REAL TALK: relationships with creatives- our husbands share what it’s really like

Summary

Podcast Summary: One Broke Actors Podcast – "REAL TALK: Relationships with Creatives - Our Husbands Share What It’s Really Like"

Release Date: March 21, 2025
Host: Sam Valentine
Guests: Caleb Ellis, Corey Gainey, and Gabrielle Binlass

---

Introduction

In this heartfelt and candid episode of the One Broke Actors Podcast, host Sam Valentine delves deep into the intricacies of maintaining relationships with creative partners. By featuring her husband Caleb Ellis and Gabrielle Binlass along with her friend Gab and Gab's husband Corey Gainey, Sam provides an honest exploration of the joys and challenges that come with being in a partnership where both individuals navigate the demanding world of acting and creative entrepreneurship.

---

Meet the Partners

Sam Valentine opens the episode by introducing her co-host Gabrielle Binlass and her husband Gab, alongside Caleb Ellis, her husband, and Corey Gainey, Gabrielle's husband. The dynamic is set to explore how these couples balance personal relationships with the often unpredictable nature of the acting industry.

Notable Quote:

• Sam Valentine (00:05): "If this sounds a little weird today, guys, that is because we are recording in Zoom Audio... everyone has seen Gab through my eyes..."

---

Social Media and Its Impact

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around the impact of social media on their relationships. Sam, an active presence online, contrasts with Corey, who prefers to stay off social platforms. Gabrielle shares her experiences of integrating Corey into their social media presence, highlighting the adjustments and challenges faced.

Notable Quotes:

• Corey Gainey (03:04): "She has a thicker skin than I will ever have... How to navigate the Internet is just amazing."
• Sam Valentine (04:51): "Caleb has always encouraged me to build out more online coaching... but Caleb doesn't want to do it."

---

Balancing Creative Careers and Communication

The couples discuss the necessity of effective communication in supporting each other's creative endeavors. Corey and Caleb emphasize the importance of understanding the unpredictable schedules and emotional toll of acting. They share personal anecdotes about auditions, self-tapes, and the emotional resilience required to thrive in the industry.

Notable Quotes:

• Corey Gainey (10:55): "It's definitely made me a better communicator."
• Caleb Ellis (15:13): "Just stick to grammar and just read. Don't try to act it."

---

Challenges of Working Together

Recording auditions together is both a bonding experience and a source of tension. Gabrielle recounts their initial attempts, where differing emotional expressions caused friction. The discussion highlights the fine line between professional collaboration and personal relationship strain.

Notable Quotes:

• Gabrielle Binlass (17:35): "But also, we were taping on some type of timeframe as well."
• Caleb Ellis (18:03): "She did have every note to give her."

---

Supporting Each Other’s Growth

The episode underscores the importance of mutual support in personal and professional growth. Caleb and Corey reflect on how their partners have inspired them to improve and adapt, fostering an environment where both individuals can flourish despite the inherent uncertainties of their careers.

Notable Quotes:

• Corey Gainey (26:05): "I have to really try to work. It's been really cool for me over the years to just be supportive."
• Caleb Ellis (28:00): "Celebrating the wins... seeing her progress in her auditions."

---

Financial Dynamics in Relationships

Money management emerges as a critical topic. The couples share their experiences of navigating financial disparities, the emotional strain of inconsistent incomes, and the strategies they've employed to maintain financial harmony. Sam and Caleb discuss their approach to separate and joint finances, emphasizing transparency and planning.

Notable Quotes:

• Caleb Ellis (45:11): "A lot of it was just responsibility and understanding that."
• Sam Valentine (46:21): "When we bought this house... it was very different dynamic."

---

Personal Growth and Lifestyle Changes

Both Sam and Caleb discuss lifestyle adjustments, such as sobriety and fitness routines, and how these changes impact their relationship. They explore the balance between personal well-being and professional demands, highlighting the support systems that help them maintain their individual and collective health.

Notable Quotes:

• Caleb Ellis (35:24): "The gym culture that I have grown up in... learning more about it."
• Sam Valentine (37:13): "I don't want to hear about it. Do you remember that?"

---

Advice for Partners of Creatives

Towards the end of the episode, Caleb and Corey offer valuable advice for partners of creative individuals. They stress the importance of patience, validation, and understanding, encouraging partners to support without overstepping and to maintain their own boundaries to preserve the relationship's health.

Notable Quotes:

• Caleb Ellis (38:16): "Be patient and make sure you get the tape right rather than just like checking the box."
• Corey Gainey (39:05): "Know your role, stick in your lane, be supportive and listen."

---

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with a reflection on the shared experiences of the couples, emphasizing the strength and resilience required to maintain relationships amidst the chaos of creative careers. Sam thanks Caleb, Corey, and Gabrielle for their openness, highlighting the importance of transparency and communication in overcoming relationship challenges.

Notable Quote:

• Sam Valentine (53:23): "We are definitely at time, so we should let these boys go. Thanks, guys."

---

Final Thoughts

"REAL TALK: Relationships with Creatives - Our Husbands Share What It’s Really Like" offers a raw and insightful look into the lives of actors and their partners. By addressing topics such as social media, communication, financial management, and personal growth, the episode provides valuable lessons for anyone navigating a relationship with a creative professional. The inclusion of personal stories and expert advice makes it a compelling listen for actors and their significant others alike.

Transcript

[Sam Valentine]

Fast Forward Productions. The women are speaking.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

There we go.

[Sam Valentine]

There it is. Okay, well, if this sounds a little weird today, guys, that is because we are recording in Zoom Audio, which is not our typical recording device, but we have four people on the podcast, and two of them are in the same locations as us. So those of you who are here for just plain actor speak and nothing about myself or my business partner and best friend, Gabrielle Binlass, this is not the episode for you. Welcome back to the One Broke Actors podcast. An honest account of actor life, plus a few lessons I learned in the process. Today we have a very special episode by Popular Demand, Caleb Ellis is back. But not just Caleb Ellis, ladies and gentlemen, not just my husband, because I have Gabrielle Binlas here with her husband, Gab. Do you want to introduce your husband?

[Corey Gainey]

Yeah.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

We have Corey Gainey here on the podcast as well.

[Sam Valentine]

At this point, if someone's listening to this podcast, they know me and Gab really well. We do podcasts all the time. Everyone has seen Gab through my eyes because I instantly met Gab, and I was like, I'm obsessed with her. Like, do you remember when I called her the first time and I got off the phone, I was like, this girl's so fucking cool.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

Yeah.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Do you remember when I got off the phone with Sam the first time and I was like, wow, that went longer than I thought?

[Corey Gainey]

No.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

You were gonna say no. What do you remember it being like?

[Corey Gainey]

I just remember you being on the phone with Sam for, like, a long time. Like, yeah, it felt like there were hours. Like, I mean, multiple.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

There were hours. That's not. That's not right.

[Corey Gainey]

Two, three hours, you guys are on the phone. So I was just like, I don't know who this person is.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Okay.

[Corey Gainey]

But, hey, she seems to be nice.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah.

[Corey Gainey]

When you told me that you met her online, I was like, ah, that's strange.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Were you at all concerned for our marriage when you heard that?

[Corey Gainey]

No.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Okay.

[Corey Gainey]

I did have a little bit of a thought. Like, is she a scammer? Like, I was about to lose everything.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

All she said was to ask she wanted some bitcoin. That was it.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

To be fair, we'd never met in real life, and I was like, do you want to start a business together? Actually, though, that is really shady.

[Caleb Ellis]

I just think you. That's $10,000.

[Sam Valentine]

Yeah. And I'm a Nigerian PR, and I'm.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Also stuck in a prison. Please help. Please help me.

[Sam Valentine]

It's so funny to go actually go back and listen to your first podcast, Gab, which at Some point I'm going to make you do. To see growth on that kind of level is really big. She's like, no, I don't want to do it. You're going to do it. And it's just been really fun because I get to be a part of that. And I think sometimes people on the Internet don't ever know these sides of you that I get to know in so many ways. And Corey isn't on the Internet. I mean, he is as a human, but he's not on social media. So, Corey, as someone who witnesses your wife being on the Internet all of the time, how do you feel about all of it? I mean, there's so much good, but there's also so much, like hard parts. How do you feel about it as a bystander?

[Corey Gainey]

I still stand by the fact that I think she's the strongest person that I know. She has a thicker skin than I will ever have. And she is brave and courageous and a little bit wild at times, but that's all needed to just stand up in the face of everything that you guys go through on a day to day basis when you're working within the platforms that you're working on. Do I think that mentally she would be more at peace if she weren't on the Internet in any capacity? Hell yeah. But she does so many great things and she does a great job with just kind of learning how to deal with the Internet and I mean, how to navigate it. All the things that I've seen her learn over the past few years and just how to do the Internet is just amazing. So.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anybody listening will understand that you're always the more politically correct person that I am.

[Corey Gainey]

I am.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

But I get it. You have like a real person job, so that makes sense.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah. How do you feel, Caleb, about, you know, Sam making money off of the Internet the way she did before when it was one broke actress, versus the way she's showing up now as Sam Valentine, like, it's a little different. I feel like she's getting a lot more kickback now.

[Caleb Ellis]

Whatever she feels is best for her continued growth in the Internet space, I think she's pretty savvy with that. So she has a better idea of how to kind of move forward than ever would. So I just trust her instincts on like what the right move is.

[Sam Valentine]

And if it was up to you, you'd have burned this down a long time.

[Caleb Ellis]

No, I mean, I think what you built is like pretty incredible. What you guys have both built is super incredible. So I don't. I don't have any sort of, like, hold up on what you guys do as far as, like, the community. Of course you're going to have your sort of, like, little naysayers and whatnot, but you handle that pretty pro. And you always kind of laugh at what they have to say.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah, Sam's a pro at handling haters. She's very good.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

You do see me, though, like, get affected by it, though, more than, like, the wide public does.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I feel like that's probably, like, a small percentage of the overall, like, good things that you guys do. And so it's like one of those things where it's like, there's always going to be detractors no matter what you do.

[Sam Valentine]

What he's not going to say is that there are several times where he's wanted to take to the Internet and just eviscerate people, especially on Gabrielle's behalf, because she tends to get the heaviest hand of individual. And I'm like, say it to me instead of these so he'll say it to me. And that is a private podcast for all of us later.

[Corey Gainey]

It wasn't hard seeing you put yourself on social media. People are on social media. So, I mean, it happens. That's just kind of the norm of today. What got hard was the trolls.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

And it got hard for you when I started putting you on social media.

[Corey Gainey]

Some things did get hard because, again, where I come from and just kind of the way I was raised and just people I know, whatever, it was very hard to just even have the idea of being on camera for extended period of time and, like, showing the private sides of our lives.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Well, because you weren't on social media, you aren't on social media, and that's a part of who you are. People know you as like Corey without the social media. And so then I started putting you on social media. And it came up to be kind of tricky for you, too, in terms of having to feel like, are you being a hypocrite because of it? Like, am I on social media now? And now it's hypocritical because I've always not been on social media. And to be fair, I didn't really give you any warning. I just was like, hey, do something real quick to do, or, hey, we're going to do this. And you weren't like, getting an option of, do you want to do this? It was just like, do this thing real quick so that we can be on social media. So it was hard for us, for sure. It took us a while, I think.

[Caleb Ellis]

Was it a hard adjustment for Sam going more into.

[Sam Valentine]

Do you remember in 2020?

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah, it was in 2020 is when you switched from the numerical one broke actress to the written one broke actress. It was a big change, which is a big change. I think it's interesting because, you know, prior to that 2020 Covid year, you didn't really film a lot. You didn't really do anything on Instagram outside of, like, personal stuff.

[Sam Valentine]

No, it was like ugly canva images.

[Caleb Ellis]

Right. So I don't think it was a hard adjustment necessarily. I think it was just kind of one of those things where I got used to, like, oh, yeah, you're filming in the kitchen while we're cooking dinner, meal prepping or whatever. You'd be like, hey, I'm going to film this thing real quick. Or you'd like, oh, would you film this for me? You know, like, when you got the SAG health insurance a couple of years ago.

[Sam Valentine]

Yes. You have to teach them to fit. Like, you didn't. You would not have thought about that. You would not have thought about, like, Sam's having this, like, beautiful, amazing moment. I want to capture it for her. Like, I was literally like, I think I'm about to open my SAG insurance letter for the first time. Will you film it just to see what happens?

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

And you were like, sure.

[Caleb Ellis]

Right.

[Sam Valentine]

So I think, lovely.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

I'm so glad I have that.

[Caleb Ellis]

Right. Yeah. I think things like that where it's just like, having to be a little more aware of, like, oh, getting photos or capturing videos, whatnot.

[Sam Valentine]

I think you kind of enjoy being a little on. Okay.

[Caleb Ellis]

I don't know if I enjoy it, but you love. Doesn't bother me.

[Sam Valentine]

You love the laughs.

[Caleb Ellis]

Well, sometimes I say things really funny, so it does help.

[Sam Valentine]

Do you want to take yourselves off mute so he can feel the validation? No, no, it's okay.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

I'm trying not to mess up the audio.

[Sam Valentine]

Have I gotten better about informing you that I'm filming something and requesting permission if I can post it?

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah, I think so. And it's not like you're on it all the time. I think the hardest, honestly, adjustment is kind of like going off of. Corey was saying, as far as, like, you don't have trolls like Gabrielle does, but you do hit those points in social media where you're just like this. I wish I could delete Instagram. So I think that's much more the harder adjustment, which is more me feeling what you're Feeling rather than like, oh, this one thing is actually bothering me. So when it bothers you, it bothers me. So I think that's probably been the hardest adjustment. It's just like the more you have to put your life out there, the more it also like has that negative effect as well.

[Sam Valentine]

And it's hard, it's hard to know, like, is this a moment that is so lovely, I want to share it. Is this a moment that is fun to share or is this something that should be just ours?

[Gabrielle Binlass]

You know, I think I have a different, different perspective because you are gone for so long. He's gone from 7am until 7 or 8pm So I can film anything I want to film, not have to worry about him, like what did you just say? Or anything else like that. And then if we're on vacation, I do film a lot because, you know, I put a lot of my stuff on the Internet and I think at first it bothered you in terms of just like having to be on camera.

[Corey Gainey]

I am to your point. It's almost become a part of my personality. I want to be that person that's like living in the moment. And I definitely play it up for sure. I milked the hell out of it. I had to learn how to get past that and just be like, no, this is a beautiful thing. And it's really cool to just see the connections that she's made through the Internet and just what that does for a lot of people and what it does for her as well. And now I've definitely found more enjoyment out of it.

[Sam Valentine]

It's a lot. You guys see us on our phones all of the time. And so between acting and that, people ask us how we have successful relationships. And Caleb and I have talked about it a bit on the podcast before, but Corey, I would be curious how you've watched Gabrielle's career change into acting into entrepreneurship and how that's changed how you guys communicate.

[Corey Gainey]

It's definitely made me a better communicator. I beforehand was just fly by the seat of my pants on everything. We'll figure it out. We don't have to plan. It's fine like that. Those were my go to statements on everything. As you all both know with acting, when these auditions come up, when the bookings happen, even the research into certain roles, things have to be planned around your schedules or just around whatever is going on throughout the day. That was one thing that made me had to lock into, into just the understanding of the space a little bit more. But then also using the word space. Learning how to give her space to be an actor. Especially when it came to just not understanding. Like, well, yeah, you didn't get the audition, but there's a hundred that's coming out next week. Like, you'll be fine. Like, what. What are we talking about? Just do another one. Trying to get that understanding at first of just how difficult it is and just how much that can wear on you as an actor. That was a big thing to learn. But then also, I think one of my favorite things to learn has been as much as I want to believe I am the representation of the average American watching, I am by no means an expert on what is going on.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Corey, what about you makes you feel like you are the average American television watcher when the shows you've most recently watched are not fitting into that? Like your shows have to have drugs, violence, and killing?

[Corey Gainey]

I feel like it's pretty average.

[Sam Valentine]

It feels very sane right now.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

This what's on tv.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

To be fair, it is what's on tv. I guess you're right because TV is done through a very male perspective. And so. Yeah, I guess you are right.

[Sam Valentine]

But.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

But here's my question for you. Where do you feel like that brought you into maybe like some confrontation with me whenever I would ask for feedback on auditions? Oh, don't say it like that. Fix the tone.

[Corey Gainey]

For one, learning how to read auditions was so difficult for me in the beginning.

[Sam Valentine]

Wait, how would you tell other people that to get better at it who have normie significant others?

[Corey Gainey]

If you're a normie, be a normie. Just stick to grammar and just read. Don't try to act it.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Good advice, good advice. Wait, Caleb has a whole background in acting and then also in script writing as well. How would you tell people that might be coming to this from a little bit more of a creative perspective, how to support their significant other when they're reading?

[Caleb Ellis]

I would just really play it off the other person. So, like, if they want advice or coaching or any sort of redirects, go for it. But otherwise, I think it's a safe bet, like Corey said, just like read the lines flat. Because I remember, like, that's how readers in a room used to do it. Like, they would just, like they'd be rolling through 20, 30 auditions in a day, so they're just going to read it super bland, super neutral. And I think that's kind of like a normal thing for an actor in an audition tape to do.

[Sam Valentine]

Yeah, but it's so much better when you don't do that.

[Corey Gainey]

Right?

[Caleb Ellis]

Of Course. But, like, we've been together for almost 12 years and so, like, we have that sort of rapport. So now at this point, yeah, we have that sort of ability to kind of like work a scene.

[Sam Valentine]

What would you have told yourself when we first started doing auditions together in like, I'd say 2019 was when it kind of started more consistently. And that's when I kind of felt comfortable to bring you in. Like, you weren't judging me in my acting because that's. I think a lot of people's fears is when they bring their person in, they're like, oh, they're going to see the side of me. It's so vulnerable. It's going to be weird for you. If you could go Back to like, 2019, 2020 Wolf Caleb and say, hey, here's some advice to read with Sam, what would you say?

[Caleb Ellis]

I would say be patient and make sure you get the tape right rather than just like checking the box and getting it done. Because there's definitely been points where you were like, fuck it, it's good enough. Let's just. Let's just move on to the next scene rather than like, no, let's, like, work it. Let's. Right, let's get it there. Because that's the one advantage you have with a self tape is that you can take as long as you want. So take advantage of the fact that, like, you have the time to get it right. And so rather than just being like, all right, well, letting you get away with like, all right, well, that's good enough. Let's move on.

[Sam Valentine]

Yeah. Are there times that you feel like, we did that?

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you were kind of like, I'm over this.

[Sam Valentine]

I had a lot less trust in myself.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And I think there was definitely times where you were like, well, I just know I'm not going to get this role. So, I mean, I didn't.

[Sam Valentine]

My first co star, I booked in like 2018, so it'd been years of doing it and then self tapes. I was like, well, I'm never gonna book. Like, I can't book from a self tape. This is so hard.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

I just.

[Sam Valentine]

I can't do it. And we had no evidence to the contrary yet from me being on the.

[Corey Gainey]

Outside of the world completely, I've found that to be one of the most fascinating things. Getting to know all of these actors and just seeing the human side of it and just seeing people just be like, damn, that sucks. He was like, it wasn't bad. It's okay. Yeah, just Record it again. Just like, no, it. I'm done.

[Sam Valentine]

Yeah.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Corey Gainey]

I don't have the perspective of recording an audition and turning it in myself and getting any feedback or anything else. So it's definitely easier for me to just be like, just do it again. Just do it again. But yeah, just seeing that human side, it has been a really fascinating thing. And I think it is kind of just a part of the process. And I think the hard thing, maybe as a husband is to look just like, hey, just do it again. Like, I know you're feeling what you're feeling, but do it again.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah. We had a couple within the last year, I want to say, where we like, made you kind of like stick it out.

[Sam Valentine]

Yeah.

[Caleb Ellis]

And do it and be like, no, let's get it.

[Sam Valentine]

I know a lot of people are anxious to film with their significant other and I get it. I think it's great to have a breadth of people you film with because it will save you in times of. Corey works a real like 9 to 5, 9 to 7, like all day long job. Caleb's in and out. And so we have like, if we fit it in this like, segment before he has to leave. It's good to have lots of different readers. But reading with you, I will say having consistency is. You can now say this kind of reminds me of that one tape. I think it could get a little bit more specific here. When I ask for are better and we kind of figure out things better.

[Caleb Ellis]

Right.

[Sam Valentine]

Because it's been so long.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah. Because I think it is also a skill set too, to be on the other side right behind and reading and like seeing somebody's tape and like being like, oh, this isn't. Or this is all kind of one note. Like, that is a skill set that you also develop.

[Sam Valentine]

Corey, have you ever told Gab that she's one note.

[Corey Gainey]

I don't know what that means.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

But also, we did not start recording until maybe a little late into the strike. That was a very separate thing for me. This is a recent thing of us recording together.

[Corey Gainey]

We tried once.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah. How'd it go? How'd it go?

[Sam Valentine]

Kwait, tell us about that time.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah. From your perspective, it was great, right?

[Corey Gainey]

No, it wasn't.

[Sam Valentine]

Do you remember what the. Do you remember what the show was?

[Corey Gainey]

I don't.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

How did it go?

[Corey Gainey]

I just remembered we were butting heads again because I'm not an expert, but I had every note possible.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

You did have every note to give her.

[Corey Gainey]

And then I think what made it even worse was when she would hear Me do something and say, like, what was that? And I said, well, I was just trying something.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, he tried something on the other end. Trying something out.

[Sam Valentine]

I can.

[Caleb Ellis]

Like, what if they heard his voice and they're like, wait, who. Who is her reader?

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yes.

[Caleb Ellis]

Okay.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yes.

[Caleb Ellis]

Can we. Can we get him in for this role?

[Sam Valentine]

I was actually on a casting director thing with. With Kara and Erica, Kara Shoe Rosebaum and Erica Dream. And they were talking about working with your reader. And they're like, if they could just move. It's not their audition yet, then they're especially for comedy because it's like, yeah, maybe ask them to take a beat if you need it somewhere. But there's like a secret want of every reader that the casting is going to hear them and be like, wait, who was that?

[Gabrielle Binlass]

No performance needed. Just the audio sold. You were just trying to help. And in turn, it made me more frustrated, which then was like, there's nothing else we can do. And also, like, we were taping on some type of timeframe as well. So it was like, no, no, no, no. We don't have time for this. And that just kind of soiled, I think, all of it. But also being in the Atlanta market, we have so many other people to be able to self tape with that it wasn't like a necessity. And then the strike happened and I was doing a lot more, like classes. And I think I also just became a little bit better of not trying to control everything about my auditions and more open to just like, let's just see what happens. And you came in and you were like, I'm just gonna be flat. Ish. Which is still tricky with you because your voice is so deep, so sometimes you're flat and it sounds like this the entire time. It's killing me on the other end. And so you'll have to give me a little bit more. But I think a lot of my auditions are also with opposite black men. So it works out well to have you as a reader because it's not going to be a super, like roller coaster of a ride. It is going to be pretty monotone. But I've gotten better and not taking it as like a, like a divorce thing of if you don't like the tape. Like, I think I was very scared you were going to be like, I don't think anybody's told you this, but you're a really bad actor. And I need to let you know, like, before it's embarrassing to you. I was very scared of that.

[Sam Valentine]

I think that's A really common fear. I think I have people who've never taped with their significant other because it's, like I said, it's so vulnerable. It's like doing a job interview in front of someone who knows you like the back of their hand, but that hasn't seen that side of you that's super scary, especially if it's not their wheelhouse.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Corey and I could not be more opposite if we tried. So a lot of the times when we communicate, it causes, for me, resistance and defense. Defense up front. And for you, defense up front. And it takes us a while to be like, wait, what did you mean by that? Which doesn't make for a good career reader for. For some things. But, you know, you figure things out. And I think that's like, the beauty of anybody's relationship is ebb and flow. You ebb and flow each time you figure it out together, and then you put pressure on it, like, hey, don't this up so I can book the role, you know?

[Corey Gainey]

Yeah. Even from a standpoint of just comedy and, like, our sense of humor.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

That's true.

[Corey Gainey]

We differ vastly. So sometimes I'll see something in the script, and I'll start dying laughing. And she's like, what?

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah, yeah, you have found it for me, which is cool.

[Corey Gainey]

Yeah. And then I'll kind of, like, read it out to you and let you know why it's funny. You're just like, oh, I would have never picked that up. I'm just like, it's clear. It's right there. It's great. So stuff like that, I think is.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Definitely helpful since you guys are a little bit more similar. Do you feel like you find the same things in the script or just Caleb, find different things than you, Sam, because it's your audition.

[Sam Valentine]

I sometimes get a little myopic with my auditions, and I'm focused on, like, my point. What am I doing here? I love to bring lines to him because he's a writer. There's a reel on my Instagram of me doing it because I think it's so funny when you watch it back. But I'm like, can you make me like this line? Remember how, like, eight years ago, I would just change. Change words all the time?

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

And as a writer, it would make him want to climb the walls. But to be fair, before 2016, I was non union and some of those projects.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

That's true.

[Sam Valentine]

Change of words. But it was my comfort zone for a long time, and so you helped me like words a lot more. I'm like, what does she mean by this? How do we make this sentence work? How do we make this work in this context? Yeah, you're good about that.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah, I think I just focus a lot on the actual text. Like, I'm assuming that the writer picked exactly each word for a very specific reason. I always try to bring more of that, like, without getting like, heady about it. Be like, oh, I think this is sort of what you can pull the subtext out of this line and like, make some different choices that maybe aren't super surface level on the page. Like the one you did. You got a put on hold for. We just kind of pulled something out that I was like, oh, what if this was.

[Sam Valentine]

You just. You suggested the relationship.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah, I was like, oh, what if this relationship was different of this person you and your husband that you're playing off of are talking about? And then that totally changed the whole scene. And she got put on hold for it. Even though.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah.

[Caleb Ellis]

Somebody who's supposed to be like 10 years older than her. Yes, she did.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

And then she got. Even though she didn't book that one, she got what, two additional.

[Caleb Ellis]

Two more.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Right?

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

Thanks, guys. Thank you so much. But it's a. It's a slow roll to get there. And I think that there's a lot of people who want their relationship to be the person that they can just use for everything. That's just overall a terrible idea in my opinion, because you're going to get burnt out of each other's very easily.

[Caleb Ellis]

I will say too. I will say like, as the reader, if you keep it as like, much as like a professional thing as you can and less of like, all right, well, I'm just doing you this favor because you're my significant other. You're in it together. Let's try to get you this part. So it's also like your job too. Right. So you want to do a good job.

[Sam Valentine]

It's not a hobby. And me as the actor established that professionally by saying, like, tomorrow, do you like, between your clients at 2:15, can we tape? And so I'll send him a Google Calendar invite. I'll like send him the side. So it's just all very, very simple and clean.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

But Corey, you have a real 9 to 5 job. So that I feel like also changes things in terms of not just timing, but did that ever come into play? Because I know some actors are nervous about getting into relationships with people who don't understand the creative lifestyle.

[Corey Gainey]

I don't think for me, the creative piece was ever an issue. And I don't think Gabrielle was ever really worried about that. I think the biggest thing was getting used to coming home after work and being in a time just honestly, really parallel to what Caleb was just saying, being in a time, in crunch time and saying, like, hey, this audition is due tomorrow. Can we put it down? There's two scenes, need, like, 30 minutes of your time. And she's always really good about having things set up. And there was a time where I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing, and I would come in and my body language would be coming off to her as though, I don't want to be here. I don't want to do this. I'm tired. Let's be done. Or even just coming straight home and jumping in the shower was enough to let her know, like, all right, he's kind of over it. Or at least put her in the mindset of trying to be really cognizant about what I needed when it's a time that she really needs me to lock in and get this audition done. So that was the biggest thing. Just having a 9 to 5 is being able to come in knowing she has an audition and saying, like, hey, I can help get dinner ready. Or, you know, I pick this up when I get home, we'll knock it out. And just coming in guns blazing and just saying, like, all right, come on, let's go. Like, I already read the sides. I'm ready to go.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah.

[Corey Gainey]

I think that was the biggest thing for me to learn how to just support her and just be there for her. Having a nine to five myself.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

When you're an actor, a working actor, in 2025, our lifestyle changes on a dime and things are up and down and crazy. All of the. So what do you guys need from your partners? As people who have a little bit more normal people jobs, what do you need from us?

[Caleb Ellis]

I would say just be supportive of our endeavors and have that sort of, like, mutual respect for our time and our pursuits and things like that. So it is like collaboration. It is not just like a, oh, it's all my stuff all the time.

[Corey Gainey]

I would say understanding that as a normie, my job is also important, and I go through things as well. We, as the nine to fivers or just non actors, understand that what you do is very difficult at times, and just that there is still a world that exists outside of that, where as normal and monotonous as it may seem, it's still a grind at times, and it affects us on the day to Day, even if we're seeing a lot of the same things day in, day out.

[Caleb Ellis]

Okay. So favorite thing about being with a creative would be celebrating the wins, because you do get so many, like, kind of ups and downs, and, like, especially in this business, you get rejected so much. So when you do have that opportunity to kind of celebrate a win, it's always a big one. I think also, to piggyback on that, I would say it's been really cool to see her progress in her auditions and, like, get better and better and better. So that has also been very cool. So those would be my two for favorite things. So it's a tie.

[Sam Valentine]

We were watching the Timothy Chalamet, a complete unknown. It was so good. And I said, I don't know if I could do this at the end of the movie. And he was like, do what? And I said, I don't know if I could transform like that and not feel like a total asshole, because he does feel like he's almost imitating someone, but the transformation. But he doesn't look like an asshole. And he's just. It worked. And Caleb was like, you could totally do that. You absolutely. You did it for that one audition. And then we talked about. And, like, that was really. That was really cool. It was really cool to have the gift of having him as the reader a lot. Is that for sure?

[Caleb Ellis]

So a challenge about being in a relationship with a creative person, I would say it's the pivoting of the schedule. I am a creature of routine, even though my schedule's, like, a little more, like, it's pretty steady. So when she does have, like, an audition that pops up sometimes, it is like a. Oh, that's like, the one hour of the day where I was, like, gonna get this thing done or something. So that can sometimes just be like. But you can only get a win if you're getting those tapes. So.

[Sam Valentine]

And your communication about that is high. If you're like, that's kind of the time where I was gonna do my writing this week, and I'll be like, okay, I'll see if somebody else is ready. I'll find someone.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Corey Gainey]

My favorite thing about being with a creative is first I just have to say her work ethic and just seeing how hard she works is absolutely amazing because that's just not in me. And I have to admit that I have to really try to work. It's been really cool for me over the years to just be supportive. And being around so many people that don't understand the world of acting. At all. I saw this transition from when people went from saying, like, oh, what does your wife do? And I'll say, like, oh, she's an actress. And when she's not acting, she's teaching yoga. And then people would always be like, oh, yeah, Corey's wife's a yoga teacher. And nobody would ever actually acknowledge her as an actor. It took one person seeing her in one role on tv, and then they came in just like, corey's wife's an actor. And I'm like, I've been telling you guys this for, like, five years now, but, okay. So I think seeing that transition was probably the coolest thing. And then as far as challenges about being in a relationship, I think our challenges are just. Just a relationship, period. I don't even think it necessarily comes down to her being an actor and me not. It's really just been understanding that her love language is quality time. I'm sorry, I can't remember what my love language.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

That's because you're from a lieutenant colonel of a mother, so you'll just take love however you get it at this.

[Corey Gainey]

Exactly. And. And that's how it is. You know, her family communicates. I grew up just if we were mad at each other, we'd just be mad and walk away and then come back and just, you know, act like nothing ever happened. We still do that today. So actually learning how to communicate and just be able to take up space together has definitely been the biggest challenge for me. So that is actually. I think that does go into the creative part, too, because you're emotional, and you. You know how to just put out what you're feeling into the universe.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah.

[Corey Gainey]

And I. I don't.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah, so you do. It's just in a different way. You've been told that it's not good to show. To show emotion. I've made money off of showing emotion. So I'm like, how much emotion do you want to see?

[Corey Gainey]

That's true.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

And I'm also very clear about emotions. I experience them constantly, even from, like, an audition. But for people who don't know that are on the call. Corey works 7 to 7 ess, and he works with people that have cerebral palsy and other spinal issues. And so his life is very different. And actually, if you were extremely emotional, you probably couldn't do that job as well as you do, because you would not be able to function at work. It's your superpower and why you're able to be at a job where people are literally losing their lives every single day or just came in from knowing that they aren't going to be able to walk or talk anymore. You're able to be a place for them to feel safe because you're not super emotional about it. You're very like, okay, here we go. And it helps them feel different. But then it does clash with me because I'm like, why aren't you expressing your emotions? Don't you feel a type of way? And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come from a family that didn't express emotions. In my work, I can't express emotions. So it takes time to create. And for me, as well as being your significant other, find a way to be able to create the safe space for you to express those emotions. And being okay. That was my problem. Being okay with however they come out. Because then I would be like. And more and more and more. And he'd be like, I literally. I'm emotioned out for, like, a week. Don't ask me any more questions about it.

[Sam Valentine]

In every relationship, there's a gardener and there's a flower. Sometimes the gardener needs a flower moment, but it's kind of rare for. I will say, for us, I think you also enjoy being the gardener. You like to help. You like to do the fixing of the things.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

I think we switch off a lot. There are moments when you have to be the flower. Because I'm such, like, an antisocial person.

[Corey Gainey]

Right.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

So it's so much easier for me to hide behind you when you're, like, the star of the show. And, like, I don't have to, like, be involved at all. And then there's moments when, like, I have to be the flower because, like you said, your work ethic is different.

[Corey Gainey]

Yeah.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

And I have to look at all these amazing things, like, that we're doing now, and you'll be like, yeah, that actually is great. You're like, hop on and be able to go. So we definitely switch out between those, I think.

[Sam Valentine]

You know what is interesting? We talk about this sometimes. Gab about how Corey and I are so alike in terms of our socialness and our want to, like, conversate and meet new people. And da, da, da. And you and Caleb are. If Caleb could be like, I'm at home. I'm with my people. No new friends. That would be his dream. Because your love language is quality time, too.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Can you and Caleb talk about going sober? Are you both doing it?

[Sam Valentine]

I stopped drinking when I started on my antianxiety medications in 2022.

[Caleb Ellis]

23.

[Sam Valentine]

2023. I was like, let's just see what six months without alcohol looks like in 2022. Do you remember that? It just kind of became normal again. As a normal part of my life, I was a. Not, like a heavy drinker. Like, I don't think I ever had an issue, but it was just such a big part of our lives. My father worked in the alcohol business, so we've always had, like, a big stock of booze in our house. I was just kind of bored, to be honest of it, and I. My anxiety was getting so bad, and so when I went on the meds, they were like, hey, this is. Doesn't go well with alcohol. So I stopped drinking because of that. And then when I kind of would drink a little bit on it, it was like, oh, this kind of. This literally detracts exactly from the medication. This is taking away completely. And then I'm not having as much fun as I would be if I wasn't drinking. And as we've just gotten older, it's been less of a thing with our friend group too. Honestly, in 2024 was when Gab and I started seeing each other all the time. We talk every single week. We launched TM and I had stopped drinking, and then you didn't drink. And I was like, oh, the person I spend the most time with, even though it's just on the phone and on the Internet, also doesn't drink. And it just became easier. I don't feel like I'm sober because that, to me, feels like a term that is earned in some capacity. And I also always want to be able to have anything because of my eating disorder background. I want to be able to have anything I want if I choose to want it. And so rules really make that complicated.

[Caleb Ellis]

What really kind of kick started my change was he's gone a little off the rails, so I wouldn't recommend anything else new from him. But Andrew Huberman had a great, great podcast episode on alcohol, and that was the thing. We listened to it, and I was like, oh, wow, this is pretty much just pure poison and really bad for you, and there's no good things coming out of it. And that was. And we had, you know, especially me, had, like, ramped up, like, a lot of alcohol drinking during the pandemic. It's interesting, too, because the gym culture that I have grown up in, that was. It was a big. It's a big party area is where we're at and West Hollywood. And so that's just kind of what we did. And it was like Kind of right in that apex. When Covid started learning more about it, I was like, oh, well, I'm going to take three months off. And so start of 20, 23 is when I did that for three months and then felt a lot better. I was always pretty disciplined, even with, like, consuming alcohol, but now I just don't even find it, like, interesting at all. But it is interesting, too, because I feel like as creatives, like, if you're constantly, like, diluting your brain and alcohol, you do lose some of that creativity.

[Sam Valentine]

We met in the gym atmosphere, and it was like heavy fitness, like, lots of lifting, all of those things. And in the past couple of years, I have actually started to, like, separate a little bit from that to where I'm not doing the consistent. I mean, Caleb works out six days a week because it. Well, one he's there, he's starting at the gym and has an hour break between clients. And he's like, yeah, I'll do my workout. It's fun for you. You enjoy it. You like the capacity. And there was a period of time where when I decided that I was going to work out less, I got really, like, jealous. Like, he would come home and he'd be like, oh, it's such a hard workout today. I was like, that's so great. I really don't want to hear about it. Do you remember that?

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

That was tough.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah. I don't think it was that hard in terms for me. I think it was hard for you. I mean, I can always feel that sort of, like, stiff arm you give me whenever I'm like, oh, yeah, I had this hard workout. And you're like, that's great for you. And I'm like, okay, she doesn't want to hear about it. Never mind.

[Sam Valentine]

Especially once a day, I sit in front of my computer and I'm just, like, so inundated. And he's like, oh, yeah, it's such a hard workout today. But it was so great. I feel so good. And I'm like, mm. So that's been. That is. That has been. Because the standard for me and for the audition is getting like I had at a point, I was like, I don't feel like I am showing up as my best self in this body type, in this work. And I'm also overworking and overtaxing my system for the things I want to do. And no one told me that. It was just a choice I made. It's been an adjustment, definitely, because that's a totally different. It's a totally different lifestyle than it was before.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

If you had to go back to the beginning of your relationship and give yourself advice for being with an actor slash creative, what would it be?

[Corey Gainey]

I would say it's so serious. I think in the beginning I looked at acting or being an actor like a lot of normies would look at and just be like, it's fun. You're just having a great time. Every day you get to do auditions and be on tv, like, it's. It's great. You know, I wish I could do that. I. I don't wish that I could do it at all. And from what I've seen over the past 10 years, I know I have no desire to act. I would definitely tell myself to know your role, stick in your lane, be supportive and listen, listen. She's going to tell you what she needs. Just trust and do that.

[Caleb Ellis]

I would probably tell myself it's a long haul and that you kind of have to be the sort of rock again. You're going to have much more of that, like, turbulence and the roller coaster. Validate. That's, I guess probably the biggest thing too, is like, really validating that, like, oh, I didn't get this part. You're like, well, that's okay. You'll get the next one is not super helpful. Really validating that experience that the creative person is going through is super important. So that's probably the advice I would give myself is just be like, make sure you're, like, you're there for them and you're validating their feelings that they're having when they don't get a role or they do get a role. And, you know, it's gonna sort of like, upend your life maybe.

[Sam Valentine]

He also stopped asking me how much jobs paid. Do you remember when you used to ask that question?

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah, for sure.

[Sam Valentine]

Yeah.

[Caleb Ellis]

Don't ask how much the money is, because also, you don't know. I mean, we've. You've booked multiple national commercials that never aired, and then you hit on one, and so it's like, you just never know, like, what that ratio is gonna end up being.

[Sam Valentine]

You are a creative, creative plus creative in relationship, right? Yeah, I think everyone's internally creative, but whatever. How do you support each other? Because you don't always have to be the rock. Because you also question your own career sometimes.

[Caleb Ellis]

Right. I think patience is the big thing. Right. You just kind of keep grinding and be patient with each other. Be patient with the process and just trust that the work will eventually speak for itself.

[Sam Valentine]

Is there any give you wish? I Would give you more or could give you more in terms of your creative process?

[Caleb Ellis]

No. You're very supportive.

[Sam Valentine]

Yeah. Is there ways I've evolved?

[Caleb Ellis]

You've stopped asking me to build out an online coaching thing, so that's nice.

[Sam Valentine]

Oh.

[Caleb Ellis]

So Sam has always encouraged me to build out more online. Passive income through programming. Through online coaching.

[Sam Valentine]

There's fitness training. Yeah.

[Caleb Ellis]

These are two things that I just love doing. I really enjoy training people in person, but I hate. I hate online programming and I hate coaching online. And I've always also felt that in order to take the time and energy and bandwidth to build out a program like that and to sort of expand those horizons would take away from the creative side of writing. And so I've never wanted to do it, but somebody kept pushing me towards doing it, regardless of how many times I said I didn't want to do it. Finally. Oh, finally got it that, like, oh, yeah, this is why you didn't want to do that. And I was like, yeah, but that's.

[Sam Valentine]

The entrepreneurial side, right? Of, like, wanting it to, like, build and gab. Has that. Has that come up with you guys? Because, Corey, your job is also, like, helping pay off your student loans and all of that stuff. So there's a whole lot going on behind that.

[Corey Gainey]

Definitely. I hear you, Caleb. Shocker. Your wife tried to get you to start a business. Been there. I guess I broke and finally decided you did.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

I didn't push the online, though. See, I knew my way in and I was like, he's not going to do online. Let's just do in person. Which is what Caleb was already doing.

[Caleb Ellis]

Right.

[Corey Gainey]

So Caleb was already doing. I just. I didn't want to continue to see my clients outside because, one, I just didn't have the confidence in myself to go do it. I. I thought I needed the facility, I thought I needed the equipment. I thought I needed all these things to really make it happen. I didn't believe in myself enough. And there were multiple people that were coming to me just asking, like, hey, can you come see me at home? Can you come see me for even just 30 minutes? Like, please? I would always say no. And then finally I said yes to one person. And then from there, it just kind of snowballed. Now seeing people regularly and hopefully starting up another business because of it.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

So he doesn't live for his work. So it's also different.

[Sam Valentine]

I will kick this off to say talking about money in a relationship is something people need to do more often because it's a huge part of not just Marriage, because in marriage you're contractually obligated to someone. But in a relationship in general, because it changes your. Your feelings around that person. It changes the activities you feel like you can do. It changes how you ask of them. And when we first started dating, I was so to be fair, we were both pretty broke.

[Caleb Ellis]

I did okay for myself.

[Sam Valentine]

Caleb struggles with confidence a lot. You guys. I was pretty broke.

[Caleb Ellis]

I had my own apartment.

[Sam Valentine]

I did.

[Caleb Ellis]

It was solid.

[Sam Valentine]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Ellis]

We were all right.

[Sam Valentine]

We are. We did okay. But. But you made more money than I did. Yeah, basically from the jump. And that was hard for me because you wanted to buy a dinner or do a thing and you've never been one to spend. You're not a big spender in any way, shape or form. But it was hard for me to think, like, well, I don't know, like I make $20 an hour babysitting. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I could do that. That was a dynamic we had to work through, especially when we moved in together because the money dynamic were even different because then we were splitting a rent. That was complicated for me because there are. There were times when I had a full time job and I left to go film a movie. I came back and they didn't hire me back and so I had to go on unemployment. I was devastated and I felt like a loser and I couldn't get an acting job. And that was the whole. I mean that was where one broke actors came from was because my, my reps were like, don't tell people you, you, you are broke. Don't tell people you're looking for a job. We have to sell. You was the leading lady. It's like, but wait, excuse me, I am on unemployment. And you had to step up.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

And you paid for the rent like that whole time.

[Caleb Ellis]

That's the hard part. When you get paid for the work that you're wanting to do. The creative part, that's the like bonus. Any spouse has to just kind of be understanding of that.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Any partner.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah, any partner has to basically just understand that like the other creative person, like when they get paid from creative. That's like icing on the cake. Like your secret deodorant commercial.

[Sam Valentine]

Yeah. We had never seen on the cake.

[Caleb Ellis]

Never expected that. Like that's just all bonus. Great things come from that. But that's not like the reliability. The ups and downs. Definitely need. You want to try to level it out as much as you can because again, like talking about like the whole patience thing, like this is the life, right? So you need to be able to like keep your spending under your take home limit. Because otherwise I do think money becomes like a huge, huge factor in. I mean, I think it's one of the number one reasons that people get divorced.

[Sam Valentine]

Yeah. So we talk about money often and we always have. I'm like, here's how much I'm making. And he'll say, like, here's how much I'm making and here's how much I spend. Here's how much I've spent. This is way before we were married.

[Caleb Ellis]

One of my writers, in my writers group, she sold a pitch to a company, that production company that makes Lifetime movies, basically. Not wga, but she sold, sold a movie, basically has written it, rewritten it, doing all this work for it. If it goes into production and gets made, if she'll make $14,000.

[Sam Valentine]

She's been working on it for, yeah, months, Months, months.

[Caleb Ellis]

So that was the pitch to outline the first draft, the second draft. Now Lifetime has it. So that'll be a third draft. She gets paid for each stage. The maximum she'll get is $14,000, not counting the taxes that'll get taken out of that. You're not doing anything with that money, but putting it in a savings account, hopefully, or maybe paying off your car, putting a little bit aside, you know, you're not quitting your job on that.

[Sam Valentine]

That's also a conversation of if we don't get more income than we have right now, how do we accommodate? If we do get more income than we have right now, what do we do with it? That's a fun conversation to be like, ooh, what could we do? And like, that's when we got to. We paid off our car, share a car. And that was really fun to be able to pay off. Like, it felt. I felt like I was finally contributing in a way. And you never thought of it like that, but it was such a little bonus. And having those plans is really fun and helpful in the process too.

[Caleb Ellis]

Well, and that was the point too, where like in 2022, I lost multiple clients, people moved, things like that. It was like this kind of post Covid and so my income actually took a dip. And so when you started getting those checks, that was actually like a nice, like, oh, good relief.

[Sam Valentine]

You didn't love that either.

[Caleb Ellis]

Hated it.

[Sam Valentine]

That was a struggle for you because I was bringing in more money.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah.

[Sam Valentine]

Yeah.

[Caleb Ellis]

Well, and it wasn't that you were making more money than me. I just didn't like the fact that, like, I wasn't making what I was used to. And that was tough to talk about, but those conversations are important to have.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

We're the total opposite. We did not talk about money until after we got married. Right.

[Corey Gainey]

Mainly my fault. I will definitely take.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

It wasn't your fault. It was just a different look. We moved in a year and a month after dating, and six months, maybe six months. We already knew each other from the past 10 years before we started dating, so it was a quicker thing. And we bought a condo, even though it was in my name, and we split it together. So he was living by himself, I was living with a roommate, and I had a corporate job, and he was working where he works now, but for super, super low pay. So it kind of helped both of us because his breakdown of what he was paying per month went down, so it was more affordable for him. And I quit my job when we bought the condo. So it was a very different dynamic, but I had saved up two years to be able to do that. And so when we went into the condo together, we were both living so much lower as far as what we needed to pay in bills, that the conversation about money never really happened. Because it was very uncomfortable for you. Because I think especially in, like, the world of money, and I hate to speak for you, so you tell me if this is wrong. Being a black man and not having that understanding of money, where it comes from, how to use it. There was some shame there, right there.

[Corey Gainey]

There was. And that's where I still hadn't fully figured out if that was from being, like, a black man or just coming from, like. Like my family.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah.

[Corey Gainey]

The people that I grew up around and just the. The town, city, whatever. Not having that money was just, like, a weird thing. And you just didn't talk about money like that.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah.

[Corey Gainey]

It was just like, well, this person needs help, so I'll help this person.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

That's true.

[Corey Gainey]

That's where, like, we talked about where people were asking me for money and I was giving them money to help them. And you're just like, you don't even have that money. I'm like, I know, but this is what you do.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah.

[Corey Gainey]

And so learning how to get over.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

It, things like that, well, that caused a lot of distrust for us. So that's why we didn't really talk about money, nor did we share any type of bank account, because I was like, I don't trust you with your money. And I also wasn't an open person to talk about because by the time we started dating, I was very good at money. And so I think the difference in understanding of money, probably I was extremely harsh by like, why don't you know this? Why don't you understand this? Which didn't give him space to be like, I don't understand this. I need help. And you weren't comfortable talking about it, so you never came over to ask for help either. So honestly, the first time we talked about money, we've always kept everything separate was when we bought this house, which was five years ago, and we've been together for 10 years. So we went a totally different direction. And I'll be honest, it was our fights for most of the time. And it was different because I made more money when we started dating. And in the past two years from the strike and everything else is when you started your own business. And now since I'm making so much less from acting, we make the same, right? But our fights about money were always very challenging in our relationship and at times made it feel like we weren't going to be in a relationship anymore. But we had 10 years of knowing each other before, so we at least had a foundation to fight off of versus no foundation at all. And freaking out. We knew at the end of the day, like, we've chosen each other to be with each other after knowing each other for 10 years, there's something here to work with. And then when we bought this house, we had to talk about it because when I bought the condo, I still had a corporate job, so they were willing to give me a loan. When we bought this house, we still kept the condo because we were renting it out and I didn't have a corporate job. His W2 got us here even though he's making significantly less than I was making without his. So that made me have to eat a slice of humble pie and be like, oh, shit, I actually can't do this by myself. Myself. I do need him. And so the conversation, I lessened my, like, I don't, you know, about money. And he opened up a little bit, and then we still kind of slipped through it. And then I think a year after being married, we've been married for three years now is when we got a bank account together. But we both have our separate bank accounts, and we deposit money into that bank account the same amount at the same time each time. We still have super separate money. So I don't think that we are normal by any means, but we definitely fought through the money situation to the point that we thought it was going to be a divorce or a breakup, and we're still here. We were more messy with it, for sure.

[Corey Gainey]

We're definitely more messy and a piece of. A lot of it was just responsibility and understanding that. And I mean, I. We just, like, spend 500. Like, that was me.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Yeah.

[Corey Gainey]

I'm like, I'm buying that guy in the corner drinks all night because he just looks sad.

[Sam Valentine]

And she's like, that just sent Caleb that just.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

That was Corey. Because he cared. He cared and also was attached to ego. But for me, I was like, the worst. And I would be like, we can't spend any money because tomorrow we might be bankrupt, and so we must be prepared. And he had to be like, so we don't live out of a box. We own our property. We own our cars. There's other things and other steps before we go bankrupt up. So we've definitely had to meet in the middle. So, I mean, you get a. A great example with mom and dad of Sam over there and Caleb, and you get us. We're six months in. We're like, it.

[Caleb Ellis]

It's cheap.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

Let's just do it.

[Sam Valentine]

We're fine. Guys, thank you so much for being willing to be public with us, even though we kind of forced you into this. By the way, I would like you to know that when I told Caleb we were doing this, Caleb of 10 years ago, five years ago would have been like, ugh, I don't know. And I told him, and he goes, 45 minutes. I don't know if that's enough time.

[Gabrielle Binlass]

It isn't. As we've gone seven minutes over. It hasn't been enough time. That's right, Caleb.

[Corey Gainey]

When did you know about it?

[Sam Valentine]

I put it on his Google calendar when we made the event.

[Caleb Ellis]

Yeah. Known for a while. Would you know about this morning?

[Corey Gainey]

To be fair, I saw it on the Google Calendar, but it was just written out as husband's podcast. I was like, oh, they're doing a podcast where they're talking about husbands.

[Sam Valentine]

Cool. We are definitely at time, so we should let these boys go. Thanks, guys.