Podcast Summary: "What Makes A Man? Richard Reeves on Addressing the Struggles Facing Boys and Men"
On with Kara Swisher, hosted by Vox Media, delves deep into pressing societal issues with influential voices across various sectors. In the episode titled "What Makes A Man? Richard Reeves on Addressing the Struggles Facing Boys and Men," released on August 14, 2025, Kara Swisher engages in a candid conversation with Richard Reeves, the founding president of the American Institute for Boys and Men and author of Boys and Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It.
1. Introduction to Richard Reeves and the Modern Male Crisis
Kara opens the episode by introducing Richard Reeves, highlighting his significant contributions to understanding the challenges faced by boys and men today. She mentions his extensive work, including his collaboration with Scott Galloway and his pivotal book that sheds light on alarming statistics surrounding the male malaise—a term Reeves uses to describe the profound struggles impacting men’s lives.
Notable Quote:
"I was one of 12 people to receive that [Melinda French Gates] [00:46:49]." – Richard Reeves
2. The Dichotomy of Cultural Narratives Surrounding Men
Reeves outlines the conflicting narratives that men face in contemporary society. On one side, progressive movements emphasize the flaws of masculinity, introducing terms like "toxic masculinity" and highlighting deficiencies in male behavior. Conversely, the reactionary right attributes men's struggles to feminist overreach, advocating for a return to traditional gender roles.
Notable Quote:
"I've realized there were some gender gaps that are really strongly going the other way now. So take higher education...we're losing 40,000 men a year." – Richard Reeves [09:38]
3. Education and Employment: The Growing Gender Gap
Reeves delves into the educational disparities where boys lag behind girls in K-12 education systems, leading to wider gaps in college enrollment. He emphasizes that this gap isn't due to intelligence differences but rather the educational structures that inadvertently favor female behavioral norms, resulting in higher GPA scores for girls despite similar standardized test performances.
Notable Insights:
- Male Teachers Decline: The percentage of male teachers in K-12 education has decreased from 33% to 23%, limiting male role models in classrooms.
- Vocational Opportunities: There's a pressing need to encourage men to enter caregiving professions like teaching and nursing, which are traditionally female-dominated.
Notable Quote:
"GPA measures different skills...it's not that boys aren't dumber than girls." – Richard Reeves [15:06]
4. Cultural Redundancy and the Identity Crisis
Reeves introduces the concept of "cultural redundancy," where men feel their traditional roles as providers are obsolete in modern society. This sensation fosters an identity crisis, leading to feelings of irrelevance and diminished self-worth among men. He argues that redefining the role of men to encompass not just economic provision but also caregiving and emotional support can alleviate this crisis.
Notable Quote:
"The true cause of male malaise isn't lack of labor force participation, but cultural redundancy. Men feel they're no longer needed." – Richard Reeves [27:01]
5. Political Engagement and Democratic Strategies
The conversation shifts to the political arena, where Reeves criticizes the Democratic Party for neglecting the issues facing men, which contributed to young men supporting Donald Trump in the last election. He underscores the importance of Democrats addressing men's issues not in a zero-sum manner but through inclusive, solution-focused initiatives like increasing male teachers and mental health support.
Notable Quote:
"If you're going to have someone come out and say, we need a campaign for more male teachers...we need a mental health service that really reaches our young men because this crisis of suicide among our young men cannot happen." – Richard Reeves [46:21]
6. Social Media and Male Body Image Pressures
Addressing the impact of social media, Reeves discusses the emerging pressures on men related to body image, similar to the well-documented struggles women face. He highlights the rise of "looks maxing" and "embodied dysmorphia," where men feel compelled to achieve unrealistic physical standards, leading to increased mental health issues.
Notable Quote:
"The idea that you won't get a loving partner...unless you've got these biceps is a myth. It is an absolute anti-women myth." – Richard Reeves [40:33]
7. The Role of AI and Digital Companionship
Reeves explores the potential consequences of AI companions, questioning whether they could exacerbate male isolation rather than alleviate it. He cautions that while AI might offer temporary solace, it could further discourage genuine human connections, thereby intensifying loneliness and mental health struggles.
Notable Quote:
"With AI, what I worry is that it'll be just good enough to feel like it's filling the vacuum, but never good enough to actually fill the vacuum." – Richard Reeves [54:09]
8. Advice for the Next Generation
Concluding the discussion, Reeves shares heartfelt advice for young men entering adulthood. He emphasizes the importance of agency, self-initiative, and the courage to form meaningful relationships. He advocates for redefining masculinity to celebrate men’s unique strengths without perpetuating harmful stereotypes.
Notable Quote:
"Having agency...these young men are looking for this guy's doing stuff. Stuff. What the stuff is, is kind of less important." – Richard Reeves [58:38]
9. Conclusion: A Call for Inclusive Support
The episode wraps up with a mutual understanding of the necessity to support both men and women in evolving societal roles. Reeves calls for a balanced approach where efforts to empower women do not overshadow the equally critical need to address men's challenges.
Final Thoughts: Reeves underscores the urgency of addressing the male malaise through comprehensive policies, educational reforms, and cultural shifts that affirm men's value and foster environments where both boys and men can thrive.
Key Takeaways:
- Balanced Focus: Addressing issues faced by both genders is crucial for societal harmony.
- Educational Reforms: Making education systems more inclusive and supportive of boys can bridge existing gaps.
- Redefining Masculinity: Embracing a modern definition of manhood that includes emotional intelligence and caregiving roles.
- Political Responsibility: Political parties must acknowledge and actively work on men's issues to garner broader support.
- Mental Health Awareness: Increasing awareness and support systems to combat rising male suicide rates and mental health struggles.
This episode serves as a compelling examination of the multifaceted challenges facing modern men and boys, offering insightful perspectives and actionable solutions to foster a more inclusive and supportive society for all genders.