CAMILA MENDES: "Perfectionism Was Ruining My Life"

Summary

Podcast Summary: On Purpose with Jay Shetty — CAMILA MENDES: “Perfectionism Was Ruining My Life” (July 27, 2026)

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Overview

In this heartfelt and open episode, Jay Shetty sits down with actress and producer Camila Mendes to discuss perfectionism, burnout, personal growth, and the ongoing journey toward a healthier and more authentic life. Mendes shares the struggles behind her success, from her battles with perfectionism and an eating disorder to redefining her sense of self, spirituality, and relationships. The conversation weaves through family, career pressures, healing, and love — with Camila offering rare vulnerability about what it means to truly take care of yourself and embrace imperfection.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Building Home and Finding Stability

• Creating a Sanctuary: Camila discusses the joy of building a “grounded, nurturing home” with her fiancé, Rudy, and how their different aesthetic tastes merge as a metaphor for partnership.
  • “[Interior design] was a process of getting to know myself. I found my own style through that experience.” (04:50, Camila Mendes)
• Striving for Stability: Growing up, Camila moved 16 times, which made her deeply value stability, especially as she thinks about her future family.
  • “I envy people that grew up with marks on the walls of their heights throughout the years. I want to provide as much stability as possible.” (36:47, Camila Mendes)

2. Juggling Pressures, Boundaries, and Burnout

• The Challenge of Balance: Mendes admits she struggles to juggle the demands of a busy career with maintaining relationships and personal projects.
  • “For those four weeks [of press], I felt I was neglecting every other thing in my life… That’s the biggest challenge: finding time to maintain relationships, friendships, and other projects.” (05:41, Camila Mendes)
• Permission to Rest: On stepping back from ‘momentum’: “Taking the time to be a human is what allows me to do good work and be more connected to myself… Longevity is more important.” (10:20, Camila Mendes)
• Rock Bottom — The Cost of Perfectionism:
  • Mendes describes an inability to say no, turning even fun events into tasks for self-optimization, leading to emotional burnout after Riverdale and a breaking point at Coachella.
    • “I don’t know how to have fun. I just don’t know what joy feels like anymore.” (14:06, Camila Mendes)
  • Seeking help at the Hoffman Institute was a turning point, learning: “By choosing yourself, you show up more present and authentic for everything else.” (16:08, Camila Mendes)

3. Healing Childhood Wounds, Perfectionism, and Family Dynamics

• Learning to Parent Herself: A transformative Hoffman exercise revealed,
  • “My teacher said: ‘I hear this little girl in a woman’s body screaming, I want my mommy. Mommy ain’t coming, you’re your mommy now.’ And it was this realization: I am my own mother now. At a certain point, you have to take responsibility for your life.” (18:10, Camila Mendes)
• Living in the Grey: Embracing contradictions (a loving mother, but also wounds), Camila and Jay discuss maturity as the ability to “hold two truths at once.”
  • “I always want absolute truths… Sometimes there is no single truth. Two things can be true at once.” (23:29, Camila Mendes)

4. Culture, Identity, and Spiritual Evolution

• Embracing Brazilian Roots: Mendes reflects on navigating identity as a Brazilian-American in Hollywood, first suppressing, then embracing her heritage, which now informs her personal and romantic life.
  • “There was a switch where I realized—this is my superpower… Now, I feel more myself than ever.” (25:53, Camila Mendes)
• From Atheism to Spirituality: Growing up between atheism and Catholicism, finding spirituality through self-work at Hoffman, and now relating to “higher self” more than traditional religion:
  • “Believing in my spiritual self—that’s something I can get behind… Who is my highest self? That is my version of God.” (31:11, Camila Mendes)
  • “I wouldn’t say it’s religion, but it’s spirituality… and it’s just redefined now.” (32:03, Camila Mendes)

5. Perfectionism & Mental Health in the Hollywood Machine

• Perfectionism on Set: Mendes candidly discusses panic attacks and eating disorders stemming from the relentless Riverdale schedule and a lack of space to process emotions.
  • “There’s no time for human error. I had to numb myself just to show up and work… My perfectionism showed up most in my relationship with my body.” (41:59, Camila Mendes)
  • “I only have panic attacks if I’m not allowed to feel the emotion I’m feeling.” (45:47, Camila Mendes)
• Body Image Healing: Therapy (with a nutritionist) helped her overcome bulimia by ending food restriction:
  • “If you give yourself permission to eat things you want, you’ll find you don’t want them that badly. That’s what truly healed it for me.” (47:57, Camila Mendes)
• Advice to Others:
  • “See therapy for it. I needed help, professional help. Sometimes people around you send you right back into that loop.” (53:01, Camila Mendes)

6. Friendship, Openness, and Support

• Supportive Cast: Camila discusses openly sharing struggles with co-stars Lily and Madeline, crediting those friendships as essential.
  • “They’ve always been people I can lean on for those things.” (54:50, Camila Mendes)
• On Recovery:
  • “I can’t believe… I never thought it [bulimia] would ever go away. And it took a year. Now, I have such a healthy relationship to food.” (55:51, Camila Mendes)

7. Love, Relationships, and Growth

• Meeting Rudy: The joy of discovering a deep bond and shared cultural affinity, highlighting ease and effortlessness as foundations for lasting love.
  • “With Rudy, it just felt so effortless and easy and right. It just felt like home.” (61:00, Camila Mendes)
• Letting Love In:
  • “I’m my best self when I have a partner… He’s my best friend—I want to spend all my time with him.” (61:05, Camila Mendes)
  • “I choose this person… I want to experience life with you.” (62:00, Camila Mendes)
• Healing in Relationships:
  • “Part of the healing process is meeting someone new. I don’t think we fully heal until you start falling in love again.” (64:09, Camila Mendes)
  • “Relationships teach us so much about ourselves… They hold up a mirror.” (66:41, Camila Mendes)
• Couples’ Growth & Therapy: The shift when both partners commit to growth:
  • “When [Rudy] started doing therapy… you’re finally meeting me halfway. The maintenance and nurturing of the relationship is something we both participate in now.” (71:47, Camila Mendes)

8. Creativity, Career, and Self-care Tools

• Showing Up Authentically: Hoffman and spiritual work influenced her approach to her career, especially on Masters of the Universe.
  • “When you align with yourself, opportunities come your way… This movie is all about fighting darkness, finding the light. And I was already feeling like this more heroic version of myself.” (79:52, Camila Mendes)
  • “Now I have real tangible tools—like meditation in my trailer or two-minute resets—that keep me grounded.” (81:31, Camila Mendes)
• Pendulum Metaphor for Growth:
  • “Even at Hoffman, they say, it’s a pendulum… With time, you don’t swing so far. And I trust I’ll find my way back.” (82:48, Camila Mendes)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Self-care and Boundaries:
  • “Let me figure out what I want to do with my time this week. If I just say yes… before you know it, that’s my whole week gone… not nourishing to my soul.” (07:45, Camila Mendes)
• On Healing and Acceptance:
  • “[About childhood wounds] At a certain point you have to take responsibility for your life… Now I can be the mother to that little girl inside me.” (18:10, Camila Mendes)
• On Authenticity vs. Likeability:
  • “I can’t be palatable for everyone. Not everyone is going to like me, and that’s okay. I’d rather just be known than liked.” (86:06, Camila Mendes)
• On Relationship Advice:
  • “Mark Consuelos… said: ‘Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? Do I need to be the one to say it?’ That thought pattern is very helpful in relationships.” (83:56, Camila Mendes)
• On Perfection and Parenting:
  • “There is no way of doing it completely right or perfect. I’ve started to let go of that perfectionism—just do my best at every moment and whatever happens, happens.” (41:04, Camila Mendes)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:09] – Building a Home, Finding Shared Aesthetic in Relationships
• [05:41] – The Pressures of Career and the Struggle to Find Balance
• [10:20] – Learning to Take Rest and Prioritize Longevity
• [12:37] – Rock Bottom, Perfectionism, and Burnout
• [16:08] – The Hoffman Institute: Choosing Yourself
• [18:10] – Parenting the Inner Child, Accepting Responsibility
• [23:29] – Living in the Grey, Holding Multiple Truths
• [25:53] – Cultural Identity and Embracing Heritage
• [31:11] – Spiritual Growth, From Atheism to Inner Spirituality
• [41:59] – Perfectionism and Mental Health on Riverdale
• [53:01] – Therapy and Healing from Eating Disorders
• [61:00] – Love, Relationships, and Rediscovering Home
• [71:47] – Personal Growth Impacting Relationship Dynamics
• [79:52] – Spiritual Work Influencing Career and Performance
• [83:56] – Final Five: Relationship Advice (“Does it need to be said…?”)

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Conclusion

This episode offers a rare, unfiltered look at the inner world of a public figure who has navigated both huge success and private struggle. Camila Mendes’s candor about perfectionism, mental health, healing, love, and self-acceptance is resonant for anyone seeking to live more authentically and gently with themselves. Her journey underscores that transformation is nonlinear, imperfect, and deeply personal — and always worth it.

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Notable Final Five (Rapid-Fire Answers)

• Best advice: “Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? Do I need to be the one to say it?” (83:56)
• Worst advice: "Don't tell the truth about something. I'm such an honest person."
• Overthinks: “What people think of me… learning not everyone will like me, and that's okay.”
• Wedding planning: "Very slow, the house has taken over, but we have a location."
• One law for everyone: "Be honest. I would make lying illegal."

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For listeners and non-listeners alike, this conversation delivers practical wisdom, relatable stories, and a hopeful reminder: progress is possible, and choosing yourself is never selfish — it’s necessary.

Transcript

[Jay Shetty]

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[Camila Mendes]

I got it after Riverdale. It's a pearl. Oh, because Veronica, my character on Riverdale wore pearls all the time.

[Jay Shetty]

Awesome.

[Camila Mendes]

I got it when we wrapped.

[Jay Shetty]

Hey, it's Jay. I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute and I hope you're being a little patient with yourself because you deserve it and. Yeah, I'll talk to you soon. It's amazing to finally have you here. I've. I've been watching your interviews for years.

[Camila Mendes]

Likewise.

[Jay Shetty]

I've been obsessed over this whole press run that you've just done for Masters of the Universe. It's incredible to just watch you crush it. Like, if I can say that. Thank you. Me and my team were talking about this. We're like, whenever we see a clip of you doing anything, it's like, so fun, effortless.

[Camila Mendes]

Oh, my.

[Jay Shetty]

It feels like you're having a great time, and it just, like, oozes through the screen. And, of course, your fiance is such a sweet man. Rudy. Who we were just saying, I first started talking to, like, eight years ago, which is crazy. Yeah.

[Camila Mendes]

Instagram buddies.

[Jay Shetty]

Instagram buddies. He's so talented and incredible. So thank you for being here.

[Camila Mendes]

Thank you for having me.

[Jay Shetty]

I wanted to ask you. So at 31, you have your own production company, you're starring in this huge, huge movie, doing all these incredible things. What are you having the most fun with right now?

[Camila Mendes]

I think what I'm most excited about in life right now is, like, building my. My home and my future and my. My family. Like, I just want to, like, cultivate a sense of groundedness, have my sanctuary. Like, that's what, like, feels fun to me right now.

[Jay Shetty]

It's so beautiful being able to do that, isn't it?

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

I'm an interior design geek. Like, it's literally my favorite thing in the world, and so I'm obsessed with textures and colors and tones and. And I remember just getting so lost in it. And the way I like to design is I like to design rooms. Like, my mind.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And so it's like, how do I want to feel in this space, and how does my mind want to feel in this space? How do you think about the different spaces in your home?

[Camila Mendes]

When I got my first home, like, the first home I ever owned, I had, like, no idea what my home aesthetic would be or anything. And then I sort of, like, it was a process of getting to know myself, and I. I found my own style and taste through that experience. And I was so happy with where it landed. Cause I was like, wow, this is me. This is all just a reflection of me and my mind and my creativity. And then I, like, right when I finished, not too long after, like, I ended up moving out and moving in with Rudy. And then it was a matter of, like, finding our taste together. And at the time, I had moved into his house, and it was like, a weird process of being like, okay, I want to make some changes, but it's also your house. Rudy loves his interior to be, like, super clean, spotless, like, so Zen, but in a, like, you know, I think in a sterile way where it's just, like, there's, like, no personality. Like, it's like, because he's so booming with personality in. In his mind, it's like he needs his space to be super clean. And I was like, what about color? And texture and warmth. And it was like this, like, interesting combination of personalities trying to find the common ground. And then we recently bought a home, and it's like the perfect amalgamation of our tastes. And now it's like that experience of finding, like, what's our aesthetic together, like, how, you know, and he's grown. He's now telling me. He's like, I don't know. I feel like it needs more color. And I'm like, who are you?

[Jay Shetty]

You've rubbed off on him.

[Camila Mendes]

I really have.

[Jay Shetty]

It's been contagious. Yeah. And when you're juggling all these things, you got this going on. That's exciting. What's most challenging? What do you find different from how you expected this moment in your life to be?

[Camila Mendes]

The challenge is balancing it all, and I wish I had that figured out. But, you know, especially just coming off this press tour, there's really no room to think about anything else when you're doing a press tour. Like, it is literally just talking about Masters of the Universe every day, all day, for three weeks straight. Four weeks straight. For those four weeks, I felt like I was neglecting every other thing in my life. And that, to me, is the biggest challenge is finding time to still maintain relationships, friendships, other work projects that require things. For me, that has been something that I still struggle with.

[Jay Shetty]

It's fascinating. Right? Like, I feel like we all have these moments in our life where everything's all absorbing and all consuming, and you've still got to realize that you have a life as well as the life that you're living right now.

[Camila Mendes]

I have a mind where, like, I just love to be focused on one thing. Like, if. If I could have it that way, I would. To just eat, sleep, and breathe one project at a time. But you just can't do that in this industry. Like, you kind of have to have your hand in many things, especially. Cause it's so fickle. Like, at any moment, a project can fall apart. You could shoot a whole movie, and then it just does. It just dies, and it doesn't come out like you. Nothing is certain. So it's like you just always have to have your hand in something and be juggling a million things at once, knowing that at one point, one of them will take off, but that I struggle with that. Having to divide my attention between a lot of different things.

[Jay Shetty]

I would love to just do one thing at a time.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And one thing I do do that does help me is my team's often like, oh, what have you got? Coming up next? Week or what are you doing in three months time? And I'm like, I live in 24 hour cycles.

[Camila Mendes]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

I cannot live outside of what I'm doing in the next 24 hours.

[Camila Mendes]

I completely agree.

[Jay Shetty]

Because the next 24 hours, like, I'm here with you right now, and so I'm totally present with you.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And then I know what I can do for the next 24 hours, and I can't do anything beyond that because it will overwhelm me.

[Camila Mendes]

I think for people like us who do live very busy lives, it's so easy for your schedule to just fill up with so much stuff because there's always going to be a certain meeting or a certain thing that people want to put on your schedule on your calendar. I kind of, like took a week off last week after having been on the press tour. I was like, I just need a week off to, like, not have any calls, not have anything. I'm going to go to this wedding in Italy. I just want to, like, be a person for a week. And we'll get back to everything when I'm back. Even the idea of scheduling a call while I'm on this vacation. I was like, I don't even want to schedule anything for when I'm back. Like, let me get back, and then I will get back into all of this. It's so easy for the following week to just be full of things that I didn't necessarily ask for. And so I'm like, let me get back into myself and figure out what do I want to do with my time this week, what do I want to make time for? And then I'm going to work around that and schedule these meetings and these calls around the things that I want to do for myself. Because if I just say yes to this and yes to that call and that meeting and that zoom, it's like, before you know it, that's my whole week gone and doing things that you know are important, that are. That are still beneficial for me in terms of work, but they're not necessarily nourishing to my soul or making me feel like a stable, happy human being. So I'm like, let me schedule those things in and we'll work around that. Because if I don't have those things, then I'm screwed.

[Jay Shetty]

This episode is presented by State Farm. We spend so much energy becoming the best version of ourselves, building better habits, showing up more, fully embracing mindfulness. But sometimes the most purposeful thing you can do is just handle the thing you've been putting off. If Getting your insurance sorted has been living on that list. State Farm is there to help you choose the coverage that's right for you. Go [e-mail] or use the easily accessible app to get help from one of their over 19,000 local agents. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. How did you make that decision? Because as you said, there's so many things that temptations, there's so many obligations, there's a fear of. And I'm asking this as much for you as I'm asking for everyone who's listening and watching, where we all get to these moments in our careers or in our lives where it feels like you've got momentum, things are moving ahead, you're doing incredible things. How do you then go, no, it's okay to rest, and it's okay to allow myself this week where I deserve this, because I think so many of us feel we have to earn rest.

[Camila Mendes]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

But then we keep staying on that treadmill to get there.

[Camila Mendes]

When I booked Riverdale and I was just working for seven years straight, like, that was me on the treadmill. And because we shot for so long in Vancouver, then I'd only have two months in between each season to do other projects. So it was literally, I would never stop. It was nonstop. I was on the hamster wheel of life, and I sort of had to hit a rock bottom in order for me to realize my limit. Because, like, if you have that mentality of, like, I gotta feed off the momentum, like, you might not ever stop. And I think that's a very good problem to have. I've been very lucky to have worked. But, like, for me, longevity is more important. Like, it's like, I'm in it for the long haul. I wanna have a long, happy, healthy career, and I don't wanna burn myself out too early. I sort of trust in my talent and my abilities, not just as an actor, but as, like, a hard worker that, like, opportunities will be there. I just trust that they'll be there because I trust in myself enough to know that I'll make that happen. Like, I won't let myself down in that way. But having a break and taking the time to be a human is what allows me to do good work and just be more connected to myself, where I make better choices about what projects I'm doing or what I'm dedicating my time to.

[Jay Shetty]

There's that famous old story of the woodcutter. He's with his boss, and his boss says, go and cut some trees.

[Camila Mendes]

Okay?

[Jay Shetty]

So the Woodcutter goes out, and the first week, he cuts 20 trees, and his boss is happy. Then the woodcutter. The second week at work, he cuts 10 trees, and the boss is like, why are you only cutting 10 trees? And then the third week, the woodcutter cut zero trees, and the woodcutter goes, why? What's going on? Like, I was doing 20 the first week I did 10, and I'm doing zero. And his boss says to him, he says, it's because you didn't sharpen your saw. You didn't take time out to sharpen your saw. So your saw just got blunt.

[Camila Mendes]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

And so every time you went out there, no matter how hard you worked and how hard you pushed, you cut less trees.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Because you didn't have the sharp sword, the sharp mind, or the sharp energy for it. You mentioned that. What did rock bottom look like for you?

[Camila Mendes]

It was the inability to say no to anything. I have a lot of perfectionism patterns in my family on both sides. And so I hold myself to a very high standard in every aspect of my life. Like, not just work, but I want to be the best at everything all the time. And I would just, like, say yes to everything. And even going to a concert, the way that I would look at it was not as fun, but as, like, I need to maximize this experience in some way. You know, it's like, I'm gonna go have fun at this concert, but also, I need to make sure I know all the lyrics to all the songs so that I can, you know, sing along to everything. And I also want to make sure I wear a cute outfit so I can take cute pics and so I can post on Instagram. Cause I need to post on my Instagram and, like, increase my social media following and blah, blah, blah. Like, I would just think in those terms all the time. I went to Coachella with, like, all my friends, and it was supposed to be this, like, really fun experience. I remember as soon as I got in the car on my way home, I just started crying, and I was so depressed, and I was like, I don't know why, but nothing about that was fun for me. That was actually, like. It felt like work. It felt like I just wanted to make sure everyone is having a good time all the time. I didn't enjoy myself at all. I was just worrying about everyone else. And I got back home, you know, I was with Rudy, and I was crying to him, and he was just like, well, what's. Why are you feeling this way? And I was just Like, I just. I don't know how to have fun. Like, I just don't know. I don't know what joy feels like anymore. I'm just like, nonstop, and all I can think about is, great, I spent the whole weekend at Coachella, and now I'm back to work, and I have all these things to do this week, and I have all these meetings and all these calls and all these people who need something from me, and everyone annoys me, and I just, like, hate everyone. I realized, like, that for almost two years of my life at that point, I had always been repeating the phrase, things are just really crazy right now. Life is really hectic right now. And it was just like, it's not right now. It's just like, that's just life. That's just my life. That's just how I've been living my life. And I dreaded waking up in the morning, and I was like, something's got to change. Like, I cannot live this way anymore. And. And he had heard of Hoffman through a friend of his, Hoffman Institute. And he called her, and she spoke about her experience and was like, I really, like, it changed my life. I really recommend it. And I was like, but you don't understand. Like, I can't just set a week. A whole week of my life where I have no phone and I can't talk to anyone. And, like, I have all these people that depend on me and all these projects and all these things, and if I. If I step away, like, everyone's going to freak out. And she was like, I know some pretty big names that have gone to this thing. If those people can take a week out of their life to do this thing, I think you can, too. And I was like, all right, word.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, because it's no phone. It's no connection.

[Camila Mendes]

You're not allowed to read. You're not allowed to, you know, listen to music. And obviously, like, they can't necessarily monitor those things, but the whole point of it is to be completely present to the experience, because I don't think you'd be able to get what you need to get out of it if you were distracting yourself. Because even watching movies and reading and listening to music are forms of escape sometimes. Sometimes we rely on those things to take us out of what we're feeling. And the whole purpose of Hoffman is to sort of, like, really be present and feel everything.

[Jay Shetty]

When was this?

[Camila Mendes]

Two years ago. I was like, okay, I'll do it. I think I'll do it. But I sort of put it off and then, like, two days later, I got in a huge fight with my mom, where I, like, completely lost it at her. And the way that I. I was so reactive and so sensitive and so overwhelmed and burnout that I, like, lashed out at her, and I hated myself for it. I, like, had a complete breakdown, and I was like, I need to go to Hoffman. And I called my assistant. I was like, please get me in as soon as you can. And I was able to get in a few months later. Even the process of choosing to go, just, like, booking it already, I started to feel a change, because it's, like, an active choice of choosing yourself and. And your happiness and, like, just to be able to say to people, I'm gonna be away for a week for these dates, and you can't reach me, and that's it. And you watch people, like, accept it and respond to it and be like, okay, fair. And I'm like, oh, okay. That was easier than I thought. And then to go do that experience and come out of it and be like, oh, wait, nothing crazy happened. Everyone's fine. Life continued. The world didn't stop, and I'm actually better now, and I can, like, show up in my life in a way that's way more authentic and present.

[Jay Shetty]

What would you say is the biggest lesson you learned about yourself from Hoffman?

[Camila Mendes]

There was this one exercise that we did where you're not supposed to talk about it too much, so I have to be careful.

[Jay Shetty]

That's what I'm saying. What you learned about yourself.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But. But in order to tell the story, I have to kind of describe what it was, but I think it's fine. It was like some sort of exercise where you're reliving an experience that was triggering. And a very. They. They asked us to, like, pick something sort of light and easy, just to kind of get a feel for the exercise, and I ended up picking the thing that wasn't light or easy. It was the very fight that brought me to Hoffman, which was this fight with my mom. You're supposed to, like, revisit it and try to imagine a different way of reacting to the situation. And I was so stuck. Like, I was like, I can't imagine being any other way in that moment, because, you know, the fight that we were having was so triggering to me that I just had to yell and stand up for myself and make. Make a point. You know, for some reason, I couldn't get past that. React. Reactivity. Like, I'm like, no, that. That is the only way to react in that situation. And I like, got really stuck. So I, you know, my teacher pulled me aside and sort of worked with me one on one and I was like, why should I be the bigger person? I don't want to be the bigger person. Why should I have to be? Why, why do I always have to be the bigger person? And she's like, it's funny, when I hear you talk, I hear this girl, woman, like you're this little girl in a woman's body screaming, I want my mommy, I want my mommy. And my teacher's like, mommy ain't coming, you're your mommy now. And oh, that, like I just lost it. And it was this weird realization of, by the way, my mom is totally there for me. She's the most there for me person. It was a very specific dynamic that I was trying to work through, but hearing that was more for me to realize. Like, I am my own mother now. I'm a 29 year old woman and I need to take care of myself. Like, at a certain point you have to take responsibility for yourself and your life. Like, you can't just be mad at your parents for what they didn't give you. You know, like, you just gotta grow up and like, take care of yourself.

[Jay Shetty]

Absolutely.

[Camila Mendes]

And like, there's something really empowering about that. It doesn't need to be sad. It doesn't need to be like, oh, like my mommy and daddy didn't do this when I was younger. It's like, no, like, okay, fine, they didn't. But they also did all these other amazing, wonderful things and they did the best they could with the tools that they had. And now it's time for me to grow up and take care of myself. And like, I think that's beautiful because there is still a little girl inside of me. But now I can be the mother to that little girl. I can take her in my arms and be like, it's okay, I'm here, I got you. And that was something that I really needed to learn to like reframe things in my mind, to not sort of like pity myself or like, you know, constantly be in the state of like grieving what I didn't have. Yeah, My mother is the most loving person you could imagine. Like, I had a lot of love as a kid, but there was a period of my life where she moved to Brazil for a while and I was living with my dad at the time. My parents were divorced. And I remember going through it was my like, first heartbreak. And it was a humiliating heartbreak where like, he was my best friend turned boyfriend who ended up cheating on me with one of my closest friends. And I was, like, 15 years old, and I was devastated, and I. I was, like, so depressed, and I was living with my dad, who, like, bless him, but, like, you know, how much can a dad do for a teenage daughter in that time? I, like, needed my mom, and she wasn't there. And I remember being feeling very abandoned by her in that time. We've worked through this a lot, and I've talked about it a lot, but, like, no matter how much you talk about something, that doesn't mean that you've healed it. Like, it's like I needed to release the fury of this little girl inside of me, and only then could I really forgive and make space for, like, real, real forgiveness. And I feel like I've reached that now. I don't want, you know, this to frame my mom as somebody who wasn't, because I. My mom is, like, the most loving, the. The most, like, supportive person I know, but, you know, no one's perfect. And, like, that was something I think I needed to experience is, like, this feeling of empowerment to take care of myself.

[Jay Shetty]

I think what I'm hearing from you is it's okay to hold both of those things at the same time. Oh, my God. You know, you adore your mom. She loved you. Yeah. She was there for you. You had a loving childhood. That's. That's true.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And at the same time, there's this one specific experience that has left this mark on you that you had to address when you were doing the self work. And I think when we can hold both truths at the same time, you actually give yourself space to explore both of them and validate both of them. Whereas when we say, oh, it's either or, that's where I think we go wrong. Like, my parents either were amazing and loved me.

[Camila Mendes]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

And therefore, none of my feelings are valid or important, or my feelings are the only thing that's valid and important. They didn't get anything right. And, yeah, that's just not true. And I think maturity is actually the ability to live in the gray.

[Camila Mendes]

I feel that now more than ever is this idea of, like, living in the gray and, like, two things can be true at once. Because I struggle with not having absolute truths. Like, I always want to be like, what was. What is the narrative? What is the. The thing that's actually true? And it's like, sometimes there is no truth. It's just kind of. It's just a gray area. And, like, and you're right, two things can be true at once.

[Jay Shetty]

You also had that experience of growing up between two cultures, so I wonder whether that was part of it too.

[Camila Mendes]

When I was growing up, Brazilian culture was such a part of my life because both of my parents are Brazilian, so they. And they were speaking Portuguese with each other and raising us in very Brazilian ways. So, like, I know that that was part of my identity, but I think I had a resistance toward it when I was in high school. And I grew up in Miami, which is a very Latin place. Like, everyone there is Latino. Everyone at my school was Latino. But, like, for me, I denied it more out of fear of, like, you know, I wanted to be an actor, and I was afraid of that getting in the way of my success, because there weren't a lot of models of success for people that looked like me or had my background. Like, I wasn't this white girl next door with blonde hair and blue eyes. You know, I wanted to make myself as, like, ambiguous as possible and as palatable as possible. I guess I felt like I was sort of resisting that part of myself. And there was a switch at one point in my career where I realized, oh, actually, like, this is my superpower. This is what makes me unique. And then I started leaning into that and embracing it and felt more myself than I ever have. And now that's why, you know, meeting Rudy was such a beautiful experience because he's also Brazilian American. He's Brazilian, Italian American, but his Brazilian side is, I think, way stronger because his mom's Brazilian, and he grew up in a neighborhood that was very Brazilian. And so we both shared that sort of Brazilian American thing. And it's so. It's so rare. It's. Especially in Hollywood, like, I never meet other Brazilian Americans. And so that was something we really connected and bonded about, was having this, like, shared culture, this shared third culture. You know, it goes back to what

[Jay Shetty]

we were talking about a second ago, that it almost feels like you had to learn to accept all the different parts of yourself.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And, like, see all of them.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And so it's like, I am a bit of this, and I am a bit of this, and. And this is also who I am. And now I can see the full pict rather than when I'm having to choose. I. Like, I'm only this or I'm only that.

[Camila Mendes]

But it feels like when the older you get, you kind of, like, go back to your roots more and more. I don't know if you found this in life, but Like, I feel like sometimes we kind of go full circle. I've seen it happen with my friends too. Like people who grew up really religious and then they completely reject God and reject religion and rebel against it. And then they, like, go through some things and they kind of come back to it later in life and then they're like, religious again, but in a different way. I've seen that happen a lot with people. And for me, I feel like it's kind of been that way with my. With my culture, where it's like I grew up very Brazilian, and then I sort of not. I wouldn't say I ever rejected it, but I just didn't. I didn't lead with that. And then I sort of found it again. And in a way that made me feel more myself than ever. And then the values that I think that I carried, that were more American values, like more about individualism, those started to fade away. And then my, like, more communal, familial, cultural side started to take over and. And now I think those values are stronger in me than they were before.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, I think there is that cyclical nature to life. Yeah. And that's why what we learn in our childhood is so important.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Because you find your way back to

[Camila Mendes]

it after you do, and you, like, redefine it in a way. But redefine's a good word for me also. I didn't grow up with any religion in my house. My dad's side of the family is super atheist. My grandpa was like a radical atheist in the 60s in Brazil, you know, so like, that whole side of the family, they're just very, you know, all about logical thinking. They're very science based and just like religion just wasn't a thing. And then my mom's side of the family is like, very Catholic, and. And now they're. They practice a religion called spiritism. I think that's the translation. Spiritismo is how you say it in Portuguese, which has a lot to do with like, reincarnation. And it's just like a completely different. Two different sides of the religious scale. You know, Even though my mom's side of the family was somewhat religious, that wasn't a part of my upbringing. Like, I didn't go to church. My mom didn't really practice it at home. She believed in God. But, like, I think my dad's presence definitely was more dominant and it allowed for a lot of great conversations at the dinner table. Like, there was a lot of thought behind it. It's not like he was indoctrinating us to like not believe in God. But I feel like I, you know, when I was a teenager I was an atheist and I like was very proud to be an atheist and I didn't believe in any God. And I was like reading Richard Dawkins and like I was just very much an atheist. And I was well into my 20s and it wasn't until I sort of hit that rock bottom, you know, and I went to Hoffman that things started to change for me. And it was so funny cuz I rejected spirituality for so long. And then, you know, I've done years of therapy. I've been in therapy for years, almost a decade. And I kind of hit a plateau where I was like, I've talked about my problems and I've rationalized them and I can talk and talk and talk, but like I don't feel like I'm healing. I feel like I'm stuck in this cycle of like being very aware of what my problems are but not really being able to implement any change around them or like changing how I feel like all those like feelings are still there. I feel like I need something more. I need like a larger purpose. I need like I'm craving something more meaningful. And I didn't even know that it was spirituality at the time by the way. I just like knew that I needed something more. And yeah, I hit this plateau in therapy and I went to Hoffman and I found for the first time a sense of spirituality that I never had in my life. And it was really hard. Hoffman is not about that necessarily. It's more about finding an inner sense of spirituality, like being connected to your higher self. And that was like the, a form of spirituality I could get behind. Because everything else felt so hard to get into this late in life. Like it just felt so inaccessible and like too grand, you know. But like believing in my spiritual self, like that's something I can get behind, that's easy to me. I can see that, I can visualize that like who is my highest self. And like that is like my version of God in a way is like my best self and that's the person I should turn to for guidance. And that gave me a sense of spirituality that I never had in my life. And then it opened up the door to believing in something I wouldn't. I'm definitely not an atheist anymore, but I don't necessarily know what it is I believe in. But I'm like so open to the possibilities. I don't really care if it's real or true. It's Like, I just want to believe it. And I'm okay with that. Like, I'm okay with not knowing. I just want to, like, believe in something. People often think they have this misconception that atheists don't believe in anything or don't have any, like, moral high ground, I guess, or moral compass, and that's so not true. Like, I think I agree there's a way to. In the book the God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, it opens with this quote that's like, isn't it possible to believe that the garden is beautiful without believing that there are fairies at the bottom of it, too? And I really resonated with that because I'm like, the world is beautiful. There are so many beautiful things about life and things that we can find purpose in without having to believe in a higher power. I always had somewhat of a spirituality to me, but, you know, I. I rebelled against this idea of religion, and then I sort of found my way back to it. And I wouldn't say it's religion, but it's spirituality, and. And it's just redefined now, you know, and much to my dad's family's chagrin, I'm. I'm, like, now a spiritual person. And

[Jay Shetty]

this episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for Sponsored Jobs. Indeed. Sponsored Jobs helps find quality candidates when you need them most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you. Companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed according to Indeed Data Worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who. Check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit@ Indeed.com podcast. That's Indeed.com podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire. This is a job for Indeed Sponsored jobs. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp's 2026 State of Stigma report surveyed 2,000Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. Like, think about work. How many companies actually offer time off specifically for mental health? So, yes, seek help, but encourage the people in your life to get help, too. If you or anyone you know is worried about feeling judged, try BetterHelp. It's one of the largest online therapy platforms with a Vast network of fully licensed therapists who follow a strict code of conduct. And because everything's online, they make it easy to match with their therapists. Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] JSTOP3 that's better. H E L P.com JSTOP3 Evening. Buyer's remorse. Buy a new car. I'll be moving in. Let's get started.

[Camila Mendes]

Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Great price.

[Camila Mendes]

I even have seven days to love it or return it.

[Jay Shetty]

So there's no.

[Camila Mendes]

No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyers rejoice.

[Jay Shetty]

I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it.

[Camila Mendes]

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[Jay Shetty]

Sometimes it's almost good to rebel. Like it's almost healthy.

[Camila Mendes]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

That you go to the other end because now you have the experience of what that means and what it feels like to study it, to learn it. So that when you come back to wherever you are now, you can actually come back with more conviction and more clarity. I think what a lot of us do with any value, whether it's spirituality, whether it's religion, whether it's science, whatever it may be, any belief or value, the more you argue it against others and the more you try and prove it to others is usually a sign of your immaturity and your understanding of the thing. Whereas when you're kind of in flow with it.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

You are totally open to everyone having their own beliefs and values and insights. Because you recognize that.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

I get a bit of what they're saying and I get a bit of what I'm saying and neither's right or wrong or good or bad or the truth.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah. It's healthy to challenge those beliefs.

[Jay Shetty]

I think challenging your beliefs is such a scary idea for us.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Because we already feel like the world is moving so fast around us.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

That to kind of take a look underneath and See if the fairies are there or not.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Is. Is kind of scary.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

You know, it's kind of like, wow, like, I believe them. What if they're not there? And if I don't believe them and I look. What if they're there?

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And so either way, there's a shock.

[Camila Mendes]

There's just no certainty. Everything's got something possible at this point.

[Jay Shetty]

Anything is possible, and everything has some faith in it, I feel. Yeah, like you're having some faith in

[Camila Mendes]

anything and everything requires a level of faith.

[Jay Shetty]

Absolutely.

[Camila Mendes]

But people reject that word sometimes.

[Jay Shetty]

How is this affected by the fact that when you were growing up, you moved, like, 16 times. Did that have any impact or effect on what you're saying now?

[Camila Mendes]

I moved around so much, and it was very destabilizing. Um, I struggled with it a lot, but at the same time, it made me a very adaptable person, and it made me, like, good at social relationships and being able to assimilate into new environments. So it's given me, like, a skill set that I'm very grateful for. But, like, at the same time, I'm so adamant about not raising my kids that way. Like, I envy people that grew up with marks on the walls of their heights throughout the years. Like, I think that is so beautiful, like, to live in a home that. That's Rudy's home. Like, Rudy lived. Like, the house his parents live in today is the house he grew up in since birth. And. And it's like. And you feel it when you walk in. Like, it has so much history. And I love that feeling. And I don't know if I'm going to be able to give my kids that life because the nature of what I do, but I'm going to do my damn best. Like, I. I want to provide as much stability as possible because I think it is so important and raising kids. But I feel like I've gone through some things recently that have basically shown me that, like, you just can't predict anything. Like, you just don't know what's gonna happen in life. And, like, as much as you can, like, say to yourself, like, I'm gonna do this with my kids, and I'm gonna blah, blah, blah, and I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna do things differently. Like, life will throw at you, and then you're gonna have to deal with it, and it might force you to make choices that you never thought you would make. And, like, for example, my parents got divorced, and I've for so long been obsessed with this idea of, like, that never happening to me. Like, I'm like, I'm gonna make sure I do everything right and I'm the best partner, and I choose the best partner. So that will never happen. And that's not a healthy way of approaching relationships. I think, like, you need to sort of accept this and surrender to the possibility that anything can happen. Like, you really don't know. And in a way that's sort of like, liberated me.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Camila Mendes]

Where I, like, trust myself enough to say, you know what? That could happen. I could get divorced one day, and I'll be okay. I will be okay because my mom was okay and my dad was okay, and my kids will be fine because I'm fine. I'm okay. I turned out okay. And. And. And like, you know, I think I was so afraid of this idea that I might one day destabilize my family home or my family unit in a way that my parents did. And that caused a lot of pain in the family, of course, but, like, that was just our pain. That's our story. And other families have different pain. And, like, we all came out of that stronger in some way, learning something in some way. And the traumas that I have from that experience have shaped who I am and have given me certain skill sets that other people don't have. And that's like, you can kind of reframe everything as, like, a superpower if you want to.

[Jay Shetty]

It's fascinating. Right. You'll meet people who they. Their parents got divorced and they wish they stayed together.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And then there's other people whose parents stayed together but they wish they got divorced.

[Camila Mendes]

Exactly.

[Jay Shetty]

And then there's people who. Whose parents gave them all the love in the world and made life really easy. And the person goes, you've ruined my life because I didn't have any hardship.

[Camila Mendes]

Right.

[Jay Shetty]

And so I never got tough. And then you have the parents who only give their kids tough love. And the kid goes, oh, I built really good skills. And so you've just got all these versions, and you can't. You don't know what the psychology of your child is going to be and what their temperament is going to be.

[Camila Mendes]

No.

[Jay Shetty]

And how you love them is going to create a reaction. You could love them and they could still turn around in 10 years and be like, you didn't show me the hard way, or, you didn't love me enough.

[Camila Mendes]

That's what Hoffman showed me. Because you're there with 40 other people or 39 other people, and everyone's there from all walks of life. All ages, different life experiences. Some people are like, I was loved too much. Like, my parents loved me so much that, like, I don't know how to be independent. I don't know how to do anything for myself. Like, I was so smothered, I was so spoiled. I don't know how to do anything for myself. And then other people are like, my parents. Like, you know, my dad wasn't in the picture and my mom didn't show me love. And no matter what your childhood experience was, like, you're gonna. You're gonna be up in some way and, like, it's just the way it goes. Like, there is no way of doing it completely right or completely perfect. And, you know, in the theme of, like, perfectionism that I was talking about earlier, like, I've started to let go that perfectionism of, like, needing everything to be perfect in my relationship or in my family life. Like, I can surrender to this idea that, like, no, I'm just gonna do my best at every moment and whatever happens, happens.

[Jay Shetty]

How did that perfectionism show up on the set of Riverdale?

[Camila Mendes]

I, like, developed panic attacks through my experience on Riverdale.

[Jay Shetty]

Because you hadn't had them before?

[Camila Mendes]

No, I didn't have panic attacks before, and I don't have them anymore, really. And not because of anything other than just the nature of being on a show for that long and not having time to do anything outside of work. It's like when you shoot a movie, it's like two months and you go off and you're there shooting the movie, and then you're like, okay, that was that, and I'm done and I can go back to my life for a little bit. But when you're shooting a TV show for seven years and one that's like old fashioned network television where you shoot 10 months out of the year, like, it's not a job, it's like a lifestyle. And then the hours are super long. And it was a very ambitious show. It required a lot out of us. It, like, you know, the schedule is really tight and you have to, like, shoot a lot of scenes in a day. Like, there's no time for anything. It's like, you wake up, you get to work, you're like, all right, let's go. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. You're just, like, running around like a madman. There's no time for human error sometimes. And that would drive me crazy because let's say, you know, I'm dealing with a stressful situation that has nothing to do with work, like a personal situation. And then I have someone knocking on my door, being like, they're ready for you on set. And I'm, like, crying because of the situation that I'm dealing with. And now my makeup's ruined, and that's another 30 minutes in the makeup chair for them to fix me. And now everyone on set's waiting. And now. And now I feel the pressure that I'm the reason why we're behind. Oh, my God. It was like a pressure cooker environment constantly, because there is no time to deal with any of those things. So I had to get prescribed lorazepam so that I could, like, literally numb myself and be able to show up and work, because otherwise, if I let myself get into this panic and I start crying and hyperventilating, I don't know. I don't remember exactly how much it would cost a day to shoot Riverdale, but, like, we're talking, like, thousands and thousands of dollars that it required. If you had to reshoot a day or something, if you. If you missed a day, if you call in sick, like, you're costing production a lot of money. So there's this pressure that comes with that, and I just, like, couldn't handle it at a certain point. It was a lot. So my perfectionism came up a lot with that, where I, like, I just felt like I needed to be on all the time and at my best and looking my best. And, you know, I had an eating disorder when I was on Riverdale. I had it since high school, but that's when I really started to, like, come face to face with it. I felt a lack of control because, you know, I'm wearing a costume for a character that dresses differently than I would want to dress in my daily life. And she's wearing tight dresses and mini skirts and heels and. And, you know, showing my stomach, my little midriff or whatever. And if I felt bloated or if I didn't feel good about myself that day, like, I had to wear something that made me feel worse and made me feel super insecure. And that perfectionism pattern showed up a lot through my relationship with my body. And I would just, you know, sometimes have panic attacks about that, of feeling so disgusting and needing to be on camera and just not being able to accept the way that I looked.

[Jay Shetty]

I can imagine how heavy that is, because, like you said, you can't just call it in. You can't say, I'm not coming in today. You can't push it off. You can't fix it quickly. There's no solution apart from having to go through with it. Even when you're in a state where you don't want to.

[Camila Mendes]

I only have the panic attack if I'm not. If I feel for whatever reason that I'm not allowed to feel the emotion that I'm feeling freely. So, like, if I'm feeling like I want to cry and I know that I can't, that will cause my panic attack.

[Jay Shetty]

Because you don't have the space to actually experience and feel it.

[Camila Mendes]

Exactly. But like, if I did have the space, if I was told you have an hour, I'd be like, great, I'm going to cry for a bit, let it out, I'll be good to go. And an hour. But you don't have that.

[Jay Shetty]

And that's really healthy, by the way.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah, that's how I like to deal with things in my day to day life. I have no issue just like crying it out for a bit, like letting it out. Because sometimes that's all it is. Like you just need to release the energy. And I just didn't have the space to do that. So it's like creates this like pressure cooker in your body. And then like, I had to take something in order to get through the day.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Camila Mendes]

But I don't, like, I don't like to lean on that unless I absolutely have to because I would rather just feel it. I'm okay with feeling it.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. You don't want to numb it out?

[Camila Mendes]

I don't want to numb it out, no. But it became like what I had to do to get through.

[Jay Shetty]

How did you get to the other side of that?

[Camila Mendes]

The show ended.

[Jay Shetty]

Right. Literally. Wow.

[Camila Mendes]

But like, not every day was like that. Yeah, that was a specific kind of situation. But like, I did love my experience on the show. Don't get me wrong. I look back on that time very fondly. It was just like being young and not having control over. Over your schedule in your life. That was really hard.

[Jay Shetty]

As I'm listening to you, I'm thinking, you know, you've been the face of like body positivity as well, and then you're dealing with this. And on top of that, I feel like we're living at a time where the scrutiny on women's bodies just continues online to be terrible.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

It almost doesn't get better. And it's almost like you got to hold all these things at the same time, which is like, I want to be confident in my body at the same time. I have to be at work even when I don't feel confident in my body. And on top of that, there's constant commentary on women's bodies in general.

[Camila Mendes]

I never actually experienced criticism about my body from anybody but myself. Like, I didn't see anything online that was, like, triggering to me. It was always just my own internal standards for myself.

[Jay Shetty]

Right.

[Camila Mendes]

And also my body was changing. Like, I look at pictures of myself then, and I do look different. My body was different. This happens a lot as a woman in your early 20s. Like, your body changes. And I was like, I didn't know how to deal with it. It was very overwhelming. That's what led me to therapy in the first place, was I started seeing a therapist specialized in eating disorders, and she paired me with a nutritionist, and they worked sort of as a team. I would see them separately, but they worked together and helped me sort of reestablish a healthy relationship to food by reintroducing certain things that I would avoid, like carbs. I was, like, really afraid of eating bread, and my nutritionist, like, slowly reintroduced bread in my life and was like, okay, we're going to have you have, like, a piece of toast in the morning. And I was like, oh, my God, that's going to make me gain weight, you know? Like, I was so afraid of a piece of toast. And those two working together, one with the psychological aspect and the other with the nutritional aspect, was incredible. And I literally was cured in, like, a year. The nutritional aspect was so important because the reason I was binging and then purging is because I. I would avoid carbs so much that there'd be a certain part in the day where I'd walk by crafty, and I just stuff my face with so many carbs. And then I'd feel disgusting, and then I'd purge. And the only reason I was doing that is because I was depriving myself. So she was like, if you give yourself that permission to eat the things that you want, you'll find that you don't want them that badly. And I started doing it, and it like, she was completely right. If I wanted something, I would just let myself eat it and trust that I'm not gonna go overboard. Like, I just trusted myself that I wouldn't go overboard, and I could trust myself.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Camila Mendes]

Then it wasn't as tempting because it wasn't this forbidden thing.

[Jay Shetty]

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[Camila Mendes]

They're the same. Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Whereas what you're saying, which is this more balanced approach, going back to what we've been talking about since the beginning, is like that ability to say, well, I can have a little bit and that's okay, and that's not going to change my life. But if I avoid it, then that. That's what I'm like with. I have a massive sweet tooth.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And it's like, I have the worst sweet tooth of all time. And I can get through the whole day. Like, from morning till evening, I'm fine. And then at midnight.

[Camila Mendes]

Oh, no. That's when it hits.

[Jay Shetty]

Like, it will hit if I'm up and I'm traveling or whatever. And I can order like, 1200 calories, 1500 calories of just, like, sugar.

[Camila Mendes]

I can't just devour dinner without, like, I need to finish dinner with a sweet treat always.

[Jay Shetty]

Even if it's a little sent to me. Was you eating dessert?

[Camila Mendes]

The pistachio ice cream. It's so good. I have to. I have to. Like, even when I was training for Masters of the Universe, I was like, when we were in the cutting phase, I was like, please just don't take my dark chocolate. Like, cut my rice in half. Don't take my dark chocolate at the end of the night. I need that. I need my little My little treat.

[Jay Shetty]

But it shows you can do it that way. Yeah, like, that's the point.

[Camila Mendes]

It works for me. I don't know if it works for everyone. You know, I think maybe some people are. Have more addictive personalities and need to be a little bit more, like, strict with things. I don't know. Like, I've never had an addictive personality, to be honest, with anything. So I've. I've always been good at, like, you know, being able to draw the line when it comes to things.

[Jay Shetty]

I'm thinking about all the young women who probably look up to you, listen to you, want to be like you in some way. What would you say to them if they're currently struggling with an eating disorder, they're struggling with body image, See therapy for it.

[Camila Mendes]

I know that's a very straightforward answer, but, like, that's. That's personally how I was able to get through it is I couldn't do it alone. I needed help. I needed professional help. Because sometimes the people around you sort of send you right back into that loop. People will say things. People who don't know any better will say things to you that will actually encourage those negative ways of thinking. They'll comment on your body or say, you know, when you do look thin. God. Like, I remember when I was my most depressed, I lost a lot of weight because I wasn't eating. And I wasn't eating because I was, like, trying to lose weight. I was just not eating. Cause I had no appetite. Like, I genuinely had no appetite. And the amount of people that were like, you look incredible. You look amazing. What are you doing, Pilates? And I'm like, no. I'm, like, miserable. I'm not working out. I'm not eating well. I'm not eating at all. I'm not taking care of myself. And that was when I would get the most compliments. Those are, like, the kinds of comments that send you back into a negative way of thinking where you think, okay, this is when I look my best. So what did I look like before? What did you think of me before? Was I. And then when people stop saying that to you, you're like, oh, I'm fat. I think it's important to get professional help because they actually know how to talk to you in a way that gets through. Because sometimes people around you are just encouraging the same patterns of thinking.

[Jay Shetty]

Gosh. And that. That is like a vicious cycle that just keeps going round and round and round. Because, yeah, you feel good, but you're doing something bad to yourself.

[Camila Mendes]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

And Then you feel bad when whatever it may be.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And it just keeps going round and round. I wonder, you're so close with all your Riverdale classmates now, I believe, as well. Did you have space to have these conversations when you were on set or not really?

[Camila Mendes]

Definitely.

[Jay Shetty]

Oh, you did? Oh, wow.

[Camila Mendes]

I think especially with Lily, because she was dealing with a similar thing, and she's been very open about that too.

[Jay Shetty]

She's been on the show, too? Yeah.

[Camila Mendes]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Camila Mendes]

But I think she really started to experience her issues at a time where I had just kind of gotten out of it. We had different issues. I think hers was more, if I'm correct, body dysmorphia and maybe, like, a weird relationship to food or something. But mine was more bulimia, so it was just like. We had different issues. But, yeah, we talked about it a lot. And. And with Madeline, too, they've. They've always been people that I can lean on for those things.

[Jay Shetty]

That's amazing.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

I mean, that's pretty rare.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

I feel like to actually have a crew that everyone. Not that people aren't friends, but that you can actually be open about what's actually going on behind the scenes.

[Camila Mendes]

But I've also found that, like, I'm just really careful to talk about those things with other people because sometimes you don't want to open up the door for commentary that will trigger you and send you into that headspace. You know what I mean?

[Jay Shetty]

Yes. Yes, yes.

[Camila Mendes]

I'm so fortunate to say that I've healed from it. So much so that it's such a distant memory to me now.

[Jay Shetty]

Love hearing that.

[Camila Mendes]

And I can't believe that, like, at the time, I never thought that it would ever go away, that the insecurity would ever go away, that the bulimia would ever go away. I genuinely didn't think that was possible, that a therapist could heal that for me. And it took a year. I don't know that that's the case for everybody, but that's what it took for me. And then now I'm like, so. So removed from it. And I have such a healthy relationship to food. And, like, yeah, sometimes I get insecure about my body, but it's not this, like, all encompassing feeling. It's like, okay, like, all right, I gotta, like, not eat so much chocolate or what? You know, it's like such a. It's so relaxed, you know, it's such a. I have such a healthier relationship to it where I just trust myself. Like, I liked my body A week ago, more than I like it now. But it's fine. Yeah, I'll get there.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, it's like a life edit rather than like a complete.

[Camila Mendes]

Exactly.

[Jay Shetty]

Breakdown of.

[Camila Mendes]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

Yourself.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

It's like, I need to edit that and add a bit of that, minus a bit of that.

[Camila Mendes]

And it's like, okay, I miss my abs. We'll get them. We'll get them back.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. We don't need to. We don't need to internalize all of this and make it about our self worth and self esteem.

[Camila Mendes]

It does not define you the way

[Jay Shetty]

you're talking about it. It sounds like it did have an impact on self worth, self esteem.

[Camila Mendes]

Oh, no, I couldn't. I couldn't function. I remember my therapist during that time was like, what if I told you? Because she wanted to see if. Was it a fear of gaining weight or was it of an insecurity with how I look currently? And she's like, what if I told you that this is what you're going to look like for the rest of your life? And I just started crying. Oh, I just started crying. I was like, no. Like. So it was like, oh, okay.

[Jay Shetty]

That.

[Camila Mendes]

That helped me realize I cannot accept the way that I look right now. Like, I'm so deeply unhappy with what I look like right now. I was afraid of looking the way I currently looked for the rest of my life.

[Jay Shetty]

How did this coincide with meeting Rudy?

[Camila Mendes]

I met Rudy 2022. His team reached out to me. I had an offer for the project he was directing. It was his. His directorial debut called Musica. And it was a rom com that a lot to do with Brazilian American culture. And I'm kind of like one of the only people in this industry that could play that part. I was like, I don't know, like, this guy from vine is directing a rom com. And once I was like, I don't know, like, we'll see. And I met with him and I was like, oh, wow, he's brilliant. I have to do it. Like, it was like a complete 180. Like, I was. I was like, pretty sure I was gonna pass. Then I met. I took the meeting anyway. Cause I was like, he's Brazilian. I need to meet another Brazilian in the industry. And then I was like, within 10 minutes, like, so in awe of just his whole personality and vibe. And like, I could tell he was a brilliant mind. And then we sort of like had a love story over zoom. Like, we got to know each other over zoom. Because I came on as an EP and I was helping Rewrite a lot of the script and like, especially my scenes. And we were taking inspiration out of my personal life and his is entirely out of his personal life because it's, you know, autobiographical. And so we were just like creating these characters together and writing these scenes together and sharing intimate stories about our lives in order to service these characters. And through that experience we, like, I mean, I was falling in love with him and now I know that he was too, but I like, was like, oh my God, like I don't even know him yet, I haven't even met him in person. But like, I feel this chemistry over zoom. And I was like kicking my feet underneath the table and like getting all giddy when I was talking to my friends about him. But I was like, I have no idea. You know, if this chemistry is just like one sided. Yeah. And if it's just over zoom or like, what's it gonna feel like when I see him in person? Like, what if he smells different? You know, Like, I don't know, it's

[Jay Shetty]

like you start making all the excuses.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah, exactly. And the moment we met, it's so beautiful. We have this like 2 minute long footage of the moment we met because we like shook hands at the, the screen test and then went right over in front of the camera and they just started recording and he and I would just start chatting. And so we have this two minute long footage of us basically talking in person for the first time. And there's no audio, you can't hear it, but you can just see us like, like being all like cute and giddy and like this sort of like you could just feel this energy between us and this chemistry. And I'm so happy we have that because it's like this like such a defining moment of us meeting. And then. Yeah, it kind of escalated really quickly. I think, like within a week of filming, he and I were already seeing each other. I felt like I had known him my whole life and I don't know if some of that was because of the like shared culture thing. He felt so familiar to me. Like, I just, it felt like past life stuff and I didn't even believe in that at the time. It was just like, I just feel so at home with you. That's the word I would. It just felt like home. It felt right and easy. It felt really easy.

[Jay Shetty]

How did you view love before you met Rudy and then after?

[Camila Mendes]

I, like, am hesitant to say this, but like, I really feel like I'm my best self when I'm in love and when I have a partner. I have no shame in saying that. I think humans need each other. And, like, finding a life partner has always been so important to me. Like, someone who's, like, by your side through thick and thin. And I mean, like, partner, you know, like, more so than anything else, like, who is my best friend in this life. And that was really what I was looking for. And I feel like I was always so ahead of my time in that way. Not actually ahead of my time, but just, like, I was looking for that from a very young age, like a life partner. I feel like I really didn't find that until Rudy, like, someone who I could really envision a whole life with because, like, more than anything, he's my best friend. He's literally my best friend. And, like, I just want to spend time with him always. Like, I. I just enjoy being around him. And we've been through dark times. Like, we've. We've been through a lot of. And, like, it never changes. It never waver. Like, I never hesitate to be with him. I'm like, I want to be with this person. I choose this person. Until life gives me a reason not to, I'm going to continue to choose this person. And I feel that he has the same view on love where it's like, we're in it for the long haul, and you're my life partner. And, like, life's going to get crazy, but I want to experience it with you. I was in a relationship before that was so. We were just so incompatible. And I felt like I was trying so hard for it to be right. Like, way too hard. And it was this talk I had with my dad where he was just like, I know you have this thing because me and your mom got divorced. You need to get right what we got wrong. And he's like. And you're, like, fighting so hard to, like, make a relationship work, because relationships are hard. And, like, I'm not gonna give up like my parents did. And he's like, yeah, relationships are hard, but they're not that hard. Like, it shouldn't be that hard. It should feel somewhat easy. Like. Like, being with them should feel sort of effortless and easy. And this relationship didn't feel easy. It felt like constant work where you're just like, oh, you're just incompatible. You're just two people that shouldn't be together. And I feel that way about my mom and dad. I don't think they're compatible, and I don't think they should have stayed together. But for some reason, at the time, I was like, I should really. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna give up. I have to work really hard to make the relationship work. And, yeah, I think meeting Rudy, it just felt so effortless and easy and. Right. It just felt like home.

[Jay Shetty]

What part of yourself you think you had to heal to let that kind of love in?

[Camila Mendes]

That was a hard experience. Healing from my last relationship. The hard thing about our industry is, like, when your ex moves on, you have to, like, see it in your face all the time. And to be honest, I don't even think that's that. That's that unique to our industry. I think because of social media, it's like, everyone has to sort of deal with that, but it's just magnified because, like, the whole world is seeing it happen too. And I had to see a lot of photos and content of my ex with another woman. And it was like, there's something about it that feels, like, humiliating. Like you're just, like, embarrassed a little bit. And I don't know why. Because there's nothing embarrassing about it. It's like, yeah, this is just what happens. But it's just so hard to metabolize that and that part of it. I feel like I needed to heal. I had things I needed to heal from myself and flaws in my behavior that I needed to look at. But I do believe that part of the healing process is meeting someone new. I don't think we fully heal, like, for real heal until you start falling in love again.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Loving differently.

[Camila Mendes]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Experiencing love in a different container in

[Camila Mendes]

a new way, and it brings up patterns. I think, like, when you start loving again, it shows you what the wounds are from before that can only be healed by loving again, you know, because then you're like, okay, now I'm having trust issues. And now I'm having. It's like all those things come up and they wouldn't have if you were just on your own, single. It's when you start loving again that you have to confront those. Those wounds. And so part of the healing process from your last relationship is welcoming in a new person and learning how to trust again.

[Jay Shetty]

Most people kind of try and package everything nicely where it's like, you got to break up. Get over it.

[Camila Mendes]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

And then once you're over it, then you can. And it's like, whoa, you can't. There's going to be parts of that journey that are going to overlap a little. Overlap. Overlap a little bit.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And not because you're trying to move on because of a new person.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah. It's not like you're trying to fill a void.

[Jay Shetty]

What I'm hearing you say is that there are certain things that you can only learn in connection.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Because they don't come out when you're sitting by yourself. There are certain things you can only learn by yourself. There are certain things you can only learn in connection.

[Camila Mendes]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

You've got to do them in the right place, in the right rooms.

[Camila Mendes]

Because relationships teach us so much about ourselves.

[Jay Shetty]

For sure.

[Camila Mendes]

Like, they hold up a mirror to you and you're like, oh, I have some issues I need to work on.

[Jay Shetty]

I love the point you're making that that is exactly what relationships are, for sure.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Gives you an opportunity to see yourself much more deeply, intimately. But then know that that person's going to hold your hand through that.

[Camila Mendes]

I feel like we've both seen the ugliest sides of each other and I still love him. I think that's real love. And I think every time you're challenged in your relationship, it just forces you because you have a choice. Like, it's like when you reach certain obstacles in the relationship, you can end it or you can work through it. And the choice to work through it has always been the better choice. And I feel like it's only made us stronger and stronger and build more and more intimacy where I'm like, I, like, know you now, I know you and you know me and I'll continue to get to know you. And like, that process never ends. But like, those experiences, I think are what make a couple really strong. You know, you say you've been married for 13 years. I'm sure there have been bumps in the road along in those 13 years, you know, And I feel like I love meeting couples who are so transparent and real about what it takes to like, be in a long lasting relationship. It's like an art form. It requires work and maintenance and it's never done. The work is never done because you continue to grow as people and you always have to continue to, like, nurture the relationship and like, redirect or, you know, like find new ways of communicating. Because life changes and we go through different things. And I feel like my favorite couples are the ones that, you know, they've been married for decades and they're like, oh, we've been through it all and like, you know, we almost broke up at one point and then we did the. And it's like they're so open and transparent about how imperfect it can be. All of our friends Joke how annoying we are because we're very publicly affectionate. Like, he and I are always like, in each other's faces and kissing each other and to the point where I think it like, pisses other people off. Especially like, people that aren't like that. Like, someone's girlfriend will be like, why aren't you hugging me like that all the time? Because that was my parents love language. My parents are very affectionate. His mom is very effective. Like, they're just. We're very publicly affectionate people. And that's not something that Brazilians really shy away from.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Camila Mendes]

And also culturally, I think it's more common in, in Brazilian culture to like, flaunt your relationship. Like, it's not this thing that you're like, we're going to be very private and concealed about everything. Like, it's like, this is my man. I love him. You know, like, that's, that's the attitude towards love and relationships. And he and I are very much like that. And that's a challenge in this industry because that is who I am as a person, naturally. But I have to fight it a little bit because I can't just like, pour everything out and share. I don't want to completely open up to the world and welcome them in to this relationship. But at the same time, I'm like such a transparent person and I want to be able to share everything because I think that that's how we connect as people. And like, I want to share my experiences. But at the same time, you want to, like, yeah, protect the relationship. And yeah, I feel like we're constantly trying to find that balance of like, you know, I want to shout that I love you from the rooftops, but also don't want to give off this idea that we're like a perfect couple, you know, just because all you're seeing is the highlights. Like, there are going to be challenges in relationships no matter who you're with. They're just different challenges. And it's a matter of like, deciding what challenges you're comfortable taking on. I've been able to look at Rudy and be like, I. I can handle the challenge of this relationship. I'm okay with this. I'd prefer this over that challenge.

[Jay Shetty]

Your public life should be good, but your private life should be better.

[Camila Mendes]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

And I always say to people, I feel like my public life looks great, but I always want my private life to be better. And that's something you get to keep. And so you don't have to dim your public life. You just have to make your private life better. And that gives it a great balance. Because if you're trying to dim your public life or dim your outer light, that starts to feel uncomfortable. As you were saying with your Brazilian.

[Camila Mendes]

It doesn't feel natural.

[Jay Shetty]

It doesn't feel natural and organic. If you're sacrificing your private life for your public life, that doesn't feel great either. One of the biggest lessons I've learned in relationships is don't let it be one sided for too long. Where one person's doing everything.

[Camila Mendes]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Too long.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

If you're in a long term relationship and one person's doing too much for too long, that's hard.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And so the ones that get through the tough times and the hard times are where it's two sided, where both people are turning up, showing up, making the effort.

[Camila Mendes]

I felt that way at one point, to be honest. That kind of circles back to the Hoffman thing of it all, where I kind of hit my rock bottom. I went to Hoffman. I came back with a new lease on life, a lot of clarity, new sense of purpose. And like a lot of my habits changed, my outlook on the world changed. Like I wasn't wanting to go out as much or drink as much or, you know, I just had a different, different priorities, different boundaries. It. It just sort of like highlighted this difference at that point. Cause Rudy hadn't done any therapy at that point. And I had done, you know, almost a decade of therapy and I had just done Hoffman. And then it was like, okay, I've done all this work around my issues and it still feels like you're not quite ready to dive into yours. And it wasn't until he started doing therapy, after I was recommending it for a long time, he finally started. So many of our problems started to get resolved through that because it was like, you're finally meeting me halfway. And you know, we had done couples therapy and stuff, but I feel like you kind of need to do individual therapy as well, to really confront your own issues that have nothing to do with the relationship but have to do with like your past. So when he started doing that, I noticed such a difference in our dynamics. And then when he was finally ready, he then went and did Hoffman. Very recently actually, he like just got back not that long ago. And now it's like amazing because we speak the same language. You never know. Not everyone's gonna come out of that experience having the same experience. I didn't know if it was gonna have the same effect on him that it did on me, but it did. And. And now it's like, the way he's showing up is the way that's, like, I've always wanted. And it's like, just the, like, presence and communication and authenticity. And like, now we, like, we're that lame couple that, like, meditates together and, like, shares our. You know, it's like we're. We're able to speak this language that has now become our language. It's like our shared language. And we already have that with Portuguese, which kind of feels like our own little intimate thing. And then now we have this other, like, spiritual language that we share that really brings us together in a beautiful way. And, like, I've been told that it's important for couples to have, like, something that you share as a couple that's yours, that you do together. And I'm like, oh, this is that thing for us now. Like, we have that now. I'm, like, so happy. Like, so, so happy that he had the experience that he did, because I just. It's just made us closer. And, like, he was somebody who didn't believe in therapy two years ago, you know, and now he's, like, obsessed with his therapist and wants to meditate. And now he's like, let's go do the couples thing at Hoffman. And, like, now we're gonna go do that. It's like. And now, like, the maintenance and nurturing of this relationship is, like, something we both participate in. And, yeah, I think that's really important.

[Jay Shetty]

It's beautiful to hear. Congratulations.

[Camila Mendes]

Thank you.

[Jay Shetty]

So happy. Honestly, genuinely, I'm so. I love. I love seeing people in love. And I'm so happy for you guys. And it was. It was so awesome because I remember the night you guys got engaged. You guys came to Glenn's party afterwards. And so I was on the way out, and I saw you guys coming in, and I remember, oh, my God. It was just, like, this awesome. Talking about Glen. Powerful. He's awesome with dear friend.

[Camila Mendes]

Basically, he disguised it as my best friend's birthday dinner.

[Jay Shetty]

Genius.

[Camila Mendes]

So they were working together. They were in cahoots. Her birthday was a Saturday, and she was planning a dinner Friday night. So naturally, I was like, yeah, that makes sense. Her birthday's Saturday, and she's gonna go do something with her boyfriend on Saturday and Fridays for the friends. She's like, come get ready at my house. And, like, all the girls were getting ready at her house and, like, getting ready for this night out that we thought was at her birthday dinner. And she told me that it was like a. A super secret, like, speakeasy that hasn't been open to the public yet. She didn't want me looking up anything. She was like, we're gonna go to this dinner, and then afterwards, let's all go to Glen Powell's birthday party and kind of make that part of my celebration. And I was like, great. And the theme for his birthday party was tracksuits and tequila or something.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Camila Mendes]

I was like, great, I'll wear my tracksuit to dinner. And she's like. She's like, maybe don't wear a tracksuit to dinner. And I was like, oh, no, it's fine. Like, mine's, like, really chic and cute. Like, it's not really a tracksuit. And she's like, no, but, like, I want the theme to be, like, sex in the City. Like, girls, like women in their 30s, like, hot but mature. And I was like, okay. So I took the sex in the city theme, like, really seriously. And I was like, I brought, like, all these options to her house. And I put on this, like, tight corset that was, like, pushing my boobs up. And I was, like, looking a little, like. And she was like, do you want to, like, wear a different top, maybe? Like, I was like, what the fudge? Why are you being so controlling for your birthday? Little birthday Zillow over here and then

[Jay Shetty]

treating it like a wedding or something. Yeah.

[Camila Mendes]

And then I was like, well, what if I put this, like, jacket over it? And she's like, great. Yeah. Like, she was like, it's just like a members only club. Like, really chic. Like, just so you walk in and then when you sit down, you can take it off. I was like, okay, great. So then I put this jacket, and thank God, because I would not have wanted all my engagement photos to be with the outfit I was wearing underneath. I get there, and it's like this super secret, like, knock, knock, knock on the. On the door. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, this is, like a proper speakeasy. But it was just to let everyone know that I had arrived. I walk in, and I just see this, like, long aisle of white. And he's standing at the very end. But he was coming to the birthday dinner. He was going to meet us there, so it wasn't shocking to see him there. And I just thought, this is what the restaurant looked like. I didn't know. I was like, oh, my God, it's beautiful in here. And there's, like, white flowers everywhere and candles. I'm like, oh, my God, this restaurant is so gorgeous. And I see him standing there, and it took me a second, but I kept walking. And then I realized my friends weren't walking with me. Like, they stayed behind. I look back at them, and they're, like, giggling. I look back at Rudy, and he's sitting there smiling. And then I hear the song playing, and it's the engagement party song from La La Land. And I just. I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God, it's happening.

[Jay Shetty]

And then I'm getting chills right now just listening to Larry.

[Camila Mendes]

I'm getting good chills because we love La La Land. And we bonded about that when we first met. And then we had this, like, beautiful little private moment. He proposed, did the whole thing. And then, like, I didn't even have a time to process. And then all of a sudden, he was like, I want to show you something. And he, like, takes me through a curtain. And then, like, it was, like, a huge surprise party, and, like, my mom was there and all my closest friends, and it was just this, like, beautiful moment. And then we got to, like, go right into a big celebration that went for hours. And then from there, we went to Glen palace, where I saw you guys, and I changed into my tracksuit.

[Jay Shetty]

Yes.

[Camila Mendes]

And then as soon as we walked out of the car, Rudy and I hadn't even discussed. It was all happening so fast, but he was, like, on cloud nine. And as soon as we walk out of the car, there's, like, paparazzi, because there's paparazzi outside this house. And Rudy just goes, we got engaged. And he, like, announces it to the whole world. And I was like, oh, God. I'm like. I'm like, you shouldn't have done that, but I love you, and that's. It's fine. And. And then it ended up being great. Like, it was just, like, a. Such a fun night. And we got to run into so many people and be like, we're engaged. Like, it was just, like, the high of that.

[Jay Shetty]

I remember him shouting that out, actually.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Because I was just about leaving.

[Camila Mendes]

Then Rudy's like, so. Not, like, the being famous thing. He, like, doesn't think about those. That he's just, like, authentically himself. He, like, doesn't even. But I'm. I'm always the, like, cautious one of, like, wait, we shouldn't do that. We shouldn't go.

[Jay Shetty]

It's a good balance.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

How is all of this learning, love, growth in your life? How did you bring it to Masters of the Universe? Like, did it. Was it in parallel, some of it

[Camila Mendes]

was it having gone to Hoffman and, like, having this spiritual journey when I came back from it very shortly after I got the audition and then got the role. And I don't know, I just feel like when you kind of align with yourself, like, opportunities come your way, this felt like a blessing in that way. And it's a superhero movie, you know? Like, it's. It's all about good versus evil and light versus dark in the most tangible way. And I've always struggled to connect with superhero films in the past because it's almost like, too big, it's too grand of an idea. Like, good versus evil is so binary to me, and I've. I've always struggled to connect with that. But then after coming out of Hoffman and then I booked this role where it really is about, like, lightness versus darkness and empowerment and self identity. And I was like, oh, I really. I think I get it now. Like, I do understand this theme. That's why these stories are told. That's why these stories, like, say what you want about superhero films, but I think there's like. Like, thematically, there are themes in there fully agree that, like, are very important. And for me, it was like finding the light. I had to fight my dark side and fight just the darkness in general. And that's what this movie is all about in a way, you know? And so, yeah, I feel like it came at the perfect time of my life where I sort of was already feeling like this, like, more heroic version of myself.

[Jay Shetty]

How did your spirituality help you show up on set differently?

[Camila Mendes]

I was, like, doing my meditations in my trailer every day.

[Jay Shetty]

Oh, that's cool.

[Camila Mendes]

And, like, grounding myself in a way that felt right. And, you know, it's. I've come such a long way since Riverdale, and I know what things I need to do to take care of myself now. Like, because being on set is so overwhelming and stressful, and there's always a lot of pressure and everything's moving so quickly. But, like, I just feel like I have the tools now to take care of myself. Like, I just know what I need to do to feel good. And I was, like, constantly in search of. Of what those tools were, and I. I found them. Like, I, like, have real tangible tools. Like, if Hoffman taught me anything, they gave me real tools that I can use. It's so. It's so effective. It's so practical. It's very easy. And now I feel like I just. I have that at my fingertips and I can do it in My trailer. And it takes two minutes, and I'll feel like I'm set for the day. And I have, like, I know what I need to do throughout the day to look out for myself.

[Jay Shetty]

Your energy is infectious. And just, you know, I can tell just how much work you've done, what you've looked at. Like, you've. You've visited all the corners, and of course there'll be more, but you visited all the corners of your psyche up until this point.

[Camila Mendes]

And by the way, though, I'm like, I don't want to frame this. Like, I'm, you know, some perfect human being who's, like, so evolved and so spiritually connected. Like, I. In the last few months, I feel like I've completely disconnected and I have to find my way back again, you know? Like, I. I also have my ups and downs in that spiritual journey where I, like, will stop doing everything. And then I'm like, oh, I gotta go back to. Tell me about it, you know, and then. And then I find my way back to it. But I just. They even say this at Hoffman. It's like a pendulum. Like, you swing one way and. And with time, it'll just start settling a little bit more. Like, you won't swing so far in the other direction. Maybe you'll lose your cool a little bit, but not as much. And that just keeps going and going, you know? And so sometimes I do sort of, like, lose connection to it, but I trust that I'll find my way back and the pendulum will swing.

[Jay Shetty]

That's a beautiful way of putting it. Yeah, I love that. Camilla. We end every episode of On Purpose with the Final Five. These questions have to be answered in one sentence maximum. And so, Camila Mendez, these are your final five. Question number one. What is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

[Camila Mendes]

I feel like this is a silly piece of advice to share, but it's helped me a lot in relationships. You know, Mark Consuelos plays my dad on Riverdale, and him and Kelly have been together forever, and they're like, couple goals to me. And I was like, what's your secret? Like, what's, like. What's, like a piece of advice you have for me? And he was like, whenever I, like, go to say something, I ask myself three questions. Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? Do I need to be the one to say it?

[Jay Shetty]

Good questions.

[Camila Mendes]

That, like, thought pattern is very helpful for me.

[Jay Shetty]

Second question. What is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

[Camila Mendes]

I Hate when people tell me not to tell the truth about something. Or, like, when they're like, you don't need to say that. Don't share that. Don't tell that person that thing. I'm such an honest person. Like, I need to lead with honesty. That's like, my number one thing. I always feel like telling the truth is the better option. And sometimes when I've, you know, made mistakes in life, I've had people tell me, like, don't tell anybody that. And I'm so grateful that I didn't listen to that advice.

[Jay Shetty]

Question number three. I want you to repeat after me and complete the sentence. This is about overthinking. I think I think too much about.

[Camila Mendes]

I think I think too much about what people think of me, if people will like me. Very recently, I feel like I've started to surrender to it, specifically around this press tour for Masters of the Universe. I think because it's, like, maybe the biggest stage I've ever been on. It's a whole new audience that I've. That I haven't had a relationship with yet. You know, like, I've had a relationship with, like, the young adult audience, but this is a whole other demographic, and I sort of have had to kind of accept, like, I can't be palatable for everyone. Like, it's just not possible. Not everyone is gonna like me. And that's okay, because if I'm being myself, then there's nothing really I can do about that. Like, I can't really change how someone feels about me. But if I'm being myself, that's really all I can do.

[Jay Shetty]

Absolutely.

[Camila Mendes]

And it's like, take it or leave it. Because I think I've tried a lot in my life to, like, be liked by everyone, and I think it only makes me a less interesting person, because you're not really revealing yourself to anybody. You know, you're just, like, such a neutral person that, like, there's like. It's like, who are you? Yeah, I'd rather just be known than liked.

[Jay Shetty]

One of my favorite quotes is, confidence doesn't mean everyone will like me. It means I'll be okay even if they don't.

[Camila Mendes]

Exactly.

[Jay Shetty]

And that feels much safer than trying to get everyone to like you.

[Camila Mendes]

I struggle sometimes to share things about my life because I'm like, how's the person gonna feel about me saying that? Like, what conclusions are they gonna make about me as a person? But then I'm like, everything I've said has been honest. Like, that's all I can do.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Camila Mendes]

I can't do anything about my truth. Like, that's just the life that I've lived and what I've learned and, like, I can't do anything about that.

[Jay Shetty]

Question four, how's wedding planning going?

[Camila Mendes]

It's like, very slow. Very, very slow. The house has taken over, honestly, because we weren't expecting, like the house thing just kind of came up and we were like, we jumped on it and then that's been a very time consuming thing. There's still, there's a lot of empty space that we need to fill. So that's sort of been the priority right now. But it's going. We have a location.

[Jay Shetty]

Great.

[Camila Mendes]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Fifth and final question. Camilla. We ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

[Camila Mendes]

Be honest. I would make lying illegal. I feel like that'd be really dangerous. I feel like we, like society wouldn't function in full truth, but I don't know. I want to see what would happen.

[Jay Shetty]

It's a good look. That's what Camilla's world looks like.

[Camila Mendes]

Yes. I love that honesty.

[Jay Shetty]

Camila Mendez, congrats on your professional life, your personal life. Thank you for being so open. I feel like I learned so much about you today. I could honestly talk to you for another two hours, but honestly, this has been such a joy and a gift.

[Camila Mendes]

It's been so lovely.

[Jay Shetty]

Thank you for being so vulnerable and so kind and generous.

[Camila Mendes]

Thank you.

[Jay Shetty]

Thank you for trusting me. I appreciate it.

[Camila Mendes]

You made it really easy.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Well, I hope you'll come back.

[Camila Mendes]

Oh, my God, please.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, come back regularly.

[Camila Mendes]

Give us updates when I've lived more life.

[Jay Shetty]

Yes, yes, absolutely. Thank you so much.

[Camila Mendes]

Thank you.