← Office Hours with Arthur Brooks
Loading summary
Transcript11 lines
- [00:01]
A
Just the tips.
- [00:02]
B
Just the tips.
- [00:03]
A
Stops those split ends. Lickety split. Look at those ends. They are amending.
- [00:09]
B
Now that's what I call a happy ending.
- [00:12]
A
Red kid, ABC hair. Bandage ball.
- [00:15]
B
You figure out the meaning of your life by residing in the right hemisphere of your brain, where big why questions are asked. The main problem is that we're not getting to the meaning of our lives because we're doing trivial nonsense and sitting in the wrong part of our brains. Who cares? Why does it matter? Wouldn't it be better just to go through life as Friedrich Nietzsche further suggested that there is no why to life. There is no essence to all this stuff. So all you've got is existence. So make the most of it. Is this just a dumb conceit and exercise in futility? The answer to that is absolutely not. There's a lot that you can simulate. There's a lot that you can fake. There's a lot of experiences that in the computer world they say passes the Turing test. You can fool your brain, but the one thing you can't simulate is the meaning of your life. Hey, friends. Welcome to Office Hours. I'm Arthur Brooks. If you're a longtime listener. Well, not that long, because this is. The show hasn't been around for that long. But if you've been here from the very beginning, you know the mission of this show. This. This is a behavioral science program dedicated to lifting people up and bringing them together in bonds of happiness and love, using science and ideas. That's my mission in life. I want to share with you, and I want you to share it with others if you find this show useful. I've been talking over the past couple of weeks about my new book, the Meaning of youf Life Today, when this show comes out on the 30th of March, 2026, that's a Monday. If you're listening to it on the first day. The book drops tomorrow, Tuesday, March 31st, please go to the website themeaningofyourlife.com that's right here. It's displayed somewhere on the screen around me right now. You can figure out what's going on in the book, where I'm speaking, how you can get a copy of the book, how you can get involved in the community, all the different ways that you can understand better the meaning of your life and how you can bring it to other people. It's the book version of the show. You might say, I hope you enjoy it. I wrote it for you. If you do like it, please do share it with others and share the show with others as well and, and give me your thoughts about this show. Go to the to the website and give us some feedback. Write to us@officehoursotharbrooks.com or write any place where you're watching or listening to this on YouTube or Spotify or Apple podcasts or wherever you like to put comments. We look at all the comments. We read them all. Critical, happy, unhappy, whatever they happen to be, because we want to know your feedback. That's how we make it better. If you like the show, please do like and subscribe and suggest it to a friend. That's how we get this material to a lot of other people. Now this is the third show in a three part series. I want to go back a little bit and talk about the book and what the meaning of life actually means. And then I want to get today to the problem when you can't find the meaning of your life. So that's where we are today. Let me start with two weeks ago, the first in this three part series in the trilogy of meaning, you might say. And that was a show that I did on boredom. Here's the motivation for that. Human beings are incredible at solving problems. This is a great thing. This is the Homo sapiens advantage. As a matter of fact, this unbelievable prefrontal cortex that we have 30% of our brain by weight and it's only been in its extant form for about 250,000 years, since the late Pleistocene period. That's when human beings became capable of solving complex problems by by looking into the future, practicing things that hadn't happened. By looking into the past and learning from mistakes, we could really time travel. We had this consciousness of ourselves. So not only could I look out and observe things around me, I could look inward and see how other people see me. These are unbelievable cognitive abilities beyond any computer, what it could possibly do. And it made it possible for us to be an unbelievably successful species. We're a problem solving species and ordinarily that's great, but not always. Sometimes we solve annoyances and create major crises. A case in point is boredom, which I talked about two weeks ago on the show. We solved boredom. We basically did. With our human ingenuity, we figured out a way to not actually be in a state of boredom, which we don't like because, well, it's kind of boring, isn't it? I told you about experiments that show how much we hate boredom. Experiments by my colleague Dan Gilbert, where people get shocked or they're able to give themselves shocks as opposed to just sitting quietly in a room. Ordinarily, they. They prefer pain to boredom, as a matter of fact. And so we found the perfect pain device to keep us not bored, which is also known as the device in your pocket, your phone, your. Your access to the Internet and social media and email and texts, which you look at all day long, which the average person looks at 205 times a day so that you won't be bored. What I talked about two weeks ago on the show is that in eliminating boredom, we eliminated a minor annoyance and created a huge crisis. That crisis was avoiding the meaning of our life. Why? Well, as I told you, that shuts off a series of structures in the brain that are on when we're bored, that we also need to assess mind wandering, abstract thinking, and the concept of meaning. You need to be bored more. That was part one. Part two was where I dug into what is meaning? What are we looking for when we want the meaning of life? Are we going to solve the problem of getting the meaning of life? We need to define it. That was about sort of the meaning of meaning. And I defined meaning in terms of three principles of coherence, purpose, and significance. Coherence is the answer to the why question. The mysterious why question. Why do things happen the way they do? Purpose is the why question. Why am I doing what I'm doing? And significance is the why question. Why does my life matter? The big three whys. When you answer those questions, you've come to an understanding of the meaning of your life. Now, that requires a special use of your brain, which I suggested a minute ago on boredom. And to be more specific about it, in this last episode, which was last week, I introduced you to the work of the great neuroscientist and philosopher at Oxford University, Ian McGilchrist, a brilliant man, a scientist of the highest caliber, who talks about hemispheric lateralization. The fact that your brain has two hemispheres, has two sides, and they do different things. Specifically, the left side of your brain is technology and engineering and solving problems and how to and what, all the stuff you do all day. Whereas the right hemisphere is the why hemisphere, the mystery and the meaning. You figure out the meaning of your life by residing in the right hemisphere of your brain, where big why questions are asked. Now you know already the problem, which is that we're foreclosing activity in the right hemisphere of our brains because we're using our brains wrong in the modern world where we've wiped out boredom. And that's how it all comes together. The main problem is that we're not getting to the meaning of our lives because we're doing trivial nonsense and sitting in the wrong part of our brains. That was episode one and episode two. Now episode three, right before the book comes out. Who cares? Why does it matter? Wouldn't it be better just to go through life as Friedrich Nietzsche sort of suggested that let's just suck it up, man. There is no why to life. There is no essence to all this stuff. So all you've got is existence. So make the most of it, have a good laugh and live your life. Stop trying to find meaning in the first place. Is this just a dumb conceit, an exercise in futility? The answer to that is absolutely not. And what I want to do today is to show you why you should want to find the meaning of your life, why I wrote this book in the first place, what you can get if you read this book and if you share these ideas with other people today, the importance of finding the meaning of your life. Now let me back up a little bit about how my quest for understanding the answers to these questions started. And it really starts at the big picture level at my natural vocational home. I'm an academic. In my heart, I'm an academic. I was born to be an academic. I was running around a university campus when I was a baby. My dad was a college professor. That's all he did from the age of 25 when he got his master's degree and started teaching at a college all the way through to, through his PhD and his whole life. As a matter of fact, he literally never had any other jobs except during the summers when I was little, college professors didn't make very much money. And so my dad during those days, you know, he drove a bus for the city to make ends meet. But he was fundamentally an academic. Now why was he an academic? Because his dad was an academic. Seeing a pattern here, right? I had told myself I wasn't going to do it. I tried not to do it, but I got sucked in. All the way through my 20s, I was a musician. As a matter of fact, I didn't go to college until my late twenties. Some of you heard me tell that story. I won't bother you with it. But by the time I went to college and graduated the month before my 30th birthday, yeah, I'm going to do that too. It's the best life I'm made to be on campuses. And I finished my PhD at 34 and became a full time academic myself when I Got my first professorship. It was as good as I thought it was going to be. There aren't that many things that live up to the expectations, are there? The pyramids in Giza lives up to your expectations. The. The glaciers in. In Alaska, that lives up to it. Venice, that lives up to your expectations. And academia. The academic life really is great. I mean, not for everybody, obviously, but for me. I mean, the teaching, the students, the research, the curiosity, it's so great. I've always loved it, and I loved it for the very first time. When I first took my first assistant professorship at Georgia State University after finishing my PhD in 1998, I was cranking out research papers. I was teaching big classes full of students, getting better at my teaching. It was beautiful. And one of the main things I liked about it was the culture among the students. They were happy. I like being around happy people. And people in college and graduate school were traditionally, according to the data, but according to probably your experience, too. If you're anything like my age, that was the happiest time of life. That's when you made your friends. That's when you were falling in love. That's when you were hearing big new ideas that were blowing your mind, sometimes scary, controversial things, and where you could have experiences of those ideas without being all freaked out. Yeah, it was great. That's what it always was. I went from Georgia State to Syracuse University. I loved it at Syracuse. And you're thinking, yeah, it's probably because of the weather, right? Yeah. No, it was the people, it was the students, it was my colleagues. It was the happiness, it was the culture. Well, along the way, I decided to make a little career change. I've made a lot of career changes. I went from French horn player to social scientist. That's a big one. But I made another big one in 2008, when I was 44. I left academia to be a CEO to be the chief executive of a great big nonprofit think tank in Washington, D.C. called the American Enterprise Institute. That was a completely consuming job. That was the hardest job I ever had by far. As a matter of fact, it was exhausting. It had a high learning curve, and I did there for almost 11 years. Now, that was so consuming that I wasn't paying any attention to university life. But I vowed to do it for 10 years. I did it for actually exactly 10 years and six months. I lived up to how long I said I was going to do it, and I got out. When I said I was going to leave now, I thought about, what do I want to do when I'm done with that. And I couldn't get it out of my head. I had to go back to my home. I had to get back on campus. That's. That's where I need to be. And Esther, my wife, she's like, yeah, you got to go back on campus. That's where your heart is. So I did. You know, about six months before I left, I got a few offers. I got offers from about 10 universities to go back and to be a professor. And I took the one that I liked the most, which was at Harvard University in Cambridge, Mass. They offered the ability for me to actually teach more or less what I wanted, and a lot of freedom to get back into my research, et cetera. And I thought, yeah, getting back to my happy place. My happy place. And I went back to academia in 2019, and it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same thing that I had left at the end of 2008. It had. It had darkened. It wasn't just Harvard. It was academia in general. What had been statistically happier, brighter than the rest of the country had become darker. As a matter of fact, you found that students on university campuses, they were more likely to be suffering depression, way more likely than they had in years past. Since 2008, the rates of clinical depression among college students had tripled. Through about 2019, generalized anxiety had almost doubled. As a matter of fact, this was a psychogenic epidemic, which is a fancy way that behavioral scientists like me talk about a source of real misery that doesn't have an apparent biological origin. Psychogenic epidemic. But when I get back to academia in 2019, of course I see this, and I'm shocked. Sad wasn't right. But of course, I'm also interested. I'm a social entrepreneur at heart. When I see tragedy and trouble, I also see opportunity. There's an opportunity to do good. I'm, as a behavioral scientist, dedicated to, well, you know, lifting people up and bringing them together and bonds of happiness and love. Now's the time, I thought. But I got to figure out what's wrong. What's going wrong? You already know, because I hope you've listened to the last two episodes. What's going wrong is that starting about the time I left academia in 2008, we solved boredom. That's when smartphones started to proliferate. 2007 was when the first iPhone was delivered. 2008, it was in almost everybody's pocket. By 2009, 2010, 2011, the apps were on every phone. Dating apps were about 2012. And on and on it went. Life became completely online is what it came down to. And not just online. Online chased people around. It was sitting in their back pockets all the time. And that got rid of boredom, which changed our brains. We were not using our brains. The mysterious, the right hemisphere of love and meaning. We weren't in the right space to actually do that. That's the last two episodes that I mentioned before. So who cares? Why does it matter? And the answer is that's actually why we had the mental health crisis on campuses and not just on campuses. Disproportionately among people under 30. Was this meaninglessness what I found? When I came back to academia in 2019, I started looking at the data is the best predictor I could find of clinical depression. Generalized anxiety was the end answer. Yes to the question does your life feel meaningless? In fact, I'll put the link to this in the show notes. There's data, excellent data that's been collected for a long time by the polling firm monitoring the future that asks does your life feel meaningless? That was an odd question without very interesting answers. For the longest time it kind of bumped along between, I don't know, 5 and 15% of the population until 2008 when suddenly it started taking a dog leg upward. Now I'm not saying that people felt meaningless about their lives because I left academia. Obviously it was because of the proliferation of the anti boredom devices of the devices that took meaning away. And when meaning goes, depression comes. Here's the reason we should be thinking about the meaning of life. If you go back to an earlier episode, I'll make sure this is linked to it right here. Happiness. Happiness in life equals enjoyment plus satisfaction plus meaning. If meaning becomes devoid, happiness becomes unavailable. That's why we have the misery crisis. That's why we have the psychogenic epidemic. Look, I, I, I've, I've seen the data. There's no problem with enjoyment. Young people arguably enjoy life more than any other cohort. They're getting that right in a lot of ways. Satisfaction on my campus is super high. Satisfaction is the joy of an accomplishment with struggle. That's what they're doing all day long at Harvard University is accomplishing things with a tremendous struggle because it's a sacrifice what they're doing with this hard education at this fine institution and many other walks of life and schools around the country. The problem is that when you look at the data, it is obvious and clear that meaning has imploded. And that's what's leading to the unhappiness epidemic in America today. That's why it matters.
- [17:11]
C
Eczema is unpredictable, but you can flare less with epglis, a once monthly treatment for moderate to severe eczema after an initial four month or longer dosing phase. About four in ten people taking EBGLIS achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin at 16 weeks. And most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear at one year with monthly dosing.
- [17:31]
D
Hemglus Lebricizumab LBKZ a 250mg per 2ml injection is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis, that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. EBGLIS can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to ebglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have New Orleans worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Eglis. Before starting Ebglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection.
- [18:04]
C
Ask your doctor about eglis and visit eglis.lilly.com or call 1-800-lilyrx or 1-800-545-5979.
- [18:12]
B
I care about love and happiness. I want more human flourishing. So I need more meaning. Okay? So once I find this to my satisfaction, you know, this is before I started this book, by the way. I wasn't quite there yet. I needed to hear the stories that people would tell. Back in the old days, social scientists used to do their research in the following way. Adam Smith, who wrote the wealth of nations in 1776, that was this treatise based on data about how market economies worked. It's kind of the early bible of capitalism, as a matter of fact. But it wasn't just a bunch of statistical correlations that he was putting together. No. Adam Smith said, you know, when this happens, this happens, et cetera, et cetera. He was collecting data in his way. More importantly, though, he was talking to people because that's what social scientists do. They're supposed to focus on the social part. So he would walk factory floors, talk to workers. He has a long section of the wealth of nations on the pin factory. How, you know, you make little pins like sewing Pins, and you roll out the wire and you cut it. You flatten one side, et cetera. He talked about how workers that were in a pin factory, how they were actually doing their work and. And talking to them about how they were living their lives. That's the richness in social science. And that's important that we not get away from that by just doing experiments and regression analyses. So that's what I do, too. Once I see statistical patterns, then I start talking to people to understand in real life what these patterns mean. And when I did, well, then I really started to understand this psychogenic epidemic. And I realized why I needed to write this book and why I need to be a warrior in the cause for meaning. I did a whole bunch of case studies. Right now, you're like Neo in the Matrix. You can keep scrolling, experiencing a simulation of life, or you can wake up to how your attention is being harvested for profit. It's happening to people all over the world right now. You don't want to be productized like this anymore. But it's hard. Tech addiction is so potent because it's been designed to tap into your dopamine system. Just like heroin, porn, gambling, you've got the cravings. You're addicted. You don't like it, and I don't either. But I can't just tell you to stop doing it. That's hard. If you want to break free from the system, you need an incentive. Well, here's one. Why don't you join a phone company that pays you not to use your phone? If you want to reduce brain rot, get Noble Mobile. It pays you to use less data. It gives you an incentive to unplug. Noble Mobile is the phone plan that finally aligns incentives with what's good for you. Use less data, earn money back. And when you do, you'll be living once again in real life. And you're gonna like how it feels. What I wanna do now is I just wanna tell you three stories, three stories of real people that I talk to. And these are stories in their own words. Now, rather than summarizing these things, I'm just gonna read it. This is from the introduction to the book. Okay, so I'm gonna read a short section of the book. If you got the audiobook, this should be pretty much the same, but only for a couple of minutes. Don't worry, I'm not going to read you the whole book. But these stories are going to sum up why this is a very important issue. As far as I'm concerned, story number one, is called the garbage disposal. Mark, age 32, is exactly what you would conjure up in your mind if I asked you to. Imagine a textbook driver. He's college educated, hardworking, and healthy. He's a bootstraps guy. His parents broke up when he was young, and they never had much money. But Mark avoided trouble, went to college unlike most of the people he grew up with, and landed an excellent job as a data analyst. Mark is a gym rat and in great physical shape. If you were writing an advice column for men on how to succeed in life, Mark would pretty much be the poster child for what you would recommend. But when we spoke and he told me all this, something sounded off as he described the situation on paper, a list of carefully managed accomplishments. His voice was hollow, as though he was describing a scenario he didn't really believe. I pressed him to go deeper. He paused. And then he said this. My life feels empty. I asked him what he was missing. He thought for a minute, and then he told me a story. A year or so ago, he was on a first date with a woman he'd met on one of the dating apps. Over dinner, she mentioned to him in passing that her garbage disposal was clogged and she didn't know what to do about it. He volunteered to help her with it and ended up fixing it for her that very evening. He said that this gave him a deep sense of satisfaction and purpose. Later, at his own apartment, he remembered that his own garbage disposal was clogged up as well. The fix was easy, but he had just never got around to doing anything about it. A year later, he still hasn't. Now, maybe that sounds like a random anecdote, but I understood that he was expressing something profound. Mark wasn't saying that he felt some sort of existential need to become a handyman. What he craved was the sense of purpose and significance that came from being needed by someone. The garbage disposal date never went anywhere, unfortunately. Nor had any of his dates in years. He told me the only way to meet women he felt was on a dating app. By his own count, he'd gone on 50 first dates. But the connections always felt fake. He never felt any authenticity with people he met that way. So he'd given up on the idea that his soulmate was somewhere online. Maybe he feared his soulmate simply doesn't exist. His friendships haven't fared much better. During the lonely coronavirus lockdowns, he moved to a new city he'd never been to, hoping to meet new people. He didn't. At least not Real humans in three dimensions. His job went fully remote and never came back in person. His work colleagues were, and still are two dimensional avatars on a zoom screen. He only established a few social relationships in the new city and now rarely sees anyone. More than once a week, he feels stuck on the outside of life, viewing the world through a double pane window to pass his overabundant free time. Mark, like almost everyone these days, is online a lot, scrolling social media, watching videos to simulate a social life. He spends hours listening to podcasts of other people having interesting conversations, but it leaves him feeling empty. He calls it social pornography, but like all digital distraction, it's hard to avoid without something better to do. And most of the time there's nothing better to do. He craves a big meaningful project, building something, writing something, and dreams of finding that project and immersing himself in it. But he can't come up with any ideas for what that project might be, so it's back online. Occasionally he panics. Is this it? Forever? Will I die alone? Will I ever find what I'm looking for? But then the fear subsides and he falls back into the zooming, scrolling and isolation. And the months click by. Story number two. Just stay busy. Maria's parents are probably bragging about her to the neighbors right now. Their 27 year old daughter has always been a bright light. Top grades in school, never in trouble. She was always a leader and ambitious, completing a bachelor's and master's in mechanical engineering, joining the military, and rising fast as an officer in the cyber and information sciences. She holds multiple associations in prestigious academic societies and think tanks. On the personal side, however, things aren't going well for Maria. Her extraordinary energy, the envy of others, isn't just her way to succeed, but also to distract herself. The hustle diverts her attention from an intense sense of emptiness that grows every year. She appears hyperfocused, a woman on a mission. But she confesses privately that her life has no coherence. She has no idea where she's going, nor what she even wants. She hopes that through her work, a sense of purpose will emerge, but it never does. She feels no passion for it, no calling, no sense of vocation. When we speak, I ask her what big change she would like to see in her life in a year's time. She pauses for a long time and fails to come up with a definite answer. Big questions like this make her feel afraid, she says, so she avoids them by staying busy. What if I never find the answers, she asks me. Or if there are no answers. What about her relationships? Maria has a boyfriend, but she doesn't know where that relationship is going. It's just okay for now. She's an extrovert and has friends, but she says they're more deal friends than real friends. She rarely goes deep with anyone in her circle. She's not very close to her parents or siblings. Although she in theory is a religious believer, she doesn't practice her faith at all. I ask why not. She doesn't know. When she's too tired to work, Maria tells me that she would like to read books or do something productive and creative, but somehow doesn't know how to get started. Instead, she finds herself simply on her phone, scrolling social media and watching YouTube, sometimes for hours at a time. This fills her with guilt for wasting time, but it keeps her mind off something she knows she's missing but can't quite name. And finally, story number three. A long hike to Somewhere Mark and Maria are among the typical high performing adults I've met in my teaching and travels over the past seven years. Their lives look enviable from the outside, but they feel empty on the inside. They're waiting for their purpose to find them, but it never does. As they wait, they distract themselves with work and soothe themselves with tech. I feel a paternal concern for Mark and Maria. After all, I'm old enough to be their father. Paul, however, is closer to a peer. He could be a younger sibling to me, in fact, and because of that, his story leaves me more shaken than the others. At 47, Paul would appear to have everything figured out. He's smart and friendly. He's married with three kids and has a successful career as a social scientist at a top university. Before I met him, I knew about him. I admired his work. But scratch the surface and a darker narrative emerges. Paul's parents divorced when he was very young, and he grew up in poverty without much adult attention. A clever kid, he quickly figured out that adults gave him the approval he craved when he excelled in school. Love, he figured out, is earned through achievements. So all of his sense of purpose came from getting good grades, good test scores, the next gold star in his words. And to maintain that sense of purpose, he essentially never left school, winding up as a professor ten years ago. Paul was ambitious and full of passion for ideas, writing a series of books in his academic field. They weren't bestsellers. They were too specialized and academically rigorous, but he was proud of them, and he told himself the right people were reading them. The recognition he got for these books was his Grown up gold stars. But their luster faded over the decade as his career progress slowed. Each new book began to feel like the one before, and they all began to seem pointless in his words and wrote. Today, he feels like his research has little impact, that it makes no difference to the world, and wins little recognition from other scholars. He is way behind schedule on a major writing project, but doesn't have the motivation to work on it. His sense of purpose and direction or fading away. It's not as if Paul has no time to work. The problem is how he spends the time he has. It's as if something is eating his brain so that he can't focus. An hour that he would have once used to read a research paper he now uses to anesthetize himself. Looking at social media to block the growing ennui. This distracts him from his melancholy, but like Maria, he feels enormous remorse for wasting his time with the eloquence of Franz Kafka. He's a thinker and writer, after all. Paul sums up his absurd feeling predicament. Life is like a factory, churning out days of my existence, indifferently prepackaged for my mandatory consumption. So what do you want? I ask him. He pauses, struggling to find the words. I want to go hiking, he says at last. For a long time, I asked him where he wants to go hiking. Paul's answer might be literal or it might be metaphorical. I can't tell to where I might find what I'm looking for. So what's happening here in these stories? What's happening to these people? I think you know what's missing in their lives. They identified it in all the words that they said. There are many, many stories like this in the book. And one of the things that they all have in common is they talk about not knowing what they're meant to do, that life feels meaningless, or they can't find the meaning, that there's an emptiness, a hollowness to everything they're doing. Some of them talk about the fact that they feel like they should be doing something, but that what they do feels fake, that all their time online behind the screen, it all feels like a simulation of real life. Well, that's what it feels like when you're using your brain wrong, when you're in the wrong hemisphere. As I talked about in last week's episode, there's a lot that you can simulate. There's a lot that you can fake. There's a lot of experiences that, well, in the computer world they say passes the Turing test. You can fool your brain, but the one thing you can't simulate is the meaning of your life. That's an in real life thing. That's why this matters. Is this you? Can you relate to these stories? Can you relate to the sense of emptiness? Funny, you know, people in times before we over technologized and over complicated our lives, their lives were actually pretty boring from moment to moment. I mentioned the other day, you know your great grandfather of mine, Leroy Brooks, born in 1862, who never came home to his wife and said, I had to leave early today honey, because I had a panic attack behind the mule today. No, his brain was working the way it was supposed to. And by the way, he was bored a lot. But here's the irony, his life wasn't boring at the end of the day. At the meta level, there was nothing fake about his life at all. That yours. You're probably never bored moment to moment. But I bet you when you check your phone 205 times a day, once every 13 minutes or more, that you feel pretty bored at the end of the day that you feel like what you accomplished wasn't real. See, when our brain works the way it's supposed to, we have moments of boredom and suffering and discomfort. But it comes together to something really meaningful when we get rid of all of those experiences. Because what we've done to solve our little problems, those little problems do go away and they turn into a great big problem. But ironically is much worse than anything we experienced before. This book is a guidebook on how to solve that. Now fundamentally, I've been talking about the problems in the last three episodes, but this book, 2/3 of it, is a six part strategic plan for you in six months to find the meaning of your life. This is all based on science. It's all based on the cutting edge ways which aren't cutting edge at all. They're living alive in real life. To get to the right hemisphere of your brain where mystery and meaning can be found. The problems that can't be solved analytically, that can only be lived and understood in a spirit of love. But you have to know how to do it. And you have to make a commitment to doing that. And that's what this really all about. Here are the six parts and I'll get into it more deeply in future episodes. You want to get the details. Read the book tomorrow and you'll see. These are the six protocols for finding meaning. The six ways to get to the right hemisphere of your brain. Number one. Number one is to ask big unanswerable questions. One of the things that all philosophical traditions have in common, almost every religious tradition has in common, because philosophy and religion are right hemisphere disciplines. What they have in common is big questions you can't quite answer. I've mentioned in the podcast before koans, which are the riddles that they use in Japanese Zen Buddhism to teach novice monks. What's the sound of one hand clapping? That kind of thing. When you contemplate questions that don't have answers, it opens up your brain. Now that was standard fare for dorm room conversations late at night when people who are my age were in college. But of course, what do you do when you come home from a party at 11:30pm in college today? You probably scroll your phone, which of course has eliminated the conversations that we need to have. Number one, is ask deeper questions. The most human thing, by the way, you know, the one thing that no non human animal has never done is ask questions. That's the essence of what it means to be fully human. Not to answer questions like an AI, but to ask the big questions that an AI could never come up with. Number two is fall in love is to risk your heart. That is the most dangerous feeling. Uncertain, complex experience is romantic love. I've done a whole episode on that, a very popular episode about the neurochemical cascade that happens inside your brain, the 4th of July, inside your cranium when you're falling in love. The things you can't explain. And in fact, the ancient philosophers often talked about the fact that the meaning of life generally starts from the experience of romantic love. That's Plato's ladder of love from Diotima of Mantinea. I've talked about that in the episode on romantic love as well. You start with romantic love and you climb the ladder and you ultimately find the meaning of life. Give your heart away is part two. Part three is to seek transcendence. Now transcendence means to get above yourself. The great irony of life is that we're impelled to be intensely autofocused. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. You'll never find the meaning of your life by looking at yourself. You'll only find the meaning of your life by zooming out on yourself and standing in awe of something greater. The two parts of transcendence are looking up to the divine and looking out to love and serve others. That's part three. Part four is finding your calling, your calling in life. What are you supposed to do? Now, whether that's market work or non market work, there is something generative where you create value in the world, value in your life and with your life, and value in the lives of other people. That's your calling. What is a calling? What do they all have in common? I don't care if you work for the post office or teach university or trying to become the President of the United States. The only way it will bring joy meaning is if you believe you're earning your success and you're serving other people. Talk a lot about that in great details about how to do that in the book. The Next part, part 5 is to seek beauty. Beauty is a right brain experience. And beauty is exactly what's missing. When everything is a simulation, you can't simulate true beauty. I defy you to look into the highest quality computer screen and find something that is as beautiful as the actual forest of which the picture has been taken and transmitted to your screen. Can't do it. I defy you to take a digital representation of any music and have it be as beautiful as what you would hear in person. The experience of a painting that you're seeing. Artistic beauty, natural beauty, moral beauty. I defy you to find the examples of moral beauty you can find in real life with true people. If you go on social media, you won't find it. On the contrary, you find the opposite of moral beauty. You need more beauty in your life to make your brain work properly. And last but not least, and this is a, this is a future episode, I'm gonna have to do a whole episode on that. And that's the hard one, which is suffering. Never waste your suffering. The truth of the matter is that growth, that learning, that understanding who you are as a person and finding the meaning of your life requires non trivial amount of suffering in your life and learning from it as opposed to resisting it. There's a lot of research that shows that unhappiness is largely a right hemispheric experience. Not coincidentally, the same hemisphere that you employ to find the meaning of your life. I will talk about how the greatest minds, the philosophers and the theologians have talked about suffering as a pathway to meaning and make it that way in your life as well. But just remember this, the key to understanding suffering in life is not to eradicate yourself of pain, but rather to learn how to manage your resistance to that pain. Then more meaning can be yours through the inevitable suffering that is part of any good life. You'll get more of that, obviously. I mean, I just gave you a quick synopsis. That was a thumbnail sketch. Two thirds of the book are those six areas and I give you real protocols and real ideas, real habits that you can adopt. I'm a practical man, after all. The idea of doing this kind of social science is to give you information that you can actually use. And you will find it in the book. And I hope you use it. I hope you pass it on. I hope you find meaning. People see it in you and they want to find the meaning of their life as well. Because if we do that well, the world really starts to change. Thank you for supporting this project. Thank you for sharing the ideas with others. If you like this podcast, please let me know your thoughts. Actually critically or uncritically, praise or criticism. I like it all. Send it to us@officehousthurbrooks.com Please like and subscribe on Spotify, YouTube and Apple and leave a comment. As I said before, I'll read it. Even if it's negative. Especially if it's negative. Thank you for taking time to feedback. If you've got any suggestions for new topics or what we can do on the show, or you have any questions about any of the sources, or you think there's something I need to correct, just let me know. Follow me on On Social Media we have a big and growing group on social media that that are following these ideas on Instagram, LinkedIn and other platforms and and order the Meaning of youf Life Finding Purpose in the Age of Emptiness Right back there. Get it for somebody that you love and I hope you enjoy the book. Go to the website the meaning of your life.com to get started and as always, thanks for watching.
- [41:19]
E
Two Good and Co Coffee Creamers are made with farm fresh cream, real milk and contain 3 grams of sugar per serving. That's 40% less than the 5 grams per serving in leading traditional coffee creamers for a rich, delicious experience. Whether you enjoy your coffee hot, cold, bold or frothy, two Good Coffee Creamers make every sip a good one two Good Coffee Creamers Real goodness in every sip. Find them at your local Kroger in the creamer aisle.