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Kara Swisher
Hi everyone and happy holidays. I hope you're unplugged and taking some time to do whatever it is you like to do this time of year. The ON team is taking a break for the holidays, so today we're sharing an episode of one of my favorite podcasts, CNN's the Assignment with Audie Cornish. But don't worry, you're not totally free of me because I'm actually in this episode for a pilot we're doing for cnn. Audie podcaster Van Latham and I sat down with Samantha Bee on one of the funniest comedians I know. She's the former host of Full Frontal with Samantha Bee and host of her own podcast called Choice Words with Samantha Bee. We talked about a lot of things and I've interviewed Sam many times over the many years, but this time we talked about her checking out of politics, which has been her area that she's been making jokes about for so, so long and why she did that, and also about the worst thing she's ever done. It has to do with a friend and a boyfriend. We'll see what that is when you listen to it. In any case, I think you're going to like this listen. It's a great conversation. I was very happy to be part of Enjoy Support for On with Kara Swisher comes from Elf Beauty. Get ready to start with Feeling Good and Elf's new album can help you find the spark. Get Ready with Music. The album is a collection of inspiring songs from emerging global artists that brings together together beauty and music in a unique way. The album comes from Elf Beauty's new entertainment arm, Elf Made. Every Eye, Lip and Face has a unique story to tell and it becomes even richer with a soundtrack you can enjoy. Get Ready with the album on Spotify, Apple Music, iHeart, YouTube and TikTok.
Van Lathan
Support for this show comes from Google Gemini, an AI assistant you can talk to anytime you need help brainstorming, prepping for something important like an interview or exam or or just learning something new. And the best part is you already know how to use it. Just open the app, start talking and Gemini will do the rest. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini. You can download the Gemini app for free on iOS or Android. Must be 18 to use Gemini Live.
Unknown
Support for this show comes from Klaviyo. You're building a business. Klaviyo helps you grow it. Klaviyo's AI powered marketing platform puts all your customer data plus email, SMS and analytics in one place. With Klaviyo, Tinned Fish phenom. Fish Wife delivers real time, personalized experiences that keeps their customers hooked. They've grown 70 times revenue in just four years with Klaviyo. Now that's scale. Visit K L A V-I-Y-O.com to learn how brands like Fishwife build smarter digital relationships with Klaviyo.
Van Lathan
Please introduce yourself.
Samantha Bee
Hello. Okay. Well, hello. Hello. My name is Samantha B. A former television host and current New York City gadabout.
Kara Swisher
Gadabout.
Samantha Bee
I don't know.
Van Lathan
Oh. Gat. About's a good word.
Samantha Bee
That's a good word. I don't know what it means exactly.
Van Lathan
But I'm saying it's another word. Layan.
Samantha Bee
Too. Sometimes a layabout.
Van Lathan
We are. We're super glad you're here.
Samantha Bee
Thank you.
Van Lathan
But we do. Before we can, like, add you to the group chat.
Samantha Bee
Okay.
Van Lathan
You need to submit to the authenticator.
Kara Swisher
Submit.
Samantha Bee
Okay. To determine if I'm on authentic human being.
Van Lathan
Is that it?
Samantha Bee
Okay. All right.
Kara Swisher
Okay.
Unknown
First question.
Samantha Bee
Yeah.
Unknown
If aliens landed on Earth.
Samantha Bee
Okay.
Unknown
And you have to nominate one person alive to represent the human race, who would you nominate? Our fate is in your hands.
Samantha Bee
From the entirety of the human race.
Unknown
The whole human race.
Samantha Bee
The choice is obvious. It's Ina Garten. Because she is an entertainer. She makes the best parties. She brings baked goods. I think she could do it. She's like. She's fun. Her and Geoffrey. Actually. It's the two of them.
Kara Swisher
Yeah. Okay.
Samantha Bee
Don't you think?
Kara Swisher
And she'd provide the famous tomato sauce.
Samantha Bee
She's an emissary of peace.
Van Lathan
So you feel like we're gonna host a party for the aliens you're anticipating?
Samantha Bee
Like, I think you start with a party and then you go.
Van Lathan
Then you move to kidnapping.
Kara Swisher
I'm the one kidnapping. Curious why you didn't pick Martha Stewart. Who is a possible enemy of Eden Garden.
Samantha Bee
Real. Are they? Yeah.
Kara Swisher
They were beefing about something.
Samantha Bee
Were they beefing?
Van Lathan
Apparently they were beef Wellington about something.
Kara Swisher
Beef Wellington.
Samantha Bee
Hey.
Van Lathan
I'm here all week. Okay. Sorry. Do you like that?
Samantha Bee
I'm choosing Ina because I just personally mainlined her memoir two times in a row at slow speed. Because I found it really comforting to hear a woman describe, like, roasted chicken. It comforted me greatly.
Unknown
Are we in a friendship circle here?
Samantha Bee
Yeah.
Unknown
I don't know who that is.
Van Lathan
But we were in a friendship circle.
Kara Swisher
Now you're out.
Van Lathan
She is one of the premier modern entrepreneurial domestic goddesses.
Kara Swisher
Yeah.
Samantha Bee
Is that a good description? Oh, my God. Can you do my descriptor? Yeah. We did Much better than author of the Barefoot Contessa.
Unknown
Oh, I know the Barefoot Contessa.
Samantha Bee
Hey, Brandon.
Van Lathan
Yeah.
Samantha Bee
Okay. That is their idea. Next question.
Van Lathan
In the authenticator, what is a popular song that everyone loves. Oh, but that you hate?
Samantha Bee
Okay. A popular song that everyone loves, but I hate. Oh, actually, well, a singer that everyone seems to love that I hate is Elvis Presley. I hate all his music. I actually hate it so much that I would leap across a studio to turn the music off. Like I would.
Van Lathan
Is there a particular song?
Samantha Bee
No, it's every song in the.
Unknown
So there's not one Elvis song that you kind of like.
Samantha Bee
I can't. I find it so intolerable, like actually intolerable that even thinking about it, like, it's just like upsetting viscerally.
Kara Swisher
I have a second. I just want you to know.
Samantha Bee
Yeah.
Kara Swisher
I've been to Tupelo. I love Elvis so much and I'm basically just.
Samantha Bee
Think we got literally jailhouse. Yeah.
Unknown
You young Elvis.
Samantha Bee
I never even. I never. I don't see.
Kara Swisher
I feel like we can't be friends anymore.
Samantha Bee
Wow. I've betrayed you.
Kara Swisher
You've betrayed. I've been to all the places. All right, next question. Well, I know how. This is not going to be the story.
Unknown
Exactly.
Samantha Bee
Yeah.
Kara Swisher
Your celebrity crush.
Samantha Bee
Celebrity crush. I'm going to. Okay, I have a really hard time with celebrity crush. I don't really have celebrity crushes. So I'm going to say who is the person who I will always sit down and watch? Actually, no, sorry. I'm going to say George Clooney because. Okay, it's a complicated answer.
Kara Swisher
All right.
Samantha Bee
I did meet George Clooney recently for the very first time. And a picture was taken of the two of us together. And I'm literally looking up at him holding onto my heart, like holding it into my chest. And my eyes are closed like I'm having a religious experience. And it's a highly embarrassing photograph. So I'm gonna say his truth was revealed. It was like a party. It was like a fancy. It was a fancy party and he was so hosting it. And so it was a pleasure to be there. So I'm going to say him because I've never made that expression when meeting.
Kara Swisher
Can we see it?
Samantha Bee
Any host.
Van Lathan
We're going to have to google it immediately now.
Samantha Bee
Truly humiliating.
Unknown
What's the worst decision you've ever made in your life?
Samantha Bee
Oh, I chose. I chose a boy over a very long term friendship. And that is the worst decision.
Van Lathan
You still remember it. How old were you?
Samantha Bee
I was a teenager and I Wish it's like the one thing. Cause I don't really think back on life and go, oh, I would love to change all of these things because I kind of think even bad decisions make you who you are. They give you spice. But that is one decision that I would have changed. Like, I wish. I can't. I can't. These people are alive.
Unknown
It's just like the first name.
Samantha Bee
I can't. I'm not Brock.
Kara Swisher
Brock.
Samantha Bee
Yes, it was Brock. It was both.
Van Lathan
Yeah, I see where you're going with that.
Unknown
Those are beefcake teenagers.
Samantha Bee
Definitely.
Kara Swisher
John and Thomas.
Samantha Bee
I realize that we've just met each other, but do I look like somebody who would date a Brock?
Unknown
It looks like you're recovering from a Brock.
Van Lathan
We were all young ones.
Kara Swisher
Yeah, exactly.
Samantha Bee
Oh, my God. Okay.
Van Lathan
Okay. Slightly more serious. I believe that people are basically the same, actually.
Samantha Bee
I believe that people are basically the same. I feel like. Meaning we're kind of motivated by the same things.
Kara Swisher
Which are?
Samantha Bee
Which are? Well, I think we're motivated by love and hopefully the majority of people are motivated by protecting their loved ones. They want to keep their families safe. We're also motivated by selfishness and greed and kind of self serving. And I think that kind of just is true across the human race. And it's not all good things. Some of it is bad.
Kara Swisher
It's good same. So what would your mother say about you?
Samantha Bee
I think that my mother would say that I remind her of her mother.
Van Lathan
In a complimentary way.
Samantha Bee
In a compliment. I just have a lot of qualities. I share a lot of qualities. I share qualities with my mother, but also. But with my grandmother. I think there's a real similarity. I think there's. She was like kind of precise and she was like. She liked her things just so. And she kept her glasses in the kitchen in like an orchard. And I do. I have all those habits. I like to keep the corners clean.
Unknown
You know what keeps you up at night?
Samantha Bee
Worrying about the safety of my children. For sure. Yep. For sure. It's pretty much the only thing that keeps me up at night.
Van Lathan
Yeah.
Kara Swisher
Hard agreement on that one.
Van Lathan
We asked you earlier about your regret. What do you think is your superpower?
Samantha Bee
I think that my superpower is de. Escalation.
Unknown
That's a fantastic one.
Van Lathan
Say more. Yeah.
Samantha Bee
I do think that I actually have a calming influence to things. And I do like to. I am. I was born and that's probably partially where it comes from. But I do like to take a fight. I'm a good moderator. I'm good at actually Calming everybody down and sorting things out.
Kara Swisher
Interesting. I'm an escalator.
Samantha Bee
You know what? That's why we're a good team.
Kara Swisher
Yeah.
Samantha Bee
That's why we're good together. Yeah. Do you like balance?
Kara Swisher
Do you like being that? I'm just curious.
Samantha Bee
I don't always like being that. Yeah. No. Yeah. Because I often, I think, sublimate myself to the process.
Unknown
You feel compelled to be that.
Samantha Bee
I do. I can't. Like, I can't. I don't know. I'm an only child. I don't know. I can't stand it when things are really tense. I can't operate in those. I can't think straight. I can't see straight. I need everything. I need everything to be kind of calm. And we can have hard discussions, like, within the calmness. But I'd like it to not be a fighting.
Van Lathan
I feel like that. Did that make you a good boss?
Samantha Bee
I don't know. I am good and bad. Like, I think there's benefits and there's also. There's. Yeah, there's a benefit to it, but there's a downside to it, too, which is, like, people sometimes need to fight. They actually need to express themselves. They don't need me modulating their opinions at all times, which I do kind of have a tendency to do. Yeah.
Kara Swisher
My son's a de escalator. I wish he was more of an escalator.
Samantha Bee
I think. I mean, it's. I think it makes me a good parent. I think it's good for parenting. Yeah. I think it's actually very, very helpful.
Kara Swisher
All right, last question. And the most difficult.
Samantha Bee
Okay.
Kara Swisher
What's your most controversial opinion? Make it good.
Samantha Bee
I think that the. Okay. I think that the drinking age and the driving age should be reversed.
Unknown
Okay.
Samantha Bee
I think people should be able to drink at 16, and they shouldn't be able to drive until they're 21, you know?
Unknown
Okay. I like this. You know, the problem with it is.
Samantha Bee
Tell me.
Unknown
Okay, so this is the problem with that. I watched. This whole thing was fascinating.
Samantha Bee
Okay.
Unknown
The older you have to learn to drive.
Samantha Bee
Yes.
Unknown
The more afraid you are. The reason why it's good to have people learn to drive at 14 and 15 is because they don't have an affixed understanding. Whatever. That's the driving ages that we learn to drive in Louisiana. People in my ears are telling me that's not the driving age.
Samantha Bee
Okay.
Unknown
But the reason why you learn, like, 14. Oh, I learned to drive at 13.
Samantha Bee
Interesting.
Van Lathan
Yeah.
Kara Swisher
Okay.
Unknown
I learned to drive at 13.
Van Lathan
Same thing.
Unknown
The reason why they say that psychologically it's better for you to learn to drive that way is because you're not.
Van Lathan
You have no real risk assessment.
Unknown
You're saying people start driving because there are people that live in other places that don't have driving cultures. And then when they have to learn to drive, they're 21, 22, 23.
Samantha Bee
They're terrified. I feel like it. I feel like it's good to be terrified. I think you should be. I think if everybody was like a little more terrified, that would be better. And I think people should be able to drink earlier because I think when you keep it like France. Like France. I think when you keep it like separated from people's lives, they wait too long to develop, like a healthy relationship with alcohol or they're forced to take it underground and do it secretly the way that I did, like out of the trunk of a car before a dance. And I feel like if we just had a healthier. Oh God. Canadian rye whiskey, like out of a jam jar.
Van Lathan
Sophisticated.
Unknown
That is.
Van Lathan
Yeah. I thought you were gonna be like peach, not.
Unknown
I started off on E and J. Mad Dog.
Samantha Bee
Oh, oh, okay.
Van Lathan
All right. Well, you have been authenticated.
Samantha Bee
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Van Lathan
Please stay with us because Sam B. Is going to stay and talk more.
Kara Swisher
Support for on with Kara Swisher comes from Elf Beauty. One of the most tried and true self care rituals out there is getting all done up and listening to great music while you do. In fact, according to data from Elf Beauty, 92% of women said listening to music while getting ready boosts their mood. And now you can listen to a special album by Elf Get Ready with Music. The album is a collection of inspiring songs that bridge the worlds of beauty and music. The album features 13 original songs by emerging global artists and brings together authentic artistry and storytelling in a unique and transformative way. Because every eye, lip and face has a unique story to tell and it becomes even richer with a soundtrack. The album comes from Elf Beauty's new entertainment arm Elf made just like how Elf disrupted the beauty industry. That's their goal with entertainment via Elfmade showing up in unexpected places to connect with you. You can enjoy Get Ready with Music. The album on Spotify, Apple Music, iHeart, YouTube and TikTok. Support for this show comes from Google Gemini. Imagine an AI assistant that doesn't just spit out answers, but that you can have a real conversation with. You can use Gemini to brainstorm ideas, prepare for something big like a test or presentation, or to just learn something new and the best Part is, it's easy to use to get started. All you need to do is start talking. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini. You can download the Gemini app on iOS or Android free of charge. Must be 18 to use Gemini Live.
Unknown
Support for this show comes from Klaviyo. You're building a business. Klaviyo helps you grow it. Klaviyo's AI powered marketing platform puts all your customer data plus email, SMS and analytics in one place. With Klaviyo Tinned fish phenom, Fish Wife delivers real time, personalized experiences that keeps their customers hooked. They've grown 70 times revenue in just four years with Klaviyo. Now that's scale. Visit kL-A-V-I-Y-O.com to learn how brands like Klav Fishwife build smarter digital relationships with Klaviyo.
Kara Swisher
Welcome back. We're here with Sam B. Hi. Hi, Sam. How you doing? So I just had you on my podcast and you were talking about where you are right now as a voter. Explain where you are. I was so surprised when you said this. Oh, absolutely. Cause you know from your show.
Samantha Bee
Sure, sure, sure. I said on your show that I am changing my political affiliation to just like, it'd be an independent for a while because not that I'm like, not GOP curious in the least, but I want to be a little bit Democrat celibate for a while. I just want to take a break. I don't need any more fundraising emails for a time. I would like to step outside the circular firing squad and not be a part of it for a while. Yeah, I'm on a break. Yeah.
Van Lathan
It's interesting that you use the word celibate though.
Samantha Bee
Yeah. Yeah.
Van Lathan
I don't the connotations of let's have a dry spell, folks.
Samantha Bee
Let's all just step for a minute and so you're like 4B.
Kara Swisher
You're gonna 4B?
Samantha Bee
I'm gonna 4B.
Van Lathan
Yeah.
Samantha Bee
I'm gonna 4B them. Yes.
Kara Swisher
Yeah. But do they deserve that? Shouldn't you be jumping more into it? Like, isn't it critical to jump more.
Samantha Bee
In or are you just exhausted? I'm happy to. I'm happy to jump into the issues. Happy to talk about all the issues. Very excited and agitated by the news and like, ready to get in there. But I don't need to go and prove my bona fides. I'm like, you all can fight amongst yourselves. That's fine with me.
Kara Swisher
But you're not. You'll.
Samantha Bee
I couldn't be less judicious.
Unknown
I'm curious, you know, when I'm talking to a friend who has jumped out of the dating pool and is not interested in men or women, I always ask, what are you looking for?
Samantha Bee
Uh huh.
Unknown
Like you're celibate now from the Democrats. You don't wanna date them anymore. What are you looking for in a Democratic Party?
Samantha Bee
That's a question I just cannot answer right now. I just wanna like. I feel like there's a lot of work to do. There's a lot of stuff to talk. I don't have to have a political affiliation particularly to get in there. Like to get in there and talk about it and think about it.
Van Lathan
I don't look, does it make you miss satire? Cause like Jon Stewart coming back to his show and kind of jumping right back into the fray of things. I've wondered if you've had some moments at home where you thought actually maybe I could have fun with this.
Samantha Bee
It would be fun to watch them all tear themselves to pieces, which they so clearly are right now. But I'm podcasting. I talk about it kind of when I wive right when I want to. And that is actually very satisfying. I don't feel the need to. I don't want to have to talk about it. Do you know what I mean? I love to just kind of at my leisure, engage with.
Van Lathan
Also, I'm not sure that if that humor works anymore. Like this is moving away from him himself. But a lot of those shows that were pretend news person behind a desk, like they didn't survive. And I do wonder if it is harder to do.
Samantha Bee
I feel like everybody, you know, we always reach for those to achieve like catharsis or to see the issues of the day kind of like processed in a way that is unique and interesting and that is great. But I do feel the full force of the news cycle at all times. Like I'm still, I am still a person who is just like completely pegged to the news cycle. I am, I always know exactly what is happening and sometimes I do need to take like a little step back from it. I don't know. I don't know. It's gonna be a wild. Right.
Kara Swisher
Well, can I stick with comedy? Because one of the things that you were so good at and when you went to like the GOP convention. Sure. And you asked and there was that famous one where you said there's a word choice. That was your bit. I loved that bit. I watch it over and over again. That was sort of like. And Jordan Klepper then grabbed this similar thing. So you act like they're smart, right. Essentially, and then get them to say the bad things. Is that effective? I try to think about it. I kind of like it. But then I think, is that actually funny anymore?
Samantha Bee
Well, I mean it. I mean, again, to me, the purpose is catharsis, because you're not, like, you're not reaching outside. I mean, we are siloed now. Like, the walls of the silo are made of impenetrable materials. Like, no one who doesn't agree with your worldview is gonna watch a piece like that and go, I did look silly. Oh, hold on a second. Let me rethink. Think my positions on the issues. But you. But there's a benefit to people who want to experience that kind of like, that letting go, that kind of, like. What's the word? Just kind of affirmation. You know, it can achieve something, but it's more of an affirmation.
Unknown
Speaking of comedy.
Samantha Bee
Yeah.
Unknown
The one thing that people say about President Trump, whether or not they're criticizing him or not, is they say, well, the guy's funny. And it seems to be the way that he accepts himself into being. You can't say Trump's not funny. He makes me laugh. Do you find Donald Trump to be funny?
Samantha Bee
I find him to be so deeply unfunny that I can't. I don't know. I mean, there's a lot of. To me, there's just like, a ton. Often what happens is he says something outrageous or just completely, like, addled, or he goes off on some crazy weave, and then the cleanup is like, oh, he was just trying to be funny. I don't know. I just don't find him. Maybe I just don't get the joke. I don't know. I don't find him funny.
Unknown
Why do you think so many people do?
Samantha Bee
I have no idea. But there's no accounting for taste. We all think different things are funny. That not to dwell on those sort.
Kara Swisher
Of bro Comedy things. Like, how do you look at those right now? The Andrew Schultz.
Samantha Bee
The rest, I pretend they don't. I don't engage with them. Like, I don't. Not even remotely curious about. I think I know. I think I pretty much have an idea of what they're talking about and what it sounds like, and I don't. There's no need for. There's no value in my life. Like, I don't tend to. Which would really surprise people. I don't really tend to drop into things that will drive me crazy. That will give me. Will wake me up in the middle of the night. I just kind of. I practice avoidance. I put on Ina Garten's autobiography at, you know, 0.25 speed and I just listen to it slowly over 18 and a half hours. Like, I like it.
Van Lathan
I like it especially since, like, the show is satire. But I do fantasize about being the news person who will suddenly get to stop thinking about it. Like, it comes to me where I'm just, oh, I would like a day I don't have to know, right? So I'm just looking at you now with raw envy and you ever get.
Samantha Bee
A day where you don't have to know? You don't ever get a day. Even when you're on vacation. I bet you have to know.
Van Lathan
You do and you don't. You feel it. You start to get jittery. I don't know about you, but if you don't have a byline. Yeah, why did I even ask?
Unknown
I like to know it.
Van Lathan
Oh, really?
Unknown
I'm one of those people.
Van Lathan
But when it's your job, when it's like when I was first starting out and there was like bad weather somewhere, right? Like if someone was getting executed by the state, I was waiting for my phone to ring, right? Like, I had to go to it and it made me anxious, you know, it just was very, like, intense.
Samantha Bee
I don't.
Kara Swisher
I had a BlackBerry in my hand when I had my baby, so I guess I like it.
Samantha Bee
I don't know.
Kara Swisher
I feel like it's.
Samantha Bee
Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, I like it too. I'm not like dropping out of the news cycle, but it is nice to be able to choose to be in it or not.
Van Lathan
Choosing or not in it, Thumbtack presents the ins and outs of caring for your home.
Samantha Bee
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Van Lathan
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Samantha Bee
Word art. Sorry. Live laugh lovers in knowing what to do, when to do it and who to hire. Start caring for your home with confidence. Download thumbtack today. This episode is brought to you by Dutch Bros. Get stoked for all the holly jolly vibes this season at Dutch Bros. Stay cozy with returning winter faves. Hazelnut truffle mocha and candy cane mocha. Plus the new winter Shimmer Rebel energy.
Kara Swisher
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Unknown
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Samantha Bee
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Unknown
Support for this show comes from Klaviyo. You're building a business. Klaviyo helps you grow it. Klaviyo's AI powered marketing platform puts all your customer data plus email, SMS and analytics in one place with Klaviyo. Tinned fish phenom, Fish Wife delivers real time personalized experiences that keeps their customers hooked. They've grown 70 times revenue in just four years with Klaviyo. Now that's scale. Visit K L-A-V-I-Y-O.com to learn how brands like Fish Wife build smarter digital relationships with Klaviyo.
What's the most brainless thing that you do?
Samantha Bee
The most brainless thing that I do?
Unknown
The thing that you do. Like, for example, like, I'll get on the PlayStation 5, swing around as Spider Man. Three hours. Nothing else matters.
Samantha Bee
Okay.
Unknown
Just zoned out, completely detached mind rebuilding. Is there anything that you do that is just mundane brainless? Takes absolutely zero mental work.
Samantha Bee
Well, I do like, okay, there's two things that I do, so I like to do. I like cycling classes, like in a dark room. And I just feel like they. When the music is. I love it, like, when the music is right, which is like intergalactic robots just like murdering each other in outer space. Like, I like, really?
Van Lathan
It's like you're paying someone to yell at you. Like, I don't understand the joy of cycling classes.
Samantha Bee
Everybody's happy. Everybody's just like listening to them. Everybody's just like in the music. So that is a full detachment. Cause I'm just trying to survive. Like, that is just survival. I'm just like, am I breathing great? And then anything beyond that. I like to cook. I actually like to do. I like to do stuff with my hands. So I like to. That's my meditation, actually, is like, is cooking. It's. It completely bifurcates my.
Kara Swisher
Did you say. And cocaine.
Samantha Bee
And cocaine.
Van Lathan
Sometimes Kara just zones out and like.
Kara Swisher
Fantasizes, which I paint in that thing. You have a podcast with Joanna Coles from the Daily Beast. You got Mika Brzezinski.
Van Lathan
Talk a little bit about that. Sure.
Kara Swisher
Talk about that.
Samantha Bee
Well, Joanna and Micah are friends. And I mean, yeah, they're friends. And so Joanna asked her to be on and she's like, Mika has become the news herself because she and Joe, just the way she likes it went to. They went to Mar a Lago to meet with Trump and just have a short discussion. So. And she was getting tremendous blowback from that. So Joanna asked her to come on, and she said yes. And so we interviewed her and I actually, I thought it was really good. I thought it was really interesting. She said something that I did understand. I'm sure hundreds of thousands of people will disagree, but her point was that she made to us was that this is the hand of cards that we were dealt. And it's not really normalizing something that has been very normalized, like you are not. The ship has sailed on not normalizing Trump. He is normal. He is the president. Again, more than half the country voted for him or whatever it was. He's the president. He has the House, he has the Senate. It couldn't be more normalized than that already. And her point was, if I can move them on the issues that are. That are important to me or press my point, I'm going to take every opportunity to press my point. And I see what she's saying.
Unknown
Right. How does that. What's the prescription for the average American? Because you said before that we're siloed and we are silo.
Samantha Bee
Sure.
Unknown
But there are people out there that are, like, just deathly afraid of being a part of the thing that destroys the country, of course. And they don't want to. Their neighbors that they see that are a part of it. People at their jobs that they see that are a part of it. They don't want to be one of them. However, we can't live in silos. We have to share a community together. What do we do?
Samantha Bee
Well, in real life, we do share community, you know, in real life. Real life is real life, and that is different. Like, I don't really know. I don't, you know, I don't have the prescription for the country. I know that we just.
Van Lathan
Did you buy it when she said it?
Samantha Bee
I do buy it. I do buy it because I do buy it for her. I don't buy it for myself. Yeah, never. No, never. I never would. You couldn't drag. You would have to cremate me and take my ashes to Mar a Lago to get me to transgress the doorstop. But that's. I'm not her. I think everybody's got their personal limitations. That's like a.
Kara Swisher
That's a big difference from her going cremation and her. So what?
Samantha Bee
Yeah, well.
Van Lathan
And this is the escalator saying, we're.
Samantha Bee
Different people, we do different jobs. I'm not on television. It's not my judgment.
Van Lathan
We've also talked about Access, and it's funny with this story and them, I haven't thought so much of the normalization thing, but what is the price of access?
Kara Swisher
What's the price of access?
Samantha Bee
What is the price? I don't know. And I do agree with you on that. I agree with you. And I also agree with her. I mean, to be a de escalate.
Kara Swisher
I kind of know you're an independent.
Samantha Bee
So you can agree with both. I can agree with both because I do. I see the point. Okay. Reproductive justice, reproductive rights. It's something that she. It's one of her core beliefs. And if she feels like she can be in his ear, like a tiny amount and it doesn't have to be a social.
Van Lathan
Yeah, I don't. Although it's not a nonpartisan thing to say. I think we've learned from the last four or six years that when you're in Trump's orbit, you don't move him. He's the sun.
Unknown
Well, she's already.
Van Lathan
There's. You rotate. You go around the sun. But this, I think more than enough like memoirs came out after of Republicans who thought they would change things.
Unknown
The only thing you do is make him more politic.
Van Lathan
Yeah, but that's not a bad thing. He's the president. But the idea that you somehow will have this undue influence just by being there has proven not to be true.
Samantha Bee
And I don't think. And by the way, I should have said at the beginning, I don't think that anything she's trying is going to work. Like, I definitely don't. But I understand her motivation. I understand her motivation, but what the show.
Kara Swisher
Would you do it? I have a complete plot to interview Trump. I would interview him at Mar a Lago with velvet ropes in the middle of the lobby.
Unknown
Oh, you got it all planned out.
Kara Swisher
Yeah, she does.
Samantha Bee
Yes.
Kara Swisher
Because I want him to have a hometown crowd, to feel safe there.
Samantha Bee
Right, right, right. That's good.
Unknown
Do you have friends that are Trump supporters?
Samantha Bee
No.
Unknown
You don't?
Samantha Bee
No, I don't believe. Well, I don't know.
Unknown
How is it a disqualifying thing for you to be friends with someone who.
Samantha Bee
I think it would be very, very difficult. I wouldn't be able to understand. But I don't know. I don't have, like a. I don't have a purity test that I force my friends to go through, but I have a small group of friends. I think I know them very well. I really, you know, voting is very private. It's possible that some of my friends voted for Trump. Like, I would die if I found out. I would see one of the things.
Van Lathan
I've been thinking about are the people who are, like, blocking their friends who posted a lot, or their family members just basically saying, I am no longer even occupying the digital space with you. And does that feel kosher to you, or.
Samantha Bee
I can't make that judgment for other people. I think it's so individual.
Van Lathan
What's a scenario where you can lock someone out of your life? Unless they're for me. Unless you're wearing an actual pointy hat. You know what I mean? Like, you have to kind of be, like, burning the cross on my lawn before I'm like, you should not. I erase you.
Kara Swisher
Yeah, that should be your criteria.
Samantha Bee
That should be. But these also, like, these could be.
Van Lathan
It just feels like I don't. You're always so open to things. I'm sort of surprised you're saying this.
Unknown
I'm so open to things, but there are things, like, there are conversations I won't have. Right, Right. So if you come up to me and you go, well, if you look at it this way, George Floyd wasn't really murdered. I'm gonna go, I don't think we have very much to talk about. And that's not because I'm making a judgment about you, but you're not, like.
Van Lathan
And I don't wanna ever speak to you again.
Unknown
We probably don't have a lot to talk about. But the only reason why I'm saying that is because that comes from such a distinct worldview that inviting you into my life is gonna invite nothing.
Van Lathan
I think I'm more than capable of existing with someone and holding them at arm's length, which is probably something for my therapist.
Unknown
I don't like to do it the people that are around.
Kara Swisher
Oh, I like to hug up on people.
Samantha Bee
That's what I do.
Kara Swisher
I mean, stop talking to me. And I have.
Samantha Bee
It's not super clear. I find that whole world and all of, like, Trumpism in general is an ideology that I would like to take and push into this and have it drop into the Mariana's Trench, never to be heard from again.
Van Lathan
I mean, they might feel that way about you. So I think I would.
Samantha Bee
One more fresh hair of that.
Kara Swisher
You're doing podcasting now. You're doing. You want to do other things.
Samantha Bee
Sure. Yeah.
Kara Swisher
Would you get back to comedy and what's funny to you? How would you make comedy now, given comedy's on TikTok? Comedy's here. There's a whole bro comedy. There's this bro Comedy's always been around.
Samantha Bee
It's always been around. Yeah. It has always been around. I don't know.
Kara Swisher
Take my wife, please.
Samantha Bee
I feel like for me, I still do comedy. Like I'm writing a book about menopause, actually, and it's really, really funny. And I had a show and it did great and it was so fun to do and so funny. So, like, I will do. I do comedy all the time. It's just very, you know, it's a. It's a sliver of a thing. It's just something that I feel passionately about and I will talk about it and make comedy.
Van Lathan
I so secretly stoked you brought this up because the menopause assaunts that's happening where like, Haylee, Mary and like all of these people are very publicly talking about perimenopause. It's kind of fascinating. There's like a cohort of entertainers who reached it and did not feel the need to just like disappear and never mention it. It became like the social media feeds, the magazines talking about people saying, did you know? Because I didn't know. And it sort of reminds me of that period when everyone was talking about like an orgasm. You know what I mean? Sort of like, hey, remember when women are discovering. You don't remember? I feel like this was like the plot of fried green potatoes.
Kara Swisher
Yeah, that's straight ladies.
Van Lathan
Don't you remember that this was an act, you know?
Kara Swisher
Did you say fried green to me? I saw it.
Unknown
Didn't someone get killed and then fed to somebody else?
Kara Swisher
Yeah, that was the best part.
Van Lathan
It had multitudes. Okay. The point is it's everywhere. And is it weird that it's everywhere and did you feel weird talking about it?
Samantha Bee
No. Well, I felt weird. I couldn't. I really couldn't talk about it for a couple of years. Probably where I was just like existing in this space of not understanding what was happening to me and actually just thinking that I was completely losing my mind due to my, like, high intensity job, when actually there were like a lot of things going on. So I don't feel weird talking about it now. I have a healthy relationship to it and I actually think that it's. That it is comedy. Like, you can always make jokes about something that is happening to you in the moment. And that is what I. That is what I do. I'm very. I'm very super comfortable with it.
Kara Swisher
Can you let Dan know what the funniest thing about menopause is? Yeah.
Unknown
Cause I'm. Yeah, I want to.
Samantha Bee
I want to menopause. It's really hard to carry menopause.
Unknown
Who is that?
Kara Swisher
What?
Unknown
It's a joke. But what's the funniest thing about.
Samantha Bee
Oh, my God. I don't even know. Oh, my God. Like, funny. Well, it's like, comma. It's more like common tragedy. It's more like comedy. Comedy slash tragedy. It's very hard for me to. We're gonna have to go off camera, and I'll tell you everything.
Unknown
Who makes you laugh right now?
Samantha Bee
Oh, my God. Who makes me laugh? Well, that's a. I don't know.
Van Lathan
Oh, no.
Kara Swisher
Oh, my God. Not Trump.
Van Lathan
Yeah. No, but that's.
Unknown
Sam, you've completely.
Kara Swisher
When did you last laugh?
Unknown
You've completely checked out.
Van Lathan
Yeah.
Unknown
You're in your own bubble.
Samantha Bee
When did you laugh? You've checked out. Laugh. I don't know. It's so weird. Having come from the world of comedy, all I watch are tragic things. Like, I'm watching that show about Ireland and the Troubles.
Van Lathan
But also, great book, great show. Yeah.
Samantha Bee
Oh, God. So good.
Kara Swisher
Move on to the Menendez brothers.
Samantha Bee
When I really want to. I'll go back. You know what? When I really want to, actually. That's so funny. Election. The day after the election, I was like, I have to watch some Tim Robinson sketches. And we put on I Think youk Should Leave. And we just selected our favorite sketches.
Unknown
The funniest show on television.
Samantha Bee
Always will Laugh.
Kara Swisher
Oh, haven't checked out.
Van Lathan
He still has to do a pulse check with comedy.
Samantha Bee
The funniest show on television in existence that I have maybe ever, that it consistently makes me laugh now.
Unknown
It is, to tears, sublimely stupid.
Samantha Bee
Right? Oh, it's insanity.
Unknown
It's like the funniest show on television, for sure.
Kara Swisher
So that makes you laugh.
Samantha Bee
Oh, yeah.
Unknown
You know what that tells me that you. That you're at a point where you have to. Because that's.
Samantha Bee
It's chaos.
Unknown
It's chaos. Like, aggressively beating you over the head with comedy. And you're kind of in that space where you have to be.
Van Lathan
Yeah. It has to cut through.
Samantha Bee
Wild. Like, I don't watch. Like, I don't. Okay, okay. Actually, that's. I also love Maria Bamford. Do you know Maria?
Van Lathan
Oh, yeah.
Samantha Bee
I love Maria Bamford.
Van Lathan
Literally, comedy about depression and mental illness.
Samantha Bee
Yeah. No, no, no. It's so much more than that.
Van Lathan
It's so dangerous. But, like, interesting, given what you've said.
Samantha Bee
Yeah, yeah. I just love it. I went, like. I binged a bunch of Maria's. She's one of the funniest people on planet Earth, and she just, like, takes me there, so. And I went to see her.
Unknown
Were you worried about your ability to laugh now that you're not?
Samantha Bee
I will always laugh. I will always laugh. My husband does. Like, we're both comedic performers. We're comedy writers. We all laugh. My children are insanely funny. I like to watch shows about the troubles. I'm like a very complicated person. Authentic.
Kara Swisher
She contains multitudes.
Van Lathan
She is. She is. And I, I just like, I had a roller coaster of emotions in this interview. Thank you. Samantha B. Thank you so much for coming. We made you laugh coming on the show. We made you laugh going off script. We appreciate you.
Samantha Bee
Thank you. Support for this show comes from Google Gemini.
Unknown
Using Gemini is as easy as having a conversation. You can interrupt it, add details, ask.
Samantha Bee
Follow up questions, and Gemini will adapt to you in real time. But the best way to learn about Gemini is to try it. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini. Download the Gemini app for iOS and Android today. Must be 18 to use Gemini live.
Podcast Summary: On with Kara Swisher – "Samantha Bee on Being 'Democrat-Celibate'"
Release Date: December 30, 2024
In this engaging episode of "On with Kara Swisher," hosted by Vox Media, award-winning journalist Kara Swisher sits down with comedian and political commentator Samantha Bee. The conversation delves deep into Samantha's current relationship with politics, her personal regrets, comedic philosophies, and her views on contemporary political discourse. The discussion is rich with humor, introspection, and candid insights, making it a compelling listen for both fans and newcomers alike.
Kara Swisher opens the episode by sharing that the ON team is taking a holiday break, offering listeners an episode from her favorite podcast, CNN's "The Assignment with Audie Cornish." She introduces Samantha Bee, highlighting her roles as the former host of "Full Frontal with Samantha Bee" and the current host of her podcast "Choice Words with Samantha Bee." Kara hints at the deep and humorous topics they will explore, including Samantha's decision to step back from active political engagement and a personal story about a regrettable decision involving a friend and a boyfriend.
The conversation begins with playful banter as Samantha participates in a mock "authenticator" to join a group chat, showcasing her comedic flair. She humorously nominates Ina Garten as the ideal representative of the human race if aliens were to land on Earth, emphasizing Ina's role as an entertainer and peace emissary. This segment sets a lighthearted tone, allowing Samantha's personality and humor to shine through.
Notable Quote:
Samantha Bee (03:39): "The choice is obvious. It's Ina Garten. Because she is an entertainer. She makes the best parties. She brings baked goods. I think she could do it. She's like... She's fun. Her and Geoffrey. Actually. It's the two of them."
Samantha reveals her strong aversion to Elvis Presley's music, a topic that sparks laughter and a playful disagreement with Kara, who confesses her own admiration for Elvis. This exchange highlights the diverse tastes and opinions that even close friends can have, underlining the show's theme of navigating differing viewpoints.
Notable Quote:
Samantha Bee (05:13): "A popular song that everyone loves, but I hate. Oh, actually, well, a singer that everyone seems to love that I hate is Elvis Presley. I hate all his music. I actually hate it so much that I would leap across a studio to turn the music off. Like I would."
Transitioning to more serious topics, Samantha shares a poignant reflection on the worst decision of her life: choosing a romantic relationship over a long-term friendship during her teenage years. She expresses a nuanced view on decision-making, acknowledging that while most choices shape who we become, some stand out as particularly impactful.
Notable Quote:
Samantha Bee (07:35): "I was a teenager and I wish... I chose a boy over a very long-term friendship. And that is the worst decision."
Samantha offers her perspective on the fundamental motivations that drive people, blending elements of altruism and self-interest. She discusses how these motivations are universal yet complex, influencing how individuals interact and build relationships.
Notable Quote:
Samantha Bee (08:21): "I believe that people are basically the same. We're kind of motivated by the same things. Well, I think we're motivated by love and hopefully the majority of people are motivated by protecting their loved ones. They want to keep their families safe. We're also motivated by selfishness and greed and kind of self-serving. And I think that kind of just is true across the human race. And it's not all good things. Some of it is bad."
When asked about her superpower, Samantha identifies her ability to de-escalate tense situations. She describes herself as a calming influence, adept at moderating conflicts and fostering understanding among differing parties. This self-awareness underscores her effectiveness both in personal relationships and professional settings.
Notable Quote:
Samantha Bee (09:39): "I think that my superpower is de-escalation. I do think that I actually have a calming influence to things. And I do like to... I am... I am good at actually calming everybody down and sorting things out."
A central theme of the episode is Samantha's declaration of being "Democrat-celibate," a playful yet significant statement about her temporary withdrawal from active political affiliation. She explains her desire to step back from the constant barrage of political fundraising and the divisive nature of partisan politics, aiming to regain her satisfaction in engaging with political issues on her own terms.
Notable Quotes:
Samantha Bee (15:56): "I am changing my political affiliation to just like, it'd be an independent for a while because not that I'm like, not GOP curious in the least, but I want to be a little bit Democrat celibate for a while."
Samantha Bee (16:47): "I don't need to go and prove my bona fides. I'm like, you all can fight amongst yourselves. That's fine with me."
Samantha discusses her relationship with satire and the current state of the news cycle. She expresses a sense of detachment, choosing to engage with political discourse at her own pace rather than being constantly pulled into the fray. This balance allows her to maintain her comedic edge without becoming overwhelmed by the relentless pace of modern news.
Notable Quote:
Samantha Bee (18:36): "I feel like everybody, you know, we always reach for those to achieve like catharsis or to see the issues of the day kind of processed in a way that is unique and interesting and that is great. But I do feel the full force of the news cycle at all times. Like I'm still, I am still a person who is just like completely pegged to the news cycle. I am, I always know exactly what is happening and sometimes I do need to take like a little step back from it."
The conversation shifts to comedy's role in Samantha's life, especially as it intersects with personal challenges like menopause. She candidly shares how humor serves as both a coping mechanism and a medium for processing complex emotions, blending comedy with elements of tragedy to navigate through life's ups and downs.
Notable Quotes:
Samantha Bee (33:17): "I still do comedy. It's just very, you know, it's a sliver of a thing. It's just something that I feel passionately about and I will talk about it and make comedy."
Samantha Bee (35:33): "It's like common tragedy. It's more like comedy. Comedy slash tragedy. It's very hard for me to... We're gonna have to go off camera, and I'll tell you everything."
As the episode wraps up, Kara and Van reflect on the depth and breadth of Samantha's experiences and perspectives. They acknowledge the roller coaster of emotions involved in the interview, appreciating Samantha's openness and authenticity. Samantha reiterates her commitment to comedy and her ongoing journey of personal growth, leaving listeners with a sense of her resilience and enduring passion for both humor and meaningful discourse.
Notable Quote:
Samantha Bee (37:44): "I will always laugh. I will always laugh. My husband does. Like, we're both comedic performers. We're comedy writers. We all laugh. My children are insanely funny. I like to watch shows about the troubles. I'm like a very complicated person. Authentic."
Political Engagement: Samantha Bee's choice to become "Democrat-celibate" highlights the challenges of maintaining political involvement without feeling overwhelmed by partisan conflicts.
Personal Growth: Her reflections on past regrets and personal motivations offer a glimpse into the complex interplay between personal decisions and professional life.
Comedy as Catharsis: Samantha emphasizes the therapeutic role of comedy in processing life's adversities, blending humor with genuine emotional expression.
Human Motivation: The discussion on universal motivations underscores the shared traits that connect individuals despite differing political or personal views.
This episode stands out for its honest and multifaceted exploration of Samantha Bee's personal and professional life. Kara Swisher skillfully navigates through humorous anecdotes, serious reflections, and insightful commentary, providing listeners with a comprehensive understanding of Samantha's stance on politics, her comedic philosophy, and her approach to personal well-being. Whether you're a long-time follower or new to Samantha Bee's work, this conversation offers valuable perspectives on navigating the complexities of modern life with humor and grace.