On Being with Krista Tippett

Episode Summary:

Turning Unbearable Loss Into Ground of Shared Life
Guests: Arab Aramin, Robi Damelin, Liora Eilon, Mohamed Abu Jafar
Date: March 12, 2026

Overview

This episode gathers four extraordinary members of the Parent Circle – Bereaved Families Forum, an uncommon community of Israelis and Palestinians who have lost loved ones to the conflict. Host Krista Tippett joins Robi Damelin, Arab Aramin, Liora Eilon, and Mohamed Abu Jafar in an intimate, deeply honest conversation about the alchemy of grief, the painstaking transformation of pain into the possibility of empathy, and the forging of unlikely, resilient friendships. The panelists share personal journeys of loss, rage, and ultimately, courageous commitment to dialogue and co-existence, offering listeners not only stories of devastating trauma but also rare glimpses of hope, healing, and the ongoing work of social repair.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Parent Circle: A Community Grown from Loss

[00:00–06:30]

• Tippett introduces the Parent Circle as an “extremism in a life-giving, heart-opening key,” a place where “unbearable loss becomes ground of shared suffering and possible reconciliation.”
• Robi Damelin describes her journey: losing her son David to a Palestinian sniper, and how looking into the eyes of a Palestinian mother was “the beginning of a pilgrimage.”

  "Literally, the Parent Circle overtook my life... it gave me a reason for being." — Robi Damelin [04:21]

• The Parent Circle’s message, she insists, is urgently global: “when I see the hatred and anger... I have to do something to make a difference.” [05:50]

Personal Stories of Grief and Radical Transformation

Arab Aramin

[07:00–13:52]

• Arab lost his sister Abir at age 13 when she was killed by Israeli soldiers. Initial feelings were of “rage and a desire for revenge:”

  “Instead of thinking about what I'm gonna do, how I'm gonna play, I start thinking, from where can I bring a gun and how can I use it... to kill all the Israelis who killed my sister.” — Arab Aramin [08:23]

• Seeing his father (Bassam Aramin, once a fighter, then a peace activist) resist the urge for revenge led Arab, over years, toward empathy and understanding.
• Arab describes learning the other side’s pain: “It took me seven years to make peace with myself… when we know each other, when we talk to each other, it takes us to very far places that we will never think about.” [11:05]

Liora Eilon

[16:14–28:59]

• Liora lost her son, Tal, an emergency responder, during the October 7, 2023, Hamas attack on Kibbutz Kfar Aza.
• She shares the harrowing 35 hours she, her daughter, and granddaughters spent in a safe room, while her house became a field hospital and Tal was killed protecting others:

  “There’s no words to describe what we went through, really, no words... But we did stay alive. Unfortunately, my son didn’t survive.” — Liora Eilon [20:33]

• Liora’s resolve to remain true to her values:

  “I remember saying to myself... I’m not going to let the world change me. I know who I am. I know my values.” [23:30]

• Her granddaughter, Gali, showed resourcefulness, guiding Israeli soldiers by phone and map during the siege; yet, Gali is “very angry” and not in a place to join the work of reconciliation. [27:38]

Mohamed Abu Jafar

[28:59–39:13]

• Mohamed lost his brother Ahmed, killed by Israeli soldiers when Mohamed was 14.
• His initial response was denial and numbness. Later, he channeled his loss into becoming a nurse, led by the ethic of helping all regardless of “religion, race, ethnicity or nationality.” [32:24]
• He joined the Parent Circle only years later, beginning with deep skepticism and resistance; it took three years before he could share his story aloud within the group.

  “I wouldn’t imagine meeting with Israelis because there is no reason to do this... They are killing us.” — Mohamed Abu Jafar [33:30]

• Mohamed describes the transformative power of the Circle’s youth summer camps—where, after initial suspicion and tension, encounters with shared stories “bring more empathy... the breakthrough happens.” [39:50–42:23]

On Truth, Trauma, and the Work of Healing

[42:28–53:51]

• Tippett introduces the concept of “deep truth,” citing physics—a truth whose opposite is also likely true—to capture the conflict’s complexity and the possibility of simultaneous, contradictory realities.
• Robi reflects on being “tested” to practice what she preaches, especially around issues like prisoner exchanges:

  “It’s all the time. Looking at yourself to see: do you really mean what you say?” — Robi Damelin [44:17]

• She notes the freedom that comes in “giving up being a victim” and the vital role of friendship and laughter among members:

  “The minute you give up being a victim, you become free. And I'm nobody’s victim.” — Robi Damelin [48:08]

• The group describes the trust and empathy forged within, even amidst great pain and radically different narratives.

Facing the World: Dialogue as Activism

[53:51–56:57]

• The reach and demand for their dialogue programs has skyrocketed post-October 7; the Parent Circle developed virtual tools to offer empathy-building encounters in schools and on campuses.
• Robi insists: “You cannot sit at home, self-indulgently being depressed. Just get up and do something.” [54:54]
• Arab cautions Americans against importing the conflict; instead, he urges listeners to “please don’t be pro one side… support justice and humanity and dignity for both sides.” [55:00]

Closing Reflections: The Ongoing Choice for Humanity

[56:33–63:10]

• Panelists share what keeps them on this arduous path:
  • Arab: “We have every single reason on earth to keep killing each other, and we don’t. So if we can do it, everyone should. Everyone can.” [57:54]
  • Liora: “When I choose over and over… to tell my story… I do it because I believe that once I tell you my story, you bear witness, and there is a lot of responsibility in that.” [58:28]
  • Mohamed: Expresses gratitude for listeners “willing to hear our stories” and stresses the work is for the future—“for the kids in Israel and Palestine that are now living hell.” [61:40]
• Tippett closes with words from poet-theologian John O’Donohue, honoring their choice to cross thresholds of suffering “so worthily.” [63:10]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Robi Damelin:

  “It’s not a local message. This is an international message.” [05:50]
  “It's a sense of freedom. The minute you give up being a victim, you become free.” [48:08] “Who will give solace to other bereaved mothers if not Leora? If not me?” [46:54]

• Arab Aramin:

  “It took me seven years to make peace with myself and to get out of the door, as my father told me back then.” [13:31] “The first option, it’s very easy, to kill people or to die. And the second option, to talk to your enemies, to let them know that you are just a human being.” [12:25] “Please don't be pro one side. By doing that, you're just killing us.” [55:00]

• Liora Eilon:

  “I’m not going to let the world change me. I know who I am. I know my values.” [23:30] “When I tell you my story, I'm actually ensuring myself that I'm still me.” [59:22]

• Mohamed Abu Jafar:

  “[The summer camp] starts the first two days, people want to go home. And we end the summer camp at 3am, me forcing physically the Israeli kids to get off our bus because... they won't leave the Palestinian kids. And this is the transformation.” [41:28] “What gives me hope now? Seeing people like you coming here to hear our story and willing to hear our story. And I hope you will continue doing this… for the kids in Israel and Palestine that are now living hell.” [61:40]

Timed Guide to Major Segments

• 00:00–06:30: Introduction to the Parent Circle and Robi's journey.
• 07:00–16:14: Arab’s story—loss, rage, journey away from revenge.
• 16:14–28:59: Liora’s story—October 7 attack, loss, resolve to stay herself, her granddaughter’s role.
• 28:59–42:23: Mohamed’s story—loss, nursing, reluctant journey to dialogue, power of youth programs.
• 42:28–53:51: On deep truth, trauma, meaning, and the radical practice of empathy and friendship.
• 53:51–56:57: Dialogue as activism, what international audiences can uniquely do.
• 56:33–63:10: Reflections on bearing witness, the responsibility of listeners, sustaining hope for children and future generations.

Core Takeaways

• Rehumanization is radical: Sharing suffering and listening, even (especially) across lines of violence, is a profound act.
• Dialogue is a discipline and a choice: It is neither easy nor painless, but opens otherwise unimaginable possibilities.
• "Don't take sides—take responsibility": The guests plea for outsiders not to import or amplify hatred, but rather to support organizations working for peace, justice, and empathy.
• The work is slow, ongoing, often lonely—but necessary: Stories must be told and heard repeatedly, both for healing and for hope.

For Further Exploration

• Learn more: theparentcircle.org
• Original conversation: Search “No More Taking Sides” in the On Being feed
• Action: Listen, bear witness, and support the work of NGOs promoting reconciliation across divides.

This summary captures the heart of the conversation, the personal stories, and the invitations extended from participants to the world: to hold complexity, meet pain with listening, and choose actions—small or large—that humanize and support shared futures.