Second Drink: Crime Aid

Summary

Office Ladies – "Second Drink: Crime Aid"

April 13, 2026 | Hosts: Jenna Fischer & Angela Kinsey

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Episode Overview

This special ‘Second Drink’ episode dives into "Crime Aid" (Season 5, Episode 5) of The Office. Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey break down the episode’s iconic moments, behind-the-scenes stories from writer Charlie Grandy and director Jen Salata, and respond to fan favorite questions. The discussion is rich with background tidbits, deleted scene reveals, cast memories, and a humorous deep dive into auctions, relationships, and ‘The Office’ lore.

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Main Theme

The heart of this discussion is the episode "Crime Aid," where Michael and Holly's relationship leads to an office break-in, Michael attempts to right things with a chaotic charity auction, and the Dwight-Angela-Phyllis triangle takes a poignant turn. This rewatch is peppered with insights from those who lived it, as well as quirky off-topic but on-brand Office Ladies research and banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fan Favorite Moments

• Michael's CRIME AID Acronym:
  • [02:27] Michael explains "Crime Aid" stands for "Crime Reduces Innocence Makes Everyone Angry, I Declare."
    • Angela: “Charlie nailed it from the very beginning. No alts needed. When something is that funny…”
    • Jenna: “Every time you just said it, it made me laugh out loud.”
• Darryl's Music Mix-up:
  • [03:21] Michael gives Darryl a list of favorite Bruce Springsteen songs, but three are actually by Huey Lewis and the News.
• Dwight & Phyllis’ Emotional Scene:
  • Multiple fans wrote in about the touching Dwight-Phyllis parking lot interaction. Angela highlights the seriousness and powerful acting:
    • [05:09] Angela (as Phyllis): “I just think we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us.”

2. Guest Behind-the-Scenes Glimpses

• Writer Charlie Grandy ([08:23]):
  • Former SNL/Daily Show writer; wanted to spotlight Phyllis.
  • Writers would shuffle character names on index cards to pair up unusual combos—hence, the Dwight/Phyllis storyline.
• Director Jen Salata ([09:24]):
  • Her directorial debut—nervous but open about admitting what she didn’t know.
  • [10:48] Advice from Jeff Blitz: "No director sleeps the night before, and your adrenaline will kick in.”

3. Plot & Deleted Scene Deep Dives

A. Pam at Corporate ([07:33], [16:02])

• Pam works at Dunder Mifflin corporate (in NYC) to fund art school.
• Cut Scene:
  • Michael repeatedly calls Pam for a “New York slice.” She mails him a single, unwrapped slice of pizza.
  • Jenna: “Michael is so happy because he got his New York slice from Pam.”

B. Michael & Holly, Third-Date Nerves ([17:18], [25:10])

• Michael obsesses over Sex and the City’s ‘third date’ sex rule.
  • [17:56] Jenna links this trope to Charlotte’s speech on Sex and the City.
• Jenna Geek Segment:
  • [19:05] Referenced a Groupon survey—people average eight dates before sex; [20:15] Journal of Sex Research study on timing & relationship satisfaction.
  • Angela: “I started to look this up, and I had a feeling Jenna’s gonna look this up.”
• Holly matches Michael’s (awkward) honesty with enthusiasm for third-date sex—reinforcing their soulmate status.

C. Dwight & Phyllis: Odd Couple, Heartfelt Story ([24:34], [28:13])

• Analysis of their emotional scenes:
  • Phyllis encourages Dwight to let Angela go, noting her risk-averse nature.
  • Deleted Scene (Coal Museum):
    • Dwight and Angela’s first date was at the Anthracite Coal Museum (which they both visited repeatedly to correct tour guides).
    • Angela: “Talk about soulmates.” Jenna explains that the location is real and tied to previous Office storylines.

D. The Office Burglary & Auction ([35:38], [46:21])

• What Was Stolen?
  • Security tapes, computers, Oscar’s laptop, Kevin’s surge protector, Stanley’s sherry.
  • Oscar’s Jimmy Stewart Moment ([37:07]):
    • Angela: “He couldn’t get the line out...he went like this, ‘I want my laptop back!’”
• Auction Plot Explanation:
  • Insurance deductible was $5,000; stolen items didn’t meet it, so the auction was justified ([46:12]).
  • Auctioned Items:
    • Yoga lesson from Holly (Michael wins for $300).
    • Beers with the warehouse (Jim wins for $5).
    • Creed auctions himself.
    • Kevin offers tax help.
    • Hank’s blues CDs.
    • David Wallace’s Martha’s Vineyard weekend.
    • Phyllis’s hug (Bob Vance pays $1,000).
    • In deleted scenes: Meredith gives Oscar a new iPhone for $1, Kelly offers dance lessons.
  • Auction goal thermometer is absurdly high on purpose ([53:08]).

E. Jim, Roy, and Pam’s Trust Test ([60:21]–[63:41])

• Jim meets Roy at the bar, who sows insecurity about Pam’s art school nights out.
• Deleted Jim/Pam Scenes:
  • An entire subplot cut for time explained Jim’s spiral:
    • They coordinate watching The West Wing, but Pam cancels to go out.
    • Her “butt dial” voice mail suggests she stayed out all night—prompting Jim's worry, leading him to consider driving to NYC before turning back.

F. Michael & Holly’s Relationship Exposed ([66:09])

• David Wallace sees Michael and Holly kissing at work, unaware they’re a couple.
  • Jenna: “Look what happened when Michael dated Jan… But, David, what you don’t know is that these guys are soulmates.”
• Sets up “couples in crisis” for season 5 (Dwight/Angela, Jim/Pam, Michael/Holly).

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• CRIME AID Meaning
  • [02:27] "Crime reduces innocence makes everyone angry, I declare." – Michael Scott (via fans & Angela)
• Phyllis’s Wisdom
  • [05:09] “I just think we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us.” – Phyllis (quoted by Angela)
• Oscar’s Laptop
  • [37:20] “‘I want my laptop back!’ …What are you, Jimmy Stewart?” – Angela (about Oscar’s line read)
• Creed’s Chilling Confession
  • [44:50] “The last person who did that, they disappeared. And his name was Creed Bratton…his name, Creed Bratton.” – Creed
• Michael’s Auction Explanations
  • [45:24] “It’s called Crime Aid, and it’s like farm Aid, but instead of farms fighting AIDS, it’s gonna be us fighting our own poverty.”
• Angela’s Blame Game
  • [64:17] Scripted, but cut TH: “I’m not the type of person who breaks engagements. You should go talk to Pam.” – Angela (throwing Pam under the bus again)
• Michael’s Sex-Guilt Talking Head
  • [40:55/41:17] “So much for sex without consequences.” (alt line: “With great sex comes great responsibility.”)
• Deleted Scene: Michael Distracted
  • [26:57] “Hell, yeah. …Also, we have gnomes living in the wall.” – Michael, in a meeting, thinking about sex
• Meta Moment: Office Wikipedia Page
  • [49:35] “There is still no Wikipedia page for office robbery statistics…fans kept trying to make one, Wikipedia had to keep taking it down.” – Jenna

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Office Lore, Behind-the-Scenes, and Trivia

• Writing process: Creating the CRIME AID acronym took Charlie Grandy three hours ([50:07]).
• Filming elevator scenes was a practical feat using quick redressing for fake floor changes ([43:09]).
• Excised Oscar/ Kevin investigation subplot and Hank’s “record” joke set up Hank’s blues CD bit ([54:12]).
• Michael's “Springsteen tickets” never existed; the writers purposefully included this to continue the running gag of Michael’s false promises ([65:57]).
• Persistence by fans led to Wikipedia redirecting “office robbery statistics” to the show’s episode page ([49:35]).

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Fun Side Tangents

• Groupon’s Sex Survey ([19:05]):
  Survey said average 8 dates to sex; women waited 9, men 5.
• Real Auction Records ([55:22]):
  • Da Vinci’s “Salvatore Mundi” ($450M)
  • Marilyn Monroe’s dress ($4.8M)
  • Pink Star Diamond ($71M)
  • Scarlett Johansson’s used tissue ($2,050) ([59:40])
• Angela’s Conan O’Brien Internship:
  Held a card addressed “B” from Bruce Springsteen; never got to speak to him ([46:50]).

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Key Segment Timestamps

• [02:09] – Second Drink begins; fan favorite moments
• [07:33] – Episode summary & initial plot beats
• [08:23] – New writer & director introductions
• [16:02] – Pam in NYC, deleted "pizza" scene
• [17:56] – Michael’s obsession with “third date” and research detour
• [24:34] – Dwight & Phyllis storyline starts
• [35:38] – Discovering the office burglary
• [45:24] – Michael proposes the auction
• [52:17] – The full rundown of auctioned items
• [60:21] – Jim & Roy at the bar; deleted subplot explanation
• [64:49] – Dwight & Phyllis’ parking lot advice session
• [66:09] – Michael/Holly relationship discovered by David Wallace; season 5 couples in flux

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Memorable Office Ladies Banter

• Saggy Bottom & Long Crotch Pants ([07:01]): Jenna’s update on getting her pants tailored becomes a running joke.
• Auction Thermometer Gag ([53:05]): The goal is humorously out of reach—a signature Office sight gag.
• Power Surges ([39:14]): Jenna’s research into surge protectors after Kevin’s line.
• Confetti Invitations ([24:00]): Angela’s husband opens one for a baby shower; confetti everywhere.
• Fan Name Pairings for Couples ([68:06]): “Duangela, Jamie, Molly, or Hykel?”

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Conclusion

Jenna and Angela’s "Second Drink: Crime Aid" is a treasure trove for fans craving more than just a standard episode rewatch: it’s a blend of deep-dive analysis, heart, humor, deleted content, and pure Office nostalgia. They repeatedly salute the show’s ability to balance touching drama, awkwardness, and hilarity—on and off screen.

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Notable Quote to End:
[05:09] Angela (as Phyllis):
"I just think we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us."

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For more Office Ladies, behind-the-scenes gems, and to submit your favorite moments, visit officeladies.com.

Transcript

[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

Welcome to our second drink of crime Aid. We have some fantastic behind the scenes details from the writer of this episode, Charlie Grandy.

[Jenna Fischer]

And Jen Salata also shares about directing this episode. It was her first time directing on the Office. What a debut for her.

[Angela Kinsey]

I know.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's got so many classic moments.

[Angela Kinsey]

So many. Okay, let's start with the fan favorite moment from Lisa R. In Plumas Lake, California and Melanie D. From Austin, Texas. It's when Michael explains what Crime Aid stands for. Melanie said, ladies, when Michael says that crime aid means crime reduces innocence makes everyone angry, I declare I laugh every time. I'm curious if there were any alts for that. Well, we did share that the writer, Charlie Grandy came up with that acronym by himself. But I went to the candy bag alts because I was curious, and I went to the original table draft of the script to see if there were any other versions. And Melanie, Charlie nailed it from the very beginning. Crime reduces innocence makes everyone angry. I declare was in all of the early drafts of the scripts. No alts needed. When something is that funny, I mean,

[Jenna Fischer]

every time you just said it, it

[Angela Kinsey]

made me laugh out loud. I know.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's so ridiculous. I'm really tickled. Our next fan favorite moment comes from Cecilia W. In Shawnee, Kansas, who says, my favorite scene in Crime Aid is when Darryl says that Michael gave him a list of his favorite Bruce Springsteen songs, and then three of them were from Huey Lewis and the News. I have a playlist of songs featured on the show, and I laughed so hard thinking of the scene whenever the Huey Lewis songs come on.

[Angela Kinsey]

That is such a great idea to make a playlist of all the songs that were on the Office.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

And then you can, like, think about the episode they were in. That's very fun, Cecilia. I love that. All right, we did have a moment that got a fan mail flurry. And that was the scenes between DWight and Phyllis McKella L from Peoria, Arizona, loved that storyline. So did Christine R. From East Grand Rapids, Michigan. She said, I loved when Phyllis told Dwight, I think we all deserve someone who wants to be with us. It's just so sweet. And Soyeon Jae from South Korea, but they let us know they now live in Germany. Soyeon said, hello, ladies. Can you please talk more about that moment between Dwight and Phyllis? I know the Office is a sitcom, but Rain and Phyllis acting like how they portrayed an emotional moment where Dwight and Phyllis are both so hurt, was so powerful that I was awestruck. Well, so Yeon, we also love this scene. We describe it in our breakdown, but we didn't play it. And I really think we should hear it.

[Jenna Fischer]

Listen, she ignored my ultimatum. Now what?

[Angela Kinsey]

Now you move on.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay, fine, I've moved on. Now how do I get her back?

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, Dwight, I don't think you do. I think you've got your answer.

[Jenna Fischer]

Wait, that's it? That's your advice? I thought you had some kind of big master plan.

[Angela Kinsey]

I just think we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, I get it. You're trying to secure your place as head of the party planning committee. You're just being selfish and you slap like a girl. I mean, it's. It's one of those scenes that happens on the show sometimes where you're expecting it to end as a joke or a comedic moment, but it doesn't. It's heavy. It's more dramatic.

[Angela Kinsey]

It is more dramatic. And it's always done so well by our writers where they set it up in a joke way. And that's what fools you. It's like he gets her to go to the parking lot to have this conversation by telling her she has a flat tire. Right.

[Jenna Fischer]

And she's actually made it a flat tire as well.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. And she's like, you could have just said you wanted to talk.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

Like we didn't have to do this. And then it gets dramatic, and then you see Dwight's heart break, and then she's actually telling him things that are important, like, you gotta let it go.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. And it's not a joke.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's not a joke.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, listen, thank you, everyone who wrote in. You can head over to OfficeLadies.com and submit your favorite moments for our upcoming second drinks. And now, here is our second drink of Crime Aid. I'm Jenna Fisher.

[Angela Kinsey]

And I'm Angela Kinsey.

[Jenna Fischer]

We were on the Office together, and we're best friends. And now we're doing the ultimate Office Rewatch podcast just for you.

[Angela Kinsey]

Each week, we will break down an episode of the Office and give exclusive behind the scenes stories that only two people who were there can tell you.

[Jenna Fischer]

We're the Office ladies. Hello, everybody.

[Angela Kinsey]

Hi, you guys.

[Jenna Fischer]

I have some big news that I want to share with you. Angela. What? Remember when we talked about my long crotch pants?

[Angela Kinsey]

How could I forget long crotch?

[Jenna Fischer]

I had them altered.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, you had your crotch altered?

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, I had the waist altered.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

I took an inch out of the back of the waist, and now they

[Angela Kinsey]

fit your crotch right.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yep. I'm wearing them today. I want you to stand up.

[Angela Kinsey]

Let me see. She got the crotch right. She got the crotch right. Now it fits you right in the butt, too.

[Jenna Fischer]

It does.

[Angela Kinsey]

Because before, you had saggy bottom and long crotch.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know, but now I fixed it. And I. Since I brought the problem to the pot, I thought I'd bring the solution to the pot.

[Angela Kinsey]

I'm here for it.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, we have a very fun episode today. It is Crime Aid, Season 5, Episode 5, written by Charlie Grande and directed by Jen Salata. Here's your summary. Pam is working at corporate in New York City to help pay for her life at art school. Holly and Michael take their relationship to the next level, resulting in a burglary at the office. Michael hosts an auction to recoup the valuables lost. And Dwight turns to Phyllis for advice on how to win Angela back.

[Angela Kinsey]

I loved everything. Dwight and Phyllis, what a great combo. That's the thing the writers did. They like to mix it up. I was here for it.

[Jenna Fischer]

I absolutely loved it as well. That moves me in to fast fact number one. Do it. New writer alert.

[Angela Kinsey]

New writer alert.

[Jenna Fischer]

Charlie Grandy. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. It's another new writer alert. So before working on the Office, Charlie was a stand up comedian and he wrote for the Daily show with Jon Stewart and Saturday Night Live.

[Angela Kinsey]

He's super funny.

[Jenna Fischer]

Super funny. After the Office, he went on to write for the Mindy project. And Angela, Charlie said that one of the main inspirations for this episode was to highlight Phyllis.

[Angela Kinsey]

Charlie, you did it. And I love that you love Phyllis.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. He said this was one of those situations where they wanted to do a storyline with an unusual pairing. Remember, they used to just put people's names on cards and pair them up. This was Dwight. Phyllis.

[Angela Kinsey]

I love it.

[Jenna Fischer]

This is what happens when you put the Dwight and Phyllis cards together.

[Angela Kinsey]

You know what card never came together?

[Jenna Fischer]

What?

[Angela Kinsey]

Jim.

[Jenna Fischer]

Angela, you're so right. You're so right. Fast fact number two. This is the first episode that Jen Salata directed.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, Jen, that's right. Yeah. I mean, guys, it was so much fun to have Jen on set. She was such a laugher. She was such a blast.

[Jenna Fischer]

She was also one of the showrunners this season with Paul Lieberstein. She'd been on the show for a while, and I don't know if you remember, but during Beach Games, she talked about how Harold Ramis really encouraged her to direct one day.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

And this was kind of the. That moment. Yeah, this was where it led. So we reached out to Jen and we have some really fun stuff to sprinkle through the episode. I asked her specifically, okay, what was it like directing your first episode? And she said the thing that, like, really stressed her out the most was that she thought directors had to have all the answers. She was really worried that someone would ask her a question about a prop or how to set up a scene and that she wouldn't know. And she said someone gave her the advice to just kind of like, fake it till you make it Sort of thing. But Jen was like, I can't. I can't fake it. If I don't know something I'm gonna shout out, I don't know.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, Jen wears every emotion across her face. Right. You know how Jen feels about something.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, I have to say, I really respect a person who says, I don't know.

[Angela Kinsey]

I do too.

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't need fake it till you make it.

[Angela Kinsey]

I would much rather just know truly how someone's feeling. I don't need, like, the whatever.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

Thing the filter people put on.

[Jenna Fischer]

I agree. Well, she also said that Jeff Blitz gave her the advice, don't worry if you don't sleep the night before your first day of shooting. No director sleeps the night before, and your adrenaline will kick in. And she said that was absolutely true. She did not sleep, and her adrenaline did kick in. So she was good.

[Angela Kinsey]

I bet. I can't sleep, like, before a big day ever. I'm, like, up all through the night.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know. That happens to me as an actor the night before my first day on a new project especially.

[Angela Kinsey]

I'm so nervous the day before a big trip. I'm always like, okay, did I pack my charger? Got it. Underwear? I don't know. Did I pack underwear? I don't know.

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't know.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, my God. I gotta get up. I gotta go.

[Jenna Fischer]

Look,

[Angela Kinsey]

I can't, like, sleep the night before anything big.

[Jenna Fischer]

All right, are you ready for fast fact number three?

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes.

[Jenna Fischer]

Roy is back.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, yes, he is.

[Jenna Fischer]

He comes back in this episode, and it's a huge surprise. It's so well done. The writers said they were always looking for ways to bring David back.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, I hadn't seen this episode in a long time, and when I watched it and he walked in, I was like, oh, my God, Roy's here. And now he's with Jim. Oh, no, no, no. Like, I completely forgot.

[Jenna Fischer]

I have a show Bible summary of Roy Anderson. Remember, we never did a show Bible goodbye for him. So I thought maybe let's remember Roy since we're going to see him this week.

[Angela Kinsey]

Let's do it.

[Jenna Fischer]

Roy Anderson worked in the warehouse at Dunder Mifflin. He was engaged to Pam for three years. They went to high school together. He was on the football team, and he hoped they would go to Mexico for their honeymoon. He has waverunners that he bought with his brother, which they eventually sold at a loss. He has a truck. He would carpool to work with Pam. He thinks Angelo's kind of hot. He plays fantasy football, and he is eventually Fired after he tries to attack Jim, he apologizes to Pam and moves on. Until this episode when he runs into Jim at a bar and it is revealed he's been working at Vitamin World.

[Angela Kinsey]

Vitamin Shop is what his shirt said.

[Jenna Fischer]

It did? I thought it said Vitamin World.

[Angela Kinsey]

It said Vitamin Shoppie. S, H, O, P, P, E. Hmm.

[Jenna Fischer]

I'm gonna revisit that. I guess I'll take another look at his shirt. Although I do believe you.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, now I'm having that moment. Like, wait. I'm pretty sure it's a Vitamin Shop.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, dear.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, Lord. Timecode.

[Jenna Fischer]

We need a time code. Well, lady, that's all I got.

[Angela Kinsey]

I've got some fun tidbits. There was good deleted scenes for this one.

[Jenna Fischer]

All right, well, should we take a break and then we'll get to it?

[Angela Kinsey]

Let's get to it.

[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com office ladies,

[Jenna Fischer]

We are back, and Pam is working in an office. What's going on? Why isn't she in art school? I'm confused.

[Angela Kinsey]

It looks a lot like a paper company.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, that's because it is. It is Dunder Mifflin corporate. She gets a phone call. It's Michael.

[Angela Kinsey]

Of course it's Michael. Because now he knows where she is all the time. All the time.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, he knows how to reach her. Part of the time, at least. There was a missing scene in this little runner of Pam working in New York. At one point, Michael's gonna call her and ask her for a slice of pizza. She's like, michael.

[Angela Kinsey]

And she's like, michael, if I get you a slice of pizza, will you stop calling? Basically. And then the next scene is Michael opening up like a FedEx package. And there's one slice of pizza not wrapped in anything, like, loose. And he starts eating it, and it's sort of come apart in the packaging. And he's so happy because he got his New York slice from Pam.

[Jenna Fischer]

I mean, that is so gross. How long did it take to get there? But I love the idea that Pam, sort of passively, aggressively or whatever, I don't know, mailed Michael a slice of pizza and he was delighted. It was deleted. Unfortunately.

[Angela Kinsey]

Unfortunately. And poor Steve had to eat that pizza quite a bit. And he had huge bites of it. Like, his cheeks were all full of pizza.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, now we move into the episode and Michael and Holly arrive to work. They are glowing.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, they've been super flirty. They've had two dates, and tonight they're gonna go out and it's gonna be their third date.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. And Michael says, in America, the third date is usually when you have sex. And he hopes Holly agrees with that. If she starts having sex with me, I'll know for sure is what he says.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

So lady, Michael's whole thing where he's talking about the third date is when you have sex. I was intrigued because I remember the show Sex and the City.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well. Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

Do you remember that? Of course. Okay. So in Sex and the City, there's this scene where Charlotte gives a big speech to the group of friends where she says she never has sex until the Third date, no matter what. This is her rule.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

There was actually a book called the rules that women were supposed to follow in order to, like, nab a man.

[Angela Kinsey]

I remember that book.

[Jenna Fischer]

Remember the rule.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, God.

[Jenna Fischer]

Right? I know. So crazy. So that was kind of, I think, the inspiration for this idea that you wait till the third date.

[Angela Kinsey]

And doesn't Michael love Sex and the City?

[Jenna Fischer]

He does love Sex and the City, so I think that's what he is quoting Charlotte.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah, he's quoting Charlotte.

[Jenna Fischer]

Twisted it.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. To America.

[Jenna Fischer]

Charlotte is like, I never have sex till the third date. And Michael. Michael is like, I get laid on the third date. Yeah, that's how he heard that. Well, it got me curious. I Googled, is there an ideal amount of time to date before sex?

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay, this is what's so funny is that I started to look this up, and I was like, I just have a feeling Jenna's gonna look this up.

[Jenna Fischer]

I looked it up. Are you ready for what I found?

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, no. Go.

[Jenna Fischer]

It was super interesting. It was similar to our sex timer conversation. There was a Groupon survey of 2,000 adults in the United States.

[Angela Kinsey]

Wait, Groupon?

[Jenna Fischer]

Groupon.

[Angela Kinsey]

Like, what you sign up for to get, like, better tickets to Disneyland. Like Groupon?

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. I was so confused why Groupon was asking people this question. Okay, but it's their survey. They wanted to know how long people waited to have sex with a new partner. Now, I'm just saying, if your Groupon app, like, sent you this question, would you answer it? I would not answer. I'd be like, groupon. This is none of your business.

[Angela Kinsey]

Groupon. Stay in your lane.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. Well, here's their result. The average answer was eight dates with women waiting nine and men waiting five. They also found that men were nine times more likely to be okay with having sex on the first date.

[Angela Kinsey]

You think?

[Jenna Fischer]

All right, have a new study. Here's the other study. This one feels a little bit more legit.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, it's not Groupon.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's not Groupon.

[Angela Kinsey]

You don't get free steak if, like, eight of you sign up.

[Jenna Fischer]

What other surveys has Groupon been having?

[Angela Kinsey]

Sex Therapists of America log on to Groupon. Oh, my gosh.

[Jenna Fischer]

All right, this one is from the Journal of sex Research.

[Angela Kinsey]

Sounds a little bit more official. No offense.

[Jenna Fischer]

Groupon also maybe made up, but they analyzed nearly 11,000 unmarried adults who were in serious or steady relationships.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

They asked them, at what point in your relationship did you have sex? 51% waited a few weeks.

[Angela Kinsey]

Mm.

[Jenna Fischer]

38% had sex either on the first date. Or within two weeks, 11% had sex before their first date. What?

[Angela Kinsey]

How do you do that?

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't know. Like, they had sex and then they went on a date. Oh, my gosh. So this isn't exactly saying number of dates, but more like period of time.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

They also found that the timing of people's first sexual encounter did not impact their feelings about the relationship Relationship in the long run in a meaningful way. So everybody was happy whether they banged before their first date or three weeks later.

[Angela Kinsey]

That book, the rules on how to nab your man. That would just throw their theories out the window.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, that's right. Journal of sex research. There was one thing. They said that the people who had sex earlier tended to be slightly less satisfied now in their relationship.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, so there was nothing to, like, look forward to?

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, that was one of their theories. One of the theories was that since they'd been having sex longer, you know, that early sex was maybe more exciting. And since they'd been at it for a bit longer since they started earlier, maybe it's lost its shine. I don't know. Everything I read, Ange said the best thing you can do is figure out what sex means to you. If sex means physical pleasure, then find someone who agrees. If sex means I'm in a committed relationship, find a partner that agrees, and then you'll have, like, a really good sexual encounter. That was the advice.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, Jenna, at the end of all of your research, I have found nuggets from Groupon and the sex journal people. What?

[Jenna Fischer]

Journal of sex research.

[Angela Kinsey]

Thank you. All good nuggets there.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. Well, listen, while Michael was obsessed with the idea that he might get to have sex tonight, Andy is passing out save the date cards. Andy is excited because he's getting married.

[Angela Kinsey]

He's very excited. He's calling everyone like, D money. J Money. At 2 minutes, 44 seconds, Dwight opens this invitation. He's clearly concerned that there's a save the date. When he opens the envelope, all this confetti comes out.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know.

[Angela Kinsey]

And Rain's reaction, as Dwight to it was so funny. But that is my husband's reaction to it. We were invited to a baby shower, and we opened the envelope. Now, listen, I'm expecting the confetti and some wedding invitations now it's become a thing, right? You open the envelope and little wedding bells and things come out of it. I was not expecting confetti out of a baby shower. We opened the envelope, and my husband doesn't open anything gently. So he kind of tore into the envelope and all These little bitty baby bottles and baby carriages and little things just, like, flew up in the air. And my husband was like, why do they do that?

[Jenna Fischer]

I'm with Josh. Welcome to my wedding. As I make a mess on your floor. I mean, I'm already. I'm annoyed by your wedding or your baby shower.

[Angela Kinsey]

It cracked me up.

[Jenna Fischer]

You know what I mean? Don't mess up my house while you invite me to something.

[Angela Kinsey]

Don't mess up my area with your festivities.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Angela Kinsey]

I don't know. I'm on the fence about it. Part of me thought it was fun, and the other part was like, oh, no, I gotta clean that up.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, I always lean toward. I have to clean it up.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, we're about to have a little bit of what I call breaking the wall in the break room.

[Jenna Fischer]

Talk to me about it.

[Angela Kinsey]

Are you confused?

[Jenna Fischer]

Slightly.

[Angela Kinsey]

3 minutes, 3 seconds. While Dwight is whittling a knife with a knife. While Dwight is whittling a knife with a knife, Phyllis wants to know if he's okay. Does he want to talk about it? And she looks right at camera. She goes, you know, I know. You know, they know. Phyllis. Sassy Phyllis.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

Breaking that fourth wall and bringing the camera crew into it.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. And this is the beginning of that delicious Dwight Phyllis runner.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes.

[Jenna Fischer]

That is going to play out so beautifully. At the same time, Michael and Holly are planning their date.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, Michael just blurts out. They're talking about where they're going to eat. Maybe they go to the food court. And he's like, well, I mean, it depends if we're going to have sex later. And then he was like, ah. And then, I mean, this is like how, you know, Holly is his soulmate. I mean, I know we see it over and over again, but she's like, hell, yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know. You're so worried that Michael has messed it up, but he didn't, because it's his soulmate.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's his SoulMate. So at 3 minutes, 17 seconds for our background catch, folks, did you see the taco Bandito menu?

[Jenna Fischer]

No, I didn't see it.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah, it's over Holly's shoulder. I looked it up. That is an actual restaurant in Scranton. It's on 211 N. Main Ave. In Scranton. And that was Phil Shea getting us all those menus.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes, thanks to his n from Carrie Bennett, our wardrobe designer.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's right. Taco Bandito.

[Jenna Fischer]

Working together to make it specific.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, Michael is super excited about the fact that Holly is on board Third date sex. He has a talking Head where he says he'll probably get soup.

[Jenna Fischer]

You know, something light.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. Well, Jenna, there were some deleted scenes that really showed how once Holly says, hell yeah, Michael cannot think about anything else the rest of the day.

[Jenna Fischer]

I believe it.

[Angela Kinsey]

He is so distracted because he knows that he's gonna have sex with Holly. There is a scene between Michael, Darryl, and Angela. Like I never had scenes with Daryl and Michael. And Daryl and Angela are going over the warehouse budget, and Michael is just zoned out, thinking about Hollywood. Sam, can you play it?

[Jenna Fischer]

The pilot truck's got a busted caster. We're still waiting on those safety goggles. And we need a new forklift.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, I can take maintenance cash and put it in a supply budget if Michael's okay with it. Michael, do you approve that?

[Jenna Fischer]

Hell, yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

Fine.

[Jenna Fischer]

Also, we have gnomes living in the wall.

[Angela Kinsey]

You mean rats.

[Jenna Fischer]

No, I mean little scary men with red hats. I think they're drinking all our soda pop. You okay with that, Mike? Soda pop. Soda pop.

[Angela Kinsey]

I don't get it, Jenna. In the whole meeting, all he can say is, hell, yeah, and soda pop. And he just looks so goofy through the whole meeting. Like Holly has just said, hell, yeah, and that's all Michael can process. Hell yeah, Angela.

[Jenna Fischer]

I really liked this scene in the break room between Dwight and Phyllis when Dwight is telling Phyllis all of the things that Angela taught him in life, his time with her. Angela introduced him to pasteurized milk. To sheets.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

To presents on your birthday. And preventative medicine.

[Angela Kinsey]

And monotheism.

[Jenna Fischer]

And monotheism. Look at all the things you've done. And then Dwight, he finally breaks down. He gets a little vulnerable. He's like, why is she marrying him? And Phyllis says Angela's not much of a risk taker, and Andy's not really a risk.

[Angela Kinsey]

She summed it up perfectly. She did. Angela took a risk on Dwight and she loved him. And he put her cat in the freezer. She's not going to do that again.

[Jenna Fischer]

She's not.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, Jenna, there was a deleted scene between Dwight and Phyllis that would just further this sort of conversation. But I'm sure it got cut for time.

[Jenna Fischer]

I saw it in the script, and it was so funny.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's so funny. And they did actually shoot it, and it is in the deleted scenes. So this conversation continues. Dwight and Phyllis are now in the parking lot. They're on the bench by the warehouse, and Dwight is eating a huge sandwich. And they're talking. And Dwight shares with Phyllis what he and Angela did on their very first date. This is so funny to Me. Here's what their first date was. They went to the Anthracite Coal Museum tour.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. Even though they had both been several times, they pretended like they'd never been so they could get all the extra information and special perks of the tour from the tour guide. Even though the tour guides recognized both of them because they'd been there so many times. And then he said, yeah, and we corrected them when they got their information wrong.

[Jenna Fischer]

Talk about soulmates. Soulmates.

[Angela Kinsey]

These two want to go to the Anthracite Coal Museum tour, which they've done before, so that they can tell the tour guide when they get things wrong. Well, I looked it up, and, Jenna, there is a Pennsylvania Anthracite Heritage Museum. The museum is part of an anthracite museum complex created in 1971 by the Pennsylvania Historical and Museum Commission. But, lady, there's three. There are three museums and one historical site located in their communities. Jenna, maybe put this on our list of places to go.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay.

[Angela Kinsey]

The Pennsylvania Anthracite Heritage Museum and Scranton Iron Furnaces, both in Scranton. Eckley Miners Village near Weatherly, and the Museum of Anthracite Mining, overlooking the community of Ashland. Plus, there are a few museum exhibits also located at the companion Lackawanna Coal Mine Tour.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay, so the Lackawanna Coal Mine tour is where Michael wanted to take the office as a reward in healthcare in the mine shaft. So this is connected.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes. So hopefully I said all those names correctly, but try saying Lackawanna coal mine tour 10 times fast.

[Jenna Fischer]

I'm going to do it tonight.

[Angela Kinsey]

This is apparently one of Dwight and Angela's favorite places to go. And they went on their first date.

[Jenna Fischer]

That is some very sweet backstory into this couple. Now we have a scene where Michael and Holly are trying to kill time before their dinner reservation. So they're playing crazy eights. So cute. But as they get ready to leave and they're walking out, Holly says she forgot her keys. They need to go back in. But then she says she didn't forget her keys.

[Angela Kinsey]

Not only that, when they go back in, she turns around and locks the door and gives a look to camera.

[Jenna Fischer]

Mm. She's ready to get it on. She wants to make out in the stairway.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

She's worried. We can hear them, though.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. But Michael says, don't worry. Just turn this dial all the way this way, and you'll turn everything off. And now they're just so loud. He's done it the wrong way.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's really pretty amazing. The following morning, people are arriving to work. Michael and Holly are glowing but there's police outside the building. There has been a burglary.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

Stuff has been stolen. Yeah. We had a fan question.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

From Lachlan A. When Michael and Holly come into the office in the morning, we saw a police car, but we never see any police officers. Was this a continuity error?

[Angela Kinsey]

No. There were police officers, but they're in the deleted scenes.

[Jenna Fischer]

That's right. And there's a really funny scene between Dwight and a police officer. In the script, it was really simple. Dwight is asking the police officer, do you need any crime scene tape?

[Angela Kinsey]

And the police officer is like, you have crime scene tape? And Dwight looks at him like, duh, do you need it?

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, exactly. So we did have police officers, but they got cut out.

[Angela Kinsey]

They are in the deleted scenes. That little scene is there and it's very funny.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, there has been quite a robbery. A lot was taken.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, I think we should take a break and when we come back, let's figure out what was taken, who did it, what's happening?

[Jenna Fischer]

What is happening? Lately I have been thinking a lot about choices, but especially about how good it feels when you make a decision that really works for you. Maybe you're committing to a long term goal like saving money for a new car, a future home, a vacation.

[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

State Farm personal price plan can help you create an affordable price. When you choose to bundle home and auto insurance, you have options to choose from to help best fit your needs.

[Angela Kinsey]

Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with their personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

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[Angela Kinsey]

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[Jenna Fischer]

We are back. There's been a burglary at the office. Angela, what was stolen? Tell us. What are we missing?

[Angela Kinsey]

How do you say burglary?

[Jenna Fischer]

Burglary. Burglary.

[Angela Kinsey]

Burglary. It's a weird word.

[Jenna Fischer]

What did I say?

[Angela Kinsey]

I don't know.

[Jenna Fischer]

Burglary? Or did I say burglary?

[Angela Kinsey]

It sounded like you were like, burglar, Larry. I don't know.

[Jenna Fischer]

You know what? It is a weird word. Burglary.

[Angela Kinsey]

Burglary.

[Jenna Fischer]

Burglary. It sounds like gibberish, like, oh, my God, what happened to your house? I had a burglar. Yeah, it's like a thing you say

[Angela Kinsey]

frantically, and if you read it exactly as it's spelled, it's burglary. I had a burglary.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, what was stolen in the burglary?

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay, according to Dwight, there were security tapes taken, obviously to cover the thief's tracks. He also thinks that maybe the robbers were vintage HP computer collectors. So I'm guessing a few of the computers are gone. A lot of blank checks. Angela is calling in to the bank to cancel them. Oscar's laptop, Kevin's surge protector. And in deleted scenes, we find out Stanley had a delicious bottle of cream sherry that he was saving to drink on his last day at Dunder Mifflin. So now he's gonna have to replace that.

[Jenna Fischer]

Now, Angela, correct me if I'm wrong, but Oscar has this line where he says, I have to get my laptop back.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, no, lady, I have way. Hold up. Oh, my God. I'm flipping pages. The line she's talking about is going to happen at 8 minutes, 7 seconds.

[Jenna Fischer]

Now, didn't you guys think he sounded like Jimmy Stewart?

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay, there is a blooper. Oscar says, I don't want to talk. I want my laptop back. And for whatever reason, when we were filming this, it was after lunch, and Oscar had to walk out to, like, the main bullpen and he had to say, I don't want to talk, I want my laptop back. He couldn't get the line out. And when he finally got the line out, he went like this, I don't want to talk, I want my laptop back.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

And I said in the moment, in character, I said, what are you, Jimmy Stewart? And the place lost it. We all lost it. Because he was like, I want my laptop back.

[Jenna Fischer]

But then if I remember correctly, once he'd done it, he couldn't get rid of it.

[Angela Kinsey]

He couldn't get rid of it. And then everybody jumped on it. So then Rain and John and everyone started going, I want my laptop back.

[Jenna Fischer]

Okay, so I was not there when you filmed this scene, but when I came back, you guys saying, I want my laptop back. That went on for years.

[Angela Kinsey]

Years.

[Jenna Fischer]

That was a bit. And I was like, what is it? What happened?

[Angela Kinsey]

And Oscar was like, f you guys. But he was just like. He got tongue tied after lunch. Listen, that happened on our show. Big bullpen scenes after lunch. We would get loopy. You know what lived on forever too is when I said, you send us all these filthy emails. John Krasinski said that to me for years. Were they filthy? I want my laptop back.

[Jenna Fischer]

Your filthy emails.

[Angela Kinsey]

Your filthy emails.

[Jenna Fischer]

I want you to know that Kevin is really, really concerned about his surge protector. He's worried about surges. This sent me down a road. I needed to know more about power surges and I am not going to bore you with everything I read. I will give you this one nugget because I didn't know it.

[Angela Kinsey]

I'm telling you, I want a screen grab of your search engine. I know, I'm going to frame it.

[Jenna Fischer]

I know. I thought power surges were just like giant things that happened. Like some lightning strikes or something. And I need a surge protector because of like, you know, big moments.

[Angela Kinsey]

Can't they happen just because you have too much stuff plugged in? Like I blow dried my hair one time and it blew out the outlet.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. There's something called mini surges and that happens every time your air conditioner kicks on. Like you get a mini surge and it can slowly damage your appliances over time because your house can get like a buildup of mini surges. So Kevin is right. You really need to surge. Protect your house. I also found out you can get a whole house surge suppressor. They connect to your fuse box. I don't even know if I have one. I need to find out because I got so worried about surges after my search.

[Angela Kinsey]

I feel like you would Know if you had a surge suppressor?

[Jenna Fischer]

I mean, we probably do. That's Lee's department. He handles that stuff.

[Angela Kinsey]

Right.

[Jenna Fischer]

You know, we divide things up more traditionally in that way. If it's electrical or yard oriented, that's on Lee. So I should ask him.

[Angela Kinsey]

I'm the yard person at my house. I love the yard. I love being outside. I love to garden. I know our sprinkler system. I said it. I'm like, station four is looking wonky. Let's fix that.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, that's on Lee. I've got my allergies. I'm inside.

[Angela Kinsey]

You're an inside person. Well, listen, Michael and Holly are starting to connect the dots. They're like, oh, no. Oh, no.

[Jenna Fischer]

Wait.

[Angela Kinsey]

Did we lock? Did you lock it? I didn't lock it. Oh, no. This is their fault.

[Jenna Fischer]

So much for sex without consequences.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes, that is Michael's talking head. But, Jenna, there was an alt in the script that made me laugh so hard. There was one extra line, and this was the other version of this talking head. So much for sex without consequences. Well, I guess with great sex comes great responsibility.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

And that one was deleted.

[Jenna Fischer]

That is such a good line. I know. During all of this mayhem, Jim is listening to a message from Pam. It's a butt dial message. It goes on and on. Clearly, she went out last night. Sounds like she had another volcano.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah, she's out partying with her art school pals. They're whipping it up. Whipping it. Whooping it. Whooping it up.

[Jenna Fischer]

I think they're whooping it up. Yeah. And Jim is just kind of like future mother of my children right there.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yep.

[Jenna Fischer]

Which is what Lee said when I got home from my bachelorette party that you hosted Angela and I was throwing up in the bushes. You said, you're the future mother of my children. I couldn't be prouder of you. Angela says she's never felt safe here. Andy says she's safe with him because he's a very good screamer.

[Angela Kinsey]

That made me laugh so hard. Dwight has grabbed Phyllis. They're in the elevator. He had to talk to her right away. He says he knows that Angela loves him. She's practically told him so.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, Phyllis says then you need to offer her an ultimatum.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's what Bob did to Phyllis.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. He said she had to stop talking to her sister so much.

[Angela Kinsey]

Phyllis. I know.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, Jen Salata shared that shooting this elevator scene was crazy because we do not actually have a working elevator. Remember, we've shared before that if we went into the elevator, we would shoot Part of the scene. And then we would have to relocate to the other building where the bottom of the elevator is.

[Angela Kinsey]

Right.

[Jenna Fischer]

And the lobby.

[Angela Kinsey]

And there were always guys sort of standing on either side off camera with rope. And they would pull the doors open and they would shut the doors. That is a pulley system door, you guys. There was nothing electric about that elevator.

[Jenna Fischer]

It is super fakey, fake old timey. Just pulleys and people and ropes making this box of wood turn into an elevator. Well, she said that they didn't want to relocate, so they did this crazy thing, which is so amazing. What they did was while Phyllis and Dwight are inside the elevator doing the scene, a bunch of crew members came out and redressed the front part hallway of the elevator. So they came in, they put carpeting over the tile, and they added a potted plant so that when the doors opened again and Phyllis stepped out, it would look like a new floor. They were in the correct place. And Jen said, if you look closely, when Phyllis gets out of the elevator, the plant is still moving because they had to just like, slap that plant down really quickly and book it out of there.

[Angela Kinsey]

That, to me, feels like theater. That's what it's like when you do a play. It's like.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

You have three seconds to reset. Dress the area while you're putting a blouse on over the other blouse. And then a bunch of guys are sliding a sofa onto the stage. And then you. You walk out and the lights come up.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes, totally. And, you know, they had to do multiple takes of this. So that day at work, there were these people who just like, threw down carpeting and picked up carpeting and threw down a plant and picked up a plant over and over again and grabbed

[Angela Kinsey]

the ropes and pulled the elevator and shot the elevator.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes. Aw, Movie magic. Sometimes it's just practical.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yep.

[Jenna Fischer]

Meanwhile, there is a lot of hubbub about the burglary. Holly says her door is open if anyone wants to talk. Creed has his amazing talking head.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's so good.

[Jenna Fischer]

He says nobody steals from him and gets away with it. You know, the last person who did that, they disappeared. And his name was Creed Bratton.

[Angela Kinsey]

My favorite part, though, is he goes his name Creed Bratton.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

He, like, whispers his own name.

[Jenna Fischer]

Clearly he has killed Creed Bratton and taken his identity. What's happening?

[Angela Kinsey]

That's what you're led to believe.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, Michael's gonna make everything right. He's gonna call a conference room meeting and he has an idea. He's gonna have a charity auction.

[Angela Kinsey]

Right.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's Gonna be called Crime Aid, and it's like farm Aid. But instead of farms fighting aids, it's gonna be us fighting our own poverty.

[Angela Kinsey]

No one likes the idea, but Phyllis. Phyllis is like, yeah, we did this in my sorority. We can, you know, auction off fun things like tennis lessons.

[Jenna Fischer]

We had a few people write in. They were wondering, why do we have to have a charity auction? Like, wouldn't the insurance cover the cost of the missing items?

[Angela Kinsey]

I think this is a good question.

[Jenna Fischer]

Charlie Grandy, our writer, said that there was a scene that got Cut for Time in which Michael would have explained that their Insurance has a $5,000 deductible for personal items. They lost less than $5,000 worth of stuff, so none of that was covered.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's true. It's a scene between Michael and Holly, and Holly explains to Michael that personal items are not covered.

[Jenna Fischer]

And so that is the reason for this big auction.

[Angela Kinsey]

As they're sort of discussing this in the conference room, Angela's like, who would come to this? Michael's like, I don't know. Pedestrians. Looky loos.

[Jenna Fischer]

That was my favorite. Looky lose.

[Angela Kinsey]

Looky loos. Maybe Bruce Springsteen fans. Everyone's like, what?

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. Michael says he has scored Springsteen tickets, and he's going to auction them off.

[Angela Kinsey]

Jenna, I have a Springsteen story.

[Jenna Fischer]

What is it?

[Angela Kinsey]

You guys know I interned on Conan o', Brien, right?

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

In my early twenties. So I was Max Weinberg's intern. Max was the band leader for the Conan o' Brien show, But Boss fans know that he was also the drummer for Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. So here I am, Jenna. I'm this young intern. Max comes out of his office and says, hey, Bruce Springsteen's gonna be calling me. I'm gonna be down in the studio. I'm gonna need you to forward his call to me. And I was like, what? What? Oh, my gosh. And I was like, cold sweat. He was like, yeah, he should call, you know, while I'm down there. I was like, okay. I sat by that phone. I had to pee. I was like, I can't go pee. I can't go pee.

[Jenna Fischer]

Bruce Springsteen is calling.

[Angela Kinsey]

I know. And then I was like, wait, I don't know how to forward. No one showed me that. I sat there sweating it. And then Max comes back up, and I was like, bruce never called. I sat here the whole time, Jenna. I almost peed my pants.

[Jenna Fischer]

He never called.

[Angela Kinsey]

He was like, oh, well, he might call later today. Sometime today. I was like, sometime today? I thought I, like, couldn't leave My phone right then and there. And then one time, someone dropped off a package from Bruce for Max, and there was a little card on the outside, and it just said B, like 2 max B. I was like, oh, my God, I am holding a card that Bruce Springsteen wrote on. That B is him. That's pretty cool.

[Jenna Fischer]

Wait, but you never got to hear his voice on the phone.

[Angela Kinsey]

Jenna, this is not the best story. I just want you to know I waited for a call from him. I almost got to talk to him. It didn't happen. But I did get to hold a piece of paper he wrote on.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, I got to see Bruce Springsteen live on Broadway when he did his Broadway show, and it was fantastic.

[Angela Kinsey]

Did you talk to him? No.

[Jenna Fischer]

And I've also never held a card that says dash B, so I think you're closer.

[Angela Kinsey]

I'm closer to meeting the boss.

[Jenna Fischer]

You are. Dwight is gonna take Phyllis advice. He is going to give Angela an ultimatum. She has until 6:14pm to break up with Andy, apologize, and start dating Dwight,

[Angela Kinsey]

or you don't get any of this. We could not get through it. It's in the bloopers. We both started laughing. It was so ridiculous.

[Jenna Fischer]

This is a fantastic ultimatum, though.

[Angela Kinsey]

I know.

[Jenna Fischer]

Angela, is it time for the auction?

[Angela Kinsey]

It is time for crime reduces, in a sense, makes everyone angry. I declare yes.

[Jenna Fischer]

Michael says there may not be a Wikipedia entry for office robbery statistics yet its victims are standing strong together. So there is still no Wikipedia page for office robbery statistics. And I'll tell you why.

[Angela Kinsey]

Because you looked it up.

[Jenna Fischer]

After the show aired, fans kept trying to make a Wikipedia page for office robbery statistics, and Wikipedia had to keep taking it down. So now, if you type in office robbery statistics, Wikipedia will direct you to the episode crime Aid. And there is a note that says office robbery statistics was redirected to this page to prevent further attempted creations.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, my gosh, you guys are persistent.

[Jenna Fischer]

Also, we had a fan question from Brandon L. Who wanted to know who wrote the acronym crime aid for the show. Guys, this was all Charlie Grandy. He said he spent three hours writing various combinations, and he settled on this one.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, I love that. It took him three hours. That just feeds my soul. Because how many times Jenna, have you. And I sat down to write something and I'm like, well, I spent half an hour on two words. Yes, combinations.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's time for the auction to start. We've got good stuff. We do.

[Angela Kinsey]

I have a list of what all was auctioned off. Ready?

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

We have a yoga lesson from Holly. Sold to Michael for $300 because no one else would bid on it. Beers with the warehouse guys from Darrell. Sold to Jim for $5.

[Jenna Fischer]

But you have to go right now. It's beers right now with the warehouse guys.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes. And there was a scripted Jim talking head that didn't make it in. That would explain why he felt like he could leave right away. Jim says, pam loves Bruce Springsteen. I love Bruce Springsteen, and I'm really excited about these tickets. My one reservation is that Bruce Springsteen is not currently touring, so I'm leaving. All right. The next thing auctioned off was a creed, all inclusive creed. He's auctioning off himself. No bids. Kevin will do your taxes, federal and state. No bids. Hank sings the blues, and he's auctioning off his CDs. No bids. That we see. Anyway, David Wallace coming in strong, auctioning off a weekend at his home on Martha's Vineyard. Multiple bids. We don't know where it landed. Phyllis auctions off a hug. Bob wins that one for $1,000. And in deleted scenes, Kelly auctions off dance lessons. And also, Meredith mumbles something. No one can tell what she's saying. Oscar says, fine, I bid a dollar. And then she tosses him a brand new iPhone.

[Jenna Fischer]

That's so funny.

[Angela Kinsey]

Everyone's like, what? That's all the items auctioned. According to the bar graph thingy, it looks like they raised $1,803.

[Jenna Fischer]

I have a lot of fan questions and catches based on everything you said, Angela, starting with Audrey E. During the auction, there's a giant goal thermometer, but the goal isn't at the top of the thermometer. It's like they're only trying to fill it part way up. That's a really funny detail. Yes. This detail was an intentional joke that was written into the script. In the script, it says the amount raised thermometer goes up to $1 million, even though the goal is $3,400, which should be written a little over a foot from the bottom. That was a script note.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

So, yes, very funny little detail.

[Angela Kinsey]

And did you notice whenever Michael was being the auctioneer, if bids started going high, he would throw in a million dollars. He'd be like 100, 200. $1 million. Okay, 400.

[Jenna Fischer]

We had a fan catch from many people. Erica P. Rob O. Katie D. And Ashley S. When Jim leaves to go to the bar with Daryl, Michael auctions off Creed. But if you look, Jim is seated behind Creed.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, good catch.

[Jenna Fischer]

Jim should not be there. But clearly we moved those scenes around.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yep.

[Jenna Fischer]

Also, fan question from Katherine D Lexi B. And Maddie L. Is Hank really a blues musician? No. So not only is Hugh Dane, who plays Hank, not a blues musician, he had never played the guitar before that day. And this bit about Hank being a blues musician was a holdover from an earlier draft of the script. Jen Salata told me it didn't even make it in the shooting draft, but there was a whole storyline where Oscar and Kevin, we're going to try to solve the crime of who broke into the office. And they decide that it must be an inside job because the door wasn't broken. So they're interviewing everyone. They interview Hank and they say, hank, do you have a record? And Hank says, I do have a record, but it's a blues record, not a criminal record. So Jen always loved that joke that Hank said, I have a record. I have a blues record. So she said, I want Hank to auction off his blues record at this auction. But it was a super last minute pitch. Jen told me they only had a couple hours to make the prop cd, which is why, if you notice, Hank is wearing the same outfit in the CD that he's wearing in the episode.

[Angela Kinsey]

Well, and it also said in the script that Hank plays very poorly and we're all having to sit there and listen.

[Jenna Fischer]

Angela, because of this auction, I became inspired to find out what are some of the world's best selling auction items.

[Angela Kinsey]

Like what you see in the news, like Christie's auctioned off a Picasso or something like that.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

I have a list of the highest paid items ever at an auction.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes. Oh, in certain categories.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh.

[Jenna Fischer]

For example, the world's most expensive work of art sold at auction was a 500-year-old painting of Jesus Christ believed to have been painted by Leonardo da Vinci.

[Angela Kinsey]

Ooh. I was gonna say Da Vinci's on this list. I really was. Okay, go.

[Jenna Fischer]

The painting is known as Salvatore Mundi, which means savior of the world. And it sold at Christie's auction in 2017 for $450 million.

[Angela Kinsey]

Dang. Who bought it?

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't know.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, my God.

[Jenna Fischer]

I wouldn't want you to know that I have that. I mean, that feels like a security risk, right?

[Angela Kinsey]

It's got to be anonymous.

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't know if it is or not, but it didn't say. The record for the most expensive work of art by a living artist goes to Jeff Koons. His rabbit sculpture, which sold for 91.1 million in May of 2019. Wow. Jeff Koons actually has two of the top five items that were most expensive for a Living artist. Also, his dog sculpture. His, like, balloon dog.

[Angela Kinsey]

Wow.

[Jenna Fischer]

The most expensive dress ever sold at an auction.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, can I guess?

[Jenna Fischer]

Yes.

[Angela Kinsey]

Was it either Audrey Hepburn or, like, Princess Diana?

[Jenna Fischer]

It's Marilyn Monroe.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, Marilyn Monroe. Why did I say Marilyn Monroe?

[Jenna Fischer]

Her Happy Birthday, Mr. President gown.

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, yes.

[Jenna Fischer]

It sold for $4.8 million in 2016. The most expensive wristwatch ever auctioned. I mean, I found this fascinating because I was like, really? A watch sold for $31 million?

[Angela Kinsey]

I don't get it.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's called a Patek Philippe watch. It was in the grandmaster chime model. Now, does it make more sense, Angela? It was a grandmaster chime.

[Angela Kinsey]

Somewhere there's someone fancy and their ears are bleeding because they're like, ladies, you have no idea what you're talking about.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, we need to pay 31 million for the grandmaster chime.

[Angela Kinsey]

I hid this watch up my ass.

[Jenna Fischer]

Oh, boy, that watch. I'd love to know how much that watch could go for at auction, but this shattered the record. The previous record was a Rolex that was once owned by Paul Newman, and it had sold for 17.7. I don't want to tell people that they're spending their money wrong, but I don't know. Do you want to know the most expensive diamonds?

[Angela Kinsey]

I mean, does Elizabeth have one?

[Jenna Fischer]

No. Sorry. Elizabeth Taylor did not sell the most expensive diamond. The most expensive blue diamond ever sold in auction history was the Oppenheimer Blue, and it sold for $57.9 million. The most expensive diamond diamond was sold for $71.2 million at an auction in Hong Kong. And it is a 59.6 carat pink star diamond. Wow. And it was the largest, flawless, fancy, vivid pink diamond ever graded by the Gemological Institute of America.

[Angela Kinsey]

What do you do with that?

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't know. It is so.

[Angela Kinsey]

What do you do with that? It would stress me out.

[Jenna Fischer]

I don't know what you do with it.

[Angela Kinsey]

I mean, I'm always like, you know, you have one lamp that's nicer than your other lamps. And I'm always like, to the kids, don't touch that lamp. Guys.

[Jenna Fischer]

You guys, stop touching the pink star diamond. Stop it. If you have to play with something, play with the Oppenheimer Blue.

[Angela Kinsey]

Do not throw the Frisbee near that diamond. Damn it.

[Jenna Fischer]

Stop it, guys.

[Angela Kinsey]

That's how my other diamond broke.

[Jenna Fischer]

Exactly. And no, you cannot wear my grandmaster chime to school. Finally, I'm going to tell you what I am assuming is the most expensive used tissue. What? That has ever been auctioned. I can't be sure.

[Angela Kinsey]

Who wants a used tissue?

[Jenna Fischer]

Somebody. Wait.

[Angela Kinsey]

Did Elvis blow his nose as an Elvis tissue?

[Jenna Fischer]

No, it belonged to Scarlett Johansson. She sold it for $2,050 on eBay. The story is that she had been on the Tonight show with Jay Leno in 2008, and she had a cold. She said, samuel L. Jackson gave me a cold. And she said, you know what? I'm gonna auction off my tissue for charity. And she did.

[Angela Kinsey]

Okay. All right. You know what I learned here? People bid crazy amounts of money on really random things. Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

Should we go to the bar? Should we get back to the episode and go to the bar?

[Angela Kinsey]

I guess so. While Jim and the warehouse fellas are having a great time at the bar, Jim's gonna get another round.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

He heads over to the bar, and who walks in?

[Jenna Fischer]

It's Roy.

[Angela Kinsey]

Roy Anderson. Oof. He's like, halpert. And Jim's like. And Roy's like, don't worry. I'm not gonna hit you.

[Jenna Fischer]

So Jim and Roy end up having a rather friendly conversation over some beers. They're catching up on life. He's telling Roy about Pam.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. He tells Roy, Pam's at art school, and also she's engaged to me. And Roy's like, wow. Okay. And then they kind of do like a. They don't quite shake hands. It's weird. It's like Roy holds his hand up over his shoulder, and then Jim grabs it. They have some type of bro handshake moment.

[Jenna Fischer]

I loved that. Jim even sort of doubles down and is like, oh, yeah, she's having a great time at our school. She was out till like, nine in the morning. Morning with her friends. And then Roy says, huh? You were a friend?

[Angela Kinsey]

And Jim is like, oh, crap. Oh, crap. Like, it kind of plants the seed of doubt in Jim's brain. Like, it's Pam connecting with other people the way she connected with me. What's going on at art school?

[Jenna Fischer]

So Jim spirals, and he's like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna go see her. I'm gonna go see her. I'm gonna drive to New York.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

I want you guys to know that there were some missing scenes in this Jim and Pam storyline. There were extra scenes because we did get some mail from people where they were like, wow, this one comment from Roy really made Jim spiral. You know, why was he so insecure about their relationship? Now we know he's gonna turn around. He's not actually gonna drive to New York. He's gonna turn around. But there's a Lot more motivating this spiral than just Roy's comment.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes. There was a whole storyline, you guys, between Jim and Pam that would have started early in the episode and would have built to this moment.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. So earlier, remember, Jim was on the phone and he got this voicemail from Pam where she's out with her friends. Well, what's missing is that there was a really cute bit where Jim and Pam are talking on the phone and they are talking about the West Wing.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yes. And Jenna, it's so cute. They share that. They watch it together on the dvd, so, like, they both have to hit play at the same time. I thought that was so cute. I have done that with friends.

[Jenna Fischer]

So cute.

[Angela Kinsey]

This is old tech romance, guys.

[Jenna Fischer]

In the script, this scene goes on and Jim says, are we on for the next episode tonight? Pam says, you know what, can we rain check it? Basically, you know, she says, I'm really tired. I think I'm just gonna go to bed early. Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

She's had a big week at school.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. So, you know, fine. But then later, what happens is she leaves Jim a message where she says, oh, my gosh, my friends, they're dragging me out. They convinced me to go out. I'll call you later. Then Jim gets the butt dial from the bar. From the bar where she's having a great time. And then Pam leaves him a message explaining that she did not get home until 8 in the morning. So she was too tired to watch West Wing, but she went out with friends till 8 in the morning. So that is really why Jim spirals for a second and is going to drive to New York.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. That's why Roy's comment really took root, you know, because he's like, well, wait a second. I kind of feel like she just blew me off for these people I don't even know.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. And we're just going to leave you hanging on that one, by the way. Jim drives back and you know, we'll work this out in the next episode. Well, back at the auction, it's 6:14.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah.

[Jenna Fischer]

It's the deadline.

[Angela Kinsey]

Dwight looks over at Angela and Angela purposefully looks to Andy. Dwight is crushed.

[Jenna Fischer]

She's made her choice.

[Angela Kinsey]

She's made her choice. Well, there was a scripted Angela talking head that didn't make it in. That would have gone right here. And Angela says, I'm not the type of person who breaks engagements. You should go talk to Pam. Once again, Angela is going to throw Pam under the bus when it comes to questions about her personal life. She's like, wait, who Can I distract with. Oh, yeah, Pam.

[Jenna Fischer]

Dwight is like, phyllis, Phyllis, someone has let the air out of all of your tires.

[Angela Kinsey]

Come look.

[Jenna Fischer]

And Phyllis goes outside, and yes, her tires are all flat. And Dwight's like, no, no, no. I just need an excuse to get you out here. And I love Phyllis line. Like, why couldn't you have just said it? Why'd you have to do it? Yeah, but Dwight's like, what do I do now? What do I do now? The ultimatum passed, and that's when Phyllis is like, well, I think you have your answer. It's the end, Dwight. That's what happens.

[Angela Kinsey]

You gotta let it go.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah.

[Angela Kinsey]

Dwight is furious with Phyllis, but then he has this moment when he's by himself, and he's like, you know, kind of like, how dare her? She's so selfish here. She was just trying to help me. And then he sort of hears what he's just said. She was just trying to help him.

[Jenna Fischer]

That's what motivates him to go in and bid on her hug and drive the price up. Ultimately, it goes to Bob Vance.

[Angela Kinsey]

And Angela is so confused. She's like, why is Dwight bidding on a hug with Phyllis, like, so aggressively? It's his way of saying thank you, I guess.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, well, she's the big winner of the night. It goes for the most money because, as it turns out, Michael can't find the Springsteen tickets. Can you believe it?

[Angela Kinsey]

Oh, what could have happened to them?

[Jenna Fischer]

Where are they?

[Angela Kinsey]

He definitely had them all the time.

[Jenna Fischer]

He definitely had them, even though we

[Angela Kinsey]

learned that, you know, they're not even touring right now.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, there's a very sweet scene now between Michael and Holly where Michael does admit that it's kind of a gray area whether or not he had the Springsteen tickets.

[Angela Kinsey]

A lot about Michael is too good to be true.

[Jenna Fischer]

She says, well. And you know how Jen Salata was always ruining takes by laughing on set? Yes, all the time. Especially talking heads. Well, Jen told me that she totally ruined a take during this scene. She says the moment when Holly is trying to cover Michael's mouth and tell him, don't say it. Don't say it. And then how Michael is sort of delighted by this. So he starts laughing, and then Holly starts laughing. Jen said that it felt so real to her that she thought they had broke. So Jen started laughing and ultimately ruined the take. And Steve was like, why were you laughing? And she said, I thought you were breaking. And he said, no, we were just acting. And then they all kind of laughed at that. But she said that moment made it onto the blooper reel.

[Angela Kinsey]

It did. I watched it. It's on season five bloopers on YouTube. You can see Jen cracking up.

[Jenna Fischer]

The episode ends with a kiss. Michael and Holly kiss more than once.

[Angela Kinsey]

There's a little kiss, then a bigger kiss. You guys, they're at work.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah. And David Wallace is there. He's watching from a distance. This episode ends with him saying, no, I did not know that Michael was dating Holly.

[Angela Kinsey]

He doesn't seem happy about it.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, he's not. I mean, look what happened when Michael dated Jan. Oh, my gosh. But, David, what you don't know is that these guys are soulmates. But this is going to cause some problems for this couple going forward. We have a lot of couples in crisis.

[Angela Kinsey]

Yeah. Season five.

[Jenna Fischer]

Duangela, Jamie, Molly, or Hykel. What are we calling them? Hykel.

[Angela Kinsey]

Holly and Michael.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, they're either Molly or Hykel.

[Angela Kinsey]

Season 5. Shaking it up, guys. Shaking it up.

[Jenna Fischer]

Well, there you have it. That's Crime Aid.

[Angela Kinsey]

I certainly learned a lot this episode. For example, Groupon doing crazy surveys.

[Jenna Fischer]

Yeah, very crazy surveys. And we know the most expensive used tissue ever sold at auction that I could find.

[Angela Kinsey]

Mm. There could be more.

[Jenna Fischer]

There could be more. But as far as I could find, that record goes to. Scarlett Johansson.

[Angela Kinsey]

Congratulations, Scarlett.

[Jenna Fischer]

And in Crime Aid, the most expensive item sold goes to. Phyllis.

[Angela Kinsey]

Way to go, Phyllis.

[Jenna Fischer]

Way to go, Phyllis. I'd take that hug.

[Angela Kinsey]

It's a good hug.

[Jenna Fischer]

All right, guys, we'll see you next week.

[Angela Kinsey]

We'll see you next week. We hope you have.

[Jenna Fischer]

Thank you for listening to Office Lady's second drink.

[Angela Kinsey]

This episode was initially created in collaboration with Earwolf.

[Jenna Fischer]

Office Ladies is a presentation of Odyssey and is produced by Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Our senior producer is Matt Beagle.

[Angela Kinsey]

Our second drinks episodes are produced by Molly Nugent.

[Jenna Fischer]

Our audio engineer is Sam Kiefer.

[Angela Kinsey]

Odyssey's executive producer is Leah Rees Dennis.

[Jenna Fischer]

Office Ladies was mixed and mastered by Bill Schultz.

[Angela Kinsey]

Our theme song is Rubber Tree by Creed Bratton.

[Jenna Fischer]

Did you know that you can buy your car completely online on Autotrader? Really?

[Angela Kinsey]

Just visit autotrader.com filter and search through dealer listings for the car you want to make, model, color, and all the features that matter to you. Go ahead, get picky.

[Jenna Fischer]

Whether you're into subcompacts with heated cup holders, crossovers with all wheel drive pickups with kicking sound systems, or SUVs that can survive whatever chaos your kids unleash, just drop in your info and you'll only see cars in your budget. Really?

[Angela Kinsey]

Once you find your one and only you can do the whole deal online and have the car delivered to your driveway. Or you can pick it up at the dealership and drive your new ride right off the lot. Really?

[Jenna Fischer]

Autotrader makes it easy to buy your car online because the whole process is designed around your wants and must haves.

[Angela Kinsey]

Autotrader buy your car online. Really.

[Jenna Fischer]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.

[Angela Kinsey]

I don't know if you knew this

[Jenna Fischer]

but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities so do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail]

[Angela Kinsey]

Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3

[Jenna Fischer]

month plan equivalent to $15 per month

[Angela Kinsey]

required intro rate first 3 months only then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra fee, full [e-mail],.