Selena Gomez & Benny Blanco EXCLUSIVE: Their Love Story Like You’ve Never Heard Before

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Selena Gomez & Benny Blanco EXCLUSIVE: Their Love Story Like You’ve Never Heard Before"

Introduction

In this exclusive episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, host Jay Shetty delves deep into the intimate love story of acclaimed artist Benny Blanco and global superstar Selena Gomez. Released on March 24, 2025, this conversation offers listeners an unfiltered glimpse into their journey from professional collaborators to life partners. Avoiding the typical surface-level narratives, Shetty facilitates a heartfelt dialogue that uncovers the nuances of their relationship, the challenges they've overcome, and the profound connection that binds them.

The Beginning of Their Relationship

Their story begins with an orchestrated meeting arranged by Selena's mother when Selena was 16 and Benny was in his early twenties. Despite the significant age difference, their initial interactions were marked by honesty and authenticity.

• Benny Blanco [03:04]: "What I felt for Benny, it was everything about him was honest. He'd tell me anything that he's feeling made me feel like I could do the same."

Despite fitting into different stages of their lives, both matured individually, allowing their bond to grow organically over time.

Transitioning from Friendship to Romance

Initially, their interactions were purely professional, with Selena maintaining a cautious distance to protect herself in the limelight.

• Selena Gomez [10:23]: "I always wanted to make sure that I did protect myself. So to be honest, I didn't talk to him very often."

However, a pivotal moment occurred during a recording session where the game "We're Not Really Strangers" led to their first kiss, signaling a shift from friendship to something more profound.

• Benny Blanco [18:26]: "And then right after the selfie, we just kissed. And then, yeah, that's it. And then basically the rest was history."

This spontaneous moment ignited their romantic relationship, allowing them to recognize each other as soulmates.

Building Trust and Managing Long-Distance Challenges

As their careers progressed, Benny and Selena faced the inevitable challenges of a long-distance relationship, juggling hectic schedules and significant time apart.

• Selena Gomez [25:26]: "The biggest thing in the world is trust."

Their approach centered on unwavering trust and consistent communication, ensuring that distance did not erode their bond.

• Benny Blanco [25:26]: "I always believe that good things happen for a reason... If you're good to people, karmically, it's gonna come back to you ten times over."

The Proposal and Engagement

Their engagement was a blend of thoughtfulness and personalization, reflecting their deep understanding of each other’s preferences.

• Benny Blanco [33:22]: "She said it right when I gave it to her, she said, 'I love you.' And then I was like, please. I just wanted to wait till New York. So it's special."

• Selena Gomez [67:26]: "It was one of the best days of my life, for sure."

The proposal featured a meaningful surprise with Whataburger, a nod to Selena’s Texas roots, showcasing Benny's commitment to making the moment unforgettable.

Collaborating on Their Musical Journey

Their creative collaboration extends beyond their personal relationship, as they work together on an album that intertwines their lives and emotions.

• Selena Gomez [77:42]: "We were able to share things with each other... It was never criticizing. It was always coming from a really gentle place."

• Benny Blanco [79:03]: "It was like therapy. It was a safe place and like. It's crazy because we were able to talk about stuff that she would never talk about as an artist if it wasn't with her partner being next to her."

Recording together in the intimacy of their home allowed them to explore and express their vulnerabilities, strengthening their connection both personally and professionally.

Maintaining a Healthy Relationship Amidst Fame

Navigating the pressures of fame and public scrutiny, Benny and Selena emphasize the importance of maintaining authenticity and mutual support.

• Selena Gomez [39:40]: "He's the one person... I feel much safer doing that now. And I like it."

• Benny Blanco [40:39]: "I think it's cool to show your emotions... You're making other people feel good."

They advocate for kindness, open communication, and battling societal expectations to preserve their genuine selves within their relationship.

Handling Mental Health and Social Pressures

Both discuss the impact of social media and public perception on their mental health, highlighting strategies to cope with negative feedback and maintain a positive outlook.

• Selena Gomez [45:00]: "I think from my perspective, it's pretty wild... I just think it's made me a tad bitter."

• Benny Blanco [59:46]: "I just don't think I'm going to gain anything from it in that time. I could be looking at those comments, I could be hanging out with my friends..."

They emphasize trust, proactive communication, and focusing on personal growth as essential tools for navigating the complexities of their public lives.

Future Plans and Continuing Growth

Looking ahead, Benny and Selena express excitement about their future together, including potential marriage and more collaborative projects.

• Selena Gomez [75:51]: "Yes. He's done wonderful things... We have not even begun."

• Benny Blanco [85:42]: "Like, I think you just wanna change that the next time... because you're both, you know, on my list."

Their plans reflect a shared vision of continuous personal and professional development, grounded in their strong partnership.

Conclusion

Jay Shetty wraps up the episode by commending Benny and Selena for their openness and the depth of their relationship. The conversation not only illuminates their personal love story but also offers valuable insights into building trust, effective communication, and maintaining authenticity in relationships, especially under the spotlight of fame.

• Jay Shetty [103:37]: "You are truly two of the most special people. I'm so glad you found each other."

This episode serves as an inspiring testament to love's resilience and the power of genuine connection amidst life's myriad challenges.

Notable Quotes

• Benny Blanco [03:04]: "What I felt for Benny, it was everything about him was honest. He'd tell me anything that he's feeling made me feel like I could do the same."

• Selena Gomez [10:23]: "I always wanted to make sure that I did protect myself. So to be honest, I didn't talk to him very often."

• Jay Shetty [23:22]: "Don't we realize that the same people who are saying mental health matters are the same people that are pointing fingers at people that can affect people's mental health."

• Selena Gomez [25:26]: "The biggest thing in the world is trust."

• Benny Blanco [33:22]: "She said it right when I gave it to her, she said, 'I love you.' And then I was like, please. I just wanted to wait till New York. So it's special."

• Selena Gomez [39:40]: "He knows when I'm feeling a certain way and kind of before I can even let it get to a place where it's unbearable."

• Benny Blanco [40:39]: "I think it's cool to show your emotions. I think it's cool to tell the person, like, I call my mom and open and I tell her how beautiful she is, too."

• Selena Gomez [45:00]: "I don’t know what will happen obviously. Obviously. But I love children."

• Jay Shetty [103:37]: "You are truly two of the most special people. I'm so glad you found each other."

This comprehensive summary captures the essence of Benny Blanco and Selena Gomez's love story as discussed in the episode, highlighting their journey, values, and the lessons they've learned along the way.

Transcript

[Jay Shetty]

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[Selena Gomez]

I'm Selena. But we're watching Dancing Piano.

[Benny Blanco]

When you're a pop star like she is and you're a huge entity and people set up all these walls before and then the first second you like disarmed everybody. By the way, congratulations on your engagement.

[Jay Shetty]

When you first were meeting and recording together, there was a sense of you were protecting yourself. What gave you confidence to open up?

[Selena Gomez]

What I felt for Benny, it was everything about him was Honest, he'll tell me anything that he's feel made me feel like I could do the same.

[Benny Blanco]

If we would have met each other when we were younger, it would have never worked. We've both grown as individuals and met at the perfect time, and I believe life is like that.

[Selena Gomez]

When Benny looks at me, I don't think he sees anything but who I am. And that's very rare to find. But when you do know, it feels right.

[Jay Shetty]

You talk about being best friends so much. Was it scary thinking, what are we gonna lose if this gets Roman?

[Benny Blanco]

The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty.

[Jay Shetty]

The one, the only Jay Shetty.

[Selena Gomez]

Oh, my gosh. I'm so happy to be here.

[Jay Shetty]

You know I love you both.

[Selena Gomez]

I know. We love you.

[Jay Shetty]

It's such a fun, like, coming together when this. When you guys called me and said you wanted to do this, I was just like, how special is it that we first met now seven years ago, and then because of you, I got to meet this amazing man, and I feel like we've kicked off a bromance.

[Selena Gomez]

And that makes me happy.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. And because of you, I just feel like we've been spending so much time together, and so I'm so grateful to you both for trusting me. And over the years and the fact that you've been on, you've been on, and now we get both of you.

[Selena Gomez]

It'S like, thank you.

[Jay Shetty]

It's so special.

[Selena Gomez]

It's a very safe, cozy place.

[Jay Shetty]

Benny and Selena.

[Selena Gomez]

Hi.

[Jay Shetty]

Welcome back to On Purpose. For the first time together, I am so grateful to you. It's been a joy getting to know you both over the last few years, and I am so happy for you both.

[Selena Gomez]

Thank you.

[Jay Shetty]

Like, this is just so beautiful and special. And because of you, Selena, I got to know Benny so much more. And Benny and I have been hanging out, We've been meditating. We've been.

[Selena Gomez]

I love that.

[Jay Shetty]

Eating. We've been.

[Selena Gomez]

That makes me really happy.

[Jay Shetty]

But it's thanks to you. It's thanks to you for bringing us together. And I was just saying, as a man, it's so hard to make male friendships as you get older.

[Selena Gomez]

Really? Is that so?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

Well, it's just like, when you're an adult, it's like, I have my people, and that's like, what? I have to let a new person in. Like, you barely have time for your people that you have, so you're like, wait, in order to get a new person, I have to, like, move another person down the list to slot a New person in.

[Selena Gomez]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Benny Blanco]

Because there's not enough. Because there's not. You know, you start to get to an age, it's like, Larry David always says this. He says, I have friends that I'm not even friends with. I've just been friends with them for so long. I can't let them go because they're already built in. It's like a therapist. They already know everything. You can't teach a new person.

[Selena Gomez]

That's hilarious.

[Jay Shetty]

Selena disagrees.

[Selena Gomez]

It's not necessarily that I disagree. I. I guess I just always thought that guys have this immediate, like, what's up? And then they're just, like, in a flow. So I just. I don't know. I found that interesting.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah. I feel like you get guarded as you get older. A little bit. Sometimes I wish I weren't as wise, because when you. I'm not wise at all. But I'm saying, like, it's like when you listen to something. Like, for me, for music, I listened to things when I was, like, 18, and I was like, oh, my God. I didn't know any of the rules. I wasn't thinking of anything. It all comes so easily because you're not confined to, like, this box that you've put yourself in over the years. And then by the end, you're like, oh, you know, I'm 36, almost 37 now. I'm like, oh, I can't do that. And it's. It's like there's. There is some sort of freedom to being really young, too.

[Jay Shetty]

There definitely is. There definitely is. But I was. I was saying that watching both your love story, and I know you were saying Selena, two seconds ago, you're like, this is such a safe and cozy space to come to. I'm hoping that today we get to know your love story on a deeper level, and we get to access really what's in your hearts and minds. Because I think there's so many interviews and so many things that kind of will touch on the surface level of stuff, but I hope we can go deeper. So what I want to start with is I want to actually rewind, and I want to rewind to a place where we don't retell the story, but we get to relive your story with you. And I think there's a difference, because when we tell a story, it's like, this is what happened. But when we relive it, it's almost like going back to who we were when that happened. So I want to go back to the first time you ever met, and I want to hear about it.

[Selena Gomez]

Well, the funny thing is, is we actually. It was so long ago that we don't remember.

[Benny Blanco]

We know that her mother put us in a meeting together when.

[Jay Shetty]

How old were you?

[Selena Gomez]

16.

[Benny Blanco]

So she was 16.

[Jay Shetty]

Oh, I didn't realize it was that young.

[Benny Blanco]

And I'm like four or five years older than you, so I was probably 20, 21. And her mom was trying to get her into music. And her mom is amazing the way she goes from room to room, gets things.

[Jay Shetty]

We've had her on the show. Yeah, she's a powerhouse.

[Benny Blanco]

Gets things to happen. And, you know, and somehow she got us a meeting together, and we don't remember that. And, you know, after we had done songs together, there was one time where it was probably 2016 or 17 or something. I remember when you were in a studio, like Interscope Studios. And I remember I came. She doesn't remember it, but I remember I came in and I had this talk with you, and I remember being like, whoa, wow. Like, sin is really, like, a complex person, like, in a good way. And I was like, wow, she's. She's. She's so deep. And we had this conversation where I really. I was just really left by being like, oh, she's deep. And then we went and thought nothing more of it. And then when we did our song together, I remember leaving, not. Not feeling romantic at all. I just remember leaving, and I was talking, you know, because when you're a pop star, like, she is, and you're a huge entity, and. And. And you've done so many things in your life before, like, people set up all these walls before, so it's like you get like. Like, before I came in, they were like, well, you know, this thing's like this, and this is like this, and, like, she might not want to do this and, like, stuff. And they. They speak for people so much. And then I remember we were so. Me and the director were so nervous, and then the first second, you, like, disarmed everybody. And I remember walking back, and Jake was like. He's like, the guy who. Directing with me is like, this is gonna be so easy. What? They. They made it seem like she was. This is gonna be this crazy thing. And the warmth I felt from her in that moment. I remember leaving being like, wow, Selena's such a cool girl.

[Jay Shetty]

And Selena, you don't remember this at all?

[Benny Blanco]

No, no, she remembers that.

[Selena Gomez]

I remember the video part, but it was interesting because, yes, I don't have a very good memory, but I just remember the video shoot. I didn't see anything romantic, nor really felt that, but I had a really good time. And that was probably the first time. After years of doing music together and not together, that was the first time I really got to hang out with him. And it was fun. I had a good time, and that was that. And then how it kind of continued was I was always cautious because I always wanted to make sure that I did protect myself. So to be honest, I didn't talk to him very often.

[Benny Blanco]

I thought she hated.

[Jay Shetty]

Really. I really.

[Selena Gomez]

I knew that was coming.

[Benny Blanco]

I really did. I thought she didn't. Like, I would see her and I. And I'd be like, does she not like me?

[Selena Gomez]

Like.

[Benny Blanco]

And I. Like, we weren't thinking about anything. I was like, wow. She really, like, didn't talk to me a lot. And I was like. I thought I was being nice. And, like, my friends would be like, no, no. And then, like, there was another time, I remember, and my friends were like, oh, yeah. She was like, it's kind of weird.

[Selena Gomez]

And I was like, so sorry.

[Benny Blanco]

And there was, like, a few times, and I. And I didn't know. And I was just like, you know, I was like, that's okay.

[Selena Gomez]

I thought I was being, like, polite by not.

[Benny Blanco]

She didn't really engage.

[Selena Gomez]

Basically, we. I was working on some music, and we. We went through some of the demos that we had in. Single soon came up, which is ironic because it was actually nowhere near where I was in my personal life. But Benny happened to do the song.

[Jay Shetty]

No, no.

[Benny Blanco]

I didn't even do this. It was like, one of my guys.

[Selena Gomez]

Oh, and you came to fix it?

[Benny Blanco]

And I, like, came to help out because I was like, oh, I want their song to. I was like, I don't like the way this. Let me just at least help them. I said. I was like, well, I'm not sure if it'll be okay because I don't know if Selena likes me or something. And then John Janik, the. You know, the president of Interscope, he was like, well, why don't you just go into the session? She usually doesn't have people in, but just go in and, like, if there is something that you feel is weird, like, try to just smooth it over and talk to her and get in. And I said, okay, I'm gonna go smooth it over. So I went in. It was so funny. Right before I came, her engineer told me, like, later that she was like, oh, Benny's coming.

[Selena Gomez]

And she was like, and here's my reasoning. I'm gonna defend myself. I get very nervous around the producers, of course. It's just a very intimate thing for me. I feel like I need to sound a certain way or do whatever to make them happy. And when I get to record with just me and my engineer and maybe someone I trust, I get more out of the experience. So I just was thinking, okay, well, maybe he'll stay for 10 minutes and we'll just talk for a second. And 10 minutes turned into like 30. Then he went to the other room and I finished recording, and he stayed there. And then. Yeah, this is too long.

[Benny Blanco]

Okay, so here. So from my perspective, here's what happened. I get in there, I'm like. And I'm like, I gotta smooth this.

[Jay Shetty]

I love this back and forth.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I don't have this with anyone. Like, I was like, I want us to be chill. And obviously 99% of it was in my head. And I come in, we just start talking about life, and her anr is there, One of my friends is there. We're just. We're talking about life, and we start talking about dating. And I was like, yeah, you know, I went out on this date, blah, blah, blah. And then I. I was talking to her, and I said, oh, my God, I have so many good single guy friends. I was like, we have dinners at the house all the time. You should come over sometime. And I wasn't even thinking about anything. And we're, like, talking about, like, our ideal date and, like, this and that, and I wanted to make sure she did the line right. So I was like, oh, I'll stay there to, like, make sure it's good after. And then. So I did. We left. And then, yeah, I didn't have her cell phone number because I. She changed her number a bunch. So, like, I, like, asked someone, I said, hey, give me your cell phone number. I want to say, like, you know, thing. And I. I wrote. I was like, oh, my God, you were. And during that, I. When I was with her, I was like, oh, my God. I was like, not only. She's like, really cool. I was like, I want. I was like, I want to be like. I was like, I want her to be, like, in our friend group. And I couldn't even be thinking. I was like, I want her to be in our friend group, and I want to make sure this things smoothed out so the song figures out goes well and everything. So I said, let me just text her thank you or whatever. And I was like, you know, you were so sweet. Or something. Something like that. And then she writes back. I guess we just were texting throughout the day and she. She told me she looked back at our message. She said, somehow you started sending, like, selfies where you looked really bad on purpose. Like the worst ones in your.

[Selena Gomez]

Yes. Which, by the way, no girls should really. Or anyone in their right mind to someone they would have a crush on do that. But we were talking about ugly photos, like, because I always say I take the worst photo sometimes. And he's like, oh, you said something. And I sent him the worst pictures of me, like, in bed, sick. And then, you know, me at weird photo shoots. And now looking back on it, I'm. I'm just thinking that's. These are so weird. I don't know why.

[Benny Blanco]

Did you meet in that moment yet or not yet?

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

Oh, you did. Okay, so that's what I was trying to figure out. I had no idea. So I had no idea. And somehow we decide.

[Jay Shetty]

So wait, why did you do that? If you liked Benny, why were you sending.

[Selena Gomez]

Well, because I didn't know that it was going to be like, maybe I thought it was just going to be flirting and not really anything else.

[Jay Shetty]

Got it.

[Selena Gomez]

But I really started to just, I don't know, fall for it.

[Benny Blanco]

So I didn't know any of this. And then we decide. We're like. I forget how it happens, but we're like, yeah, let's hang out. And I was like, oh, my friend's having a birthday party tomorrow. I was like, just come along. And I was like, just thinking friend stuff. And then so she comes to mine, and I guess she thought the party was going to be at my house, but I was like, oh. In my head, I was like, oh, she'll just come over and we can just, like, grab a drink first and then go there. But, like, not thinking anything of it. I was like, we'll just, like, grab a drink at my friend's wine bar. It's on the way. And then we'll go there. You were there and. And we were sitting together. And she said something like, well, you know, because it's a date. I wore. Blah, blah. And I was like.

[Selena Gomez]

I was like, no, I said, if this was a date, I definitely would have dressed like a nicer. And he just kind of looked at me, and I thought we were on a date.

[Benny Blanco]

And I was like, we're on a date. And then. And then we went, and then we didn't really talk about.

[Jay Shetty]

You thought. Who thought it was a D. She.

[Benny Blanco]

Thought it was she thought it was a date.

[Selena Gomez]

I'm sorry. A nice man takes me out for a drink. I'm assuming it's a date.

[Benny Blanco]

I didn't know.

[Jay Shetty]

But no one had asked each other out yet.

[Benny Blanco]

No, it was like, let's just hang out, like. And then we go to my friends, we go to this Thai restaurant, We go to Jit Lada, and we're, like, hanging out, and there's a bunch of people there. And then she all of a sudden, like, leaves. And she was like, I gotta go to. I have a video shoot really early in the morning. And I was like, okay. And I was like. But I wasn't like. Cause it wasn't a date to me or anything. So I was like, okay, cool. And I stayed with my friends and stuff. And then she texted me after. And I remember you being like, that was like, one of the most fun times I've had in a really long time, Selena.

[Jay Shetty]

So you technically asked Benny out on the first official date.

[Benny Blanco]

She did. She did, like, every.

[Jay Shetty]

Walk us through. Walk us through. That confidence, that. That energy.

[Selena Gomez]

Because there was confidence. That's the scary part. I think that's when I recognized that I had some sort of feelings for him. Walking to his house or into his home to go to his friends thing, I was very nervous. And I'm not normally like that unless it's like an event or something where it could be overwhelming. But with anyone I talk to, I'm able to talk to people. And I feel like I'm good at it, but I just felt like all these feelings. And then when we went out, I was laughing, and I didn't feel like he wanted anything or there was weird motives. It's. It's sad that, you know, people have to think that way, but, I don't know, I felt this immediate safety. And I was very pleased that, I don't know, we were friends. And then I became, you know, the.

[Benny Blanco]

Next time we hung out, it was. It was. We just hung out at home and we just, like, we're chilling and we were playing that game. We're not really strangers, dude.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Yeah. That's a great game.

[Benny Blanco]

And my friend made that game.

[Jay Shetty]

Oh, wow.

[Benny Blanco]

And we were just playing it, and we both played it. And I was like, okay, sure, we can play it. And we played it, and there was, like, a card that said, like, take a selfie together. And we, like, took us out. She, like, screwed up. We took a selfie. And then right after the selfie, we just kissed. And then.

[Selena Gomez]

Oh, great.

[Benny Blanco]

No, that's It. And then she's very private. And then. And then basically the rest was history. And we started hanging out so much and it just, like, very quickly, I was like, oh, my God, my whole life, I was like, oh, this is. This is my person. Like, I'm going to marry this person. This is. Oh, this is the thing. This is what it feels like. It was so different than any of those feelings. And I was like, holy shit. I just. I met my best friend. This is my best friend. Nothing gets any better than this. It can't get better. There's no. This is my. This is, like, better than any friend I have that's a guy. And I get to kiss them. Like, it was like. It was insane to me. So I was like, I can't let this go. And it was so funny because before I met her, I. With my therapist, I had made a list saying, like, these are all the things I want.

[Jay Shetty]

I'm telling the list.

[Benny Blanco]

You want to know it?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, I want to know. Okay. Okay.

[Benny Blanco]

So before I met her, you know, I was guy in LA trying to find the one for me, and I was having some trouble and I think I was maybe not looking in all the right places. And I was like, okay, it's time to be a grownup. I want to start a life. I want to have a family. I want to find a person that is my other half that makes me feel better and I make them feel better. And it's a give and take. It's the perfect yin and yang. So I wrote down a list and the first thing on my list was age appropriate. Okay. So that was.

[Jay Shetty]

I love that.

[Selena Gomez]

That's great.

[Benny Blanco]

And it was 30 plus.

[Jay Shetty]

Okay.

[Benny Blanco]

So I was number one on my list.

[Jay Shetty]

Yes.

[Benny Blanco]

Not number one, but it was the first thing I wrote.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

And then the second thing I wrote was I said, I know these are so simple, but it's so hard to come by somebody who's kind, compassionate and caring. I was like, that's really three in one. But that was my. But I was like, I need someone who's like, nice. And is it like a genuine, nice person?

[Jay Shetty]

You said something really important. The reason I'm bringing it up is because I feel a lot of women, but a lot of people feel this way. And you said when you first were meeting and recording together, there was a sense of you were protecting yourself.

[Selena Gomez]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

And I think that's a very human thing and I think it's a very normal thing. And especially in this day and age, especially in your position to add to It. What was it that at one point you said, I'm gonna adopt at 35 if I don't find someone. Like, you had your whole life mapped out when you met Benny, but then. And you said you were protecting yourself, but then you started to open up. Could you walk us through what gave you confidence to open up, but what that feels like when you're trying to protect yourself? Because I think that's the push and pull that everyone's going through.

[Selena Gomez]

Well, I think, first of all, making plans and trying to stick to them is silly because you don't know what's going to happen. And I can't believe that I get to marry my best friend. So it. But, yes, I think for me, I was genuinely set. But it was once I let go of me just saying I want someone, and I wish I had this and I wish I had that. Instead, I changed my mind to, I'm so lucky that I get to wake up and my family's healthy, and I love spending time with my friends. And, you know, what if it doesn't happen? I know that I've always wanted to be a mom. And, you know, so of course I kind of planned that out. I think it was because when Benny looks at me, I don't think he. He sees anything but who I am, and that's very rare to find. He knows when I'm feeling a certain way and kind of before I can even let it get to a place where it's unbearable. He has already talked me through a spiral and protecting myself on multiple reasons. You know, doing. You know, doing music, working with someone that's kind of, you know, like, oh, I don't know if I should do that, but I genuinely just walked. It just happened. I think, when, you know, and, oh, that's so cheesy to say, but when you do know, it feels right. And I think that that's what happened to me, and I just felt very comfortable with it.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Benny, how do you feel that you almost sabotaged your relationship by nearly introducing Selena to your friends? How does that feel like when you're like, hey, wait a minute, come and meet my friends. There might be some nice guys for you to meet.

[Benny Blanco]

I feel like it all happens for a reason. I feel like maybe me doing that is what disarmed her enough to, like, you know, it's. We talked about this before. Like, if we would have met each other when we were younger, it would have never worked. It's like we've both grown as individuals and met at the perfect time. And I believe life is like that. And sometimes it doesn't make sense, and sometimes it's not the right reasons. And we're like, why is this happening? But I always believe that, you know, I don't know. I believe in fate. I believe in all that. And I believe, you know, if you're good to people, karmically, it's gonna come back to you ten times over. Maybe you might get in that moment and someone's gonna do you really dirty, but over a long period of time, I think things are gonna go your way.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Was it scary because you, you talk about being best friends so much. Was it scary thinking, what are we gonna lose if this gets romantic as friends?

[Benny Blanco]

No, no.

[Jay Shetty]

It happened right away.

[Benny Blanco]

It happened right away.

[Jay Shetty]

It happened quick enough.

[Benny Blanco]

This was all one day that was really happened within. And then, look, there was once we knew that we liked each other. There's that part where, like, you know, we're both extremely busy people. So it's like, it takes a second to where you fully prioritize, you know, because it's like at first you date someone, you say, okay, I'll see you this time once a week. And then it's like, oh, okay, this person's getting cool. We'll go twice. And it's like, wait, don't leave my house. I miss you. Like, it all happens so quickly.

[Jay Shetty]

One thing that you both did was you had a long distance relationship for a while. Like, you were in different states and managing that. You both have crazy work schedules. And I was thinking in your positions, it can get very easy to be like, oh, that person's never available. They canceled again. Like, well, they've got a million things, they're running away. I mean, you were just about to say, you both are starting to travel together right now for work as well. But how did you manage that? Because I think a lot of our viewers are like, do long distance relationships work? And do too busy people relationships work? How would you both say you've managed both of those parts?

[Selena Gomez]

Biggest thing in the world is trust. I can say with all my heart that I trust this person. So for me, knowing that I have a 12 to 14 hour day on set, I won't get to talk to him every second, which I don't need. But I know just hearing from him one time, check in with me and say, say I love you and I hope the day is going well. I just feel safe and I've never felt that before. And if you feel like you're in a situation that doesn't feel like you're a unit. That makes it scarier. And then that causes friction, then it causes trust issues. So for me, I would have to say communication and trust helps, but doesn't always work. It's hard.

[Benny Blanco]

I feel like at the beginning, there were a few almost. Almost sabotages. She didn't. Like, she was like, that's fair. At the very beginning, in, like, her first few trips away, she was still gaining that trust. So there was.

[Selena Gomez]

There were moments of sincere doubt.

[Benny Blanco]

No. Yeah, yeah. And we all have.

[Jay Shetty]

That's normal.

[Benny Blanco]

We all have moments in our life because, like, we're only made up. I tell everyone this. It's like when you. When you start dating someone, you're not only dating them, you're dating every single person they've ever dated, every single relationship they've ever had in their past, every. Because you're getting every piece of baggage that that person's carried and that what they've learned through their own personal life, through the life with partners, with their parents, with this, that. And I had to find a way to build that trust with her, not make it feel overbearing and make it feel real and make her actually believe it and vice versa. Like, I know that she fully tried. If I say, hey, I'm just going to do this today, there's nowhere in her mind that's thinking that. And if for any chance that she. I always told her, I said, it's okay if you have moments of doubt in something, in a feeling, always talk to me and I'll talk you through anything that you may have. You know, if you say, hey, I know this is a crazy thing. I just had a dream and I woke up from this dream and I was upset. Sometimes she'll just say, like, please tell me I can trust you, or, please tell me you're not doing anything stupid. And I say, you can call me anytime you want. And I'm aware of her strengths and I'm aware of her weaknesses. And what I try to do is surround her with a lot of things to help her. So if she's away and I have to go to a dinner, then a party, then this thing, then that thing. It's a simple text in between each things that says, hey, babe, I'm going to this next thing, I'm thinking about you. Hey, you know, you know where, where couples, where it starts to hit is when they miss that text, they don't call the person. They wait until the next day. Like, it's just like, I know what she needs to Succeed. So I'm gonna help her succeed. I'm not gonna be a dick. I'm not. Not gonna hit her up. And she doesn't need a lot. She's like the easiest person in the world, but I know, yeah, she wants to talk to me before she goes to bed. She wants me to say, I love you. She wants me to text her if I wind up having to stay somewhere two hours late. Just. Just a simple take out your phone and ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Done. And I know that. No, I know that stuff really helps, especially when you're long distance, because it's natural. You're far away from someone. You say, I'm not with this person. I'm not as connected to them. We're not meant to be far. You're not supposed to be long distance with your partner. Supposed to be right next to your partner. Like, it's like, we do things in life that we have to do, and we both are very focused on our careers and we're very driven. And you have to find a way to make it work that's comfortable. You have to talk to your partner. You have to understand them. I think people's biggest problems, especially men, are that we don't listen all the time. You gotta listen. Just shut the up and listen. Listen to what they're saying. A woman is gonna tell you exactly what she needs. Like when guys are like, I don't know what she wants. I don't know. She told you already. You're just an idiot. You're not listening. Just listen. A girl is. If a girl is getting frustrated with you on something, she's definitely told you multiple times and you're just not paying attention. So it's like, just listen and don't be reactionary. Proactively do these things. I don't know if you do the same thing, but when, when you're away from your partner, you just try to think of little things that's going to make them feel more comfortable, better, you know, I'm. I'm on the other hand, I'm like living on the moon. So it's like, she doesn't have to really do anything for me because I'm like, I'm all in on, on everything with her. And I fully trust her in every capacity. And my whole life, I've always been like this. I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to, okay? And I trust people to be who they are, okay? And so far, I know who she is. So until further notice, that's how I'm gonna treat her. You know what I'm saying?

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah, I totally get that.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah, that's my thoughts on it.

[Jay Shetty]

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[Benny Blanco]

I remember there was a time we didn't want this to be, like, a public thing because unfortunately for Selena, her life is always under the spotlight, being scrutinized at every moment and this and that and for good, for bad. And I remember sitting with her, and we'd been seeing each other, you know, secretly for months and months and months. And we were about to go to New York, and we just made a conscious effort that we were like, we don't wanna do this anymore. We wanna be able to go out and have fun and, like, and, you know, just live our lives. And at that point, I knew that it was serious enough to dive in like, that. I was like, okay, I don't care what comes with this, because I love this person so much already that, like, we literally said I love you on that trip. She had already said I love you to me a few times.

[Jay Shetty]

Okay, wait, so the album. I said I love you first?

[Benny Blanco]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

So, Selena, you said I love you first?

[Benny Blanco]

Yes. She said it a few times.

[Jay Shetty]

What made you want to say that? Because that's a big step, I assume.

[Selena Gomez]

I definitely have never been the first.

[Jay Shetty]

So this is the first time in your life you were the first?

[Selena Gomez]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

Wow.

[Selena Gomez]

I wanted him to also know how committed I was. And deep down I just felt that. And I. I was tired of protecting myself. We had spent enough time together where, you know, I felt like this was my person and I. I had the courage enough to say it, but I was very nervous and luckily he said it back.

[Jay Shetty]

Did you say it back the first time?

[Benny Blanco]

Well, there was a. Okay.

[Selena Gomez]

Okay. Well, there's been some slip ups.

[Benny Blanco]

Okay. Okay. She was. She has a plate in her hand because she. She had like an accident and she was like coming up from. I think that was.

[Selena Gomez]

Oh, he's talking about a metal plate.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah, she was. Had surgery or something. She was coming out of anesthesia and. And she was like sitting there and she was like, I love you. And then I was like, what? And she was like. And she was like, I love you. And I. I don't remember. I didn't say anything back yet because I was like, I can't have this be the first time. And then one time she was with her friends and they were at dinner and she was like, oh, we really wish you were here. We love you. I mean. And then just hung like. It literally was like. And then she started wanting to really say it and she was like, it was right when I was going to do it. It was the same night. And I was like, hey, let me get my stuff out.

[Selena Gomez]

And I like you. Literally. He said that. And then I just said, I love you.

[Benny Blanco]

And I was like, please. I was like, please just let me out. Because I had. It was like I had felt it and I was about to do it and I was like, I want to wait till New York. So it's special. Be in my house. It'll be a good thing. And then the day I was doing it, she was like, she couldn't take it anymore. And she said it and then we said it. And the thing that's crazy is before you say I love you, it's like this thing. It's like taboo. You're scared to say. And then after you're like, oh, my God, I can't. Like, you want to say it a thousand times in a row. You never want. I can't even understand how I went so long without saying it to her. I say it 3,000 times a day to her. And I like, I make sure every day I say I love you so much. Like, I love you. A million times. And then I always tell her how beautiful she is and how lucky I am to have her every day.

[Selena Gomez]

You know, it's so annoyingly cute.

[Benny Blanco]

And I always want it.

[Jay Shetty]

No.

[Benny Blanco]

And I always want to do that because I want her to know that every day I don't take any of anything for granted. And I still look at her and my breath gets taken away in so many different ways. And I said it to her last night. We were sitting. We were in, like, the pool or something together last night, and we were just hanging out. And I was just like, you're so beautiful. And I don't mean that just physically. I'm saying, like, you can feel it. There's, like a ring, like an aura around her that exudes just, like, warmth and it.

[Selena Gomez]

And it just, like, making me want to cry.

[Jay Shetty]

How do you react in the moment when they haven't? Selena. Because, Benny, we're basically the same person. I do the same thing to my wife. Yeah. I do that to Radi all the time.

[Benny Blanco]

We're so lucky.

[Jay Shetty]

Radi will just pull the funniest face in the world. I was like, how do you react when Benny's telling you all these amazing things? Selena? What do you say?

[Selena Gomez]

Because I say, no. Let's be honest. I also am equally grateful. And I tell him that all the time. I just. It makes me feel like it's not real. And I'll, Like. Sometimes I'll be like, this seems too good to be true. Like, he's so sweet to me, but now I've accepted it. I think I actually love it so much that it just makes me want to give him that support and that love back. So it's safe to say I feel much safer doing that now. And I like it.

[Jay Shetty]

I think so many people feel that when someone's that nice, and that's coming from someone who's like that myself, with friends, family, and obviously with my. With my wife, too, a lot of the time that's seen as a weakness. Like, people kind of look down on it when someone's that open about their feelings. Especially I get asked that a lot when I'm giving relationship or dating advice. People will be like, oh, no. But if I come on too strong, people get turned off. What, this time was different for you, where it's like, he's being really affectionate, he's being really open. But there's a part of you that realizes that's what you want and that's.

[Selena Gomez]

What you deserve, because the world has become so hard to please. If you will. I'm called fake. I'm called. It's insincere. It's fake. All of this, like, it just doesn't feel safe. And I don't like being myself sometimes. And that's a re. That's a bigger problem than just talking about it in a relationship because it makes you feel like you have to question the way you're acting. And I genuinely. Yeah, I have really bad days, and sometimes I don't have the energy to do what I'm doing. But I try 99% of the time to be kind and to just be happy and grateful for what I have. Have. And that just almost isn't cool anymore. And I hope that that conversation can kind of start eventually, because it's not. It's not good. I want to always be that person that I was, but it gets harder and harder. What I felt for Benny, it was. It was. Everything about him was honest. It wasn't just that he was honest with me. He was honest about where he was at in life. And he'll tell me anything that he's feeling, and it made me feel like I could do the same. But he's the one person, you know, and you're saying those nice things to me, babe. It's, like, so sweet. But I believe him. To where I'm not going to believe someone who is blowing smoke up my butt to just make me feel good. He's saying it because he means it. And I believe that.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, that's beautiful, that honesty that someone has in every area of their life, including their bad days, their tough days, their challenging days. Then when they're saying that whether their day is good or bad, and they feel that way, it resonates with us. I think we all sense that. And I love what you said. I think it's so important that we make it cool again to care for people and be cared for. And we make it cool again to love people and feel loved. And we make it cool again for people to be kind and to receive kindness.

[Benny Blanco]

I feel like it's like a macho thing. Like, guys. Yeah, guys are always trying. It's like, stop trying to be cool. Like, it's like, guys try to be so cool and, like, they don't want. I think it's cool to show your emotions. I think it's cool to tell you the person. Like, I call my mom and up and I tell her how beautiful she is, too. Like. And I. I think it's cool to make people feel good. I think it's cool to like, you know, I just feel like people, like, are trying to push people down a lot sometimes like to make themselves feel better. But you look so much cooler and so much better if you're making other.

[Selena Gomez]

People feel that's not even that you would look.

[Jay Shetty]

No, I know.

[Selena Gomez]

You'd feel like a better person.

[Benny Blanco]

That's what I'm saying, though. But it's like, I don't understand why people, like, choose not to do that.

[Selena Gomez]

And it's like, yeah, it's. It's something I'm very passionate about. Something that I do want to start talking about more. I want to be a good example. I'm not the perfect person. Lord knows I've made tons of mistakes and continue. And will continue to. But I. I think it's important that we talk about that.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. I'm really glad you both raised it because I think so many of us are actually accepting less than we deserve because we want what's cool, not what we deserve.

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah. Me explaining to you right now, I want to change my whole approach to anything because of, like, one thing that I did. Like, that's. I don't have to change who I am. Like, that was hurtful for sure.

[Benny Blanco]

I don't ever want to do. I don't do any of that. Like, when some people. I don't care what's going on.

[Selena Gomez]

No, he's great at that. Which helps me not care as much.

[Benny Blanco]

But I don't care about what anyone said. I don't care about comments, I don't care about press. I don't care about any. I don't care about what anyone says. Yeah. I just try to.

[Jay Shetty]

Have you always been there?

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

What. What made you that confident? Because I think a lot of people.

[Benny Blanco]

Need to hear that because it's like this. Okay. Why are you reading the comments? Okay, there's two reasons. You're either reading the comment because you want people to be like, oh, my God, I love you, or you want someone to say, you piece of shit, you're ugly, you look like shit. You know what I'm saying? And it's like. And you don't need either one of those answers. I rather just free fall through life. And I don't need to know any of that stuff. And I don't know. I've never even read an interview back ever, that I've ever done. I don't look at the pictures. Like, ask my manager. I say, hey, did I say something stupid in the interview? And if he says yes, I said, what did I say? That was Stupid. Or I say, okay, great. If it's something like, I don't want to know. There's always going to be someone trying to bring you down. Hating is free. Okay, so people are going to be hating all over the world. They're being. From their bedroom. They're going to be. And I just don't even understand it. I've never even thought in my mind to like. To, like, go on someone's page, be like, jay, that shirt's ugly. Why'd you wear that? Those stripes look like shit, Jay. No, I never even thought about that. Like, if anything, I write like, oh, my God, I love this show, Jay. Like. And I just don't think we live in this weird world where people seek validation in so many different ways. And I don't think we need. And I know it's hard. I know it's hard and people want it. And you want to read the comments, you want to look at it, but I just don't think I'm going to gain anything from it in that time. I could be looking at those comments. I could be hanging out with my friends or, like, going on a walk or eating something delicious or on the phone.

[Selena Gomez]

It'd be much healthier.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, I think. I think you have that too. And it's why you've been so successful in music. Benny, yourself. Because I think you can create original sound because it's not trying to be like someone else or impress someone else. Like, it's. It's partly why you're so good at your craft.

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Because to make great music, to invent new sounds, to create new genres, to create spaces for artists to play in, it requires that. That confidence in. I'm not trying to sound like this. I'm not trying to be like this. I'm not trying to impress. So it's really interesting too, because I feel like when you're growing up your whole life, you're told to fit in.

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And then when you grow up, you have to stand out. But then when you stand out, then everyone has a chance to point fingers. Because when you're doing something differently, that's the only time. Of course, if you kind of follow what everyone else is doing, non will ever point fingers.

[Benny Blanco]

Do you. Do you read the comments?

[Jay Shetty]

No, I'm the same as you. But I got really good advice early on as well. I remember someone saying to me, they said, jay, you get. If you get a hundred comments, you're gonna look through all of them to find the one that's negative.

[Benny Blanco]

That's the Way the brain.

[Selena Gomez]

That's the way you go to here.

[Jay Shetty]

And then you make it out like that. One negative comment is everything. Entire comment section. And so if someone said, jay, those stripes are ugly, I'm now walking around my whole life thinking, worried about the stripes ugliest. And let's get honest. That goes even deeper if someone says something about you when you were saying, like, someone called you fake or someone called you.

[Selena Gomez]

Well, I was basically also gonna point out that women have it much harder.

[Jay Shetty]

Please tell. Yeah, tell us.

[Selena Gomez]

I think that from my perspective, it's pretty wild. And I think this isn't news to anybody, that obviously women have a lot more intense feelings from their appearance to, you know, what they are wearing to everything. And I'm saying this is, to me, when I get prepared for an event, 90% of the time, I'm just like, I just hope I can take the picture and sit down. It's the character that gets judged. It's the way I'm not white enough. I'm not Mexican enough. I'm. I don't know. There's just these so many different things that come up in. In my face that I can't help but see. But I fall victim to, like, looking at things, and it really. It doesn't add to your life, but it's just so difficult from the choices of, you know, the people you date. It's like, nobody cares about those kind of things with men. They're just like, yeah, they. They did that. They said that they, you know, they did this. And so I think we just carry a lot. Oh, yeah. My weight's a big one, too. Everyone just has something to say, and it's really making me sad, and not even sad, because you know what? No, I'm not a victim, everyone. I just think it's made me a tad bitter, and I feel really guilty for saying that, but it's true. I don't know.

[Jay Shetty]

It's a really interesting time, isn't it? Because. And I'm so happy that you both are talking about this, because I feel like on one end, we're all like, body positivity. Let's talk about mental health. Let's protect each other. Like, there's this whole conversation, and then on the other side, we're, like, pointing fingers at people about their weight and their appearance and whatever else it is. Like you said, judgments of character, especially you're saying with women. And I find that so interesting because I'm like, wait a minute. Don't we realize that the same people who are Saying mental health matters are the same people that are pointing fingers at people that can affect people's mental health.

[Selena Gomez]

I'm just happier that I don't have that. You know, I had to stop after a while. And I still take breaks completely because I'm human. So, of course, sometimes I read things and. But I do most of the time, ignore most of everything. I don't have anything on my phone at the moment. So there are ways to combat it. I'm doing it. I'm not in, like, I'm not in, like, I hate it. I understand the power of what social media is. It's just tricky.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Yeah, it is very tricky. But thank you, guys. Yeah, thank you for opening up about it because I can imagine it just gets exhausting after a while. It's just. Just tired of it, you know, because it's all the same and you're processing all the same stuff. But what about for you, Selena? What's been the way that you've been able to manage your crazy work schedule, Staying committed to the relationship, finding time to make memories and. And makes things.

[Selena Gomez]

I think, you know, I will say it's very hard for me. And like Benny said in the beginning, it was very difficult for me to take trips away. It just makes me feel, once I understood and got to know him and I wasn't afraid to tell him, like, hey, I just want to make sure, like, it's not that I don't trust you. Can you just text me before you go to your next thing? And I was able to do that with him, and he wasn't combative. He wasn't like, why? I don't. You don't trust me? It was just more like, yeah, I could totally do that. And with that, day by day, I feel more and more open and, you know, we're going to be separated again while I go shoot in New York. And, yeah, I'm ready for it.

[Jay Shetty]

I think it's.

[Selena Gomez]

It's doable, but it's not. Not fun.

[Jay Shetty]

Exactly. It's not fun, but. But it found. It sounds like you found a system that works for you. And the. The system is so simple, is literally just listening to the other person. If the other person says, hey, I need this. It's not now like a debate around whether they don't trust you. Because I think a lot of us, if someone said that to you, Benny, like, it would be easy for your reaction to be like, well, how can you not trust me? Like, you always know where I am. Like, how. Why do I have to do this every day. Like you could have that reaction but but that reaction doesn't make the relationship better. And I think that's where often that goes, where someone vulnerably says, hey, all I need is this. I used to think upgrading my style meant spending a fortune. Then I found quints and everything changed. Now I get high end, versatile pieces that look and feel amazing without the crazy markup. Quince has all the essentials, like their Mongolian cashmere crewneck sweaters that start at just $50. The best part is that everything is priced 50 to 80% less than similar luxury brands. Quince makes this possible by cutting out the middleman and partnering directly with top factories, passing the savings on to us. But it's not just about price. Every piece is made with premium fabrics and ethical manufacturing practices, so you're getting luxury quality without compromise. I got the Cotton Peak Knit blazer and it's the perfect balance of polished and effortless. The quality is top notch, on par, if not better than other luxury brands. I've tried indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.compurpose for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince.compurpose to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.compurpose it sounds obvious, but sometimes we're so busy we forget to just breathe. But the right music can help you return to the present. Apple Music Chill is a sanctuary of sound, a continuous flow of soothing music and mindful moments to help you find your center. Chill. Listen now on Apple Music Radio. No subscription necessary. Sometimes life can seem challenging and overcoming problems can seem impossible. But when you focus on your problems, it can keep you from seeing the good in your life. One thing that helps me when I need a change in perspective is acknowledging the small wins in life. I encourage my team to pay attention to small wins because it helps them see positive outcomes and the steps that they're achieving on the road to a bigger goal. Use the power of small wins to shift your outlook and you will start to see positive changes. State Farm is also there to help you find personal wins and celebrate the small things in life. The State Farm Personal Price Plan helps you create an affordable price just for you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[Benny Blanco]

If someone's Coming at you with a certain energy. You're already going to buck back. Like, she always comes in a way where she's like, well, I didn't like this because of this, this and this. I'm like, she just said, it's so nice that I have to. I'm like, no. Because I'm like, shit. I have to approach this in a different way because she came at it with such class and effort. So, like, I'm not going to come back at her like that. I'm going to come back at her and say, well, I agree with what you're saying. Or, you know, I disagree, and here's why, you know? And that's how we talk through everything. And then another thing was, I really wanted a person that when I wake up, I think to myself, I'm like, how can I make Selena's day better? Like, how. What can I do in my day to make her day better? Because then that makes my day better. And I wanted to find a person like that. And I know when Selena wakes up, like, the first thing she's thinking is like, how can I make his day better? And we have such a give and take. Like, I could never even see a world where I would ever yell at her, she would ever yell at me. Like, we don't argue like that. Like, I feel like. I feel like we just have conversations. Like, there's never an argument. Sometimes she'll say, this is so funny.

[Selena Gomez]

Oh, boy.

[Benny Blanco]

No, no, no. She'll do this, and it's really cool. She'll go, I'm feeling a little irritated, and I think I need, like, 25 minutes. And I'll say, okay. And then I give her her space. And then after, like, five minutes, she texts me. She's like, hey, will you come back? But it's. But it' and we have the proper boundaries set with each other. Like, I don't have to be on top of her every second. She doesn't have to be on top of me every second we're together. I just want to know she's in the house so I can say, like, hey, I love you, and then go back to what I'm doing. You know what I mean? Because, look, we're both highly independent people, okay? But we're both little mushes who just need to be attached. Yeah.

[Selena Gomez]

We are so cheesy. It's so fun.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah. But it's like. But I feel like. Like, I think it helps us, too, that we're both, you know, on my list. A thing was, I wanted Someone to be driven and inspired by something. I didn't care if they made any money or anything. I just wanted someone to be so into something that they did every day. And when she comes back from her day and she tells me what she did, I'm like, I'm not sitting there like, yeah, like, when you're talking to your mom. You know when you're talking to your mom and you just say, your mom just keeps talking to you. Yeah. Huh? Yeah. Like, she comes back and, like, my eyes light up because I see the enthusiasm. I see what she did, and I'm like, it inspires me. And I'm like, I gotta do more in this thing. And it's like, we're in this place where we're inspiring each other, and we're so inspired by what the other person's doing. And she'll help me out. She'll be like, well, what if you did it like this, this, and this? And I'm like. And then she'll say something, and I'll be like, like, well, why don't you handle the situation? Because we have such different personalities that are also the same, but we're the thing that one of us is really good at. The other one maybe lacks a little bit and vice versa. And it's so cool to be able to, like, workshop, like, little conversations or how to handle a situation and it. And I just feel so comfortable with her like, that I can say anything and she won't ever say, I don't know.

[Jay Shetty]

I love the maturity. I mean, hearing you both talk about it.

[Selena Gomez]

Yes. But let's be clear. We are not the perfect.

[Benny Blanco]

No, no, it's not perfect. We're so sad.

[Jay Shetty]

You're disagreeing. No, no, no. But I think the maturity of. And I agree with you. I think that's actually the difference. And I'm glad you brought that up. I think there's a big difference between maturity and perfection.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Perfection is saying, we never have a disagreement. We never have to take space from each other. Which you're not saying. You're saying, hey, I just asked for 25 space. And then I was like, wait a minute, I need you. And I think there's a ma. Maturity in that because it requires maturity from both parts. For you to first say, hey, I need space. For you to say, I get it. I respect you. And then for you to have the maturity to say, actually, I want you back. And for you to be like, not like, oh, I told you so. For you to be like, I'm here for you. Like, that. That's not perfection to me. That's maturity. And I think that's. I really want people to get that from it, that you are gonna have disagreements. You are gonna want space. Like, me and Radi went through that. She. At the beginning of our relationship, if we had a disagreement and we were the same, we never. We made a rule that we would never raise our voices at each other. Because I came from a home where it was not great. She comes from a home where her parents don't raise their voices. But I was just like, I never wanted that in my home. I wanted the energy of my home to be so sacred, and I wanted the energy of the home to always have a space where everyone just walked in and felt like a warm hug. And I was like, we can't argue and then expect that to happen. But it took a long time for us to realize that when she. At the start of our disagreements, she wanted space. And I used to say to her, well, if you don't want to talk about it right now, that means you don't care about me. And that wasn't true. She just needed space to process. So it took time for us to mature, for me to realize, wait a minute. You wanting space is you caring for the relationship?

[Benny Blanco]

Some people. I get it. They want to talk about it, right Then they want to. The one thing that also works for us so much is, like, we're not chill people. But we're, like, not. We're never gonna get. I, Like, I'm not gonna yell at anyone in my life.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, same.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah. And, you know, I. I came from a home where a lot of that was happening, and I saw, like, at a young age, and I was just like, well, like, my parents weren't speaking the same language. Obviously, they were speaking the actual same language. They weren't speaking the same language to each other to communicate. And if someone comes at you, like, hostile right away, the first thing I'm gonna do and I know she's gonna do is shut down. So you're not getting anything. You know? And I always say this. Guys are so quick to, like, they gotta win. They gotta win the argument. And it's like, what are you doing? What are you winning? Like, you're gonna argue with your wife and, like, make her cry. And then you're like, I won that argument. And then she hates you and resents you. Like, wait, like, don't be an idiot. And it's like, I only.

[Selena Gomez]

I've been guilty, though, to start.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah. I don't know. I just.

[Selena Gomez]

Not a view. Sorry. I think for me, I necessarily felt like in other situations of mine, it was. I was very reactive. I think that's why I was alone for five years, because I really needed to collect myself. I think in the past, that's why I say to him all the time, and 10 years ago, it's not that I wouldn't have wanted to be with you. I just wouldn't have been in the right headspace. And I don't think that you deserve what I had gone through before. So I've learned a lot of lessons, and I've made mistakes, and I just want this to be right. So for me, that was a lesson that I had to learn because I think girls can equally want to be right. That, for me, it was really difficult in the past, and he's made it unbelievably easy to the point where if I even get to the point where I'm so frustrated, he's, like, very quick to understand. I hear you. Like, you're allowed to feel that. And that helped me shift where my mind used to go, which was a little bit of anger.

[Jay Shetty]

So it was the validation of how you felt in those reactive moments that allowed you to not be reactive. What was it that allowed you? Because I feel like, as Benny was saying earlier, you carry this baggage from all of our relationships into this one.

[Selena Gomez]

I respect Benny because he's done nothing but respect me. I, again, trust him. I can tell him anything, even if it's about something that's uncomfortable. And. And maybe you should just talk to your girlfriends. Like, he is that. And that helps calm me down to say, okay, so I'm going through these things because of maybe what I had before. Whatever it is, it's not. Nothing is ever bad. Like, nothing in my life I regret, and I'm so, so happy for my journey, and I'll continue to be. It is a lesson that you have to. To be patient and learn. And I just. I could never picture myself disrespecting him. I think.

[Benny Blanco]

Well, it's. It's also just a different thing because it's like, look, none of us are perfect. Like, she gets spicy sometimes.

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

And when I see something happening, it's about guiding the missile, not adding a jet pack on top of it with a. With, like, machine gun artillery. Like, I want to make. If I see her getting to a place where I'm like, man, in five minutes from now, this room could explode. I'm never gonna let it get to that five minutes from now, I'm gonna say, what are all the tools that I know that work for her that I've learned over. Like, I'm not gonna exacerbate a situation. I'm gonna try to calm it down. Cause why do I wanna be in that position where we're both just, like, upset about something? I don't wanna just calm it down and tell her what she wants to hear. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying, like, to your partner, be like, yes, you're right. You're totally right. Like, everything. You know, I think you listen and you say, like, okay. Like, sometimes I even. I'll say, like, let's not let it get there. Let's, like, just talk about this. And I. I do think physical touch is always, like, a very big way. Like, if you're in a conversation with your partner, like, it's like sometimes just, like, a hand helps, or just holding their hand while you're telling them or giving them a hug while you're telling them. And. And someone's upset, let them talk it out first. And then after they talk it out, be like, okay, well, here's what I think, you know? And you can work through these things together. Such an easy way.

[Selena Gomez]

Very constructive.

[Benny Blanco]

It's not always easy, I can tell you that. And sometimes we just. Someone wants to be frustrated. And it's like, sometimes she'll tell me that. She'll just be like, I know it's gonna be okay, but, like, I just want to be frustrated in this moment.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

And. And I'll have to redirect because I'll be like, you know what? You have every right to be in this moment. And she'll say, this is why. She said, this is why I want to be frustrated in this moment. She said it the other day. I can't even remember. And I was just like, oh, my God. I was like, yeah. I was like, that makes so much sense. I was like, I don't agree with the frustration. We'll get there afterwards. And I was like, but I get it. I get it. And it's so cool. And I've never quite had a relationship, like, with her. And we're the furthest thing from perfect in the world. We're perfect for each other. We're not perfect for everyone else. But I think the thing that's cool is that we've had all these experiences. I've had all my experiences where it wasn't right. And I'm like, oh, okay, I'm gonna change that the next time, you know, with this Person or with that person. And I think that's when you really grow, is when you take all your experiences, good or bad. Like, I'm like her. I take every experience in my life. My past partners, my family, my everything. It's like everything happened for a reason. And I'm not gonna sit here and mope about, like, things that could be better or different. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna say, okay, I learned this, and now I'm gonna put it into practice.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

You know?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. For me, I always. I always said to Radhi, I always say to my wife, do you want me to listen? Do you want me to fix this? Or do you just want me to go through it with you?

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah, because a lot of times it.

[Jay Shetty]

Clear for me, because they don't want.

[Benny Blanco]

You to fix it right away. And I'm not saying. I'm saying men or women, sometimes it's not about fixing. You know, everyone is. You know, I'm such a problem solver, and you are too. So it's like your first thing. I know the first thing in your head is like, how can I fix this situation? But sometimes it's not about fixing it right there. Sometimes it's about just like, you know, especially for women who are, like, strong, like both our partners, they don't have a lot of time to be vulnerable in all the areas of their life. They have the world on their backs. Your wife has. There's so many people that rely on her. There's so many people that rely on her. So sometimes they just want to complain about something and that's okay. That's okay?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Yeah, for sure it's okay.

[Benny Blanco]

Who else are they gonna do it to? They might as well do it. And you. And you just listen.

[Jay Shetty]

It sounds obvious, but sometimes we're so busy, we forget to just breathe. But the right music can help you return to the present. Apple Music Chill is a sanctuary of sound, a continuous flow of soothing music and mindful moments to help you find your center. Chill. Listen now on Apple Music Radio video. No subscription necessary. Sometimes life can seem challenging and overcoming problems can seem impossible. But when you focus on your problems, it can keep you from seeing the good in your life. One thing that helps me when I need a change in perspective is acknowledging the small wins in life. I encourage my team to pay attention to small wins because it helps them see positive outcomes and the steps that they're achieving, achieving on the road to a bigger goal. Use the power of small wins to shift your outlook and you will start to see positive changes. State Farm is also there to help you find personal wins and celebrate the small things in life. The State Farm Personal Price Plan helps you create an affordable price just for you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Price prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state. Okay, I have two questions for the guys out there. Do you want to have nice, healthy skin and would you rather not spend a ton of time getting it? So for the like 99% of guys who said yes to both questions, Dove men plus care body and face scrub is the ultimate hack for effortless skincare. And when I say hack, I mean it. It really makes getting better looking skin as simple as possible. The new Dove Men plus Care Scrub literally exfoliates, cleanses, and moisturizes in one step. That's it. It's the definition of a hack. And you can feel good about using it. We're talking about natural essential oils. It's vegan and parabens and sulfates free. Plus it's totally designed for men's skin. But the main thing is that it works and it's easy. Your skin will look and feel better. And in case you missed it before, you don't have to work hard to make it happen. Yep, just hack your grooming routine and add the Dove Men plus Care Scrub into your shower. I have to ask you both about this because I was so excited when the news came out and it just, you know, it was so beautiful to see it go from where it started to this. But your proposal and now you're engaged and like that just. I can tell. I mean, it just, it feels just beautiful being in the same space with you both loving on each other, which is great. Selena, what was the proposal like?

[Selena Gomez]

We have a video of it, but I want to save that for us and just keep that private. But basically what I will share is that I thought we had a shoot that day and I had hair and makeup and I was doing my regular day. I get in the car and I'm thinking to myself, where are we going? Because at this point I feel like I know a lot of the studios that I go to. And I just started getting a little frustrated because I was like, this seems far right.

[Jay Shetty]

I was in the car, just you.

[Selena Gomez]

Just me and my security. And he's laughing because he's just like oh, it's just, you know, I don't know. It's a new space. I was like, okay, we get out. I just. I walk in, and all of a sudden I see no one's in the room. And I just look at my assistant, and she just shuts the door. And I was like. And I, like, kind of walked on to, you know, the area that he had set up. And, you know, I think you envision all the things that you would do and say when someone asks you, but it is actually the craziest feeling. It was really special. He. He said the sweetest things. But I also was so shocked that it. It just felt unreal for a long time. And. I don't know. I've always dreamt of that moment, and he couldn't have made it more perfect. And, yeah, it was one of the best days of my life, for sure.

[Benny Blanco]

I wasn't nervous until one second before. I was so not nervous. I was doing work until one second before. I was approving masters for an album that was coming out that night. And then right when it happened, right when it was about to happen, I said, oh, shit. What the am I gonna say? And I'm so good with words. Usually I can't remember anything. If we didn't have a video of it, I wouldn't even remember what I said. You know, I had known I was going to propose to her for so long, and I never cared about marriage. Wasn't a thing in my head. She cared about it so much. So I said, well, now I care about it because she cares about it. And I found myself not even thinking it was going to be a big deal till I was there. And then I said, holy shit. Getting married now. And in the moments leading up to it, but it's not really real until it's real. I remember it was so special for me because it was special for her. And then. Yeah. She said the two times you said that were the best things in your life. Were that. And then when I got you Whataburger.

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

What's this? I want to know about this.

[Selena Gomez]

Whataburger is a restaurant chain that I'm not sure where they are, but they're not in California and they're not in New York. And. And I love this chain so much because there's a million in Texas where I'm from. And I love the biscuits, Texas toast and gravy. It's so good. And we don't have that. And for Valentine's Day, he surprised me. And this was it. This is all we really did. I was on the phone and he comes in with whataburger. And I literally look at him like I'm freaking out. And he had someone. Apparently they opened up in Vegas. And while we were talking, someone drove. Kept it warm and then.

[Benny Blanco]

No, didn't keep it warm. I. So I.

[Selena Gomez]

Did you reheat it?

[Benny Blanco]

What I did was I got all the parts to it and talked to the people there and figured out how I could reheat it the best way. And I was reheating in all different ways, putting it together and then. Yeah. Brought it to her because to me, someone like Sel could have anything in the world. The best thing you could do. And she said it right after. She said. Right when I gave it to her, she said, I can't believe you listened and remembered my order and remembered all these things in such an easy way. And then you just did it. She said, that's what makes this gift so special, is that you actually, like, listened to the things and it goes such a long way.

[Selena Gomez]

But I did say that my two favorite moments are the proposal. And I was just thinking.

[Benny Blanco]

I was just.

[Selena Gomez]

So far. And he's done wonderful things.

[Jay Shetty]

That's brilliant.

[Benny Blanco]

I was just thinking something so crazy. Did you know we were born within 10 minutes from each other?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Really?

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

On the same day?

[Benny Blanco]

No, no, no place.

[Selena Gomez]

Oh, she was born in Texas.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah. I was born right near her. Like 10, 15 minutes away.

[Jay Shetty]

And you never met in Texas ever that.

[Benny Blanco]

No.

[Selena Gomez]

No. He can't claim.

[Benny Blanco]

I don't claim Texas.

[Jay Shetty]

No.

[Benny Blanco]

I was born in Texas, but I grew up in Virginia.

[Selena Gomez]

I claim Texas.

[Benny Blanco]

She claims Texas.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

What? Do you remember your proposal?

[Jay Shetty]

Of course I remember my proposal. It was. It was very. I would say I was definitely impacted by lots of social media trends. For sure. I. In my chap. My first chapter of my second book, which is all about love. Love. I talk about how I would redo my proposal because.

[Benny Blanco]

Oh, you didn't like it, so.

[Jay Shetty]

Not that I didn't like it. It was perfect for the time, but it so wasn't us, like it could have been. So I'll tell it. It's embarrassing, but I'll tell it. I'll tell it. So we were walking down one of our favorite walking paths on the bank of the Thames in London.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And we're walking down. I told Radhi that we were going to a dinner with my family. And it was in a nice place, so she's dressed up and everything. And we come out and then this random Guy out of nowhere walks out with a bouquet of flowers, a massive one. He hands it to her. And then I had an acapella group sing Bruno Mars. And it was really sweet. They were great. They were very talented. And then I got down on one knee and then I asked her to marry me. And thankfully, I was crying the whole time. Yeah, yeah, thankfully she said yes. But I tell that story to say it could have been anyone's proposal.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And I had food brought in from her favorite restaurant, but by the time I got there, it was cold and it was. I didn't. I didn't do what you did, Benny. So I messed up. And then when we walked around the corner, there was a white horse drawn carriage that took us around the city.

[Selena Gomez]

I'm dying.

[Jay Shetty]

But then when we got. So then we were going back to her parents on the train to tell her parents what had happened. And I told them I was proposing that night, but we were going to hers. And we got to her house and her parents opened the door and they looked at her and they were like, what did he do to you? Because she had hives all over her face. Because I didn't know she was allergic to horses. And she didn't know either. And so that was the night we figured out that she was allergic to horses.

[Benny Blanco]

That was amazing.

[Jay Shetty]

So that story reminded me that I did know her, but I didn't.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

You know, we've been together.

[Selena Gomez]

The thought is, what, Cat?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, I was trying. I was trying really hard.

[Benny Blanco]

No, it's.

[Jay Shetty]

But it's one of the. We've been together, together for 12 years and married for nine, so we're doing all right. But I look back on it and I look at how much of my life was just impacted by the world of love. And now knowing my wife as deeply as I do, I would do it completely differently. So I'm trying to convince her to renew our vows and our 10 years of marriage. And also because our friends have changed. Like, we got married nearly 10 years ago now.

[Selena Gomez]

We've moved your life.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. So much has changed. And so I'm like, the people I want to celebrate my.

[Benny Blanco]

Did you even have the podcast?

[Jay Shetty]

No, no, no, Nothing. No, no, no.

[Benny Blanco]

How long. When did you have the podcast?

[Jay Shetty]

Podcast is six years old. Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

And wasn't she on, like, your first ever episode?

[Jay Shetty]

She was my first episode. Yeah. My wife's my first episode. Yeah.

[Selena Gomez]

So sweet.

[Jay Shetty]

But, yeah, I would do it again. And I think it's a great reminder of just how much we evolve and mature in Relationships and how it's okay to look back and go, hey, like.

[Selena Gomez]

You know, it's a great story.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, it's a fun story. It's a fun story. But. But, yeah, no, I'm so happy to hear about how beautiful this proposal was. You nailed it, Benny.

[Benny Blanco]

You just, you know, we just.

[Jay Shetty]

You're the man. I mean, it's. It's. It's beautiful to hear. Yeah. And. And, I mean, last time we were together, Benny, you were talking about wedding planning. How's that going?

[Selena Gomez]

We have not even begun. Because I think for right now, there's just so much going on. I have to go and shoot a series for a while, and I don't know, we'll just see. We're not in any rush, and I'm excited to see.

[Benny Blanco]

Yes. I don't even care about the next. No, it's. No, but, like, we're. We're. Honestly, we're so. So. We've been doing so much stuff. We haven't even gotten to really just, like, bask in the glory. So it's like, I think we're looking forward to doing that in New York a little bit.

[Jay Shetty]

And what does that look like for both of you, just you two spending time together?

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah, he's very good at, like, organizing and planning, and I'm very visual, so I'm like, this is what I like. And this and this. And then he figures out how to.

[Benny Blanco]

It'll be whatever. She's already told me the time, types of things she likes and wants for a wedding.

[Selena Gomez]

It'll be fun.

[Jay Shetty]

I love it. You both obviously got back into the studio together, recorded an amazing album. I got to listen to bits of. Was. It was an interesting process, but I'll tell you about that offline, but I got to listen to it. And what I loved was. I was surprised. I. I thought it was going to be about your relationship, but it sounded that it was about a history of your life, Selena. It felt like a history of love.

[Selena Gomez]

But the interesting part is it actually has multiple different stories.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah.

[Selena Gomez]

Some of the songs are actually about, you know, his past relationship. So I think that it was really special because we were able to talk about those kind of emotions and feelings, and not a lot of people maybe feel that comfortable doing that with a partner, but I don't know. We told each other all kinds of things. Like, I would, if I was in a session with someone I trusted. And so, yeah, you'd be surprised. I mean, of course, it's not all about, you know, rainbows and sunshine, but It's. It's real. And I. And I think these are all feelings people have felt before, and that's what we really wanted, is people to connect to the music, whether, you know, you like it or not. We're just stoked that we got to make an album that we're proud.

[Jay Shetty]

That's beautiful.

[Benny Blanco]

I feel like the thing that's so cool about it is I've been fortunate enough to make a lot of songs in my day, and people come up to me all the time, and they say, this song changed my life because I would. You know, I was going through the same thing. And sometimes it is what I wrote about, and sometimes they think the meaning is nothing of what I wrote about. But that's the best part about music, that it hits you. It's like music is one of the senses. It's like food. It's like. Like there's certain things, certain smells, certain songs. They bring you back to a time immediately. Okay. Like, you're immediately transported. And it's so cool that everybody can be listening to the same song and have a completely different relationship with it. And I feel like that's so cool.

[Jay Shetty]

What was it like going from working together that first time to this time? Like, what was different?

[Selena Gomez]

What was different is I never allowed him in the room.

[Benny Blanco]

I can kiss her now.

[Selena Gomez]

And I just. I like to record alone.

[Benny Blanco]

What's really different is I feel like we got to talk about stuff that she would never talk about as an artist if it wasn't with her partner being next to her. And honestly, I would take out. I would just write everything she said. Sometimes she wake up from a dream, and she's like, I had this terrible dream, and this is what it was. And blah, blah, blah. I write it down. Then it becomes a song.

[Jay Shetty]

Wow.

[Benny Blanco]

It was so cool being able to. I don't know. It was like therapy.

[Jay Shetty]

Well, you were saying to me when we spoke on the phone, I think it was last week, you were saying that there was just. It was like a safe space to be.

[Benny Blanco]

You could say whatever the you want. There's certain things you wouldn't be able to say if you were. If I was, hey, babe. Like, I just want it. She'd be like, what the Talking about. But if. But if. Somehow, like, when I'm playing chords while we're saying it, it's like, oh, okay.

[Selena Gomez]

What a great story.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah. And you can just talk about things and you're more open. It's like a therapy session. It's like. It's a safe place and like, it was cool to learn things about her that I don't know if I would have learned ever or as soon as I did.

[Jay Shetty]

Did it bring you closer when making the album? Like, what was it like being together but then making an album together and being together?

[Selena Gomez]

Absolutely. We were able to share things with each other and you would list to my doubts and he would give me great notes and it was never criticizing. It was always coming from a really gentle place. And I do. I think it absolutely has brought us closer. But that's also time and spending it with him.

[Benny Blanco]

It's. Yeah. Also we got to spend so much more time together.

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

Like. Cause, like our work days got to blend a little.

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

It's a great excuse to spend time together.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

I'm always trying to find ways to work more with my wife. I know. And then just trying to come up with new excuses.

[Benny Blanco]

I know. That's all I want to do.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I would do it too. And you had some amazing collabs as well on the album. Obviously, you've launched the song with Gracie and Gracie's amazing.

[Benny Blanco]

Oh my God.

[Selena Gomez]

I'm so happy that she's. She was just such a doll and so talented and you've known her so I shouldn't say that since she was like 13, but I love her.

[Jay Shetty]

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[Benny Blanco]

Did you interview her yet?

[Jay Shetty]

No. No, I haven't. Yeah. Yeah. You've been a fan for a while.

[Benny Blanco]

I've known her since she was 14.

[Jay Shetty]

Wow.

[Benny Blanco]

So to see where I put her on an album, like, five years ago.

[Jay Shetty]

Wow.

[Benny Blanco]

So, like, to see where she's gone is so cool. And, you know, I'm always one who, like, love, loves new talent, new artists, and she's great. She has such a great point of view. Her writing comes from such a good place. I love people where it feels like they're like. And Selena does it, too, where it feels like they're just kind of talking to you, and then you're like, oh, wait, I'm listening to a song. But, like, what? What? You know? Yeah, it's just, you know, making the album with her, I felt like it taught me. I was just like, we're really good at communicating with each other and saying, like. And setting boundaries and saying when we like something. When we don't like something.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. How do you do that? When you're in a relationship and you're like, I don't like the sound of that. Like, that. That's.

[Selena Gomez]

We're both. I think it comes down to ego, and we both don't really have that. So if we disagree on something, it's like, okay, I agree to disagree. Like, that's fine. But, yeah, of course, if I say, I don't know if I like that, he, most of the time, doesn't even question it and just is really receptive to my. Yeah, we just don't have an ego, so it doesn't matter. He could say, no, I don't like it. And I'd be like, okay, that's amazing.

[Jay Shetty]

What are you hoping that. Is there a song in there that you're really excited for fans to hear or anything specific?

[Benny Blanco]

I think I want people to, to hear the whole body of work and like, I don't really think about music like that. I make it for myself and if. And luckily people happen to like some of it. And we started this thing in our room and we recorded the whole album in the house and with our friends.

[Jay Shetty]

That's so intimate. That's. Have you ever done that before?

[Benny Blanco]

Not like this, no.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

No.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

No. And it was like, it kind of blurred reality a little. It was the most fun I ever had and I just like wanted a piece of music to be able to, I don't know, one day like show our kids and be like, look at this, like, look at this thing mommy and daddy made.

[Jay Shetty]

That's pretty cool.

[Benny Blanco]

And like, I can't believe it. Like, it's so cool to me. I don't care what happens with it. I was just like so excited to do this with the person I love and freeze a moment in time in a way that not a lot of people have the ability to do. And like we had, we were lucky enough to do that.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Selena, you mentioned earlier always wanting to be a mom. And Penny, you just mentioned kids. Is that. Are you both like big family big, lots of kids kind of people?

[Selena Gomez]

I mean, I don't know what will happen obviously. Obviously. But I, I love children. I mean, I have an 11 year old sister that I absolutely adore and I'm still doing wizards this, this far along because I love children. I love making them laugh. They're just so sweet. So absolutely. When that day comes, I'm so excited for it.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah, it's funny. We'll be at, we'll be at like a gathering or a party and not many people know this but like Selena is like the ultimate level of shy. Like the ultimate, ultimate, ultimate level of shy. Like couldn't.

[Selena Gomez]

I don't know a lot of people. Sometimes I get checked out.

[Benny Blanco]

Couldn't be more of like an introvert shy. Which is crazy because she's the biggest star in the world and it's like, I'm not. I hate when it's when she walks into a room to him. Yeah. Her main goal is to like disappear into the crowd that's like her. Her goal is to just like everyone. It's, it's. My mom is very similar. Her and my mom are very. And they're, you know, they're never going to. If there's a crowd of people, they're never going to like, be like, how like me or probably you would do. Where we're like, like we're talking. They're not going to do that. They're like, wait and say like one thing throughout the night that winds up being like the most poignant or funny thing of the night. But like I'm going to have diarrhea. The mouth talking to everyone. And whenever there's kids at a place, it's the only time I see her do that. She immediately goes to the kids and like has these conversations for like hours with the kids, is taking care with the kids. And I think it's also, I think it probably also has to do with like, when you started doing this, you were a kid and that was your way to connect to people. And I feel like you still feel like you have that obligation to connect with like young kids. Cause you made so you shaped so many young people's lives, whether it was Barney, whether it was Wizards. And I feel like you're still finding your way to do that. And it's so crazy just to see because she's transcended into so many different categories. It's so hard to call her like, you know, a pop star, this an actress that, you know, you don't know what to call her. There's so much of a multi hyphenate.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, just your name.

[Benny Blanco]

You notice it sometimes when we see people, because you'll see a little girl come up to her crying. Then you'll see her older sister that's like 20. Then you'll see the mother and then the grandmother. So like, it's like she's hitting all these boxes in people's lives and touching so many people. And you know, she's such a hermit that she doesn't even realize it all the time. And you know, I'm always reminding her of like what she's doing and how special it is and how she's always been. So, you know, outspoken, will always say what's on her mind and is always, you know, just. I just, I just feel like she's. There's not a lot of people who are like just absolutely authentically themselves. And like that's what draws me towards her more than anything else. She's always going to tell you how she's feeling. She's always going to be herself. She's never going to try to be somebody else.

[Jay Shetty]

Well said.

[Selena Gomez]

You know, I love it.

[Jay Shetty]

Oh, Benny and Selena, I'm so grateful to you both for just opening your hearts, being so.

[Selena Gomez]

Only with you. Only with you.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah. I can't believe you got her to say some of this stuff she never said.

[Selena Gomez]

Very, very.

[Benny Blanco]

She would never say any of this.

[Jay Shetty]

Is there anything you didn't say that you wanted to say? I want to make sure.

[Selena Gomez]

No, no.

[Jay Shetty]

I mean. I mean that in a genuine way.

[Selena Gomez]

I'm thinking. I just. I'm just really grateful that people like you exist because you. You bring so much joy to people and also understanding, you know, so many different ways of life and navigating that. And I think you're a great example. So I just would like to say thank you. I trust you with that information, and it's always a pleasure to be with you. So thanks for having us.

[Jay Shetty]

You're both. You're both just so special. You've always been. I've always said, Selena, for years that, you know, no matter. And those moments where I could tell you were shy or wanting to disappear, but always being so gracious and kind to me and my wife whenever we were together and making us feel comfortable, even if you felt uncomfortable. And Benny, you know, just the wonderful conversations we've had over the last couple of years. And I feel like we've done everything. We've talked about so many different things, and we are both kind of like that, you know, back and forth, back and forth kind of people. But you've both done the final five before on the show, so we wanted to do something different with you both.

[Selena Gomez]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

We wanted to play a little couples game. Oh. So I'm going to hand you.

[Benny Blanco]

Oh, my God.

[Jay Shetty]

These boards.

[Selena Gomez]

Oh, I know, exactly.

[Jay Shetty]

So you take one each. They're fun, fun questions.

[Benny Blanco]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

I'm not going to take what you just told me and turn it around. Okay, so we're going to do where we're going to. I'm going to ask you questions. You both have to write something down, and then we'll reveal. So don't look at each other's answers. Question number one. If Benny would cook you anything in the world, Selena, what would he choose to cook for you? You. So both of you can write down. So, Benny, if you were going to cook anything for Selena, what would it be?

[Benny Blanco]

Oh, like, what do I think she wants the most?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Selena Gomez]

Oh, because there's a few things.

[Benny Blanco]

Oh, I think I Know what she's gonna say?

[Jay Shetty]

It's a hard question. It's a hard question.

[Benny Blanco]

No, I think I know it. Should I write down three?

[Jay Shetty]

No.

[Benny Blanco]

No.

[Jay Shetty]

For anyone who doesn't know, Benny is an insane connoisseur of food.

[Selena Gomez]

Very good.

[Benny Blanco]

I think I know.

[Selena Gomez]

Okay.

[Benny Blanco]

I don't think it's gonna be the same thing.

[Selena Gomez]

It's okay. That means you're just.

[Jay Shetty]

That's okay.

[Benny Blanco]

There's more.

[Jay Shetty]

Three, two, one.

[Selena Gomez]

Corn.

[Benny Blanco]

Oh, I did steak.

[Selena Gomez]

I thought that's actually. That's what I wrote.

[Jay Shetty]

That's what you. Oh, you did?

[Selena Gomez]

Yes. But I loved. He makes this corn dip that I can just eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

[Jay Shetty]

Well, that's a good thing. That there's more than one thing.

[Benny Blanco]

There's a lot.

[Jay Shetty]

That's a good thing. Yeah. That's amazing. I love it. All right, Selena, if you would cook anything for Benny, what would you choose to cook?

[Selena Gomez]

Huh?

[Benny Blanco]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

All right.

[Selena Gomez]

Oh, my gosh. What would I do?

[Benny Blanco]

Wait, is it not what I think you're gonna say? I think you're gonna say this.

[Selena Gomez]

Because I like.

[Benny Blanco]

I got mine.

[Jay Shetty]

You go to Benny already?

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah, I think so.

[Selena Gomez]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

Okay. Three, two, one. Okay. There we go. Very aligned.

[Selena Gomez]

I like this order of pizza.

[Jay Shetty]

You're doing good. This is great. Okay. This one's. This one's a bit more. I'm intrigued to see what comes out of this. It's not about how well you know each other. It's an interesting one. If your partner could master any skill instantly, what would it be? Selena's very confident. Everyone who's listening and not watching, it's like every time I ask a question, her pen hits the board immediately. All right, what do we have? 3, 2, 1, everything. It's annoying to be able to sleep through the night.

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

That's what she would want to. That's what you would want?

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

As a superpower.

[Selena Gomez]

No, I thought it was saying if.

[Jay Shetty]

You could master a skill.

[Selena Gomez]

Like, if I master a skill. Yes. Yeah, sorry. He'll put on a video game. He will be. Well, he'll play basketball. He does well. He'll do, like, Pro Tools, and then he'll do, like, all this stuff.

[Benny Blanco]

I feel like this is the skill she'd want to master, to be able.

[Jay Shetty]

To sleep through the night.

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

That's a real one. That's. A lot of people are struggling. We've done a lot of episodes on sleep because that's a real challenge for a lot of people. Yeah, it's hard, especially as we get older. You wake up in the middle of the night and. Yeah, not fun. All right. Okay. What's your partner's hidden talent that no one knows about?

[Selena Gomez]

Okay, if I'm gonna. I'm gonna take this to Benny's level.

[Benny Blanco]

What's her hidden talent?

[Selena Gomez]

I don't even know if I spelled that right.

[Jay Shetty]

That's. Okay. There's no spell check.

[Benny Blanco]

But what's her hidden talent?

[Selena Gomez]

I don't really have one. I don't.

[Jay Shetty]

They're all too public.

[Benny Blanco]

Oh. Oh. I know it. I know. This is crazy.

[Selena Gomez]

This is funny.

[Jay Shetty]

I'm just loving the honesty, guys. You guys are really going there. It's beautiful.

[Selena Gomez]

We like to be honest.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, no, but it's. It's so.

[Selena Gomez]

It's refreshing to know.

[Jay Shetty]

Right?

[Benny Blanco]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

Okay. Three, two, one.

[Benny Blanco]

Listen.

[Selena Gomez]

Hard on cue.

[Benny Blanco]

She knows every episode of Friends by heart.

[Jay Shetty]

Like you and Raleigh both.

[Benny Blanco]

She knows. She knows all of the. The lines. Every line.

[Selena Gomez]

And you could name, what episode did this happen? And I could tell you what.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Wow.

[Benny Blanco]

It's crazy.

[Selena Gomez]

That's.

[Benny Blanco]

I never even watched the show one time before her.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, same as me and Rodi. I didn't know. She. My R. Knows it really well, and I'm like, I need to catch up. All right, that was good. I like that. What's both of you as perfect date night?

[Benny Blanco]

How real am I allowed to be?

[Selena Gomez]

Just don't be like, I'm the worst at not wanting to do it.

[Benny Blanco]

No, no, no, no.

[Jay Shetty]

Old married couple. I love it.

[Benny Blanco]

Her idea of a perfect date night.

[Selena Gomez]

Is like, oh, I have so many.

[Jay Shetty]

But this one's just, oh, Benny's planning the date night in his head right now.

[Selena Gomez]

Mine's really simple.

[Benny Blanco]

I never write. It's so weird.

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah, it's strange, isn't it, Texting.

[Jay Shetty]

You both got good handwriting. For people who don't write, though, we're.

[Selena Gomez]

Definitely not saying the same thing. His is going to be so nice and romantic, and mine is just.

[Jay Shetty]

You guys literally remind me of me and Radhi with this. Yeah, it's so funny. All right, Three, two, one, reveal.

[Benny Blanco]

What's her say?

[Selena Gomez]

Hot tub. Benny's food on a couch.

[Jay Shetty]

A romantic dinner with some small, thoughtful gesture, then something. I can't write.

[Benny Blanco]

I was trying to think.

[Selena Gomez]

Sweet.

[Jay Shetty]

I like both the answers. And you're right, they're both good date nights. All right, what is Benny like on a flight? Because Benny, notoriously, does not.

[Selena Gomez]

How would I know?

[Benny Blanco]

She's never seen me on a flight.

[Jay Shetty]

Have you never done.

[Selena Gomez]

He does not fly.

[Jay Shetty]

Oh, I thought. I thought you told me. You must have done it once. I thought you were going to.

[Benny Blanco]

I've done it, but not since we've been dating.

[Jay Shetty]

Wow. Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

So that's a blank.

[Jay Shetty]

Wow. I didn't know that. That's.

[Benny Blanco]

That one. Okay, give us.

[Jay Shetty]

What do you think Benny will be like on a flight?

[Selena Gomez]

I don't even know if I want to know because I would be so worried about him.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Selena Gomez]

Oh, sorry. Was I supposed to write that?

[Jay Shetty]

No, no, no, no, that's fine. A mess.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

No, for sure. It's a real. Real phone.

[Selena Gomez]

I just. I think it's a big fear of his.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. And that's real. It's real. Makes sense. All right. Okay, a couple more. What's something your partner can do to make you laugh whenever you're in a mood? So even if you're in your worst mood, what can your partner do? Or what does your partner do that will always make you laugh?

[Selena Gomez]

Ah.

[Jay Shetty]

So far, Benny and Selena know each other very well. This is going really well.

[Selena Gomez]

This is crazy.

[Jay Shetty]

I like the commitment from both of you. Extremely competitive. So, wait, Benny, as you're writing, how did you used to get to New York to see Selena? Would you drive?

[Benny Blanco]

What do you mean? I'm about to do it in a week.

[Jay Shetty]

You drive?

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

From here to New York?

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah. I'd take the boat to Europe.

[Jay Shetty]

Europe. Okay, so explain that journey to us.

[Benny Blanco]

Oh, my God, it's so long. It's like, first you have to drive to New York, and then you get on a boat for eight days and you're on the Titanic.

[Jay Shetty]

That is amazing. That is real commitment. All right, three, two, one. Go for it. Go on, read it. Selena.

[Selena Gomez]

Okay, it says dance or rap or say a weird fact that has nothing to do with what we're talking about.

[Benny Blanco]

Wait, that's what you're gonna.

[Jay Shetty]

That's what you do to make her laugh?

[Benny Blanco]

Oh, that's what I. Oh, I did what I do to her to make her laugh?

[Jay Shetty]

Oh, no, no. I wanted what the other person does to you. That's what you did. Selena, right? That's what Benny does.

[Selena Gomez]

Yes.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Yeah, Benny. Not because you rap as well. You're a good rapper.

[Benny Blanco]

Oh, I did what I do to make her laugh.

[Jay Shetty]

Oh, God. What did you write down?

[Benny Blanco]

I said I hug her and then get on top of her and then I do that little funny laugh there.

[Selena Gomez]

That's true.

[Jay Shetty]

Okay, wait.

[Benny Blanco]

What does she do?

[Jay Shetty]

What does Selena do that can make.

[Benny Blanco]

You laugh whenever she wants? She, like.

[Jay Shetty]

Selena's proven to be the better listener. Right. Right now, so.

[Benny Blanco]

Okay, wait, so no, no, we'll skip it.

[Jay Shetty]

Let's give it. We've got a good answer.

[Benny Blanco]

What do you do that makes me laugh?

[Jay Shetty]

In any mood? Like, whenever you're in any mood, like, what can they do? Like. Yeah, like Radhi would burst out into song and dance. Like, random relevance to anything.

[Selena Gomez]

I think my existence makes you laugh.

[Benny Blanco]

She'll make like a. Like, she does like this, like, little face and where she, like, puts her head down and like, looks at me and she's like. Like, I can't even do it, but she'll do that. That'll make me laugh. And you'll usually get on top of me and.

[Selena Gomez]

No, but he actually, this is really funny. When I try to get somewhat, like, heated, it's like he can't take me seriously. So he'll smile and then I'll. And then I'll go from being like.

[Jay Shetty]

That's true.

[Benny Blanco]

Whenever she starts to get, like, angry, she's like, no. And I just. I just laughed her cuz because it's so hard to take her seriously when she's like that. Yeah, that's true.

[Jay Shetty]

That's true.

[Benny Blanco]

That's usually how our fights.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Radhi hates it because whenever she gets angry, I'm like, you're so cute when you're angry. So what are you talking about? I'm not cute.

[Benny Blanco]

She's like.

[Jay Shetty]

She's like, I'm not cute. I love that. That's all right. What's the one thing they can't live without? Apart from you? So about your partner. So, Benny, you're writing about Selena. Selena's lying about you. What's one thing your partner can't. Apart from you? You.

[Selena Gomez]

This.

[Benny Blanco]

This couldn't be easier. Guaranteed. What do you mean, guaranteed? Easiest answer I could have ever thought of. That's the best question you could have ever asked me. I'm 100% right.

[Selena Gomez]

Something you can. Well.

[Jay Shetty]

What is it? Three, two, one.

[Selena Gomez]

Mom. Oh, space heater. That's true.

[Jay Shetty]

Explain the space here.

[Selena Gomez]

Okay, so I. I have a very weird problem. It's not even a problem. It's just a me problem. I'm a very cold person.

[Jay Shetty]

Got it.

[Selena Gomez]

My temperature, usually on my space heater is 90. And I let it go all over. And if I get hot, I just open the door and then close it again. It's so backwards. It's so weird.

[Jay Shetty]

Temperatures are hard to Everyone. Everyone's got a different. Different vibe. Trust me. Our office next door, the team's always arguing over what temperature the room's at. Some people want it really cold. Somebody want it really hot.

[Selena Gomez]

We have a system.

[Benny Blanco]

She always wants it hot.

[Jay Shetty]

I love it. Okay. What's something the other person is really competitive about? That.

[Benny Blanco]

What are you competitive about?

[Selena Gomez]

I'm really not a super competitive person.

[Benny Blanco]

No. I don't know what she's. Tell me.

[Selena Gomez]

I don't think I'm.

[Benny Blanco]

Tell me.

[Jay Shetty]

Selena's not competitive.

[Benny Blanco]

Oh, I was going to. I was going to say you are about games, but then you don't care anymore. Like, you're competitive for, like, the first five minutes and.

[Selena Gomez]

No, that's true. And then I'm start to think h. It's okay.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

Yeah, for like five.

[Selena Gomez]

That's true.

[Jay Shetty]

Okay. I love it. I love it. All right, so. Okay, last two questions. Okay. Actually, I'm gonna go for the last one because you both are big on this. I've heard from Benny. What's the other person's most memorable gift they got you?

[Selena Gomez]

That he's given me. Right?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Benny Blanco]

So the most memorable one she gave me.

[Jay Shetty]

Correct.

[Benny Blanco]

Okay.

[Selena Gomez]

Oh, there's so many.

[Jay Shetty]

But yeah, the one. There's no right answer.

[Benny Blanco]

I don't mind right off the bat.

[Selena Gomez]

This is just the only one that I can think of, but there's so many.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Selena Gomez]

Oh, sorry.

[Jay Shetty]

You saw his.

[Selena Gomez]

No, I didn't. I just saw, like, a word.

[Jay Shetty]

I love the commitment. I'm so impressed. It's amazing. You're the best. That's like. All right, three, two, one. Who's going to. All right, talk about. Okay.

[Selena Gomez]

Oh, that was good one.

[Jay Shetty]

Okay, explain, guys.

[Selena Gomez]

This one is a picture from the set of Will and Grace. I thought it was extremely thoughtful because that's one of my favorite shows and you can see it in the background of almost all the episodes.

[Benny Blanco]

No, no. I got her an actual piece of art that's in Will and Grace from the set.

[Selena Gomez]

Yeah, I got what they have.

[Benny Blanco]

I knew the guy. My. My friend Satsig wrote it. And I got her for one of her birthday presents, I got her an actual painting that's hung up in Will and Grace. And when I gave it to her, the day I gave it to her, she was watching Will and Grace and it was on the tv.

[Selena Gomez]

This is so cool.

[Jay Shetty]

That's a great gift.

[Benny Blanco]

And mine's a framed picture of our first text where we fell in love. Like, the first one where we decided we were gonna go out on that date, she framed it and, like, made this, like, cute. She, like, made, like, like, did all these designs.

[Selena Gomez]

It's like macaroni and, like, glitter.

[Jay Shetty]

It was so cute. That's a great gift, guys.

[Benny Blanco]

You guys, that was one of them.

[Jay Shetty]

Amazing. Selena and Benny, you are truly two of the most special people. I'm so glad you found each other.

[Selena Gomez]

Thank you.

[Jay Shetty]

And I am always rooting for you guys. I'm forever in your corner in every possible way. I love you both deeply and know that I'm always rooting for your love.

[Selena Gomez]

And so thank you so much.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. Genuinely so grateful for you.

[Selena Gomez]

Hey, He. Do you want me to get you out of these boards?

[Jay Shetty]

Are you writing more? What are you wr? Come on. I expected a heart or, like, a hug or some sort of emoji I'm gonna buy.

[Selena Gomez]

Now I know what I'm getting you for your birthday. He's obsessed with these things.

[Jay Shetty]

Thank you. I love it. You can take them home.

[Selena Gomez]

Well, we love you. Thank you for having me.

[Benny Blanco]

Thank you so much.

[Jay Shetty]

Thank you so much. I hope that allowed you to share everything you wanted to share.

[Benny Blanco]

It felt so good.

[Selena Gomez]

You guys are the best.

[Jay Shetty]

I love it. Easy. We did it. Thanks, guys. You guys are so fun.

[Benny Blanco]

How was that?

[Jay Shetty]

If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.

[Selena Gomez]

My fears are only going to continue to show me what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom, and I just want to keep doing that.

[Benny Blanco]

This podcast is supported by BetterHelp, offering licensed therapists you can connect with via video phone or chat. Here's BetterHelp, head of clinical operations, Hes Yu Jo discussing who can benefit from therapy.

[Selena Gomez]

I think a lot of people think that you're supposed to be going to therapy once you're, like, having panic attacks every day. But before you get to that point, I think once you start even noticing that you feel a little bit off and you can't maintain this harmony that you once had in relationships, that could be a sign that maybe you want to go talk to somebody. There's always a benefit in talking to someone because we can all benefit from improved insight about ourselves and who we are and how we behave with other people. So if you're human, that's like, a good indicator that you could benefit from talking to somebody.

[Benny Blanco]

Find out if therapy is right for you. Visit betterhelp.com today. That's betterhelp.com please.

[Jay Shetty]

Welcome aboard the Johnson family. The whole fam's here for the Disney cruise. So you. You know, we came to play and Listen, the adults are gonna have a ball. First we're chilling in the infinity pool.

[Benny Blanco]

Onto massages at Sense's Spa, then gliding.

[Jay Shetty]

Into Star Wars Hyperspace Lounge for a toast. We're even gonna kick back with Mickey on Disney's private island. That's how we get down. Cause Disney Cruise Line is where we came to play. When you haven't found love, it can.

[Benny Blanco]

Feel like everyone else has. It's in every movie, every song song and all the PDA looking for love sucks. Thankfully, California Psychics can give you the guidance you need to find the one.

[Jay Shetty]

We guarantee if your reading isn't life.

[Benny Blanco]

Changing, it's free and new customers receive 20 minutes for just $20. Visit californiapsychics.com and experience the joy of certainty. California Psychics.