for this?

[Unknown]

Interesting question. I guess we're. We're now in London. Overlooking London on like a balcony. Me and I'm having a margarita. Lovely. I love a margarita. Didn't really get into margaritas until about five years ago. Started drinking them too much. And what I've learned about myself really.

[Ed Gamble]

Looked at James there. Yeah, Proper stuck his face forward. Too much.

[James Acaster]

Too much. Yeah. Look at that accent. Not as good as the Johnny Carbonara one.

[Ed Gamble]

Too much. That's what you sound like you do.

[Unknown]

I'm from Yorkshire. Whenever I try new accents, I. To say where I'm doing. And also, I can't. I just. I can't do accents.

[Ed Gamble]

Is that what you had to do in the blazing Bangladeshis?

[Unknown]

I wasn't doing an accent. Can you imagine?

[Ed Gamble]

You wanted to fit in.

[James Acaster]

I think that's like day one out of the gang. Surely he lasted two seconds in the gang and no prices for guessing why. Now we're the ones who bully him.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

The problem with margaritas, though, is I get quite cantankerous after about four. So I'm really jolly. Really jolly. And suddenly I'm like, is this relationship even working? Yeah, Just insane shift in everything.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Just weird because it's tequila, isn't it? So it should be lifting you up and making you happy. That's what the big PR for tequila is these days.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Is that. It's an upper. It doesn't make you cantankerous. But you are here to say I'm swilling it around.

[Unknown]

The bits, dropping out the glass. What is love? Is this meal.

[James Acaster]

While overlooking London.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you have a particular place that you like to get a margarita from? The best margarita you've ever had?

[Unknown]

There was a place, I think it's called, like, 20 stories high in. I don't know why I spoke like that. In Manchester. That was good. So maybe there, but that isn't in London, so I guess.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you.

[James Acaster]

It's high, though.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you for letting me know.

[James Acaster]

The Manchester's not in London. We have a lot of international listeners. They could do with being told that. They probably don't know.

[Ed Gamble]

You could drink it in Manchester and be so high up on a building that you're overlooking London.

[Unknown]

That's what I want.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I mean, even the fact that's impossibility in this universe is wonderful. Just that you can just do anything.

[James Acaster]

Stories high, man.

[Unknown]

Yeah. You have to be 17,000 stories high and you get binoculars when you come in.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it called 20 stories high bonito?

[Unknown]

Have you found 20 stories some people couldn't get?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

If they didn't think 20 stories was hard high.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty high.

[James Acaster]

Was it spelled like stories in a building?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, it's stories and tales. So it's not even about being stories.

[Unknown]

I didn't. I never got that. I was always pissed on my. This is a stupid name. You spelled story wrong, you idiot.

[James Acaster]

What, the ground floor?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You sounded a bit like Johnny Carbonara then.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. You become Johnny Carbonara. That's. Oh, so 20 stories. Okay, let's say.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no.

[James Acaster]

What?

[Ed Gamble]

I just thought you were gonna get Johnny to tell 20 stories.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I have to tell them, but too many. Just Briefly, your favorite 20 stories.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a different podcast. 20 stories. James. We should do that podcast. Top 20 stories.

[James Acaster]

Just call it 20 stories.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I'd say it's an overwhelming number of stories because I can tell stories. I don't want to brag or anything, but I've got a lot of in my, in my head.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

But when so said do 20 stories, your brain goes, wow, so many stories. I don't know how to do that.

[James Acaster]

Maybe the podcast would be 20 episodes. Story each episode.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah. I like, tell four stories. Like, like a starter.

[Ed Gamble]

A story. Mail. Yeah, yeah. Or yeah, we could do it as a story per episode. Call it 20 stories. Record it at the bar. 20 stories. And just get more and more pissed on margaritas throughout the whole thing.

[Unknown]

That is a great. That, that is a great podcast.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I would be a guest on that podcast. Without doubt. Is that funny with cocktails is you just drink them. You. I just forget intellectually, I'm like, oh, there's a lot of alcohol in here. Yeah, this will get me hammered.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And then that just goes out the window completely. And I just neck them at the time. So you think you're funny. Edinburgh Fringe thing. Me and Harriet Kemsley just got apps and they were giving free cocktails out. Just couldn't have been more pissed. And then decided to do the Dirty Dancing. And then Harriet charged at me like a terrified bull, sprinting across the dance floor, presumably thinking I was an expert dancer.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And jumped in the air. I couldn't catch her. We just not to everyone watching, it just looked like how it comes ran across the room and speared me to the ground.

[James Acaster]

And that's one of the stories we arrive at your dream dessert, Johnny Pelham.

[Unknown]

Well, I think I, I. It's quite boring, this, but it's a sticky toffee pudding.

[James Acaster]

That's not boring. It's a classic.

[Ed Gamble]

Classic.

[James Acaster]

Classic for a reason.

[Unknown]

It's the thing I eat. And also when I was.

[James Acaster]

The fact that we both said it together. Yeah. It's like we're. We're a married couple who've been together for, like, 40, 50 years. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. But we still love each other.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, we still love each other, but we say stuff like it's a classic for a reason at the same time. But people go, they haven't even got their own thoughts anymore, these two, because.

[Unknown]

It isn't I think that's so true. It isn't romantic that when you get stage where you're every sentence, you know what the orphan's gonna say? It's like that's not romantic. I think you're bored.

[Ed Gamble]

I think it's the pinnacle of romance.

[Unknown]

Do you?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I love it. Just love it.

[Unknown]

You can, you can be Google to your.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

Your partner's.

[Ed Gamble]

When they, when some, when they're going.

[Unknown]

What was that thing?

[Ed Gamble]

I'm trying to remember. And then you know exactly what it is.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Well that's different though. But like I would say like in terms of like someone saying stuff and then the couple both just say the same thing, have the same opinion about it and use you know, cliched phrases that is. You're nowhere near that.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no.

[James Acaster]

If I asked you and Charlie, we're very different.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

You're not going to both just say the same opinion.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, we're the opposite actually. All of my opinions really upset.

[Unknown]

Well, I think that's healthy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Here's a bad. They're bad opinions. I know they're not nice opinions.

[Unknown]

Those WhatsApp groups op.

[James Acaster]

Talking about Ed.

[Ed Gamble]

Be a gamble lady if you heard his opinions.

[James Acaster]

Heard his opinions. This guy.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Sticky toffee bunny. And I think like a specific time. Basically when I was about 10, I started walking home from school by myself and there was like that's obviously going.

[Ed Gamble]

To make James laugh.

[Unknown]

So why are you laughing at that?

[James Acaster]

Well, okay, it's funny. A lot of reasons funny. So it's funny imagining you as a little 10 year old walking home by yourself herself from school feeling like a big, big man.

[Unknown]

They trust me correctly.

[James Acaster]

It's funny when an adult says stuff like that, it still sounds like a little kid boasting that they walk home from school by themselves. I know that you're not doing it.

[Unknown]

That was a bo and it reminded.

[James Acaster]

Me of starting to walk to, to and from school by myself and on route was this garage and you know where all the, the mechanics worked and if you looked through the window there was a porn calendar. So I remember, I just remember that from walking to and from school which would always just glance in the windows, see some boobies.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

You were laughing and slightly aroused also.

[James Acaster]

Couldn't believe it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Like couldn't believe these men had a picture of a naked woman on the wall.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I can't wait to be that old.

[Unknown]

It's not that.

[James Acaster]

Couldn't wait to be that. No. I was a little Christian boy. So I was like, I can't believe that this is happening and that they do that as men. They around, each going, there's a naked woman. Let's all, all look at it together. Share that. Write our appointments underneath it, you know, like it was crazy.

[Ed Gamble]

I bet the second half of the walk was slower than the first, wasn't it?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I was hunched over.

[Unknown]

Blood gun all over the place.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Lightheaded.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Woozy. Sorry I'm late, miss. I went past the garage again.

[Ed Gamble]

You've got to stop walking past that garage.

[Unknown]

I must go to the toilet immediately.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Confessed it because I'm a little Christian. I looked at the naughty calendar.

[Unknown]

So naughty. But I love it.

[James Acaster]

I'm so sorry. Forgive me. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Imagine like. Yeah, I know the calendar thing is weird, isn't it? Important calendar.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's all weird. And that time where like there was just page three existing.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Look back at that. It's like it just in absolutely an insane period of life.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Even though now it's like the Internet and it's the fucking wild west in terms of porn.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

But then it was like, well, at.

[Unknown]

Least it's private, you know, at least like. Like that is. It sounds like. It's just so crazy. It was just next to the bananas in Tesco, a newspaper woman with a tits out.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Imagine being like, oh, writing in a doctor's appointment below, like, Nikki, 19 from Manchester. Feels weird, doesn't it?

[James Acaster]

It's very weird.

[Ed Gamble]

My prostate checked. Lovely breasts up there.

[James Acaster]

I can't wait till next month as a new lady.

[Ed Gamble]

Hope I make it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Doc, please tell me it's good news. It's the first of the month tomorrow and I can't look forward already I'm.

[Unknown]

Flipping through the whole thing.

[Ed Gamble]

If it's funny, I'm gonna have to look at the back for the little preview squares. Do they have rude advent calendars?

[Unknown]

They must do.

[James Acaster]

Funny if they do open up a door and a dick just pops up. A 3D. A 3D dick just open the door. Really realistic.

[Unknown]

How big?

[James Acaster]

Really big.

[Unknown]

Just a seven inch.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. The first door as well. Yeah. So the rest of the day are. How am I going to work around this? All these other doors. I've got to lift up this dick every time I'm opening the other doors. I can't believe it.

[Unknown]

What's the dick made out of?

[James Acaster]

Is this a real dick? Somehow they've done it. Somehow they've done it where you open it up and a full dick comes out.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a 17th. I gotta lift this deck up.

[James Acaster]

That's another one.

[Ed Gamble]

The 24th. The calendar comes on you.

[Unknown]

It's a Christmas in glory hole.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's what you got in your hands.

[Ed Gamble]

That's good stuff.

[James Acaster]

Man's looking very upset about that. Doesn't like it. Doesn't like that. Doesn't like that calendar with the.

[Ed Gamble]

As soon as I said, for the listener, when I said, do you think they have rude advent calendars? Bonito went. I could see there's a. There's a riff on its way that I'm not going to enjoy.

[James Acaster]

Don't do this for me. I've got. I've got to re. Listen to these when I edit them. And if it goes down well with the listeners, I got to listen to it again for the end of year special. Don't do this to me. Oh, God, they're all laughing.

[Unknown]

It's going down.

[James Acaster]

If it's going down well in the room, it'll probably go down well whenever releases. It's like a nightmare. Don't make me Google. He didn't want to google it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, sorry. The look was actually from Benito saying, don't make me Google.

[Unknown]

Change the algorithm.

[James Acaster]

So I'm pretty sure the one that we riffed isn't real. Yeah, there probably is little.

[Unknown]

There'll be a video of that though.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Someone will be able to make that video.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Or it'll be. I mean, no contact stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

Manual. Do an advert for a rude advent calendar where a dick. A dick pops out of door one.

[James Acaster]

And then I'd like a second video of the person having to open another door but lifted the dick up to get to it. That's my favorite bit.

[Unknown]

You very rarely have to do dick admin in life.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Open that way. And some of them, I like, thought that some of them won't be pornographic.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So they had to lift up the dick and open one. It's like just a little picture of Christmas pudding. And then they got to put the dick back down over it.

[Ed Gamble]

But also balls are in behind a separate door, but not directly below the dick.

[Unknown]

How have they done this?

[Ed Gamble]

It's like a magic trick.

[James Acaster]

Picasso Dick DiCasso.

[Ed Gamble]

There's ass in there as well.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that's another hole. Yeah. Oh, another door. Sorry. 40 in the slip.

[Ed Gamble]

Right. How are we gonna get back from this?

[James Acaster]

The dessert.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah.

[Unknown]

Dessert.

[Ed Gamble]

Sticky toffee pudding. Oh, God, no.

[James Acaster]

That's another door.

[Ed Gamble]

You think it?

[Unknown]

I am. So I walk back from school, little 10 year old me. That was me walking. Then I would just. There was like. You could get two sticky toffee puddings for like £1 50 or something. Or two quid from Tesco.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And I just get them, whack them in the microwave and just eat them both. And it was such a moment in my life where I was like, life's gonna be okay.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I can do this. I'm in control.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Yeah. This is huge. It's like, look, capitalism has many flaws, but if you can make two sticky coffee puddings for 1.99.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

It's a good system.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I think those are, like those moments when you're a kid and you think, when I'm an adult. An adult, I'm just gonna get this and eat it all the time. I can eat this whenever I want. It's gonna be so great. And obviously, when you are an adult, it does wear off a bit. There's still moments in my life where I go. I catch myself and go, this is amazing.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

But, like, those are maybe the greatest moments in your life.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that sense of, like, possibility. You're like this. I'm so free.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Like, I could just do this forever.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And that would be it. And that when you're 10, you think, that'll be such a good life.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Like, that would just be sticky toffee pudding forever.

[Ed Gamble]

Walking home from work, two. Two sticky toffee puddings in the microwave. Ding dong, ding dong.

[Unknown]

Great life.

[Ed Gamble]

I love those. Those formed a large part of my childhood. I think the puddings that you put in the microwave in, like, the white. In the white plastic tubs, and you tip them up on the thing. Sticky toffee pudding or the chocolate one I really like as well. The light chocolate fondant ones you could get.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, I forgot. I'd forgotten about them. They were amazing. Actually.

[James Acaster]

I did a lot of. I. I worked in a lot of, like, pub kitchens, so a lot of the puddings were that. But like, those ones in the pot, you take the film off, turn it upside down, put it in the. Put it in the microwave. So I. I was eating a lot of them, but, you know, sneakily, when the head chef wasn't looking.

[Unknown]

Yeah, but did that make them taste nicer that you're getting away with it? Yeah. You were steam.

[James Acaster]

It's illicit. Yeah, it was great.

[Ed Gamble]

Just like sneaky toffee puddings.

[James Acaster]

Sneaky toffee pudding. That's my nickname in the kitchen.

[Ed Gamble]

No, it wasn't.

[James Acaster]

Huh.

[Ed Gamble]

It's the mash king.

[James Acaster]

It's the mash king. Great mash. Potential potato.

[Unknown]

Do you.

[James Acaster]

I did at the time.

[Unknown]

Oh, really? You know you still have you lost the skill?

[James Acaster]

I think so, yeah. You know, I. I would have to really. I think I'd get the ratios wrong of all the stuff I was putting in. Now I think I could still mash with the best of them, but I don't think I'd get all the ratios right.

[Unknown]

Interesting.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. You just develop a knack for it at the time. It's a sixth sense.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Not.

[James Acaster]

I wasn't seeing ghosts or anything.

[Unknown]

Just make it much different.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Different film.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's a very different.

[Ed Gamble]

I made good mash. Yeah.

[Unknown]

That was in the bear initially.

[James Acaster]

Good for you.

[Unknown]

It's got the sixth sense. Guy made amazing ye around and showed him.

[James Acaster]

He's like, you know, I'm a ghost. Right.

[Unknown]

Who cares? Look at the match.

[James Acaster]

I think it's a big deal. I'm going to read your menu back to you now, Johnny, see how you feel about it. You want still water. You want a French baguette with too much butter.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

You want the carbonara from Florence.

[Unknown]

Yep.

[James Acaster]

You would like for your main, the la makani from Habibs in Brazil. Bradford with a chapati and pilau rice side dish. The fish pakora also from Habibs drink a margarita from 20 Storeys in Manchester, but you want it 20 stories up in London.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And the dessert you would like Two sticky toffee puddings on the way home from school, microwaved by your 10 year old self.

[Ed Gamble]

And you're 10 when you have it.

[Unknown]

Yeah, why not? Let's live in this world. Maybe I'm 10.

[James Acaster]

I'm 10.

[Ed Gamble]

Really delicious. I desperately want to go to Habib's now.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it is good. If you're in Bradford, go to Habib's.

[James Acaster]

Next time I am in Bradford and God willing I will be. I'm going to go to Habib's city.

[Unknown]

Of culture this year and I will.

[James Acaster]

Say Johnny Pelham sent me.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll say.

[James Acaster]

I would like Johnny Pelham's order, please.

[Unknown]

Oh, that. Yeah, they probably.

[James Acaster]

I would like the Pelham. No, that's confusing because your whole family has different orders.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

You just get five covers.

[James Acaster]

Jesus, I could try so much stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

Johnny Carbonara, thank you so much for coming on the off menu podcast.

[Unknown]

It's been.

[Ed Gamble]

What a great menu you. We'll see you soon. Bye bye.

[James Acaster]

Thank you, Johnny. Goodbye.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, there we are. Johnny Perlin. What a lovely episode.

[James Acaster]

An honor A pleasure and a privilege.

[Ed Gamble]

A pleasure and a priv.

[James Acaster]

I think that is the most we've nearly led a guest to say to choosing the secret ingredient. And I hope the listeners will forgive me that I basically came clean and said to Johnny, that is the secret.

[Ed Gamble]

I think we had to.

[James Acaster]

Because, because look, he hadn't heard of it. He wasn't going to choose it. It wasn't going to be on his menu. But we, we were almost telling him like, no, you'd like him, John.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

He was like, oh, I might try one.

[Ed Gamble]

And I gen. I, I thought that might happen when I brought up. Yeah, saltfish. Saltfries. When I brought up saltfish fritters.

[James Acaster]

Because you made them sound similar.

[Ed Gamble]

You were saying, I mean, I guess it's a similar sort of bass. It's like batter based.

[James Acaster]

Right.

[Ed Gamble]

But I thought that might happen. But I thought, surely James isn't cruel enough to try and lead him down.

[James Acaster]

I wasn't gonna try and lead him on.

[Ed Gamble]

But then I remembered who I was dealing with. Dealing with.

[James Acaster]

I thought, we've got to clarify that these aren't Johnny Cakes.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

So I clarified it. But then obviously I'd forgotten why we'd chosen Johnny Cakes. Because his name is Johnny. So obviously Johnny was in like, oh.

[Samantha]

Hi, this is Kim and Pen Holderness.

[Unknown]

From the Laugh Lines podcast.

[Samantha]

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[Ed Gamble]

Boost Mobile offering reliable nationwide coverage backed by a 30 day money back guarantee. Love your service or get your money back, no questions asked.

[Unknown]

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[Samantha]

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[Ed Gamble]

Start saving on wireless today with Boost Mobile's unlimited plans. Starting at just 25amonth, the Boost Mobile.

[Samantha]

Network, together with their Roaming partners cover 99 of the US population. 5G speeds not available in all areas.

[Ed Gamble]

Areas. Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store. Find us online@boost mobile.com Customers who cancel.

[Samantha]

Within 30 days of activation will have Boost service fees refunded, activation fees if applicable, and phone payments will not be refunded.

[Johnny Pelham]

This episode is brought to you by Nordstrom. Summer's almost out and falls calling. Luckily, Nordstrom has everything you need for the season ahead, all under a hundred dollars. Discover new arrivals from your favorite brands like Mango, Princess Polly, Free People, BDG and more. Whether you're planning a last minute getaway, heading back to class or refreshing your office looks, you'll find the latest trends in beauty must haves without breaking your budget. It's easy with free shipping, free returns and in store order pickup shop today in stores [e-mail] when you think of.

[Samantha]

Skyrocketing brands like Aloe Allbirds or Skims, it's easy to credit their success to great products, products, sleek branding and brilliant marketing. But here's the overlooked secret. The real magic lies in the engine behind the scenes, the business powering their business. For millions of brands, that engine is Shopify, making selling seamless for them and shopping effortless for us. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Alo yoga uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com retail. All lowercase case go to shopify.com retail to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com retail.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Johnny Cakes.

[James Acaster]

Johnny Cakes, that's me. What are those? They sound nice. I might try one.

[Ed Gamble]

I was like, oh, oh, he's gonna put it on the.

[James Acaster]

What have I done?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

This isn't fair.

[Ed Gamble]

It wasn't on the menu.

[James Acaster]

It wasn't.

[Ed Gamble]

For those people who still seem to think that the secret ingredient is if a guest mentions them at all. Yeah, they're getting kicked out.

[James Acaster]

That would be crazy.

[Ed Gamble]

No, it's, it's. If it's on their menu.

[James Acaster]

If it's on their menu. Why would it be if they just say it?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it's.

[James Acaster]

That's, that's crazy. Thank you, Johnny.

[Ed Gamble]

That's crazy.

[James Acaster]

That's crazy stuff. Johnny Pelham's fantastic.

[Ed Gamble]

So good. Go and see Johnny do stand up.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And Johnny's at the Edinburgh Fringe with his show. Is it me? Until 25 August. For tickets, go to ed fringe.

[Unknown]

Com.

[Ed Gamble]

It might even be the Edinburgh Festival now.

[James Acaster]

Might be right now that you're listening to this episode.

[Ed Gamble]

So go and see Johnny's show.

[James Acaster]

Go and go and see Johnny's show. Show.

[Ed Gamble]

Very, very funny man. Thank you very much for listening. We will see you next time. Bye bye. Goodbye.