Pray

Read: Ecc 4:4-16.

Meditation

Now we have a peculiar little story in verses 13 through 16, it’s almost a parable. Solomon tells the story of a foolish old king who did not know how to take advice. We will open this up a bit more later, but for now notice the old king. What was the defining mark of this king? That he did not know how to take advice. He did not listen to people. He had cut himself off from good advice. And so the poor and wise youth was better than the hard-hearted and isolated old king.

Envy and laziness both tend towards isolation, but here is another cause: the inability to listen. Listening to no one but ourselves is a sure way to reach a dead end in life. You can have all the riches in the world, but a poor wise man who listens is better than a rich king whose heart is hard. Fearing God requires a listening heart. It requires a heart that listens to God, and a heart that listens to good advice from others. It requires a heart that looks for good advice from others.

If we see this tendency in ourselves, the tendency not to talk with others, we ought to take note of this warning.

If you simply do not talk to others there cannot be a relationship. That is a danger in itself.

The tendency to argue with others, or an argumentative spirit, is an indicator of someone who does not listen.

The tendency of inattention, giving people only half of our attention; or perhaps of talking too much, these are not good signs.

Someone with a tendency to talk a lot may struggle to listen.

There may be a tendency not to show real interest in others, for this foolish king would not have been one to ask sensitive questions of others to better understand them.

It may be someone who interrupts, someone who formulates what he wants to say while the other is talking.

It may be someone who lacks a genuine interest in the other person as they are speaking, or someone who is quick to form opinions on others.

All these things show us tendencies towards isolation and individualism. As and if we follow these patterns ourselves, we live in our own mental bubble, and we are not open-hearted. We are becoming like the old king of the parable. Perhaps it was old-man Solomon reflecting on himself.

As Solomon has shown us, being self-focused is a dead end in life.

But what then can we do? Perhaps as we have looked at some of these areas, you have noticed some of these patterns in your own life. I certainly have. At different points every one of us will be self-focused in some way or another. So how do we respond?

As Solomon points out, rather than living in isolation, we must seek to live in community. We must rather be the poor, wise, youth, if that is what it comes down to. It is the cure of Christian fellowship that we need. Two are better than one (v. 9), and a threefold cord is not quickly broken (v. 12). There is strength in numbers. Better is a poor but wise youth who listens than an old and foolish king who does not.

Where does this leave us? Consider a few points of application to ponder.

First, it is only as we turn to God that we can find restoration from the isolation that sin brings. As we have seen in these meditations on individualism, isolation is destructive. In the biggest sense, however, our isolation is ultimately an isolation from God. Although we were created to be in relationship with him, through our sin we have cut ourselves off. Even as Christians, when we pursue sin, we are running from God to try to do it ourselves. This world is full of people who do not know God and who have not come to God.

If that is you, as you read these words, if you have not come to Christ, then there is one message to hear: if you remain isolated from God, you will find yourself alone in a dead end. Your life will pass you by. Even if you are successful, as the poor, wise young man in verses 13 through 16 was, it will not be long before you too depart from this earth. As that young man was forgotten, so too will we be. And as we come to eternity, if our relationship with God has not been restored, we will find ourselves isolated in damnation for all eternity.

If you do not know God, then you need the message of the gospel: God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him may not perish, but have eternal life. Come to Christ, believe in him, and God will restore you to himself. There is only one ultimate answer to isolation, and that is to come to the God of love revealed in Christ.

And as Christians this is just as true. Without him we can do nothing. Christ is our daily solution to dealing with the sin that so often threatens to isolate us. To the degree that we allow sin to lodge in our hearts, we will find that God is not near. Keep short accounts with God. Confess your sin regularly across the day. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Here is an application for fearing God and avoiding isolation: keep your heart warm towards God. If you do that, you will have a fountain in your heart, a fountain that works to bring unity and harmony rather than division and isolation.

As we are united and restored to God, as we keep near to him, we are also restored to one another. The unity and harmony that we have together in Christ is the basis of finding unity and harmony in our marriages, families, friendships, and churches. Christ is the only true means of unity on a human level. Christ is the key to killing individualism in our own hearts and to drawing together as well. We need to live the gospel out in our human relationships. Humility and confession should feature regularly. Forgiveness and restoration should follow every time. We need to keep short accounts with one another; this is basic to building unity and relationship. A threefold cord is not quickly broken. That text is sometimes used at weddings as a reminder that two humans, bound together with God, will be strong. While that was not Solomon’s purpose, the principle is good. As we cling to one another in friendship and love, and cling together under God, we will be strong.

A few further words of application.

First, we saw that envy tends towards isolation. Here is application for defeating envy: seek your satisfaction in Christ. Envy looks at what its neighbour has and wants it. But God, in place of this, calls us not to desire anything but him. Delight yourself in God alone, and he will give to you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). A sure antidote to individualism is a heart that is fully satisfied in Christ. As we are satisfied in Christ, we will no longer envy what others have. We will no longer put up barriers and objectify people. We will delight in Christ, and we will delight in others, and we will seek to help them delight in Christ. So seek your satisfaction in Christ. As a practical way of doing that, think about the things you are doing each day. As you think about those things, ask yourself if they are helping you to be satisfied in Christ, or if they are hindering you. That question is a good internal measure for searching our own hearts.

Second, prayerfully look for ways to serve others. We saw in verse 5 the way that laziness tends to isolate an individual and make him useless. Sometimes the reason we feel lonely is because we are not proactive in service. Idleness can perpetuate loneliness. Often, the antidote to isolation may be to prayerfully and actively seek to serve others. If we get up, get active, and seek opportunities to serve others, we may find that our friendship grows as well. Always be praying and looking for ways to be a blessing to others. Christ has blessed us, that we may bless others. SDG.

Prayer of Confession & Consecration

Father of mercy, we confess that we have loved our own thoughts more than your wisdom, and have isolated ourselves through pride, envy, laziness, and an unwillingness to listen. We have cut ourselves off from you and from others, choosing self over fellowship, and we grieve the coldness of heart that has followed. Please draw us again to Christ, restore us to yourself, and warm our hearts by your Spirit, that we may delight in you above all and keep short accounts with you and with one another. Consecrate us to lives of humble love, attentive listening, and joyful service, that bound together with you and your people, we may reflect the unity and grace of our Lord. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

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Ep 138: A Parable for Pursuing Christian Fellowship (Ecc 4:13-16).