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This is the iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human Checking off the boxes on your to do list is a great way to keep your mind clear. That's why a State Farm agent is there to help you choose a coverage option that's right for you as you go through life getting that new house, car, boat, motorcycle or even rv. Helping Protect it is always a good idea. Whether you prefer talking in person, on the phone or on the award winning app. State Farm is there to help protect what's important to you. And with so many coverage options, it's nice having help to find what fits for you. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there Making space for ourselves is one of the most important things we can do, giving ourselves the time and the room to try new things. Well, it turns out our feet benefit from more space too. That's why I just picked up a pair of Ultra running shoes. The ultra fit design has more room for my toes, so they're comfortable, they keep me balanced and seriously, my feet actually feel stronger. I've even started running more because of it. And honestly I didn't expect to notice it this quickly, but from my first walk it just felt different. Lighter, more natural. I've been wearing them on my morning walks and it genuinely makes getting out there feel easier. Treat yourself to a pair of ultras@ultrarunning.com and use code purpose10 for 10% off. That's a L T R-running.com stay out there. Life has a way of becoming overwhelming when you least expect it. One moment everything feels in place and the next you're navigating the unexpected. Especially for parents. Like when the whole family gets sick in the middle of the night and you can't leave the house, but you still need medicine and supplies to help everyone feel better. That's where doordash comes in. It helps take something off your plate so you can focus on what truly matters. Showing up for the people you love. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is to accept that you don't have to do everything on your own. When life gets crazy, doordash helps bring some order to it.
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Order now failure does not exist. It's just data. It's going to make you question a lot of things about yourself. If you're capable, if it's worth it,
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what do you successful people have that people who don't make it don't have?
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They keep going even when it stops being exciting.
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How do we stop comparing our timeline to everyone else's?
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Success does not have a finish line, so we can't compare something that does not exist. Once you believe you are better than anyone else, you're done.
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Carl Santoro, welcome to On Purpose. It's great to have you here.
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Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited.
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Carl, I've been such a fan of yours from afar. We don't know each other. We just met today, but I've been following your content. It's always, always direct. It's clear. The message is easy to understand, easy to apply. There are millions of people across the world that are following you, learning from you. And you just told me that the number one Google question about you is, is Coral Centauro AI?
B
Well, I think we all in this room can confirm that I'm not. So I love it.
A
I'm not sure yet. I'm not sure.
B
I'm not sure. Is Jay Shetty doing the first hologram ever?
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No, no, no, I would not do it.
B
No, I love it. So, yeah, I'm very much. How does that make you feel?
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How does that make you feel when people are asking that question?
B
It is so funny because I'm in actual tech space, so I develop software. I'm in an AI, and when they started asking me about these things, I'm like, it kind of makes sense. But at the same time, as soon as I started posting more content, a lot of the people started realizing it was not. I still get a few questions here and there, but it was mostly about me coming into the space of social media because what I do is, like the fun side of my life. What I actually do is text. So I came into this space and I understood it because no one had seen me before. And in this moment that we are, you don't know what's real or what's not. So I kind of understood it. And that's the point that I understood that I had to go more into stories, show people a little bit here and there about me being real. Honestly, what's funny? And me being the first interview here, and I'm. I'm super happy that people get to see that I'm a real person.
A
Absolutely. Talk to me about, if someone listens to this episode today, what do you want them to walk away with? What do you want them to feel? How do you want them to change their life?
B
To be honest, like, just like the name of the podcast, Purpose, I got into social media and everything that you see, I got into this space because I didn't want people to feel behind in life because of what they see. I feel like nowadays we can get confused very easily in the men's side. I was talking about this the other day. If you are not flaunting cash outside of Lamborghini and doing all these things that you see, you're behind if you're a woman, if you don't have a Birkin bag, and if you don't have, you know, a bouquet of roses outside of a jet, oh my gosh. Like I don't have the right person. And that is not real life. I hated the romanticism that we're seeing in entrepreneurship just because real life is not doing a canva template and saying to people, do this course and you'll be financially free. And then people believe that and that's not real life. We all have struggles. We all go through things in our lives, even if it's relationships or work. I want people that every time they listen to something, it's purpose. You're not behind, you're on track. You're not on a race with anyone. And that's why I love so much everything that you portray. And that's why I wanted to come here so much. Because this is real life. And I feel like the type of content that we put out everyone relates in a different way. I feel like we're all in the same boat, but we all have different destinations. At the end of the day, we all have problems in this room. We all have a problem. And it's not rare, but it's just how we can get support from now online. Some beautiful things that I follow a lot of the guests that have been here and have avoided. And I feel like we all have a voice and we all have a story and if we can put it out there and people can relate in their own way, I think that's the purpose of life.
A
You spoke about timelines there. You spoke about this idea of not being behind. How do we stop comparing our timeline to everyone else around us when it feels like we're so overexposed? Like you said to the cars, the Birkin bag, the bank balance, the jet, the whatever it may be. Now, you know, before you'd compare yourself to the 20 people in your class at school. Now you can see what 20,000 people across the world are doing. How do we stop comparing our timeline to everyone else's?
B
There's no race. They made us believe that there's an invisible finish line and success does not have a finish line. So we can't compare something that does not exist. I'm going to tell you a little bit about me. When I graduated from high school I did not go the traditional path. Let's say I saw my friends going to college, doing all this college life and I knew that college wasn't per me, it wasn't my path. And at first it was when social media just started popping off and I remember posting and I remember my so called friends talking about me in group chats and stuff. And that's the thing that a lot of people are afraid to go out there because of the group. What will they say? And I always say what will they say about what? It's your life, let them talk for a little bit. Then when you make it, everyone knows you, everyone is your friend. So what I'd like to say is like there is no race, there is no invisible finish line. You cannot compare to something that does not exist. When you follow your own path, when you follow your own passion, a lot of people will not understand that is for sure. When you're doing something different, people will tell you you're crazy. People will tell you that's not the right path to go. And it's because they're talking about their insecurities, not about the reality of what you can portray. So when I started on social media I remember myself putting out there like years ago because I had an account. It was all about different things I wanna have now. It was about fashion and trips and st. And I remember all these people that I thought were my friends. And if someone's listening to to this and thinks that their friends are going to talk about you because you're online, they're going to talk about you and that's beautiful. And if you get 4 likes and all the people that you thought they were going to support you and you thought they were going to buy your product, you thought they were going to put a like on your new page for your brand and they don't. That is showing you who your true circle is. That is showing you that you are doing something that they are not willing to do, which is expose yourself, which is putting yourself out there and that is bravery to the max. And I think that today seeing all these things about comparing ourselves online about people that are younger than ourselves because a lot of people are like, oh my goodness, he's 20 and he's already a millionaire, that's perfectly fine. KFC started when he was 75 or 70 something. And then you see Vera Wong, she decided her first like we've seen this, there's no timeline for success. So if you're patient, I was just telling to my team Here. And I was talking to them about this, and I'm like, if you're not in a rush about posting at first, you're not going to get likes. That's fine. If you're not in a rush, you're going to get there. So there's no comparison about you being younger or being older. My parents are 60s and they're reinventing themselves. They're like, I want to do something different. They're 60s. I started young when I was 18, doing political things with no experience at all. And now I'm about to turn 29 and be like, oh, my gosh, you're a baby. I'm like, yes, but during this 10 years, I didn't compare myself to anyone else and just follow my path, follow my gut. And now I've got the chance to work with presidential campaigns, Fortune 500 CEOs, and it was my path. So if you still want to do it, get the advice from people that are online, but don't compare to it. Just get it and go out. Put yourself out there.
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Any successful person I've interviewed or talked to, this idea of knowing how to deal with what everyone thinks of you is huge. It's one of the biggest things I was sharing yesterday. Last night, I was just mentioning to you that I was interviewing Emma Greed for her book launch here in London at the Hackney Empire. And she's from East London, I'm from London. So it was a really, really special feeling. And I shared this quote that I've shared many times, but every time I say it has such an impact on me and, and everyone who hears it. It's from Charles Horton Cooley. He said it 1890. And the fact he said in 1890 tells us everything he said. The challenge today is, I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.
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I love that. And it's so.
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Brilliant statement. Yeah. He's saying that we live in a perception of a perception of ourselves. So we think, if everyone thinks I'm smart, then I feel smart, but if everyone else thinks I'm weak, then I feel weak.
B
You know what? I heard this, and it's called the Marilyn Monroe Effect. So she showed up herself how she wanted to be portrayed. So she was an orphan and she didn't have the means to be who she was supposed to be. So I'm like, if you want to be a Hollywood actress, if you want to do all these things and you think you don't have the things Marilyn showed up as the person she wanted to be. And I love that, because once you believe in yourself so much, you're going to make it. Like I always say, you're going to make it. I didn't have the contact, I didn't have the money to do other things. And I just worked so hard and believed in myself so hard, and the talents and the capabilities I had to that it starts showing, and that's when people start calling you. So it's just about believing in yourself so much.
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What are the top three traits you believe successful people have that people who don't make it don't have?
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They always ask me, what's the difference? With 1%, they keep going even when it stops being exciting. A lot of people start think of the domain, they get the username, they get excited doing some Canva pose, and then nobody likes, nobody buys. The idea is not good. The idea is not. The problem is that you're not patient enough. And then you have to be honest with yourself. And I think the honesty is that you have to tell yourself that it's not gonna be easy, that it's gonna require a lot of effort. And once you're honest with that, you have to be on a track, that your vision has to be so strong, but the path to getting there has to be flexible. So I feel like the 1% is always patient, is always honest, and the vision has to be so strong, but the path to getting there has to be flexible. Once you understand that, you're gonna understand that your timing is not the timing that you want. I took 10 years to get where I am. So when people see like, oh, she's an overnight success. Overnight success does exist. After you work 10 years with nobody watching and nobody clapping for you, that's when it shows. So be patient, be honest with yourself, and be very stubborn with your vision, but the path get ever flexible.
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Yeah.
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So that's. That's the 1% difference. Once it stops being exciting, be so repetitive about the boring stuff that you're going to make it. Because everyone thinks success is exciting to get here to do this podcast, the logistics behind it. This is the fun part when we get to talk. But in any brand, in any, any business, any relationship, the boring stuff is what makes everything stick together in a relationship. I love talking about relationships because I feel like it's been so romanticized about things that a relationship is a thing that you work on every single day in a business. You work on relationships with your team, with your employees, even with yourself. So it's a matter of just repeating the boring stuff over and over again and getting better at it and listening to other people. Also, one more thing that we're talking about that is listening. I feel like once you think you know it all, you know nothing. That's the kind of thing, once you believe you are better than anyone else, you're done. In my thing and my company, what we do every Monday, I'm the last one to speak. Because if you speak first as a boss, as a CEO, then everyone's going to agree with you because they might be afraid not to give you the, the reason. Yes, you're. You're good. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I don't want. Yes people around me. I want people to make me better. And that happens with relationships. You want your partner to make you better. Right now I'm in a beautiful relationship that has make me a better entrepreneur, a better woman, a better. Because they rise you up. It's not that you're comfortable, but they make you better. I have beautiful friends who want me to succeed. So it's a matter of, you know, I feel just listening, the power of listening, not knowing it all. That's how you learn until the last day of your life. If you listen, you learn and you get to know people better. About the people who love to talk more as well, because people talk too much, you know that they're. They're the ones who usually, not always, but owe the least and have the least to portray.
A
You just reminded me of Eric Schmidt, the former CEO of Google. He had a principle that he called don't listen to the hippo in the room.
B
Love that.
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And hippo stands for highest paid person's opinion.
B
Love that.
A
And he said the same thing. He said, if I speak in a leadership meeting or the most successful or wealthy person in the room speaks, everyone around them will just agree. And so it's better to allow everyone else. One thing that you mentioned that really stands out to me. You said, what differentiates the winners from the people who don't make it is that they keep working when it's not exciting. And I think that's where the follow your passion movement went wrong. Because people had this belief that if I follow my passion or if I do, my purpose and everything's going to be easy. I'm going to wake up happy every day. I'm absolutely going to love everything I do. Not realizing that actually, if you follow your passion, there's going to be lots of days where you're doing things you don't want to do where things are not exciting, where you're not winning, where things are not working out, and you're spot on that being able to work when things are uncomfortable is what differentiates the top 1%. And so how do you keep going? How do you keep trying and experimenting when things feel slow and they're not going your way, how do we stay patient to your first point?
B
So I like giving this example. When you go to the gym the first time, everything hurts and you see nothing but just internal pain. And then if you keep going, you start seeing a little bit here and there of a muscle. You start seeing here and there a tighten. That's the same effect. Following your purpose and your passion is hard because you're not going the traditional way. Right. And we're not going the traditional way. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna make you question a lot of things about yourself. If you're capable, if it's worth it, why it's not working. Why am I doing wrong? Is idea bad? It's not. But once you surpass that pain, that internal pain, you start seeing results and it's quiet. Success is quiet at first. It's not easy because you are not exposed. It's just you, yourself in a room, maybe with a laptop, and not a team or anything. And at first, all entrepreneurs know you are your own pa, your own personal assistant who's responding the emails. You are the marketing team, you are sales, you are everything. And that is fine. That's how we all started. But once you believe in the process of that, you're grieving something inside of you as well during that change. Because I feel like what success really is, if they ask me what is successful. Success is who you're becoming in the process. It's the resilience you're building. It is the path to the top. You're going to be losing weight because to get there, you're gonna lose friends for sure. You're gonna lose friends because you're not the same person. You're gonna not be able to speak about the same things on a dinner table. And that is fine. You're gonna maybe lose family members who didn't believe in you, and that is fine as well. And you're gonna lose a part of yourself that you might not notice because in that silence of not notice changes, you're changing and that is already success. So on the way to the top, I always say, the top is not closed. People at the top will want to help you. I heard a friend of mine Saying, a lot of people aren't helping me. And I'm like, you don't need. In life, you don't need a lot of people. You just need one. If you have one person who grabs you by the hand, tells you, I'm gonna. I'm gonna help you, I'm gonna introduce you to someone, that might be enough. You don't need an army of people to succeed. You need first to believe in yourself and then just one person to introduce you. So the top is not closed. The thing is that the top is cold. People were not expecting it to be that cold, because when you get to the top, it gets lonely sometimes, because since you lost a lot of things during the process of getting there, it's a new you. And at the top, there are fewer voices. So that means that you have more time to think. As a CEO, you have. It's you deciding. You don't get to run to other people lots of times. So that's when your mind has to be very clear on listening on who you are and being so sure that any decision that you make, either it turns into good or bad. It's you at the top, who got there, who've made all decisions to get there, and you're gonna be fine. So I feel like the same thing. Once you understand that there's gonna be silence, that you're gonna lose people, that you're gonna grieve an old part of yourself. You're ready and the climb is slow and you lose people. But it's worth it.
A
I always say to people, you'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagine it, a hundred percent. Because all of us have a visual of what the path looks like and then reality next to it, which doesn't look like that at all. And then we start thinking, well, this can't be the right path because it doesn't look like what I visioned. It doesn't look like the idea I had. And reality saying, no, no, no, this is what it's going to look like. And we just keep debating, we keep fighting it. And then you don't take the step forward in reality, because it doesn't look like the one in your dream.
B
In my case, I started so different from where I am now.
A
Tell me about that.
B
So I graduated from high school, like I mentioned, and I wanted to be what it was. It was a blogger in that time because it was like an actual blog. And I started posting, and at first it was like nothing, and it was kind of tough Because a lot of my friends were talking about me, and, oh, she thinks she's an influence. That was an influencer. It was. Oh, she thinks she's a bl. You know, but that's so cool when they underestimate you. I love being underestimated because you get to build quieter. You don't have pressure. You don't have to prove anything.
A
Everyone thinks you're gonna fail anyway.
B
Yes. So why not do it?
A
It's a good place to be.
B
I love it. So once I started posting these things later on today, they all are my friends, they all know me, and they all want something. That's the path. When I started, I thought it was gonna be into fashion, but once I started getting invited into Fashion Week, I understood the power of technology and where it was going. So I started calling all these brands that were inviting me to Fashion Week, and I started doing their social media accounts. So once I understood the power of social media, I went into my first presidential campaign. I managed my first presidential campaign. Then it led me to a second one third, and now I'm starting my fourth one. So if you told me that I would end up in politics, and then that led to cybersecurity, me development softwares and cybersecurity, I would have never believed it. Or me being a political strategist, never would have thought in a second. So if you told me that by age 29, 29, I would have been divorced, I would have never believed it. And that is fine. I remember when I got divorced, it was something like, ooh, she's so young, and she got divorced. And I always love to talk about it because it's not a taboo thing. Like, I got the most amicable divorce ever. It was all good, but it's just things that happen, and life will just throw things at you that you're not prepared. But the resilience comes through the hardest moments of your life. And in that moment, through all the things that I've been through. And now I started into this path of social media, of what I do. This is the fun things. I get messages from all around the world about people, me changing their lives, which I would have never envisioned it. Right? So I always say to. To the people I coach and to people I talk to, do. You don't do any. Everyone else is taken, right? I've heard that phrase, you know, everyone's taken. Just be, you know, and in my case, I'm young, but I've lived so much. Even my Spotify account says that I'm 63 years old. I totally believe it. I'm an old soul.
A
You mean when it does the Spotify rap you listen to?
B
Exactly.
A
That's hilarious.
B
Yeah, this makes sense. Exactly. This makes sense. So it's just a matter of, like, do you do whatever dress. If you want to dress in a certain way, dress in a certain way. You want to go a different path. That is not the typical one. Do it. And don't criticize others. It is so important because that energy that you're portraying by criticizing or doing, it's not coming back to you in a goat way. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and she said, oh, I heard this friend of ours had a baby, and she thinks she's a mom influencer. I thought I'd be like, that's so cool. But the way she said it, and it's those things that I hear all the time. She thinks she is. Oh, she thinks she's a singer. She thinks she's a designer. She is a designer. She might not be at the top yet, but she's gonna get there. She's not the top influencer, but she's gonna get there in her own timing. So the way that we portray words is so important because if someone has blue hair and you are staring at her because she has blue hair, let her. It's just like the Mel Robbins thing, right? That it's like, let them. Let her. If they want to do something different that you are not engaged with, let them be. You do you. You focus on yourself so much that your energy. I've heard this over and over. Successful people cannot criticize others because they don't have the time for it. They're so focused on being better of. For example, I feel like us sitting here. I'm happy about your success. I'm happy about you having a production company. I'm truly happy. Like, when I saw it, I called Paige, who's been so wonderful like, Paige, if you're listening to this, it was so good, because I'm happy for it, because I know what it takes to get to certain places. And when people read headlines and when we put something out there, it's not to brag. I always say when people put a vacation there, it's not to brag. If people put something in their social media, sometimes it's not to brag. It's sometimes a way of saying, you know, the times, they said no to a lot of things to get there. So many times they had to cry themselves to sleep to finally purchase the car. They've been saving for. So a lot of times we read social media in the ways that we want to read. If it's with envy, we can twist the envy in a way. If you're jealous about something, let it be for good. Let it be for if he can do it, I can do it. But not in a way of like, oh, he has it, then it's not for me, or I cannot have it. There's room for everyone. The world can give so much. The doors are not close to just, do you be happy what you have and read the things differently. Be happy for others. Truly, we are in a society that is so jealous, so confused because they don't have it. And I know there's tough times, but in the toughest times, it's when people can arise, they can become the person they want to become. I remember one time I had, like $12 to my name and I was looking at my bank account and I could have.
A
Where were you at that time?
B
It was when I just started and I needed to do, like, my first website for my. It was when E commerce was started booming. And I remember the YouTubers. That's one of one of the things they were like, you're going to become a billionaire if you do this product. And Amazon FBA was called a thing or something like that. And I was like, ooh, I'm gonna get into E commerce. So I saw all these YouTubers. It was like 12 years ago. And I got into it. I paid this guy to do my website, and he basically got my card. I was naive. I gave him my card, and basically he took, like, all the money, didn't retrieve anything. And in that moment, I understood the power of anything. Live, like, trust, like I trust in the guy. It failed. It was a lesson. And I opened my bank account and I feel like we've all been there. When you look at your bank account, you're like, oh, my gosh, the overdraft fee and all these things, right? And there was two options. Either I stayed there and cried, or I started to work. That's how it got into tech. I learned how to code my own website because I didn't have money to pay someone to do my website. And I realized later on how I got into tech was by a moment, a failure. Which I love to say, failure does not exist. It's just data. It's just giving you more information. And in those moments where you're like, what am I gonna do with my life? And a lot of things, I feel like people Right now in the world are struggling with financial situations like, ever before. And in those moments, I want you to know that I feel like all successful people. We've been there. It's not easy to get to where you want to get. And on my way here, I remember that a lot of people think they see the car or they see the bag or the watch, and they. They want that. And I'm like, it's fine. You. You can get there. But real success is not assets. Real success is who you become in the process. And real success once you get there is who you share it with.
A
Yeah.
B
Because once you get there, it's like, who I want to share the news. Before I came here, I called my partner. I'm like, I'm so excited. He was like, oh, you look so beautiful. Congratulations. And, like, they're happy for me. I caught my friend, and she's like, oh, my gosh, I'm so excited for you. I brought here my team. They're so excited for me. It's who you share it with. And I always say in friendship, if there's a slight chance of envy or jealousy, the friendship is gone because they are competing with you. And the second they're competing with you, it's broken. People who are around you have to be happy about your success because they know their timing is coming. They're following their own timeline, and they're happy for you. And that's so important, who you share success with.
A
Your outdoor space should feel like an extension of you. But before Wayfair, mine honestly didn't. It felt underused, a little mismatched, and not really somewhere I wanted to spend time. Now it's completely different. I actually find myself stepping outside more. Whether it's morning coffee, catching up with friends, or just winding down at the end of the day, it's become a real part of my routine, not just the space I walk past. And that shift really came down to a few key pieces. Outdoor seating that actually feels comfortable. Lighting that makes the space feel warm at night, and storage that keeps everything looking clean without effort. And if you haven't tried Wayfair yet, I'd honestly say it's the easiest way to upgrade your home without overthinking it. Everything from outdoor furniture to decor is in one place. And with over 20 million 5 star reviews plus their Wayfair Verified program, you can feel confident in what you're getting. Patio season is here, and these deals won't last. Head to Wayfair.com right now to get your outdoor space ready for way less. That's W A Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. The future won't wait and neither should you. That's why American Public University offers Master's programs designed for momentum, affordable, high quality and flexible. So you keep moving forward with career relevant programs in business, healthcare, education, it and more. You can gain skills you can use right away and the confidence to power your next move. American Public University made for what's next? Learn more at apu Apus Edu every day around 3pm I notice it that dip in energy where I start craving something a little sweet, a little comforting and for a long time I thought discipline meant ignoring it. But I've learned that when you give yourself something intentional, it actually helps you stay consistent with your wellness long term. That's why I've been really excited about Cachava's new coffee flavor. It has this smooth, rich taste made with premium decaffeinated Brazilian beans so it feels like a treat but without the jitters. What I love is that it's more than just a flavor. It's an all in one shake with clean, high quality ingredients. No artificial flavors, no fillers, just two scoops give you plant based protein fiber, greens and more supporting steady energy and healthy digestion throughout the day. It's a simple shift, but one that really adds up. Up Treat yourself to the flavor and nutrition your body craves. Go to cachava.com and use the code purpose for 15% off your first order. That's Cachava K A C-H-A-A.com code purpose. I'm so glad you brought up these more underlying things when it comes to success, especially when you talk about not criticizing others. Because I feel like as soon as we hear about someone doing something and if we're aware of it and they're doing it a little bit better than us, everyone gets really, really critical and we're being critical because we're being competitive. We don't even agree with what we're saying. We're just saying it because, oh, it's uncomfortable to hear that someone's doing it better than me, that someone's getting it right compared to me. And I think what that does is it creates a culture of criticism in our mind when now I think about this all the time. My friends who are doing well on social media will never laugh at someone else on social media. No, they'll only send me the good stuff that other people are doing. They'll say hey, did you see this update? Did you see what this person just launched? Did you see what this person invested in? And all of my friends who are doing badly on social media will always send me a video of someone to laugh at them, to be like, oh, did you see? Oh, look at, let's laugh at this. And it's fascinating to me how you get lost in that world and you feel better about yourself. So what I found is if you're doing well, you feel better when other people are doing better because it shows you there's more opportunity. But when you're doing badly, you feel happier when other people are doing worse because that makes you feel like a bit of an ego boost. And so I think it's such a good tell as to whether you're focused on yourself or whether you're not because of the critical piece. The other thing that you mentioned that really stood out to me is, is this idea of sharing it with people. Earlier you talked about the idea of being lonely at the top. And I think people are also lonely at the top because they don't know how to build the friendships that you're talking about. Because you can't control whether your friend's envious of you or not. You can't control that. How do you maintain good relationships on your way up so that you don't get to the top and then go, oh, I want to make friends now. Because once you're at the top, you don't know why someone wants to be friends with you.
B
Exactly.
A
So how do you maintain great friendships on the way up without knowing if someone's envious of you or not?
B
I think that you change your circle. It's gonna happen because the people you're doing business with usually end up being your friends. And the old circle just stays where they are. And not because it's wrong, but because their lives are different. And if you're doing something non conventional, you're hanging out with non conventional people with minds that don't see the impossible. Right. So I think you just change a circle. And that happens in life. Sometimes your group chat went silent. Someone had a baby, someone got married, someone went abroad, and the group goes silent. And then that's just life. The other day I was at a dinner and I heard them talk badly about you. And the response was like, that doesn't matter. What matters to me is why they felt comfortable doing in your presence if you're supposed to be my friend. So that's how you know.
A
Say that again. That's good.
B
If someone's Talking about you. And they come to you. A friend comes to you and says, I was at a dinner and they were talking badly about you. The thing is not why they were talking about me badly. It's because why they were so comfortable talking about me in your presence if you're supposed to be my friend. Right.
A
So good.
B
So I love that. Because if it's a true friend, they're not gonna dare to talk badly about you. So that's the thing. I think circles changes. I feel like in my life, my circles have changed multiple times. And that's just life. That's just the circle of life. And if you're married, sometimes your partner's friends are gonna be your friends. If you get divorced, maybe it splits. If you go to college, it's your college friends for that time. Then you depart from that city and then you have a new city and you become new friends. So I always talk about being an immigrant as well and following your dreams. Cause I feel like in a way, everyone that pursues something usually leaves home. And when you get there, you're praying that the lease you had is good enough. And if you're reading a yogurt flavor that you know the brand is good. And then you make your first out of friends and they are start to show you the city and then they become your person in that city and then you're pursuing a dream. So it's just like, I feel like it changes wherever you go, whoever you want. Sometimes it's who can take you there. Yeah, right. And you're hanging with them because you see that the possibilities. So it's just a matter of like life. I feel it's just like the circle of life.
A
Yeah, I think that's fair. I feel really fortunate that I've got friends who I've been friends with for probably about 20, 25 years who are still in my life. And you're spot on. The reason that we can all still be friends is because I hopefully am not an arrogant douche. And they're extremely. And they're extremely non envious. And I think those two things work really, really well together. When exactly to your point earlier, that I have a great group of friends who aren't envious and not competitive and not not, you know, trying to take me down. And then on the other side, you're absolutely right. Your circle changes and you meet new people that understand your new life. And I think that's what it is. I think people think when your circle changes, it makes it feel like, oh, because you're doing better. You want to be around people that are doing better. It's actually not that. It's actually people understanding you at different stages of your life who have seen you in different phases, who understand the pain you go through. So I have lots of friends in my industry. The best thing is we can all relate to each other when we're going through the same things. And my friends from back home, they've seen the full picture of me, and so I love that too, because they know me deeper than anyone else on the planet because they've seen me from day one.
B
Exactly.
A
So that idea that your friends change and your circle changes is valuable at the same time, as I'd encourage people to be like, you don't have to leave everyone behind.
B
No.
A
And you can open up the door for other people, 100%.
B
There was this beautiful story. I met one of the survivors of the Andes crash, and they were set up a group of friends who were leaving for a rugby tournament and the plane crashes. And I think if someone's seen the show on the movie on Netflix, it's great. I invite them to watch it. But I. I was talking to one of the survivors, and he said, well, something beautiful that takes me out of, like, bad days. Because I'm like, you're a group of friends who crashed in the snow. A lot of them died there, and you stayed there for 72 days stranded in snow. And I'm like, how did you pull through? He was like, all of us friends was important to see one good thing every day. And he said, something beautiful. I'm like, are you saying this because it sounds good? And he's like, no, because when you're in the snow and there's no sound and you just see plain white, you find beauty in things that you didn't understand before. He said while they were listening, like, at the rain or the snow falling, they were like, God is present. And if God made all of this, that means he's here with us. And I find it beautiful. I'm truly believer in God, and I feel like once you leave everything to him, everything starts becoming beautiful. And in that point, when he told me that in 72 days stranded in the snow, they saw one beautiful night.
A
72 days.
B
72 days in the cold with no food, like it was bad. But then I asked him something. I'm like, how did you know you're going to survive? And he said this because no one told us it was impossible. And that is something that you can take to you everyday life. You want to embark into a new chapter of your life and they tell you it's impossible. The market saturated, by the way, the market saturated was invented by someone with low creativity, to be honest.
A
So true.
B
But it's just you believe in yourself. Because usually people put their own fears into our own ideas and our own dreams. So that's why we believe in them and we think we cannot make it. So when he said that, I truly believe in it so much. Because he said, what if we would have been stranded with a lot of people around it, the odds of everyone saying, ooh, they're not going to make it, ooh, what are the conditions? 72 days in the cold, they're not going to make it. Would have been higher, right? So he said, nobody told us that it was impossible and seen one good thing in your life. And I truly believe in that. I believe in that. On the worst days that I have, I find one good thing. And once you find that one good thing, you push through, you wake up. One more day, be like one more day to fix any problem that I have. One more day to try again. One more day to become the person I want to become. One more day, one day at a time. That's why I don't believe in five year plans and five year plans, with the advance of technology, everything that doesn't exist. You know how I hire people, it's the funniest thing. I love resumes. That's all good, love that. But I usually take them to a smoothie ride. I take them with me to a smoothie. And I love how they treat people. I see how they treat the waiter or the person at the cashier. I see decisiveness on ordering. They're gonna take to like forever or, you know, and then while we're sitting in a casual environment, I ask questions about life, right? And when you get to know the person's gonna be part of your team, being good, being a good person, kind, heart, honest and has values, the resume will follow. But if you don't have that as a person, the rest doesn't matter. You can have Ivy League people in your team, that doesn't mean anything, but they're kind people. I hired the other day, it was impressive. I was doing this speech in Dubai and then this guy had come from India and he didn't know how to speak English, so he wrote on a piece of paper something. And he showed it to me once they were doing a meet and greet. And it was basically him saying that he was in tech and that he had saved the last amount of money and asked his mom to come to Dubai to meet me and had a chance to work at my company. And I thought that was so brave because he didn't have the language. He had spent the last cent to come and see me and he was taking a chance. And that's what I love, the three Cs of life. Challenges, choices and change. Challenges, we all have them and life will throw at us every single day. But then you have the chance to make a choice. And once you have that. This guy, I hired him on the spot. He showed me one. I thought it was so brave what he had done. So when I see people that have everything and oh, and he had Tourette syndrome. So when he started talking to me, he was like having a situation and showing with a piece of paper trembling. And I thought was so brave. Because the meaning of being brave is not that you're fearless, is that even though you have fear, you're gonna go for it. And that moment, he was so brave and I just gave him a hug. And I'm like, come, come Monday to my office. I'll pay the hotel. Don't worry about it. Take care of it. His mom just passed away now and he was a big chance that he was in my team. So it's just a matter of like, people. If you have air in your lungs, if you get the chance to wake up one more day, you can do it. You can totally do it. I believe in that so much. I have such amazing people. I didn't get here alone. Like, nobody gets there alone. You have people that have helped you. When this guy told me that he has survived in this situation, seen good thing and his friendships. Oh, and one more thing he told me, he said that between all of them, they couldn't complain. And I thought it was so beautiful because in her every day we complain so much about dumb things that if you use that energy to complain, you're going another way. It's the wrong way to go. And he said that during the snow, it was no complaining, Loving each other, seeing one good thing and knowing that nobody told him that it was impossible to survive. So in your everyday, I feel like what he said is like nobody can tell you you're not capable of doing something. See one beautiful thing every single day and do not complain.
A
That's a great story. That's a great experience. You said we can watch the. Is it a movie or a dog?
B
Yeah, it's a movie. It's called the Society of Snow. Oh, it's on Netflix. It's fantastic. And the scenes are so it's true, obviously. So once you see that, oh my gosh, you see like how, how did they actually survive? But that's the thing. I feel like those, those type of situations when people go through that. It was just like the Hudson river crash. And I heard this beautiful story that said one engine is out, the other one is out as well. This guy goes, I realized in that moment when the plane was crashing that I haven't loved my wife enough that I didn't have spend time with my friends. All these things that you are waiting to do someday, right? And that side, we, we have our planes crashing every single day. Sometimes we feel like we're down and under, but that's the moment of wake up call. That's the moment when you take a deep breath. I, I like myself when I'm feeling down, doing the 10 second rule. And it's just counting myself. 10, 9, 8. Even like rockets, they count backwards because they're gonna go up. So I feel myself like that even when I don't feel like I count myself. 10, nine, eight, seven. And once I'm one, I'm up and I'm doing. So it's little rules here and that I place myself and nobody taught me. Another thing I like to call is the rule of nines. So people who like productivity tips. I put like a TikTok board and it's like nine squares. And if you just put nine squares throughout your day or throughout your week and you cross them, the mind loves completion. So if you cross it out physically, I love tech, but I like some things physically. If you cross it out and post it notes and just cross it out, your brain loves completion and you feel like you're advancing more than. If you think that your brain can hold everything together, it can. But once you feel completion, it's fantastic. So certain things that I've learned, it's like when, when you're in school and they put a happy, A happy face sticker and you're like, yay. And you're happy. When we're adults, we don't have that. So we have to give that to ourselves and we have to give the grace of us trying. Nobody gave us the blueprint of life. I think that people made us believe that we have another day, that we have more time. Time to love, time to forgive, more time to try that thing that we want to start. But life, life is moments. And we think that we own those moments, but we don't. And that's why we have to make the most of it. And at the end of the day, when our time comes, I don't want to be able to say, I wish I had. Because when the time comes, I want to say, I tried, I loved, I did it my way. And the invisible footprint that you're leaving in someone else's life, that's what matters. I heard the other day that when you die, men especially get their first set of roses or a bouquet of flowers. And that was beautiful in a way, because why do we say all these things when people die? Why do we handle a set of flowers when we can do it when we're alive? They said that two times that people are gathered in your life. All the important people in your life are either at your wedding or at your funeral, right? And I thought that is sad in a way, because real life, real life is trying, real life is failing. I don't believe in failure. It's just data, but let's call it failure. I believe in the power that we have as humans to grab each other's hands and be better. Right now, in this time of our lives, we see more division than ever. And we see division because we don't understand. And when we don't understand something, it's easier to criticize, it's easier to hate. And nowadays, with the media, with the world and what's going on, I believe in unity. I believe that we're separated by things that should never be separated. And I love that if we can get the message of just unity, that we're all humans under this skin. We are all bones, we are the same. And I believe as humans, we can give each other the hand of love and the power of sincerity and the power of, you know what? I can help you. And if you need someone, I will call you and check in on your friends. There's so much loneliness. It's a new epidemic. It's a new pandemic. Loneliness. And especially with economic situation, as well as, like, people are not being able to have kids. And now I work in the political space as well. And when you ask someone, oh, we're not having babies, it's not because they don't want to, because maybe, you know, they can't afford people who are lonely because they got divorced or then depression. And I do believe that now, especially now, we can come together as humans. Not as political parties, not as race, not as nations, but as humans. The other day I was sitting at a table where there were Christians, where they were Jews, where they were each one of literally Arabs. It was beautiful. And I told him that you realize there's one of each religion and we can all talk because we can all listen to each other and then it's beautiful. But now that I've been moving around in Ubers, the other day my Uber driver asked me about my religion. He was Muslim, and I asked him about his. And as soon as I got off the Uber, he said, inshallah, ma', am, I hope your day is beautiful. And I thought it was beautiful that he was praying in his culture and his. And it's beautiful. And I told him, God bless you. So the moment that we understand each other as humans, not as political parties, not as anything else that the media can portray and we just see each other as human beings, I think that the moment that we're sitting in the table, it's a table that should be everywhere and around the world. It's because you listen, because you understand. So the moment you start listening to more people, you understand more and getting your own opinion.
A
The future won't wait and neither should you. That's why American Public University offers master's programs designed for momentum, affordable, high quality and flexible. So you keep moving forward with career relevant programs in business, healthcare, education, it and more. You can gain skills you can use right away and the confidence to power your next move. American Public University made for what's next. Learn more at apu. Apus. Edu. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Summer can sometimes feel like pressure disguised as far as there's this expectation to do more, see more people, plan more trips and make every moment count. And before you know it, you're exhausted instead of actually enjoying the season. That's why I think having support during busy seasons matters so much. Therapy can help you better understand your needs, set healthier boundaries, and create a version of summer that feels good for you instead of overwhelming. And that's what I appreciate about better health help. It's how simple and accessible they've made therapy. With over 30,000 therapists and more than 6 million people served globally, they've helped so many people find support that fits into their lives. They also match you with a therapist based on a questionnaire. And if it's not the right fit, you can switch anytime. You don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy, Sign up and get 10% off@betterhelp.com that's better. H E L P.com Jaystop3 Summer is all about freedom and your jewelry should reflect that. Pandora's Jewelry new summer collection captures that sun kissed metals, organic pearls and engravable pieces that feel personal and easy to wear. Shop in store or online@pandora.net and let your summer unfold. It's so interesting now because I feel like we're listening to more people than ever before, but we're not hearing them exactly right. We're not actually hearing them because there's so much noise. And today we have access to more cultures, more countries, more opinions than ever before. But no one's actually hearing anyone anymore because you're just filtering it through your
B
own lens because you feel that your opinion is so set in stone that it becomes your identity.
A
Yeah, absolutely. It's because we'd rather be right than have peace.
B
Exactly. Yeah, 100%. That's why when you listen to someone, truly listen what you just said is that I feel like more and more today with politics all around the world, is that you feel that that's your identity and that's not your identity. And once you understand more about situations and we have more people talking about free press, let's say more, more information, different ways that you can get your information, you can understand that. But any political party cannot be your identity. Your identity is something completely different. It's who you are on your everyday, who you're becoming for a better person. And the other day I found this beautiful story that I told that there are three genies and they decided where to hide happiness from humans. And the one genie goes, you know what? Let's hide it at the bottom of the ocean. And the other goes, you know what? No, they're gonna build a submarine. They're gonna find it. Yeah, you're right. The other one says, let's put at the top of the mountain. He says, no, they're gonna learn and put equipment, they're gonna climb and find it. And the last genie says, why don't we hide it inside them? They were never gonna dare to find it there. And I thought it's so funny because it's true. Because we're seeking happiness externally and we've been taught that because since we're little, if it's not an applause, it's not valid when people say, let's take a picture and post it, because if not, it didn't happen. You know what I love when I take a picture that I'm never gonna pose because it made me happy.
A
It's the best.
B
It's the moment that you understand. It was for you. The other day my, my partner took a picture of me and I'm like, oh, my gosh, I look horrible. He's like, no, to me, you look beautiful. No. And I want to remember this moment. And it's about moments. It's not about externally. So when this story about the genies just remind me of it's true. Happiness is inside you. The purpose is inside you. It never left you. Just let it rotten based on someone else's opinions and because they didn't clap for you. So the purpose never left. The other day someone told me I fell out of my purpose. I lost my purpose. I'm like, no, no. Your purpose is inside you. It never left you. You just let outside opinion dictate your decisions.
A
Yeah. It's when you feel disconnected from yourself. You stop listening to yourself. That you get distracted by other people's opinion is when you think you've lost your purpose.
B
100 coral.
A
I wanted to switch into a bit of entrepreneurship and I want to do this segment with you called this or that.
B
Okay. I love it.
A
And so I'm going to ask you this or that and you're going to tell me which one and then why.
B
Love it.
A
And we're going through quite a few. So the first one is, do you believe in discipline or motivation?
B
Oh, discipline. 100%. Motivation fades. Motivation fades when everyone's. I'm so motivated. That happens a lot. I was super motivated in January to start gym. Went twice. Motivation diet. I'm out right when people say I'm motivated to start a new diet. But I'm going to start on Monday. Why Monday? Why can't you just start Thursday? Because as humans, we just decided that Monday was it or January was it. But now. Oh, what? What is it? Oh, we're halfway through our week and it's almost. So that means we're halfway through the year. And that means, you know what? I'm gonna start next year. We're too late. No. Motivation fades. Discipline. Discipline makes you wake up the days you don't want to. Discipline makes you want. On a rainy day. Discipline means you're up until 5am and you haven't slept and you haven't had any food and you're still going because you have to finish the task. Discipline. 100%. Olympic athletes, you know, and you probably talk to so many and it's discipline.
A
Yeah, I agree.
B
They don't. They don't want to go and swim on. Minus is 2 degrees and train for the Olympics. It's. And it's gonna hurt. And that's the same thing with entrepreneurship. It's gonna Hurt. It's not the same physical pain as an athlete, but it's different kind of pain. When you're an entrepreneur, not gonna pay yourself at first a salary, you're gonna pay your team first, or you're gonna have noodles and pasta for the next year because you can't afford a lot of things. It's a different kind of pain, but it's discipline. And if you stick to it, it's. It's just like when people post the first time they open an Instagram account. They post once, they post twice. Like, it's not working. Like, discipline, discipline. You're gonna get there, you're gonna learn. My first video sucked. My first videos got like 50 likes. No, no. My first videos got my mom, my dad likes, and probably someone else account that followed that day. It was a bot. Right. But then it just grows. And you. You learn from that. It's not immediate. So discipline.
A
Discipline. Okay. Discipline over motivation. Ideas or execution?
B
I feel like both. Because you have to have a strong idea of what you want to do and not change 10,000 times the idea. Because sometimes the idea is good, but you have to execute it and change sometimes a lot of things for that idea to work. Because sometimes we think we know the industry we're getting to, but we actually don't until we're there. And we have to do a lot of different things. Like the path to get there, it's visual and strong. So when people say that idea is bad, it's not bad. You just haven't tried one thing for a long time to see if it's working. So you try five different variables and you don't know which one's working and you think like, it's not working. No, just one thing at a time. I feel like at the same time, a lot of people have great ideas, but they just don't stick to it for a long period of time.
A
That's why I'm an execution over ideas person. I feel like I've seen the worst ideas become really successful because someone executed really well on it.
B
You see liquid death, right?
A
Yeah, yeah. Water.
B
Like water making it water bad.
A
It's just water.
B
Brilliant. Just how they do it. The market saturated that we just talked about. It is not saturated.
A
Totally. Yeah. I mean, I was told podcasting was saturated seven years ago when there were 700,000 podcasts. Today there's two and a half million podcasts.
B
There you go.
A
So I fully agree with you. Last one of these. Intuition or data?
B
So I feel like intuition is data.
A
Talk to me.
B
About it. Intuition. What is the actual meaning of intuition? And for me, intuition is just a lot of things that you've lived, which is data, which is giving you a sense that we don't know how to explain. Did you know that when you're a baby, the first organ that is born is your stomach? So when you feel intuition and say I feel it, I feel it is because technically it started there. So intuition for me is just data that you've lived in order for not to make a mistake or in order to make a good decision. So in my case, a lot of the times when I started in my career being a woman, Young, at 18, managed a political campaign on social media when social media wasn't a thing, it was kind of like, who is she? She's young, she doesn't have a degree, she didn't have the thing. Right. But then as I started moving, I've worked with soccer, which is fully male dominated. Tech is a space that has now more and more women. But when I started, it was me. Well, until now I feel like I work with 100% men on my meetings, on everything. And it's just a matter of like getting into an industry where you have to believe in yourself so much that you're not drawn apart. So when people give me excuses about I'm too young or I'm this and that or that, there's no excuse anymore. The path and the information has now been open to so much, to so many people. I feel it before, if it was set on a book, it was set on stone. Yeah, Google came. If Google said must been right, then Alexa came. If Alexa said it beautiful, if Siri came, it must have been true. And now we have ChatGPT. If ChatGPT said the information has been out there all along. I started coding when there was no chatgpt to help me to code. Had to go and read, actually read and go to articles and blogs and stuff online to try to understand. So if you really want it nowadays place, you can do it like anything as entrepreneur. So it's just intuition for me is a must because it's just backend by the data that you've lived.
A
Because you do so much of this in your professional life, you're guiding people in their presidential campaigns, you're guiding Fortune 500 CEOs when it comes to their social media strategy, their digital strategy. If someone right now wants to start building a social media following, what are the first three things that they should do?
B
First things, go and search your competitors. You know what I Love to do. I love to go to Google and find not the five stars, but the three stars, because the three stars are giving you a path of where it was almost good but not terrible. And that's your gap. So go to Google, search your competitors, go to Instagram. And on Instagram, I would go even to your page when I started, and I wanted to see what people liked. It's not gonna be the same from you and me because I'm gonna do something totally different. So people are like, oh, she's copying, or you're copying. No, nobody's copying anything because warm water is already there. It's been created. Right. But go to your competitors. The first time I started my first account on E Commerce, I would go to Google, I would see the three star reviews, and then I would go to all the people that I commented. I would go and find them on social media or go to their social media page and literally invite them to go see my page. So when people are like, oh, it's not working. Nobody's following me, I'm like, but have you done the work? It's not easy at first, especially if you're a solo entrepreneur. So first, definitely go and stalk.
A
Step one. Yeah.
B
Your algorithm is showing you about your same thing over and over again. So you're saturated. That's the way to go. So you, not intentionally, but intentionally your subconscious tries to copy that. That, and you turn out to be something that you're not because you're copying that. Right. The biggest idea that I've gotten for other people's brands or strategies I've done have come. If I'm looking into soap, I would go to nail polish because I would get ideas from there. And then we were apply it here. So try to make your algorithm show you something else that's not in your industry because you're saturated with that, that you think that's the path to go. And if that's not the path to go, it's done. Force your algorithm to show you different things. And third, be patient, because on social media today, there's no saturation. I started eight months ago and built a huge platform. It's so funny because it's like the Mandela effect. Have people talk to me and say, I've been following you for years and I've been eight months on social media. Right. So it's just the effect that they saw me so many times that they think they've seen me there. But that's the thing. My paths, it can be different from you. And if you're patient. And if you don't have a rush and if you truly believe in yourself and your idea, you're gonna get there. So it's just a lot of patience. Anything in life is patience. Nothing happens in the blink of an eye. It's like just getting your body toned. Like, if you wanna go on YouTube and put how to get abs in seven days. And there are a lot of those videos, you're not gonna get them right. The muscle builds and the muscle of resilience in business, it's hard, it's tough, but you build a muscle, you build resilience, you build character. And for me, character is something so important because today we hear a lot of people talking about success, but it truly is. Success is who you are, who you're living with and the values that you're leaving people with. And in your business, if you're a business owner, always ABCs. The ABCs is always be communicating. And I love that because if you are communicating with your team, if you're communicating in love, nothing can go wrong. I feel like one of the most important things as humans is the lack of communication. Because when there's lack of communication, bad things happen everywhere. It doesn't matter what happens, it's just. It just goes bad. I had one time, one of my team had a bad communication with a business that we were doing, and instead of putting a zero, they added another zero and sent the wire. So I was like, oh, that's beautiful. Okay, what we're gonna do about it? It was a lack of communication between teams. So it's just a matter of like, communicating and love the same thing. Once communication ends, love ends. That's something I like to talk about is becoming an entrepreneur is who you're with romantically. It's very important.
A
Interesting. Tell me about that.
B
Who you have next to you can definitely define you. Because I've seen a lot of very talented people that can't go past that because of the person who have next to it, because they make them feel stuck. If you are a woman, get into business. I felt like you have to have someone that is not afraid of you being more than them. Maybe because there's certain stigmas in this life that the man was the one that provided man was. And now we see more and more entrepreneurs, more women who are super powerful by themselves. Right now I have like the most beautiful relationship. Right. And I see the difference from others because he is happy by my success. He's happy to, you know, help me in the ways that he can to make me succeed. Right, right. I have close friends who have partners who don't make it easy for them. I feel like when you're an entrepreneur, you're marrying the vision. You're not marrying the person. You are marrying late nights. You are marrying an idea that the other person cannot see but has to trust you. And when you understand that, everything changes. Because when you marry an entrepreneur, you're marrying uncertainty. You're marrying late nights, you're marrying those things that having a 9 to 5 might not give you because that's more stability. Right. But in an entrepreneur. Ooh, Baron entrepreneur is just marrying an idea that might change 10 times and you have to be good with it. It might mean that they're gonna miss birthdays.
A
Yeah.
B
It might mean that they're in their phone all the time. It might mean that, you know, you are on dinner and you have to leave to take the call. And you have to be okay with that because you're marrying that person or you're dating that person.
A
Yeah.
B
So I feel like who you are with in this lifetime can either make or break you. And it's just not about being comfortable with the idea because somet like I'm comfortable then, so I'm staying. Life is not meant to be comfortable. Life is meant to be uncomfortable. I never want to be comfortable. The other day they asked me in an interview and they said, but why do you want more? I don't want more because it comes to monetary, because I want more money. It's because I know that I'm not finished being the woman I want to become. And when you're becoming, that means you're uncomfortable. And for example, you right now entering a new space, it's uncomfortable at times because it's more work and it's more things and you have a big.
A
That's why I take it on.
B
That's why you take it on.
A
That's why we take it on.
B
But I could never envision myself being so comfortable that I'm on a Tuesday night, I'm like, okay, now what? No, I want more because life is meant to be lived to the fullest, meant to be used so much that, you know, I wake up every day. I came here and I was so excited about this because you know what, Once you start living, I feel like in our industry and you get to enjoy all these cool places and dinners and events. I remember the first time I got invited to the American music awards after party and it was a chainsawkers afterparty and I did not know Anyone at the industry. And my friend Jason Richmond, he was at the time the vice president of Paramount Pictures, and I met him there. And we were sitting at this, like, fireplace, and he goes like, oh, it's so cold. And he goes. And we go, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's, what do you do? And I'm like, oh, I'm an influencer. I'm a blogger. He's like, oh, that's so cool. Can you come to my office? To Paramount? I'm interested in what we can do together, you know, Like, I was uncomfortable at that point because they were all celebrities. I remember, like, One Direction was there. Like, Hailee Seinfeld. Like, it was so many people. I did not feel comfortable. I'm like, what can I talk to these people about? Like, who am I? The imposter syndrome. And imposter syndrome, at the end of the day is just you're getting to a new level that you're not familiar with. It's like getting to an airport where you already know the gate and you already know where you're gonna have lunch or, you know, all these things, and you go to the airport and you feel. Feel at ease. But when you're landing to a new airport, you do not know. You're kind of like, oh, wait, wait, where is the gate? That's kind of what, Imposter syndrome.
A
That's a great analogy. I like that.
B
Feels like it's just another place. So at that time, I remember I was sitting down at this after party, and I started talking to this guy who I did not know who he was. So I go like, oh, and what do you do? And he's like, I sing like, oh, that's so cool. And then my friend goes like, oh, you're talking to Post Malone. I'm like, ooh, I did not know how he looks like, you know, and it's just this really cool things when I met Daddy Yankee as well, and I'm like, okay, where's. Where's the guy? He's like, that's the guy. I'm like, oh, that's the guy. You know? So it's just moments that you're uncomfortable and you have to be yourself, and you have to be open up the possibilities of what life can bring to you. And at this point, I remember in my career, I got to meet so amazing and talented people, and a lot of times you just see they're humans. When. When you see every single person, social media, and you see a number is just. Just a number. I'm a human You're a human. Everyone, this room, we're just normal people. We all have problems. The only thing that we have different is that we dare to believe in ourselves so much that people believed in us and gave us a follow. I wouldn't be here sitting if people weren't following me. You weren't me sitting and giving me the interview. People who didn't believe in you. So it's just a matter of like don't believe in the imposter syndrome. Don't believe it. It's not real. It's just believe in the thing that I just said. Somewhere you've not been yet, which I love the word yet. You're not successful yet. You are not there yet. It's just yet. And I have been doing this movement, I've been going around. We brought it to so many countries. It's 122 countries we brought it to. And it's the I still build movement. And I'm launching my book next year. So I'm going to be definitely launching it with you. But it's the ISIL built movement is that we're all builders in either way or not. We are building something. And I love to do this. Every time I go somewhere and to a different country, I love to do this part where I put on the screen and I'm like, when fear takes over me and it tells you I'm not enough, what do you say? And people go around and say, I still build when and I still doing all these things and people go like, I still build. And you just start believing, I'm a builder, you're a builder. We're all builders and we're building different lives. Someone is becoming a mother full time. That's beautiful. You're building a home. You're building an idea from scratch. It doesn't exist. You're a builder. You're building a life alongside someone that you're going to spend the rest of your life. You're a builder, builder. You're building an idea that might exist and you want to tweak it a little bit. That's awesome. You're a builder. And in this stage of life we just see that we're like I said, in the same boat in different destinations. We all have problems, we all have crisis in life. And I understood the power of time with this because my dad, I'm an only child. My parents have been. They are my life, they are my greatest support. But. But you know what? It's something that I understood that they always believed in me. I always Saw them as builders because they build their businesses from scratch. I always knew what a real entrepreneurship entrepreneur looks like, because when I was young, I would go to the office on a Saturday because they were building, right? And my grandma always told me something is, you can do it. And I remember this, you can do it. Because there was like a little thing in my bed, and she would hold my hand and she would let go, and she's like, you can cross, you can do it. And it's the same thing. The most beautiful thing that you can do in life is believe in yourself. So much of what you're building, building. It doesn't matter what it is, but it's just believing in what you're building. And in this moment of you can do it. Sometimes I do what is called the power pose. In the power pose, I heard this article about this neurosurgeon who stood up that he was gonna do operate in this little girl's brain. She was three years old. And as a neurosurgeon, he said that if he had had like a tiny mistake, the girl would basically be brain dead. So he said that it was like a 16, 17 hour surgery. And he would go in front of a mirror before it, and he did the power pose, right? And after I heard that, I always do the power pose. So what is the power pose? You stand in front of a mirror, you put your arms like superman and you lock yourself. You see yourself.
A
Yeah.
B
And you see who you really are. You're like, you know what? Let's do this. Bring it. They tell me I can't. Watch me. You think, I cannot do it. Watch me. And I love that. Because once you understand the power that is inside you, nothing can break you.
A
Yeah.
B
And seeing yourself in the mirror is something that I always ask, how many times do you talk to yourself? Like, no, I talk to myself. And I'm like, no, you are thinking, you're having thoughts. And there was a harvest study that said that 78% of thoughts are negative on a daily basis. So when I heard that, I'm like, you're not talking to yourself. You are listening to your thoughts in mute. But what if I told you that you stand in front of a mirror and you say, you know what, Coral? Gonna have a beautiful day. You're so powerful, you're so capable. You're breathing. You get one more chance, and you put yourself in power pose and you see yourself. You see the power inside you. No one that you admire has something different than you. They just believe in their self so much that once you stand in front of the mirror and you do the talk to yourself and you do this, ooh, life becomes so beautiful. Oh, I love it.
A
I mean I can definitely say that before I go on stage, there's rarely a mirror there because I'm backstage. But whenever I go on before stage, if I'm in power pose, it is so much more easier to go out there and own the stage than it is when you're like just sitting there thinking about stuff, whatever it may be. And I love the distinction you made between the thoughts and the mind. That's not talking to yourself, that's just hearing. And the big one that I took away there. My favorite type of people are over Communicators Foreign. The future won't wait and neither should you. That's why American Public University offers Master's programs designed for momentum, affordable, high quality and flexible. So you keep moving forward. With career relevant programs in business, healthcare, education, IT and more. You can gain skills you can use right away and the confidence to power your next move. American Public University made for what's next. Learn more at apu Apus Edu Summer is all about freedom and your jewelry should reflect that. Pandora's Jewelry New Summer collection captures that sun kissed metals, organic pearls and engravable pieces that feel personal and easy to wear. Shop in store or online@pandora.net and let your summer unfold. I used to think building a business meant doing everything on your own. But building Joony taught me something different. Shopify is the platform we use to run and grow the business. And one of the things I love most is Sidekick, Shopify's AI Co Founder. It's like having a business partner who never sleeps. Sidekick handles the hard stuff. Website optimization, analyzing sales trends, updating product skus, creating discounts, even helping write copy and set up promotions. So instead of getting stuck in the details, I get to focus on the bigger picture. How we grow Joony, how we connect with our community, and how we keep creating new experiences. Shopify's AI tools are a total game changer. Sidekick literally helps with reports, marketing ideas, analytics, everything that used to slow me down so I can spend time on what I love. The creativity, the growth, the impact. If you ever thought about starting a business, this is your sign. Get started today@shopify.com Jay. This is how I think about a relationship. You're in one place, your partner's in another place and you're driving to the same party tonight and your partner leaves a bit earlier than you. You leave a bit Later. But you call them up and say, hey, I'm running a bit late. Hey, can you wait for me outside? And your partner says, yeah, yeah, sure, sure, I'll wait for you outside. That's cool. What time are you going to get there? You're like, I think I'm going to get there. 20 minutes after you get there, they go, great, fine, come at 20 minutes after. They're waiting there, you're on the way. You get stuck in a bit of traffic, you go, hey, Look, I'm still 10 minutes behind. I'll be there in 30 minutes. Why don't you go inside? Your partner says, I thought you wanted me to wait. You go, no, no, no, it's okay, it's okay. You just go inside. You know, I'm going to be a bit later. You get there, 30 minutes later, you walk in. The relationship wasn't getting there at the same time. It wasn't that you were moving at the same pace. It's that you were in constant conversation and communication and connection about where you were. And I think that's the communication that's lost.
B
And I love that you're posting on your social media those things that I did one similar, but it was about traffic and like one is having a baby, one just divorced, one is having all situations in life. And I feel like that is social media. We just see a tiny one window. We don't see the full picture. And that's when we communicate each other and we talk to your partner, you talk to your friends, you say like, oh, we're not so behind. Oh, it's not that perfect. I'm like, when it comes to my social media, I wanted people to leave with a message. Not with what I have, not with where I live, not, not with anything at all. Because my life is not perfect at all. I understood the power of time and live. When my dad got cancer and he got diagnosed and. And there was a moment in life where he's wonderful now, thank God, but he got into an exam and he got sepsis from it. And he was in intensive care for a long time. And I understood the power of time, of the things that I wanted to do. I'm like, I want to do everything now. And it's the bobbins when you understand all these things, right? As an only child, I feel like when they ask you, how is it to be an only child? Was it tough when you were a kid? No, it's when you are an adult and you realize that everything is up to you. So it's just a matter of, like, how you can communicate. Everything is about communication. Communicate about the beautiful things you can tell a person. Why wait? If you are in love with someone, say it. Even if you're afraid. Have you heard that Grey's Anatomy line? No. No. It's beautiful. It's like Eric Sloan that just passed away. He has this beautiful line where he says, say it. If you're in love with someone, say it. Even if it hurts in your bones, even if you're afraid, even if it's not the result that you want to hear here, say it. And I feel like that's life. Go for it. Dare to say it. In a meeting, I heard this amazing story about the guy that invented vitamin water. And he went to Coca Cola and basically said, I have the next IT product. And he literally sold the idea of having, like, water with flavors. And he got pay off like 4 billion, I think, if I'm not wrong. So it's just a matter of, like, going, communicating. Dare to do it. The worst thing that can happen, isn't it? And that's fine, you know, but it's just a matter of believing. Communicate yourself. Say that you love. Say what you don't like as well. Because in the best communications is saying the uncomfortable things. Yeah, people don't want to hear uncomfortable things, but it's what makes you grow in a company. When people have to come and say the things that you've been doing wrong. Nobody wants to hear that. It's going to make you grow or it's going to make you bankrupt if you don't hear that right. So it's just a matter of communication. Live is all about communicating in every aspect of it.
A
Well said, Carl. I want to thank you first of all for traveling 30 hours to be here. This is the dedication. I wanted to point it out because you've been talking about dedication, you've been talking about discipline, you've been talking about putting in the work, talked about overnight success. For you to travel 30 hours to be here, to be on the show, I think that is the longest anyone has ever traveled to be on the show. So I want to honor you for that. I want to thank you for that. Be so grateful for that. And we end every episode of On Purpose with a final five. These questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum. So, Carl Santoro, these are your final five, brought to you by State Farm. Question number one. What is the best advice you've ever heard or received?
B
So I think there's a quote I really, like, and it's a winner is just a loser who tried one more time. So I don't stop at failure.
A
I love that. Great advice. Question number two. What is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?
B
Follow your purpose. Because, well, at the end of the day, a lot of people just say, like, follow your purpose. But purpose comes with a lot of dedication. So I feel like that's incomplete advice. So just say, follow your purpose, but know that it's not gonna be easy. And that's the thing. Just purpose sometimes is not enough.
A
Absolutely. Question number three. When do you know that a relationship is over?
B
I think a relationship is over when the admiration dies. You have to admire your partner. Partner for the good and the worse. You know, I was just talking to my friend who's in the studio with me, but it's a matter of, like, when you get married and they ask you, and good or in bad and sick doesn't help. That's supreme. Saying, like, the cute version. But what if I told you and I heard this the other day, it's like, what if they amputate three of your of your members? Would you still love her? It's like, ooh, it makes you think, what if we bankrupt and we have to start over? I just heard Ian. Somehow they're talking about Nikki Reed and that they were eight figures in debt and how they pull through that, that's not easy. Financial debt is not easy, but just a matter of admiration. If you admire your partner and that dies, I think it's over.
A
Question number four. How do you define a good friend?
B
I feel like a good friend is always happy for your success. I have a group chat with two of my friends, and before I got here, one is in Shanghai, one is in Buenos Aires, and they all woke up at the same time to see me get ready in my makeup. And for me, they were happy for my success. So if your friend is happy for you, you have a good friend because they're not jealous of you and they're not afraid of your success.
A
Fifth and final question. We ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
B
Respect. If you respect each other, that's it. You don't need anything else. Respect means that you have heard one another's opinion. Respect means that you respect their time. I respect so much people's time because it means that you value their time as well as yours. Respect means that you can respect your partner because you respect that maybe they don't have a good day. And that doesn't mean that you know you've lost it all. Respect means that in your team, you respect them with who they are, with their ideas, with their values. So if there could be one thing, and I think the world would be better off with, is respect each other.
A
Carl Santoro thank you so much everyone who's been listening and watching. Wherever you are, whether you're at work, at home, please tag me and Carl on TikTok and Instagram with your best moments. The parts that you're gonna try and apply, the parts that you are going to try and live by, the parts that you're sharing with a coral. Thank you so much for coming on this show. Thank you so much.
B
Shay, it's been a pleasure.
A
I'm so, so thankful, truly grateful and it's wonderful to finally meet you. I'm wishing you all the best for your book.
B
God bless you all.
A
The success may come your way and continue to help so many people around the world.
B
Thank you so much.
A
Thank you so much.
B
It's been a pleasure and for everyone's listeners. God bless you. Keep believing in yourself. You are enough and I'll see you next time.
A
Thank you so much. Thank you everyone for watching. We'll see you soon. If you love this episode, you'll love my conversation with Airbnb founder Brian Chester on how to tap into your creative potential. And the number one thing people get wrong about success.
C
The best people in your life will
B
be people who see potential in you that you didn't see in yourself.
C
And I often wonder, a Better Help ad Summer can be a mix of things. For some, it's about travel, adventure and making memories. For others, juggling everything can feel overwhelming. Kids at home, packed schedules, shifting routines. It's easy to slip into survival mode and wonder where the days are going. Taking time for yourself can make a difference, and therapy can support that, helping you feel more confident, setting boundaries and making space to recharge so that summer feels more balanced and enjoyable. With BetterHelp, you can connect with a licensed therapist online. You'll be matched based on your needs and can switch anytime. It's not the right fit. With over 30,000 therapists and millions of clients worldwide, people are finding the support they need with better help. You don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find guidance in therapy. Visit betterhelp.com to get started. That's better. H E L p.com
A
Lately, I've been trying to be more intentional, even with small decisions like cooking at home instead of ordering out. It's simple, simple, but it helps me save for things that truly matter. That's why I love the State Farm Personal Price Plan. It lets you bundle home and auto insurance to create an affordable price that fits your needs. It's one of those thoughtful choices that support the life you're trying to build. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plan plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. There's nothing like escaping to your happy place, and Celebrity Cruises helps you do just that. From the Caribbean to Europe and Alaska, you'll eat in restaurants known for good taste. Enjoy all day date nights and dive into the best pool days around around. Celebrity Cruises doesn't just build ships, they build vacations you'll Never forget. Visit celebrity. Com, call 1-800-celebrity or contact your travel advisor. Ships Registry Malta and Ecuador this is an iHeart podcast.
B
Guaranteed Human.
Episode: Coral Santoro: The #1 Reason Most People Never Reach Their Goals (Use THIS 1% Rule to Keep Making Progress When Motivation Disappears)
Date: June 8, 2026
Host: Jay Shetty
Guest: Coral Santoro
In this insightful and empowering episode, Jay Shetty sits down with entrepreneur, tech innovator, and social media strategist Coral Santoro to unpack the fundamental reasons why most people fail to reach their goals—and how a simple "1% rule" can propel anyone forward, even when motivation runs dry. The conversation explores the dangers of comparison, the reality behind "overnight" success, the pitfalls of the passion movement, and the essential characteristics that separate the top 1% from everyone else. Coral shares generous personal stories, practical strategies for resilience and growth, and takes listeners through actionable advice on discipline, communication, and self-belief.
Comparing Yourself to Others: Coral emphasizes how social media distorts reality, creating an illusion of a finish line everyone is racing toward.
"Success does not have a finish line, so we can't compare something that does not exist." – Coral (06:24)
The False Timeline Trap: Instead of measuring yourself against other people’s curated highlights, focus on your unique journey.
“There is no race. Once you follow your own path, people may not understand, but that’s their insecurity, not yours.” – Coral (06:24–09:30)
Keep Going When it’s Not Exciting: The '1%' are those who keep working after the excitement fades, focusing on “the boring stuff” and sticking to the process.
“The 1% keep going even when it stops being exciting.” – Coral (11:16, 12:38)
Patience Over Passion: True success takes years of persistent effort.
“Overnight success exists—after you work 10 years with nobody watching.” – Coral (11:16)
Be Honest With Yourself: Sustainability requires seeing the path as flexible and the vision as stubborn.
Changing Circles: As you evolve, your friend group shifts organically.
“The people you do business with usually end up being your friends. The old circle just stays where they are—not because it’s wrong, but because their lives are different.” – Coral (32:47)
On Friendship and Envy: True friends are genuinely happy for your success.
“If there’s a slight chance of envy or jealousy, the friendship is gone because they are competing with you.” – Coral (27:59)
Communication is Key: Whether in business, romance, or friendships, over-communication prevents misunderstandings and builds trust.
“Always ABCs: Always Be Communicating. If you are communicating with love, nothing can go wrong.” – Coral (61:36)
Imposter Syndrome: It’s a sign you’re entering a new level; embrace it.
“The most beautiful thing in life is believe in yourself so much for what you’re building.” – Coral (68:23)
The Power Pose: Stand tall in front of a mirror, speak affirmations aloud, and claim your space.
Internal vs. External Validation: Real happiness and purpose are found inside, not in public applause.
"Happiness is inside you. The purpose is inside you. It never left you." – Coral (52:19)
Discipline Is Key: Motivation fades; discipline carries you through.
“Discipline makes you wake up on days you don’t want to. Olympic athletes, entrepreneurs, it’s discipline.” – Coral (53:24–54:15)
Execution Over Ideas: Good ideas are everywhere—execution makes them real.
“Who you are with in this lifetime can either make or break you.” – Coral (64:02)
Survival and Mindset: Coral shares the story of Andean plane crash survivors—no one told them it was impossible, so they survived. Focus on “one good thing every day.”
“Nobody told us it was impossible.” – Coral quoting a survivor (37:45)
Three Genies Story: Happiness is hidden within—not at the bottom of the sea, not atop a mountain, but inside ourselves. (50:56)
Jay Shetty and Coral Santoro deliver an inspiring, actionable conversation brimming with practical wisdom for entrepreneurs, creators, or anyone pursuing growth. From the dangers of chasing external validation to the essential role of resilience, discipline, and true communication, this episode is a masterclass in building true, lasting success—the kind that matters because of who you become, not what you collect. Coral’s authenticity, humility, and candor will leave listeners motivated to recommit to their goals, believe in themselves, and walk their path—one disciplined, purpose-filled step at a time.
For more motivational stories and actionable advice, follow Jay Shetty’s podcast and connect with Coral Santoro on social media.