Will Arnett

Summary

Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster

Episode: Will Arnett
Release Date: January 21, 2026
Main Theme:
Comedians Ed Gamble and James Acaster welcome actor-comedian Will Arnett into their “dream restaurant” to chart his ultimate fantasy meal. Delving into foodie favorites, memorable career anecdotes, classic Off Menu riffs, and a hearty dollop of Will’s trademark humor, this episode both honors Arnett’s illustrious career in comedy and explores the culinary choices that define his perfect menu.

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Episode Overview

Will Arnett, affectionately dubbed “international treasure,” joins the Off Menu table for the season 15 premiere and the inaugural YouTube-filmed episode in the new studio. The chat brims with warmth, wit, and comic self-awareness as Will shares a meal inspired by classic dishes, discusses his new Bradley Cooper-directed film “Is This Thing On?” (inspired by UK comic John Bishop), and banters about everything from food pet peeves to career highlights.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Welcoming Will / New Beginnings

• The hosts banter about opinions, their own comedic careers, and the nature of their podcast (00:13–06:03).
• Will enters with a nod to producer Ben’s professionalism, admitting to feeling a bit confused, hungry, and slightly jet-lagged (06:16–10:26).

“He operates with excellence. And professionalism. He was like, you guys want to dick around? I need to take care of the clap.” – Will Arnett, 06:25

2. Will’s New Film: “Is This Thing On?”

• Discussion of the film’s inspiration by John Bishop’s life—a stand-up whose marital strife leads him to comedy—and the involvement of Bradley Cooper, Laura Dern, and others (03:40–15:02).
• Will recounts meeting John Bishop in Amsterdam, the spark for the film’s idea, and the collaborative writing with Mark Chappell and eventually Bradley Cooper (12:52).

“We brought Bradley... and he said, great, Can I come in? And what you guys have written is shit. Do you mind if I write a good script?” – Will Arnett, 13:55 (tongue-in-cheek)

3. On Accents and “Going Full Bish”

• Will discusses whether he attempted a Liverpool (“Scouse”) accent, ultimately steering clear to avoid “Full Monty” mimicry and respecting the source material’s roots (14:21–15:29).

“I don’t think I have the guts to go full Bish.” – Will Arnett, 14:31

4. Podcast and Studio Banter

• Discussion of the discomfort (and comedic opportunities) with filming podcast episodes for YouTube (05:05–06:03).

5. Manifestation, Meals, and Anecdotes

• Will admits he skipped a meal in anticipation for the show, planning to eat as close to his wish list as possible after recording: “You have to put out into the world what you want and then it will come into your experience.” (08:54)
• Tangents include humorous asides about Lamborghinis, touristy boat rides in London, and public humiliation (10:01–11:39).

6. Dream Menu Selections

Sparkling or Still?

• Will unequivocally chooses “sparkling,” with Ed and James justifying their predictions based on Will’s on-screen persona (17:10–18:16).

“I imagine you sitting on a piazza in Rome, maybe sipping a sparkling.” – Ed Gamble, 18:10

Bread

• Warm bread only, ideally a pretzel roll reminiscent of New York’s Strip House steak restaurant. Emphasis on soft butter and an aversion to “dry toast” (27:34–30:55).

“When you open the restaurant before customers get there, take the butter out of the fridge. What are we doing?” – Will Arnett, 28:13

Starter

• Foie gras on toast points or sourdough, with fig jam; classic, elegant, and unapologetically rich (31:54–33:42).

“When you find a good restaurant that makes a fantastic foie gras, man, stick with it. That’s the bee’s knees.” – Will Arnett, 33:33

Main Course

• A classic thick-cut, bone-in, dry-aged ribeye steak, Pittsburgh-style, with au poivre (peppercorn) sauce on the side (35:36–37:45).
• Sides: golden brown French fries (“not shoestring!”), creamy horseradish (upon request), perfectly buttered green beans, and classic creamed corn. Mayonnaise is allowed for dipping fries (41:27–45:31).

“A really well made pretzel roll... You’re gonna want to button up your socks because it might blow them off.” – Will Arnett, 30:03
“You start enjoying this delicious steak, the juices start to run... and it creates this soggy base of fry that you’re then able to put your fork in.” – Will Arnett, 42:00

Drink

• Sparkling water (primary), but also the option for an “American champagne” (Diet Coke) or, on rare occasion, a really good Swiss non-alcoholic beer (52:57–53:43).

“A waiter at a French restaurant said to me once... ‘Ah, American champagne.’ In like, the shittiest voice, I swear to God.” – Will Arnett, 53:10

Dessert

• After a comedic guessing game, Will names Baked Alaska (with chocolate ice cream center), served flaming, as his dream dessert (61:41–65:23).

“Baked Alaska... comes out flaming... if it’s on the menu, I’ve got to order it.” – Will Arnett, 65:42

7. Food Pet Peeves

• A strong denunciation of shoestring fries (“nobody likes them, people are lying to you!”), pre-packaged cold butter, and prison-worthy dry toast (71:19–73:14; 55:40–56:20).

8. Career & Life Stories

• Will shares starstruck moments: meeting hockey hero Wendell Clark, and the thrill of Richard E. Grant attending his film screening (20:21–21:58).
• Reminiscences about being in Ratatouille, BoJack Horseman, various improv on film sets, and mustache/food-related running gags across his films—embedding “mustard and parmesan” as Easter eggs (25:34–26:09).
• Anecdotes from Arrested Development—on-set laughter, Tony Hale’s character Buster, and the camaraderie among the cast (58:16–58:59).
• Thoughts on acting, podcasting, and being gaslit by comments: “Sometimes you read stuff online and I agree with them. People go, ‘I hate Will when he does that.’ I go, ‘I hate Will when he does that, too.’” (25:10–25:21)

9. Secret Ingredient

• The secret ingredient (if named, guest gets “kicked out”): Club sauce, an Arrested Development in-joke. Will guesses it instantly (59:20–59:56).

“It might be something with club sauce.” – Will Arnett, 59:50

10. Random Gems & Memorable Moments

• “Are we civilized or not?”—on pre-buttered toast (28:42).
• “If you take a picture with an iPad, straight to jail.” (55:40)
• Extended riffs on English restaurants, John Bishop at the Oscars, and Will’s pet grudge against “shoestring fries” (73:03–75:23).
• Visual jokes (“If you’re listening to this, you got to watch it. Just the winks alone.” – 64:01)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Secret Ingredient:
  “It might be something with club sauce.” – Will Arnett (59:50)

• On Classic Food:
  “Classic never goes out of style.” – Will Arnett (31:39; returns multiple times)

• On Lamborghinis & Manifestation:
  “He must have. His self esteem is low enough that he bought a Lamborghini. And then he got humiliated.” – Will Arnett (11:28)

• On Food Righteousness:
  “If you serve me what they call shoestring fries – we have a problem... Everybody hates shoestring fries. And they’re not telling you the truth because either you’re a dick or they think you can’t handle the truth.” – Will Arnett (72:03)

• On Filming the Podcast:
  “We’re going to look like absolute... I look like an Easter Island head.” – Ed Gamble (05:20)

• On Career Surreal Moments:
  “To think that what 17-year old me would have thought when I saw [Withnail & I], that he (Richard E. Grant) came to a screening of our film, blew me away.” – Will Arnett (20:21)

• On Prison:
  "If you take a picture with an iPad, straight to jail. You're in prison with dry bread." – Will Arnett (55:40)

• On Poutine and Menu Trolling (re: David Cross):
  “He chose poutine as his starter. And then he chose poutine as his dessert...” – James Acaster (74:56)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Topic | Timestamp (MM:SS) | |-------------------------------------------------|--------------------| | Ed and James banter/podcast intro | 00:13–06:03 | | Will Arnett enters, Ben praise/comic confusion | 06:16–10:26 | | “Is This Thing On?” film/John Bishop discussion | 11:50–15:02 | | Bread and butter: pretzel roll, warm only | 27:34–30:55 | | Starter: Foie gras & fig jam | 31:54–33:42 | | Main: Pittsburgh ribeye, fries, horseradish | 35:36–45:31 | | Drink: Sparkling, Diet Coke, non-alc beer | 52:57–53:43 | | Dessert guessing game / Baked Alaska reveal | 61:41–65:23 | | Food pet peeves: shoestring fries rant | 71:19–73:14 | | Secret ingredient: Club sauce, Will guesses it | 59:20–59:56 | | Career stories/Ratatouille/BoJack/Klopff | ~20:21–22:33, etc. | | Favorite dogs and sharing the steak bone | 48:19–49:17 |

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Overall Tone & Style

The episode is marked by quintessential Off Menu informality and spontaneity, flavored with Will Arnett’s self-effacing charm, barbed wit, and passionate opinions about food and comedy. The hosts riff freely on absurdity and seriousness alike, letting Will’s stories and comic timing shape the pace. Tons of laughter, a little friendly roasting, and a recurring mock gravitas about the importance of bread, fries, and criminally overhyped menu items sustain a buoyant, richly entertaining hour-plus.

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Closing

Will’s “dream meal” is a tribute to unfussy culinary classics—warm pretzel bread with soft butter, foie gras, a perfectly cooked bone-in ribeye with all the decadent sides, capped with a spectacular Baked Alaska. Along the way, listeners get a feast of anecdotes, punchy opinions, and the singular pleasure of seeing a comic icon—on both sides of the Atlantic—relish the company of two food- and fun-obsessed Brits.

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For references and the full menu, re-listen to highlights at:

• Will’s bread rules (27:34–30:55)
• Steak/fry euphoria + sides discussion (41:27–45:31)
• Dessert guessing game & baked Alaska lore (61:41–65:23)
• The secret ingredient reveal (59:20–59:56)
• Shoestring fries polemic (71:19–73:14)

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“You have to put out into the world what you want and then it will come into your experience ... For me, it’s just about really keeping that idea alive. Billion dollars.”
― Will Arnett (08:54)

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to the Off Menu podcast. Taking the crepes of conversation, adding the sugar of friendship, and squeezing over the lemon juice of humor.

[B]

James, a traditional.

[A]

Yeah. Trad. Crep or pancake? We should say pancake.

[B]

That is a gamble. My name is James A Castle. Together we own a dream restaurant, and every single week we invite in a guest and ask them if they've ever start a main course, dessert side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week, our guest is Will Arnett.

[A]

Will Arnett, international treasure. James.

[B]

Absolute comedy royalty, in my opinion. Very excited. And mine. Yes. Yes. Sorry, I didn't want to speak on your behalf.

[A]

No. But I think we're on the podcast together. We have a shared opinion. Everything we say is our opinion.

[B]

Okay, that's. That's interesting. That's an interesting new spin on it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

As we move forward at the same opinions. Yes. Okay.

[A]

Not Bonito's, though.

[B]

No, we don't. We don't share Benito. Oh, dear God.

[A]

The spiciest of opinions, that guy.

[B]

Imagine if we share Bonito's opinions. That'd be bad. I Mean, Arrested Development, BoJack, Horseman, Blades of Glory, the list goes on. He's done so many amazing things. And most recently, Rock 30 Rock, of course. Ed, specialist subject on Mastermind. Nothing gets past this guy because we have the same opinions, we have the same knowledge as well. Does that mean I did better on Mastermind now?

[A]

You did pretty well anyway, didn't you?

[B]

I was second from bottom.

[A]

I was joined second, so. So was I, technically, with the same. With the same brothers.

[B]

Is this Thing on is Will's new film.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Which is causing quite the stir here in the uk, because the inspiration for it is the life of our comedian, John Bishop.

[A]

Our comedian.

[B]

He's ours.

[A]

Yeah. I thought you were going into sort of Liverpudlian slang there.

[B]

Oh, I like our comedian. Our kid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I should have done that, actually. Apologies to Liverpool that I didn't see that trick. Although, isn't it more Manchester Midlands? No, that's where I'm from. Benito, Benito, your opinions are not our opinions. So whatever you say is wrong.

[A]

Maybe I'm wrong. Well, I apologize to the people of Liverpool, but I will not apologise for saying that. Is this Thing on is loosely based on John Bishop's story.

[B]

Yes. Which is very exciting. It's a man who. His marriage is in trouble.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he starts doing standup comedy. And you see how that affects his relationship with not just his wife, everyone in his life and with himself.

[A]

Opposite of my life.

[B]

You just did comedy and then got married?

[A]

Yeah, I did comedy, got married and now my comedy's in trouble.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's really. I mean, the listeners didn't know that, but yeah.

[A]

Hot news, hot news.

[B]

Ed's comedy's in trouble.

[A]

My coyotes in trouble. And when Will's in, I'll be asking if he wants to make another film.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Based on a happy stand up comedian who then goes into a happy marriage and his comedy's in trouble.

[B]

Yeah. What would you call it?

[A]

Is this thing on?

[B]

You go and see that. Friday 30th January, it starts in cinemas.

[A]

That's across the UK. If you listen in the UK, Bradley Cooper's directed it. James Will Arnett's in it. It's based on the life of John Bish. Laura Dern's in it.

[B]

I hope John Bishop gets invited to the Oscars because Kieran Hines is in it. Bradley Cooper's got a good track.

[A]

Chloe Radcliffe's in it. Our friend.

[B]

Chloe Radcliffe, our friend. Shout out to Radcliffe. But will Bish go to the Oscars?

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[B]

That's what the whole country's thinking. Our comedian, John Bishop, will he end up on the red carpet. Carpet at the Oscars.

[A]

Well, that's a shame, isn't it? Because there's the red carpet for the stars and then there's a bit that. There's just a red carpet.

[B]

It's very carb it. He has to eat spaghetti and bread and all sorts. They make you eat loads of carbs.

[A]

I thought it was a bit where there's just a car. He's in the car park. The red carpet.

[B]

Yeah, he's in the car park. John Bishop. Yeah. Johnny Bish.

[A]

We've not had Bish on.

[B]

We've got to get Bish on. Now that we've had Will on.

[A]

I can't believe we've not had Bish on our comedian. Yeah, but we've had Will Arnett on, who's playing a John Bish style character.

[B]

He's someone else's comedian. Will Arnett and actor.

[A]

Look, we should. People will be excited about this episode and we're banging on.

[B]

Yeah, sorry, guys, we're getting in the way.

[A]

Secret ingredient.

[B]

Secret ingredient is club sauce. Because. Interested development. He is reading the menu to his mother, Lucille and everything is with club sauce. And he really delivers it in such a hilarious way. It's a great, great moment in a classic comedy show. So club sauce is the secret ingredient.

[A]

We hope he doesn't say it.

[B]

We really hope he doesn't say it like a Batman. Oh, fuck. We gotta talk about Lego Batman.

[A]

It's the first episode of series 15, James.

[B]

Holy smokes. And not for nothing, it's our first episode in a new studio, even if some episodes have already gone out.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

With us being in the studio. This is our first one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So big start to series 15 and this studio, of course, looks the way it does because it's gonna be on YouTube. These full episodes are gonna be on YouTube. Ben wants it to look as nice as possible. Naturally. I mean, I hate it.

[A]

Yeah. James hates it. I mean, I don't know. I don't like having to film them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel all watched up and.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Awful. Constantly worried there's a camera on me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not like we have makeup or anything, so I'll probably look washed out

[B]

and we're gonna look like absolute.

[A]

And like, also I'm not well today and I'm tired. I didn't sleep well, so I look like a Easter island head. So enjoy that.

[B]

He looked. He looks beautiful. I know that won't surprise anyone, but I feel.

[A]

I feel awful.

[B]

It feels awful. So, like, if you want to see us both feeling awful and like, out the YouTube, just like absolutely hating the fact that Ben's made us film the episodes now go on YouTube and you can see just how much we're, I guess, hopefully not hating our lives. I think we'll be quite excited to speak to Will.

[A]

Oh, so excited.

[B]

But yeah, we won't be happy that it's being filmed.

[A]

Yes. But watch it on YouTube tomorrow.

[B]

Yeah, watch on YouTube tomorrow. You got to make sure you do

[A]

that or just put it on and just walk out of the room.

[B]

Yeah. Either way.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Works for us.

[A]

This is the off menu menu of Will Arnett. Welcome, Will, to the Dream Restaurant.

[C]

Can I just say.

[A]

You may.

[C]

Can we just comment on Ben for a second?

[A]

We should. Yeah.

[B]

Welcome Will Arnett to the Dream Vest. I've been expecting you for some time. Please comment on Ben.

[C]

Well, he's just. He operates with excellence.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And professionalism. He was like, you guys want to dick around? I need to take care of the clap.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I'm happy to entertain all your bs, but I'm going to do what I need to do.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Professional.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I feel like I stepped in his way. Yeah.

[A]

And he's like that socially. He's like that socially as well, Will. Like, when we have time off, maybe we'll go for a meal.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The professionalism never stops. What I'm saying is he's. He's not a good hang.

[C]

Yeah. Okay. Wow.

[B]

Very serious, by the way, by the

[C]

look on his face. News to him.

[B]

Not news to him. Receiving this over and over again from us. It was for the listener. Will said, are we recording? And Ben's response was. We can be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

With a hint of sass to it.

[C]

There was a hint of sass. There was a little bit.

[A]

And I.

[C]

It's funny. I. I don't think I've ever had that response. And I found it to be refreshing.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And simultaneously quite insolent.

[A]

Yes. He's an insolent little lad.

[C]

So I. Anyway, the point is, I'm beginning this whole experience quite confused about how I. How I feel.

[A]

Well, all of our North American guests are normally quite confused by the whole podcast. Yeah. To be honest.

[C]

But the concept of a podcast or just this one?

[A]

Not the concept of the podcast, but yeah, certainly. I mean, James is sometimes quite a confusing guy. I have to translate for quite a lot of.

[B]

Is that right? Usually. But I love that Ben's the one this time. It's really. It's. For me, it's refreshing. This isn't just refreshing for you, Will. This is.

[C]

I'm not. I'm not really confused. And please don't let me. Together with all the North American guests you've had on, because most of them are dullards. I will say, not true. But also. Yeah. And thank you for winking. Crazy that you winked and agreed with me.

[A]

Yeah, I know.

[C]

I mean, what an. What an affront to all your former North American. But I will say so. I. You know, I. What I thought was, when they told me that I was going to do this, I thought erroneously that we were going to enjoy the meal. And I'm not the first, obviously, who thought that.

[A]

Yeah, a few people have thought that.

[C]

So I skipped. Oh, no, I skipped a meal, so I'm famished.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's the worst way to do this podcast is hungry. Because we're going to be talking about the food, and there's going to be some stomach gurgles on. On Mike.

[C]

Yeah. But I am going to eat afterwards.

[A]

Yeah, no, you should.

[C]

I'm going to have. And I'm going to get as close as I can to this meal that we're going to talk about. My.

[A]

Oh, that's good.

[B]

Yeah, that is good. I don't think anyone's done that yet.

[C]

Is that true?

[B]

People obviously do go and, like, have eat after the podcast, but no one goes. I'm going to Try and replicate it as close as possible. This is great.

[C]

Well, the question is, is are these are people who clearly don't know how to manifest. Yeah. You know, you have to put out into the world what you want and then it will come into your experience. And that is my belief. Billion dollars. And for me it's just about really keeping that idea alive. Billion dollars. You know what I mean? I guess I've always just. Billion dollars. Believed that.

[A]

But were you going to start with the mail afterwards and then race boats?

[C]

I think that I. Race boat. I don't even know what that means.

[A]

You sound like a 12 year old boy now.

[C]

And I'd like to have an era boat and a new jumper.

[A]

I see what? I see a race boat. I'm imagining one of the like the really slim race boats.

[C]

Three guys.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and it's bouncing.

[C]

Three guys operate a boat. Like, I mean, I guess one's navigating.

[B]

Uhhuh.

[A]

One's having a really good time.

[C]

One's just there for enjoyment.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Or maybe DJing. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You can go on a race boat on the Thames and when you go right past like where the MI5 building used to be, they play the James Bond theme tune.

[C]

Is that true?

[B]

They play it very loud.

[C]

Can you take a race boat on the Thames?

[A]

Well, someone else has to drive it, but as a passenger thing. Yeah, it's a pretty fast.

[C]

Oh, it's like a touristy thing.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And they go quite slow for a bit and then they go. It's not until we can get to this point that I can really crank it up. And then they get to that point. Crank it up. James BOND theme. Really loud.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then they go crazy.

[C]

And they go crazy every day and

[B]

it's the boats just slapping the water. I couldn't stop laughing.

[C]

It's pretty funny. One of my. One of the hardest laughs I had that I've ever had and I've had a few in my life, we all have was I was walking in Notting Hill on a. On a Sunday, like on the Portobello Road years ago, and it was tons of people out. It was like a. Yeah, it was like a Saturday or Sunday. It was just tons of people walking. And some of those streets as you're going down, you know, down into really the heart of Portobello Road. The cross streets, the streets are quite. It's not that long between lights and there's a guy in like an orange Lambo. Right. Like an orange sherbet Lambo. And he's at the light, tons of people waiting. And the light turns green for him. And he cranks. He's got the top down and he's got the shades and he goes about 20 yards before he hits a run and stops. And everybody, all the crowd just collectively burst out laughing at this guy. And it must have been so humiliating. I mean, he must have. His self esteem is low enough that he bought a Lamborghini.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then he got humiliated.

[A]

Yeah. And the tops down.

[C]

Yeah, and the tops down.

[A]

So he could.

[C]

So he could hear it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, it was. There was no way around it. It was profoundly funny to me.

[A]

And he manifested that orange light.

[C]

He did, yeah. He did, yeah.

[B]

Speaking of things that make us laugh. Okay, your new film. Is this thing still on? Is this thing on? Is great. That's still on.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This be a sequel.

[A]

Is this thing still on?

[C]

We've thought about it. Is this thing still on? We have. We joked that that would be the. You said that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it's this thing on. We're very excited about it in this country. I mean, we would be anyway because Bradley Cooper's directing it. You're in it. It's recipe for success. But also John Bishop.

[C]

Yeah, John Bishop. The great John Bishop.

[B]

Yeah. It should be pointed out, it's like inspired by his life. Not about his life, but like it's. You know, it's crazy for us that there's a Bish movie.

[C]

I know. We love Bish.

[A]

Yeah, we love the Bish.

[C]

Yeah, Love the Bish. And crazily enough, I met him over a meal just to tie back and thank you, Ben. And just nothing. And I met him over a meal. I was on a barge in Amsterdam. True story. Having lunch on a barge and one of those canal boats. Not a barge, I guess be funny. An open barge just with a table.

[A]

And John Bishop's there.

[C]

And it's me and John Bishop, just the two of us. And the candle. We. Candle keeps going out because. Because of the wind.

[A]

Yeah. It is writing. It starts writing.

[C]

We should have brought one of those glass things to put over it. So the candle. But we both forgot. Anyway, sorry. That's a different. So that's in this still on Is that is John Mitchell. So we're on a bards. And he told me the story. We met through a mutual friend. And he told me the story of how he became a standup, which I found really inspiring. And that's how it happened. And so his story of that was kind of the kicking off point of inspiring. Us to write this film. I immediately called my writing partner, Mark Chappell, who we were talking about before the show. He's a great guy, hilarious writer, and we worked together many times before. I said, we got to do this movie about John Bishop. Do you know his story? He said, I've been thinking about that. I know that story and I've wanted to do something. So that how we started. And we brought Bradley. We were talking about with Bradley, sort of sent him this stuff that we've been working on. And he said, great, Can I come in? And what you guys have written is shit. Do you mind if I write a good script?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Not how that went down, but. And Mark always jokes. He's like, if Bradley hadn't come on, we would have made a fairly decent romantic comedy. But it is true. Bradley came on and we made this movie. So. Yeah. But it's Bish at the heart of it. So, you know, I've been here in London, We've had the premiere at the London Film Festival. We done some press, and it's been great hanging out with Bish. And after all these years. That was seven years ago.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And now here we are. I can't believe that it actually happened.

[A]

Was there any talk of you going full Bish and doing the Scouse accent?

[C]

There was never talk of. Put it this way, I don't think I have the guts to go full Bish.

[A]

Not many people have the guts to go full Bishop. Even Bish sometimes is like, I'd like to see it.

[C]

I'd love to see it. No. Yeah, he. No, there wasn't. We. We toyed with early on, like, oh, do we. Because he's from Liverpool. Scouser, obviously. And then he was living outside of Manchester and do we do that? And we just didn't want it to feel, you know, Full Monty.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know what I mean? Oh, due respect to Full Monty, Great movie. We wanted to. We didn't want it. It wasn't. That wasn't the story we were telling. You know, people who wrote the Full

[B]

Monty are from that background. I think it's in shape.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

And so if you're writing it, you want to write what you know and not just go, let's imagine what.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I meant. Which is like, we want to do it justice in that way. And then if I'm doing it, I'm trying to do an accent to do. To try to go full Bish.

[A]

Yeah. It's a dangerous accent to try and. To try and do.

[C]

It's very hard. It's. It's really hard. It's even hard for people from Liverpool to do.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They look in pain a lot.

[C]

Yeah, they do.

[B]

I would like. I mean, to not do it as a sequel, but for you guys to make just a John Bishop story and you do go full Bishop and do it in Liverpool and in a kind of wet, hot American summer style, which I'm probably thinking of because of, well, all the people. Brad Bradley was in that, wasn't it?

[C]

Yeah, Bradley was.

[B]

Yeah. So, like. But like, I would like to see like that kind of you do a film like that about Bishop's life where you just do. Play John Bishop, do the voice and kind of arch.

[C]

A little bit. Arch, you mean?

[B]

Yeah, a little bit of a. Like a spoof film. You're allowed to just be as silly as possible.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Requests for films ever.

[C]

I. We. We just opened a request line. Yeah. We have a hotline fully man, 24 hours a day. We have a whole team of people and. And then we also have a website.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And yeah, and then we also do. Well, I also do in home requests. So if people reach out and you sign up and then I come to your home and you pitch me at your house.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because I don't want to put you out.

[B]

That's very kind of you. Well, we always start with still a sparkling water will on it. Do you have a preference?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Cool.

[A]

Don't even joke because this has happened to us before.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Where a guest just goes, yeah.

[C]

Is it true? Yeah, yeah, it's like a one word answer.

[B]

I mean, you've. You've got your own podcast. You know how this. How this world works, but sometimes guests have no idea.

[C]

Well, to answer your question, sparkling.

[A]

Lovely.

[C]

What did you think? Did you. Did you. If you had had to guess, I think sparkly.

[A]

I think I would have gone with sparkling.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And tell me why.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Just based as a thin slice, as just a first impression, why you would

[B]

think I'd go sparkly on the honest will.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

This is my answer because we've only just met, but

[C]

I demand rigorous honesty.

[B]

I've got a pre existing parasocial relationship with your work, so I would say that I would think job. BoJack, a lot of your characters would have sparkling. I can't imagine those characters choosing still water. And your character in Blades of Glory is definitely having sparkling water. So I got to assume you get cast in those roles for a reason. And you're sparkling water guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's why that's what I would assume.

[C]

Can I just say something? And I mean this. I appreciate the candor.

[A]

Personally, I think you're a very well put together man. You're stylish.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

And I can't imagine you having still water. I imagine you sitting on a piazza in Rome, maybe sipping a. Sipping a sparkling.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

By the way, not styled clothing from anywhere. This is. This is all mine. Guys come in styled by their stylist.

[B]

And the.

[C]

This legitimately, this is me. Yeah.

[B]

Ben's been styled by a stylist today.

[C]

Has he?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. And still has eyesight. Still in full. Do you get change in the dark?

[B]

No.

[C]

Okay. Ben looks very good. I must say.

[A]

Ben looks good. He always looks good.

[B]

Always looks good.

[C]

He's got a good. Is that a corduroy?

[B]

It is if you want it to be.

[C]

Yeah, we can be.

[B]

Yeah, it can be if you want it to be.

[C]

Well, by the way, now, did you guys. When you decided to. This studio is quite nice. I mean, I feel honored to be in the. In the new space, the renovated space.

[A]

Yes. You're the first. You're the first guest. I'll be honest, this is the first time I've seen it today because normally. So we used to have a big table in here and we'd all sit around a table. It was a bit more of a circular discussion, but I thought this wall was gonna go is what I thought. So. It's quite tight in here, isn't it?

[C]

You guys are quite sorry. I just got this from the bookshelf. I hope you guys are. I just.

[B]

Stacy Dooley's book, Dear Mini. Yes, you're reading that now.

[C]

Have you guys had a chance?

[B]

No, but we have.

[A]

We have interviewed her about it, but we've not had a chance.

[C]

As a favor, I actually don't know what it's about, so I say. Oh, Sarah Pasco. I know Sarah Pasco.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Are you gonna do a Sarah Pasco movie? That would be good. Based on Sarah's life, by the way.

[C]

Legend.

[A]

Yes, Total legend.

[C]

Has he been on the podcast?

[A]

He's been on the pod.

[C]

I just saw him last night. He was at the screening last night.

[B]

Richard E. Grant.

[C]

We're talking about Richard E. Grant. Well, maybe you guys air any of the video. They might be able to see that.

[A]

Oh, yeah, Just for the audience.

[C]

Presentationally. I don't normally just hold it up for people like this. Have you seen.

[A]

That's how you met him last night. You were just holding up

[C]

outside of his house with A marker with a Sharpie. And he, he came to the screening last night. I had the chance to meet him years ago and Richard E. Grant is my favorite. Richard with Illinois is my favorite film

[B]

of, of all time.

[C]

Anyway, he surprised me and he came to the screening last night and it was an unbelievable thrill. I came down and he was there in the green room and he was very complimentary about the film and he gave me a big hug. And to think that what 17 year old me would have thought when I saw that film, when it came out, that he came to a screening of our film blew me away. It was a real life moment. I'm still riding the high right now and also the drugs, but I'm riding two highs.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And that's good. The double highs.

[C]

That's incredible.

[B]

What's been the biggest one of those moments you've had in your career?

[C]

That's a big, that, that's a really big one for me. I've had a few, you know, I really get star struck by, by, you know, sporting figures like athletes and people who. In that. So there's a guy, there's a Canadian hockey player called Wendell Clark who's been my idol forever. And I, I finally. And I spent a lot of time around the Toronto Maple Leafs are my team. So he was the captain and he was just a great, incredible all around player, fighter, tough goal scorer, just a salt of the earth dude. And I met him last year, about a year and a half ago. And it was one of those things that was incredible. And I'd been around the team a lot and all that, but we kept missing each other for years. And I was in an elevator and he got in. I saw him come in and he stood in front of me like this and then turned around, he was facing out because we're in the elevator. I was behind. I was with my dad. And then his wife looked over and saw me and then she nudged him and he turned around and we embraced and got off the elevator and said it was a mind blow. And then Jurgen Klopp from Liverpool, who was the manager of Liverpool. Yes. Yeah. And then he and I and. Yeah.

[B]

Was Bish there?

[C]

Bish was not well, actually. He told me last night Bish was there, but he was in the stands and I didn't know he was there. And I was down. I happened to be on the pitch. It was Jurgen's happened to be on the pitch. Yeah, I mean I wasn't. I didn't think I was gonna start at all. Like there was No, I mean, you know, you never think you're gonna start trading.

[A]

Take your boots with you, right?

[C]

Take your boots. And you've had a good week. And, you know, you've trained hard with the lads and. And then. And you never know because, you know, you never know what the skip's gonna. You know, what. What the. You know, what the gaffer wants to do. You know what I mean? Yeah. Anyway, so that was another thrill.

[B]

Jurgen Klopp's or bread.

[C]

What did he say?

[A]

He. He said poppadoms or bread. This is the. The course at the beginning. You're either being brought poppadoms or bread.

[C]

Poppadoms or bread.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, bread. Thank you.

[A]

And don't worry, everyone always needs a translation from what James has said.

[C]

Well, also, I mean, it's the. Sure pure volume and not just the volume in terms of sound. Yeah, that sound came at me in volume.

[A]

Yes. You know, I'll be honest, to the power of three. First time we've done it in this space.

[C]

Did you find it loud?

[A]

I did. You know, I found it really loud. I hated it the most I've ever hated it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And also I was taking a sip of water, so I nearly. I nearly spat on you.

[C]

Would have been great to have a spit take.

[A]

Yeah, it would have been good. That's the clip sorted.

[C]

I was.

[A]

It is, yeah.

[C]

I think at the end we should all try spit takes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I think so we do that at the end in case we. Because we don't want to spit on the mics and stuff. But I did it. I tried to do one yesterday and I ended. I knew something was coming up and so the guy said something and then I. And then I afterwards filled my mouth with sparkling water and then did a spit take.

[A]

A sparkling spit take is rare.

[C]

I mean, it's the Cadillac of spit takes because it comes out and it's got something to it. Which is, again, not to go back to sparkling water because we've moved on, we're in bread. But really sparkling water, I mean, it just dances in your mouth. Yeah.

[A]

Spit takes only really work with all liquid. I find, though, yeah, you can't do a food spit take, particularly, I don't think.

[C]

No, no, it's not good. I mean, it wouldn't be great with any. Really. Any kind of food would be pretty.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Gross. You know, scrambled egg tiramisu, spit take. Revolting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But what's the grossest thing you've had to do with food on camera? And is it the mustard parmesan thing? From investor development.

[C]

That was pretty rough.

[B]

But you just got.

[C]

That was pretty rough.

[B]

Here's a question about that.

[C]

Yeah. Thank you for teeing yourself up.

[A]

He will. He will do that.

[C]

I like it. I like it a lot.

[B]

You better get used to that.

[C]

By the way. You know, I have a podcast, and we. I often say.

[A]

Is that where we're putting the I didn't feel podcast?

[C]

You're not going to go, oh, smart. Let's get it now on SiriusXM, wherever you get podcasts, and switch over to Smart List Mobile. I don't know what kind of service you guys have on your phone anyway, because if I did something, that would be gross. Yes. But I also do. I go, I've started doing this thing I noticed on the podcast, which drives me crazy. I go, let me ask you a question. And I'm like, why don't you just ask the question? What am I doing?

[A]

We're very bad for stuff like this. Quite often, one of us will ask a question and the other one will say to them, good question, man.

[C]

Yeah, that's good. I like that.

[A]

So we'll be like, we'll gas each other up.

[C]

Have you ever read comments and stuff about your. About the podcast, like on Instagram and stuff? Sometimes you'll read stuff, and I agree with them. People go, I hate Will when he does that. Go, I hate Will when he does that, too. I hate.

[A]

We're in agreement here.

[B]

We're in agreement.

[C]

He looks like. I agree. I thought I looked like, too. Anyway, question about Arrested Development and the mustard and parmesan in the Ninja Turtles

[B]

film that you were in.

[C]

Thank you so much.

[B]

At one point, your character also eats mustard and parmesan, and there is Careless Whisper by George Michael playing in the background. Obviously, that is a reference to when it happens in Arrested Development. Whose idea was that?

[C]

Obviously mine. Nobody else knew what. Yeah, it was. Sometimes you just look for things to kind of entertain yourself. And so that was like a little Easter egg just for me. And I said, hey, I think I'm gonna do the mustache. And they were like, yeah, go for it. Anyway. All right. Move that light like nobody gave a shit.

[A]

It's a very loose improv feel on the Ninja Turtles.

[C]

Right, man, it's incredible. And you got the. Thanks for giving the vibe. It was. Those films did well. Yeah, they did well for their audience. That. They did very well.

[A]

I'm a dedicated Ninja Turtle guy.

[C]

Is that true?

[A]

Hero turtles, they were called here. Did you know that? Were they Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles?

[C]

No. Is that true? It was why they didn't want to offend the ninjas.

[A]

I think they were.

[C]

This country is crawling with ninjas.

[A]

I think they were worried that we didn't know what ninjas were.

[C]

Is that true?

[A]

They didn't want us to learn about ninja. And I guess the first time you learn about ninjas, ideally it shouldn't be. They shouldn't be turtles because that's going to, that's going to color your whole opinion of ninjas moving forward, right?

[C]

Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, you don't want to sully, you know, just the legend of ninjas or just the idea of ninjas. You want that to remain as pure as possible.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I get that.

[A]

So bread. You're having bread.

[C]

So I'm having bread.

[A]

Do you have a type of bread that is your dream bread?

[C]

No, I, you know, I, So I was thinking about this. I had a really, a nice bread last night that I did not, I didn't partake in. It was late and I knew I was having a big meal. So I, But I do often I have a. Generally my rule is I'll only have bread at a meal if it's warm, nice. If it just comes out and it's bread slightly. If you haven't bothered to warm it up, then I'm not going to bother eating it. Yeah. And.

[A]

And do you say that to them?

[C]

Obviously I go into the kitchen.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But I don't have to say it to them because I have pre made cards that say that.

[A]

Yeah, that's nice.

[C]

Yeah. And it's just a nice. And you just do one of those kind of like really. And just put it like that. Push it forward on the desk, on the counter.

[A]

I've never done that. I'd love to do that.

[C]

I know. Push something forward.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Well, that's the like a bankrupt style

[C]

where like you put like the number, the amount, you know, the note, put the money in the bag.

[A]

Yeah. $25.

[C]

25. No. And so I have. I'd like it to be warm. Couple of things here also. When you open the restaurant before customers get there, take the butter out of the fridge.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

What are we doing?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Stop. It's not going to go bad. From the time you. Everybody gets there and starts prepping and I sit down for my meal. I don't need it. I don't need it to spread across my. Ruin the texture of my bread and spread across in little chunks and ball up.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And now I've got to like take the little. The ones that are individually wrapped and warm it with my hands so I can. And that goes for toast too. Guess what? Butter it before you bring it to the table for me, please.

[A]

Oh, you like it pre buttered?

[C]

Absolutely. I want it to come buttered. Otherwise what are we doing? Yeah. Are we civilized or not?

[A]

How do you know that the restaurant know how much butter you like on your toast?

[C]

Guess. They should guess just in the way that you guess. I like sparkling. Take a look at me.

[A]

Yeah, Size you up.

[C]

Size me up. Yeah. And go. This guy likes to go deep with butter.

[B]

Yeah, He's a sophisticated.

[C]

I like a nice crispy toast but then have just. Just a thin layer over all of it. I think everybody would pretty much be fine with that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[C]

And you do. Obviously there are psychos out there that like dry toast.

[A]

Well, who though? I mean.

[C]

And we want to guess what, we want to try to filter those people out anyway. We want to find. We want to know who you are.

[A]

Straight to prison.

[C]

Straight to prison.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No trial for more dry bread.

[A]

The thing is, they love it. Wouldn't they though?

[C]

They're dying to go to prison.

[B]

Well, that sounds lovely.

[C]

Well, okay. Sorry. The last thing with the bread, I like it when it comes out when those little round. Like a little round loaf that they cut, that they quarter. So you cut off a big chunk and it's. And then steamy comes out and then you put a nice soft butter on it. And here's the ultimate. The Everest of warm bread before a meal. A really well made pretzel roll. Oh, pretzel bread.

[B]

Is that what you would like to drink?

[C]

Pretzel bread? Yeah.

[A]

It is less than America.

[C]

Maybe, maybe it's more American. But there's a restaurant in New York that does a pretzel bread that'll blow your. Put it this way, you're going to want to button up your socks because it might. It might blow them off.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Shout out the restaurant.

[C]

The strip house on 12th street in New York between University and 5th Ave. For me. Pound for pound, best steak in America. Wow. Yeah. And people have all these other big fancy names. This is they. Consistency is key with a restaurant. We all know that. We're all in the restaurant business and it is just consistently fantastic. The way they. The way they go, just amazing. I don't trust a lot of restaurants to order medium rare anymore.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Because they can't get it right.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But Strip house, I go medium rare because they do it right.

[A]

And the pretzel roll.

[C]

The pretzel roll this is. I mean, to quote many great people. Forget about it finally.

[A]

But yeah, you got.

[C]

You got a minute.

[A]

Ben laughed.

[C]

Gotta laugh over Ben.

[B]

Restart your menu proper now. Will your dream starter. Anything specific, Is it from a specific place, like the bread one?

[C]

This one is not from a specific place. It's just. It needs to be. Well, it needs to just be well done. And I don't mean cooked well done. I mean it needs to be well made. And that is. And I'm gonna go. A lot of my stuff I'm gonna do are going to be. Are fairly classic. Yeah. Classic never goes out of style. True.

[A]

And quote that,

[C]

I guess. Thank you. Framed. I send it to you guys. Framed. Meanwhile, doing that. Another laugh out of Ben.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Just for the record, chalk it up. Ftr. Absolutely. Foie gras.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Foie gras. Little toast points. My friend Joe on the way here, he says sourdough. I said, great question. Sure.

[A]

What was the answer? We go with sourdough.

[C]

Could be.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Doesn't necessarily need to be. Can be just brown toast if you want, but. But well, well done. Little points, you know, triangles.

[A]

Crunchy, crunchy.

[C]

And then nice, good consistency. Not, you know, that's. That's not like ice cold and chill. No, no, no, no, no. Not like. Like a cold pate. Like a beautiful. Like a real foie gras with like a fig jam.

[A]

Oh, nice.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This is super classic.

[C]

Very rich. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And the food as well.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, and the food is too. Yeah, you're right.

[A]

How often you're having foie gras. Is this like a special occasion thing or. Because we don't know. We don't know the lifestyle you're leading, you know?

[C]

Yeah, well, these days, not as much as I'd like to. There was a time there, I feel like I used to have it more. I don't come across it as much.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's not on as many menus as it used to be. I think that people got, you know,

[A]

there's some ethical questions around foie gras,

[C]

I guess, which I understand.

[A]

Yeah. And if.

[C]

But I don't think a lot of those people are watching this program or listening to the podcast.

[B]

Tons of them will be.

[C]

Is that true? Yeah.

[A]

No, no, no, they don't.

[C]

Because they have issues with tons.

[B]

Tons of them.

[C]

Metric tons of them.

[B]

Yeah. Watching them.

[A]

James has no idea who our audience are. He's not on social media. He doesn't know the reaction to anything.

[B]

So tons of them.

[C]

Boy, this is the Statement. He is standing by.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So, yeah, they don't have as much, but. But when you find a real. When you find a good restaurant that makes a fantastic foie gras, man, stick with it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So that's for me. That's it. That's the. The bee's knees.

[A]

Do you. Is it. I know you say, just as long as it's prepared well. Is there a restaurant that you know, that you found that does. That does a good version.

[B]

So what did you say it was?

[C]

Foie gras.

[B]

Yeah. You see, you gave it a compliment a minute ago.

[C]

The bees. It's the bees knees. Bees.

[B]

Carry on.

[C]

Well done. Yeah. Rest is development.

[B]

My girlfriend made me promise that if there was an opportunity to do that, I would do that.

[C]

And it. Boy, did I serve.

[B]

So what, am I getting sent to prison now?

[A]

The problem is he's just sent to

[C]

prison to eat dry toast.

[B]

Yeah. Is that what. Is that what's happening now?

[A]

The problem is, Will, I don't know if you noticed. You served, you served up the opportunity, then we moved on. And then James made you go back.

[C]

He's doing. His timing is amazing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not happy with how it turned out.

[C]

Of course not.

[B]

Not sitting here. Delighted.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

About it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But if it. Yeah, yeah. She didn't listen to this episode, did she? Would have heard you say be's knees. And then it moved on and then she was. How is he missing?

[C]

That would be trouble.

[A]

End of the relationship.

[B]

So even my relationship's over. Or I did that.

[C]

Imagine if she. If she listened to it and you came home and she's just sitting, like in the front room or. I don't know what your situation, but whatever that is. You come in and she's sitting with her head in her hands in the dark.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And she says, can we talk?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And you think, this is it.

[B]

I'll already know what it's about.

[C]

But you'll know.

[B]

Yeah, I know what this is about. I'll be like, man, Benito's me. And kept it in the edit.

[C]

Heavy.

[B]

I'll have known it was his fault.

[C]

That'd be heavy.

[B]

But thanks for letting me do it. Responding nicely to it.

[C]

Of course.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You know, there's a lot on your shoulders there. Yeah, Great. Brilliant.

[C]

There we go.

[B]

Brilliant.

[C]

That was for her.

[B]

Absolutely.

[C]

That was to bail you out. I want you to be happy.

[B]

Successfully.

[C]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Thank you. Will, Your dream main course, staying in

[C]

the classic theme, please.

[A]

Because.

[C]

Because the classics are classics for a reason.

[A]

Yeah. Fry bitch.

[C]

I mean, is there a Framing store near here.

[A]

We can.

[C]

I don't know if you guys have enough wall space for the shit I'm dropping. I'm going a nice big, thick cut bone in dry age. Rib eye.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[C]

Medium rare.

[A]

The king of the stakes.

[C]

The king of the sticks. Marbleized.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Flavor a little. A little char, as they call it. Pittsburgh, that's what they call it. A little bit charred on the outside. Medium rare on the inside, but not raw, just the center. The pinkest part, obviously, and almost a little bit red at the very same. Almost. And that, man, you're gonna. That's some good eating.

[A]

Yeah, I'm. I'm in complete agreement with you. That's the. That's the dream.

[C]

So that's the dream entree. Yeah, that's the main.

[A]

Now, for those of you listening, Will is miming how big this steak is.

[C]

This is the plate. But by the way. Sure, yeah, sure. If you want to bring me a dry aged bone in ribeye that's this big Flintstone size. Yeah. Flintstones. Yeah, I'mma eat it. Yeah, okay.

[B]

Would you say yabba dabba do when you saw it?

[C]

I wouldn't say yabba dabba. Don't let me put it that way. Middle of the plate, big, juicy.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Now you're gonna say. You're gonna say, well, how are you gonna eat that? How are you gonna. What is it? Is it coming? It's just in its own juices. It's in its own juices.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

But it's not just in its own juices. Because what you're gonna have on this side, never over top, never put poured on it in the kitchen, but on the side so you can do it according to. You're going to make your own assessment. When you see the cut of meat when it comes out. This Pittsburgh charred, beautiful bone in medium rare ribeye. You have a little pot of au poivre.

[A]

Oui, oui.

[B]

I've not even heard this word.

[A]

What?

[B]

Never heard this word before.

[C]

Au poivre.

[A]

GCSE French. Don't tell him what it is. We're going to try and make him guess.

[B]

Oh, God.

[C]

Or.

[A]

You definitely studied French because we all had to study French. Yeah.

[B]

How's it spelled?

[C]

O E. The. How do you say it is not salt but

[A]

butter. That's a big clue. That was a huge clue from you, Will.

[B]

I think Pepper. Pepper sauce. Peppercorn sauce.

[A]

Of course, you could have worked it out from what goes with steak, and then you should have worked it out by.

[C]

It's not salt. It's pepper.

[A]

Well, that was the big clue.

[C]

That was the biggest of the clues,

[A]

because pepper's the opposite of stuff.

[C]

Well, you might refer to as peppercorn. Peppercorn sauce. Is that what you call it? Peppercorn sauce? Yeah, but. And that's cute. It's delightful, but it's really au poivre.

[B]

What's exciting about you doing this voice is it's reminded me that you are our first guest on the podcast who was in a film, the film that gets referenced the most on this podcast.

[C]

Is that right?

[B]

Ratatouille gets referenced more on this podcast than any other film.

[C]

That makes sense.

[B]

And you are our very first guest who was in Ratatouille. You play a French character in that.

[C]

German.

[B]

German. Your character.

[C]

German.

[B]

Horst.

[C]

Horst.

[B]

Horst, who is like an ex convict and no one knows what he did.

[C]

Yeah. With this, Sam, I killed a man. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Very exciting to have.

[C]

Remember all my dialogue. Shall we?

[A]

Yeah, please. Go for it.

[B]

But this is huge for the. For the pod. It's a huge moment.

[C]

I'm really honored to be here as a representative of Ratatouille.

[B]

I mean, I. I assume you were just you in a booth doing multiple lines all day on your own, or was there.

[C]

No, I was actually in a.

[A]

In a.

[C]

On a. Sort of a. On a stage. On a. On a, you know, mixing stage, sort of recording stage with Brad Bird, the director. Oh, yeah. In there with me.

[B]

Oh, good.

[C]

Which was exciting. And. And I've told. He knows this, but I. I've. Because I've said before I got there. I don't know what happened. It. I didn't realize that Mike, he was like, you know, and we're going through. And he had all the materials there, and he take me through all the boards, and I was in there, and he goes. And obviously, you know, Horst is German. And I went, obviously, Christ. And I broke into a sweat. And, like, really quickly, I was like. And, you know, I'm not, like, known for my accents and. Or am I? And I. So I was like, oh, shit. Like, I do like a German. Like, just like a bar tricky, like, to your friends. So anyway, so I just did it on the spot and like, all right. He's like, you ready to go? I'm like, yeah, totally. And then kind of got through it.

[A]

How did that information not get through to you? Is that. Did you not read the email?

[C]

The worst representatives. One of them's here today. He's the one worst of the bunch. He's just. He's on the thinnest of ice. He's out there right now. He's probably listening. And it drives me, knowing him, he's

[A]

not listening to this.

[C]

Exactly. Yeah, yeah, he's on his phone. Scrolling X. X, by the way. What?

[A]

Come on.

[C]

X. Shut up. Named by a four year old. What are you. We're going to call it X. Okay. Ding dong.

[A]

Anyway, it's about time someone took that guy down.

[C]

I mean he's taking himself down.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Is he unfunny? But he's smart. But is he unfunny? Okay, so here's the other thing. Opwav. Yeah.

[A]

Wait.

[C]

Right that's in the middle of the plate and you're probably thinking like you're having that on its own or you can have some sides with that. It's not living alone on the plate. It's got a side, but that side needs to be right next to it. You want to husband it with that touching.

[A]

The touching.

[C]

They got to be touching a certain part. And you're going to understand why because it is a nice medium cut, dark golden brown french fry. A pile of them on the side.

[A]

For a second I thought it was one.

[C]

Not a single. No, no, I'm not insane anymore. A pile of fries. Yeah, Beautiful, perfect French fries, you know, and you're going to find a good fry like you're going to find a good fry like this, like a sort of a steak fruit type fry. You're going to find it in, in France, like in Paris.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

In Belgium you'll find a delicious fry, you know, because you know, with a mould frite, if you want you could go, that's not what we're having tonight. But I'm saying it's that, it's that caliber fry on the plate. And the reason being, as you start enjoying this delicious steak, the juices start to run and under that pile of golden goodness it starts to pool a little bit with the steak juice and the au poivre, the pep algon if you will. And it creates this soggy base of fry that you're then able to put your fork in. And now you're applying some soggy.

[B]

And.

[C]

And if you want. And I might want to do this in this meal, I might. Excuse me and call back and I might get like a thing and I can taste it now I might ask for just a little side of like a creamy horseradish sauce. Every other, not every bite, every other bite might have a little creamy. And now everything's working and it's all Salubir.

[A]

I love that you're not initially asking for the horseradish.

[C]

No, I wait.

[A]

You wait?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You hold off.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you think, I'm gonna have

[C]

that because you go pure first.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And then you start to. And then you start to add to it. You know, you're not going to build. You're not going to build the house. You're not going to build the roof first on a house.

[A]

No, we've built the foundations of the fries, but the foundations are flooding slightly. Yeah, there's a damp basement in there.

[C]

Yeah, but. And on the side. And for the fries, what you might have. So for the ones underneath, you got the sauce, you know. For the ones on top, you have a little thing of mayonnaise. Yeah. Dip the fries in the mayonnaise.

[B]

Lovely.

[C]

At this point, you're virtually untouchable. Okay. You're bulletproof now.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You're in the middle of this and you're thinking, like, we're done. Well, we're not.

[A]

We're not done.

[C]

No, because we got some. On this other plate, we have a nice little plate of beautifully buttered, kind of almost glistening green beans.

[A]

Nice. So there's. There's a vegetable involved here, of course.

[C]

Well, there are two, because there's. There's gonna be. There's gonna be a late addition that's gonna come over the top.

[A]

That's all we've done here.

[C]

Well, no, this is gonna drive you mad.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

This is gonna be.

[A]

Hit me.

[C]

People are gonna be ripping their headphones off this podcast and going out for this meal. Yeah. You've got the green bean. And then they put down. And this. This is something. If I see on the menu, I never turn it down.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

A beautiful bowl of creamed corn. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Old school.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

Yeah. Classic cream corn.

[A]

And that's obviously also introducing another slight liquid element to the plate. If you're putting that on the plate.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

You've got the au poivre.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

You've got the juices, you've got. And now you've got the creamed corn.

[C]

Now you've got the cream corn.

[A]

That's turning into a lovely little melange, isn't it?

[C]

Oh, it's a delightful. Yeah, it's a delightful. It's the eaten mess at that point of entrees.

[A]

It's savory eating mess.

[C]

Yeah, it's a savory mess.

[B]

And this cream corn, like how. How creamy are we talking? What's your perfect type of cream?

[C]

Not too creamy, not runny for Me. But also not too, you know, not too runny and creamy, but also it does need to have cream. Sometimes they try to get. Sometimes they try to skimp on the cream. And you're like, well, now you're just serving me niblets of corn.

[A]

It's the first wor. The dish.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You've got to lead with. You got to lead with cream, right?

[C]

Yeah. It almost looks like a fondue.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's not. It's not cream corn. It's cream corn.

[A]

You want to be able to spoon it on, but you don't want to have to ladle it on.

[C]

Exactly. Right.

[A]

There you go.

[C]

You're fully on board.

[B]

Yeah, Frame that.

[A]

Frame that.

[C]

I'd love to frame it.

[A]

Can I ask a question about the bone? About the bone in the steak? Because it's a bone in the steak in the bone.

[C]

Thank God.

[A]

And then I have follow up questions.

[B]

Ed's never had sex before. He was just gonna ask.

[C]

Is that true?

[A]

Yeah, that is. Normally at this point, I ask the guests about what sex is like.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Ask them what it's like and if he should do it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the steak sounds nice, but hold on. Okay, I'll hold off. I want it to be special.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's got a promise ring.

[C]

Wow. Yeah, like, promise to do it.

[A]

It's a promise ring to myself.

[C]

Oh, okay. I see. I see.

[A]

One day I will do it.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I promise.

[C]

Good for you.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

The bone in the steak.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

How big. How big is this bone? What. What are we talking?

[C]

I mean, it can be 6, 7, 8 inches. It might be pretty. It might be pretty substantial. Look, I'm not opposed to somebody that you're eating with saying, hey, do you mind if I bring it back for my dog? You know, that whole bit people do, that whole thing.

[A]

So you're not. You're not picking up the bone and gnawing it, are you?

[C]

It depends. It depends on how much is left on there. Because if there's some decent meat and or delicious fat stuck to that bone, I'm gonna go at it.

[A]

Yeah. And I respect you for that. I'm the guy who's. Who's chewing the bone, I think.

[C]

Yeah, you are. And I'm gonna say to whomever. Whomever I'm eating with, I mean, look, I'm gonna pick this thing up.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I might hit this for a minute.

[A]

Is there any situation where you wouldn't do that? Where you're worried about sort of politeness or. The king. Yeah, King Charles.

[C]

King Charles. Yeah. For meeting with King Charles.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That's family.

[C]

Like, in some sort of, like, official. Now look, if we're up at, you know, wherever it is, wherever they're, you know, Balmoral or something, and it's summertime and we're just kind of chilling out, he's not gonna mind.

[A]

I don't think I'm imagining him in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts at that point.

[C]

Sure. Although it's drafty.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I will say, even in the summer, it's quite drafty.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I imagine it's where most drafts originate.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Balmoral.

[C]

Yeah. From Scotland, where they're all born.

[B]

So if you.

[C]

Sorry, go ahead.

[B]

Dinner with a friend, and they're going to say, can I take the bone back for my dog?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

If you're thinking now of all your friends, different dogs for the dream meal, who is the dog you'd most like the bone to go to?

[A]

Great.

[B]

Is a friend's dog.

[A]

Great question.

[C]

Do I have. Am I thinking of a specific dog? I do. I am thinking of a specific dog. And his name is Emerson, a little bit older, which actually, coincidentally, is my middle name. Oh, yeah. And he's got this big sort of like. We still know what it is. Like this big kind of thing on his paw right now. How old is Emerson? I think he's 11. And it looks like a tennis ball under his thing, but he's okay. And he's a good boy. He's kind of like a beautiful gray lab. Beautiful. And he would go crazy for it. And I will say, because you hear this a lot, but he is actually a particularly good boy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Because they get told that all the time.

[C]

Because I hear people hear this today before I came in here across this woman as well, and. And I could tell that this woman. And because she had. She was telling her dog that he was a good boy, but I thought. I don't know.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But Emerson is legitimately a good boy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's good.

[C]

He's a good, good boy.

[A]

Can't all be good boys.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Would you want the bones going to Mr. Peanut Butter or not?

[C]

Oh, from. From BoJack.

[B]

BoJack Horseman.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's been on this podcast, Mr. Peanut Butter.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Paul Tompkins has.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Has he really?

[A]

He has.

[C]

I love Paul Tompkins.

[A]

He's amazing.

[C]

He is hilarious. Yeah. He and I used to sit together at the BoJack Horseman recordings, like, the table reads, rather. And Amy Sedaris was never there. She was always in New York, and she would call in on speakerphone for table reads. And then sometimes she would read other characters just if they. They'd ask her to. Cause they would, you know, have all these. And they didn't have it cast yet, or. And Amy was like, sure, I'll do it, because she's the coolest and she'll do anything. And she would take these huge swings with these characters and just go, crazy voice and Paul Tompkins, and I would fucking die. I have so many memories of that. Yeah.

[B]

She's one of the funniest people ever.

[C]

He is.

[B]

Well, he is. But Amy Sedaris.

[C]

Oh, Amy Sedaris. She's in. Is this thing on in the film?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Very exciting.

[C]

Yeah. And I've known her for ages. I adore her. She's so funny.

[A]

My wife is so obsessed with Amy Sedaris. But mainly.

[C]

You haven't had sex with your wife.

[A]

I'm holding off. You told me to hold off.

[C]

Sorry. Your wife is obsessed with Amy Sedaris.

[A]

Mainly from the videos of her showing you around where she lives and all of the plastic food collection she's got and stuff.

[C]

Dude, she's the best. Yeah.

[B]

So you're not sending Mr. Peanut Butter the bone? Emerson's getting it. Yeah.

[C]

No, no, no, no. I mean, he's an animated. That would be foolish.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, I'm gonna send it to Raphael. Bob Waksberg's house, you know, who created the show. Yeah. And say, hey, can you send this to the animators? Yeah. And see if they can feed Right.

[A]

People would be worried about you at that point, I think.

[C]

Yeah. I just don't even. I'm just trying to sort of. Just trying to walk through that, like, right now, like, what that looks like. That's.

[A]

They would have to draw the bone, I guess. They would have to copy the bone. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. BoJack, that was a lifetime ago. Yeah. People make remarks all the time. All these time, did people go like, that's the horse from Horsing Around? I'm like, I know, man. I mean, I love it. I love it. It's really funny. Writing about fails.

[A]

Did you mean to make a horse sound? Then after you.

[C]

I mean, that's legit. But he never even did that. No, it's just like, one of those things. You're like,

[B]

what do you mean? You're just exhausted. Talking about BoJack.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Too much.

[C]

It's a lot of BoJack talk. I shouldn't say too much. I mean, I do obviously love it. And again, he's brilliant, and what he wrote was brilliant, but I got.

[B]

Is there Anything. And I always like it when people get asked this, actually, actors, is there a project you've done?

[A]

How do you like that as a ramp up to a question?

[C]

I liked it a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I like it when other people ask this question. So I'm going to have a go at.

[A]

Have a go, man.

[B]

Is there some. Is there something you've done that you don't get asked about enough, that you just wish would come up more because you're so proud of it? It was something that you think is a hidden gem that people don't talk about enough.

[C]

No hidden gems.

[A]

All the gems are on display.

[C]

No gems. Yeah, that's the problem. I need to get some gems first and then I'll have. Then I'll have hidden gems.

[A]

You're all gems, man. That's why it's like the crown jewels. You're friends.

[B]

You can't see your own gems if you're in the gem box.

[C]

That's true. Yeah.

[A]

Frame it, frame it, frame it. Yep.

[B]

Your dream drink. Speaking of BoJack.

[C]

Well, it's a tough one. Like, the dream drink for me, it's non alcoholic. So what am I going to say? The American champagne. Sorry, Diet Coke.

[B]

You can say that.

[C]

Waiter at a French restaurant say to me once, taking drink orders, and just a Diet Coke for me. He goes, ah, American champagne. In like, the shittiest voice, I swear to God. And I was like, thank you for judging me. So, yeah, I'd probably stay with the sparkling. If pressed, I'll have myself a dc, but I don't mind a non. Like a really good, non alcoholic beer. I'd really good one in Switzerland because I do like that taste. It's good. So I'll have one of those every once in a while. Forget what the brand was. I looked, tried to find it was really good.

[B]

That's the thing with non alcoholic beers, isn't it? When you do find a good one.

[C]

Yeah. You're like, all right, you have to

[B]

write it down straight away because otherwise you're not going to remember it later on you'll be like, oh, my God. Yeah, I finally found a good one. And now I've got. The same thing happened in a bar and every time people bring up non alcoholic beers and finding good ones, all I can say to them is, go to Cafe Otto and Hackney and hopefully they've got the same one on still, because I can't remember what it's called.

[C]

Nice.

[B]

Which is very. And I think. I think that was Swiss as well,

[C]

I might call them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cafe Auto In Hackney and say, what? What's the beard that James had?

[B]

What beer did you have the night where there was a guy performing on the horse hair harp?

[C]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

And then they'll know.

[C]

Yeah, got it.

[A]

You had a good night of that.

[B]

Great night.

[C]

No, good night.

[B]

Great night. Banging night. Just horse hair harp, front to back, start to finish. There's a guy with a really bad cough who had to leave. And I watched him go up to security and show on an iPad, a thing that said, because my cough is so please can I have a refund written on the iPad.

[C]

Written on the iPad?

[B]

Yeah. Got a massive iPad written on it. He stood in front of security, he wrote it out first while still standing in front of them, and then showed them the iPad that said, because my cough is so bad, please might have a refund.

[C]

And why didn't he just say it to them? Because his cough was so bad?

[B]

I have no idea. It was like. It was like within the first five minutes of the show.

[A]

I suspected trying to be respectful to the.

[C]

Was it part of the show?

[B]

No, he was just. I was at the back. I saw him go trying to get out. Maybe it was part of the show just for me. And I feel lucky if that's the case.

[C]

How peculiar.

[B]

But it felt like he just didn't like the horsehair harp.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And because I hadn't heard him coughing.

[C]

And then all of a sudden, the

[B]

cough came on suddenly as soon as the music started.

[C]

Classic, this.

[B]

Over the top cough. Straight to security asking for refund.

[A]

I think anyone who carries an iPad round is a danger.

[C]

Anybody who carries one around is certainly we should be suspect of.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

But anybody. And I mean this. You guys have spent a bit of time with me now. Yeah. If you take a picture with an iPad, straight to jail.

[A]

Preach. You're in prison with a dry bread.

[C]

You are, you're. You've got a future of dry toast, my friend.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And you're taking big.

[C]

I want that to become like a saying that people now, instead of going to prison, like, you're gonna be eating a lot of dry. You got a lot of dry toast in your future. And then. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[B]

Aren't we saying that if they eat the dry toast, they get sent to prison?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because if. If. So if that's what they're getting fed in prison, they've landed on their feet.

[C]

Well, the irony is. The irony is that when they get there, it's only dry toast. Yeah.

[A]

So we're gonna have to put them in a Prison that only serves very wet toast. Right.

[C]

His Majesty's prison system.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Isn't. Isn't bringing a lot of butter. They're not worried about making sure that the prisoners get butter on their toast. Yeah. We got a lot of other things that we're worrying about. We're trying to balance a budget over here. You know, the Chancellor's under fire. You know, NHS is all of it underfunded. You know, they're closing down 24 hour police stations like crazy through London. There's an epidemic of phone theft.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's all because of middle market, you know, secondhand store. And they're sending these European phones into China.

[B]

Yeah, you know so much about.

[C]

Yeah, just wake up.

[A]

Wake up. I say that.

[C]

Sorry. No, I watched that on Wake Up London. Yeah. No, no.

[A]

And a lot of that is down to butter in prisons as well.

[C]

It's all about butter in prison.

[A]

The problem is with. If you give them too much butter in prison, they can squeeze themselves through the bars.

[B]

I knew it as soon as he started saying it and smiling to himself, I was like, he's gonna say they can squeeze through the bars.

[A]

You must say things to yourself sometimes that make you smile.

[C]

Of course.

[A]

Yeah. I'm imagining the image. It's a funny image to me.

[C]

It's a really fun image.

[B]

I can't imagine you smiling at your own stuff. You've been very. Just like a slice of toast, very dry.

[A]

Have I?

[C]

Yeah, I'll have a smile. I'm smiling on the inside.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I get accused of laughing at my own jokes with my friends from time to time sometimes. Bateman, this guy, he's an actor. He's been in like. What would you know? I'm from. Probably not. He's. He's pretty middle of the road, but he. What made me think of him was the mayonnaise. Just because he's so white. He'll often say to me, Jason will often say, oh, he couldn't get through your own. Oh, it's so funny. You couldn't get through your own bit.

[A]

Yeah. It's good to be called out on it now, isn't it? It's fun.

[B]

Has there been a particular take or something on a film or TV show where you couldn't get over it with laughing. Ruin a lot of takes?

[C]

Well, yeah, a few times when we used to do rest development back in the day, Tony Hale would make me laugh. He played Buster. He made us all laugh so much. When he get into character, when he kind of ramp up to Buster, like, you'd be talking to something, go, okay, guys, here we go. And we'd be, like, ready? And he'd go, like. Like this. And I'd. I'd keel over. So, yeah, some of the. Some of the big laughs with him,

[B]

it's the nearly touching his face, then not touching his face, all of that when he just, like, he's about to. And then stop. It's too much.

[C]

He. Tony Hill is brilliant, brilliant guy.

[A]

But every lovely guy, every character in that show was, like, wild and had something particularly funny about them. So that must have been a nightmare to try and get through stuff.

[C]

Yeah, it was. It was. A lot of it was quite insane.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

A lot of it's quite insane. Yeah. Crazy times, man.

[B]

We. We always have a secret ingredient on the show that if the. If the guest chooses it as part of their meal, they get kicked out of the restaurant. And sometimes we make it relevant to the guests and their past work. And with you, there was, like, we were spoiled for choice because the amount of food references there is in a lot of stuff you've done, but especially Arrested Development.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And your character in particular. Do you want to. Because we're at the dessert now. Do you want to, before we go into dessert, to have a little guess at what we might have chose for you that is relevant to your character?

[C]

And. Sorry, this. This particular item is a thing that would get me kicked out.

[A]

If it was on your menu, we'd kick you out of the podcast.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I would say that I'm asking you it now because it's too late for it to be on the menu.

[C]

Well, it can't be the mustard and parmesan, because that would be.

[A]

You brought it up. That would be unfair.

[C]

That would be. That would. That would be a low. That would be pretty low.

[B]

So low.

[C]

So it might be something with club sauce.

[B]

It's club sauce. Yeah.

[C]

Was it? Yeah.

[A]

Straight away.

[B]

Straight away. How's that feel to get it straight away? Pretty good, right? You felt pretty good.

[C]

I did feel decent about it. I mean, you know, I'm paying attention.

[B]

I could see you.

[C]

I got. I've got an excellent memory.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. For stuff that's revolves around me.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. For all of your own work.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And stuff that people have said.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I love to hold a grudge.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's your biggest grudge?

[C]

My biggest grudge.

[B]

I feel like we're about to hear the term Jason Bateman again.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, I really. I've been trying to undermine him. The fact that he's had so much success despite all the work I've put into to bat shit talk him.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That for me, that's rough.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's a tough pill to swallow.

[B]

Yeah. He's working with Jude Law now. That's got to be annoying for you.

[C]

Oh, he and Jude Law are best friends.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And they got this show that everybody loves because it's really good. Yeah. And he's really good at it, and he directed it really well. And everybody loves it and it's. And he's always does great stuff.

[A]

This will make you feel good, though. I watched it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I loved it.

[C]

That. That does make me feel good.

[B]

Misunderstanding more.

[C]

I almost barked up my. My dream meal. We're in the dessert.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Now. But this is a fun new thing we're doing on the podcast Ben and I are doing that we came up with telepathically. God. We made a connection. Is where you gotta guess. And I'm gonna be honest with you. And those guys in the other room, my whole team who came with me, all 12 of them, know what my dream dessert is.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay. And so I want you to just try to. And for realsies, too. Let's go. Let's go.

[A]

For realsies. So we're doing a guessing game.

[B]

So here's the thing.

[C]

Each of you guess what you think my. I know we might not have time for this, but what you think my dream dessert is.

[B]

Yeah. So going by. So already we've got the foie gras, the massive, perfectly cooked steak.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Sparkling water. So I think we're. We're looking in, like, pretty rich, fancy, no messing around territory.

[A]

Classics are classic for a reason.

[B]

For a reason. Let's remember that classic never goes out of style. I would almost go for, like, the perfect chocolate lava cake or something. I thought you might choose.

[A]

I think that's a great shout.

[C]

That's a very on. I will not send one back.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

If you brought it to the table at this meal, I'd say, fair enough.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I would eat it. And I'd be delighted with every morsel. Every bite. Okay.

[B]

But it's not that.

[C]

It's not first choice, but it's in there. It's up there.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You've not mentioned this dessert already.

[C]

I have not mentioned this dessert. I would. I would never do that.

[A]

No.

[B]

Either.

[A]

You would not do that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So.

[C]

And can I give you. Can I give you a hint? Is that okay?

[A]

You can, but it's, you know, it's as long as if I guess it right, there's not any protest from James saying, but he got a hint and I didn't.

[B]

I won't protest.

[C]

Yeah, well, I mean, we're not keeping score. The stakes are fairly low.

[A]

I keep score.

[B]

Well, the stakes are fairly bigger than.

[C]

Well, they're fairly. Medium rare.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it is fairly big, but it's also low from where you get it. From the cow.

[A]

Are you giving me a hint?

[C]

Classic, probably. Classic American classic. North American classic.

[A]

North.

[C]

Just to keep. Because I don't want you to be like, oh, creme brulee. I'm not doing that.

[A]

No, we're not. We're not souffle. We're not creme brulee. We're not.

[C]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

Okay. And I don't think. I think you would have reacted to chocolate in a different way if it was chocolatey.

[C]

It can't be. And it. And there is a chocolate element to it, for sure.

[A]

Ah, okay.

[C]

There is, but it's not the.

[A]

Because I was thinking.

[C]

But there is cobbler, but love. Again, look. I have such a sweet tooth.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Cob. In that area. In that general area, I'm going with, like, a. Like a cobbler. Fine.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't mind a cobbler. You can't tell by my shoes. But I also love.

[A]

If you're listening to this, you got to watch it.

[C]

Yeah. A lot of this is fai.

[A]

You're missing out on a lot.

[C]

Just. Just the winks alone.

[A]

Yeah. The wings, seeing the shoes. The shoes that were the joke.

[C]

The. The. I love making a visual joke on a podcast. It's the best. I love a cobbler. I love a pie, but I love, like, a. Like, an apple Brown Betty, they call it, like, it sort of like, almost like a mini. Like a cobbler that's got sort of like a. Like a brown sugar sort of crust with a sort of a pie y. Cobbler. And the inside with, like, a thick cream or a vanilla ice cream. Yes. That's not it. It is much more classically chocolatey dessert and classic. Been classic for a minute.

[A]

Brownie. A brownie situation.

[C]

Not a guess.

[A]

That's my guess.

[C]

That's my guess. Okay. Brownies.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I'll guess like a huge ice cream sundae.

[C]

Yes. Yes. Is the subsection. Yes. I'm gonna say I'll allow it in a way that is. Normally that's there on the mountain, but at the very peak of it. Yeah.

[A]

Banana split.

[C]

Do you guys. If you throw fruit into this dessert. I'm flipping. I'm flipping the table. Yeah. Yeah. You guys do Drum rolls.

[B]

Ben, do a drum roll.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

James is a drummer. He should do it. Really.

[B]

It's funny. If I get Ben to do it.

[A]

Yeah, that's true.

[B]

Quite good, actually.

[C]

Baked Alaska.

[A]

Oh, we sure got baked Alaska.

[B]

That is so in keeping with the whole menu. I feel an idiot for not getting it.

[C]

Yeah, no, don't. Don't. Don't blame yourself.

[B]

I am blaming myself.

[A]

Baked Alaska. And there's a chocolate element.

[C]

Yeah. To the baked Alaska.

[A]

Yeah. The ice cream is the ice cream.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

This is stunning.

[C]

Comes out flaming.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Right. They do the whole thing.

[B]

Like you with a cream corn. If it's on the menu, I've got to order it.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

Same with me.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I'll tell you a funny.

[B]

So.

[C]

Well, you'll decide. It's funny. Years ago, at a restaurant in California with my mom and dad up in sort of Montecito, north of Los Angeles. Place called the San Ysidro Ranch. Beautiful place. Really top, top, top, incredible restaurant there. Absolutely delicious meal. Every single time I've been there, there, just the three of us, my mom and dad and me, and we're. We're having dinner, and somehow the conversation. We're talking about dessert. And my dad says, oh, I love a baked Alaska. He says, you know this restaurant around the corner from where we grew up in Toronto, where he said this restaurant that he used to go. Go to all the time, called Browns on McFerson, shout out. If it's still there, it might still be open. Classic. My dad said one time he was at Brown's years ago, and he was talking about baked Alaska. At which point he sees the waiter. It wasn't on the menu. He sees the waiter come through with a baked Alaska and put it on the next table in front of the guy sitting at the next table. And he said to the waiter, you have baked Alaska? He goes, we do tonight. And he goes, I'll get one. He tells me this story. I go, oh, that's crazy. At which point, out the window. Cause we're sitting just inside, we see a guy serve the guy outside the window a baked Alaska.

[B]

Wow. Go.

[C]

Yes, please.

[A]

We said, you know, that's the universe talking.

[C]

The. The universe is saying, you're going to have a bake Alaska.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You've got to order it at that point.

[C]

You have to. Although one time, I ate at that very same restaurant with Don Johnson of, you know, Don Johnson fame.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And. And the waiter came up and he said, handed out dessert. He said, dessert? And Don said, no, that's character actor. Food. Brilliant. Brilliant character. He looks amazing. So I'm like, yeah, if Don Johnson's not eating dessert, I'm not.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So I had them. Obviously. I secretly went back and got in a bag and ate it in my car, tears streaming into my baked Alaska.

[A]

Baked Alaska is not car food, man.

[C]

It's not great car. It does not travel well. We talked about. We talked about showing up with the meal today.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I said, what if we just show up? So here's the deal. I thought for a minute that we were gonna eat this meal today. Right. I said that.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I thought, man, it would be so great. And the thing I was looking forward to the most was the baked Alaska. And that's how we got to. Well, we could have. We could have brought it.

[A]

But it's a very ambitious thing to think a podcast is gonna cook for you, I think.

[B]

The baked Alaska and the perfect steak.

[C]

Yeah, it is a lot.

[A]

Yeah. We would have loved to have done it for you, but, you know, we don't know the first about how to make it.

[C]

Do either of you cook?

[A]

I cook when I can.

[C]

You do.

[A]

It's not very often, but I like to cook. I enjoy it. I've never done it back to Alaska, though. It fit. I don't know how it works. The ice cream's cold, and then the thing's hot.

[C]

It takes a couple days because you gotta layer it. Yeah, yeah, that's what I know. I know. My grandmother used to make a really great ice cream dessert that took a few days that had, like, the. The base of it was a sort of this very particular, kind of specific, rather Canadian chocolate bar. And then you do one layer of ice cream, and then that needs to set for, like, a day, and then you do another layer. Had a bunch of different. It was incredible.

[A]

Yeah, that's good.

[B]

There's a restaurant in Leeds called Ox Club, which we've shouted out a few times on the podcast, and their dessert is pretty much always a different type of baked Alaska. And really, I'm doing a little, like, I'm going to Leeds soon. And they wanted to do a collab for 10 years of this restaurant being open or however long. It's definitely not 10 years, but, like. And we got a menu that's just like, my little special menu. And then it's dessert. It's the baked Alaska that I had the first time I went in there.

[C]

Really? Yeah.

[B]

I'm excited about this.

[C]

What's it called again?

[B]

Ox Club.

[C]

Ox Club in Leeds.

[B]

Leeds.

[A]

I don't Know how often you get up to Leeds?

[B]

Leeds in general is brilliant for food now is it your sport for choice there? Yeah. Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No, never been to Leeds.

[A]

It's a great city.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not all about London. Now in the uk, you know, there's some incredible restaurants all around the uk. Okay.

[C]

Yeah, I, I buy, I buy that.

[B]

So this is a chocolate baked Alaska, specifically chocolate ice cream. Well, I'm going to read your menu back to you now and see how you feel about it. Ben tells. This is the first time that it's going to be on this iPad here.

[C]

Oh, I see. Yeah. I was wondering how, I was wondering. I was like if. Is this a. Is this like Darren Brown part of this? And you guys had already written down my answers.

[A]

Yeah, it would have been lovely to, to do that and like, like confuse you and confound you. But James told you exactly what.

[C]

I'm just concerned with my own existence. I'd be so. Yeah.

[A]

And by the way, Ben takes photos on that iPad.

[B]

Yeah. And actually all it says on here is I have a cough. Can I have a refund? So, I don't know.

[C]

Really nice.

[B]

Both of them.

[C]

Really nice.

[B]

You would like sparkling water. You would like a little round warm loaf of pretzel bread. Bread with butter from. From. Well, Bonito's not written on the strip.

[A]

House.

[C]

Strip House. Good memory.

[B]

Starter foie gras with toast and fig jam. Yeah. Main course, thick cut bone in dry aged ribeye steak Pittsburgh style with au poivre, well done, side medium cut gold.

[A]

Not well done. Take that back.

[C]

No, sorry.

[B]

Medium rare side dish, medium cut golden brown French fries with creamy horseradish when you ask for it. Buttered green beans and creamed corn coming over the top. Drink. Now you did say Diet Coke or non alcoholic beer from Switzerland. I think we'll let you have both of those.

[C]

Thank you, man.

[B]

And dessert? Baked Alaska with chocolate ice cream.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

How do you feel hearing that back?

[C]

I feel really good. Look, there are a couple things that I do want to say.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

One thing that I didn't mention. There's an honorable mention that you could throw in there if you want to cleanse the palate between the foie gras and the steak. Is that I wouldn't be opposed to a butter lettuce salad, you know, with just like a light dressing, like a light sort of Italian dressing. That'd be nice. You know, I love a buttered lettuce. Quite refreshing. And I, I want to make a thing and I don't want to make. I don't want to get into any trouble here, but when it comes to the fries, I want to be clear. If you serve me what they call shoestring fries.

[A]

I was going to ask earlier.

[C]

We have a problem. Yeah, we have a. Those aren't fries a hole. Okay? What you're serving me is a bunch of bs. So if you run a place and you serve shoe string fries, nobody near you and around you has the guts to tell you that it's. Yeah, people are lying to you. Just know. And I'm saying this, I'm saying this as a favor to people who have establishments that serve shoestring fries. What I'm telling you is everybody around you is lying to you for some reason. You're either their employer or they feel insecure in their friendship with you, and so they're not telling you the truth, which is that everybody hates shoestring fries. And you're going to go, after listening to this podcast, you're going to go, that guy will learn how to. I've never heard of him before. He seems like a real a hole. And I don't. And so I'm going to go and ask those people in my life and say, is it true that you all hate Chew street fries? They're going to go, no, no, they're great. They do hate them. Yeah. And they're not telling you the truth because either you're a dick or they think that you can't handle the truth because you're a dummy.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's the truth. So you're getting the straight dope from me. And you can either choose you and you can continue on living this fantasy, or you can get real. And 86 are from the menu. And. And. And, you know, and. And really just get with the program. Get some real fries on that menu.

[A]

You like them, don't you?

[C]

This podcast.

[A]

I agree. They all stick together. You lift one up, the whole thing comes up like a big nest.

[C]

You're never satisfied. You can't have a satisfying bite.

[B]

Yeah, I don't like them. Really?

[A]

Well, say this menu might be one of the most sort of classically masculine feeling menus we've had in a long time.

[C]

Time.

[A]

It feels like you've ridden in on a horse.

[C]

Oh, is it?

[B]

Yeah, this is like. Yeah, you. You've really swung it around.

[C]

I can imagine. I. I can imagine that you get some people who come in especially. I'm thinking about people I know who have been on this, who come in and trying to, like, leave their mark, like, right Sort of like the. So hoping that you're going to go, wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We never would have thought of that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

How incredible. Oh, you must be so different. Right. Trying to impress you with their. With their.

[A]

Well, who are you thinking of? Because people that you know have been on this. Is there anyone particularly.

[C]

I'm not going to name people.

[A]

I think you should name people.

[C]

I can't name names. No. We live in dangerous times.

[B]

David Cross, he's been on this podcast. Definitely not that he remembers it.

[C]

David Crosses. But, yeah, I imagine David had some. Went out there and had some stuff. Really tried to take a swing, make his mark.

[A]

Mark.

[B]

Yeah, he did make his mark. He deliberately. He was trolling me deliberately on the podcast episode.

[C]

On this one.

[B]

Yeah. He knows I like desserts.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And he chose poutine as his starter. And then he chose poutine as his dessert to.

[A]

More Putin upset me.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

And it worked. He upset me a lot.

[C]

That is upsetting.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I do love poutine.

[B]

And then he got me later with that.

[A]

You're having a dessert and you're having pizza.

[C]

I'm having a dessert. Everything's. Everything's geared towards my dessert.

[B]

Poutine is your national dish.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, it is. Yeah.

[A]

What would you do if someone tried to serve you shoestring bouti?

[B]

Oh, my God, Ed. We were nearly home free and now this guy is about to flip his lid.

[C]

You. You just described to me a particular kind of hell that I don't wish on anybody.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, and I. I've seen some. I've seen some dark, you know, over and, you know, just in the stuff that I've done that I can't even talk about.

[A]

Yeah, you turn it soft, dude.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You tell us after about the dark.

[C]

I don't even know if I can. I gotta. I'm under. I'm under military NDAs. Yeah.

[A]

Well, it's sad to leave it on a dark note. And that's my fault. And that is my fault.

[B]

It's your fault, Ed. You did that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

We could have left it on a happy note.

[A]

But thank you so much for coming to the dream restaurant, Will. You've been a fantastic guest.

[C]

Oh, I'm. I'm. I'm. My imagination is stuffed.

[A]

So now where are you going to go for this meal?

[C]

There are a couple places that I have in mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I name them by.

[A]

Yeah, name them. Yeah.

[C]

I have one close to it. And. And. But I might go back. The Dover in Mayfair. Have you ever been there? It's open Late. Yeah, it's open like they're, they're really nice people over there. There's a great new restaurant and I've gone there a couple times because they. Not I've gone because it's good and it's open late.

[A]

Yes. Which is nice and rare for, for the uk.

[C]

And rare for the UK to be open late.

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[C]

It's a cool, cool little spot. So maybe I'll go there. I mean, to be fair, I'm here for one more night. So I also might go and have a curry tonight.

[B]

Yeah, lovely.

[C]

Yeah. I heard a really interesting story of why how Indian food became so popular in the uk, which had to do with. There was a dearth of restaurants that served kind of everybody. Like restaurants that were available for everybody and there had something to do with like available. There weren't a lot of. You think of a classic English middle class or working class restaurant. There wasn't one. When you think about it, it. And so these guys went around and figured out that you, you know, that this was something that was needed and they started putting out these Indian restaurants and, and, and you know, you know who told me this story and I'm it up is Johnny Vaughn. Do you remember Johnny Vaughn?

[B]

Yeah, Johnny Vaugh.

[C]

I saw him last night.

[B]

Ed works in the same building as Johnny Vaughn.

[A]

I do radio show on Radio Access. Oh, you do? Yeah.

[B]

And Ed's very familiar with Johnny Vaughan.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Johnny Vaughan's got stories. He's got stories for days, that guy.

[C]

He's got stories for days. Yeah.

[A]

And I mean days.

[C]

Yeah. He hijacked our Q and A last night.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I'm friends. Johnny and I are friends. And he, and he hijacked and I had to from the stage. I had to tell him to zip

[A]

it, which is hard to do.

[C]

He still didn't do it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And by the way, he didn't even have a microphone.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It was insane. God, I love him though.

[A]

Thank you so much, Will.

[C]

Guys, what a pleasure.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

I thought I would hate this.

[A]

Did you? You didn't come in with that energy. I thought he's up for this. Well, thank you, Will.

[B]

That's the most amount of times Ed's ever said thank you to a guest. We go on a new tangent each time.

[A]

I love it. Well, there we are, James. That was an absolute treat.

[B]

I thought we forgot Lego Batman.

[A]

We didn't say anything about Lego Batman.

[B]

I'm. I'm really gutted. As soon as he left, realized we

[A]

forgot Lego Batman and Ben saying he's forgot something.

[B]

Oh. Apparently Sam Campbell. So Ben Benito is telling us that Sam Campbell had a question for Will Arnett and Ben neglected to pass it on to even us. Okay. That's a question. So I'm glad that we didn't ask it. Sam wanted us to ask Will I not. When he's doing a voice for an animated film, does he look to. Does he like to look at the picture? A picture of the character? I imagine, yes. Either way. Because like, I think anyone when they do an animated film, they get shown that anyway.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Whether they want to do it or not.

[A]

I. I'm all up for Sam asking sort of weird questions in his way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I refuse to be the vessel for those questions and have to look.

[B]

That's such a boring question. It's not even weird. It's just boring.

[A]

It would be weird if he said it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's normal.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean. Yeah. When camp, when Sam Campbell says something that's like boring and normal, then it's weird now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I guess, you know, I'm no stranger to that.

[A]

Well, he didn't say Club Source, thank God. Because I was enjoying talking to him.

[B]

That was good. Yeah. I liked that he guessed it first time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

As well. That was. That was quite exciting for me. And we have a lot of guessing games on this podcast.

[A]

Well, he set up the guessing game with a dessert as well.

[B]

That was great. I was so glad. I was like, benito, can't tell us off for this one because it's. Well, our next idea.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A fantastic episode. I love his descriptions of food. I think a lot of people are going to be re. Listening to him describing some of those dishes.

[A]

What a way to kick off series 15, Jimmy.

[B]

Series 15. And lovely start to it. People can watch it on YouTube, of course.

[A]

Honestly, James, I love that episode. And what. What a glorious man.

[B]

It was brilliant. You know, I loved him referencing Benito. I loved him talking about going full bish. It was brilliant.

[A]

Don't forget the film Is this thing on? Is out on the 30th of January that features will. I know, go half Bish.

[B]

Half bish. Not full Bish, but if we get a petition going. Yeah, A permission going.

[A]

No, we'll leave it in though.

[B]

A bish patish.

[A]

A bish patish.

[B]

If we get a bish patish going for Will to go full bish in a sequel or a spin off.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think maybe Will would do it.

[A]

Yes. If you're listening from America, which you might be because because, you know, we had a very famous Canadian guest on who is obviously very famous in America. Maybe you've tuned in for the first time. I'm doing my stand up tour in the U.S. potentially Canada. I don't know at this point. So you have to edit around that. But go on to edgamble.co.uk for tickets. I'm there in February.

[B]

I'll be there in February. Just before Ed, we worked out with Ships in the Night. Ships in the Night, but end of January to beginning of February. But then, I don't know. That's now, isn't it? That's when this is going out now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So if you're listening to this, I'm in America. Yeah, if you listen to it when it goes out.

[A]

But for now, we'll see you next week for episode two of series 15 of Off Venue.

[B]

What a. What a series.

[A]

Goodbye.

[B]

Goodbye.

[C]

Hey, I'm Alison Spittle.

[B]

And I'm Fern Brady. And you might remember us both from

[C]

our episodes of Off Menu. I think in my episode I got

[B]

very angry when I ordered toast in a restaurant and was presented with hot bread and then told that that was the nature of sourdough, that it simply doesn't toast as a bread.

[C]

And I said that I take it in the hand and the mouth like communion. Did you? I did.

[B]

That kind of brings us on to the topic of our new podcast, Ignore that Feeling, a show by two ex Catholic girls who have never learned to

[C]

acknowledge a single emotion, ever.

[B]

And the podcast is out every Tuesday starting Tuesday 10th February.

[A]

So please listen and subscribe.