Podcast Summary: "Chris Appleton EXCLUSIVE: 'I Thought My Kids Would Be Better Off Without Me'"
Podcast Information:
- Title: On Purpose with Jay Shetty
- Host: Jay Shetty (iHeartPodcasts)
- Episode Title: Chris Appleton EXCLUSIVE: “I Thought My Kids Would Be Better Off Without Me” Opening up About The Darkest Night of His Life and What FINALLY Gave Him The Courage to Live Authentically
- Release Date: August 6, 2025
Introduction
In this deeply personal and moving episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty interviews celebrity hairstylist Chris Appleton. Known for styling the likes of Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian, and Ariana Grande, Chris opens up about his journey of self-discovery, the challenges of living authentically, and the darkest moments of his life, including contemplating suicide. Through his debut book, "Your Roots Don't Define You," Chris aims to inspire others to embrace their true selves and overcome societal pressures.
Early Life and Identity
Chris Appleton begins by reflecting on his childhood in a large, working-class family in northern England. As one of five siblings, he often felt out of place and struggled with his identity. Chris shares a poignant memory from when he was eight or nine years old, feeling isolated and misunderstood:
"I remember looking out the window and I felt quite alone. And I think that was the beginning of me kind of abandoning myself in a way to fit in." [06:38]
This sense of not belonging led him to hide his true self, especially his sexuality, during his formative years. Chris discusses the societal stigma he faced, including bullying and harsh judgments about being gay:
"Being gay must be bad because people are, you know, they weren't saying it in a nice way." [02:37]
Career Journey
Despite these challenges, Chris discovered his passion for hairstyling at a young age. Battling dyslexia and feeling "stupid," he found solace and purpose in transforming people's appearances, which made him feel powerful and connected. His determination to excel in hairdressing drove him to work tirelessly, often pushing himself to learn new techniques and break free from being pigeonholed as a salon hairstylist.
"I wanted to be the best at it and I'll prove everyone wrong that I'm not stupid." [09:44]
Chris's commitment and resilience eventually led to high-profile opportunities, including styling celebrities on major platforms like The Voice, which marked the beginning of his illustrious career in Hollywood.
Personal Struggles and Mental Health
The conversation takes a somber turn as Chris bravely shares his darkest moment—his attempted suicide driven by immense shame and the fear of hurting his children due to his sexuality. He recounts the night he decided to end his life:
"I closed my eyes and this is it. I won't hurt anyone anymore." [02:53]
Chris describes his hospitalization and the pivotal realization that he could no longer hate himself or suppress his true identity. This epiphany was a turning point, allowing him to embrace authenticity and seek help through therapy.
"Once I looked in the mirror and allowed myself to be seen, that was the beginning of it all." [12:43]
Overcoming Shame and Authentic Living
Jay Shetty and Chris discuss the profound impact of shame on mental health, especially for men who often feel pressured to conform to societal expectations. Chris emphasizes the importance of unpicking the persona he had created to fit in and reconnecting with his true self.
"It's not the easiest work I've ever done, but I would say the most rewarding, for sure." [12:34]
Therapy played a crucial role in Chris's healing process, helping him process his emotions, forgive himself, and rebuild his life with greater authenticity. He highlights that true happiness comes from internal alignment rather than external success.
"True happiness on the inside is really a powerful tool." [38:24]
Relationships and Parenthood
Chris shares the emotional complexity of coming out to his partner and children after nine years of a committed relationship. He discusses the guilt and fear of how his revelation would impact his family, particularly his desire to protect his children from bullying and societal judgment.
"I felt like a disease. I wanted to cut it out of me." [28:02]
Despite the initial turmoil, Chris managed to maintain a strong bond with his children, who expressed immense pride and love for him. Their heartfelt letters underscore the importance of transparency and the strength of familial love.
"It’s the greatest gift to have them and that they've been a part of this journey." [87:05]
Reflections and Advice
Throughout the episode, Chris offers invaluable insights for listeners grappling with their own identities and struggles. He advocates for self-acceptance, consistent personal growth, and the courage to live authentically. Chris's mantra, "Your roots don't define you," encapsulates the essence of his message: regardless of one's background or past, true transformation is always possible.
"It's never too late. People think it's too late. You can have a comeback at any age." [73:44]
Closing Remarks
As the conversation draws to a close, Jay Shetty and Chris reflect on the ongoing nature of personal growth and the importance of resilience. Chris emphasizes that everyone’s journey is unique, and despite the challenges, embracing one’s true self leads to genuine happiness and fulfillment.
Chris's openness about his struggles and triumphs serves as a beacon of hope for those facing similar battles, reinforcing the podcast’s mission to promote mental health, healing, and personal growth.
Notable Quotes:
- "Everyone's experience is different... let people live and let live and be." [92:51]
- "I have so much respect for her [Kim Kardashian]." [65:24]
- "I wake up every day and I'm still figuring out." [43:08]
- "It's okay if something's not aligned anymore." [73:55]
Key Takeaways:
- Self-Discovery: Embracing one's true identity is a courageous journey that requires immense self-reflection and acceptance.
- Mental Health: Addressing shame and seeking therapy are crucial steps toward healing and living authentically.
- Resilience: Overcoming societal pressures and personal struggles demands resilience, consistency, and a commitment to personal growth.
- Authentic Relationships: Transparency and honesty in relationships foster deeper connections and mutual respect.
- Never Too Late: Transformation and personal growth are perpetual processes, and it’s never too late to make positive changes in one’s life.
Conclusion
Chris Appleton's heartfelt narration offers a profound exploration of identity, shame, and the transformative power of living authentically. His story serves as an inspiring reminder that no matter the obstacles, embracing one's true self leads to genuine fulfillment and happiness.
This summary captures the essence of the episode while highlighting the most impactful moments and insights shared by Chris Appleton and Jay Shetty.
