Summary of "On the Media" Podcast Episode: "Having a Child in the Digital Age"

Released on July 9, 2025 by WNYC Studios

Introduction

In the episode titled "Having a Child in the Digital Age," the hosts Brooke Gladstone and Molly Rosen engage in a profound conversation with Amanda Hess, author of the book Second Having a Child in the Digital Age. The discussion delves into the intersection of parenting and technology, highlighting how digital tools and online communities influence modern parenthood. The conversation navigates through personal experiences, privacy concerns, and the societal implications of technology-mediated parenting.

Pregnancy in the Digital Era

Amanda Hess's Personal Journey

Amanda Hess begins by sharing her recent experience of becoming a mother, which starkly contrasts with her childhood memories of pregnancy and early parenting. She emphasizes the abundance of information and the significant role of technology in contemporary parenting:

"There’s a lot more information available and a lot more technology involved." (01:01)

Hess recounts how her relationship with the internet transformed during her pregnancy. Unlike her usual detached engagement, this time, she found herself deeply immersed, documenting her experiences through screenshots and notes. An abnormal ultrasound brought forth intense, superstitious fears, leading her to recognize the profound emotional impact technology had on her pregnancy experience:

"I realized that this feeling of superstition and this just sub rational part of me that was driving so much of my interaction with the Internet was actually really interesting to me." (03:53)

Privacy and Data Concerns

The Flo App and Data Privacy

A significant portion of the discussion centers around the use of period and pregnancy tracker apps, specifically Flo. Hess details how the app's transition into "Pregnancy Mode" altered her perception:

"It turns from this kind of empowering diary into a disciplinary program." (05:14)

Hess investigated the origins of the fetal images used in Flo, discovering they were based on a photograph of an aborted fetus by Lennart Nilsson. This revelation highlights how data and imagery in apps can carry unintended, controversial narratives.

Regarding privacy, Hess expresses concerns about how sensitive data from these apps might be exploited:

"A consumer surveillance app functions to get us used to this idea that there ought to be an outside authority that is tracking and monitoring a pregnancy." (08:54)

She explains the intricate web of ad tracking, where simple searches related to pregnancy can lead to targeted advertising, often without explicit tracking by the app itself:

"There really doesn't have to be, because the systems are complex enough and automated enough that it just knows." (10:03)

Technology in Parenthood

Smart Devices and Surveillance

Hess discusses her experiences with various baby-oriented technologies, such as the Snoo bassinet and AI-enabled baby monitors like Nanit. She reflects on the paradox of these devices promising enhanced control while inadvertently increasing surveillance:

"It makes me really question how our kids are experiencing these things and how surveillance is becoming equated to care." (28:39)

Her realization came when she observed her child through the Nanit camera and saw "four glowing red eyes" watching him, leading her to question the implications of such constant monitoring.

Experiences and Insights

Diagnostic Odyssey and Disability Awareness

Hess opens her book with a harrowing experience of a prolonged and alarming ultrasound, which ultimately led to the diagnosis of Beckwith Wiedemann syndrome in her son. This ordeal exposed her to the fragmented and often exclusionary nature of online pregnancy communities:

"I felt like I had been cast out of the normal pregnancy Internet that had spent seven months trying to get me to feel like it was my community." (15:05)

She reflects on how prenatal diagnostic tools have transformed from mere medical devices to narrative instruments that shape parents' perceptions of disability and normalcy.

Balancing Control and Acceptance

Through technology, parents are trained to surveil and optimize every aspect of their child’s development. However, Hess's journey underscores the illusion of control these technologies offer:

"It's about technology, but I also saw it as really about you as an individual working with all these different systems." (24:01)

She emphasizes the importance of community support over technological surveillance, advocating for societal structures that value caregiving without monetizing it.

Societal Implications and Conclusions

Critique of the Care Economy

Hess critiques the current capitalist framework that devalues caregiving roles unless they contribute directly to profit. She shares poignant reflections on choosing between professional obligations and the intrinsic needs of her children:

"If I had to choose which was more important, publishing an article or feeding children, I would choose the children every time." (29:37)

She advocates for communal responsibility in caregiving, envisioning solutions like public kitchens where feeding children becomes a shared societal duty rather than an isolated challenge.

Final Reflections

Amanda Hess concludes by contrasting the superficial intimacy promised by parenting apps with the stark reality of their data commodification. She argues that genuine support systems are far more essential than the myriad of technological solutions that promise control but often lead to increased vulnerability.

"What we actually need is support." (29:37)

Conclusion

The episode "Having a Child in the Digital Age" offers a compelling examination of how technology shapes modern parenthood. Through Amanda Hess's personal narrative and critical insights, listeners gain a deeper understanding of the benefits and pitfalls of digital tools in parenting. The conversation underscores the necessity for societal support systems that prioritize human connection and communal responsibility over technological surveillance and data commodification.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "There’s a lot more information available and a lot more technology involved." — Brooke Gladstone (01:01)
• "I realized that this feeling of superstition and this just sub rational part of me that was driving so much of my interaction with the Internet was actually really interesting to me." — Amanda Hess (03:53)
• "It turns from this kind of empowering diary into a disciplinary program." — Amanda Hess (05:14)
• "A consumer surveillance app functions to get us used to this idea that there ought to be an outside authority that is tracking and monitoring a pregnancy." — Amanda Hess (08:54)
• "It makes me really question how our kids are experiencing these things and how surveillance is becoming equated to care." — Amanda Hess (28:39)
• "It's about technology, but I also saw it as really about you as an individual working with all these different systems." — Amanda Hess (24:01)
• "If I had to choose which was more important, publishing an article or feeding children, I would choose the children every time." — Amanda Hess (29:37)
• "What we actually need is support." — Amanda Hess (29:37)

This summary captures the essence of the "Having a Child in the Digital Age" episode, providing listeners with a comprehensive overview of the key discussions and insights shared by Amanda Hess.