← On Purpose with Jay Shetty
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Big Sean: 5 Ways to Get Unstuck From Where You Are Now (Simple Strategies to Eliminate Endless Hours of Work)
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- [00:02]
Jay Shetty
Sometimes life can seem hard and tough to navigate, but what may seem like the smallest tasks, such as getting out of bed or even brushing your teeth, should be celebrated as a win. And State Farm is here to help you celebrate all your wins. The State Farm Personal Price Plan helps you create an affordable price just for you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. Listening on Audible has completely transformed how I engage with ideas. Recently, I've been listening to Never split the negotiating as if your life depended on it by Chris Voss and it's changed the way I approach communication. There's more to imagine when you listen. New members can try Audible now for free for 30 days with your first audiobook included. Visit Audible.com purpose or text purpose to 500500 that's Audible.com purpose or text PURPOSE to 500500 the Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your.
- [01:23]
Big Sean
Wrist whether you're running, swimming or sleeping. And it's the fastest charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes.
- [01:31]
Jay Shetty
The Apple Watch Series 10, available for.
- [01:34]
Big Sean
The first time in glossy jet black.
- [01:36]
Jay Shetty
Aluminum compared to previous generations. IPhone XS are later required Charge time and actual results will vary.
- [01:43]
Big Sean
Every day I wake up, I'm one day closer to death. So what you gonna do with the time you got left? Six time Grammy nominee Big Sean way up. I feel blessed. One of the big blessings is going through a time where you are feeling at your lowest or depressed or whatever the feeling is because that is just confirmation that you're not in alignment and that you're meant for something different, something greater.
- [02:08]
Jay Shetty
What's the difference between attracting energy and chasing energy?
- [02:12]
Big Sean
Oh boy. The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty.
- [02:19]
Jay Shetty
Jay Shetty.
- [02:20]
Big Sean
The one, the only Jay Shetty.
- [02:24]
Jay Shetty
Hey everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come to become happier, healthier and more healed. Three things that are so important to the human condition. Today's guest is on for not the first, not the second, but a third time special. One of your favorite guests, one of your favorite interactions. We both hear about it all the time. I'm talking about my dear friend, an incredible artist, Big Sean, Grammy nominated rapper, songwriter, friend of the podcast and now a first Time author. His new book is called Go Higher the five Practices for Purpose, Success and Inner Peace, which combines his insights on self care with actionable tools. Set to release in January 2025. Now, despite his achievements, he has been open about his struggles with anxiety and depression, turning to spiritual practices to find balance. Through his music and now his writing, Big Sean inspires others to overcome their own challenges and reach their fullest potential. Please welcome my dear friend, someone that I believe is so inspiring, deeply insightful, philosophical, a guide, a teacher, a leader.
- [03:41]
Big Sean
Big Sean, man, brother, thank you for having me. You know, first of all, I just gotta say, Jay, though, I'm so proud of you, man. Even since our first interview, like, of course you did. You sparked the idea of me writing a book, but not. I'm not making it about me, bro. You've interviewed the president, man. You've entered like the. You have gone to the moon and back. There was a part of the book where I said, like, the mental health space. And, you know, like that. That space is dominated by a certain crowd, bro. You are dominating this space. And I just gotta say, it's deeper than that. It's wellness. It's all of it. And I just gotta say, I'm super proud of you, man. Like, very, very proud of you. I know, like, where you come from. I know your journey. I know how you grew up. You know, I know the household you came from. And I just gotta say, man, I'm very proud of you. And I see. I see, like, so much for you. And you're still so young, and you still so have so much to offer. So thank you so much, man.
- [04:42]
Jay Shetty
Oh, man, the feeling is mutual. And honestly, it was people like yourself who came on the show so early and trusted the space, opened up and made it a safe space for so many that followed you as well. And so I have to give you a lot of credit back because you came on the show when it was so much smaller. We were starting out, but it was people like yourself who trusted me, trusted the space, and were able to create it.
- [05:08]
Big Sean
And look at this, man. Come on.
- [05:11]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, that's Radhi's genius. She's. She's super smart when it comes to figuring out how to help people. But no, I'm so proud of you for putting this book together, because when I met you, I noticed very quickly that you were already a philosopher, and that was rare. Most people live life and then gain wisdom, and you, through your mother, through your own learnings, through your own curiosity, had so much insight and wisdom when we met, and I remember mentioning, like, oh, one day, and the fact that we're sitting here with the book in our hands. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty special. And you reminding people to go higher is so powerful. But let's dive in because. Sorry, you were gonna say something. I don't.
- [05:53]
Big Sean
No, I was just saying, like, yeah, you really gave me the confidence, you know, as soon as the cameras cut off, you were like, yo, you gotta write a book. You know? And I was like, wow. I didn't write it for any, like, vanity purpose. I didn't write it for, like, oh, it's that time for me to write a book. I literally wrote it because it was pouring out of me, really, essentially. You know what I mean? And it was like, there are so many people who, like, trying to figure out how to get to. How to just maneuver through life, and I've dealt with my, like, ups and downs and maneuver through things. So it's just like, Sharon always can help somebody. You never know how you're impacting somebody, how you can change somebody's whole trajectory. You know, I was lucky enough to have these, like, guardian angels in the form of, like, my mom or the form of my family members or in the form of friends or, you know, the alchemist. The book. The Alchemist really taught me to pay attention to the omens, you know what I'm saying? So through a song, coming on, through any aspect of my life, and it was just like, you know, it was a true pleasure to be able to just put, like, what has worked for me in a way that can. People could come back to it, that people can apply to their lives. And, you know, I've gotten a chance to not only sit and talk to you, but sit and talk to so many of other people that I respect in the wellness space and just an inspiring space, you know, from Deepak to Sadhguru to. And just my idols growing up in music. So I apply a lot of things that I've learned into this book, and hopefully it helps people.
- [07:33]
Jay Shetty
It will. It will help people for sure. I want to stop asking you. You know, you've manifested success. And when I spend time with you today, and I see you with Janae and I see you talking about Noah, I also feel you've manifested happiness, and I think those two things are very different. And so I wanted to ask you what's been different about manifesting success, Career, profession, and then manifesting happiness.
- [08:02]
Big Sean
One of the things about success is you have to define what your idea of success is. You know, I Don't think if like say somebody had a billion dollars, I wouldn't say that he's more successful than me. I would just say he has more money than me. And I think that's the power of separation. We tie so many things into definition, right? Success to me is a feeling of, it's an emotion. It's something that when your purpose is activated and you are impacting people in any way, shape or form, there's so many ways to impact people right now. There are byproducts of success. Like money can be a byproduct of success. You know, when you do something and you create a supply and demand, you get paid for it. But I don't think because you make money that you're successful, you know what I'm saying? And I don't think, you know, there's a lot of things that you could tie to that. Just like I don't think just because if your life isn't going the way you are, that doesn't mean that you let that make you unhappy. Those are two separate things. It's really the power of separation. So for me, success is a feeling and it's when my purpose is activated. So I remember I did an interview and they asked, you know, successful, talking about success. And I said, well, I'm not the most successful person in the world. And I was like, well, maybe I am actually, because I love so many aspects of my life and I'm living in the life that I've always dreamed of, you know, times 10. I only wanted to have a song on the radio and like a platinum song. And bro, I've sold 185 million records or something crazy. I've like taken care of my mom, my dad, a lot of people, and live 10 lifetimes already. So everything has just been sprinkles on top. So to me, success is really activating your purpose. And happiness is something that you can choose instantly. Your happiness is something that you could choose instantly. And it's something that I learned the hard way. Because when I have fallen into like a dark time, you know, we all go through these ups and downs when I've been down bad and like the depression comes in, anxiety comes in, the self sabotage comes in. And you can hold on to these things and they will, they will stick with you your whole life. You have to decide to let them go. And that's one of the things I talk about in the book. A lot of people may not know how to do that and there are a lot of ways, but one of the first ways is to choose how you feel. You're in control of that, and it's easier said than done because when things aren't going your way, you're pissed off at everybody. You're, like, blaming everything. Well, first of all, you have to quit blaming everything else and realize that you're a magnet. You're magnetizing your whole world to you. So if that's the case, obviously you switch it to an emotion that resonates with you more of how. At least how you desire to feel. Right. And you can choose that. And I'm telling you, your whole experience will change. So happiness is something you can choose immediately.
- [11:08]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. One thing that stood out to me listening to you, was the power of separation. I've never heard it like that before. Yeah, And I really like that term because we have to learn to separate society's views and our views. We have to learn to separate, as you said, our definition of success and other people's definition of success and separate.
- [11:29]
Big Sean
What you control and what you can control.
- [11:32]
Jay Shetty
And so how do we develop the power of separation? What does it take to cultivate that within ourself, to have that ability? Because I feel most of us don't practice the power of separation.
- [11:43]
Big Sean
It's being. It's just the recognition. To me, one of the biggest blessings in your life is growing pains. One of the biggest blessings is going through a time where you are feeling at your lowest or depressed or whatever the feeling is, because that is just confirmation that you're not in alignment and that you're meant for something different or you're meant for something more, something greater. You know, if you are satisfied with where you're at, then that is what it is. And, you know, you probably wouldn't even be depressed, but because you are, because you feel a certain way or like you're not all the way there, that is just confirmation that you are truly, truly meant for more or something different. So to me, I think that when you recognize, okay, you know, once you start recognizing things of that nature, you could say, okay, what's the first step of getting out of this? And so that's part of the book. I say, you know, accepting where you are, that doesn't mean you have to, like. You have to, like, stay there. That just means accepting the blessings and all the things that come along with where you are to open up space for more and you letting go of all the baggage that is holding and weighing you down. I used to be like that. I used to be like, when things don't go my way. I'm terrible. Oh, this doesn't happen the way I wanted it to or the way I saw it. You know, my whole mood is shot. Right. And I'm not. Not to say that things don't affect me when they don't go my way, but I have the armor on now. I know how to deal with it. I know how to get over it and get back to it. That's how a lot of my heroes deal with things, too. You know, when you think of, like, Denzel Washington, like, say he has a new movie out. Say the movie does amazing and it's incredible, and he wins an Oscar, say the movie comes out and it bombs or doesn't do as well. He's not going to give up and quit. It's not going to ruin his life. He's going to move on to the next thing and use that to the power of separation in me. You know, that's a real thing.
- [13:45]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. You reminded me of. I love Denzel, too, so.
- [13:49]
Big Sean
Yeah, I know.
- [13:50]
Jay Shetty
You reminded me of.
- [13:51]
Big Sean
I can't speak for Denzel. That's just like, an example.
- [13:54]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. Of what you're perceiving.
- [13:56]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [13:56]
Jay Shetty
I remember my football coach growing up gave me this piece of advice, and it stayed with me ever since then. He would say to us, if you lose, cry for a night. And he goes, if you win, celebrate for a night, but then get back to training.
- [14:12]
Big Sean
That's right.
- [14:12]
Jay Shetty
So if you lose, cry for a night, but then get back to training. And if you win, celebrate for a night and get back to training. It was always about getting back to training the next day. It was like, you can't just sit there and cry for a week or cry for a month. And you can't, in the same way, celebrate for a month. You can't just live off your past success.
- [14:31]
Big Sean
That's right.
- [14:31]
Jay Shetty
Get back to training. And I love that mindset.
- [14:34]
Big Sean
Someone was like a Kobe mindset almost, right?
- [14:36]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. Gone.
- [14:38]
Big Sean
You know, I know you got a chance to talk to Kobe before, and I've actually got a chance to talk to him as well. And, you know, he's. He's incredible. And his mindset was something that I admire so much. And I got a chance to talk to him literally a few months before he passed, and he was just telling me about how he meditates and what it does for him. Right. And I just resonated with that so much. It's really cool, because we all are reflections of each other, not just me and you or whoever. It's like everyone that's in your vicinity, in your environment, is a reflection of you or a part of you, even if you like them or don't like them, you know, and it's something to recognize that we are all interconnected. After you go down to the layers of it. Right. You get past the singularity of, like, career, the, you know, family, house, this and that. We're all. You go really deep inside, and we're all very similar. We're all the same. We. We. We have the same system of order of operations, you know, and it's really a true testament of we all are. Everything physical is made of that same. I don't know what you want to call it. Prana or love. Energy. And as I've gotten older in my life, I see the similarities. I have friends that are in their 60s, 70s, you know, I have friends that are all races and things, and I see myself in all of them. And I think that's something to recognize in such a world of separation. I know that kind of is like a far reach from talking about the interaction with Kobe, but it's just crazy how in everyone that I've been meeting lately and even just from growing up, that I've seen. It's like a mirror almost, in a lot of ways.
- [16:24]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, talking about Kobe, I think what resonated with me most about him is that he was at peace in retirement. And athletes who are retired don't always find peace because naturally, it was so important to be on the field.
- [16:42]
Big Sean
Right, Right.
- [16:43]
Jay Shetty
And so no judgment towards anyone. But it's so hard to not be on the court anymore and not miss it and want to be there. And he had found a new purpose. And that's the most interesting thing, is that you don't get to peace by pursuing it, and you don't get to peace by trying to pursue more prizes and more wins.
- [17:04]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [17:05]
Jay Shetty
You get to peace by finding your purpose. And that's what he did. And so I want to talk about in your book, because you really give people these five practices.
- [17:12]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [17:13]
Jay Shetty
And I want to give people a game plan, a roadmap today in our interview, so that when they read the book.
- [17:18]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [17:19]
Jay Shetty
They can kind of connect the dots between things you've said today. And I want everyone to go out and grab a copy of the book because I really feel it simplifies. I feel like so much of this space is, like, mystical, complex.
- [17:31]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [17:31]
Jay Shetty
Like, and it can take a long time, but what you've done is you've really demystified and go higher. Your book, the pathway to get there.
- [17:38]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [17:39]
Jay Shetty
And I love that you start at accept, because I think even though it's a hard step, it's such an important step. This idea that your journey only begins when you accept that where you are is your starting point, that your experience have made you exactly who you're meant to be with the skills, the talents, the gifts. So if someone's sitting and listening and going, sean, that's so hard for me to accept that I am where I need to be because my life's just been full of, you know, the worst, horrible, difficult things. How do I accept and start from there? What would you say to them?
- [18:16]
Big Sean
I would say that I understand some people's lives are not ideal. I'm someone who has seen that experience, that can relate to that firsthand. And what I can say is that when you accept it, that doesn't mean that you are giving up. Those are two different things. Accepting it just means, okay, I'm ready to go somewhere else. And I'm thankful for all the. That all of this has taught me. All of this has brought me. I accept where I'm at, but I know I'm made for something else. I know I'm made to go. To go higher.
- [18:53]
Jay Shetty
Right.
- [18:54]
Big Sean
But no, but really, I'm made to be somewhere else in the world. And I think that until you accept that, you can't move forward because you're just in the middle of it. And I think when you accept something, that's how you get ahead of it.
- [19:08]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, Yeah, I agree. I feel like it's the resistance to acceptance that blocks us.
- [19:15]
Big Sean
Exactly.
- [19:15]
Jay Shetty
Right. It's like when we're fighting. Yeah. When we're fighting, we're going in the opposite direction. It's like it's telling you it's going in this direction and you're trying to force it to go in the other direction. And that's what's causing tension. And accepting it means, like you said, not that you're giving up and you're like, all right, well, I just do what you want. It's going. No, this is how it's flowing now. What am I going to do?
- [19:39]
Big Sean
There's always a, like, thread of where you are to where you desire to be at. No matter in what situation. There's never not a way, or else you wouldn't feel it, or else you wouldn't be. Have a desire for it, but it wouldn't even be in your consciousness. You know what I mean? Like, I don't have a Desire to go to Saturn, because that's just not in my thing. Right. But I have a desire to the things that I've had to desire to. I always knew that there was a way. So always know that no matter what opportunity you're in, against the impossible odds or against odds, you know, whatever it is, you always have your way to get to where you are. There's always a thread leading you and there are maybe multiple threads. So never be down and out and think that it's impossible is really not. I mean Mission Impossible is, is a movie that where he defines impossible missions, you know. But my point is, is like there is nothing that's impossible for you. It's all meant for you. And it's up to you. One of my favorite quotes is, every day I wake up, I'm one day closer to death. So what you gonna do with the time you got left? It's like understand that this is our time right now. The moment is now. These moments, we only have the moment. So a lot of us live in the future and a lot of us live in the past. And that's something that we have to get out of the habit of. And I think when you accept where you are, you're kind of letting go of that and making an action plan to putting your attention on your int. And you of course, you have an idea of where you would like to be. But God doesn't always give us what we want. God gives us what we need. And sometimes those are the same thing and sometimes they're not.
- [21:17]
Jay Shetty
Yeah.
- [21:17]
Big Sean
And it all works out, you know?
- [21:20]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. For sure. What, what's the, you know, when you're manifesting as we're talking about this, like finding your path. What's the difference between attracting energy and chasing energy?
- [21:32]
Big Sean
Oh boy. Attracting energy and chasing energy. Well, like I said, when you're chasing something, you're already implementing the energy of it running away from you. You know what I mean? And not to say you can't get it, but it's a lot of effort to chase something. It's like even police on a high speed chase, it's like they might have to crash into other cars and they're chasing you. And when you attract something, you are using the powers that have been granted to you from God, universe, whatever you call it or believe in of it magnetizing to you. And you have that power. It's been the power that's been, you know, we use it on a level, on small levels every day. Even if you just set an intent. Hey, today I need to take a shower. That's literally you set a goal, you did it, it's done. You can do that on a scale of anything that that happens. And some things may take a lot more time than others. You know, we all, we have these ideas and expectations we set for ourselves, but that's on us. You know, that's our ego sometimes, that's our, you know, wants and desires and our minds sometimes getting the best of us. And I think that things do take time, but there is always a way. And you know you can never count yourself out.
- [22:58]
Jay Shetty
Sometimes life can seem challenging and overcoming problems can seem impossible. But when you focus on your problems, it can keep you from seeing the good in your life. One thing that helps me when I need a change in perspective is acknowledging the small wins in life. I encourage my team to pay attention to small wins because it helps them see positive outcomes and the steps that they are achieving on the road to a bigger goal. Use the power of small wins to shift your outlook and you will start to see positive changes. State Farm is also there to help you. You find personal wins and celebrate the small things in life. The State Farm Personal Price Plan helps you create an affordable price just for you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer, availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. I'll be honest, managing money has always been something I've had to stay mindful about. It feels like everywhere you turn, someone's trying to make you spend. That's where Acorns comes in. Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easy to start saving and investing for your future. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now. Even if all you've got is spare change. Sign up now and join the over 13 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $22 billion with Acorns. Plus Acorns will boost your new account with a $20 bonus investment offer available@acorns.com purpose that's Acorns.com purpose to get your $20 bonus investment today paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to Positively promote Acorns Tier 6 compensation provided investment involves risk Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures@acorns.com purpose if you love.
- [25:11]
Big Sean
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- [25:37]
Jay Shetty
FDIC terms and more@applecard.com what's been the most difficult thing you've ever had to accept?
- [25:45]
Big Sean
The most difficult thing that I've ever had to accept is that the things that I can't control. I used to let the things that I can't control control me. Give me an example, like how someone perceives your art as an artist. Like Erykah Badu says, we're emotional about our shit. You know, I think she said something like that.
- [26:08]
Jay Shetty
Yeah.
- [26:09]
Big Sean
That never changes. But you can't control how someone perceives you. All you can do is put first of all to make something, to write something, to have an idea and actualize it is like, that is really the win. For real. I'm not just saying that. That is like, come on. You know what I mean? You literally manifested something. How people consume it. If you impact anyone, you. That's literally a bonus to it. You know, that's why we do it. But that's, that's you literally changing the world. So one thing I've had to accept is like, yeah, how people, like, I can't control what people think of me, their perceptions of me. And when I try and control that, it takes me off of my path that I'm on, of where I need to go.
- [27:00]
Jay Shetty
Yeah.
- [27:00]
Big Sean
You know, so that's been. That's, that's. That is something hard and you have to separate. Like I said, that power of separation of doing what you love to do and not tying it into how people perceive it, those are two separate things.
- [27:15]
Jay Shetty
Which is so hard.
- [27:16]
Big Sean
It is.
- [27:17]
Jay Shetty
It's so hard, isn't it? And I loved what you said, that when you get fixated on what other people think of you, you're just getting distracted from your path. Of course, because now you're placing energy on and then you might even shift what you're doing to try and appease them, and then they still won't like it. And that's the craziest part. Right. You do what you want and they don't like it. And then you do what they want and they still don't like. And then you don't know who you are anymore and no one likes it. And you don't like it either.
- [27:45]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [27:45]
Jay Shetty
And you end up not liking yourself, trying to get everyone else to like you.
- [27:48]
Big Sean
And that's where you don't want to.
- [27:50]
Jay Shetty
Be at, and that's where you don't want to be at.
- [27:51]
Big Sean
And then you're kind of like, back to a square one, you know, position of like, okay, having to reestablish yourself and, you know, you got to be right with yourself first. So you, you, you nailed it right on the head, man. It's like, you know, you can't, you can't really. Do you live your life for other people? I always say that's a business you'll never be successful at, is the business of trying to please everyone. And then when you do please everyone, it's like, are you pleasing yourself?
- [28:19]
Jay Shetty
It's a hard, it's a hard lesson as well for people because we all naturally want to make the people around us happy. And our childhood has so much to do with that. You know, we were speaking a bit earlier and I was talking about how like, I was the peacemaker in my family. I was the mediator. I was the person as a young one, as a 10 year old.
- [28:38]
Big Sean
Wow.
- [28:39]
Jay Shetty
And so I was always trying to keep the peace and listen to people and understand them and understand what was going on. And so I always had to read in between the lines. And I always had to have a great sense of when something was gonna kick off and how did. And I wasn't trying to make peace in the sense of like, everyone's just got to get along. I was always trying to get to the root of it and go, what healings needed here? And I don't know, I just always did that. And you know, what's, you know, what's.
- [29:05]
Big Sean
Special about that, man, is that I think that we choose our parents before. You know, I think as spirits, we choose our parents. This is what I believe. Right. It's just a concept that I believe. And some people be like, well, that's. I was in a family where it wasn't easy this, and I would have never chosen that. But you don't understand that, you know, to be one of the billion of sperm that make it into the egg and conceptualize, you really fought to be in this world. Right? And I truly believe that God doesn't give you what you want. God gives you what you need first and foremost, and you don't know how the development. There are some people who need a nurturing family. That's perfect, right? And then there are some people who actually learn maybe even more and become more of a positive force for the world to change it by learning of what not to do from their parents directly all the time. Or not all the time, but like, in certain situations, you know. So I just think that, you know, you being the mediator, you were. You were on a course, you were learning at such a young age of things to apply or what not to apply to your marriage. And the fact that you were that. Because we talked about it off camera, the fact that you were a mediator, the fact that you were that for your family at such a young age, it's just incredible. Because look at the path that has led you to, man. You're impacting everybody, man. You're impacting, like, the world, you know, and me and families. And you're really changing it with, like, the. The person you are and the heart that you have. Have, you know? So. Wow. I'm just. I just gotta pay my respect to you.
- [30:43]
Jay Shetty
No, you're too kind, man. I got lucky. I met good men. I feel like important people. And we've talked about in previous interviews when you've come on about your mother's role in your life.
- [30:52]
Big Sean
Oh, yeah.
- [30:53]
Jay Shetty
And how pivotal she was. And for me, my monk teachers. You met Radhanath Swami.
- [30:57]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [30:57]
Jay Shetty
When. When he came to my student. Jay came over a couple of years back.
- [31:00]
Big Sean
Amazing.
- [31:00]
Jay Shetty
And you met him. And meeting him was so pivotal to my whole spiritual journey. I was gonna ask you. I mean, talking about kids picking their parents. Noah picked you.
- [31:09]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [31:09]
Jay Shetty
He did talk to us about how fatherhood has transformed your views on the learning experience of what you've learned from fatherhood that you couldn't have learned from anything else.
- [31:20]
Big Sean
Well, when you have a kid and you see them and they look like you and they look like their mom, you see that they smile like you or smile like her. How, you know, you see all these things and you realize, okay, and then they kind of look like my brother, and they kind of look like her granddad and her, you know, all these different family members, right? And you're like, this is really crazy. And he'll do something that is, like, reminiscent of what you used to do, right? So then I realized that, okay, the DNA is like a computer. It's information that gets passed on on and on and on, right? So you're really the culmination of A whole lineage. Right. And in you. So one of the things that I learned from him, because there are times in my life where I'm like, man, I wish I could talk to my grandma. You know, my grandma was a female black captain in World War II. Man, she was crazy. She was incredible. And like. Or my granddad, they met in World War II. Right. Or, like, I wish I could. Like, I'd be like, man, I wish I could, like, speak to them or, like, get advice from them now, you know, I only known them as a little kid, and then I realized that the information is already in me. All I have to do is just go deeper within and really connect with that. And that's something that I learned from my son being born. Somehow that clicked is like, he is the culmination of our lineage. All the DNA from my side, from his mom's side, and so on and so forth, and he's. He got. He's got something special going on. So that's one thing I learned. And another thing I learned is to go back to the simplistic beauties of life. When we're on walks out in nature, he's so fascinated with, like, the flowers and the birds and, like, just like, oh, this or that or bug be. You know, he's like. And it just has given me a whole new excitement for that.
- [33:10]
Jay Shetty
Yeah.
- [33:11]
Big Sean
And I really appreciate him for teaching me. I feel like he's teaching me as much as we teach him. I feel like he's teaching all of us a lot as well. And he's also teaching all of us that, like, hey, we can be happy right now. He's like. Even if he's, like, distraught or something, he'll go do something and be happy right there and chooses it. And I love that.
- [33:31]
Jay Shetty
Man, I'm so glad I asked you. Asked you that question, because I knew you'd have such a deep answer for it. Like, your answer, the first part of it, the idea that your child has all of that within. Like, you were just saying you wish you could talk to your grandparents.
- [33:45]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [33:45]
Jay Shetty
Which I wish I could interview your grandparents. I mean, that sounds like a phenomenon. Phenomenal.
- [33:49]
Big Sean
Yeah. Thank you.
- [33:50]
Jay Shetty
Journey and Story to hear about it. And I want to know how much more you know about what they did or how much you don't. But I love the idea that we actually have it encapsulated within us. Like, it's coded in us.
- [34:01]
Big Sean
It is.
- [34:02]
Jay Shetty
And even if we're unaware of it. And I was talking to a researcher the other day. I was doing some Research for my next book. And she was talking to me. We were finding this research that was talking about how when kids are told their ancestral stories, they have a much deeper sense of belonging. And so the reason why so many of us feel so lost today is we've never been told deep stories about where our parents come from, where our grandparents come from, what they went through. Not in a way to make us feel like a victim or feel at a disadvantage, but to hear a story from the perspective of this is your heritage.
- [34:41]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [34:41]
Jay Shetty
And then you feel like you belong to something so much more bigger and beyond you, whereas most of us are just like, oh, yeah, I'm from West Hollywood or whatever. Right. It's like, it's such a light, you know, it's like a. It's like a temporary residence.
- [34:53]
Big Sean
It is.
- [34:54]
Jay Shetty
But like, when you know you belong to something eternal, like I was talking to the researcher, I was saying that in my life, the things that have helped me the most when I'm going through a tough time, a difficult time, a real low, is recognizing that I'm part of a 5,000 year old tradition. So when I'm repeating the Gita, which is a 5,000 year old scripture, which is the text I learned as a monk, when I realize I'm connected to that lineage, I feel unstoppable.
- [35:24]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [35:24]
Jay Shetty
Because I'm like, that survived for 5,000 years. I'm going to be all right. Like, I'm going to be okay.
- [35:30]
Big Sean
Right.
- [35:30]
Jay Shetty
Whereas when you just think like, oh man, I've, you know, I've just been on the planet for like 30 years and I'm trying to figure it out, it can feel quite uncomfortable.
- [35:38]
Big Sean
Fact.
- [35:39]
Jay Shetty
And so I love what you're saying, that actually inside your son Noah there is the coding.
- [35:44]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [35:45]
Jay Shetty
Of his grandparents.
- [35:46]
Big Sean
It is in all of us. It's like time traveling. People always try and figure out how to preserve themselves. You know the expression, oh, I'm living through my kids or I'm living. That's real. I realize how much power these simple expressions have.
- [35:59]
Jay Shetty
Tell me more.
- [35:59]
Big Sean
I like this, like, communication can save a nation or like, you know, but like, yeah. I really feel like we always try and think like, oh, there's not enough time. There's not enough time. There's a real, real, real truth to I'm living through my kids. Or whoever. Or whoever you choose to. I don't even think it has to be your kids. I think that your blood, your lineage, it's like you really are. You really do time travel, you know, a thousand Years from now, there may be some descendants that look like us, you know, or like slight, you know, you'd be like, oh, you, you know, I look like my dad's dad.
- [36:40]
Jay Shetty
You do?
- [36:41]
Big Sean
Yeah, yeah. I've never met him, you know, he unfortunately passed, you know, when I was super little and I never even met him, but he's a part of me too. And I think that's also why it's important to work on yourself and to heal certain traumatic experiences. Because with all this information we pass on, you also pass on the, the good and the bad. You know what I mean? So, you know, you, you heal things health wise and you heal things traumatic wise, you know, or trauma wise. And, you know, it's really important to work on yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually because you pass on all of that as well.
- [37:20]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, for sure, man. I mean, that's what's so interesting. Right? Like within you, you have the coding of the greatness.
- [37:27]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [37:27]
Jay Shetty
And the heritage. And you have the coding of the unhealed generational trauma that keeps being passed down. What was something you had to look at in your background and past generationally, traumatically that wasn't healed, that you were like, I'm not gonna pass this to Noah. Like, this has to stop this time.
- [37:49]
Big Sean
Oh, so many things, so many. Like worry. One thing. I used to worry so much, create all of these scenarios in my head. And I think that's like a double edged sword. You know, when you have an imagination and you're creative, you create, right? So you can create good, you could create bad, but they're, they're. One of the experience that life has taught me is to never worry, no matter what, you're going to be fine, you know, I think one of my biggest fears used to be like, what if I lose everything? Right? And what if I have to go back to, you know, growing up in Detroit, in the hood, blah, blah, blah. And I. And then it's just like, well, I was, I could, I was happy there too. Like, I shouldn't be scared to lose any of this stuff because this stuff is conditional. And it's like, I'm gonna be good wherever I'm at. I remember when I talked aside guru, I was like, where's your favorite place in the world? He's like, wherever I'm at. And I was like, damn. You know, so it kind of goes back to that, that like, that's one of the things I don't want to pass on to him. It's like, you never have to worry, you know, you know, you could. You could be fueled. You could let something inspire you to be greater. You could let something light a fire under you. But like, don't ever worry because you have what it takes to. To get to wherever you got to get to, you know?
- [39:06]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah. How do you kind of imprint that in a young child? Like, how do you.
- [39:11]
Big Sean
You do you imprint that in a young child? By building up his confidence. And that's one of the things I love about my boy. It's like he's so confident. He's like, you know, I never am. Like, that's something that I want to keep feeding him. Even on a song I wrote about him on my album, I said, I see my inner child in him. Instill the remnants. Will he lose it to the world as an imminent or is it something that me and his mom have instilled in him? And the confidence you lose, you could build again. Oh, so it's like so good. Yeah. And like, I just want to water that. I think that when I was a kid, my mom and my dad came up in like a civil rights moment in the country. Like, my mom had to drink from like a different water fountain. You know, my, My family has been through a lot. My mom's great aunt, who was like an old woman, my mom will go visit her in North Carolina, was born a slave. So that just goes to show you how close that that lineage is too. Right. It's like, it kind of feels like it's so far away, but it's not. She was an old woman and my mom was a baby, but my mom is alive now. So the connection of that is like few and far between. My point being is that my mom and my dad did the best that they could, but they came from an era where they had to really be, don't be too loud, be control. Don't do. Get out of line. Like, you know, my mom would be like, when you get pulled over, like, make sure your hat is off. And like you. They see you face and you be respectful and. And I think there was a lot to that, but it was, it was coming from a little bit of a, of a fear based place sometimes. And that's something that I recognize and that's something that my mom has helped me recognize too, through all of the knowledge she's given me and my dad. But like, one of the things I want to pass on to him is that like, be confident in who you are because you have what it takes. He has. You could already tell he has a great heart. He has a great spirit. He loves making. Trying to make people laugh. You know, not even at 2 years old, he was like before, like 1 year old, like, telling, you know, trying to, like, make you smile. And it's just like, just want to keep watering that confidence in him, you know?
- [41:24]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. And. And that confidence kind of talks nicely to the second practice. In your book, you talk about strategizing.
- [41:31]
Big Sean
Yeah, strategizing.
- [41:32]
Jay Shetty
And I love that you went there, because I think a lot of people see spirituality and strategy as opposite opposites or they separate them.
- [41:41]
Big Sean
Right.
- [41:41]
Jay Shetty
And I know we've always vibed on the fact that to me, they go hand in hand.
- [41:46]
Big Sean
Absolutely.
- [41:46]
Jay Shetty
Because strategy is just intentionality in action. Right. Like, that's. That's what it is.
- [41:52]
Big Sean
Strategy is intent. Intentionality and action.
- [41:54]
Jay Shetty
Right. Yeah. It's like you have intention, and then you get activated around an intention, and that's how you strategize. But I think often people think strategy has to be conniving or like some sort of manipulation. But. But that's not what you mean. So when you say we need to get strategic, how do we build the skill of becoming strategic? And what does it mean?
- [42:16]
Big Sean
Well, I think you recognize, like you said, is this strategy, to me is the key to getting. Is one of the keys to move from where you are to where you have to be. Because you identify where you desire to be. Because you identify so much. And you get to research, you get to plot and plan. Nothing, you know, nothing that is really amazing in life is. Doesn't come without a plan. You know what I mean? There are a lot of spontaneous things, and I do believe in the energy of spontaneity and, like. But strategizing to me is so important, and there's so many ways to do it. You know, you could, like, study someone from afar. That's kind of one of the beauties of the Internet is like, you can kind of study and know someone you really respect. Or you may have someone in your family, or you may have someone in your neighborhood, or you may have someone, but even say someone from across the world that you really respect, you can study a lot of their. What they have put out in the world.
- [43:25]
Jay Shetty
Yes.
- [43:26]
Big Sean
And sometimes that's all you need. There have been times where when you get to know someone fully, you might get let down a little bit.
- [43:32]
Jay Shetty
Yeah.
- [43:32]
Big Sean
It's like, because you have all these expectations and you meet them and it's like, wait, what? You know? But I think there comes again the power of separation. Like, you got to separate that and you know, so I know I'm talking a lot, but.
- [43:46]
Jay Shetty
No, no, it's good.
- [43:47]
Big Sean
Yeah. I do think that, like, strategizing is a real key to happiness, you know, and strategy, it doesn't have to be, like, a deep thing. Strategizing could just be as simple as writing your intentions down, strategizing your day. How are you going to approach this? I always, like, before I get into a studio session or anything, I always, like, meditate and I write down what I would like to experience in the session. You know, what would I like to get done, how would that feel? And I kind of lock onto that feeling before I go and do what I got to do.
- [44:22]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. I'm glad that you pointed out that strategizing starts with studying, because then it becomes. You study something and then you apply it. And that's what strategy is. You study it first and then you apply it. And. And I was thinking about it as you were saying, like, strategizing your day. I was thinking about, if you think about New York, it's a grid system. That's a strategy.
- [44:41]
Big Sean
That's a strategy.
- [44:42]
Jay Shetty
It's a strategy. Like, that's what it is. If you look at. If you travel to Europe, you'll see there was a strategy in how towns were built where, like, the church would be in the middle of the town.
- [44:52]
Big Sean
Exactly.
- [44:52]
Jay Shetty
There'd be a river flowing through the middle. There'd be a bridge over the river. There was a strategy in how it was built in order to create an experience of the city. And I feel, you know, that's what it is. It's thinking about your life and thinking, what are the pillars and priorities in my life?
- [45:08]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [45:09]
Jay Shetty
Like, what are the things that are. Like, almost like building a city.
- [45:12]
Big Sean
Exactly.
- [45:13]
Jay Shetty
Right. It goes, okay, well, a city needs a fire station, because sometimes there's going to be a fire.
- [45:18]
Big Sean
Right.
- [45:18]
Jay Shetty
It needs a school, because I need to learn. It needs a hospital, because sometimes you're going to get ill. Like, what does a city need? And you've got to look at your life in the same way and go, what does my life need?
- [45:29]
Big Sean
And sometimes that's exactly what your life needs, is structure.
- [45:32]
Jay Shetty
Yes.
- [45:32]
Big Sean
You know, when you feel like you're all over the place and things aren't happening, sometimes you just need a little bit of structure and strategy to jumpstart it and build the foundation to build on, you know? So that's a perfect analogy.
- [45:43]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. What was the best strategy you ever built to achieve something in your life? What example would you give from your own journey? When were you most strategic effectively.
- [45:53]
Big Sean
There have been times where I was very strategic in times where I wasn't. And one of the times in my life where strategy really helped out was just, like, I would say, securing my first record deal. I always knew I would get a record deal. I would talk about it frequently with my friends. In eighth grade, I would talk about when I, hey, when I sell out the. This, when I sell out the Palace, Auburn Hill. All these things that I did ended up doing later. I just knew it was going to happen. I just didn't know how. And we all know that, like, you can make plans and God laughs at it, but I really feel like when your heart's in the right place and you have the intentions and you put a little bit of strategy to it, okay, like, one of the things that I always wanted to do is like, okay, how can I get on the radio? You know, how can I be. How can I. How can I be on the radio? Then I, you know, did some homework and my friend, oh, there's a radio show where you can battle rap and end up rapping on the radio, you know, and people, okay, that's a way to get on the radio. So how do I get down there? Okay, oh, so I need a ride down there. I would like plan out every aspect. I need to make sure I have a ride to get to the radio station to be able to battle rap. Okay, I need to plan. I need to write a rap for the. When I get on the radio so I have something to rap over, you know, and so it's like you strategize every aspect of it, and it can be fun. Strat. It doesn't have to feel like homework. It don't got to feel like schoolwork. None of us want to do more work. In fact, when you strategize, you probably are eliminating a lot of work, A lot more work. Don't get fooled thinking that, like, you're getting ahead by not doing the work. I'm telling you, when you strategize and plan things out, you're eliminating hours of work. So that is the reason, you know, a lot of us may not have time to read this book. You think, like, I don't have time to read a book. I'm telling you, like reading a book. Not just my book, but a book that impacts you, saves time. It doesn't take time.
- [47:57]
Jay Shetty
Oh, I'm. I'm so glad you said that because, yeah, that's all it does. All it is when you're learning all it does. It Saves time. It stops you from making mistakes. It helps you avoid the ones that someone else made before you. You probably make some new mistakes, for sure.
- [48:12]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [48:13]
Jay Shetty
But you'll avoid so many. And I loved what you said, the way you broke it down. Like, ultimately, strategizing is building steps to that goal. And you're trying to break it down to the step that I can do today and now. Yes, that is small and easy. All the way up. And I love the way you worked backwards, where it's like, all right, I want to be on the radio.
- [48:34]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [48:34]
Jay Shetty
All right, let me break that down. Wait a minute. That means I need to go this. That means I need to do this. That means first I need to do this. Okay. That means right now, I just need to do this.
- [48:42]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [48:42]
Jay Shetty
And I think sometimes we live on level 21 of where we want to go, but then we haven't got the elevator down to level zero to go up. Right. Like, we're just. Our mind is in level 21, and.
- [48:56]
Big Sean
We get mad that we're not on level 21. Exactly. And I'm a victim of that. And I think that, you know, I've gone through experience. I'm not a victim. I have done that before. I've experienced that. So I know how frustrating it could be. But don't let it stress you. Unless you let it. Unless it's eustress, there's distress, and then there's eustress. And that eustress can motivate you. It really can. It could light a fire under you, Go through it. Distress can kind of weigh you down. So you have the power to take any aspect, even depression, and let it either weigh you down or let it fuel you. You know what I mean? So, yeah, I think that. I know it's a lot of people frustrated. I get frustrated still. I'm nowhere near perfect. I'm not talking to you as an expert in any way, shape, or form. I'm literally talking to you as a reflection of you and someone who has gone through these experiences and have just like. And given the game that I've learned, you know, in straight black and white and examples of how I've done it, you know, so.
- [49:57]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, yeah, for sure. You've gave us an idea of when you were strategic, what was. What was the time when you were chaotic.
- [50:05]
Big Sean
So there are times where, yeah, I've let things go. I didn't strategize. There's always things you haven't thought about that you got to come back to later. Like when I had a Fell out with some family members, like, even my mom. Our relationship got tainted for a long time, and it was like I was not calling her. I was not checking in. I wasn't doing anything that. A son. And now having a son, I really feel the. The. The depth of that. You know what I'm saying? And I didn't. I could have strategized that better.
- [50:37]
Jay Shetty
Yeah.
- [50:37]
Big Sean
You know what I mean? I could have strategized a lot of things better. And you always have. 20, 20 in hindsight.
- [50:43]
Jay Shetty
Totally, totally, totally. No, and I agree. It's. It's just good to know because. Yeah, it's the same for me. And I love how you said that. Strategy is also sometimes with people, you know, like, we. We say the wrong thing at the wrong time, or you say the right thing but at the wrong time, or you say the right thing but in the wrong way, or you say the right thing but in the wrong place, or you say the right thing and, you know, to the wrong person. Right.
- [51:08]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [51:08]
Jay Shetty
It's like it has to be strategic.
- [51:10]
Big Sean
It does.
- [51:11]
Jay Shetty
Because otherwise it's not digested. We just think as long as I'm saying the right thing, everything will be okay.
- [51:16]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [51:17]
Jay Shetty
But if you say the right thing in the wrong place to the wrong person at the wrong time, in the wrong way, with the wrong word, the wrong language, it doesn't matter how true the thing you said was, was right. And that's what strategy is. Is going. Wait, how do I make sure this lands?
- [51:31]
Big Sean
Wow.
- [51:31]
Jay Shetty
Like, what. What is it? What is required for this? To actually have an impact on someone and to serve them and help them.
- [51:38]
Big Sean
Yeah. And that's what we're here to do, is to serve, really, in every aspect. This always comes down to being of service, you know, and anything we put out there in any interview, in any book, in any song, is really of service to whatever the moment it relates to. You know what I mean? So. Yeah. And that. Yeah, you're right. Saying the right thing to the wrong. And the thing is, you're kind of the only one who can dictate, you know, right or wrong is so opinionated, depending on who you talk to, for sure. You know, there are a lot of people who think that, you know, any. Anything that we could think is wrong, somebody could argue how it's right, you know, even down to black and white. Somebody can argue that this text that says the exact same thing means this thing and. Or this means that thing, you know? So I think it's important to come from a place of understanding and this leads to something else I want to talk about. Because just because you understand something doesn't mean you have to accept it.
- [52:41]
Jay Shetty
Oh.
- [52:42]
Big Sean
Just because you understand it. And that's something that I had to learn the hard way. I thought that I was being this spiritual guy by if I get into a disagreement with someone, understanding where they come from, and then ultimately turns to me not respecting myself because I understand where they're coming from and be like, okay, like, I get it, but the fact that I still get it, it doesn't mean that I can't express myself and I'm not valid.
- [53:09]
Jay Shetty
Yes.
- [53:09]
Big Sean
So I want to make sure that everyone knows that. Because I think that that was something that I learned is to set boundaries. And that's like that big B word. That's like the biggest B word there is is boundaries that I've learned this year. And, like, that has really, really, really changed a lot of dynamics with people and changed a lot of. It's really created a lot of happiness in my life.
- [53:37]
Jay Shetty
Sometimes life can seem challenging and overcoming problems can seem impossible. But when you focus on your problems, it can keep you from seeing the good in your life. One thing that helps me when I need a change in perspective is acknowledging the small wins in life. I encourage my team to pay attention to small wins because it helps them see positive outcomes and the steps that they're achieving on the road to a bigger goal. Use the power of small wins to shift your outlook and you will start to see positive changes. State Farm is also there to help you find personal wins and celebrate the small things in life. The State Farm Personal Price Plan helps you create an affordable price just for you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state.
- [54:34]
Big Sean
Wasn't that delicious? So good. Your bill, ladies. I got it. No, I got it. Seriously, I insist. I insisted first. Don't be silly. You don't be silly. People with the Wells Fargo Active Cash credit card prefer to pay because they earn unlimited 2% cash back on purchases. Okay. Rock, paper, scissors for it.
- [54:54]
Jay Shetty
Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot.
- [54:56]
Big Sean
No. The Wells Fargo Active Cash credit card. Visit wells fargo.com ActiveCash Terms apply. Amazon One Medical presents Painful Thoughts I could catch anything sitting in this doctor's waiting room. A kid just wiped his runny nose on my jacket, and the guy next to Me sitting in a pool of perspiration insists on sharing my armrest. Next. Next time, make an appointment with an.
- [55:24]
Jay Shetty
Amazon One medical provider.
- [55:26]
Big Sean
There's no waiting and no sweaty guy. Amazon One medical healthcare just got less painful.
- [55:35]
Jay Shetty
Why did boundaries become so prominent in the last year?
- [55:38]
Big Sean
As you said, I think I was trying to be a hero in every situation I was in. I'm an empathetic person, so I love to. I really can feel when people are going through something, even when the world is going through something. It's like I kind of really have to, like, really protect myself energetically because I take on a lot of people's problems. You know what I'm saying? I can't help it. And it's not a good. I don't look at it as a bad thing. I just look at it as how I am. You know, do I wish sometimes that I could just cut things off? Yeah. But it had taught me that I can. I just have to set boundaries on what I can and can't accept. And this year, yeah, there are a lot of things that I was tired of feeling uncomfortable in certain situations. I was tired of letting people walk all over me. And just because I understood or I get it, I'm not respecting myself. And I didn't realize that I wasn't respecting myself in that. You know, there are times where, yeah, I need to. I can't go to this thing. I can't do this. Or, you know what? I can't go here. I can't go to Dubai and do this show because I have to be here for my son. I got to take my son trick or treating. You know, I had to set some of those boundaries. That may have cost me one thing, but I gained another. And one of the most important things I gained back from setting boundaries is the trust in myself, you know, the confidence that I feel like I have been building up so. For so long.
- [57:06]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. And I think we're scared of setting boundaries because we are scared of what we lose when we do.
- [57:12]
Big Sean
I know.
- [57:13]
Jay Shetty
And it could be fomo. It could be, you know, the fear of becoming irrelevant, the fear of becoming insignificant.
- [57:19]
Big Sean
The fear of losing a person.
- [57:20]
Jay Shetty
The fear of losing a person. But I. I learned that, too. I remember a time in my life where I had so much compassion fatigue where I just felt like I was there for everyone else, but I had no. And when I say income, I don't mean financially. I mean there was no energy income coming in.
- [57:41]
Big Sean
And you were just a piece of you. You were just a Part of you at that point.
- [57:44]
Jay Shetty
Exactly. And you're just. And it's what you just said, you're trying to be a superhero and you're trying to be the guy. Not in an egotistic way. You actually just care about people for real. But I realized very, very quickly at that time that unless I was full, rested, complete, you know, I wasn't actually able to help anyone. I was just giving people my leftovers.
- [58:08]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [58:08]
Jay Shetty
And not the best of myself and.
- [58:10]
Big Sean
How to enjoy it. And you got to enjoy your life, too.
- [58:13]
Jay Shetty
Totally, totally. And I just found that what, what really helped me was remembering that I didn't have enough to give anyone else if I wasn't in a good place myself, period. And that didn't mean I wanted to get to a good place just for myself. The reason I wanted to get to a good place is so I could give more good to others. And therefore there had to be a structure. There had to be an order of, all right, well, I need to take care of myself. I need to be fully. I need to be ready, and then I can extend myself. But if I keep extending myself to everyone else, chances are I get bitter at them, I'll get mad at myself, and then I won't have anything to give.
- [58:54]
Big Sean
Yeah, that's right.
- [58:55]
Jay Shetty
Right. Yeah. And it just, it's an interesting one, boundaries. Because I feel like, I think we also think we set boundaries for other people, but we do it for ourselves.
- [59:05]
Big Sean
You do it for ourselves.
- [59:06]
Jay Shetty
Because people always be like, oh, this person keeps breaking my boundaries. And I'm like, well, no, you keep breaking your boundaries.
- [59:11]
Big Sean
Exactly.
- [59:12]
Jay Shetty
Right.
- [59:12]
Big Sean
No, yeah, it's, it's, you know, it's like the boundaries, forgiveness, they're not just there for you, you know, forgiveness is for you as well. And boundaries are for you as well. Yeah, it's been tough. I think that I grew up letting people walk all over me. I think I grew up by letting people take advantage of me, straight up, you know, just to be real. And I saw that in my parents, especially my dad. He would let people take advantage of him. He was a very nice guy. And there's nothing, like I said, right or wrong. It's an opinion, you know, it's just a perspective. So I'm not criticizing him or saying he was wrong in any way. It's just the kind spirited, hearted person he is. But along with that, you do have to set your boundaries and respect who you are because you will lose a sense of yourself by trying to take care of everyone else. You will lose a Sense of yourself. If you don't set these boundaries, you will lose a sense of yourself if you don't take the time out to keep connecting with yourself, even if it's something you love. I lost, like, the passion of, like, watching anime. I remember I was working so hard. It's like I hadn't sat and watched anime. I love watching anime. I love Dragon Ball Z. I love, like my hero academia and Demon Slayer and Evangelions and all these things. And that's just one thing that I love. Right. So it's like I have to take time out to do that because it is really important to me.
- [60:37]
Jay Shetty
Yeah.
- [60:38]
Big Sean
So I know all of us have demands. Some of us have family. Some of us work two jobs, three jobs. Some of us. And you say it's impossible, but I'm telling you, if you make that time, you will create more time to be the better version of yourself in any of those situations. I promise you.
- [60:58]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. The other thing that really helped me as a boundary, and this doesn't apply if something's life threatening or urgent, but sometimes someone would call me up and be like, I had a fight with my wife. I had a fight with my husband. And my natural inclination was to, like, fix it. So, like, yeah, let's jump on the phone. I'm gonna help you through it right now.
- [61:19]
Big Sean
Because that's how you were as a 10 year old.
- [61:21]
Jay Shetty
Because that's how I was as a 10 year old.
- [61:22]
Big Sean
Yeah. And so on and so forth. Yeah, go ahead, though.
- [61:24]
Jay Shetty
And then I realized, then actually my new response started to be, yeah, let's talk in three days. And the reason was a. Because maybe I had stuff on and I couldn't run to it. Like I said, it doesn't apply to life threatening.
- [61:39]
Big Sean
Of course, of course, of course.
- [61:40]
Jay Shetty
If someone calls me and goes, I go to the hospital. Obviously I'm going to be there. But if someone's saying, hey, this happened, that happened, I realized I may not be in a position to quit everything in my life to go and be on this call. And those three days, that person actually had to do some processing for themselves. And when I was just jumping on the phone with them, trying to save and solve their problem, I was actually just enabling them to not have to process it themselves. So most people in three days would say to me, they text me and go, jay, actually, I think I figured it out exactly. And I'd be like, great, I'd love to hear it. Let's jump on a call. And now they talk to me. Be like, look, I thought about it. You know, they said this, I said that. But I've. You know, and it just showed me that so much of the time we think we're saving people. We're actually just enabling them. And every time we think we're gonna solve their problem, we're actually just creating more issues for them. Because everyone needs to learn to process mentally and emotionally themselves.
- [62:41]
Big Sean
Wow.
- [62:41]
Jay Shetty
And so sometimes, like, jumping in to help someone, you actually end up hurting them.
- [62:45]
Big Sean
Wow. Because.
- [62:46]
Jay Shetty
Because.
- [62:46]
Big Sean
Big one.
- [62:47]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. Because they need to do it themselves. And so sometimes I just set that boundary with myself. It wasn't like, I don't want to be there for my friend or a family member. I just realized being there for them meant not being there right now, and they didn't know that. But then when I saw them benefit from it, I realized that actually, space sometimes gave them what they needed more than my words could.
- [63:09]
Big Sean
Yeah. Because it goes back to, like, we were talking about. A lot of the answers are in you. You know, a lot of the things you're looking for, the resolutions, they are in you. And sometimes it may take a little while to rise to the surface, and sometimes they'll figure out. But one of the worst things you could do is impact somebody in the moment of them being emotional or in the moment of rage or in the, you know, influencing them. You could really ruin something, you know, because you're feeding off of their emotions. It's like, yeah. Yeah, I should just leave. Yeah, you should just leave. Like, instead of just being like, hey, take some time to, you know, talk through it. You know, it's really. That's a. That's a real important. Great lesson, man.
- [63:53]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, it's. It's helped me a lot.
- [63:55]
Big Sean
That's a great way of. Of exercising boundaries.
- [63:59]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. What. What other daily habits you talk about journaling and meditation in the book. And I want to talk about both of them because I think they talked about a lot today. But I want to hear about your deep, specific habits and how it's become such a ritual for you. So let's start with journaling. Like, obviously, you're a writer.
- [64:19]
Big Sean
All right.
- [64:19]
Jay Shetty
Anyway.
- [64:20]
Big Sean
Doesn't make it easier.
- [64:21]
Jay Shetty
No, Yeah. I was gonna say, like, what's different about writing music? Writing the book versus journaling?
- [64:27]
Big Sean
Like, oh, completely different. So music, I don't even. Like, I kind of just. When I get in the studio, I kind of just let it flow through me. And I learned that from, like, Kanye and Jay Z and Common. Now, there are a lot of people who do write on pads like Eminem, you know, who was amazing to me and a lot of people I know. But how I do it personally is I just kind of, like, feel through it and let it stream to me. And I, like, go on a mic and, like, not necessarily freestyle it, but, yeah, just piece it together. You got to come for a session one day, but then I'd love to. When it comes to journaling, that's my time where I put, like, my sword. You know, your pen is like your sword to paper, and you are setting your strategizing and you're setting your intentions of, you know, things you may like to experience. But I also like to do, like, gratitude. For some reason, gratitude just seems to magnetize more of the things that I'm thankful for in my life. I've seen it work in a lot of ways, and that's my belief, you know, so the things that you are grateful for, you have to let the world know that you're grateful for it, because how else is it going to know to give it back to you, you know, or to bring it to you or to the people around you. And it also is a great way for me to, you know, and I practice. I am. It's so much power. So I am grateful. I am this. I am happy. I am confident. I am happy that I get to sit down and talk to my friend Jay today. You know, I'm. I'm happy. I get to whatever the case is, right? So that's what I do. And then at the end of it of the journal of the. When I do the gratitude stuff, and there are times where I write how I feel, not as much. I also speak out loud by myself. You know, there are a lot of processes I do, but when I do that journal, I sign it at the bottom of it like a contract. And I like, sometimes I put it is done, or I put, like, so be it, because it's a declaration.
- [66:33]
Jay Shetty
Oh, I.
- [66:34]
Big Sean
When I do that and I sign it because it's that important to me, I have to sign my contracts. I have to sign things that will be upheld as an important thing, and that's how the level of importance even more that I hold that to. So I sign it every time.
- [66:51]
Jay Shetty
That is so good, man. I've never heard that before. I'm going to start doing that.
- [66:54]
Big Sean
It's powerful.
- [66:55]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, I've never signed it. That's dope.
- [66:57]
Big Sean
It's powerful. And j. Does everything I write down come to fruition? No. Sometimes it does. A lot of them do. And Then I realized that I'm also on God's time. So the things that I've always wanted and things that I've desired, it may not just be the right moment in my journey for that, but that's the beauty of it, man. I'm like, I'm still here, I'm still able, I'm still inspired, I'm still passionate, you know.
- [67:25]
Jay Shetty
Beautiful.
- [67:26]
Big Sean
Yeah. Yeah. So that's how I. That's how I do my journaling. I also have like a. There's a book I have of like poetry too that I like write poems and stuff. I've only. I only write a few a year, honestly. But like I like fully write and draw around the poem and like it was really like a beautiful art. It's just some. Something I do for fun. I haven't actually. I've only written one this year and last year I wrote a few, so maybe inspired me to write one today. But that's kind of all it is. But I don't spend too much time on it. Takes me about five to 12 minutes.
- [68:02]
Jay Shetty
That's great, max.
- [68:04]
Big Sean
And then I meditate after that because it kind of like. It's kind of like a good transition to like the energy is set for me to like to meditate because when I meditate, I feel like I'm attracting these things more and giving myself the best shot of being the most productive, the most impactful that I can be, you know. So that's. That's kind of the first thing I do when I wake up, if I can. Being a dad, though there are times where I get every woken up and I have to go immediately, you know. And so I come back to it later on. It's not preferred that way, but it's a good trade off.
- [68:43]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah. What does your meditation look like? I love. Because I've learned so much just now. You journal, I've never heard. So be it. It is done. Or. Or the signature at the end. I'm going to start practicing those three. I like those a lot.
- [68:57]
Big Sean
Yeah. Because it's that important.
- [68:59]
Jay Shetty
That is beautiful, man. I get that. Like what you just said about we sign contracts, sign checks. Like there's very few things we still sign.
- [69:07]
Big Sean
Exactly. Right.
- [69:08]
Jay Shetty
And they're very important.
- [69:10]
Big Sean
Yeah, they're important documents. And that is an important document.
- [69:12]
Jay Shetty
I love that.
- [69:13]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [69:13]
Jay Shetty
So what about your meditation? What does your practice look like?
- [69:16]
Big Sean
It depends. I love doing guided meditation. Sometimes I love doing. I kind of have my own process where I like and visualize the light of creation. Like the light of the sun and it like really filling my whole body up and literally everything that doesn't align with that, anything that isn't that light and bright, you know what I'm saying, immediately leaves my body and goes back into the earth. And like, so, you know, there are times where I, if I'm not in nature, I imagine myself in nature and like things going back into the earth and I like surround myself, you know, from my. I forgot the word. The esoteric body. I think it's like one inch off you, then your emotional body, then your mental body and like I just do the same thing. Like it's like a shower of light. It's like hopping in the shower after you work out like a bit of light and whatever it is. I kind of like cater to how I'm feeling. So from there I'll like, if I have like something wrong with my stomach, I like, for some reason I associate green with healing energy, right? And this comes from years of like practice or I associate royal blue with power, you know, the power of the universe. I associate like red with the love of the universe, the love and support of the universe. And like I represent like the violet flame of Saint Germain, like to cleanse things that are holding me back. Right. So I do, I have like quite a process and I break it down in a book and afterwards I feel just, it really makes a big difference. And you know, I read this book, the Hidden Messages in Water, I believe it's called. And it talked about, you know, there's like itty bitty microscopic crystals in water and they, one of the part of the book they experiment of like how positively when you speak to water, like, hey, you're amazing, I love you keep going like you're beautiful. And then they had another water glass or container of water where they said like, you suck. It's never that, you know, real negative. And you look at the crystals and one is like a beautiful snowflake looking crystal and then the other one is like distorted and all damaged. And we are 70, 80% water. So these things, when you write these affirmations down or when you say them out loud or when you journal, these things have a real effect on you tremendously. Like scientifically. It's not even like a woo woo type of thing. It's not even like, it's not even up for debate, you know what I'm saying? It's literally scientific for the people who are more, you know, need the proof as opposed to it, you know, more analytical than like opinion based. So I Just want to stress the importance of it. It really is. And by the way, the most. The most honorable people that I've met and, like, what I consider to be successful, and I don't mean richest, I just mean successful in, like, the impact, what they're doing, how they are. Yeah, they meditate. They all, you know, from my favorite rappers down to my favorite. Down to you, you know, down to anyone who I just really admire. Yeah, yeah. And, and, and, and you can meditate in your own ways. They're like. I know, like, Janae does different meditations, you know, through sound healing or mirror meditations. I know people who do shower meditations, walking. There's no wrong way to meditate either. That's another misconception. There's no wrong way to do it. The fact that you take the intention out, or if you focus on your breathing, the fact that you take the. The time out to be that conscious of yourself, over time, you will get more and more into it. It's like anything you do, and it will. You will see the effects of it.
- [73:00]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. What was. What. Have you ever meditated with another rapper that was interesting or anything like that? Like, anyone that had an interesting practice that I wouldn't know about? Does Eminem meditate?
- [73:11]
Big Sean
You know what? I have never meditated with Eminem, but he is a very. Eminem is a very, like, amazing person, so I wouldn't be surprised. I know Jay Z does.
- [73:23]
Jay Shetty
Wow.
- [73:23]
Big Sean
I haven't meditated with him, but I know he does.
- [73:25]
Jay Shetty
Yeah.
- [73:26]
Big Sean
And, you know, there are all different ways and forms, of course. You know, sometimes just sitting and visualizing and, like, seeing these things is a form of meditation. It could be your way. So you have to find out these ways that work for you. Just like therapy, it's like, I can't. I can tell you how therapy worked for me, but you may go to a therapist that isn't right for you and be like, oh, therapy is whack. But that's not. That's just, you know, my specific situation. A lot of times, therapy for me has pushed me to the edge of realization and has been the extra push that I needed to. Sometimes I already knew the answer, but sometimes I needed to talk it through, and sometimes I needed to really exercise. And sometimes I deal with something new that awakened the truth in me. Through therapy and having someone that I could confide in that wasn't a family member, that wasn't a best friend, that wasn't a. That I wasn't in a relationship with and was able to apply it to all of those other relationships and in a very successful way.
- [74:25]
Jay Shetty
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- [75:23]
Big Sean
Wasn't that delicious? So good. Your bill, ladies. I got it. No, I got it. Seriously, I insist. I insisted first. Don't be silly. You call me silly? Silly People with the Wells Fargo Active Cash credit card prefer to pay because they earn unlimited 2% cash back on purchases. Okay. Rock, paper, scissors for it.
- [75:43]
Jay Shetty
Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot.
- [75:45]
Big Sean
No, the Wells Fargo Active Cash credit card. Visit Wells Fargo.com ActiveCash Terms Apply Amazon Pharmacy Presents Painful Thoughts the guy in front of me in the pharmacy line is halfway through an incredibly detailed 17 minute story about his gout. A story likely more painful than the gout itself. Next time, save yourself the pain and let Amazon Pharmacy deliver your meds right to your door. Amazon Pharmacy Healthcare just got less painful.
- [76:23]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, in the book you talk about how I think it was. Like in 2016, you said you nearly got addicted to Adderall when you were touring with Rihanna. And I was thinking, like, how do you stop yourself, like in that moment? Like, what was the habit or the tool or the practice? Was it therapy? Was it meditation? What was it that helped you recover from that?
- [76:44]
Big Sean
Man. So first of all, Adderall is like synthetic. You know, I don't know, they say like heroin, all these things, right? Like, just a lot to it. And I'm really into Eastern medicine personally. You know, I used to have heart, a real bad heart problem that I fixed through literally taking magnesium and some other supplements that a doctor told me that I had to get surgery for. They told me they had to cut my heart Open and put a pacemaker in it, you know, so when I started taking Adderall, it's because I was putting myself on a clock that didn't exist. I was putting myself under pressure and I was living in a fear based way. And I started taking Adderall because I wanted to accomplish more. And it was very. It worked. But at the expense of so many things, honestly, the expense of like my, like affecting my soul and changing the person that I was and depleting my body, it shut it off. It creates synthetic dopamine in your brain. So it creates all this dopamine. But your natural dopamine, that is responsible for your happiness, for your inspiration or your creativity, who makes you who you are. It shuts off. It shuts it off. And after a while, you're kind of relying on this synthetic dopamine only. And I remember as time went on, I would go in the studio and I feel like I couldn't do anything without it. And that's when I knew I had a real problem with it. So I went cold turkey. And that is like, that was probably the second bout of depression in my life that I went through. That was like rid. That's when I was like wanting to kill myself. Like, I was just like, my mind was playing all these tricks on me, right? And it didn't matter that I had, like, I had a big ass house in Beverly Hills. It didn't matter that I had millions of dollars in the account. And it didn't matter because as great as a lot of those things are, they're still separate. This. I'm wearing a Linkin park shirt, you know, Chester, I can't speak for him, God rest his soul, but like, who would think that, like, oh, that someone, you know, who's one of the biggest rock stars in the world in the band, regardless of, you know, what they talked about in their music, like, would do that, you know, or this delete, you know, Kurt Cobain, you know, all these things, right? So it's because it's all separate, you know? And I'm not saying that money can't make you happy, by the way. I don't like when, like, you know, I don't like when rich people get on camera and be like, money isn't everything. It isn't everything, but it's a lot. It's a resource that is very needed in every. In anything you need to do in this world.
- [79:28]
Jay Shetty
I agree.
- [79:29]
Big Sean
You need it. So it is important. It's very important. I'm not gonna, like, sit in Here and say it isn't. But it was separate from what I had to deal with at the time. So, yeah, it was. I went cold turkey and that's when I got stopped everything I was doing. And I called my mom, who we weren't on great terms, and she came out and was in. In my house with me and entry. My mom has always shout out my dad too. My dad is with me today.
- [79:57]
Jay Shetty
I know.
- [79:57]
Big Sean
I love my dad. He's like, man, make sure you shout me out too. Like, yeah, I'm gonna shout you out too. Like, my dad is great. But my mom, at that point in those certain points in my life, just a few key points, she knew what she had a solution to offer me always. And I really appreciate that. It's something I hope to do for my kid and kids. And she was like. Introduced me to, you know, she was. Who put me on meditation. She just would always introduce me to certain things. Try this. Try this method. And then I started realizing how connected physical, mental, emotional, spiritual are. And I started working out. I started prioritizing myself. It started putting me first, started reconnecting with things I wanted to do, started trying new things, jumping out of planes. I was doing, going to the gun range, just trying things out that I was like, hey, that's interesting. Let me try it. And it really helped me reconnect with myself. I started watching anime again. And then, you know, I had to take a break from the studio because I wasn't. I couldn't think of anything. And then I finally got back in and was inspired again. And life is the greatest inspiration. But what I can say is, to people who are addicted to Adderall and like other drugs, that that synthetic high is. Is very temporary, and they said at an expense. And it's different when people who have ADHD, who necessarily need it, but there are even other ways to deal with that. And I guarantee you they will take less of your body. You know, these things, like when these prescriptions, they mess up your kidneys, your liver, and as simple as that sounds, these, your liver, your gut, messing up your gut. These. Your gut is your second brain. It dictates so much more than we've been led on to know. I think that's why Roddy is so. Yeah, you know, into the food. Because it's not just food. It's like, it's. It's. It's so much more than that. So I know I'm running on and on, but my point is, is that it was very tough, but you get through it. And they're on the other side of it. You. You. You come out as like a true champion, and you're the source of it.
- [82:04]
Jay Shetty
Yeah.
- [82:04]
Big Sean
And there's no better drug or high than being high off life. There is no better thing because you're the actual drug. You're the actual source of it. It's not something you have to take to get to there. It's like you are and there isn't. You'll be. You can soar. You go. Go higher than ever.
- [82:24]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. Go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [82:26]
Big Sean
For real.
- [82:26]
Jay Shetty
How do you feel your grandmother would feel reading this, these pages?
- [82:31]
Big Sean
My grandma was one of the first people to give me a book of. It was a book about King Solomon. And that book changed the. My life. And it talks about the strategies of King Solomon, how he had his. Ran his business, how he strategized, how, you know, how King Solomon. He didn't. He wanted wisdom. That's what he wanted. And that's why he was granted everything else. That's why he was the richest man who ever lived is because that's not what he was saw. He didn't. He didn't seek the power. He sought the wisdom to help people. And God gave him the resources by making him the richest man. Right. So anyway, you know, so my grandma, she was like one of the first female black captains in World War II. She was one of the first, like, female police officers, a teacher, a counselor. She was incredible, right. Her and my granddad met in World War II, and she was the example of hard work. The example of nothing is something. She lived on the street called Outer Drive, which was a. That's where Marvin Gaye used to live when he lived in Detroit. It's like a real prestigious street. And I can imagine that that was like, one of her proudest accomplishments. So I really got love for her. I think she would read this book and be proud, you know, I think so. And I think that, you know, as a scholar, she would probably be like, correcting some of my grammar and, you know, things of that. But she would be very proud. She was very strict in a lot of ways, and she believed that education, going to college was the way to a better life. And I went a different way. I didn't go to college. I was like, when. Instead I went to the music. And she knew I had respect for her because I always had good grades. But even when I chose the exact opposite of what she wanted me to do, she supported me wholeheartedly. And I spent all the bonds she saved up all the money she saved up for college, I spent it all on studio sessions. And I can't imagine how mad or how pissed off that might have made her. But through it all, she supported me. And I just appreciate. She just shows me how much she valued family. And I was able to buy a house for her and my mom before they passed. She actually saw the music pay off. And we used to watch all these westerns and Jeopardy. And all these things. And I remember she was watching Jeopardy and I was actually a question on Jeopardy. And, you know, I talked to her on the phone and she was so like, wow. Like, you know, and it used to, it used to tear me apart when things weren't working out and I was spending her money on the studio sessions and we would have Sunday dinner every Sunday and I would have to go and sit there and she'd be like, well, what's going on with the music? You know, you need to. Why don't you just apply to community college? Like, you could have been halfway with a degree by now. It's been two years. It's been, you know, all this time. And it broke my heart every Sunday. And I did give up, you know, at one point, I did give up. So at one point I was over it. I was over music. It wasn't going anywhere.
- [85:32]
Jay Shetty
When was that?
- [85:33]
Big Sean
That was after I met Kanye.
- [85:35]
Jay Shetty
Yes, you rap and then he didn't get in touch with you for two years after.
- [85:38]
Big Sean
Yeah, and it was like a blank, you know, And I turned down my scholarships. I had to college. I graduated school with like a 3.7 GPA. I was like, you know, I had like a lot of academic scholarships, all these things, and I turned it down. And then I was, it was non responsive. But in hindsight, I look back, he was blowing up in his own right. He was busy. You know, it's not the same. You know, you only see things from your perspective, especially when you're younger. And yeah, I just was like, I felt like I tried and gave it all I had and I gave up. And my mom, you know, who is a teacher as well, she was the only one who was like, yo, what are you doing, man? Come on, you know, you, you know, you're. You're registering for. Come on, you got it. Like, just keep going. You got it. This is, this is what you're meant to do. This what you believe in, do it. And literally months after that, that's when things started picking up. So it's like you can keep digging and digging and digging. And before I struck the gold. I gave up. And that's what I mean. I had those guardian angels around me to keep it going.
- [86:40]
Jay Shetty
One thing you spoke about that, you know, I'm really sorry you had to go through it because I had so many friends who've actually gone through it recently, which is why I'm asking, but you suffered a miscarriage. Would you know and like that I was talking to so many of my friends trying to have kids right now.
- [86:54]
Big Sean
Yeah, it's super common. Yeah.
- [86:56]
Jay Shetty
But it's like that doesn't make it any better.
- [86:58]
Big Sean
Right. Right. No, it doesn't.
- [86:59]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. So many of my friends have had it this year, literally in the last 12 months.
- [87:04]
Big Sean
Sorry.
- [87:05]
Jay Shetty
Yeah. And it's. And it's hard because they're going through a loss, their partner's going through the grief, but it's. And like you said, it's super common. But that doesn't make it any easier or any better when it happens to you.
- [87:16]
Big Sean
Right.
- [87:17]
Jay Shetty
What was something that really helped you through that experience that you think could help others? What was it that helped both of you? Because it's a two way thing. It's not just about you.
- [87:26]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [87:26]
Jay Shetty
A lot of our problems, we're just processing ourselves.
- [87:28]
Big Sean
Well, every situation is different. Right. So to someone who is experiencing miscarriages and I can only speak from a man's perspective, I can't speak for a woman who really, their perspective is the most traumatic. But I can say that first of all, you're worthy. I don't want you to think you're not worthy. I don't want you to. I don't want people to think that because they have a miscarriage that they're inadequate or that they're broken. I think that this life is complex and there are things we do and don't understand. And I think there's beauty in everything that's meant for you. And instead of trying to control exactly how you want your life to be, accept that it's going to be the life that is meant for you. And you may get blessed with a child later on. You may get blessed with a child that comes into your life a different way. You may get blessed with. You have to keep your. Sometimes we get so set on a goal, we don't keep the rest of the, of our, of our doors open of how the universe could bless us in that way to not only fill that void, but even make it even greater. So I just want to, you know, keep an open mind. But you, to anyone who does experience such an insufferable loss, like do, you know, go through it, like express yourself, deal with that grief, but don't let it consume you.
- [88:55]
Jay Shetty
Yeah.
- [88:55]
Big Sean
You know, sometimes you got to go through it just to get to it.
- [88:59]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, for sure. No, I appreciate that, man. I think it's going to help a lot of them. We've got two last questions for you, Sean, before we wrap. How do you personally find the light in really dark times? Like when you feel distracted from that spiritual light, what do you do to reconnect?
- [89:16]
Big Sean
Well, to find the light in really dark times, sometimes you have to realize that you are the light. But sometimes you got to embrace the darkness. You ever notice how when you're in the dark for a long time, you start to see better and things actually get lighter?
- [89:33]
Jay Shetty
For sure.
- [89:34]
Big Sean
I think that it's a natural human instinct to like go into a so good a mode of like fear based. And it's like, I need the light, I need the light. Where's the light? Instead of just accepting that you are, you are for certain you are you. Not only are you the light, that there are is a darkness to you too. That's beautiful. And that you have to accept all aspects of yourself. So, you know, once you do accept it, I think it is easier to find the light or be the light. I think, you know, once you really are comfortable in your environment, you will find and see the way to wherever it is you're trying to go.
- [90:19]
Jay Shetty
Absolutely. Great answer. Last question. I want to ask you. One of my favorite things you ask people to do in the book, which I want everyone to do when they get the book, is list five miracles.
- [90:31]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [90:31]
Jay Shetty
That they've experienced in their life. I love this idea because when I read this, I was just like, oh, my gosh. If you actually stop to think about the miracles that have happened in your life and to really take them in and to really like embrace them and let them pervade your entire being, you start believing in more miracles. You start living in the miracle. Because often it's so easy to live in the negativity and to live in the toxicity and to live in everything that's the opposite of a miracle. What, what gave you this idea? Where did it come from? And how do you live in the miracle every day?
- [91:08]
Big Sean
I mean, what I did came from like when you highlight when you really recognize the miracles and you're kind of supercharging them and you're. You always see more miracles. There are so many miracles every single day. The fact that the sun is at the exact right place and the moon is at the exact right place and the oxygen is at the exact right. The thing that the. The fact that we are orbiting is a miracle, bro. For real, if you think about it. Because one slight thing, everything is gone. You know what I'm saying? Everything is gone as fast. So that's one thing. But for me, when you list the miracles that you experience personally that impact you personally, I feel like it breathes more. So for me, man, being on a pursuit of happiness and being able to actually see my dreams come true to a level is a miracle for me. Having this is in order, by the way. Having a son is a, you know, that's a mirror. That's for real. A miracle. Because that's like creating something out of nothing. Being able to. Man, waking up is a miracle. Everyone don't get to wake up, man. Being able to set goals and. And pursue them, you know, not even necessarily check them all off, but pursue them. Being able to eat food and let it give me nutrition is a miracle, bro.
- [92:43]
Jay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- [92:44]
Big Sean
You know, so I'm not trying to just sit up here and like, be preaching positivity in that sense, but there are so many miracles that happen there. I remember one time I was down at the fireworks in Detroit and somebody was firing a gun and I saw it, and it looked like I saw it, and it went past me and it was a miracle. I didn't get hit by any bullets. It was a miracle that when I got into a car accident and total my car when I was 16, I was able to climb out of the window. I couldn't even open the doors, and nothing was wrong with me. I had a little bruise on the side of my pinky. That was it. It looked like somebody died in there. There are miracles that happen every day that you may not consider. Miracles that you have to recognize and you don't even have to question it. That just shows you, bro, like you here. We are in. We are in it.
- [93:34]
Jay Shetty
I love that, man. That was one of my favorite activities and practices, and I hope everyone has been listening and watching today. If you do one thing, it's do that.
- [93:42]
Big Sean
Yeah, for real.
- [93:43]
Jay Shetty
Spend time just mapping out your five miracles. The book is called Go Higher. Five Practices for Purpose.
- [93:50]
Big Sean
And thank you for writing. Yeah, and thank you for writing the Ford, of course. It was beautiful. Nah, just congrats to you, man. I'm really proud of you.
- [93:58]
Jay Shetty
Come on, man.
- [93:58]
Big Sean
I know. I was just at your house like a few days ago, three days ago, four days ago.
- [94:02]
Jay Shetty
We loved it.
- [94:03]
Big Sean
Eating some amazing Food. You really are an amazing person. Not just on camera like some people. You really are amazing on and off camera, man. Your heart is big. It's very inspiring. We have these in our fridge.
- [94:19]
Jay Shetty
You're the best.
- [94:19]
Big Sean
I have all your books on my shelf. I've read them and, you know, just. Thank you, man. Thank you for being an outlet. Thank you for being such a connection, especially between all of these amazing people and being able to open up and be vulnerable. What I can say is that to everyone watching, you're a product of your environment. And you are the. You are the chemist of your environment. You have the power to change it. In any given time or moment, you know, if you're unhappy with where you are, realize that you have the instant power to change that. It all starts with the mentality, first and foremost, and that is, like the key ingredient to making anything amazing, you know? So I hope you guys realize that we only have this moment. Anything you've done in the past, you have to let go of. Anything in the future can change. You know that you have an idea of how it should be and that. What else, you know, what are you going to do with the time you got left? It's up to you.
- [95:31]
Jay Shetty
I love that, man. Thank you for writing this book.
- [95:34]
Big Sean
Yeah.
- [95:34]
Jay Shetty
The book is called Go Higher. Everyone, go grab your copy, share it with your friends, your family, people in your life who are looking for really insightful, simple wisdom that can create shifts in your life. Practical advice, practical stories as well. Sean, I'm really glad you've done this with your platform, because I think that, you know, it's very rare these days for people to see what masculinity means. And I feel like with you, the strength and the vulnerability, which in one sense are the one and the same, but I also think they are different in that I think there is a need to be strong, set boundaries, be to stand up for yourself. These are all strength as well. And then at the same time, the softness, the courage, the bravery, the vulnerability, that is too. And so I love how you put those both together. It was an honor to write the foreword for this book.
- [96:26]
Big Sean
Thank you.
- [96:27]
Jay Shetty
A real honor, like, for you to ask me to do that was. I was very touched. You could have asked anyone. And I genuinely, genuinely hope that people are going to pick this book up, and I think people are going to hand it to their friends, their family, people in their life. If you want this year, 2025, to be a great year, you got to go higher.
- [96:46]
Big Sean
Yeah, that's right.
- [96:46]
Jay Shetty
And so I'M excited for you. I'm excited for this next chapter in your life.
- [96:51]
Big Sean
Thank you.
- [96:51]
Jay Shetty
And I'm excited for how this book, for many, many years to come will have an impact on people. Not just now, not just this year, but for many years to come. People will look back and say, I loved all the music he wrote, but I also loved that book he wrote.
- [97:05]
Big Sean
Ah, thank you, man. That means everything. And yeah, thanks for allowing me to communicate always. You know, communication, I always say the communication is the bridge to salvation that God is holding our hand to walk across. And just like any other bridge, you can't skip a step to get to the other side. So thanks for allowing me to communicate and thank you for communicating so well in your life. It's very inspiring. And yeah, I'll see you soon, man. I'll come back over for dinner. I can't wait.
- [97:31]
Jay Shetty
I can't wait. I appreciate it. Thank you.
- [97:33]
Big Sean
Yeah. That is part three.
- [97:35]
Jay Shetty
That is part three.
- [97:36]
Big Sean
Over three.
- [97:36]
Jay Shetty
Four coming soon.
- [97:37]
Big Sean
Yeah. Part four coming soon. Thank you.
- [97:39]
Jay Shetty
I love it. You're the best, man. Thank you, brother. Thanks for being such a dear friend. If this is the year that you're trying to get creative, you're trying to build more, I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your most creative self, how to use use unconventional methods that lead to success and the secret to genuinely loving what you do. If you're trying to find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you.
- [98:05]
Big Sean
Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value. Like as an artist, if you like it, that's all of the value. That's the success comes when you say, I like this enough for other people to see it.
- [98:18]
Jay Shetty
If you do one nice thing for yourself today, you'll feel pretty good. But imagine how you'd feel if you did 19,000 nice things for yourself. 19,000 makes a big difference. That's why Now Supplements performs 19,000 tests every month to ensure you get the highest quality supplements at the best price possible. Like their vegan non GMO magtine, a patented innovative form of magnesium. Now supplements 19,000 reasons to feel good spending less learn more@nowfoods.com Purpose this podcast.
- [98:58]
Big Sean
Is supported by BetterHelp, offering licensed therapists you can connect with via video phone or chat. Here's BetterHelp head of clinical operations, Hes Yu Jo discussing who can benefit from therapy. I think a lot of people think that you're supposed to be going to therapy once you're like having panic attacks every day. But before you get to that point, I think once you start even noticing that you feel a little bit off and you can't maintain this harmony that you once had in relationships, that could be a sign that maybe you want to go talk to somebody. There's always a benefit in talking to someone because we can all benefit from improved insight about ourselves and who we are and how we behave with other people. So if you're human, that's like a good indicator that you could benefit from talking to somebody. Find out if therapy is right for you. Visit betterhelp.com today. That's betterhelp.com Ah, and here we have.
- [99:57]
Jay Shetty
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- [100:05]
Big Sean
We got the table. Yep.
- [100:07]
Jay Shetty
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- [100:13]
Big Sean
Save the best for last.
- [100:15]
Jay Shetty
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