🎧 Listen like a podcast, on Spotify, or read the full post below ⬇️

Romance is HARD, am I right?!

You know what's not hard?

Deciding what wine to drink this week! What'd you think I was going to say?

Get your mind out of the gutter, loosen the elastic on those sweatpants, and grab a bottle of Source & Sink's 2019 Red Blend. Why's it gotta be red?! Well, because that bloody massacre of a commercial holiday we just survived is irrevocably linked to that color. Also, because this wine is good! It's honest. It's so California. LOL. That sounds so pretentious. It's what fancy folks call 'terroir,' or the way wine can represent both the grape and the ground it was grown in. It's hard not to taste the soft, sunny slopes of Sonoma in this blend of Zinfandel, Petite Sirah, and Alicante Bouschet. Aaron and Rande, the winemakers, are two cool cats that grew up in Chicago, fell in love with wine in California, and are making no b******t bottles I'd be happy to open any night of the week. And at only $25, it's PRACTICALLY FREE! Text me, and I'll help you find a bottle at an Other Peoples Approved shop near you! ( 🇺🇲 313.825.4670 or 🇨🇦 647.370.6832 )

I should probably get out more. Or maybe I should stay in and enjoy some of the simple pleasures you all called out in your answers to tough questions this week! It's lovely to realize how many of us appreciate sitting silently sipping a cup of coffee in the morning. How is it that those moments feel so far from lonely, even though we're all alone? It's like those simple moments let the cream rise to the top of my mind. Instead of timelines and to-do's, my head fills with images of people like you that bring a smile to my face. The people that bring out the most Michael aspects of my personality. The ones I rarely say "I miss you" to because you always feel right around the corner even when you're a world away, which makes it that much harder to admit I sometimes feel very lonely when I'm with you.

It’s not you, it’s me, I swear! I'm immensely interested in other people, but I often notice myself trying to formulate my next comment or question to demonstrate just how interested I am instead of listening to you. I'm scared not to plan the next moment. I'm worried if I don't have some witty comment or thoughtful question ready to go, you'll lose interest. At that moment I feel lonely and detached. Not the good kind of detachment I imagine a therapist might mention, but a sense of isolation. Instead of savoring the moment, I’m stuck in a solo strategy session. That’s funny because I can't for the life of me make a five-year plan. That sort of planning is beyond me. And if given the option between a good meal and a bad hotel or a bad meal and a good hotel, I'd pick an amazing meal, go out dancing all night, and only worry about where to sleep if the sun wasn’t already rising when my feet finally stopped moving.

How can I bring that freedom to the rest of my life? What kind of person would I be if I noticed the smile on your face or the sound of your laugh instead of planning my next remark? How would that feel? Pretty damn good, I bet! It'll probably take practice and a metric ton of patience. That’s okay because I’ve gotten better at leaving room for the former and welcome any advice on the latter. So, here's to not knowing what we're going to do for the next five and a half minutes, let alone the next five and half years.

If you have any feedback or want to try that delicious bottle of red from Source & Sink I mentioned, text me. I swear all the cool kids are doing it :) I'm off to Walgreens to see if they have any leftover Valentine's candy on sale. Cheap sugar is a kind of self-care, right? Until we talk again, I hope you'll keep being curious enough to ask questions, find the courage to answer them, and just maybe, have the audacity to give a s**t about other people's answers too!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit otherpeoples.substack.com