TRAVIS BARKER: "My Biggest Fear Actually Happened"

Summary

Podcast Summary: On Purpose with Jay Shetty (Host: Lewis Howes) Episode: TRAVIS BARKER: "My Biggest Fear Actually Happened" Date: August 10, 2026

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Episode Overview

This powerful and deeply personal episode features an in-depth conversation between Lewis Howes and Travis Barker, legendary drummer of Blink-182. Travis opens up about his childhood, the loss of his mother, his rise in music, coping with addiction, the trauma of surviving a fatal plane crash, and how he rebuilt his life through resilience, love, and healing. The episode is rooted in themes of facing your fears, overcoming loss, holding onto purpose, and finding new meaning through family and music.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Childhood & Early Musical Influence (04:01–11:32)

• Parental Support & Discipline:

  • Travis reflects on how his parents required him to practice drums for hours daily, which cultivated his discipline and confidence.
  • "Just like the first time I played drums and the love I had for drums and the love my parents had for me drumming, that was the magic of it all." (04:12, Travis)

• Exploration of Passion:

  • Travis feels drumming was both a natural talent and a product of relentless effort.
  • Reinforces importance of being pushed lovingly by family.

• Musical Growth:

  • Mentions learning piano later in life and the role of early drum instructors.

Coping with Loss and Adversity (11:32–17:32)

• Mother’s Death as a Pivotal Moment:

  • Travis’ mother died a day before he began high school, a loss he describes as shocking and life-defining.
  • "She had actually said to me, like, you have to just focus on music, focus on being a drummer, like, play drums. So I kind of took the message and, you know, just dove into that." (14:17, Travis)

• Channeling Grief:

  • Drumming became his emotional anchor and way to honor his mother’s dream.
  • Early bands, practice, and finding creative outlets followed.

Early Career Choices & Finding Purpose (17:32–21:32)

• Making Sacrifices:

  • Contemplated joining the military or doing conventional work before taking a risk on music, supported by friends.
  • "My friend said, I really, really feel like you have so much talent, Trav. You can't waste your talent. You can get a job anytime." (17:32)

• Defining Success:

  • Travis notes that making a living through music, not fame, was his win.

Stepping into Blink-182 & Being Ready for Opportunity (21:32–25:14)

• Serendipitous Transition:

  • Tells the story of filling in for Blink-182’s drummer on short notice and impressively learning 20 songs in an hour.
  • "I learned all the songs. Yeah, it was crazy. ...I just sat with them and played in a room." (22:59, Travis)

• Power of Preparation:

  • Stresses importance of “staying ready” rather than “getting ready.”

• Band Success & New Challenges:

  • Describes the surreal transition from obscurity to international recognition.

Mental Health, Addiction & Family (27:04–33:08)

• Struggles with Touring:

  • Candidly discusses anxiety around flying, pressures of touring, and how separation from family led to self-medicating.
  • Attachment to being a present father; touring was both a dream and a hardship.

• Maintaining Skills:

  • Persistent practice and self-discipline remain central in his life.

Band Dynamics, Break-Ups, and Reunions (33:08–37:13)

• Complex Band Relationships:
  • Band breakups and solo periods were emotionally complicated and intertwined with family obligations.
  • The narrative of resilience and reunion becomes a recurring Blink-182 theme.

Creative Collaboration and DJ AM (37:13–41:48)

• Magical Collaborations:

  • Talks about working with DJ AM, calling their connection “magical.”
  • "For someone who grew up loving every genre of music, I would say I was happily confused. It was the best, the most fulfilling musical experiment ever." (38:27, Travis)

• Addiction & Friendship:

  • Travis was functional in his addiction; AM was a positive influence, supportive, and pushed him toward sobriety.

The Plane Crash (42:09–53:36)

• The Crash Experience:

  • Recounts the tragic 2008 crash in vivid, harrowing detail.
  • "My biggest fear is happening, which still, it feels like a movie to me." (46:59, Travis)

• Impact and Aftermath:

  • Suffered severe burns (70% of his body), endured multiple surgeries, survivor’s guilt, depression, and suicidal ideation.
  • The healing process was excruciating both physically and emotionally.

• Coping with Survivor’s Guilt:

  • Losing close friends and bandmates compounded the trauma; honoring their memory became a motivation.

Healing, Recovery & Rediscovering Life (54:03–74:16)

• Facing Fear & Returning to Flight:

  • Didn’t fly for 20 years until breathwork, therapy, and family needs sparked a return.
  • "Not flying has so much power over you. Like, it has power over your whole life, where you go, how you travel." (73:21, Travis)

• Role of Family and New Love:

  • Falling in love again with Kourtney Kardashian, welcoming new child Rocky, and embracing fatherhood as a second chance at life.

• Sobriety:

  • Burn center experience served as an involuntary but crucial rehab.
  • "My plane crash was my rehab, my... my time to get sober." (71:41, Travis)

• Acceptance:

  • Learns to accept the trauma and loss as parts of his identity, not things to glorify or hide from.

Blink-182 Legacy and Meaning (74:51–77:53)

• Band Resilience:

  • Emphasizes importance of never taking the band for granted, parallels band dynamics to a marriage.

• Message to Listeners:

  • Underscores dream-chasing, facing fears, and using adversity as fuel for growth.
  • "It's okay to dream and you will succeed and you can't give up. It was just hard work. It was hard work and determination and being relentless." (76:44, Travis)

Final Five: Notable Quickfire Answers (81:20–82:43)

• Best Advice: “Find something you love and find a way to get paid for it.” (81:24)
• On Fatherhood: “Being present, not like buying them things, but being present. Like putting the time in with your son or your daughter.” (81:46)
• Life Philosophy: Always smile and say hello – small gestures can have enormous impact. (82:07)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “My biggest fear is happening, which still, it feels like a movie to me.” (46:59, Travis)
• “The hardest thing... There was no light at the end of the tunnel. I was just looking for something.” (57:43, Travis)
• "I was struggling with survivor's guilt. That was hard to comprehend, like, how I was supposed to be. It wasn't actually until recently where I could finally be like, okay, live in their honor and do what would make them proud." (53:45)
• “I never want to go back to have nothing.” (25:17, Travis)
• “Breathwork definitely helped me. The power of love with my wife and my children helped me, but I also feel like they helped me, and they're with me, and that's why I fly again.” (63:40, Travis)
• "We all have a fear that's owning us. All of us, all of us have one...the hard stuff's the good stuff, you know." (78:22, Travis)

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Important Timestamps

• Early Memories & Parents: 04:12–07:27
• Mother’s Death & Grieving: 11:53–15:41
• Decision to Be a Musician: 15:48–21:21
• Joining Blink-182: 22:54–25:14
• Addiction & Touring Stress: 27:04–33:08
• Plane Crash Recounted: 42:19–49:36
• Recovery & Survivor’s Guilt: 50:05–54:00
• Facing Fear of Flying: 54:03–74:16
• Band Reunion & Message: 74:51–77:53
• Final Five/Advice: 81:07–82:43

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Thematic Conclusion

Travis Barker’s story, as told in this episode, is ultimately about unimaginable loss, survival, resilience, and reclaiming life. It’s a testament to the power of love—both given and received—the importance of facing your greatest fears, and the ongoing journey of healing. His openness and rawness offer hope, not just to fans or musicians, but to anyone struggling with adversity or self-doubt.

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For Listeners:

If you’re seeking a story of overcoming, of living with purpose beyond tragedy, and finding hope and passion on the other side of pain, this conversation delivers both insight and inspiration in Travis’s own candid, conversational voice.

Transcript

[Host]

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[Lewis Howes]

is my favorite place in la.

[Travis Barker]

Amazing. Amazing.

[Lewis Howes]

Ever since I moved here eight years ago it has been my favorite restaurant is where I take all my friends whether they eat meat or don't eat me. And it is easily, easily hands down the best vegan restaurant in the world.

[Travis Barker]

So I love to hear it. Yeah, that's I really feel like it is one of the best vegan restaurants in LA for vegans and non vegans Just. Just good food.

[Lewis Howes]

I agree. Good vibes, too.

[Travis Barker]

Ye. Good vibes.

[Lewis Howes]

Beautiful atmosphere. The staff is amazing. Shout out to Miriam. She's incredible.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah, Miriam's awesome. Paul is the. Is the goat.

[Lewis Howes]

Hey, it's Jay. I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute, and I hope you're being a little patient with yourself because you deserve it and. Yeah, I'll talk to you soon.

[Advertiser Voice]

Foreign.

[Host]

Travis Barker.

[Lewis Howes]

Welcome to On Purpose.

[Travis Barker]

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

[Host]

It's good to finally meet you. I feel like I've missed you a

[Lewis Howes]

couple of times in the same room or not really come across you, but getting to watch this documentary and getting to experience you in such an intimate way. I just wanted to say, first of all, thank you for making it and thank you for allowing us in. And I really hope that this interview allows you an opportunity to share the inner workings and the inner dialogue that you've been experiencing for the past few decades of entertaining us, but also living life. But, yeah, thank you for putting that together.

[Travis Barker]

Oh, thank you for. For watching it and, you know, being a part of this whole process of talking about it.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. And I want to start by saying I was just sharing with you outside.

[Host]

When I sit down with someone, Travis,

[Lewis Howes]

I'm always fascinated by who we were and how we became. And so one of my favorite questions to ask people is, what's a childhood memory that you have that you think defines who you are today?

[Travis Barker]

Just like the first time I played drums and the love I had for drums and the love my parents had for me drumming, that was the magic of it all, really. You know, and then my parents being so at the time, probably a little hard on me, disciplining me to, like, practice all the time, which was the best thing they could have ever done for me. You know, I think some parents. Parents feel bad to try to motivate their children to practice something they love doing or even something they share with them. I want to be good at this. I mean, the best thing my parents could have done is say, like, oh, then you got to practice. You got to practice two hours every day before you go skateboarding or go ride BMX bikes. That was everything to me. That's what gave me so much confidence as a child. Without that, I'd have been. Think about it. I would have been lost. It shaped me. It was everything, you know?

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I remember. So I loved the drums growing up, too.

[Travis Barker]

Oh, cool.

[Host]

But I was.

[Lewis Howes]

I think my parents were More the opposite. They hated me making a racket in the house. It is because it's a racket.

[Travis Barker]

Your parents, you got to have the coolest parents ever because it's so loud, it's so noisy. But I think about, like, the different paths that I went down. Like, I loved skateboarding. And I have early memories of my dad. There was this place called Pick and Save Warehouse. And we would go, everyone would go. There was no Internet then. There was no. Everyone just knew on Sundays you go to Picket State Warehouse, someone's going to break the chain link fence and we're all going to go skateboarding in this ditch. And my pops used to take me. So just doing stuff like that, like as a parent and those early memories of your parents supporting what you want to do is everything. I was loud. Like, my neighbors hated us. They were constantly calling the police on us. And my parents were just so good about it. Yeah, they were so determined for me to be a drummer.

[Lewis Howes]

I was rebelling because my parents wanted me to play the piano. And I was like, I want to do drum kit. Like, I want to play the drums. And so I shifted my classes over to play percussion. And it was so much fun. It was just the type of music I listened to, which was mainly hip hop and rap at the time. I feel like it didn't really allow for me to explore my drumming capabilities as much.

[Travis Barker]

I would play, like, everything from Beastie Boys albums to, like Public Enemy, whatever. I was listening to Run DMC when I was a kid. And then I would also be listening to, like Motorhead, Metallica, King diamond and learning all those songs. My parents wanted the same thing. They're like, you could play piano, though it's way quieter. You could play Beatles songs for us, whatever it was. But I thought piano was so lame compared to drums. But piano's a great instrument. Everyone should, if they could learn how to play the piano, because it's the best. It's just great for songwriting. Understanding chords, keys, like everything, it's just great. It's great for songwriting. So I wish I would have played more piano. Ironically, I'm learning how to play piano again now. But drums were way cooler in band. Drums were the coolest people in the band by far. Not because I was a drummer, but the horn players weren't cool. The flute players, no one was cool. The drummers were cool.

[Host]

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[Lewis Howes]

How did you actually get good back then? Like, did you go classes? Did you train yourself?

[Host]

Was it just through listening?

[Lewis Howes]

Like, how did you actually get as

[Host]

good as you are?

[Travis Barker]

My parents making me practice for one.

[Lewis Howes]

How many hours, like would they usually like?

[Travis Barker]

At least one to three hours a day. Wow. If I wanted to go out and skateboard and do all the things I wanted to do at the time, you just leave the house and you come back before it's. You need to go to sleep, you know. My parents also got me this drum instructor named Ed Will when I was a kid and he taught me how to read music. So I learned, I was learning jazz charts, learning all these cool songs that my parents loved. Taught me about Buddy Rich, some, some great jazz musicians, Miles Davis. But then when it came time to be like, hey, I want to learn Jump by Van Halen or whatever it was, the teacher was like, I'm not teaching you that. That's not music. So that was on me. So I learned how to read music, which was really valuable for when I got into orchestra or marching band or jazz band. But everything else I needed to teach myself. So I was self taught. And it would just be a matter of putting on records and even learning like rap records. Cause that was the same thing. I was listening to the Far side Tribe Called Quest. All that music was really, really like what I would go skateboarding to. Also skate videos would show me so many styles of music I didn't know about, whether it was like thrash bands or punk bands or or hip hop artists. So I just started learning anything I would listen to.

[Lewis Howes]

How did your mom encourage you for your discovering your passion for music?

[Travis Barker]

The story was I was playing on pots and pans as a kid and I was relentless. I wouldn't stop. And I was just breaking spoons, anything, you know. And I did it so much that they thought maybe we should get him a drum kit. I got an animal drum kit from the Muppets. Played that every day. Wore it out. And she was just like, that he's going to be a drummer. And then her and my dad went on this mission to execute that, that, that dream.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah, it's funny, isn't it, how kids Just love playing on parts and bands. You just, you just had the discipline and the practice and the, you know, obviously the skill and the talent and the gift.

[Host]

Do you believe that your love for

[Lewis Howes]

music and your ability was a gift that you already had and that you

[Host]

found it as it went along, or

[Lewis Howes]

was it something that you feel you just built and developed? Like, how do you see it?

[Travis Barker]

I think both. I think it was natural because it's different. You know, when I think about my kids, Atiana Landon in Alabama, I made them play drums. I was like, if someone hands you drumsticks, you're my kids. You better know how to do something. Even if it's just a little something you gotta. You know, With Rocky, he plays a lot. He's always tapping to the point where he goes to like my wife's mom's house and she's like, we're trying to watch a movie. Why is he tapping? And I'm like, I heard the story afterwards. I'm like, it's because he's a drummer. This is what drummers do. That's what I do all the time. So with me, there's no drummer. There's no one that's a musician in my family. I felt like it was in me. And then once it's in you, then it. Then it takes hard work after that.

[Host]

I always like to ask that question

[Lewis Howes]

to someone who's done something at the highest level because I feel like there is a sense of, no, you have a natural talent. Like, for me, I feel I had no natural talent.

[Host]

Like, it was never possible for me

[Lewis Howes]

to get that good. I was okay and I practiced and I worked hard or whatever, but there just wasn't that natural ability that was, you know, gifted to me. That was there.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah, I don't know, I think it was like it was written, you know, Also, I didn't thank God that they pursued that and they. And they really kind of like pushed me to practice a lot because like I said, I'd hate to be lost just a grown up and not have anything I was passionate about or like that I felt like I was good at. Life would have been crazy.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. I assume it gave you a lot of confidence as well, right?

[Travis Barker]

It did. Yeah, it did. After my mom passed away, that's all I focused on, you know, because I knew it was her dream for me to play drums. So I was, I was determined. I was like, I gotta fulfill this dream of my mom's. And when the going got tough, that. That's always what I. That's what I knew how to do.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. Talk to me about that moment. You know, when you're watching the documentary and I mean, this is like the first major loss that you have that kind of becomes this story of your life. Like, talk to me about that moment when your mother passes away a day before you start high school.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

Like, just to walk me through what that even feels like as such a young man and young boy, I mean,

[Travis Barker]

it's hard to even describe. I mean, it came as a shock because I also, at a young age, I didn't. No one. No one sat me down and was like, mom could pass away. No one. No one said those words to me. It was just a matter of. My family was all doing different things. My dad was a steel mill worker at Kaiser still in fontana. He worked 60 plus hours a week. My sister were, I think, in high school and, you know, just graduating. So everyone was kind of doing their own thing. It was my responsibility to get on my BMX bike and ride it to the hospital every day. So that's kind of like how things were. And, yeah, I just went one time and it was like mom passed away and I was just broken. You know, my reality now is so different, but, like, for that, it was like my dad still went to work the next day and he still had to pay bills. I still went to school. It was like just no grieving, just head down, fists up and just, you know, power through life. That's kind of what it was like.

[Lewis Howes]

So you never even got to be with her when she was passing away. This was like you got there and found out.

[Travis Barker]

I got there right before she passed away. So, yeah. And I think I just would, like, grieve on my own, but never really had any, I don't know, like, structure or maybe talk to someone either. Did my dad. I don't think anyone knew how to deal with what just happened, you know, it was difficult.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. I'm so sorry for your loss, man.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah, thank you.

[Lewis Howes]

I mean, it's the worst thing that could possibly happen, no matter what age you are, and to go through it that young. Do you remember the last conversation you ever did have with her? Before that moment?

[Travis Barker]

She had actually said to me, like, you have to just focus on music, focus on being a drummer, like, play drums. So I kind of took the message and, you know, just dove into that. So there's never a good time for that to happen. Like, I just. I had like, a tour manager who. Who's a grown man and his dad just passed away and I'm like, there's no age where it's okay or it feels better. It just. It's terrible.

[Lewis Howes]

It's amazing that that's what she said to you there.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah, I think that that. That stuck with me, so. It was so loud to me to where I just, like, started school. I had missed summer band camp where because drumline gets a little more serious in high school, people are working like six weeks during the summer, just learning all these rudiments, and all these things are going to be tested on to figure out who gets first snare. So I missed all of it. I got handed the music the first day of school, and I said, please, just let me try out. Made drumline, made snare, made snareline, joined jazz band, joined orchestra. Started taking out multiple, like, band wanted in magazines, like where I grew up called Mean Street. Also things like drummer looking for punk band, drummer looking for metal band. I literally made one for every style of music I loved.

[Lewis Howes]

No way.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah. It was just like, people would be flying in from Texas to come jam with me in my bedroom, and that's when I just started forming bands.

[Lewis Howes]

How supportive it was, your dad after your mom passed away, he was always

[Travis Barker]

as supportive as he could be. Like I said, he was working all the time. He was also in another relationship. So it was like, man, I think everyone was having a hard time, but no one. I think everyone was grieving in their own way. He was always so supportive of my music. I literally had bands that were. That I would start and we'd be practicing in the garage. Police would be constantly coming. But it could be worse. I could be whatever, getting in trouble with my hoodlum friends where I grew up, whatever, you know. So I think he always was just like, you know, as I got a little older, like right when I was graduated high school and I was working jobs, he's like, yo, you gotta get out of this garage and like, make something of yourself. Like, this is either gotta take off or I think you should join the military. Like I did. I go in the army or get a better job and start paying rent if you're going to live here. I actually contemplated. I was like, maybe I will just quit playing drums. Maybe I will join the military or I'll get a job. Ended up applying for a job. I was working at Target in the garden center at the time. And then I got an opportunity to work at the distribution center. I called my buddy Noel, who was in this band. I was playing in a punk band called Feeble. I said, I think I'm going to take this job. Think I'm going to stop playing drums. He said, I really, really feel like you're. You have so much talent, Trav. You can't waste your talent. You can get a job anytime. Come stay with me in Laguna Beach. I'll try to get you a job at the city being a trash man if you're down. But I think you're going to look back on this. You're going to regret it. Like you have. You're too talented to go get a job.

[Lewis Howes]

That's a great friend.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah. Saved my life.

[Lewis Howes]

So did you ever become a trash man in Laguna Beach? Did you ever?

[Travis Barker]

I did. I told my pops, I said, I'm. I'm moving to Laguna. He's like, okay. He gave me three ultimatums. I took one. So I moved to Laguna. Stayed in Noel's apartment. There was always a few people staying there. It was like a one bedroom, just like studio apartment. Was a trash man. Played in this band called Feeble out there. And life was good. Life was great. I'd never been somewhere so beautiful. Is Laguna Beach. That was paradise to me. I was skateboarding every day. I was playing music, playing the drums every day. From the time I woke up to the time I went to sleep. If I wasn't working, it was honestly the best thing for me.

[Lewis Howes]

What did you learn by being a trash man at that age?

[Travis Barker]

I was like, man, people in Laguna beach have a lot of money. I'd never really been there. I was like, these are the best houses ever. I think the first day on the job, I was literally like what they call a downtown rat. Like I'm litter picking downtown, like people's cigarettes, just whatever's on the ground. And then cleaning trash can lids. And my first day, there was a hundred dollar bill on the top of a trash can. Probably someone with too much money was empty in their pockets. So there was like gems like that, you know, I was literally with my best friends that all lived where I grew up in Fontana that had transplanted to Laguna. So it was pretty awesome. And then just learned, you know, no crash. Better crash course of being in a band than eat, sleep and breathing being in a band. Whether it's like paying for our demo to go make a demo, going and printing up flyers for our next show, flyering. It was like everything you do when you want to be a band, plus just your normal job, it was, it was awesome.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow. Hearing about, you talk about it at that time and when you're seeing in the doc, it's like, from the outside, you're like, wow, that's stressful. But it's incredible hearing about it from your perspective, where you're like, I'm getting to do what I love. That's the most important thing.

[Travis Barker]

I think all of us, where we grew up, it had its fair share of everything, you know, but you never heard of anyone really making it out of there. There wasn't. It wasn't until we were in Laguna that. That we saw some, like hope or me at least. Cause I didn't even dare dream. Like, I want to be a successful drummer. I used to say it in. In everything, actually, when I was, like, from the time I was in grade school till high school, they'd be like, what do you want? What college do you want to go to? What do you want to be when you get older? And I would put drummer. And my counselors would just laugh at me and be like, what are you talking about, drummer? No, like, what do you. What college do you want to go to? And I would say like, my. My dad doesn't have money for college. I don't have any money for college. I'm just going to focus on music. I'm going to play music at whatever level that is. Just to be able to, like, do it sort of was. I just couldn't believe it. I had already somewhat made it because I moved out of the house and I was playing music and just living outside of my dad's house. And I felt like he was proud, you know?

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. It wasn't about the fame and success. It was just about the love of the art.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah. It never was for me. Like, what I wanted was attainable. I wanted to play music, play drums, and have enough money to eat somewhere to sleep and survive.

[Lewis Howes]

I think it's interesting, isn't it? Like, I think about that today. I feel like there's such a pressure on young people to make it and do something with their life. But often I think about in my own world as well. I feel like for me, I was just happy getting to do what I love.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

And that was it. That was enough like it. And I'm grateful that it's gone beyond that.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

But that was the win. The win was, if I can do what I love every day, then that's good enough for me.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah. I think as long as it starts with that, like, do something you love. I like that. Am used to always say it. He's like, find something you love and find a way to get paid for it. That's the goal, you know, and it doesn't even feel like you're working.

[Lewis Howes]

How did Blink 182 come into your life?

[Travis Barker]

People was playing with a lot of other bands. And there was this punk band named bhr. And the bass player of that band had said, hey, I have this other band. You should come play with this. It was the Aquabats. I was like, sure. Like, just give me the. Give me the record, whatever. I'll learn. It gave me the record. The next week I played with them. I became their drummer. They were. They were kind of, like, really popular. They were getting really popular. It was like ska, new wave, punk. It was really cool. It was a cool band. I was touring with that band with Blink 182, opening for them on a tour called Snowcore Tour. It was like. It was Aquabats, Blink, the Alcoholics, that rap group, and Primus. Oh, and Long Beach Dub All Stars. Right after Bradley had passed, we started doing some solo shows with Blink. Their drummer took off right before a show one day. It was like 45 minutes before their show, and they were about to lose money because they weren't gonna play the rest of the shows on the tour. They came to me, and I would hang out with them a lot. Cause we were just. We had a lot in common, like skateboarding and listening to the same music. He said, man, is there any way you could learn, like, 20 songs so we could play this show tonight and maybe the next few shows if it goes well? I learned all the songs.

[Lewis Howes]

Is it right that you Learned all of Blink 182's songs for tour in an hour backstage?

[Travis Barker]

Yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

That's crazy.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah, it was crazy. I just sat with them and played in a room. Like, I didn't have drums or anything, but just. We just jammed, kind of, like, air drummed, and I listened and watched everything. Wow. Yeah. And then played our first show. It was incredible. It was incredible.

[Lewis Howes]

Did you make any mistakes?

[Travis Barker]

I was so dialed in, and I was so. I was so on a zone to, like, pull this off. Also, like, I feel like the way I grew up and the discipline I had, even on myself, even after my mom passed away, was to, like, not get ready, but to stay ready and be ready for, like, situations like that.

[Lewis Howes]

Did you feel scared at all?

[Travis Barker]

Of course. I mean, before every show, like, to this day, if I go play a show, there's, like, a good kind of scared. Like a good nervous energy, like, you want to kill it.

[Host]

Yeah, you can.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah. So the next three shows were amazing. And then they had come to me and said, we love playing with you. Like, would you. Would you consider being in our band? It was kind of like a girl approaching you, but she's still in a relationship, sort of. And I was like, well, if something happens to your drummer, like, hit me up. I'd love to. You know, I love playing with you guys. And then maybe a week or two later, it was my first show, and the rest is history.

[Lewis Howes]

I love what you said about staying ready and being ready for an opportunity like that, because all of us may get an opportunity like that sometimes in our life, and if we're not ready, you miss the audition. You don't show up to set, you don't turn up to the interview, you say no to the introduction. And then your whole life takes a different trajectory just because you weren't ready and you didn't stay ready.

[Travis Barker]

I'm still like that. I'm still. I'll be practicing sometimes, and my kids are like, why are you practicing? I'm like, I practice every day, like, if there's, you know, even now, unless time doesn't permit. And I'm just really, really. You know, I have so much going on with the kids, but I'd love to have an hour or two. But if I don't get it, like, last night, I didn't have much time. I was with the kids. I was, you know, went to go see my dad and went to my nephew's birthday, and then it was like, I still got 15 minutes in right before I went to bed. My wife's like, are you on the treadmill practicing? And I'm like, yes, I'll be right in. But, yeah, it just. It feels good. And for me, like, the days I don't practice, something feels off.

[Lewis Howes]

What does practicing look like now? Like, what are you practicing?

[Travis Barker]

It's all sorts of different things. Like, I'm actually getting ready to play the 50th anniversary for the Ramones.

[Lewis Howes]

Oh, that's cool.

[Travis Barker]

It's like me, Tim Armstrong from Rancid, Billy Joe from Green Day. It's gonna be awesome. So I'm. I'm about to start practicing that, but then while I'm working on albums, I just. It's like, keeping your chops up. It's almost like running three to five miles every day because, you know, a marathon's coming up.

[Lewis Howes]

Yes, yes.

[Travis Barker]

You just keep, you know, kind of a small workload always.

[Lewis Howes]

What was that like those first few shows, the first couple of years for Blink 182? I mean, that must have been a dream. Come true.

[Travis Barker]

I played those three shows, and I came home, and I remember I went to go see my pops, and my pops is. He's the best. He's always been really hard on me, but it also 1000% made me the man I am today. You know, my dad was in Vietnam. He wrote a Harley Davidson all his life. You know, he's just. He's a man's man, you know? I remember I got home and I said, pal, I just made, like, 3,500 bucks, played three shows. He's like, you better keep it, because you probably won't make it again. That was, like, his attitude, you know, I think also where I came from, our family didn't have money. So I think my work ethic also is always, like, keep pushing, because I never want to go back to have nothing. You know, I never want to be there again. And I pride myself in being able to, like, buy my dad a house, buy my sisters, buy my family's houses, make sure they're all taken care of. So it was unreal, those shows. Like, it seemed like a dream, you know, Like I was just waiting for someone to smack me and wake me up because it was, like, too good to be true.

[Lewis Howes]

When did it start to take a toll on you mentally? Like, when. When did it start to feel different?

[Travis Barker]

There never came a time where. Where I didn't love playing in the band. I love Mark and Tom. Even before I was in the band, I loved hanging out with Mark and Tom. Even though I was in the Aquabats, I would hang out with them, too. We had a lot in common. All of the Aquabats were surfers, skateboarders, musicians. I think with Mark and Tom, it was the same way. Even though we weren't in a band, I was hanging with them a lot. So I. I loved playing in a band with them. I don't think it was until, you know, when I got in the band. We're traveling around in a van, we're sleeping on people's floors, and, you know, the band's popular, but we're not. We're not flying every day, or do you know, it was a. A young punk band also. There's no punk bands that really were successful. I think Green Day was successful, like, right before us. And that was. That, once again, was. Seemed unattainable. That's not even it. It's so out of reach. We didn't even think we could be anywhere close to that. And then recorded Enema the State. Things took off. We're flying from like radio show to the next radio show to the next radio show. Sometimes two flights in a day. I was still okay. I didn't like flying. I never loved flying. I saw my mom at a young age. Like when I flew to Chicago. I'd only been on a plane one time and I saw my mom really reacting to the flight and being really upset because of the turbulence and I could tell she was afraid. So I didn't love flying. I really didn't look forward to it. Then after I had Landon and I had met Landon's mom and Atiana, things started like kind of wearing on me a little bit. Like I have to go on tour right now or I have to go to play this show and I'm going to be on a plane and I could die and I could not come back to land in Ottiana. And you know, that really started wearing on me. Then mixed with a couple bad flights that made flying worse. That's where things kind of took a fall for me. But it still didn't affect how much I love playing in the band. But I found I found myself like self medicating in order to leave my children and, you know, just fly.

[Lewis Howes]

At what point were you introduced to drugs?

[Travis Barker]

Probably right around the time of take off your pants and jacket. Like between enema and take off your pants. And it just started with like a Norco or a painkiller just to like mellow me out. But it would get tricky because I couldn't really take them before shows. It was like the opposite of my playing style. Like crazy give it all like, so I'd have to be really selective when I could do it. And then it got worse and worse. After Alabama was born and it would be long periods of time being in Europe or Australia or Japan for two months, that's when I kind of just had to medicate to stay to even keep myself on tour and forget that I was away from the kids or whatever else, you know, I had this

[Lewis Howes]

reflection a few years ago and it's nothing compared to what musicians do. I went on my first world tour and it was 40 cities. So it was like 40 cities across. I think it was like across three months. I was in a different city every other day. And we went everywhere from Australia to Europe to Dubai to India to all across North America. But I know music tours are like crazy long. And I was older when I was doing it. Like I went three years ago, I was 35 years old and I'm like, God, if I was doing this any younger, I Totally. See how this messes up everyone and leads them towards some sort of coping mechanism. Because I was like, this is hard, and this is tough. Like, being on the road for this

[Host]

long, you couldn't really tell because I

[Lewis Howes]

think when you see your favorite artist on stage, obviously it looks like they're having the best time of their life and everything's amazing.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

And not realizing that, the travel, the staying in a hotel, the loneliness, the everything else that comes with it.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah. You just said it, like. And I never thought about it, but hotels by yourself, for being on tour, long periods of time are lonely.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah.

[Travis Barker]

And then you pinch yourself because you're like, dude, this was like, you didn't even dare to dream this, you know, so you. I'd also struggle with that. Like, I have it made. What am I? You know, like, what is it? And then the struggle between Travis, that's in the band, that's traveling all over the world, that's like, this rock star, Whatever. Whatever anyone thinks of me. And then there's like, Travis is actually, like, Atiana Landon and Alabama's dad. That was just hard. A little bit of identity crisis, I think, you know, because I loved both, but I found myself being gone all the time since I was, like, 21. So, yeah, touring. Touring started to take its toll.

[Lewis Howes]

Even today, when the first thing you came in and you were, like, talking about the kids and you see, you come to life and the joy you feel of being a dad.

[Travis Barker]

Oh, I love it.

[Host]

It's like, yeah, yeah, it just came.

[Lewis Howes]

It was very natural.

[Travis Barker]

I'll always be like, I'm really, really tired, but it's so, so worth it. You know what I mean? I love it all. I mean, I love. I love making music. I love playing drums. I love my children. I couldn't. Like, there's nothing more rewarding than being a parent, you know?

[Lewis Howes]

I like what you're saying about the identity piece, because it sounds like there's almost this friction between. Well, I should be grateful because I'm living the dream.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

Like, I should just be happy about this, but at the same time, it's like, no, I'm on the road and I'm away, and now I'm having to medicate in order to just numb myself.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah. And I've seen people who can be on tour, they can't wait to go on tour to get away from their families and get away from home life. That's not me. Like, I'm like, oh, I love home life. I love my kids. Any chance I get, I'LL bring them all on tour. Like, I'll literally have my whole family on tour. It's the best. But as I got older and once I got sober, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna run three to five miles every morning. I'm gonna go get something to send back home to the family. I'm gonna practice. I'm gonna constantly, like, get better at my skill.

[Lewis Howes]

What was it like afterwards? Like, I think there was a moment. We hear about this in the documentary. Like, from the outside, it looked like everything was made for Blink 1A2. But on the inside, there were different things going on at the time.

[Travis Barker]

I can't pick out one thing. I can't be like, it was this one thing that the band broke up over. I think everyone was in a relationship and had their own families. They had their own priorities, their own goals. I mean, we all had priorities. Like, my children were always my priority. Even when I was smoking weed and doing drugs, I was only really doing that stuff because I was away from them. The minute I got home, I'm like, super dad, you know? I know. Tom says in the documentary, he was like, my wife wanted me to be home, and I need to take my daughter to school. Well, I had three kids at the time that I needed to take to school, you know, but it was just touring too much for the band. And I think Tom also had, like, this. We had done Boxcar Racer together, which was a side band that we did. But I think he also just thought maybe he could do it on his own without the band, and he needed to go try and figure that out. And then the story of our band, which everyone knows and all the fans have lived through, is our band breaks up, and then I get into a plane crash where, you know, and then our band gets back together, then we break up again, and then Mark got sick, and then our band gets back together again. You know, that's why I wrote that song. Like, one more time.

[Lewis Howes]

One more time.

[Travis Barker]

It's literally.

[Host]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff, too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer availability, amount of Discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for Sponsored Jobs. Indeed. Sponsored Jobs helps find quality candidates when you need them most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for like skills, certifications or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute. I've been talking to you. Companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed according to Indeed Data Worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit@ Indeed.com podcast. That's Indeed.com podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire. This is a job for Indeed. Sponsored Jobs. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods where your back to school eats are sorted. First off, they have amazing quality standards with 300 food ingredients banned store wide, no hydrogenated fats, nothing in store has high fructose corn syrup. And there's a great selection of allergen friendly options too. Pick up your easy breakfast of frozen waffles, pack the lunch boxes with organic seedless grapes and baby carrots. Then plate up thin crust pizzas and a family style salad for dinner. After a long day of learning, shop back to school must haves at Whole Foods Market, in store or online.

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[Travis Barker]

band, you know, in a song, before

[Lewis Howes]

we get to the plane crash, which, I mean, yeah, I want to spend a bit of time with that. I feel like we see in the documentary that after the band breaks up, you like successfully pivot into working across different genres. You're working with other artists, other producers. Like you're seeing you go on to, you know, be prolific musically and then one of the people that you collaborate with is Adam Goldstein or DJ am. Talk to me about how that collaboration and connection started and what was that

[Travis Barker]

relationship like when my band had broken up? And at the time I Was out just in LA doing whatever. And I had seen AM spin and it was like at a nightclub. And he literally played every genre. He would go from. He'd play like Dilla into Kelly Clarkson into the Beatles into Nirvana. And I'm like, what? He's like, you're not allowed to do that. And you're not allowed to do that. That good. And everyone's like, jaw dropped. He's just so good. At the time I was playing with TI I had just played with ti TI just got out of prison and. And we opened the BET Awards. I was, I was playing with a lot of rappers right after my band broke up. And then a.m. and I were chopping it up and I was like, I feel like there's this, there's this DJ drummer thing that I envision. I don't. It's never been done before. But I just see you throwing acapellas at me and I'm playing drums, like remixing stuff live with live 808s. I don't know, I just have a vision. We should, we should see, you know. So we came, got a rehearsal space, we jammed for like six hours. Didn't say a word to each other, just spoke through our instruments. It was the best. It was magical. For someone who grew up loving every genre of music, I would say I was happily confused. It was the best, the most fulfilling musical experiment ever. And then we started playing shows, played the MTV Music Awards, like played Coachella. It was so fun.

[Lewis Howes]

That sounds incredible. I mean, you can see you come to life when you talk about it too.

[Travis Barker]

It's like, yeah, it was magic.

[Lewis Howes]

I imagine that's pretty rare in music where like you can collaborate with a lot of people, but then you meet someone and you just. On a different frequency.

[Travis Barker]

We were so similar from like being sneaker heads to collecting vintage T shirts, to being both being girl crazy. Everything at the time, we were, we shared like a brain. Yeah, it was, it was awesome.

[Lewis Howes]

And what was your engagement with drugs like at that time? Like with addiction, Substance abuse, I would call it.

[Travis Barker]

A really well functioning drug addict where I could smoke 10 to 20 blunts a day, take a handful of pills a day, and I'd still go running, I'd still do all my meetings, I'd still go to practice. I was just functioning. Am though, I think was already probably 10 years, 15 years sober.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow.

[Travis Barker]

He'd always be, hey, come to a meeting. You know, I went to a meeting, watched him talk in a meeting one time. It was amazing. It was beautiful. I remember at the time I was, I was contemplating, like, leaving my relationship. I was in this place where I'm on tour, I'm. I'm medicating to be on tour, to leave my children when I get home. My partner at the time wanted, let's go out and party right when I'd get home. And it was the opposite of what I wanted to do. I was never out partying or going out to bars or clubs when I was on tour. I was just self medicating to get through being gone. So when I came home from tour, I never wanted to go out, I never wanted to drink. I just wanted to lock in with the kids. And we were disagreeing a lot. And Adam had said, because I had said, man, I don't know, I think I might be done. And he would challenge me. He would say, you gotta be sober for 48 hours before you make any, like, big decisions. You need to just completely be sober. And then we'd also see this one therapist that also helped with alcohol abuse and narcotics and stuff. So I would go see him. We'd actually go see him together. So he was just such a good influence on me. He was more than just someone I jammed with. He was like a dear friend.

[Lewis Howes]

It's so beautiful to hear about that. And I. I imagine he seems like a good influence too, like a positive.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah, that was the only way we were really different is because I. I wasn't sober.

[Lewis Howes]

I wanted to take you back to September 2008, which you were referring to earlier. And at least in the dock, it feels like it's a typical night. You and Adam are playing a show in South Carolina, I think it was, and then you left for the airport to go home.

[Host]

I want you to take me back

[Lewis Howes]

to that moment in the documentary where, like, you're pulling up to this plane, which is normal for you, but you kind of sense in that moment that something doesn't feel quite right.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

Can you take me back to that moment?

[Travis Barker]

Well, I mean, that show to begin with was like. It was a show that I had like, right before, like that, that weekend. I think it was on a weekend. It was like on a Saturday or Sunday. But when Thursday came around, I had said to my manager, is it too late to just pull out? Like, I don't really need to do this, you know, it was summer, I think, and I was just so content with being home with the kiddos. And he's like, bro, you can't cancel this late, you know? So I ended up flying out there. I had a Pretty good flight out there, honestly. I went with me and little Chris and Che, and it wasn't bad, but it was a planned flight. It was a nicer private plane. I never loved flying on private planes, but I think they had. It was in our deal, you know, So I was like, okay, fly out there. And when I leave and I say bye to Bama, she also calls it. And she's young at the time. She's three or four years old. She's like, dad, don't go. And she's bawling, and she doesn't usually do that. She's like, the roof's gonna come off. The roof's gonna come off. And I'm like, what is she talking about? Like, to the point where I, like, went back in the house. And I was like, what's going on, baby? Like, you know, I get there, play our show, and then we're supposed to leave the next morning. But everyone else that was with me kind of was like, was in a hurry to get home. So we booked a private plane super last minute. There's usually a bunch of hoops to jump through to book me a plane. Because even back then, without an accident, I was like, who's the pilots? Has the plane been maintenanced? What's the. You know, I want to know everything. And none of that stuff happened.

[Lewis Howes]

Oh, it wasn't checked that day?

[Travis Barker]

No. I mean, to the best of their ability. But it was so last minute. And no one's thinking, you know, because at this time, everyone's like, trav, realistically, you're never going to get in a plane crash. Stop. You know, every flight I'd be on, like, Mark and Tom even would be, you know, before that, they'd be like, dude, why are you white knuckling? Like, I would have a rosary that I would hold onto that was my mom's rosary. And I was like, it took everything in me to fly where, like, when we land, I'd be like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I felt like, just so grateful to be, you know, back on land. There was no protocol. I don't believe we just booked something. I think we get to the airport around 11 or midnight. It's foggy. We show up to the airport, we pass by all the. All the planes that are near the Runway at this private airport, and then there's one plane in the distance that's really small, and we pull up to that plane, and I'm like, this. This can't be our plane. There's no way. And then they're like, yep, this is the plane. To the point where I call my dad and show him the plane. I'm like, pal, I have an awful feeling like this. I just. I don't know. This plane's small, pal. I feel weird. And I remember I was like upset where my dad was like, come on, like, you're, you're gonna be okay. Got on the plane. It was one of those planes that's so small that the, the two pilots, like one of the pilots is basically your flight attendant. Closes the door and then goes in the, in the cockpit, you know, and then, yeah, the rest is history. But I knew, I knew before, like, to the point where I was like, something feels off. I even told my dad, if something happens to me, please make sure the kids are taken care of. Please make sure. Like I was saying way too much, like, all the signs were there for, like, now older me would just say, I think I'm not going to get on the plane.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. Trust your body.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah. But everything was there. Everything.

[Host]

And you've always had this fear anyway

[Lewis Howes]

because you don't want to be away from the kids. You were worried that what would happen to the kids if something ever happened to you. And then. But in this moment specifically, you're feeling like this extra weight and heaviness.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah. I even call it out and talk about it.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah.

[Travis Barker]

You know, my dad and saying, like, you're going to be fine. Like, you're going to be good, boy. Like, get on the plane, you know, And I'm like bawling, which is so out of character for me. I'm like, I don't know, pal. Like, I just feel. I don't know. And I never felt like that before.

[Lewis Howes]

Your documentary shows the 911 footage from the night of the crash.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

And we can hear you as well. You've jumped off the plane with almost your entire body on fire. I can't even imagine being, like, conscious in that when the plane's exploding behind you. Like, just walk me through what you can even remember of that horrific moment.

[Travis Barker]

I had self medicated like I always do right before the flight. I was kind of just waiting for takeoff. There's no communication, so no one's gonna be like, okay, we're getting ready to take off because they're all in the front. Chris is sleeping, Chase sleeping. I think Adam's sleeping. I'm wide awake. And then we take off. There's like just a huge loud noise that sounded like gunshots and the plane spirals out of control. We take off, but there's like smoke filling our cabin. We're going up, we're going down, and we're like hitting the Runway and then going back up, hitting the Runway, and there's full fire in the cabin. By then, I was just waiting for lights out. I was like, this is really happening. I just couldn't believe it. My biggest fear is happening, which still, it feels like a movie to me. Even feel real. And I'm just holding on and bracing myself. I have my seatbelt on, obviously, by this time I can't even see in front of me. We keep going up in the air and then we finally go down one last time and we hit an embankment. And I'm still awake and I'm alive and there's fire all around me. So my instinct is to get out of the plane. I try going forward to try to get to AM&CHE, and my hands catch fire, my arms. I'm panicking because I'm on fire. I go to my left, I shake am. AM wakes up and there's no fire near am. I open the emergency exit. I jump right into the jet. That's where all the fuel is. My whole body catches fire. And then I run. I'm like running against the highway and I just strip. I just try taking my clothes off. And after I don't know how many feet of running a long time, I just hear someone go, stop, drop and roll. Which I never thought about once. And I stopped. Drop and roll. AM comes because my socks are just soaked in jet fuel. And he's like, patting out my feet. And a few, I don't know, a few minutes later, the plane blows up. And then that's probably right around the time the police footage, like their dash cam footage is. And then it's, you know, being taken to a burn center and six months in a burn center. It's crazy.

[Host]

This episode is brought to you by Amazon Health. Before this podcast continues, I need you to fill out 37 forms about your listening history. Oh, wait, forget it. That would be ridiculous. Yeah, we all do it every time we need healthcare. But the new Amazon Health AI is different. It can connect your symptoms with your medical history to offer personalized care. 24, 7Amazon Health AI is here. Healthcare just got less painful.

[Lewis Howes]

Even hearing you describe that now, I just get chills because it's just such a. So painful to hear, even. Especially with the other people on, on the plane as well. And then I'm like, what is. What is the first few days and Weeks look like for you in the burn center?

[Travis Barker]

I'm in Augusta first and I remember little things in Augusta. I remember Mark and his wife coming to visit me. I remember my dad being there. I remember kids setting up drum kits outside the hospital. And like I could hear drumming, which was pretty cool. And I was so out of it, but it's amazing, I can still remember that they basically had suggested I get to Grossman Burn center in LA because it was the best burn center and I had about 70% of my body burnt.

[Lewis Howes]

70%?

[Travis Barker]

Yeah. So I got on a bus and I traveled via bus with a doctor and a nurse cause I couldn't fly. Got to Grossman Burn Center. Remember they couldn't get my pain medication right because I was self medicating for so long that their pain medication would do nothing for me.

[Lewis Howes]

So you'd still be in pain?

[Travis Barker]

Yeah. So I was an awful patient. I felt really bad. I was not a great patient in the beginning because I would wake up during surgeries and I wouldn't know what's happening. I thought, I don't know what you think. You think someone's attacking you. You're just in pain. There's all these people around you. So I think I swung on Dr. Grossman who saved my life, you know, So I was like, I was just so out of it. And he later told me, he's like, it's because you had been self medicating for so long, I couldn't get your pain meds right. I was there for a long time. I think I had 30 something surgeries while I was there. I didn't really understand the severity of everything. I didn't know everything that had happened. They had to tell me that Kristen Che passed away in the plane crash. I thought I would ask where they are in the hospital and if I could go see him. I wasn't in a good place and I was so medicated I didn't really know what was going on. So like, yeah, it was hard being in there and missing their funerals.

[Lewis Howes]

Because you were in hospital.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah, I'm in the hospital. And then, then they're like, you know, we might have to, we might have to amputate your foot. So you have all these thoughts when you're able to process your thoughts in there. When I had those moments, I would just be like, what the, you know, like, how, how did this happen? You're just in disbelief, you know. And like when I think about it, I wasn't just a patient that was like 70% burn. I was like, dealing with loss. You know, two of my best friends. I was also like, the trauma of being in a plane crash was like, I was talking to a post traumatic doctor all the time. The thing that would have been probably the most healing would have been to see my kids, but I couldn't see them because I was, like, basically a huge open wound, you know? So it was. It was difficult.

[Lewis Howes]

How long before you saw your kids that time, do you remember?

[Travis Barker]

I think about three. Three months in, I was able to. They were able to come outside on a balcony, and I was able to see them for a little bit. But that was the hardest thing. I felt like as soon as I got out of the burn center, when I was with them, that was like. That was my strength.

[Lewis Howes]

How was it, having been so close to death, like, how did that change how you feel about living?

[Travis Barker]

I was struggling with survivor's guilt. That was hard to comprehend, like, how I was supposed to be. It wasn't actually until recently where I could finally be like, okay, live in their honor and do what would make them proud.

[Lewis Howes]

What changed recently for you to realize that?

[Travis Barker]

I got to a place where, you know, I didn't fly for 20 years, and something hit me one day. I'm like, oh, my gosh. I'm living the whole rest of my life since the plane crash, like, not flying. And I'm like, this thing has, like, so much power over me. If there's, like, one thing I got to figure out, I got to figure that out. I don't even know what to compare it to, but I would wake up and I would think about it.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah.

[Travis Barker]

Whether it would be the band saying, hey, you have, like, this offer to go play here, or. I mean, that's what it. That's what it usually was in the beginning, But I would really. I'd be like, I don't care about any shows. I don't care about whatever. My kids didn't fly. We were. We were like. We were on buses 24, 7 or on boats. I would take the Queen Mary 2 from New York to London. So I was fine with it. But then there was this piece of me that burning inside that was just wanted to fight. And I was, like, so pissed off. And I was like, I can't. I can't die like this, you know? And around the time, not to skip around, but, like, Courtney and I had, like, really connected my wife, and she was like, oh, there's so many places I want to go with you and take you. And I'm like, I Don't fly. You know, in my head I'm thinking, she was so cool. She was like, no, they're all places, like, we can go on your tour bus to or we can drive to. So we were doing that, and then I had a massage therapist that I was working with all the time. She's like, you know, like, I can always, like, give you, like, treatments, but, like, you have a lot of trauma. I can tell by massaging you. You should try doing breath work because you might release all this trauma. And she's like, all the trauma and stuff that you're holding on to can also, like, cause cancer over time. And she just. I don't know, for whatever reason, whatever she said to me, it really stuck. So between, like, breath work, the want and desire for my kids to fly and for me to fly again, I just said it one day. I said to my wife, I said, if you ever have like an idea of somewhere you want to fly that we can't, like drive to or take a boat, just book it. Don't tell me about it and I'll do it. But I don't want to know too much because I don't want to talk myself out of it. So that. That's just what we did. I just said it one day.

[Lewis Howes]

And with the healing, I mean, I feel like being, like you said, an open wound, I mean, and having 70% of your body burned, that sounds like one of the most painful six month healing processes.

[Travis Barker]

It was the worst being on fire or the process of skin grafts. I think we share a little bit of photos in my documentary, but we couldn't include most of it because it's too graphic. It's awful. And it's an awful process to go through all the surgeries and everything. I'm grateful that I got through it all. And Dr. Grossman saved my life. They say when I got in there, it was life threatening. Yeah, grateful. And most of the people I was in the burn center with were kids, which really bummed me out. Just cooking accidents and stuff like that. I just saw the worst stuff. That building I was in is off Van Nuys in Los Angeles, in the Valley. And it's no longer a hospital, but I can drive by there and look at that building and I just. I can just be there.

[Lewis Howes]

You know, there's a quote of yours in the documentary where you say, I was suicidal when I was in the hospital. I'll transfer any amount of money. Just kill me. Talk to me about the darkest day you had as you were recovering and how did you even begin to pull through that?

[Travis Barker]

That was about the time where I found out Che and Chris weren't in another room at the hospital. I had lost it. And then the doctors, not really being able to give me a time when I'd get out, couldn't see my kids amputate my foot. There was, like, There was no light at the end of the tunnel. I was just looking for something, you know? And at the time, I knew. I knew skinhead Rob, who was in the transplants with me or one of my buddies, you know, I was like, just, please, I'll, like, I can't do this. I feel like literally living in hell, you know, Obviously, now when I think back, it's the last thing I'd want to do is be away from my children or go out like that. But it was just desperation. It was like I said, no light at the end of the tunnel.

[Lewis Howes]

Were you and Adam supporting each other because you'd both survived? Was there a. I think he had

[Travis Barker]

about 6% of his body burnt, and he was only burnt because he was nice enough to try to pat me out. And he ended up, like, getting burnt by his neck or something. He was in and out of the burn center in a week, and he was flying again, which I just. I couldn't even believe that. I was like, he's doing what? It also gave me hope, and I was proud of him, but I couldn't even process that he was flying. When we got out, him and I would spend a lot of time just talking about what each of us remembered from the accident. He had also looked into this treatment where we could retrain our brains, where we'd hopefully, like, forget what happened. I think he actually did a treatment, and I had said, there's no way I'm ever gonna look down at, like, my hands, my legs, or forget what happened. Cause I lost and my two best friends. There's not a scenario where I'll forget how they left me, you know?

[Lewis Howes]

I'm sorry for your loss. Again, man. It's. It's unfathomable.

[Travis Barker]

Thank you.

[Lewis Howes]

No one can imagine and really empathize with what that feels like to lose your two best friends in that way.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah, it's like, probably the 10th interview I've done on it. It's like, it gets better every time, but it's like. I don't know. I don't think it'll be something I can ever just talk about and, you know, not be affected by it or something, you know, it's not like, it gets easier every time, but I don't think it'll be ever something I can just breeze through, you know?

[Lewis Howes]

Does it help talking about it and remembering it or remembering them?

[Travis Barker]

Yeah, I mean, I feel like it gets easier every time, but it's still, you know, it's still like a. A wound you open back up.

[Lewis Howes]

I think the hardest part about it all, and I mean, this is, you know, when you're watching the documentary, it's like. And then you find out that Adam passes away, too. It's that moment where you're like, what? Like, how can you possibly live through each and every one of these moments? And, of course, those individuals and the people that love them and the people they loved going through that as well. I'm just that. That part in the documentary for me is like, you know, the worst.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah, it's still the worst for me, too. You know, in the documentary, it starts with my mom, which is still hard. The accident. Chris and Che, obviously, the two pilots, too. And then Adam, the one person who's like, this main character in my life, who's always such an inspiration and so positive and just being a great example, you know, being a great friend and also being sober and trying to get me sober, you know, the whole time we're friends and stuff. It's just. Yeah, it's like the. The worst ending to that movie, you

[Lewis Howes]

know, especially, is because we. We learn in the documentary that he was prescribed to get back on Xanax. Right.

[Travis Barker]

To Flagon. Yeah, it's like what I talked about when I'm in the hospital and he's flying, but I don't know he's been prescribed Xanax, and I don't think anyone around him knows.

[Lewis Howes]

You mentioned survivor's guilt. I was like, how do you even begin to process that at the time? Because you're going through physical pain. There's emotional trauma. There's an intuitive sense that you knew you shouldn't have got on the plane. I mean, and then you've got the loss of friends and a loss of, as you said, the main character friend in your life. Like, it's. It's almost like, how does one person even carry all of this?

[Travis Barker]

When I think about it, I feel like I was just bleeding out at that point. I was like, I was done. You know, it was like I couldn't even get one thing to try to get over before there was. You know, there was, like, there was so much happening all at once. There was my accident. There was, like, the loss of my friends. And everyone in that plane, and then Adam, and then thinking about, like, little Chris's family that he left behind. There was. There was so much thinking of everyone's family, everyone left behind. You know, being a great godfather to little Chris's son, who's my godson, and having a great relationship with Chris's mom, Linda, and Che's mom, thelma, and keeping AM's legacy alive, that's, like, the best I can do, you know, or it feels like I'm working with them, like, honoring them.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah, for sure. I'm happy that you've been able to reframe that to being honoring them, because it's evident how important they are to you and how much of an influence they've had on you and how you carry them in such high esteem. And that's what comes across in the documentary. Even today, as I'm sitting with you, I'm like, yeah, these are people that you deeply, deeply love.

[Travis Barker]

They also, like, give me strength. And I feel like breathwork definitely helped me. The power of love with my wife and my children helped me, but I also feel like they helped me, and they're with me, and that's why I fly again. I say the same thing about my mom. I'm like, there's no way. I got in one of the most successful bands, and I got so blessed to be able to tour the world for, like, the last hour, for many years. Like, I feel like when people pass away, they are with you.

[Lewis Howes]

How do you experience that today? How do you. How do you feel their presence today in that way?

[Travis Barker]

I don't know. I've always felt like that.

[Lewis Howes]

Do you talk to them or. No, that's not.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah, yeah. I always, like, before I go on. On stage or play shows, I always. I have a prayer list that's. That's so long, you know? But when people pass, I feel like they're with me. I don't feel like I ever forget about them or I don't feel like they weren't. They're not here anymore because they usually had such a big effect on my life, you know, left such an impression on me that I keep that with me.

[Lewis Howes]

That fully resonates. And I think you're definitely honoring them by sharing their influence on your life right now.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah, especially with the flying, I was like, if their roles were reversed and it was me, the last thing I'd want to do is see, like, am not fly again. I'd be like, get your ass on that plane. You know what I mean? Like, you can't let that determine the rest of your life.

[Lewis Howes]

What about your life today would surprise Travis from 20 years ago the most?

[Travis Barker]

I've learned to not think I have life all figured out or what can happen or what's possible or not possible. I never thought I would be a new father, you know, so an amazing little human that I. That I am now. I never thought I would be married again or I would have fallen in love again. It's the most, you know, beautiful thing ever. Or I would have children in their 20s, you know, or how things would be. I always say my children in their 20s, there's not an age where it gets old or you don't feel like the same love you have for being their father. It's just sort of never ending. It's awesome.

[Lewis Howes]

I mean, you and Courtney had known each other for years before you ever started dating. What made you know that the timing was right to shift into that phase

[Travis Barker]

of your relationship just like life happened. I can't explain it. It was. We've lived down the street from each other for years, and my life before her was 20 hour studio days. Spend as much time as I can with the kids, get back to the studio. There was no relationship in my life. There was no love in my life. I still felt fulfilled. I felt complete because I got so much love from my children. And I love music. I love music. Music is. I couldn't survive without music. I feel like it's when you're in that kind of flow with life that something like that could happen to you. I would just work out with Kourt. I would see her more and more, almost to the point where you feel so comfortable. It was like, I definitely had stages where I had a crush on her or I, like, thought about her. But then we were seeing each other so often. I was like, oh, I'm also cool with, like, having this really good female friend in my life. That's my workout, you know, friend. And we work out all the time, and we do Halloween together. Christmas. It was. I don't know. There was also nothing broken about what was going on right there. It was. It was already a special relationship. And then I think I was always reluctant to take it to another place because I didn't want to harm such a beautiful friendship I had with her. So she did it. She just said something. She just said something one day and led to us, like, hanging out, you know, and fell in love so quick. We were pregnant within months, you know, with our first baby that we had a miscarriage with. But I always knew. And all my friends knew, too. My friends used to be like you in court when that happens. And her and her friends used to always say that to her, too. But it was undeniable.

[Lewis Howes]

I mean, I've had a lot of friends in the last 12 months go through miscarriages. I mean, that must have been exceptionally difficult as well to go through.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah, I'd never been through one. And we weren't, like, actively trying to have a baby. But when, you know, you have one and you're starting the process of going to the doctors and you're looking at ultrasounds, it's. I mean, anyone who's a mother or father, you know how precious that is. And that whole time, I mean, having a child is a miracle. It makes you. If you don't believe in God, you better start after you have a child, because it's. It's a miracle. You know, that was a hard thing to go through, especially six months into our relationship, but it just made us stronger and kind of really let us know that we wanted a child together.

[Lewis Howes]

Take me to that moment that you and Courtney welcomed Rocky into the world.

[Travis Barker]

You know, I had to come home from Europe about eight months into her pregnancy because they said he couldn't breathe and one of his lungs wasn't working. So I literally had flown to Europe, and I flew back an hour later, and they went and did the surgery where they. They released all the fluid in his lung. And I was saying I. I had prepared for the worst. I honestly thought I was coming home from. From tour to say goodbye. And this one was going to be really hard because he was. He was eight months. You know, I already knew what his name was. I was just preparing. And I had the worst flight from Europe, where we didn't have Internet on the plane. For some reason, they're like, our Internet's not working. And I was like, oh, you gotta be kidding me. You gotta be kidding me. And she was having surgery. I wasn't gonna make the surgery, but I was gonna be there right afterwards. And then he made it through the surgery. I think I was still broken from the miscarriage where I was afraid to get too attached to the idea that he was gonna make it. And then he fucking made it. And it was the most beautiful thing ever. And I'm so. I'm so attached to him. He's. I don't know if it's because he's a Scorpio and he's born the same month as me, but he's. It's just I mean, every one of my children is like a blessing from God, but It's to be 50 years old and have a 2 1/2 year old makes me feel like I'm like 20 all over again. And he inspires me to be better, just like all my children inspire me to be better. When Landon was born, I started running to the freeway and back, started boxing. Like every child has made me better. And there's just nothing like it comes naturally to you.

[Lewis Howes]

It feels like being a dad.

[Travis Barker]

I love being a dad. My parents were so amazing. My mom and dad. I just. It's easy to me.

[Lewis Howes]

What led to your decision to go sober as well? What did that journey look like for you?

[Travis Barker]

When I was in a burn center and I suddenly wasn't self medicating anymore, and I'm on so much morphine and so much drugs, all I could think about is getting out of there and never taking anything again. So I went from self medicating to fly, taking a ton of opiates and smoking a bunch of weed in order to be gone and be on tour and fly and be away from my children to being in a plane crash and having the biggest wake up call in my life. Being in a burn center for six months, having 30 surgeries, being in the worst pain in my life, not being aware of anything for six months because I was on so much meds that when I got out, I never wanted to do anything again. My plane crash was my rehab, my. My time to get sober. It was everything to me.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. Something so life defining.

[Travis Barker]

I don't know where I'd be without my plane crash. It might even still be using drugs, might still be self medicating to fly. I hate my plane crash, but it's also the part of me, like, I can't imagine life without it.

[Lewis Howes]

I think sometimes we have this weird view of turning hard moments into like, oh, that was, you know, and it's like, no, no, no. It's. It was the worst. It was, you know, it's just a part of your life. It'. It doesn't need to be glorified. It's terrible and painful and horrific and people died.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah. I can't think of anything positive out of it. Yeah. I only can say is I now accept it, which took me a long time.

[Lewis Howes]

What was your first plane ride like that you took? After that?

[Travis Barker]

It was to Mexico City with Kort and her mom and her mom's boyfriend. And it was like the smoothest. You know, my documentary almost didn't come out. I Almost didn't let it come out. It was. It was finished in 2017.

[Lewis Howes]

Oh, no way.

[Travis Barker]

The pitch to me for the ending was, can you just go walk on a plane? And at the time, I couldn't, like, the plane. The plane equals death to me. I couldn't even walk near a plane. It equals, like, what almost killed me, what killed two of my best friends. And, like, also had, you know, affected, like, am too. It just. I had so many bad memories. My kids. I went to an aviation field trip with Alabama, and I couldn't walk on the plane. My daughter couldn't even walk on the plane. So when they had pitched that to me, I'm like, that's not.

[Lewis Howes]

I can't.

[Travis Barker]

I can't do that. They're like, well, you have no ending to your documentary, so we'll put my. Put my documentary out when I'm dead. Like, I don't. That's not the ending. That's another thing that triggered me to be like, not flying has so much power over you. Like, it has power over your whole life, where you go, how you travel. So that was, like, really big. When I flew again and my kids flew again, and it was like a major life change. It was like this valve got opened that had been closed for so many years. All these misconceptions of what flying would be like. None of it existed. It was fine. It was the smoothest fight. There was no tragedy. There was no trauma. There was no. No one got hurt. It was like, nothing that I had painted it out to be because of my last experience.

[Lewis Howes]

How did you build the courage up to even walk in again? Was that the breath work?

[Travis Barker]

The sober. Yeah, sober didn't take anything to fly. I did breath work leading up to it. I did breath work about six or seven times leading up to it, which I would just bawl my eyes out for hours, you know, Each time, like, I had no control over it. And I connected with little Chris in it. I connected with my mom. It was so therapeutic for me. And I just got to this place where I told myself, I just gotta have faith. It's just like this fear that I've made up. It doesn't exist.

[Lewis Howes]

You talked about this earlier, about the band, and I had a lyric from One More Time that I love. So you saying one more time Do I have to die to hear you miss me? Do I have to die to hear you say goodbye? I don't want to act like this tomorrow I don't want to wait to do this one more time I feel like, what you were saying of this back and forth and how that song is almost like the heartbeat of the band. I wanted to ask you, like, what does it mean to be able to go back and play with Mark and Tom and have that opportunity and to have had so many moments of splitting up and getting back together?

[Travis Barker]

Oh, it's beautiful. I mean, the band is, like. It's so important to all three of us. And I think now that we're in this position where we've gotten. We've broken up and we've gotten back together so many times, like, you figure out a lot about yourself and you figure out a lot about the other people you. You're either in a marriage with or in a band with. Band's a lot like a marriage. I feel like Blink's gotten to this really, really healthy spot where we understand one another and we'll never take the band for granted again.

[Lewis Howes]

And, of course, Mark's experience as well. It's like, yeah, it's like everyone's going through something in a marriage, in a band, in a team, whatever it may be. And it's almost like everyone's lesson is kind of saying the same thing, which is like, this is rare. When people watch this documentary, which I hope they do for so many reasons that I can think why it's an important watch. Whether they're a Blink 182 fan, whether they're a, you know, Travis Barker fan, and even beyond that, just, I think if you're someone who wants to see someone who's lived and experienced and been resilient through incredible difficulty, I think just from an understanding life point of view, the documentary is powerful. If there was one message that you'd want people to walk away from watching this documentary, what would you say is

[Travis Barker]

the kid who was like me, who didn't have anything, that didn't think things were attainable or almost felt guilty for dreaming. There's parts of my documentary, me being a child and me having this dream to play music that tells you it is possible and it's okay to dream and you will succeed and you can't give up. You know, I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. My parents weren't music executives. It was just hard work. It was hard work and determination and being relentless. I think for anyone who's experienced tragic loss, I think it's beautiful story of not letting it destroy you, but let it make you stronger and just anyone who's afraid, anyone who's, like, living in fear, I feel like It's a good watch, you know, for anyone who wants to kick that fear, you know, and shows you how powerful you can be. And you don't let these things determine you and you don't let them break you. All of it just is life lessons and it makes you stronger.

[Lewis Howes]

I mean, that theme's really come across today of you talking about how much your fear owned you.

[Travis Barker]

It had owned me completely. Had so much power over me. And I was so good just being like this. And I'm like, no, I'm. I'm making records in the studio and my kids are whatever. We're taking boats and we're doing whatever. I. I was just like. But then there's this thing and I'm like, I'm gonna deal with you at some point. I feel like those hard things are like the life changing things. It's hard, but.

[Lewis Howes]

And we all have a fear that's owning us. All of us, all of us have one. And so.

[Travis Barker]

But the hard stuff's the good stuff, you know, it'll be huge. It'll be, you know, monumental if you can face those fears and you just. Yeah, like me personally, my entire life's changed, you know, in a way I never thought was possible.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah, we have to run towards what we're avoiding.

[Travis Barker]

I always say, like, that's why I like running so much. Like some people like kind of waking up, going through their day and just like let bad happen to them and they just take it to the chin, whatever. I'm like, I like running towards it. I like running towards anything I'm afraid of now or I like starting my day with five miles in the morning. I love running long distances. I love, like, I love all the hardships. I've already had enough hard stuff happen. I don't want to be surprised by anything.

[Lewis Howes]

Travis, it's been amazing talking to you today. I've got a couple more questions to end on. I wanted to ask you, what part of your life today would your mom most be proud of?

[Travis Barker]

I think she'd be really, really proud of me executing, you know, her dream for me and my dream for me with music and playing drums. I also think she would really be proud of what kind of father I am.

[Lewis Howes]

That resonates very strongly and I was wanted to ask you, like the. Over the last decade, you've become easily one of the most sought after collaborators working with so many incredible artists. What have been some of your favorite ones that stand out to you in this incredible career and journey?

[Travis Barker]

I mean, DJ AM goes down as like, one of my favorite collaborators ever. And then, of course, there's performances that are, I think were magical. I think the one that's in my documentary, it was like life. It was like one of those moments where I'm like, after this, I'm good. Whatever happens, happens. It was like, me, Eminem, Drake, and Wayne on the Grammys. It was like, are you kidding me? Even in the documentary, when I watch it, I have, like, feel like I have superpowers. I'm like, does this not move you? You know what I mean? Like, I like having those feelings, and I like being part of those feelings that I can watch, and it still gives me that feeling.

[Lewis Howes]

Tell me something about that moment that we may not know or that we may not see.

[Travis Barker]

Grammys has always comes together so fast. There wasn't a bunch of rehearsing or anything. We never rehearsed altogether. I think at the time, I was playing with Eminem here and there. Played a couple shows with them, and I think I rehearsed with him. But that was the first time me, Wayne, Drake, and Eminem were on stage together.

[Lewis Howes]

That's insane.

[Travis Barker]

It was just everyone knew what their job was.

[Lewis Howes]

That's insane. That's amazing. Travis. We end every episode of On Purpose with a final five. These questions have to be answered in one sentence maximum.

[Travis Barker]

Okay.

[Host]

The final five today is brought to you by State Farm. Being financially savvy is a smart move. Another smart move. Choosing State Farm to help you create a plan that fits you when you choose to bundle home and auto.

[Lewis Howes]

Question number one. What's the best advice you've ever heard or received?

[Travis Barker]

Find something you love and find a way to get paid for it.

[Lewis Howes]

Great answer. Question number two. What's the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

[Travis Barker]

I think sometimes when people say, that's what God wanted. Yeah, I guess that's not advice, but that one's always a hard one for me to accept.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah, good answer. Question number three. What makes a good dad?

[Travis Barker]

Present?

[Lewis Howes]

Dad presence is everything.

[Travis Barker]

Being present, not like buying them things, but being present. Like putting the time in with your. With your son or your daughter.

[Lewis Howes]

Question number four, what makes a good friend?

[Travis Barker]

Someone that is truly there for you all the time.

[Lewis Howes]

And fifth and final question. We ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

[Travis Barker]

I have one that I live by that, like, that I practice on a daily basis, and that's like, no matter where I am, I'm Usually by myself, I always smile and say hello. Like, I think that's really important. I started doing it like years ago to where even sometimes I'd be with my wife. She's like, who's that? And I'm like, I don't know. Just waving though, you know we're here. And like, you might have made that person's day. Or I know my daughter's been like, do you know that person? And I'm like, no. But like, there's something about saying hello and smiling to someone that's maybe having an awful day or it could change their perspective. I think that's awesome.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. I love that.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah.

[Host]

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[Lewis Howes]

Travis Barker, thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for your openness and vulnerability. I can't wait for people to watch the documentary.

[Travis Barker]

Thank you.

[Lewis Howes]

I hope I get to have many more conversations like this with you. And honestly like the way you've showed up so vulnerably, thoughtfully, genuinely, the way you're reflecting on your own life has really left a mark on mine.

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[Lewis Howes]

So thank you so much.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah. Thank you for having me.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. Thank you, Travis.

[Travis Barker]

Yeah.