Sharon Wanjohi

Summary

Podcast Title: Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster
Episode: Sharon Wanjohi
Release Date: July 30, 2025
Host/Author: Plosive

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Introduction

In this episode of Off Menu, hosts Ed Gamble and James Acaster welcome the vibrant and talented comedian Sharon Wanjohi to their whimsical dream restaurant. The episode delves into Sharon's unique comedic style, her inspirations, and her carefully curated dream meal, blending humor with heartfelt insights.

---

Guest Introduction

Ed Gamble kicks off the conversation with enthusiasm:

"Sharon Wanjohi, a wonderful comic. Sharon is absolutely brilliant. I've gigged with her a few times. She's always fantastic. She's got a great vibe." ([03:08])

James Acaster echoes the sentiment, adding his admiration:

"I've watched her videos on YouTube, think she's very funny, and heard so many good things from so many comedians. I'm very excited to actually finally be in the room." ([03:12])

---

Dream Menu Selection

Sharon Wanjohi enthusiastically shares her dream meal, which serves as the backbone of the episode. The selection process is both humorous and imaginative, reflecting Sharon's creative personality.

Starter: Bad Bread Bruschetta

Sharon opens with a nostalgic twist on a classic dish:

"I want to start with bad bread as a vehicle for butter. If I could say, 'I ate a whalefin,' I'd just have a spoonful of that." ([23:35])

The hosts engage in a playful dialogue about the nature of the bread and its symbolic significance in Sharon's menu.

Main Course: Mother's Kenyan Cooking from 2007

Sharon's choice for the main course is deeply personal and evocative:

"I want my mother's cooking, but from the summer of 2007, specifically. Kenyan food is where I'm from, tribe-wise. It's very earthy, mazy, and grainy. It's absolutely chef's kiss." ([31:10])

The conversation touches on multicultural influences in Kenyan cuisine and Sharon's fond memories associated with her mother's dishes.

Side Dish: Congealed Chips and Nuggets

Sharon humorously describes her unconventional side dish:

"I want to have congealed chips and five and a half nuggets from the night before." ([46:38])

This choice sparks laughter and further creative elaboration from the hosts, highlighting the playful nature of the show.

Dessert: Fried Chicken Ice Cream with a Brownie

Sharon's dessert selection pushes the boundaries of traditional pairings:

"I want fried chicken ice cream in a bucket, topped off with a classic brownie." ([67:02])

The hosts express amusement and curiosity, appreciating Sharon's bold and imaginative approach to dessert.

Drink: Strawberry Ribena

Sharon's drink choice is a nostalgic nod to her past:

"I want the strawberry Ribena from before sugar was made evil." ([52:27])

This selection ties back to her earlier discussions about memories and the impact of branding on personal preferences.

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Key Discussions and Insights

Throughout the episode, Sharon engages in various humorous skits and character portrayals that add depth and entertainment to the conversation. These segments showcase her versatility and ability to weave storytelling with humor.

Roleplaying and Character Work

Sharon delves into playful roleplaying scenarios, such as impersonating an Italian man whose son struggles at university, and a narrative involving Michael Jackson in a club setting. These segments emphasize her comedic talent and creative imagination.

"If I was at a house party and I could turn water to wine, I'd be doing that to humans, mate." ([10:31])

Nostalgia and Personal Memories

Sharon's selections for her dream menu are deeply intertwined with her personal memories and cultural heritage, offering listeners a glimpse into her background and influences.

"I want to taste the recession. I want to taste Groovy Chick. I want to taste basil brush." ([32:56])

This reflects how food can evoke powerful memories and emotions, a theme that resonates throughout the episode.

Humor and Light-Hearted Banter

Ed and James maintain a light-hearted and humorous tone, often teasing Sharon and each other, which adds to the engaging and entertaining atmosphere of the podcast.

"You have to be in that headspace. So it's not going to be nice when you're like, you've just had your main, it's time for my side dish." ([48:25])

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Notable Quotes

• James Acaster: "If Sharon says the secret ingredient is 'anything that's good,' we'll be kicking her out of the dream restaurant." ([03:53])

• Sharon Wanjohi: "I eat food. If it looks good, I'm eating it." ([07:03])

• Ed Gamble: "This is the first bit of bread you're having." ([23:35])

• Sharon Wanjohi: "Fried chicken ice cream sounds incredible." ([66:37])

• James Acaster: "You've got to keep your heads down for these parts of the meal." ([24:22])

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Conclusion

The episode concludes with Ed and James praising Sharon for her creativity and comedic prowess, encouraging listeners to support her upcoming shows, including her debut at the Edinburgh Fringe.

"We've had a few people do characters on this podcast, but that might be my favorite of all time. So do go and see Sharon at the Edinburgh Festival at the Pleasants." ([69:56])

Ed Gamble and James Acaster wrap up the episode with a blend of humor and genuine appreciation for their guest, reinforcing the inviting and entertaining spirit of Off Menu.

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Final Thoughts

This episode of Off Menu offers a delightful mix of humor, creativity, and heartfelt storytelling. Sharon Wanjohi brings a fresh and imaginative perspective to the dream meal concept, making it a memorable and engaging listen for fans of the show and newcomers alike.

---

Transcript

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, hi, James. Have you heard the news?

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah, go on.

[Ed Gamble]

You and I are modern boys. Because the off Menu podcast is now on YouTube.

[James Acaster]

This is embarrassing.

[Ed Gamble]

Why is it embarrassing, man? You love YouTube.

[James Acaster]

I love watching clips on YouTube. Sure, now people can watch clips of off Menu on YouTube, but it's embarrassing, man.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not embarrassing at all. It's really cool. We're on YouTube with the great and good. The coolest people in the world are on YouTube. Me, you, Logan Paul.

[James Acaster]

Who's Logan Paul? The dad from succession at off menu podcast. That's what Benito's calling us now. And we're on TikTok. This is embarrassing, man.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not embarrassing, man. We're cool. We're like Olivia, Rodrigo and Ed.

[James Acaster]

People have been asking us, battering us, bothering us. Actually, they want to watch the Stephen Graham super cut from the Stephen Graham episode so they can see all of his reactions to us. Everything that he did or Benito has bent to their whims and he's going to put it on YouTube. He's going to do it.

[Ed Gamble]

Follow us at Off Menu official on TikTok at Off menu podcast on YouTube.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You can make a difference in someone's life, including your own, with a job in home care. These jobs offer flexible schedules, healthcare, retirement options and free training. They also provide paid time off and opportunities for overtime. Visit oregonhomecarejobs.com to learn more and apply. That's oregonhomecarejobs.com.

[Ed Gamble]

Hello listeners. Meet Lisa.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Hey there.

[James Acaster]

Lisa runs an online boutique specializing in sustainable fashion. With Acast, she found a whole new way to reach eco conscious shoppers.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yep, I recorded a quick ad, targeted listeners interested in fashion and sustainability using Acast podcast's audience attributes targeting feature and set my budget. Before I knew it, people all over were hearing about my shop.

[Ed Gamble]

Now that's a smart way to grow your business.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Hey, Lisa, what's trending right now? Shopping sustainably. And my sales, of course. Start reaching your ideal audience through podcast ads with Acast.

[James Acaster]

Visit go.acast.com advertise to get started.

[Ed Gamble]

Welcome to the Off Menu podcast. Filming the deer hunter of Kuma. Sitting by the river choir Friendship and eating the cobra of food podcasts.

[James Acaster]

Filming that is a gamble. My name is James Akin because Robert.

[Ed Gamble]

De Niro is filming Deer Hunter. They sat by the river Kwai and he ate cobra. So that's. That's the intro.

[James Acaster]

Together we own a dream restaurant. Every single week. Basic man, we're inviting a guest to be asking their favorite ever start and make the Podcast, side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week, our guest is Sharon.

[Ed Gamble]

Wan Jovi, a wonderful comic. Sharon is absolutely brilliant. I've gigs with her a few times. She's always fantastic. She's got a great vibe.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So I'm looking forward to having her on the pod.

[James Acaster]

We've never gigged together, Sharon and I.

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[James Acaster]

I've watched her videos on YouTube, think she's very funny, and heard so many good things from so many comedians. I'm very excited to actually finally be in the room.

[Ed Gamble]

James doesn't kick with any new comics because he refuses to do mixed Bill shows.

[James Acaster]

Yes. Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Why? Why do I have to do that?

[James Acaster]

Why don't you do a mixed bill show? Whatever.

[Ed Gamble]

People go to the Bill. Bill Murray and do his little shows for everyone.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

And never. And not look another comedian in the eye.

[James Acaster]

Bullseye.

[Ed Gamble]

You're looking a bullseye.

[James Acaster]

Huh?

[Ed Gamble]

You're looking a bullseye, but you won't look in a comedian's eye.

[James Acaster]

I will look in a bullseye. Yeah. I'm not scared. But listen, I'm excited to be on a podcast.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

With an upand coming comedian.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely.

[James Acaster]

However, if Sharon says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we have deemed to be unacceptable, then we will be kicking her out of the dream restaurant. And this week, the secret ingredient is Anything that's good.

[Ed Gamble]

Anything that's good.

[James Acaster]

Anything that's good.

[Ed Gamble]

Another reference to Bob De Niro.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, we're. Look, we're recording this on the day that the De Niro episode went out.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So there is, you know, there's a lot of talk about, you know, someone suggested online that we had anything as long as it's good, which was Bob's.

[Ed Gamble]

Answer to a lot of the courses, which we respect.

[James Acaster]

So Sharon would have to say that phrase. So we're not going to get rid of Sharon if she says anything that's good, that's good.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

But if she says, oh, anything as well, as long as it's good.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Then out.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. Bye.

[James Acaster]

Bye. Yeah, bye bye. Also, huge shout out to the person who commented that it was a real shame that Robert De Niro had done our podcast. Cause it means, like, it gave this particular listener the vision of a dystopian future where even this amazing Hollywood star has to go on these silly little podcasts and. And promote their wares. And then they ended the. The post, I believe, by saying no disrespect to the lads.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. It really made me laugh.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Ed shared that on the off menu. WhatsApp group Alberto shared it. Yeah. But I. I was very glad to see it either way. I was delighted to see it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Very, very funny.

[Ed Gamble]

Very good.

[James Acaster]

That person's listening. Thank you very much. We appreciate you being in our corner.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Sharon is doing her debut show at the Edinburgh fringe at the Pleasants. So if you are heading up to Edinburgh, make sure what is definitely going to be a hot ticket.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. You've got to get along to that show.

[Ed Gamble]

But for now, this is the off menu menu of Sharon.

[James Acaster]

Sharon Ma Johi.

[Ed Gamble]

Welcome, Sharon, to the dream restaurant.

[James Acaster]

Welcome, Sharon Mahe to the dream Restaurant. But it's been your tough time.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Sorry. I thought we were doing sound effects and I got really excited.

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, James was doing a sound effect, I suppose, of bursting out of a lamp. But hum or nino, those are the.

[James Acaster]

Only ones heard humming a hum in ages.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, we need to bring it back.

[James Acaster]

That's good.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Homa supremacy.

[Ed Gamble]

When was the last time you heard homa?

[James Acaster]

I mean, it's got to be a cartoon or an American sitcom of some sort. I'm pretty sure that growing up, someone would. Would quite regularly say hum. What were you. What's your frame of reference for that show?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Just on the streets. I think it's the go to cat call. I heard it this morning on the way here.

[James Acaster]

Someone said humina.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah. I was disgusted because vintage. I was kind of like, okay, I.

[Ed Gamble]

See a throwback when turned around. Did it turn out that the person who said it was a cartoon wolf and their. Their tongue was unrolling and stuff hit.

[James Acaster]

Themselves on the head with a mallet.

[Ed Gamble]

And their eyes burst out there?

[James Acaster]

Nino. Nino. I've heard. Yeah, that's. That's more recent. That's. That, that's. That's never going away. No. Hey, I haven't heard it after. It's a good one. Well, welcome. Are you a foodie?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I eat food.

[James Acaster]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I think that's the full extent. I'm not like a. This pairs well with a whale fin sourced in Iceland in 2040. Like, I'll just. If it's. If it looks good, I'm eating it.

[Ed Gamble]

Would you eat a whale fin that was sourced in Iceland in 2014?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Maybe in secret.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

If no one found out. Just to say I did it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You know?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. You can't say you did it because.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It'S in secret to myself. I said I'd walk around with my head held high and I'd be like, I ate a whalefin.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyone. Anyone brings you down, Anyone says hum and a humming to you on the Street.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Hey, buddy, I ate a whale thing. I'll have you know.

[James Acaster]

Actually, I think that would work. I think if you get the cat callers.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

I think they would back off.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

If someone said I ate a whale thing.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Police. I'd call the police if someone said that to me.

[Ed Gamble]

Nino, Nino.

[James Acaster]

I come in with the nay nos. You got a show that you're taking to the Edinburgh Festival. I am so excited. Can you reveal what it's called?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, because I haven't named it yet.

[Ed Gamble]

Great.

[James Acaster]

It's still three months.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It's still cooking in the belly.

[Ed Gamble]

No, we won't. Today is the way we're going to come up with the name at some point during the episode together, we're all going to. Humina. Humina. It's obviously the front runner at the moment.

[James Acaster]

How are you spelling that for the poster?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

H U M I. Hum, I. Is that crazy? I see an I in it for some reason. I is a very sexy letter. I think so. I think it has that kind of.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it the sexiest letter?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, I'd argue it's E. E? Yeah, it's like curvy, but in like a sharp way. The best of both worlds, you know?

[Ed Gamble]

Lowercase E. No.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, hell no. How dare you. Have some respect for me, please.

[James Acaster]

Uppercase.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Uppercase E, obviously.

[James Acaster]

Is that curvy?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah, I think so. It's like a 90s supermodel.

[James Acaster]

Maybe like euro. The euro.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Maybe that's what it is. Maybe that's the association E. Italians.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Wait, is it. Wait, do they use euros in Italy?

[Ed Gamble]

Last time I checked.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Okay, thank you. I've never been, so I don't know.

[James Acaster]

I'm glad knows stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

That's true. Right? Benito, Google what currency they use in Italy.

[James Acaster]

Okay, so. Is currently the front runner for what your show is going to be called. What can people expect from this show? My debut show.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes. My first baby. I'm going to be a mother, you guys. What can people expect? Fun, pissing, pussy, money, weed, good vibes, cool people. Two for one entry. I don't know, I just want to talk about life. Yeah, I think I might be the first person to do that.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't think anyone said ever back to back. It's about pussy, money, weed. Two for one entry.

[James Acaster]

Does that not make you excited to come?

[Ed Gamble]

I guess. Like pussy, money, weed. I hear that and it's. I'm thinking someone's talking about having a lot of money rather than being good value for the people who are paying to see.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, sure. You don't turn up and expect to hear about a bunch of bargains, some money saving tips. I mean, we've had some people come on the podcast in the past and choose weed.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Really? Yeah, as an option, as a pairing thing with beautiful.

[James Acaster]

With.

[Ed Gamble]

With dishes.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Genius. Has anyone done pills yet?

[James Acaster]

No, I don't think anyone's done. You prefer pills?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Is this, is this on record? I've never tried it.

[James Acaster]

Oh yeah, we recorded.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Is this thing on? I've never tried drugs ever. I've never taken a paracetamol. I've never tried coffee. How dare you even insinuate that I'm a good Christian woman. I'll have you know I don't even have the wine at church.

[James Acaster]

Like to speak about your favorite bits of the Bible.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, all of it is so juicy. I don't even know where to begin. What's your favorite part of the Bible?

[James Acaster]

What was my favorite part? I like it when Jesus trashes the temple. Yeah, that gets glossed over so much.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

The fact he absolutely trashed the fuck out of a temple once. It was not what we're supposed to do.

[Ed Gamble]

Have you read that one? The bit that's supposed to be like that was edited out of the Bible. Like Jesus is a teenager when he like blinds a kid. No.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

What?

[Ed Gamble]

Have you read that one? Look out, Bonita. That's true. Apparently there's a bit of the Bible they cut it. They cut out is about. Because you never hear about Jesus as a teenager.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

And like one of the stories is he gets annoyed with a kid and blinds him with his magic powers.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh my God. Jesus hasn't has an Asbo.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Crazy. Makes sense that he would have an Asmo or that he would not, you know, growing up with his powers that he, he as a teenager, he would misuse them at some point.

[Ed Gamble]

It makes sense. I think they should have left it in.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Like that would. That connects me more to Jesus. Like we all had. We all had a difficult teenage years. Right.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

If I was at house party and I could turn water to wine. I'm doing that to humans, mate.

[Ed Gamble]

Water to aftershock.

[James Acaster]

Yes. Yeah. Water to hadn't even been invented yet. Like, what is this blue liquid?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

This is great. I'm going to have a hangover for sure.

[James Acaster]

But then I guess if it is like during the school years, it will get a bit Harry Potter, won't it? Yeah, like the Harry Potter series. I imagine the Christians are going to come for you. Yeah, my parents are Christians so they're going to get me straight away. You should have said that stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

You go to hell, Benito. I want to be factually accurate. What we. What we're looking at here, Benito can't find anything about blinding a kid. So now I'm worried I've made that up.

[James Acaster]

Oh, my God.

[Ed Gamble]

So apologies to anyone who's across the scripture.

[James Acaster]

If you start a rumor about Jesus, that's cool.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah. Give it 100 years. That's happened.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yeah, that's cool.

[James Acaster]

We always start. We still have sparkling water. Sharon, do you have a preference?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Sparkling. All the way.

[James Acaster]

All the way.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

All the way. I love it. It makes me feel like it's like the water equivalent of an LSD trip. But I've never done drugs, so I wouldn't know what that feels like.

[James Acaster]

I'm obsessed with you.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Making it sound.

[James Acaster]

You are most drug obsessed guest ever.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. But you've never done them. You just like the idea of.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I just like the idea of them. Ye. I imagine that's what it'd be like.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Love a bit. Sparkling water. I like it when it's like a brand you've never heard of before and it's like at the back of the fridge. No one's touched it for like 25 years and it just tastes like TV static. Put that aside.

[Ed Gamble]

That's interesting because we've had the TV static thing before, but it's normally people saying that they hate that. But you like the idea of tasting TV static.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It's so whimsical.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

How many, how many parts of the day do we get to inject a bit of whimsy? Have some funny water that bubbles on your. Dang. It's so like bubble, bubble, toil and travel. It's great. I love it.

[James Acaster]

You went into witch territory at the end.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Is that not allowed?

[James Acaster]

No, you can. I'm just wondering if that's the vibe you'd like for your watercourse. Do you want. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you want it from a cauldron?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, my God. Bubbling. Yeah, I want to see like a frog, like just kind of hanging on the side. Get me a glass of that, please. Waiter? I'll have ten.

[James Acaster]

Do they also hang out in groups of three witches? Is it? I mean.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, that's the classic.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It is the classic. That's a stereotype and we don't really like that stereotype.

[James Acaster]

We.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah, like I'll have like a big, you know, trip to Magaluf with the girls. And it's like seven of us. So it's not always just like three witches. Sometimes it's More. Sometimes it really depends on the friendships you form.

[James Acaster]

You know, how many are going to Magalu for witches? Seven or seven.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It was meant to be seven. One dropped out yesterday, which is really annoying because we've kind of already paid for everything. But. Yeah, you know, she's trying to get eye of new at the moment, which is really hard. So, you know, we'll leave her to do her thing and just kind of send her pictures in the group chat, you know.

[James Acaster]

When you get the eye of newt, does it have to be alive, the newt, as you scoop it out?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It depends on what you're trying to do with it. I think if it's, like, topical, I think it's better to have it powdered. Then you can control the kind of. We've really kind of. I'm actually thinking about it now. I'm like, where can I get Iovnu?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. No, I'd like to know about it.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm sure there's some shops you can get eye of new 100. Yeah. Witches are very in. Right. So are they. Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Is it the time of the witch?

[Ed Gamble]

Feels like it's the time of the witch.

[James Acaster]

I felt like the time of the witch was when that film came out.

[Ed Gamble]

Hocus Pocus.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Which.

[James Acaster]

Not Hocus Pocus. Not the witch.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

The Lizzie McGuire Movie.

[James Acaster]

The Craft.

[Ed Gamble]

The craft, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I'm thinking of the craft.

[Ed Gamble]

But now I think, like, a lot of people buy crystals and stuff and say they're a witch, right?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah. And I like that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, you like that?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I think it's fun.

[Ed Gamble]

You're a crystal lady.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

If I bought a tennis racket tomorrow, I'd tell everyone I was pro tennis. Why does it. Why does it change just because it's crystals?

[James Acaster]

What?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Nobody needs to know.

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, tennis rackets work for the reason that they're made, though, right?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah. What are you saying about crystals?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, it's bullshit.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, I'm gonna curse you. I'm gonna curse you.

[James Acaster]

I'd say a tennis racket. Yeah. You can at least prove that it is a tennis racket by hitting a ball with it. And it works in a game of tennis. I'm not saying crystals don't work, but I'm just saying it's harder to go.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm just saying you can play tennis without charging your racket. In a full moon.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You will both begin to turn blue in three days. This is a warning I've let you know.

[James Acaster]

If you say stuff like that, you sound like Jesus when he was 14. That's why he used to say the kids.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

He was right.

[James Acaster]

You keep bullying me. Do you want anything in that water? Do you want anything, Any ice? Any slice?

[Ed Gamble]

Apart from the frog's leg?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, I just want to just. Apart from the frogs?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I want to get straight to the water. I don't have to fight my way through ice. These giant ice cubes that are now suddenly popular. Can I just say, giant ice cubes need to get in the bin. Yeah, sorry. That's something I'm really passionate about. How dare you overload my. I've asked for a little bit of ice.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Why am I just seeing ice in the car? Why am I chewing my drink? That's rude.

[James Acaster]

100 the other day. So, like I'm trying to stop drinking. Well, I, I've. I've stopped drinking for a bit. I mean, yeah, I'll go back to it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

There's no way I'm. There's no way I'm quitting it forever. But I'm having a little break.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Right. It's been about a month and I went somewhere and I'll try the, you know, alcohol free cocktails. I had a. No Groni. They brought it over with a block of ice in it that was like as big as the entire contents of the glass. Like, which is okay when it's a boozy drink. You kind of accept that. It's not okay really, but you accept it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

When it's a mocktail, you really get fucked off.

[Ed Gamble]

Because that is the same price as.

[James Acaster]

A normal same price. There was hardly anything and it's basically just juice.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh my God.

[James Acaster]

So like two sips and it's gone. And then the waiter turned up and I was, I was like, you know, I was a bit annoyed, but the waiter turned, went, oh, you finished that quickly. I went, yeah. All in was made in the ice. That's why.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

That's cheeky. They were taunting you. That was a social experiment to see if you'd say anything.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I think, I mean, I get it with a booze cocktail, but I'd rather have no ice in it. Just give me a very cold glass. Warm alcohol, very cold glass. And then when you're shaking or mixing a cocktail, it gets a cold anyway, so freezing cold glass cocktail in there. And then because I'm necking it anyway, Sharon, it's going down quick. I don't need ice in there to keep it cold over the next half an hour when I drink it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just, just put the cold drink in my body as quickly as possible.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You shake because you love alcohol so much. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

In the mornings.

[James Acaster]

Problems or bread? Problems or bread? Shabbat, Joey. Problems or bread? Switch around. Flip it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Gotta keep you guessing.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Nino came out first.

[Ed Gamble]

The police knew what was coming. It was a sting.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It felt right at the time.

[James Acaster]

A sting.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It has to be bread. It has to be bread and it has to be hard bread. And I want the bread to not be very good. I think bread is a vehicle for butter. If I could. If I could say to the waiter, hey, just bring me a spoon and I'll get on with the butter. If that was socially acceptable, I would.

[James Acaster]

You just eat the butter with a spoon? We could do that for your. I mean, this is your dream meal.

[Ed Gamble]

This is your dream meal.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Secret all the time. But I'm saying if society accepts. Accepted, it would be in a much better position, I think, just globally. Okay, so hard, stiff bread, that just cuts the inside of my mouth. Yeah, it's almost pain. It feels like a bush tucker trial. Like I'm struck. Like I'm crying. I'm like, why? Why am I doing this to myself? Soft, creamy, butter, fresh. I want to taste the other. Just spoonfuls of that. I want to taste the other. I want to taste the cow's name.

[James Acaster]

Well, listen, we can do that for you. We can have it that you just lick butter off of an udder if you like.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, my God.

[James Acaster]

You don't have to go through the rigmarole pretending you like bread or having that. We can just butter up a live cow's udder and you can have the whole. All the butter off of there and.

[Ed Gamble]

Don'T worry about it not being socially acceptable. This is your dream meal. So you don't have anyone there.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, okay. Empty restaurant. I'm just on the floor on my hands and knees. I imagine muddy for some reason. I know there's mud in there somewhere.

[James Acaster]

You want it?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

And I'm just licking. Soft, creamy.

[Ed Gamble]

But of the cow's order.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

That sounds like my next birthday plans, actually. That sounds incredible.

[James Acaster]

Happy birthday.

[Ed Gamble]

So you can taste the cow's name?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

What's the cow's name?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Ooh, where am I? Give me a location. Let's do a bit of improv.

[James Acaster]

Well, Newcastle.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah, Newcastle. I'm getting Penelope. Penelope.

[James Acaster]

Geordie name.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I don't know any Geordie names.

[Ed Gamble]

Sounds good in Geordie, though.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Penelope. Is that.

[James Acaster]

I mean, I'm not one to criticize.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Accents, but that's what you do, a Newcastle accent.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It'S not as easy as it sounds, is It.

[Ed Gamble]

He really gets in his head with accents, Sharon.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I do accents. Mean a lot to me.

[Ed Gamble]

Whenever we have actors on, he always asks them, how do you do? How do you do voices? He's always blown away by acting.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

How do you do voices?

[James Acaster]

No, I can't understand how people can do it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Do a little boy and he's just fallen down a well, but he's kind of happy about it. That's your prompt. Oh, I might have just fallen down a well.

[Ed Gamble]

Are you from Newcastle as well?

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, I'm from Newcastle. I'm from Newcastle. I'm down a well.

[Ed Gamble]

The last thing. The last thing I'd shout if I was down a well was where I was from.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Right then.

[James Acaster]

Anyone, you know, anyone else who kind of is from there will probably empathize with you, but get you out of the well. Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

What if they're from Leeds? Would they just walk away from the well? Yeah, it's from Newcastle.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Yeah, it could be, actually.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You see the pitfalls of that year.

[James Acaster]

Driving a wedge there. So maybe. Maybe. I wouldn't say that. Surprised myself. About. Good. That was. That was really.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

That was actually.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that was great. Sharon agrees.

[Ed Gamble]

Sharon, do you agree?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'm a guest, so I have to. I have to say yes.

[James Acaster]

Correct.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'm sorry, but with love.

[James Acaster]

You do your Newcastle.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No.

[James Acaster]

Fair enough. We say yes to Shrek impressions.

[Ed Gamble]

I value people who come and see me in Newcastle, so I refuse to do it.

[James Acaster]

I value them as well. They know that I value them.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah, they know I value them. But I will always do their accent when I do gigs there as well.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

So you can do the accent?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, it's good accents.

[Ed Gamble]

No, but not under pressure. I'll be honest.

[James Acaster]

He is good at accents, though. I admire it when I don't see his stand up. He has a lot of voices.

[Ed Gamble]

I do do a lot of voices.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

He's doing problematic ones.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I know. I stick to the. They're broadly white European.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'd say give us your best Malaysian accent.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, here we go.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

And in 3, 2, 1.

[James Acaster]

We should do a hard cut to a sound effects first. Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Get Phil wang to record something and.

[James Acaster]

Then we'll drop it in any particular type of butter. Any brand that you'd like on this. And the cow's gonna be docile, by the way.

[Ed Gamble]

But this is.

[James Acaster]

But chilled out.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

There was never doubt in my mind that the cow would be up for it. I'd like to think they'd fill out couple forms and, you know, consent forms.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I think so. And the cow's not, like, kicking around?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No.

[James Acaster]

Okay.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Why am I here?

[Ed Gamble]

Do you. So I take it when you say brand of butter, James, surely the butter is made from the milk that's come from the other that you're looking at?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah, 100%. I want the full experience.

[James Acaster]

I don't think so. Honest.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

To bond in that.

[James Acaster]

Get a pack of butter from the soup.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, my God. If I was a cow and you put someone else's butter on me, I'd start a revolution.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'd start campaigning. Yeah. I want.

[Ed Gamble]

It's kind of weird for the cow to have its own butter put back on its udder, I would say.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I think it's kind of like a breastfeeding mom having milk around her nipple. It's kind of like, oh, that's a bit. It's not where it's meant to be.

[Ed Gamble]

But the milk's been taken away, put into butter form and then spread back.

[James Acaster]

On the mum's nipples and turning it into something greater. Breast milk. And then someone went away and made butter out of it and then put it back on her boobs. I think she'd be like, this is not the same as if the milk. Gone.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Are you guys breastfeeding mothers?

[Ed Gamble]

That's true. We can't speak for.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

There we go.

[James Acaster]

I'm breastfeeding mothers. Someone's got to pay it forward. Goes down the chain.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not a satisfying experience for them, is it like a human centipede where.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

They'Re all just kind of hanging off the nipple before. That's an awful image.

[Ed Gamble]

That's good. I mean, it's. You know. If the makers of the Human centipede are looking for a sequel.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Your dream starter.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I want more bread. I want more bread. But now with things on the bread.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, is this the bad bread again?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, no. Now, this is good bread.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no. So hang on, you didn't have bread in the. Popping them.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

So have it as like a vehicle.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

No, because you got the other. Because you got the other in the first one. So now this is. This is the first bit of bread you're having.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, in that case, I don't think I'd have bread.

[James Acaster]

What?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'd want bread times two.

[James Acaster]

You could have bread in the bread course as well. You know, if what you'd prefer is the bread, that's the vehicle for the butter. You don't want to have it off the cow's header. We were just trying to steer you towards what you were saying you would do. Definitely, yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

If it's an option, I'm not gonna say no. But if I'm, like, on a first date, for example, I'm not gonna bring my own cow with me. I think that'd be insane. So I would, like, fake the. I'd be like, this bread is so good. But actually, I'll have had five tubs of butter.

[Ed Gamble]

I really like your instinct, which was, I'm either having bread times two or no bread.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Why would I have bread if I wasn't having bread before?

[Ed Gamble]

Because then you're having bread.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, bread is nice when you have more bread after, Right? When you're in anticipation of more bread.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

But then you have to have bread, though, right?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

So you have to have bread before you have the bread. I. When I put.

[Ed Gamble]

You know. But the first time you have the bread, you haven't had any bread before that, have you?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I think I'm kind of always in a state of having just had bread. I don't think I go more than two or three hours without having bread in my system.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Makes me feel off. So, like, I haven't taken my meds that day.

[Ed Gamble]

We'll give you some bread.

[James Acaster]

I don't know why you don't understand.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Like, no, no, I've given up now. So we'll give you some bread with the udder.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

But then your starter is more bread, but with things on it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

With things on it.

[Ed Gamble]

And is this the bad. The bad bread?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

This is good bread.

[Ed Gamble]

This is good bread.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

This is delicious bread now. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Is it important to you that you start with bad bread and then have good bread?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes. Because you can't start with good bread and then go to bad bread. Because you're like, I've just had good bread. Now I'm having bad bread. What the heck? Yeah, what the heck.

[James Acaster]

You're spilling the out because of how Christian you are.

[Ed Gamble]

Talk us through the good bread.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Good bread has to be soft in my mind when I'm eating it. I want to see, like, an old Italian man who just loves his kids, and he's always complaining, oh, Mario not do good in unique. And I want to hear him say that when I'm eating the bread and he has a mustache and he laughs. He has, like, a really big, jolly laugh.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

That's what I want to taste when I bite.

[Ed Gamble]

But Mario, no good. Do good.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No do good uni.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

What course is Mario doing? You know, don't say plumbing.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

And I really wanted to.

[James Acaster]

I can tell.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Graphic design, then. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Why isn't he doing good, though? Why isn't you doing.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Why am I only just getting distracted? He's just getting distracted by all the pretty girls. Because graphic design has quite a few pretty girls in it.

[James Acaster]

Does it?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It does. I think as university degrees go, it's pretty up there in terms of the fitbirds.

[James Acaster]

Wow.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh. I instantly regret saying.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. So you want to imagine an old Italian man complaining that his son isn't doing well at university.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

That's the sort of bread you want?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Absolutely, absolutely.

[Ed Gamble]

So, like, an Italian bread, like a focaccia or something?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Have to be Italian? No, but the man making it has to be Italian.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

And I need to taste that and I need to know. Mary's not doing good.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Academically.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

What's on the bread?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It depends on the cuisine. I think if I'm at an Italian restaurant, I want, like, you know, classic bruschetta. I want to say bruschetta. Maybe say bruschetta. Just want some tomatoes on that. Stop. A bit of olive. Are you crazy? Bit of sexy. Bit of olive oil. Yeah. Now we're talking. That's beautiful, that. A little bit of garlic. It. Why not Sunday?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Let's get a bit. Get a bit crazy with it.

[James Acaster]

I have. We ended up so, like you, a bit more sinister for this one. I think the cow's getting a bit scared.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

This is sinister.

[James Acaster]

Well, the way you just said that. Listen to it. Listen back to it when it goes out.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I will.

[James Acaster]

Like, that's more of a sinister character than the person who was licking the cow's out of her.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

The cow's into it, though.

[Ed Gamble]

Is the cow there for the whole meal now?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'd like to think so. I think we go on the journey together. I think if someone was eating my butter off my breast, I'd want to stay for the rest of the meal and see how they got on.

[Ed Gamble]

And with the cow, like, I'd want to go home. Would the cow be eating as well with the cow? Be just chilling tomatoes on that bit.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Probably do a couple rounds of, like. Are they on a first date? You know, just kind of have a good time.

[Ed Gamble]

She's just been licking the cow's tits, so I hope they know each other. It's a bit much for a first date, if anything.

[James Acaster]

And do you want the Italian man to be there as well?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, I actually want him to be in Italy, so we never cross paths, but I know he's out there. It's kind of like a Sophie Kinsella book where like, kind of. We're just like ships in the night.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

We're at airport at the same time. But I'm going to Italy, he's coming to London, for example. We just, you know, keep missing each other. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So I don't. I don't read many books, so. Because other books are there, people just like messing each other narrowly.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It's like classic beach read romance. It's me and my boss don't get along, but actually he's gonna fuck me in this elevator in three weeks. Like, it's very like, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, so the character can predict what's gonna happen in the future.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I like to think the readers can.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, the reader can.

[James Acaster]

Oh, the reader can wait.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Why was the character going, I'm gonna.

[Ed Gamble]

Be fucking three weeks. In three weeks, I'm gonna get fucked in this elevator.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. What a super good. It's quite a good opening paragraph to a book.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Me and my boss don'. But in three weeks I'm gonna. It.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I like three chapters on my desk.

[James Acaster]

I'll be on board for that. Yeah, okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but it's not that. It's. You just know there's an Italian man in the world.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just. I feel his presence.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Like, hold on. It's like when you smell your mom's perfume in Perfect. You're like, wait, that reminds me of something.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

If you ever meet, like an Italian man who's like in his teens or twenties is. Who's like saying about. Is struggling at university, do you ever ask them, can your dad bake?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I mean, I haven't had the chance to so far, but now I'm gonna be on the lookout. I'm gonna add every Mario in London on Facebook and I'm gonna ask, what does your dad do for a living? That would be my opening line.

[Ed Gamble]

There's gotta be one.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

There's gotta be one.

[Ed Gamble]

There's gotta be one. Mario in London, whose dad's a baker.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Has to be one.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, but he also, like, I think. I think you got to ask them, what does your dad do for a living? And are you keeping your grades? That's the two things you have to ask.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Who are you?

[James Acaster]

And why are you looking for those things you don't waste your time with like, yeah, my dad's a baker. And then you're like, right, great, I want to meet your dad. And all this. And then you discover. Actually, they're top of their class. Really? Well, they're going to get first the teacher's pet.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

That would annoy me.

[Ed Gamble]

So if you find. I mean, basically you've got to say you've got to start going to your lectures because your dad's really worried and it's affecting his.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, because I think the fact that the dad is stressed means he's pouring that energy into the bread because he's.

[Ed Gamble]

Like, kneading the dough. Yeah, yeah, Mario.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

So I wouldn't want Mario to get his grades up. If anything, I'd be like, hey, like, I know a great number for cat. Yeah, go listen. I don't know. I wouldn't, you know, ask maybe like a youth.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I wouldn't know. Yeah, but I would. Yeah, I'd ask for the number from someone who would know.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

So you ruined Mario's life in order to improve his dad's bacon.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

People have done worse for less.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, absolutely. I think that story was cut out the Bible from Jesus. Doing it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You can make a difference in someone's life, including your own, with a job in home care. These jobs offer flexible schedules, health care, retirement options, and free training. They also provide paid time off and opportunities for overtime. Visit oregonhomecarejobs.com to learn more and apply. That's oregonhomecarejobs.com.

[James Acaster]

Hey, listeners, meet Russell. Hey. Russell just launched a fitness app and.

[Ed Gamble]

He needed to get the word out to busy professionals looking to stay focused fit.

[James Acaster]

So I turned to acast. I used their smart recommendations feature to easily find shows that talk about health and fitness. Booking sponsorships through their platform was a breeze. And just like that, my app was in their ears during their morning run. Sounds like a smart move, Russell.

[Ed Gamble]

How's business looking now?

[James Acaster]

Sweat is pouring and so are the installs. Spread the word about your business with.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Podcast ads on Acast.

[James Acaster]

Start today at go.acast.com/, advertise your dream.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Main course for a main. I want my mother's cooking, but from the summer of 2007, specifically, I want it when I bite into this meal. So, like, Kenyan food is where I'm from in Kenya, tribe wise. It's very, like, earthy. It's very, like, mazy and grainy, and I love that. And all together, it's absolutely chef's kiss. I want it from 2007 specifically because there's something about, you know, your mother's cooking growing up, and you just remember, like, I don't know, it takes you back to that place. It's like that scene in Ratatouille. So I want to taste, like, the recession. I want to taste Groovy Chick. I want to taste basil brush. Like, I want to just bite into it and just have all those memories flood into my head.

[Ed Gamble]

So was your mum's cooking particularly good in 2007?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

100%.

[Ed Gamble]

Were you doing badly at school?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, my God. You've just made a great connection. I was really struggling with math.

[Ed Gamble]

There you go.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It works. Was I the Mario all along?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, my God.

[James Acaster]

Wow. What a twist.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Guys, I'm coming out as a Mario. This is a platform to do it. Thank you. You're so supported.

[Ed Gamble]

So what were the things you want to taste? Recession, Basil brush.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

And Groovy Chick.

[Ed Gamble]

And Groovy Chick.

[James Acaster]

Specifically Groovy Chick. What was that?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Groovy Chick was like Bratz or Barbie that kind of, like, this is marketed towards young girls. And it had this one blonde chick with.

[Ed Gamble]

I just remember it's on stationary a lot.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

A lot.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I think you'd recognize the style of it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

If you saw it, you'd be like, oh, yeah, I know that bitch.

[James Acaster]

She like, cartoon.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Skit. Really skinny.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Like, pencil thin almost.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I know. Groovy.

[Ed Gamble]

What happened a lot now, because I guess it's, like, nostalgic now. Yeah, yeah. It's like retro.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

We get it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It was so cool when you're six, you know? I mean, I feel like the girls who are Groovy chick now would have bullied me back in the day, and I resent them for it.

[Ed Gamble]

Right.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I hate women, by the way. I don't know.

[James Acaster]

You're in good company.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Women.

[Ed Gamble]

Bonita.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'm trying to get you guys canceled. This is great.

[James Acaster]

That soundbite canceled by women. We still got a lot of people listening to. The Fellas are looking. Let's keep listening.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I didn't know I was on the Andrew Tate podcast. This is great.

[James Acaster]

He gets good numbers. So what is the actual dish?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

So I'd have, like. I don't know how to explain Kenyan food. Mokimo, which is like a mash with spinach and sometimes sweet corn or maize in it. And it's absolutely stunning. It's just like a mash, but with more flav. And then you have things like chapati, which is borrowed from India. There was a kind of a lot of crossover with the dishes of Kenya and India. I'd have a classic stew. Give me beef again. I want to taste the cow's name. Yeah, that's going to be a reoccurring.

[Ed Gamble]

Can I just check this isn't this same cow.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, this. Oh, God, no. And I wouldn't eat in front of her. Like, shield myself.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'd be like.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Because if you taste the name and then it turns out that Penelope knew.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Friends related. Maybe she hated. Maybe Penelope hated this particular cow. Yeah, that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Eat her again. I don't know. Something along.

[James Acaster]

Those could be a Kenyan cow.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, I'd feel bad, fellow countrymen. No, that's. That's awful. Maybe somewhere that he'd be a British cow. That'd be a good way to get.

[James Acaster]

Some sort of likelihood that Penelope's going to know it. She's from Newcastle, you know, trying to.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Penelope's not from Newcastle. She just grew up there. Racially, she's black.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. So.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

And definitely African. Like, why would.

[James Acaster]

You shouldn't have assumed.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

How dare you? It whitewashed my history.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, Benito, I'll say it now and then you gotta go back and put it in. Okay. And what's Penelope racially. Drop that in.

[James Acaster]

Drop that in.

[Ed Gamble]

Just. Cause I don't wanna get in trouble. Forgot to ask where the cow was born.

[James Acaster]

Shaman should answer it. Or do you want me to? I can just jump in and go black, I imagine.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Sound bite that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So just put it in like that.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, I hope AI gets a hold of that.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

So the recent crimes.

[James Acaster]

Black eye.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Imagine.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that's it. End of career. Shame of a place to be on the podcast. Everyone's happy. We plan all along. Yeah. What is the link between. When I. When I was in Kenya, which is only once, I had the best samosas I've ever had. Anyone to Kenya? Only once.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

What were you doing in Kenya?

[James Acaster]

My dad.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Colonizing, I imagine.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I was colonizing.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Actually.

[James Acaster]

It went pretty well. When he was 23, my dad lived there for three years. He's a teacher there. So for his 50th, we all went back there to see the people that he used to work with. But there was this garage around the corner from where we were staying. The best samosas I've ever had. Like, just incredible.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

They are. Well.

[James Acaster]

And like, I think I think about them quite a lot.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, my God.

[James Acaster]

But like, I didn't know there was, like, when you just said then about the link between Indian food.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

There is also kind of like a mass migration in like. Like the 60s, 50s and 60s. So they bought a lot of food, which is nice. And it still exists in Kenya today. I think we just kind of borrowed a lot of like. Yep, we'll have that. That's tasty. So now that's Kenyan.

[Ed Gamble]

I've been to Kenya as well.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Really?

[James Acaster]

What.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

What the hell are you guys doing in Kenya? What were you doing in Kenya?

[Ed Gamble]

Think of the poshest reason to go to Kenya.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Safari.

[Ed Gamble]

Yep.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah, go on in. I'll have a couple elephants and I. Thank you.

[James Acaster]

Just climbing out the jeep with a bowl of butter. Going towards an elephant.

[Ed Gamble]

The amount of animals I let.

[James Acaster]

Butter.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Sharon's hungry. What did you.

[Ed Gamble]

Most of the big ones. Sorry, most of the main ones. I'd say so.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

The big ones.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, the main ones.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, the main ones.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

What are the main ones?

[Ed Gamble]

Pigs.

[James Acaster]

I was hoping you're gonna say the main ones weren't lions.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, that's good.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Wait.

[Ed Gamble]

Little.

[James Acaster]

That's a little. Little point about mains. The main ones. Oh, you know the main ones. Oh, sorry.

[Ed Gamble]

You really.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You set me up there, and that's really embarrassing.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, sorry.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I think you should quit comedy.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should quit comedy, too.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I think you should move to Mexico. Now. That's really embarrassing.

[James Acaster]

We tell him this every week. Me and Benito say yeah, goes. I'd can't have a word. You should quit comedy.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Book either plane tickets. Just leave.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, no one still books me for his stupid gigs.

[James Acaster]

Kenyan Fanta.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You know about Kenya Fanta? Delicious, isn't it? Absolutely incredible. And it's orange. Yeah, it's like orange. You know the color orange?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It's. I don't know what they put in it, but it's like crack. And again, I've never done drugs, so I wouldn't know what that.

[James Acaster]

I wouldn't know what that is to drugs.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. You really keep letting this.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It's like love crushing it and snorting it.

[James Acaster]

It's always a different drug every time as well.

[Ed Gamble]

We have talked. We've talked about Kenyan Fanta on. On this podcast before.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

With a Kenyan.

[James Acaster]

No, it's been people who have bought up Fanta in other African countries. And then I've said yes. I love Kenyan fantasy. You know, maybe some people have.

[Ed Gamble]

No. Nigerian fans has come up before.

[James Acaster]

Nigerian fans.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Nigerian Fanta is incredible.

[James Acaster]

I think maybe. Maybe Kenya.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, you can buy that here.

[James Acaster]

No. Where.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah, in, like, the places where the white people aren't.

[James Acaster]

Oh. But as soon as I go there, it'll be finished.

[Ed Gamble]

The ultimate dilemma.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Gentrification sometimes works against us.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

And then I'd probably pair it with, like, a watermelon elf bar, I think just as, like, a little palate cleanser. Yes.

[James Acaster]

What? Other than what elf Bar. What's an elf bar? I've never had an elf.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

A vape.

[James Acaster]

Oh, okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Just to kind of like.

[Ed Gamble]

It's the first shout out for elf bars. We've had someone pick a lost Mary for.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, no. Lost Mary at the end of the meal. Surely, surely. Just to top it off nicely, I think in the middle of a meal, it's. It's way too intense.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You've got to calm down there. Whoever said that needs to calm down. Maybe check in on them, because that. That is. Honestly, Michelle, that's.

[Ed Gamble]

I ain't checking in.

[James Acaster]

No, she said I was like Kramer. I said I was like Kramer's English cousin.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, it was bad.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

How did you feel about that?

[James Acaster]

Oh, well, I couldn't argue about it because she just said you're like. Like there's an episode of Seinfeld and Kramer's English cousins coming to visit and Kramer's really stressed because they don't get on. But everyone keeps saying a Kramer, but you're exactly alike. So not only was it, like, spot on, she'd done me. But also completely Seinfeld episodes. Yeah. So it's, like, so good. That's it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

She read you for film.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. So are you vaping while you're eating in between bites, or are you waiting until the end of the course?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You finish the meal so you have the full experience and then you go in with an elf bar just to kind of palate cleanse.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a palate cleanser.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It's a palate cleanser. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Fantastic. At the start of the episode, you were like, I'm not really a connoisseur with food. This pairs with this, but with vapes, you're like, that's at the end of the meal, 100%, that is. After that, you have to match notes.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

So, like, I wouldn't have a watermelon elf bar with, say, a steak. That would be completely wrong.

[Ed Gamble]

What flavor vape would you pair with the steak?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I imagine I'd go for something a bit more tart. Maybe a cherry if I'm feeling a bit adventurous.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Perhaps a banana ice. But that is a bit crazy. I know, I know.

[Ed Gamble]

Cherry and steak. I completely understand. That's nice. Yeah. It's like a red wine.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

And that's why you're intelligent.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

That's why you're smart and amazing.

[Ed Gamble]

And nicotine.

[James Acaster]

He is addicted.

[Ed Gamble]

So hard. Me too. It's nice, isn't it?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It's so great.

[Ed Gamble]

It's really nice.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, it's so Much fun. I don't care what anyone says. Everyone in this life has advice, Right? And it might be drugs, might not be, but it might also be nicotine. Might be working a lot. Might be watching Shrek over and over and over and over and over over again. So I think if it's nicotine, at.

[James Acaster]

Least not killing children.

[Ed Gamble]

Far too quick to say. Watching Shrek over and over and over again.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, I've never seen Shrek.

[James Acaster]

Right.

[Ed Gamble]

Is this like, you've never done drugs?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh.

[James Acaster]

Do you want to know some freebase trivia about Shrek that I learned recently? Yes. Yeah. The gingerbread man.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes.

[James Acaster]

Shrek. The person does the voice for that. When John Lithgow went in to film that scene, it was just a man put. Huh? Film record.

[Ed Gamble]

I got. I gotta break some bad news to you about Shrek, man.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, it's real. It's real. It's real. Yeah. When they went to film, when he.

[James Acaster]

Went in to record that scene, a member of the production team read the lines of the gingerbread man and they were so good at it that they just kept in that person. Oh, my God. It's not a voice actress. Someone who's working on.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Do they sound like that? Is that their real voice?

[James Acaster]

Yes, as they're normal.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Incredible.

[Ed Gamble]

Give us a quick blast of the gingerbread man.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Not my gumdrop buttons.

[Ed Gamble]

It's good, isn't it?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

That is very good.

[Ed Gamble]

Wait till you hear his Shrek.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I do want to hear Shrek.

[Ed Gamble]

Wait till you hear this.

[James Acaster]

Sharon, what do you want Shrek to be doing or saying? I want him to king butter or.

[Ed Gamble]

For cow's out of.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes, yes. Perfect.

[James Acaster]

Donkey, I thought it was you. I didn't know it was a cow. Donkey, I thought it was you. Donkey. I swear I would never do that. I would never ever. Donkey. I would never, ever lick bottom of anyone else apart from you.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you like that? Sharon looks gobsmacked.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'm so lost for words. There are so many questions surging through my head right now.

[Ed Gamble]

And the answer to the first one is it was supposed to be Shrek.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Vaguely Scottish man threatening to suck off a donkey.

[James Acaster]

It sounded like he's apologizing for not.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Sucking off the donkey again.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, the donkey's caught him licking butt off a cow's at him and isn't happy about it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Is it in secret. I like the lights off and then.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, okay. In his swamp house or wherever Shrek lives.

[Ed Gamble]

When we did a live tour, quite often I would force James to do a Shrek impression on stage and I'd get the audience to do, like, improv, suggest, where's Shrek? What's he doing? And what sort of mood is Shrek in? And I'd say eight out of nine times that we did it.

[James Acaster]

Nine out of nine.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Horny. They all said horny.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh.

[Ed Gamble]

So I've seen James be horny Shrek more often than I thought I would.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, that's brilliant. I think that's art.

[James Acaster]

I didn't like it.

[Ed Gamble]

You didn't enjoy it. Which made it obviously funnier that you didn't enjoy it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I think all artists suffering had to.

[James Acaster]

Yes. And it's. It knew that it was good for the gig to just do it, but didn't like it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

That's okay.

[James Acaster]

In his time and really resent it. And just think the audience we've got, is it these idiots. They know. They know I hate them.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, don't look shocked, Sharon.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

They love it.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. They love it.

[Ed Gamble]

They love that James hates them.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, my God. Kind of sadistic.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

BDSM relationship do you have with your audience?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. If BDSM stood for brilliant. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Burnt out quickly there.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I was really. It started off very quickly. I was like, yeah, okay.

[James Acaster]

What?

[Ed Gamble]

Sexy.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Brilliant.

[Ed Gamble]

It's coming up, mate. It'd be good if you planned in advance with this D. Douche.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, because you're not a douche. Deity. Elevate yourself. Oh, yeah, brilliant. Deity says. Says money. Money for all of you.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, that is what it is. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

But the daddy says money.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. There you go. We got there in the end. That was worth it, wasn't it?

[James Acaster]

Dream side dish.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Okay. I don't know if this is allowed. I don't know if this is in the rule book, but my dream dream side dish is, you know, when you go for a night out, you get up. I'm talking about up, like, kissing your cousin up. And then you go. You go.

[Ed Gamble]

Just gonna jump in now and say no. I don't know.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

We've all been there. Right, guys?

[James Acaster]

I know what you're about.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Thanks, James.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You're so supported by you. You go for a chippy and you get home, and you are just off your face, like, you fall asleep, kind of one tit hanging out of your short dress, chips in hand, lights on, one eyelash here, one eyelash on the wall. And then you wake up, like, an hour and a half later, and you.

[James Acaster]

Steven.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

But you're like, I didn't eat my chips. And they're kind of congealed and cold, and you can Taste the pigeon ankles. That I would have that as a side dish. They always slap.

[Ed Gamble]

James looks so sad.

[James Acaster]

Just sounds the most disgusting.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I thought this was a loving, supportive podcast.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Try to be weird. Weird that James supported you on kissing his cousin and backed out when it came to eating cold chips.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Too much, though, actually. You're taking.

[James Acaster]

My cousin said, would you care for some cold chips? Like, shut up and come on. I mean, it sounds bad, Shannon. It doesn't sound. You've not made him sound nice.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No. Because you have to be in that headspace. So it's not going to be nice when you're like, you've. I don't know, you're sober and you've just gone from picking strawberries or something wholesome. You have to be like, oh, I made some mistakes tonight, brother.

[Ed Gamble]

Like, starving, but still drunk.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes. Yeah. Yep. Yep. You've got one heel on and the other one and God knows where it is.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Who cares? Who cares at this point? Because you've got cold chips, you've got nuggets that taste a little bit like what you imagine pigeon would taste like. And you're happy in that moment. You're so happy and unaware of the world's problems and struggle. And it's just a beautiful moment. I think it's what it represents.

[James Acaster]

So how many nuggets you got in there?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I want to say, like, five and a half at this point. Because you've had a couple on the walk over.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You know, you've cat called some guys, made some really horrible, aggressive mistakes that night.

[James Acaster]

When you cat call some guys, what does that sound like? What are you shouting to them?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

See, now I feel like I have to say hum and a hum and a new.

[James Acaster]

Sure.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

But really, it'd be like, I like your ankles.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Call those earlobes. They have to be, like, slightly weird. Just. Huh. I want them to have a look at the surprise on their face.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I mean, I'm not, you know, I'm trying to define what a cat call is, but. Do you call those earlobes? Doesn't feel like a cat call.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, trust me, if you want the receiving end of that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You'd go home crying.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Probably back home for a bit.

[James Acaster]

So it's.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

This is what you heard at the.

[James Acaster]

Aim of cat call. It is to destroy someone.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Not destroy, but just make them think for the next couple years, like, what did that mean? They're falling asleep at night, they're almost there. And then they're like, earlobes. Earlobes Earlobes. Earlobes.

[James Acaster]

So I would say, and I don't want to like tread all over your brand of cat calling, but I think traditionally they're not thinkers. Cat calls. Oh, no, they're not. Like people go home and go, what did that build up?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, exactly.

[James Acaster]

Mean when they said nice tits.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Like it's aversive, pretty to the point.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

But you're, but you're saying the good. A good cat call makes you think, unravels someone.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It makes you go. That alliteration on line two was. That was intentional.

[Ed Gamble]

Mine too.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So you're hanging around for line two.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

This is a soliloquy, baby.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I got to see where this goes.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

This is Shakespearean. Look at Shakespearean. In these streets getting all these.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, it's impressive.

[Ed Gamble]

I quite like the idea of the cold chips. I love that you're gonna be in a certain state of mind when you eat the side dish, which is difficult because it's a side dish. So you'd be eating the main.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And then. So when you turn to the side dish, you suddenly feel a lot has.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Happened between the main and the side dish.

[Ed Gamble]

So you're eating the whole main first and then eating the side.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You're eating the whole main. It's really wholesome still in the restaurant at this point. And then someone goes, shall we, shall we fuck it? Should we go out? We're only young. Once you end up in a club that you've never heard of before. All the alcohol is non branded. You don't actually know what they're pouring you. It tastes kind of vaguely ethanol, but you're like, ah, this could be paint stripper.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You're off your face, you're grinded to dubstep. It doesn't make any sense. Why are you gyrating your hips? It doesn't make sense. But you're having a fucking great time. You think, you know what? I had my main, it's time for my side dish. You go back to the restaurant now in this inebriated state. You have, you, you have the chips, they're hot. When they get to you, obviously a lot more goes down. Go back to the club. Right, because we're making a meal of this.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Order more drinks. Suddenly you're in a smoking area with a guy who doesn't speak English, but you're having a full on conversation. It's beautiful. This is what the earth is about. This is we are the world. We are the. Do you know what I mean? It's Michael Jackson. Oh, my God, he's alive. You go back to the restaurant.

[Ed Gamble]

Michael Jackson's the guy. The guy in the smoking area.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

He's the guy in the smoking area.

[Ed Gamble]

But he can't speak.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

He doesn't speak any English at this point.

[James Acaster]

So he's come back to life, but he now can't speak English?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No. He's been living away for a long time, so it's completely. It doesn't exist in his head anymore. Right.

[Ed Gamble]

Does the cow come to the club?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Cow wouldn't come to the club. I think that'd be a bit much. That'd be stupid. Yeah, it'd be dumb. Yeah. Michael Jackson doesn't like cows, famously. So it just wouldn't make sense. Would.

[James Acaster]

Does sound. Ed, I'm gonna need you to find some positives here because it sounds like a wake in hell.

[Ed Gamble]

No, I think a lot of Sharon's menu is nostalgia and about moments in time.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Thank you.

[Ed Gamble]

And I think what the cold chips signify is they may taste great in that moment. They're obviously not a great tasting thing, but they represent, you know, you've had an amazing time and, you know, you're just there.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Enjoying it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It's okay. Not everyone, you know, not everyone's a genius in their time. I like to think after I pass away, people were like, oh, my God, remember Sharon on that. On that off the menu podcast?

[Ed Gamble]

And then they'll meet you in the smoking area of a club and go.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

And I won't speak anything.

[James Acaster]

Sharon's alive.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Acaster]

Comes alive and can't speak English.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

That Michael Jackson in the background.

[James Acaster]

What would you be talking to Michael Jackson about, do you think?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I imagine, because at this point, he owns a corner shop, right. Kind of somewhere in St. John's Wood, and he's kind of just moved back into the area and he's like, you know, it's been hard for me. Back in my country of origin, I was a doctor. I've had to come here and set up a new business that.

[Ed Gamble]

Sharon, this isn't Michael Jackson, mate. This is so. This is not Michael Jackson.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

This is Michael Jackson because you're throwing a he. I am pretty hammered in something called. And I don't know what it is, but it does taste like it might kill me. So it might know. But I like to think it is Michael Jackson. He's just kind of.

[James Acaster]

Is it a reincarnation?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, no, no. This is. This is.

[Ed Gamble]

He's not saying. He's not saying he's Michael Jackson.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

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[James Acaster]

That is a gamble money.

[Ed Gamble]

Expand your podcast okay.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

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[James Acaster]

Your dream drink.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I want the strawberry Ribena from Pre what's his face who made sugar evil?

[James Acaster]

You might feel that way. He was doing it for your own good. He was trying to make it healthier for you.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I want that at that stage of my life. I want it now.

[James Acaster]

I think it's great.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah, but no, you want to Pre Sugar Ribena.

[Ed Gamble]

You don't want it now because you're. You want to go back to the Ribena it was before.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You don't understand it now.

[Ed Gamble]

You understand it now.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. See, this is another nostalgic dish. This is. This is nostalgia for certain times of your life.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It's a crisp Ribena.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'm on a mudded bike and there's a boy I fancy two streets down. And I'm riding and I fall off and I scrape my knee. Ah. Ah. I go up to the boy. Hey, I scraped my knee.

[Ed Gamble]

This has got to be a clip because people have got to see Sharon's face when she's doing it.

[James Acaster]

I can't be on doing it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah, I. I've never ridden a bike before, could I?

[James Acaster]

The disgust on your faces is not.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Making me feel confident.

[Ed Gamble]

I just know I'm right. I think it's brilliant. But I'm also confused.

[James Acaster]

No, I'm not confused. I love. I'm like that.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Are you in the moment with me?

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, I don't have any plasters. That's okay. I might come back tomorrow. That's okay with you?

[James Acaster]

Welcome back.

[Ed Gamble]

Come back tomorrow with a scrape.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah. Because I'm eager.

[Ed Gamble]

No, but I thought you were coming back tomorrow for a plaster.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, I mean just to vibe. But in that moment, I'm embarrassed. I've just scraped my knee so you psych.

[James Acaster]

So. So let's recap. You're cycling on the street. You fall off the bike, scrape your knee. As a boy your age, two streets you can't fancy. But he's just, like, standing on the street. So he's just on the pavement.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

He's just chilling.

[James Acaster]

And you go up to him and say, I just scraped my knee.

[Ed Gamble]

In an American accent.

[James Acaster]

With the voice. With the voice. And he says, I don't have a plaster. You say, that's okay. I might come back tomorrow.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Is there anything wrong with that?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

So you didn't come back to the store.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'm embarrassed.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

The boy that I like has just seen me fall down on. Yeah, I'm nervous.

[Ed Gamble]

But I also like that you say, I've just scraped my knee. And his first thing he says is, I don't have any plasters, because he.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Wants to be helpful. But he acknowledges that in the moment, he can't help.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

And I like that he's emotionally sensitive, I think, in. In this version of the thing, and he's okay with me doing a voice.

[James Acaster]

I like the voice.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

See, I did it on a date the other day, and she never texted me back. I think I killed it.

[James Acaster]

What? What? In what country?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I was like. She was like, like, let's check in.

[James Acaster]

Uhhuh.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

How are you feeling about this date? And I was like, I like this date. You're very pretty. Should I have said that out loud? Oh, well. And then I thought.

[Ed Gamble]

It out.

[James Acaster]

Sharon, that's the worst thing I've ever heard anyone, anyone do on a first date. It's a first date. I mean, that's crazy.

[Ed Gamble]

You may as well have let butter off a cow's udder at that point.

[James Acaster]

Oh, my God.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

That would have been better.

[James Acaster]

I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't love. Let's check in. How's this day going? I don't love that either.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I kind of like it. It's very Gen Z with two women on a date. How are you feeling?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. So you quite like it. But then. Then what you did. So let's dispense with that. Oh, James and I are millennials. James and I are millennials. We don't like the checking. Okay. The check in is too much. The check ins should be unspoken.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

So you draw the line.

[James Acaster]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. So you like that.

[James Acaster]

Oh, my God.

[Ed Gamble]

But then why did you then do the infantilizing?

[James Acaster]

You became a little kid.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I thought it'd be funny if I.

[James Acaster]

Was on a date and someone said, how's the date going? I went.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Well, gee, I'm pretty good at guest man. I'd love that.

[Ed Gamble]

I hope I don't go toilet in my pants.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

That is not what I was doing. How. How dare you? I got butterflies in my stomach. I was being a big girl who watches way too much anime.

[Ed Gamble]

I gotta call my mommy and give her three rings.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, jeez. My heart's beating out of her chest. You're telling me you wouldn't like that.

[James Acaster]

But you said she was pretty in the voice. I love it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Funny.

[James Acaster]

It is funny. It's the best. I think it's hilarious.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Apparently not.

[Ed Gamble]

It's funny hearing about it now.

[James Acaster]

What was her face doing when you did it?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

So I wasn't looking at her while I was doing it. I went to laugh being like, oh, no, don't cover your face. You're making this so much worse than it is.

[Ed Gamble]

She's just absolutely puking everywhere.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

She was like, you even look pretty when you puke now. This is turned into bullying.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. So you weren't looking at her?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

You're looking down for the character of shy.

[James Acaster]

The character for the people just listen to. It always involves Sharon grabbing the back of her neck, like, nervously, like. Like. Like the kid in Stranger Things does when something's, like, creeping up. Yeah, he said something bad. So just, like, hand on the back of the neck and then looking down and then, like, vibrating and then making.

[Ed Gamble]

A noise which increasingly sounds like an Al Pacino impression.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Take it. Adding that to the list. Day number two. Thank you very much.

[Ed Gamble]

So she's not got back in contact.

[James Acaster]

When was it?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I want to say like three weeks ago now.

[James Acaster]

Oh, okay.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah, yeah. No, that's dead in the water. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. I've cried my tears. Well, I guess you don't like me that much.

[James Acaster]

I love the character.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, the character's great.

[James Acaster]

I really like the character.

[Ed Gamble]

Really good. Very Rugrats I'd watch. Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Really Rugrats, actually.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Thanks.

[James Acaster]

That's a millennial film.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, my God. I know.

[James Acaster]

What rock.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

How old do you think I am?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, you've proudly proclaimed yourself Gen Z, so.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes, and I wear that with a badge of skibidi honor, thank you very much.

[James Acaster]

What's Gen Z? 20s? In your 20s?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, 20s. Yeah. But early, early 20s.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'll take it.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'm actually 16. This is illegal, what you guys are doing.

[Ed Gamble]

We've had a 15. 15 year old on this podcast before.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

No, you haven't.

[Ed Gamble]

We have. From Stranger Things.

[James Acaster]

Oh, yeah, the kid who does that, actually.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it's the kid who does that.

[James Acaster]

Very kid who does that. When you have 15, you've always. You do that. You. You're in the stranger things.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'm 15 in this.

[Ed Gamble]

In this you are when you're acting.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'm a grown man.

[James Acaster]

You were on that date. I'll tell you that.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You weren't there. You don't know the facts.

[James Acaster]

We arrive at your dream dessert.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yes. I kind of like. I feel like this is a recent food trend. I like. I like the desserts that look like food, but they're cold. Like. Like the ice cream. Chicken ice cream, fried chicken. Or like a sweet past. Spaghetti bolognese.

[Ed Gamble]

I know what you mean. It's very sort of an online thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Gonna die at 50.

[Ed Gamble]

It's kind of cool, though.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I think it's.

[Ed Gamble]

The spaghetti's cool.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

So cool.

[Ed Gamble]

Just like the spaghetti. Like strands of ice cream, basically. Yeah. It looks like.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

It looks like you guys are tricking me. I'm like, huh, what's this? This should be savory, not sweet. And then it is sweet and it's delicious. And you're like, yes. You guys got me again.

[Ed Gamble]

I know. James wants to ask about this character now as well.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

This is not character. This is who I am.

[James Acaster]

Oh, fair enough. Nice to meet you. It was quite similar to the same. Quite similar to the date character. Yeah, yeah, a bit like that. Kind of same person but in a different environment.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah. This one is a child.

[James Acaster]

Where they've been kind of trick.

[Ed Gamble]

This one is.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

They do brownies.

[Ed Gamble]

What the heck?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

What the heck? Do you guys just swear? You're not supposed to do that. I think I'm gonna have to tell my mom.

[James Acaster]

Sorry, but do the. Do the American voice.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. It is quite similar to the other characters.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, Very similar voice. Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I think I just really enjoy the way that people.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is good.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Why am I single?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, I know what you mean. Like that food. I remember when I was a kid when first saw one of those, like, you know, foam burgers, those little sweets. I was so excited to eat it. Oh, Like, I couldn't wait to eat one of those, like, with all the different layers with the gummy, like, lettuce, tomato, tomato. The burger. The burger itself, actually, probably the least appealing part, agreed.

[Ed Gamble]

Of the sweet burger doesn't lend itself well to the gummy.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

We could do without it. It could. Could be a sandwich.

[James Acaster]

Could be a sandwich.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Could be a sandwich. Were you like, is this gonna taste like burger or Were you like, oh, no, this is sweets.

[James Acaster]

I think I definitely thought, like, this is gonna taste like fruity sweets. But the burger part of it did make me. I go, I don't know what. That's good.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

What is that meant to be?

[James Acaster]

Yeah, like, the rest of it, even the bun looked quite sweet and foamy and nice. But the actual burger itself, I was like, I don't like. Hopefully that's like a cola thing or something.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I don't either.

[Ed Gamble]

What's the name of the company that made those? Like. Like the ones that you see everywhere? Because it's, like, right at the front of my brain and I just need to scratch that itch.

[James Acaster]

Otherwise.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Amazon.

[James Acaster]

Gummy zone.

[Ed Gamble]

No, it's not Gummy zone.

[James Acaster]

No, it's not Gummy zone. He's angry about that, so you've wasted his time.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Gummy zone.

[James Acaster]

Benito's gonna. He's getting ready to tell you you should quit comedy.

[Ed Gamble]

It's normally after. You don't normally do that during tell.

[James Acaster]

He's gonna say it.

[Ed Gamble]

The fact it's coming at the end of the meal, does that ruin the trip?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Like, no, because I think the way I would. The way I would approach this is. That's dessert number one. Because I'm tricking my brain into thinking, oh, like, I'm still eating savory food, so there's more space for it. Because I feel like your brain does this thing where you're like, oh, I'm quite full, actually, from the meal, but I still want dessert. You're like, let me just do the dessert, and then I'll. I'll have. I'll be in a food coma after. If you get dessert number one and it looks like savory food, your mind is like, oh, this is more food. Okay, we can create space for this, and then we can have dessert after. Haha. Silly brain. I've already had dessert. I'm only. I'm only gonna go and do it again, but this time you'll actually see what the dessert is. So it's more of like a mental, psychological. I feel like the CIA might have kind of.

[Ed Gamble]

James, did you follow that in any way whatsoever?

[James Acaster]

I just. I just find it very funny. Silly brain is what made me.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I was really. I loved silly brain that you've also eaten it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And you've tasted it and you're silly, but your silly brain still thinks it's savory.

[James Acaster]

I'm not a silly brain.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

This is. This is a spag bowl, but it tastes sweet. I wonder what that's about. Let me just keep eating. I guess I'll get dessert after.

[Ed Gamble]

The character sneaking back in there. I think every time something with the finger comes, you go.

[James Acaster]

If you're honest, the character is 100% at the wheel. Now it's completely behind the wheel. But you're just resisting doing the voice because you want to disguise it as yourself. But you know, really, it's the. I guess this is maybe an ice cream of some description.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Can we do the rest of it like this?

[James Acaster]

You can. You. You get it. The best thing. All I can think about is you want that date doing that.

[Ed Gamble]

You're. You're very. I can. All I can think of is you're very. You're very pretty. Looking at the floor.

[James Acaster]

Very pretty. But no. So you weren't saying you're very pretty. Is that you went, she sure is pretty. Or something you have to do like an assignment. You said it about her and then you were doing. So you're doing like a golem kind of thing of like, she's sure it's pretty. Did I just say that out loud? Oh, no. And I. It's. I. I love it so much. It's so great.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I think it's a normal and fun and whimsical thing to do on a date. And if you guys disagree with that, that is absolutely.

[Ed Gamble]

There's at least three people who disagree with it. Me, James, and her.

[James Acaster]

Yeah, but she doesn't deserve you.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

That was fresh. If you said that in two months, I'd have been like, haha. But actually, that could have been my future wife. So that does sting.

[Ed Gamble]

No, it couldn't.

[James Acaster]

No.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

But only because she wasn't down to clown.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, exactly. You need someone who's down to clown.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I need someone to give it back.

[James Acaster]

You'll find someone who does like that kind of stuff and it'll be great.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Great.

[James Acaster]

I know that'll be. And that'll be it for. And I'm a big supporter of people just going, I'm just gonna out the gate. Be exactly who I am.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You have to. Why go on a date?

[James Acaster]

Don't waste any time.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Did you want me to be like, yes, this meal is actually quite exquisite. I. I really enjoy the bed.

[Ed Gamble]

I absolutely think you would do that as well.

[James Acaster]

Same problem.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Because I'm being a fancy lady. So she's like, oh, this has not.

[Ed Gamble]

Shown up as a fancy lady, though. You're just suddenly halfway through the meal turning into something else.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I'd have to start off like that.

[James Acaster]

Yes.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

But if that's not what she wants. She wants me, and then she also wants the part of me that does find her pretty. You want the whole smorgasbord. It's boring of.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I think, you know, I think it's best off out of this.

[James Acaster]

I don't think it's the fact.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't think she's right.

[James Acaster]

I'm sorry that I've brought us back here because I can't stop thinking about it. But, like, I don't think it's the fact that you said she was pretty. I think if you went. That's going really well, actually. And I think you're really beautiful. Nah, I don't think she would go. Not replying to this. I think it's the fact that you went in the character. I think it was the cat.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Really?

[James Acaster]

Yeah. I like.

[Ed Gamble]

I get it.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Thank you.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I think, like, yeah, you will find someone who loves that character.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And then it would be great.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Thank you. That's very nice. And we'll just have, like, a little.

[Ed Gamble]

I think next time, turn up as the character from the get. Go scrape your knee outside.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, my God. So you do marketing, huh?

[James Acaster]

I want that character to get a sitcom immediately. If there are any commissioners listening to this.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Just please give Sharon a sitcom where that is the character, but the character.

[Ed Gamble]

Has to live in just modern Britain, though.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

The character can't. Can't live in, like, 50s America. Clearly where they're from.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

My oyster card isn't working. They're just doing really mundane every day. Can I have a stamp, please? I wonder if he knows what I'm sending. No, we have to get away from this.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay. We are at the end of the episode, pretty much.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

We've not got away from it successfully.

[James Acaster]

So what is the food? You want a spaghetti bolognese ice cream. Ice cream.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I want the fried chicken ice cream. I want it to come in a bucket. I want to house it, and then I want to have finish it off with just a classic brownie.

[James Acaster]

Oh, hold on. So there's a brownie in there as.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Well as in, like. That's dessert number two.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Because you tricky brains.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Tricky, silly, silly brain. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

What flavor is the ice cream? The actual fried chicken?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Classic vanilla. Let's not get too crazy with it.

[James Acaster]

You know, does it have a little, like, fake drumstick that you can pick them up?

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You can literally pick them up and then bite into ice cream, which is a little bit inbred, but. But it's fun. Am I allowed to say that?

[Ed Gamble]

I don't know.

[James Acaster]

I Don't know. I've never heard anyone use it in that way before.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I use it very lightly. It's actually honestly becoming a problem.

[Ed Gamble]

You know who else is in bread? Maria's dad.

[James Acaster]

What?

[Ed Gamble]

He's in bread.

[James Acaster]

Oh, he's in bread. Yeah. I thought you were going to say shaman because she was kissing her cousin earlier.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

I want to set the record very straight. I have never and will never kiss my cousin.

[Ed Gamble]

No, I think what you were saying is when you get so drunk but you could kiss yourself.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Fly out the window. Yes. You see eye to eye.

[Ed Gamble]

You didn't say yes.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You're just kissing your cousin. James, it sounds like you're just making on the rag. Yeah, well, she's very pretty. Are we right?

[James Acaster]

I think this is frowned upon.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Your mom's my dad's brother, Right? No, this is bad. This is bad. Naughty. No more of this. I don't want that to be my legacy.

[James Acaster]

I'm gonna read your menu back to you now and see how you.

[Ed Gamble]

Will you be reading it back as yourself? James, you want sparkling water.

[James Acaster]

Pop it on some bread. You want soft, creamy butter smeared on Penelope's udder with some bad bread on the side.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Perfect.

[James Acaster]

Because if you don't have the bad bread, you can't have your starter, which is good bread bruschetta made by an old Italian man whose son is not doing very good at uni. Main course, your mum's cooking from 2007. With a watermelon elf bar.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

As well, which you will have after. Side dish, congealed chips and five and a half nuggets from the night before.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Amazing.

[James Acaster]

Drink a strawberry Riberina full of sugar.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Yep.

[James Acaster]

And dessert? Fried chicken ice cream with a brownie.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Perfect. I think that is the menu.

[James Acaster]

I would eat the dessert and the main course. Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

In 2007 for sure.

[James Acaster]

Brushette is nice.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, Brushette is good.

[James Acaster]

Of course. Actually, to be honest, you'd eat all the reading about. I don't. I wouldn't want the chips. They do sound revolted.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Wake up in the dead of night and you just have chips next to you and you're like, not for men.

[Ed Gamble]

Not for many years. But I would just go more disgusting and have cheesy chips that we could.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

You beautiful man.

[Ed Gamble]

With garlic sauce on the top.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Oh, filthy.

[James Acaster]

Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Absolutely.

[Ed Gamble]

I've done that.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Filthy.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

That sounds incredible.

[Ed Gamble]

It reminds me of just being at university. Dad's baking some good bread.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Obviously you're not doing very well.

[Ed Gamble]

I wake up, chips are on my chest. Keep going.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Good.

[Ed Gamble]

There's a football sock on the smoke alarm.

[James Acaster]

Ed's dad is Pan Quittidian or whatever it's called.

[Sharon Wanjohi]

Really?

[Ed Gamble]

No, he's Andrew Gammon. Sharon, thank you very much for coming to the dream restaurant. You've been fantastic. Thank you. Oh, no, I don't like that one. Well, there we are. James. Oh, man, what a wild ride with Sharon.

[James Acaster]

We've had a few people do characters on this podcast, but that might be my favorite of all time.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, very. I mean, at the best of episodes, towards the end of the year, there's normally a little section that Benito puts together of characters that people have done.

[James Acaster]

Yep.

[Ed Gamble]

That'll definitely be in there.

[James Acaster]

That's gonna have its own section.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I don't want any. Any part of that on the cutting room floor. When it comes to the best stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I would watch that character for hours.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Very funny to be in the presence of that character.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

Every time Sharon became that character, it's like everything. Her whole physicality changed and mannerisms. Really, really good. The hand on the back of the neck, man. The whole thing.

[Ed Gamble]

Thing. Also, Sharon did not say anything. As long as it's good.

[James Acaster]

Yeah. It didn't say that.

[Ed Gamble]

No. Because she turned up with notes. She had notes.

[James Acaster]

She listened to the podcast before.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

And we appreciate that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, absolutely. So do go and see Sharon at the Edinburgh Festival at the Pleasants.

[James Acaster]

Yes. Or just if you're not going to the Edinburgh Festival, go and see Sharon at a gig near you.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[James Acaster]

I'm sure you find out where she's.

[Ed Gamble]

Doing lots of gigs, follow her on social media, do all that jazz.

[James Acaster]

Absolutely.

[Ed Gamble]

And go and see her. But for now, we will see you. But for now, we will see you next week.

[James Acaster]

But for now, we will see you next week.

[Ed Gamble]

Doesn't make sense, does it?

[James Acaster]

You should quit comedy.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no deal.