Michael Scott: The Candy Bag Alts

Summary

Office Ladies Podcast Summary

Episode: Michael Scott: The Candy Bag Alts
Hosts: Jenna Fischer & Angela Kinsey
Date: July 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode is a deep dive into one of the most beloved inside jokes from The Office: the “Candy Bag Alts,” focusing especially on Michael Scott. Jenna and Angela share alternate lines written for classic scenes, offer behind-the-scenes details, and unpack the role of the editors in shaping the show’s signature style. They also read fan letters, answer listener questions, and close with their trademark BFF banter.

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Key Segments & Insights

1. What are “Candy Bag Alts”?

[03:15–06:00]

• Summary:
  Jenna and Angela explain that "Candy Bag Alts" were collections of alternate jokes or lines written for the actors—essentially “a bag of candy” full of extra funnies. Writers would provide multiple versions of lines for cast members to try, sometimes several pages per scene.

• Quote:
  Angela: “Greg was worried that we would get grumpy about having to learn all these extra lines. So he came up with this sort of phrase called candy bag. Because, basically, who's ever sad about getting a bag of candy?” [03:37]

• Fan Letters:
  Listeners Marcus R. and Sarah P. express love for the candy bags and delight at the alternate versions of classic talking heads.

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2. Enneagram Personalities: Jenna & Angela Take the Test

[05:39–11:21]

• Summary:
  Responding to a listener question, Jenna and Angela take the Enneagram personality test. Jenna is a Type 1 (The Reformer) and Angela tests as Type 2 (The Helper), with Angela also high on the Challenger scale.

• Quotes:
  Jenna: “I am number one. I am a type one.” [07:58]
  Angela: “My 95% category is type 2, the helper… I focus on generosity, the need to be needed.” [08:15]

• Tone:
  Playful and self-deprecating; they both admit the tests are imperfect but amusing.

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3. Production Secrets: How Editors Assemble Episodes

[15:19–17:11]

• Summary:
  Jenna wanted to know how editors picked which candy bag alts made the final cut. Dave Rogers, one of The Office’s editors, replies: the editors watched all versions and picked what worked best, regardless of whether it was scripted, a must-shoot alt, or improvised.

• Quotes:
  Angela: “He said we would get all of the takes of a talking head, and the assistant editors would usually label them as alt A, alt B, et cetera. And the editors would watch them all and put into the assembly whatever take they liked the best.” [16:06]

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4. Michael Scott Candy Bag Alt Highlights

[17:51–25:56]

Angela brings the “candy bag” alt feast, sharing never-before-heard Michael Scott lines from Booze Cruise (S2) and Beach Games (S3).

A. Booze Cruise (Season 2): Motivational Speaker Alts

• Original talking head: Michael attended a Tony Robbins event, not the real course, but adopted some ideas.
• Candy Bag Alts Highlights:
  • “You will get the rest of the answers when you pay for my course.”
  • “Tony Robbins is international. I am local and national, so more accessibility to people, thus better at motivating.”
  • “Tony Robbins is about reaching for the stars. My employees are never going to reach the stars, and telling them they can is mean. What I can do is get them drunk and motivate them to just…reach up, reach to the ceiling.”
  • “When I motivationally speak, it’s like a natural high for me. I can see why people are addicted to crack, because when I motivate, I want to motivate again, like, 15 minutes later.” [20:25]

B. Beach Games (Season 3): Leaving a Legacy Alts

• Original: Michael hopes his beach day will be a beautiful memory—“if Toby is a part of it, then it’ll suck.”
• Candy Bag Alts Highlights:
  • “Through all the trials and tribiones…”
  • “One of the best fortune cookies I ever got: ‘Live so that your name will be written in hearts, not in stone.’ And, ‘Help, I am trapped in a fortune cookie factory.’”
  • “Working for Michael was like a day at the beach. But if that doesn't sum up Michael Scott, what he wanted his employees to remember were jokes, games, and hugs.”
  • “I have an interior motive for going to the beach.”

Memorable Moment:

• Angela: “Do you think Michael loved Friends? He must have loved Friends.” [22:37]

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5. Jenna’s Dive: Dream Team Candy Bag Alts

[25:15–31:36]

• French Toast Scene (Season 5, “Dream Team”): There were multiple silly alts for Michael’s simple “French Toast?” offer, including different bread types, jokes about shellfish allergies, and Michael speaking French.

  • “Michael says, ‘Where's your sense of adventure?’ Pam: ‘You’re right. Triangle it is.’ [He serves squares.]: ‘How about squares?’” [27:31–27:34]

• Ryan’s Introduction Alts: 10 wild alternate lines on Ryan, e.g., “He knows the world of pharmaceuticals from the inside.” and “A man of substances who doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit.” [30:48]

• Unmade Episode Pitch:

  • “Michael Goes to Washington”: Michael, panicked about America’s future after reading a year-old magazine, organizes a Dunder Mifflin task force, takes Dwight and Andy to D.C.—chaos, conference room brainstorms, and oddball government encounters ensue.
  • Jenna: “Is that not a conference room scene you would love to see?” [32:06]

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6. Lighthearted BFF Banter & Listener Letters

[40:18–45:29]

• Around the Towns:

  • Lexy T. in Ireland prepping for the Three Peaks Challenge.
  • Paper Night at the Toledo Mud Hens with Oscar Nuñez.
  • Frank B. tells the story of Lakeville, Minnesota’s folk hero, “Stickman”.
    • Jenna: “I feel like I could be that. The stick lady.” [42:31]

• Angela and Jenna’s Gutter-Cleaning Stick Mystery:

  • Amusing side story: finding, forgetting, and finally using a mysterious bamboo stick stored in Jenna’s garage for gutter maintenance. [44:15]

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7. Office Crew Dream Jobs (Listener Q&A)

[45:40–52:25]

• If not acting, what other job would the ladies want on set?
  • Jenna: Would love to direct, but worries she isn’t suited to it. Realistically, would line-produce or be assistant director.
    • Jenna: “I just don’t— that’s not how my brain works. I’m all characteristics, you know, and from the inside out.” [47:43]
  • Angela: Would be great at craft services (“crafty”), “it’s like a love language,” or maybe a gaffer because she loves light.

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8. Follow-up: Enneagram Results for Producers

[52:25–53:50]

• Sam (audio engineer) and Matt (producer) both take the test—also get Type 1 (“The Reformer”).
• Jenna: “What is this test? The test is the reformer!” [53:25]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

| Time | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:37 | Angela | “Greg was worried…called it candy bag. Who’s ever sad about getting a bag of candy?”| | 18:42 | Angela | “He has a talking head about being a motivational speaker. I want to play you what made it into the episode.”| | 20:25 | Michael (via Angela) | “When I motivationally speak, it’s like a natural high for me… I want to motivate again, like, 15 minutes later.”| | 22:39 | Angela & Jenna | “Do you think Michael loved Friends? …Of course Michael loved Friends.” | | 47:43 | Jenna | “That’s not how my brain works. I’m all characteristics… from the inside out.” | | 50:11 | Angela | “You are if you’re in charge of catering… You have a very limited number of meals that you cook well.”| | 53:25 | Jenna | “What is this test? The test is the reformer!” |

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Final Thoughts & Episode Vibe

• The episode is a treasure trove for superfans and new listeners alike, filled with both genuine production insight and off-the-cuff humor.
• Angela and Jenna’s chemistry shines—full of laughter, playful teasing, and heartwarming support.
• The candy bag alternates don’t just show the depth of The Office’s writing room; they prove why the show remains endlessly rewatchable.

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If you love Michael Scott, the craft of comedy, or want to peek behind the curtain of TV production, this episode delivers a delightful, informative, and laugh-out-loud good time.

Transcript

[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

And I'm Angela Kinsey.

[Jenna Fischer]

We were on the Office together and we're best friends. And now we're doing the ultimate Office Lovers podcast Just for your.

[Angela Kinsey]

Each week we will dive deeper into the world of the Office with exclusive interviews, behind the scenes details and lots of BFF stories.

[Jenna Fischer]

We're the Office Lady 6.0.

[Carolyn G.]

Hello.

[Angela Kinsey]

Hi there.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yay.

[Angela Kinsey]

What's up?

[Jenna Fischer]

We got energy today.

[Angela Kinsey]

We do. Is it because we're starting a little bit later. I've had lunch. I've had several iced teas.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, I've had breakfast and lunch now. Yeah, we usually record in the mornings.

[Angela Kinsey]

I know. Fuller tank after lunch, I think. So, you guys, we're giving you the play by play. We have a super fun episode today. I know we say that all the time, but this is something that is so close to my heart, you guys. You know I love the Candy Bag alts. We fell in love with them during our rewatch at the Office. And today we are gonna dig in deep to some candy bags.

[Dave Rogers]

Yes.

[Jenna Fischer]

And if you've listened to the podcast for a while, you know what we're talking about when we say the Office Candy Bag. But just in case we have some new folks listening today. Quick recap. So on the set of the Office, the writers used to write us extra dialogue that would serve as, like, alternate jokes in a scene or maybe an alternate take on a talking head.

[Angela Kinsey]

Exactly. And then sometimes they would write us multiple pages of alts. And Greg was worried that we would get grumpy about having to learn all these extra lines. So he came up with this sort of phrase called candy bag. Because his theory was, well, basically, who's ever sad about getting a bag of candy?

[Jenna Fischer]

Isn't that such a way that one would manipulate Michael Scott specifically?

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes. Greg said that he sort of thought of us as, like, his children. And he was like, what would I say to my kids to motivate them? Ooh, candy.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, what we've learned over the years of rewatching the Office for this podcast is that the Candy Bag alts are full of wonderful treasures. Just hilarious moments written for each of our characters. Angela, you started digging into them, and they're always so fun. We got a couple letters first from Marcus R. In Grand Rapids, Michigan, who said, hi, ladies. I love the podcast. I've been listening since the beginning. I know you like to hear how people listen, and I listen when I walk my dog Luke in the evenings.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Luke.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know.

[Angela Kinsey]

I love animals with real human people names.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know Marcus doesn't say what kind of dog Luke is, but I'm imagining a golden retriever.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't know. Maybe write us back, Marcus. Tell us if we're right.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

But Marcus goes on to say, I love when Angela shares from the candy bag. I can't believe how they could write so many different versions of the same scene or talking head. And they are all so freaking funny. And Sarah P. From Flagstaff, Arizona, said, I've been listening to the second drinks And I love every time Angela shares from the candy bag.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, Sarah and Marcus, thank you, because I love it too. And like you said, it's just treasure after treasure. So we thought it might be fun to do an episode where we share candy bag alts for each character of the Office, and we figured, what better way to start than with Michael Scott? Holy moly, people. We have uncovered some amazing Michael moments. We can't wait to share them with you.

[Jenna Fischer]

But first, let's start with our chit chat from Carolyn G. In Orange County, California.

[Carolyn G.]

Hi, ladies. I'm also a fan of Amy Poehler's podcast Good Hang, and she often brings up her Enneagram number, which is that personality test from a scale from 1 to 9, and she compares hers with her guests. And I was wondering if you ladies have ever taken that test and if you think your number matches you well or not. I'm so curious to hear. Thanks.

[Jenna Fischer]

Thanks, Carolyn. I know.

[Angela Kinsey]

I was really curious about this because I'm also a fan of Amy's podcast, and I've heard her talk about it, and I didn't know what it was.

[Jenna Fischer]

I've known what it is for a while. I did not ever take the test because I don't know what this says about me. Maybe this is fitting within my Enneagram, but I don't love things that sort of put me in a label. Yeah. You know, I don't like psychics telling me my future because I believe in free will, and I don't believe that my life was, like, set out like that. It was only ever gonna be one way. Like, I believe we can choose our destiny. And so I sort of feel that way. But for you, Carolyn, I took this test.

[Angela Kinsey]

Wow.

[Jenna Fischer]

And I sent it to you, Ange.

[Angela Kinsey]

You did. Look what you did. For love of the podcast community, lady. I love it.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know.

[Angela Kinsey]

I also took the test, unlike you. One, I didn't know about it. Two, I wasn't nervous about it. And three, whatever they say, I'm like, eh, whatever.

[Jenna Fischer]

I'm so curious what you are. I don't know what the nine are. I just know what I am now.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay. I don't know what the nine are either, but I guess Amy is an eight. I looked that up.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh.

[Angela Kinsey]

So I guess what an 8 is called is the challenger.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay.

[Angela Kinsey]

And I don't know very much about this, guys. So I guess a challenger energy is described as someone who charges the room, gets into action immediately. They have a desire to lead and manage power effectively, Things like that.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, the test that we took gave me, like, a percentage for each one of the nine types. Yeah, I have one that I was 95%.

[Angela Kinsey]

Me too.

[Jenna Fischer]

Like, my number one was, like, a strong number one.

[Angela Kinsey]

Same, incidentally.

[Jenna Fischer]

I am number one. I am a type one.

[Angela Kinsey]

What is that?

[Jenna Fischer]

The reformer.

[Angela Kinsey]

The reformer. Ooh.

[Jenna Fischer]

I focus on ethics, order, precision, and the inner critic.

[UPS Store Ad Voice]

Oh.

[Jenna Fischer]

It was kind of accurate. It was kind of bumming me out. How accurate? For all of my not wanting to

[Angela Kinsey]

be painted with one brush, my 95% category is type two, the helper.

[Jenna Fischer]

Wow.

[Angela Kinsey]

And I focus on generosity. The need to be needed. I don't know if that's great. And the fear of being unlovable. I don't think that's me.

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't think you have a fear of being unlovable. I think you know how lovable you are.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, stop.

[Sam Kiefer]

No.

[Jenna Fischer]

You have. I think you know that you are good at loving people and being loved.

[Angela Kinsey]

I like helping people. I do. So maybe there is something there that I like to be of service and needed. My second highest score, though, was the challenger.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh.

[Angela Kinsey]

Same as Amy Poehler. I charge into a room and want to help you aggressively.

[Jenna Fischer]

You know what's interesting? My helper score is very low. The helper. 52%. The helper. My second was the achiever. So I'm a reformer and an achiever, I guess.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, my. The reformer score is 80%.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, you're there. You're with me.

[Angela Kinsey]

What's your lowest score?

[Jenna Fischer]

My lowest was the peacemaker. I don't know what that means.

[Angela Kinsey]

My peacemaker's right in the middle. It's 83. My lowest was. This makes me sound like such a basic bitch. My lowest score was the individualist. I just wanna go with the flow.

[Jenna Fischer]

You know, I remember the questions that I think might have, like, pertained to being a person who is the peacemaker, you know? Cause it's all like, strongly agree, agree, neutral, disagree, strongly disagree. And I feel like peacemaker questions were things like, it's very hard for me when people are in conflict. It's not hard for me. I don't feel the need to make peace. I think we can spend time in a messy, confrontational space where we're figuring things out. It's okay.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. I don't know. I have to say, I was not a fan of the test. I don't like tests that are, like multiple choice.

[Jenna Fischer]

How would you have done the test differently?

[Angela Kinsey]

I don't know. This is not my job to create the test. But I'm just saying I wasn't a fan. I don't like. Strongly agree, agree, neutral, disagree. Strongly disagree.

[Jenna Fischer]

Did you strongly agree or strongly disagree to things?

[Angela Kinsey]

Sometimes, yeah. Same, same.

[Jenna Fischer]

I strongly agreed to a lot of stuff.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, you're a reformer. Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's true, I guess.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, it was very interesting. Sam, have you taken this test?

[Sam Kiefer]

No, I haven't. I'm gonna take it right now.

[Michael Scott (voice actor reading lines)]

Ooh.

[Angela Kinsey]

Will you tell us at the end what your score is? Okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

Do you want us to send it to you? The one that we took?

[Sam Kiefer]

Yes, I would.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

It costs $1.50 to get your results.

[Sam Kiefer]

I'm more than willing to pay.

[Angela Kinsey]

I'm pretty sure now I'm going to be on an email list, too.

[Sam Kiefer]

Oh, yeah. Your information's sold for sure.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. Well, Carolyn, there you go. If I ever go on good hang, I'll know my score. That's good, right?

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, yeah. And I want to ask her about being the challenger.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. You share that.

[Angela Kinsey]

I do. That's number two on my list.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know. All right, well, everyone, why don't we take a break and when we come back, buckle in because it's Michael Scott Candy bag.

[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

We are back. And to kick things off, I thought we needed a little candy.

[Angela Kinsey]

Like real life candy.

[Jenna Fischer]

Real candy.

[Angela Kinsey]

What did you bring?

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, I wanted to know, did Michael Scott have a favorite candy?

[Angela Kinsey]

Is it like the whatchamacallit or something?

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, that's not his favorite and I couldn't find anything really specifically. He loves sweets. We know that. But in the meeting season six, episode two, he does try to share his love of jelly beans with Jim. So I brought jelly beans.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, great.

[Jenna Fischer]

There you go. And have some jelly beans.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

Do you like jelly beans?

[Angela Kinsey]

Our do was not to like.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know. I like them too.

[Angela Kinsey]

I love jelly beans. I even love some funky flavors.

[Dave Rogers]

Oh.

[Jenna Fischer]

So do you like a jelly belly that has like a real flavor or do you like the ones that I brought? These are just like your typical, like Brock's tiny jelly beans. Like the kind you have at Easter. Guess where mine are from Easter.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah, the outside was a little crunchy.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, I want them out of my house.

[Angela Kinsey]

You were so.

[Jenna Fischer]

Thank you. Cleaning.

[Angela Kinsey]

I was like talking to you and you were telling me all the different stuff you were cleaning out. So I guess you just got rid of your jelly beans.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, I'm lucky. Michael Scott liked them, so it worked out.

[Angela Kinsey]

You are.

[Jenna Fischer]

So listen, I was also really curious when we said we were gonna dig into these ang. I wanted to get into the context of, like, how did the candy bags work from a production standpoint? You know, like, how would they decide which version of a scene or a talking head to use? So we reached out to Dave Rogers to ask him and we said when he would do his assembly, when he would do his editor's pass, would he use the scripted version or did he have license to put in the candy bag one. Like, how were these things organized? How did it all work.

[Angela Kinsey]

This is very much your producer brain wanting to figure it out, which I love about you. Well, here's what Dave said, by the way. Dave always gets back to us right away.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know, I know.

[Angela Kinsey]

I say it a gazillion times, but I love him. He said we would get all of the takes of a talking head, and the assistant editors would usually label them as alt A, alt B, et cetera. And the editors would watch them all and put into the assembly whatever take they liked the best. It did not matter if it was the scripted line or a must shoot alt or a candy bag alt. Same for scenes in the show. It didn't matter to the editors if a line was officially scripted or if there was a new joke or dialogue that a writer pitched on set or an actor improvised. Once a scene was filmed and ready to edit, whatever was the funniest and best served the show. And that made it into the cut.

[Jenna Fischer]

Very interesting. So the editors really had a lot of agency to go through that footage and kind of pick what they thought worked best.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. Remember, Jenna, when you and I co presented at the editor's awards, and I remember several people as they got up and they were talking about the different awards, they got a theme was that a writer writes the script, but the second storyteller is the editor. And I thought that was really powerful.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, when Lee made his movie the Giant Mechanical man, we shot the scenes in a certain order, but then when he went in with his editor, they rearranged stuff.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's crazy to me.

[Jenna Fischer]

Me too.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. They moved certain things up. Or it was like, we put all the comedy in a row. Maybe we want to break it up with something more sentimental or something more moving. And I was just. I was fascinated because that was the first time that I had been attached to a project from a producerial standpoint where I really saw stuff from, like, page to screen. And it changed a lot in editing.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah, editors are amazing. Full stop. Well, let's really dig in now to these Michael Scott candy bag alts. Jenna, I did not tell you which episodes I dug into. My only hint to you was that I took things from our early seasons. And are you ready for something pretty amazing from season two? What? I can't even believe I found this because we did such a comprehensive breakdown of this particular episode with Greg Daniels. Try to guess the episode. Booze Cruise.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

How is there anything left for discovery about Booze Cruise? But I'm telling you, the candy bags are amazing. So remember the scene In Booze Cruise at the beginning of the episode, when everyone's in the conference room and Michael is sharing that they're gonna go on this boat as part of his, quote, leadership exercises.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

And he has a talking head about being a motivational speaker. I wanna play for you what made it into the episode. And then I want you to know that there were seven candy bag alts for this one Talking head. They're hilarious. I'm going to pick four favorites to share with you, but let's hear the one that made it in the episode first.

[Michael Scott (voice actor reading lines)]

I am a great motivational speaker. I attended a Tony Robbins event by the airport last year, and it wasn't the actual course. You have to pay for the actual course, but it talked about the actual course, and I've incorporated a lot of his ideas into my own course.

[Angela Kinsey]

So, yeah, there were seven candy bag alts for this. I just want to share with you some of my favorites. Okay, here's one Michael would have said. I have incorporated many of his ideas. Michael, give us all the answers. No, I will not do that. I will lead you to the answers and give you some of the answers. You will get the rest of the answers when you pay for my course. And then he said, here's another alt. Tony Robbins is international. I am local and national, so more accessibility to people, thus better at motivating. I get so happy when I motivate someone and so sad when I do the opposite, which is why I stopped doing that. So wait, he stopped motivating people for

[Jenna Fischer]

fear of doing the opposite, of making them sad?

[Angela Kinsey]

Anyway. Cracked me up. All right, here's another one. Tony Robbins is about reaching for the stars. My employees are never going to reach the stars, and telling them they can't is just mean. What I can do is get them drunk and motivate them to just reach up, reach to the ceiling. Okay, wait, I have two more. When I motivationally speak, it's like a natural high for me. I can see why people are addicted to crack, because when I motivate, I want to motivate again, like, 15 minutes later. What?

[Jenna Fischer]

Michael.

[Angela Kinsey]

All right, so that's a little bit of Michael Scott candy bag alts from Booze Cruise Season 2. And then I thought, what's happening in Season 3, lady? Almost like I spun a wheel. I just did my cursor down my computer, and I just landed on beach games. Ooh, ooh. Are you ready? This is, like, so fun. The Michael Scott talking head alts for beach games were super stacked. I shared a little Bit in our second drink about talking heads that Phyllis and Meredith had because people had a lot of feelings about this beach day. But I want to share the ones where Michael is really sort of trying to figure out his legacy as he's leaving Dunder Mifflin to go to the corporate offices. Here's the talking head that aired and then I'm going to share a few that were in the candy bag. Alts.

[Michael Scott (voice actor reading lines)]

I want today to be a beautiful memory that the staff and I share after I have passed on to New York. And if Toby is a part of it, then it'll suck.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh yeah. This is how he manages to like leave Toby behind, right?

[Angela Kinsey]

Uh huh. But this is sort of the beginning of this runner about like what is his legacy. Right. And then they wrote a ton, a ton of alts and I want to share them with you.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, amazing.

[Angela Kinsey]

What do you remember from a movie? The ending. You know, at the end of Pirates of the Caribbean when Johnny Depp goes, argh. That's all I remember from that movie. And it was my favorite movie too. So through all the ups and downs, all the trials and tribiones, when they remember Michael Scott and Scranton, they're going to remember it was a day at the beach. Argh. First of all, I love that he says trials and tribbianis. Do you think he loved friends? He must have loved friends. Of course. Right?

[Jenna Fischer]

Of course Michael loved friends.

[Angela Kinsey]

Of course. Here's another one. One of the best fortune cookies I ever got. Quote, live so that your name will be written in hearts, not in stone. And an all time best quote, help. I am trapped in a fortune cookie factory. That's what I want people to remember of the days I spent in Scranton. Jokes, games, hugs. Working for Michael was like a day at the beach. But if that doesn't sum up Michael Scott, what he wanted his employees to remember were jokes, games and hugs.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

All right, I have three more and then I promise I'll be done. They were so good. Here's another one from Michael. When I'm working in my fancy new corporate office and I think of Scranton, I don't want to remember just Pam answering the phone or Stanley writing up purchase orders. I want to remember them like they'll be today. Having splash fights and digging castles in the sand. Just playing like children. And maybe some of them in bikinis.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh dear.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay, here's one more. My favorite kind of sale is a twofer. Pay full price for one thing, get another of the same thing for free. What's better than a Twofer a three fur. And that's what today is. We're going to the beach. Have a great time. And in the meantime, I'm going to find my replacement, and the staff is going to have a full day worth of memories that say Michael Scott is the best boss ever. Three for the price of fun. Three for the price of fun, lady. Jokes, games and hugs. This is Michael Scott. Last one. Okay, for real. Last one. Michael would have said this. I have an interior motive for going to the beach.

[Jenna Fischer]

An interior motive.

[Angela Kinsey]

Decide who to recommend as my replacement. Not surprising. Tall order. I'm going to test them all with carnival games until a hero emerges. Anyway, those are some Michael Scott candy bag alts from booze cruise and beach games. I thought you get a little season two, you get a little season three. How amazing were those?

[Jenna Fischer]

I mean, every single one of them is gold.

[Angela Kinsey]

I know. Truly trials and Tribbianis coming.

[Jenna Fischer]

I can hear, like, Steve doing them too.

[Angela Kinsey]

I know. I'm sorry you guys had to put up with me reading them because I can just hear Michael Scott's voice so clear in my head. But I mean, there's so many that I just now want to commit to memory. Jokes, games and hugs, trials and tribiones. I have an interior motive.

[Jenna Fischer]

I mean, those are all great. I know.

[Angela Kinsey]

The thing I was the most surprised about all those alts is that there wasn't more Toby bashing.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, lady, I knew you were looking into early season candy bags, so I decided to look into one of my favorite episodes. One of my just personal favorite episodes. Dream Team.

[Angela Kinsey]

Got it.

[Jenna Fischer]

I was particularly curious if there were any alts from when Pam goes to Michael's condo and he's making the French toast, because I felt like I remembered shooting alternates for that. And first of all, I want to share that the candy bag for dream team was 54 pages long.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's nuts.

[Jenna Fischer]

Almost twice as long as the actual script right now. Part of that is because what they'll do is they'll put the scripted talking head followed by then what the alts are, or they'll put the scene followed by the alts so you have the original one to reference. But still, I mean, candy bags were thicker than our scripts.

[Angela Kinsey]

Mm.

[Jenna Fischer]

So I'm going through looking at these 54 pages, and I was right. There were a bunch of extended alternate endings for the scene where Michael asks Pam how she wants her French toast. So first, let's listen to how the scene went down. This looks great, Michael.

[Michael Scott (voice actor reading lines)]

Thank you. Would you like some French toast?

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes. Please, what shape? Square is fine. All right, so that's it. It's very simple. Yeah, but they had all these alternate endings that they wrote for the scene. And I found this kind of fascinating because I thought that, like, this was such a good example of how even, like, the smallest moments, they were so dedicated to them being as funny as possible that they wrote alternates to that little French toast exchange.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay, so here's an alternate. Michael says, french toast. Pam says, yes, please. He says, what shape? And then it says, pam caught off guard. Square is fine. Michael, where's your sense of adventure? Pam, you're right. Triangle it is.

[Carolyn G.]

Pause.

[Jenna Fischer]

Michael says, how about squares?

[Angela Kinsey]

Cause that's what he could clearly make.

[Jenna Fischer]

Pam goes, sure. There were two more. Michael says, french toast. Pam says, yes, please. Michael says, any allergies I should know about? Pam says, shellfish. Michael says, let me wash my hands.

[Angela Kinsey]

What.

[Jenna Fischer]

What were you doing before I got there, Michael? Oh, Lord, what happened? What were you handling before I arrived?

[Angela Kinsey]

I don't want to know.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay. Michael says, french toast. Pam says, yes, please. Michael says, sourdough or white? Pam says, sourdough. Michael says, mm, that one's not sliced. Pam says, white is fine. And then Michael, in an exuberant French accent, says, tost Francais.

[Jill Schlesinger]

That's it.

[Angela Kinsey]

Toast francais.

[Jenna Fischer]

Toast francais. But I just loved it. And I remember we did all of those.

[Angela Kinsey]

I was gonna say we ran through them where we would get to, like, set things up a little differently, line by line. Mm. A lot of times those moments led to the best take that was none of those, but it, like, freed you up somehow, you know?

[Jenna Fischer]

So then, if you remember later in this episode, Michael, Ryan, Vikram, and Pam, they all go to see Michael's nana at the nursing home.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

And they're gonna pitch Michael Scott Paper Company to her investment group, which is an actual group of people who might give them money.

[Angela Kinsey]

It was so good.

[Jenna Fischer]

So when he gets there, Michael goes through and he introduces all of us. And he has a way of introducing us that kind of, like, makes us sound better than we are. But here, let's listen.

[Michael Scott (voice actor reading lines)]

I have assembled what I believe to be the most exciting, sought after talent in the industry today. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the dream team. From our very own Scranton, Pennsylvania, Pam Beasley. Pretty Pam is always reaching for the stars. And someday, she may just surprise us all and grab one. Meet Vikram. From his humble beginnings as a standing. From his humble beginnings as a prominent surgeon, he risked it all to become the most successful telemarketer in the lipofedrine industry and do not call it a comeback. The youngest vice president in the history of Dunder Mifflin and recent bowling alley employee Ryan Howard is about to make a splash in paper.

[Angela Kinsey]

Are you about to tell me their alts for the intros?

[Jenna Fischer]

Only for the intros of Ryan.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, come on.

[Jenna Fischer]

Which I found so telling. Yeah, because I think they just had a really good time writing alternate ways for Michael to introduce that particular character. Yeah, yeah, Ryan. So there were 10 alts. I'm gonna read five, he might have said, with extensive experience in the criminal justice system. Or a maverick who's used to breaking all the rules.

[Angela Kinsey]

Nice.

[Jenna Fischer]

He knows the world of pharmaceuticals from the inside. I liked this one. An outspoken advocate for justice who has argued in front of judges throughout the state. It's a nice spin.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's a nice spin on his court hearing.

[Jenna Fischer]

Exactly. And also a man of substances who doesn't know the meaning of the word quit. So there you go. And also, while I was digging around in the candy bags, I found an episode pitch called Michael goes to Washington. This is sort of the ultimate candy bag, right? It's a whole episode pitch. This would have been a card on the wall. Yeah, and I thought I could share that as well.

[Angela Kinsey]

Let's hear it.

[Jenna Fischer]

Here's what would have happened. And Michael goes to Washington. The episode was gonna start with Michael coming into the office. He's been at the dentist and he's holding a year old copy of Economist magazine.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

Apparently he read it all cover to cover in the waiting room, and he is now suddenly terrified about America's future.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, no. This is classic Michael.

[Jenna Fischer]

Like, he's okay, but remember, everything he's read is one year old.

[Angela Kinsey]

Right.

[Jenna Fischer]

Nonetheless, he orders various people into the conference room to brainstorm solutions to America's problems. I'm sorry, is that not a conference room scene that you would love to see? Various members of the office brainstorming America's problems.

[Angela Kinsey]

I mean, this is the thing that Mindy has said in interviews that she would love to write Michael Scott's like, take on things.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know, like, incredible. So as they're doing this research, Dwight tells everybody that these problems are a non issue because the earth will not survive the Yellowstone supervolcano. Side note, that is a real thing. I didn't know what the Yellowstone supervolcano. I didn't know about it. Do you know about it? No, I googled it.

[Angela Kinsey]

There's a super volcano.

[Jenna Fischer]

There is a massive volcanic system under Yellowstone National Park.

[Angela Kinsey]

Is that why Old Faithful blows All the time.

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't know. But if it explodes, when it explodes, they're saying it'll explode. Probably not in the next hundred years, but eventually it will cover most of the United States with ash and sulfur dioxide.

[Jill Schlesinger]

What?

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah, it's like an ice age event. It's just gonna, like, rip everything out. Correct. Yes.

[Jenna Fischer]

To Dwight's point, nothing will matter because we're gonna go into, like, a decades long volcanic winter. Like, crops will die, temperatures will plummet. Just something to think about. Worry about that.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay. I need Michael Bay to get on this. He needs to cast Ben Affleck.

[Dave Rogers]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

You know, he needs to. Armageddon. This.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, you know what? It's an oppo. Armageddon. In Armageddon, they send the oil guys, the drillers, up into space.

[Angela Kinsey]

I.

[Jenna Fischer]

Why don't we get a group of astronauts to dig into the volcano?

[Angela Kinsey]

It rights itself.

[Jenna Fischer]

It does. Get someone on the phone.

[Angela Kinsey]

Wait, do you want to watch Armageddon with me? When's the last time you saw it?

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, my God. It's been forever ago. You want to do it?

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, my God. Sam, have you seen Armageddon?

[Sam Kiefer]

Yeah, I've seen Armageddon.

[Jenna Fischer]

Like, recently.

[Sam Kiefer]

No, no, no, not since theaters.

[Jenna Fischer]

Maybe.

[Angela Kinsey]

I haven't seen it since I saw it in the theater. How is it that we all remember it so well? It's clearly an amazing movie. Do we need to do it as an office lady does Armageddon?

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes, yes. Some are blockbuster. Office ladies do Armageddon. We'll see.

[Angela Kinsey]

We'll see.

[Jenna Fischer]

Stay tuned. All right, back to the plot. Michael is gonna choose a team. He's decided that their ideas are so great, they need to get them to a representative in Washington D.C. okay, so he chooses a team to go with him to deliver their findings. He chooses Dwight and Andy. And when they get there, and it looks like the intention was to shoot this in Washington D.C. they get distracted. Oh, can you believe it? Michael wants to visit the Smithsonian because the set from MASH is there. Dwight wants to visit the Secret Service. He also has a bone to pick with the Department of Agriculture. And he wants to look at the back of the Declaration of Independence. According to this document, they will eventually meet their congressman. Dwight has a complicated plan for breaking into the office and ambushing him. But when they get there, it's actually not hard to get access at all. The Congressman is just like, wandering around the halls. Which feels to me very much like the episode where they break in to Utica and they steal the whole copier.

[Carolyn G.]

Right.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's Like a very elaborate plan that didn't need to be such.

[Angela Kinsey]

Exactly. They could just walk right in.

[Jenna Fischer]

Right. And it says the congressman is very friendly and charming, but passes them off to an aide who gives them each a signed photo and a flag pin.

[Dave Rogers]

Aw.

[Jenna Fischer]

That's kind of how it is.

[Angela Kinsey]

They get like a coaster or a napkin. They're like so happy.

[Jenna Fischer]

Exactly.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, I love that so much. Gosh, the candy bags. They don't disappoint.

[Jenna Fischer]

They don't.

[Angela Kinsey]

We need to do this for every character.

[Jenna Fischer]

I agree. And then we can loop back. Cause there's more. Michael Scott we didn't cover, but you know.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah, yeah. Well, that's just all too much fun. And now we have an assignment. Armageddon. I think we should take a break and come back with some around the towns and our office.

[Jenna Fischer]

Question of the week.

[Angela Kinsey]

Hey, before we jump back into the show, let's take a quick break.

[Jenna Fischer]

But not just any break. This is a refreshing break with Snapple.

[Angela Kinsey]

We all know about Snapple's iconic real facts, so let's take a minute to go over some of our faves.

[Jenna Fischer]

Snapple Real Fact 705. Every ton of recycled paper saves about 17 trees.

[Angela Kinsey]

Snapple Real Fact 253. The first TV remote control introduced in 1950 was called Lazy Bones.

[Jenna Fischer]

Snapple Real Fact 2033Americans consume 150 million hot dogs on July 4th.

[Angela Kinsey]

Snapple Real Fact 855. Oregon has more ghost towns than any other US state.

[Jenna Fischer]

So grab a Snapple, take a second and enjoy the moment. Because let's be honest, this might be the most refreshing part of your day.

[Angela Kinsey]

Snapple, make your break more interesting. All right, now let's get back to the show. Having the right people in your corner,

[Jenna Fischer]

it just makes all the difference, lady. Having you in my corner.

[Angela Kinsey]

Ah, well, right back at you. Well, we are working with State Farm and one of the things I like about State Farm is knowing that you have that support. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Whether you need coverage for your car or your home, you can choose the right amount of coverage for you.

[Jenna Fischer]

Boats, motorcycles, RVs. An agent can help you. And when that part's handled, you can focus on the best parts. Like taking your new car out on the road.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's right. You can go [e-mail] or use the award winning app to get help from one of their local agents.

[Jenna Fischer]

The State Farm personal price plan can help you create an affordable price. When you choose to bundle home and

[Angela Kinsey]

auto insurance, you have options to choose from. To help best fit your needs, talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with their personal price plan.

[Jenna Fischer]

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Angela Kinsey]

Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.

[Jenna Fischer]

You know Squarespace? We've been using Squarespace for seven years.

[Angela Kinsey]

Almost seven years. Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

To first grab our domain name. They make that very easy.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yep.

[Jenna Fischer]

And then also to design our website and now to maintain our website and build it out even more.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's right, you guys, Squarespace is that all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online.

[Jenna Fischer]

I have to say, Squarespace has really grown with us. It has, and it has helped us grow in ways that I wouldn't have imagined. We just went through and Ileana did a whole reorganizing of how to find our back catalog, and Squarespace made that really easy.

[Angela Kinsey]

Really and truly, with Squarespace, whatever you can imagine for your website, it has the tools to help you head to

[Jenna Fischer]

squarespace.com officeladies for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code officeladies to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Angela Kinsey]

All right, we are back. And our first around the town comes from Lexy T. In County Cork, Ireland. Lexi wrote in and said this. This past weekend, I completed my first proper hike in preparation for the Three Peaks Challenge in the UK the challenge will aim to have the team summit the three highest peaks in the UK all within 24 hours in support of raising funds for cancer research in Ireland and the UK Go, team. Oh, my gosh. Go, Lexi.

[Jenna Fischer]

You're gonna climb three mountains in 24 hours?

[Angela Kinsey]

I don't even understand how that's possible.

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't either. This is a feat. Lexi, I have questions. You're saying you just completed your first proper hike in preparation? Wow. I mean, I. I mean, I know people train for marathons.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's right. Well, Lexi, I want to look that up, because that sounds pretty impressive, and I wish you all the luck.

[Jenna Fischer]

I bet you're going to see some beautiful scenery as well. All right, next up, Julia M. From Toledo, Ohio. Angela, I think you're going to like this. Back on May 23 this year, the Toledo Mud Hens hosted a the Paper Night. The event featured Oscar Nunez post game fireworks and a Cancoozie giveaway.

[Angela Kinsey]

Um, I knew about this because, you know, I keep up With Oscar, and I saw that he was doing it, and I love the Toledo Mudback.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know. That's why I'm saying you've become a fan. Since the paper, I've become a fan.

[Angela Kinsey]

So what a fun night. All right, our last around the town is from Frank B. In Lakeville, Minnesota. Frank says in Lakeville, we have our own hometown celebrity, a shirtless guy called Stickman who spends his days walking around town carrying a giant wooden staff. He's half Tom Hanks and Castaway and half Midwestern Gandalf. And yes, virtually everyone knows him. What started in 2007 as a local man just going out for a walk turned into one of the most wholesome traditions in town. He walks for hours every day, handing out flyers or waving at passing cars with a giant stick he found in the woods, because apparently Minnesotans will turn literally anything into a friendly gesture. Kids get excited when they spot him, and locals proudly explain him to confused visitors like, ah, that's just Stickman. We love him. Honestly. Every community says they're unique. But not every community has a mysterious, wandering folk hero who spreads joy on the local streets. Lakeville does, and we're proud of our hometown hero.

[Jenna Fischer]

I love it. I feel like I could be that.

[Angela Kinsey]

You could be the stick lady. The stick lady. What does that look like for you?

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, I have a giant stick. Number one.

[Angela Kinsey]

Number one.

[Jenna Fischer]

And I walk around, and you walk around, and I just wave at people and I hand out flyers about. I don't know what. Anything I want.

[Angela Kinsey]

Just friendly things.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, yeah, that's what it sounds like.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's like. I mean, you know, I like David Sedaris, and he just decided to clean the road by this little village he lives in outside of London. And so he's kind of become like a little local. Like, not celebrity, but kind of like, oh, he's the guy that picks up trash.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

And he does it every day.

[Jenna Fischer]

I mean, people must be so happy.

[Angela Kinsey]

Mm.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, I could do that too.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. Plus, who doesn't love a great stick?

[Jenna Fischer]

Who doesn't?

[Angela Kinsey]

I mean, how many hours did you spend with your kids on walks? And they'd get so excited if they found a good stick.

[Jenna Fischer]

You know what we found in our garage when we cleaned it out? Okay, this is crazy. Talk about a giant stick. Way up high, almost by the ceiling of the garage.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

Cause we had to clear out the whole garage. Cause we took everything out, we put it all back in, all the shelves and all that. All that stuff. Yeah, On a couple of nails. I don't know how long this thing has been there.

[Angela Kinsey]

Like, old rusted nails.

[Jenna Fischer]

Like, perched on these nails was the longest, like, the length of the whole wall. Piece of, like, a bamboo stick. Like a bamboo stick. And Lee and I were like, what? Like, why? Like someone cared enough to put these nails here and put this up here.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. That bamboo stick was important to them.

[Jenna Fischer]

For what reason? We couldn't figure out what it was. So then few days pass, Lee comes up to me. He says, I think I know what it's for.

[Angela Kinsey]

What?

[Jenna Fischer]

I'm like, what? What is it for? And he said that we'd had a rain, and our gutters were full of leaves, and so the rainwater was, like, dripping down by the window on the house. You know, the gutter was full.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

He said, I got up on a ladder, and I thought, I need something I can poke these leaves out with. I just need something to get these leaves out of the gutter. And I remembered the stick. I remembered the bamboo stick. And he said, jenna, I got it. And it was exactly the length of the gutter, and it was, like, pliable. And it wasn't too heavy, but it was also firm enough. And he cleared our gutters. He goes, I think that man used it to clear the gutters. He's convinced we kept it. We put it back up on the nails.

[Angela Kinsey]

I was gonna say that is part of your home now. Yeah, done.

[Jenna Fischer]

Giant stick.

[Angela Kinsey]

Giant stick. What a find.

[Jenna Fischer]

I mean, I love stuff like that. Yeah, clearly.

[Angela Kinsey]

Frank from Minnesota, we got very excited about your Stickman story.

[Jenna Fischer]

Our office question of the week comes from Sarah L. In Arlington, Virginia, who said if you ladies were going to do one other job on the set of the office, which job would you want to do and why? This is very interesting to Sarah because there's the job or jobs that I think I would be good at, but I don't want them. And then there's the job I would want, but I don't think I'd be good.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, I know what you'd be good at, and that'd be, like, our line producer.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, you'd be very good.

[Angela Kinsey]

You would know our budget. You would know what we could spend. You would know, like, all the things to make us stay on schedule so that you'd be very good at. Can I try to guess what you'd want to do, what you don't think you'd be good at?

[Jenna Fischer]

Sure. I won't be offended.

[Angela Kinsey]

Like,

[Jenna Fischer]

this could get dicey quick.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, I was thinking, like, maybe, like,

[Jenna Fischer]

what am I not good at? Is basically the question that you're pondering.

[Angela Kinsey]

I was, like, gonna say, like. I mean, the hair and makeup trailer's a really fun place to be. What are you saying?

[Jenna Fischer]

What are you saying about my hair and makeup skills?

[Angela Kinsey]

I am saying I think you put yourself together very well, but we have both sort of bonded over the years in the fact that we don't wear a lot of makeup and we don't do much with our hair. Look at us today. Look at us.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay, fair enough. That wasn't what I was thinking. Is there anything else you think I'm not good at?

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah, I'll keep going. What about, like, the construction? Oh, my gosh, no. That also was not my answer. Okay, I'm done.

[Carolyn G.]

What?

[Angela Kinsey]

Directing. Oh, you'd be great at directing. That's why I didn't even guess that. I disagree with your internal monologue. You'd be a great director.

[Jenna Fischer]

So I don't think so. I think directors, they have to be able to look at things from the outside and create. They have to paint a whole picture.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes.

[Jenna Fischer]

And I don't think. I just don't. That's not how my brain works. I'm all characteristics, you know, and from the inside out. And so I just don't think I would know where to, like, point the camera or tell people to stand. Like, I don't see it that way when I read it, but I would love to be a director because then I would be on set and I'd be in the creative process, but I will not have ever gone through hair and makeup. I wouldn't have to wear clothes that are uncomfortable.

[Angela Kinsey]

Exactly.

[Jenna Fischer]

So that would be my choice of my dream job.

[Angela Kinsey]

I love directing. It's been a long time, but I had directed some theater and stuff in college. And the only thing for me is because I do like the big picture, I get really impatient. There was this one gal who just was not getting the note for this performance note that I had, and I just needed to just be like, she's just gonna do it her way. She can't process any kind of change. And. But I think I was a. I think I maybe was a little short.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, this is another thing about directing, which is that you get asked so many questions all day. I don't have the temperament for that.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

So in that way, I don't.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's your wedding day every single day.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes.

[Jenna Fischer]

Do you want this color cranberry or that color cranberry?

[Angela Kinsey]

And then you have someone come up to you who's just like, you're in the middle of something and they're like, there's no toilet paper in the bathroom. And you're like, what? What am I? I'm the bride. I'm not in charge of toilet paper today. Yeah, but just. People just come up and say all kinds of stuff to you.

[Jenna Fischer]

You have to solve every problem all day long. Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

And you have to be nice and patient.

[Jenna Fischer]

So what would you want to do, lady? Should I say the things I think you shouldn't do?

[Carolyn G.]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

No, I'm kidding.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes, you should. You should. I'm kidding.

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't think you should run catering. I don't.

[Carolyn G.]

What?

[Angela Kinsey]

I throw great parties.

[Jenna Fischer]

Crafty.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes.

[Jenna Fischer]

You can be in charge of crafty snacks. I could be in charge of snacks a hundred percent.

[Angela Kinsey]

100%.

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't want you to cook the meals.

[Angela Kinsey]

You probably don't want me to. You know what? I'm good at, like, one dish at a time.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know.

[Angela Kinsey]

I am not a short order chef. No, I can't do that.

[Jenna Fischer]

But also, you have a very limited number of meals that you cook well.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's true.

[Jenna Fischer]

And you cook them well.

[Angela Kinsey]

I cook them well.

[Jenna Fischer]

Josh is gonna be eating the same thing all the time. You are if you're in charge catering.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. But snacks I could do. I would actually very much enjoy being crafty on set. Cause then I could figure out what people's favorite snacks are. And it's like a love language to take care of you. I could make sure you had your favorite jelly beans.

[Jenna Fischer]

Or you'd be great at crafting.

[Angela Kinsey]

I would love being crafty.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. The other one that I thought would be fun would be to be a gaffer. I love light. I love seeing how light changes a scene.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, okay. Yeah. I mean, it's a super cool, like, artistic job. Like, if there's a fakie window, you have to make me believe that's a real window using light.

[Angela Kinsey]

I know. And you know what else I think is so cool? And we only did this a handful of times on the set of the Office, but I've done it on movies plenty of times where you're filming and it's broad daylight, but they make everything to look like nighttime.

[Jenna Fischer]

Day for night. They call it day for night.

[Carolyn G.]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

And they black out the windows, but then they'll let a little light through like it's moonlight. But you step outside and it's 3 o' clock in the afternoon.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's so cool.

[Jenna Fischer]

I couldn't do that job.

[Angela Kinsey]

Lighting is really cool.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

I don't Know if I'd be good at it, but I really appreciate it.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, those are good answers.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. So basically, if I wasn't acting, you think I'd be in charge of crafty?

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

And I would love to be directing, but I'm not sure it would be my strong suit. So I might be line producing. I might be your ad. I think I'd be good at it.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, yeah, you'd be a great ad.

[Jenna Fischer]

The scheduling. Yeah, I think I would like it. And if I were first AD I'd get to be on set, and I'd get to be around all the funniest.

[Angela Kinsey]

And I'd be on set. Funniest as crafty. I'd be right outside the door there. But on stage, crafty is a lot of times on the stage, and it's just sort of behind, like, the main structures that you're filming in. So you kind of have to be quiet over there.

[Jenna Fischer]

Cause, you know, you've got your snacks,

[Angela Kinsey]

but you see all the actors and the crew.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, if I were 2nd AD then I would be back there with you, and then we would be best friends again.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay. So you're crafty and I'm second AD Done. All right, everybody, thank you for sending in all of your tidbits. Thank you for your letters. Oh, wait, Sam.

[Angela Kinsey]

Sam, did you take your test?

[Sam Kiefer]

I did. I am.

[Jenna Fischer]

What are you?

[Sam Kiefer]

Type 1, the reformer.

[Jenna Fischer]

Type 1, the reformer.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Me?

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, we're the same. Look at us.

[Sam Kiefer]

I'm 95% the reformer, 89% the investigator. Ooh, 89% the challenger.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

What are you? The least.

[Sam Kiefer]

I am the least. The loyalist.

[Jenna Fischer]

The loyalist.

[Angela Kinsey]

The loyalist.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay, that's weird.

[Sam Kiefer]

Yeah.

[UPS Store Ad Voice]

Huh.

[Jenna Fischer]

I mean, I don't know if it's super literal, but I find you to be very loyal.

[Sam Kiefer]

Yeah, me too.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well.

[Carolyn G.]

Huh.

[Jenna Fischer]

Not according to this quiz. Again, I don't know what you said on this quiz.

[Sam Kiefer]

Yeah, exactly.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, you probably didn't strongly disagree enough.

[Sam Kiefer]

Yeah, A lot of these questions are what bother me about astrology, where it's like the questions are so generic, they could apply to anybody.

[Angela Kinsey]

But then all of a sudden, you're a reformer.

[Sam Kiefer]

Yeah, exactly.

[Angela Kinsey]

Matt Beagle. Did you take it, by any chance?

[Sam Kiefer]

You know, I did, and I also got the reformer, which feels wrong.

[Jenna Fischer]

What is this test? The test is the reformer.

[Sam Kiefer]

The second one I got is the peacemaker, which I feel like I identify more with.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay, so we have.

[Sam Kiefer]

Do we have a good balance?

[Angela Kinsey]

We have two reformers, one reformer, peacemaker, one helper, slash challenger.

[Jenna Fischer]

Is that a good way to make a podcast.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's working well.

[Jenna Fischer]

I think it's a pretty good way to make a podcast because y', all, this is our 3,300th episode.

[Angela Kinsey]

Woo hoo.

[Jenna Fischer]

How's about that?

[Angela Kinsey]

300 episodes? Yeah, over 500. 1 million downloads. Hey, I know. Really, I should write music.

[Jenna Fischer]

Why don't we write jingles?

[Angela Kinsey]

We should.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, listen, thank you to everyone who wrote in. We had a great time with this episode and we'll see you next week.

[Angela Kinsey]

See you then.

[Jenna Fischer]

Thank you for listening.

[Carolyn G.]

The to all.

[Jenna Fischer]

Welcome to Office Ladies.

[Angela Kinsey]

Office Ladies is a presentation of Odyssey and is produced by Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey.

[Jenna Fischer]

Our senior producer is Matt Beagle and our audio engineer is Sam Kiefer.

[Angela Kinsey]

Odyssey's executive producer is Leah Reese. Dennis.

[Jenna Fischer]

Office Ladies was mixed and mastered by Bill Schultz.

[Angela Kinsey]

Our theme song is Rubber Tree by Creed Bratt.

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