🏒 What do you do when your child loves hockey, has the skill, makes the higher-level team… but freezes when everything feels new?

In this fan mail episode of Our Kids Play Hockey, Lee Elias, Christie Casciano Burns, and Mike Bonelli respond to a heartfelt letter from a hockey dad in Connecticut whose 2019 birth-year player thrives once he’s on the ice — but struggles with nerves, unfamiliar teammates, new coaches, and chaotic scrimmage environments.

The big question: How do parents help young players grow, compete, and build confidence without pushing so hard that they lose their love for the game?

The hosts unpack why hesitation in new environments is normal, why confidence often comes before compete, and why parents need to be careful not to put adult expectations on seven-year-old players. As Mike puts it, sometimes the answer is simple: put the child where hockey feels fun, social, and confidence-building — because that’s where growth actually begins.

In this episode, we discuss:

🥅 Why nervousness in new hockey environments is common — and not a red flag
💬 How helping kids name their feelings can reduce overwhelm
🏒 Why “confidence breeds compete” at every age
👥 How parents and organizations can “shrink the newness” for young players
⚠️ Why pushing too hard at mites can backfire
❤️ Why protecting a child’s love for hockey matters more than chasing early status
📣 How to ask your child what they actually want from the game

Whether your player is seven, twelve, or sixteen, this conversation is a reminder that development is not just about skating, shooting, and compete level. It’s about confidence, communication, emotional awareness, and creating an environment where kids want to keep coming back.

📖 Want a written version you can reference anytime? Check out our companion blog: Confidence Before Compete: Helping Young Hockey Players Handle New Teams, New Coaches, and Big Feelings

Have a question for the show? Send it in — anonymously if needed — and you may hear it discussed on a future episode.

#OurKidsPlayHockey #YouthHockey #HockeyParents #TravelHockey #MiteHockey #HockeyDevelopment #YouthSportsParenting #ConfidenceInSports #HockeyFamily #LetKidsPlay

Click To Text The Our Kids Play Hockey Team!

Our Kids Play Hockey is powered by NHL Sense Arena! 🏒🥽

Trusted by our kids! Trust it with yours! Trusted at the NHL level through youth hockey, Sense Arena uses VR and mixed reality to build hockey IQ, confidence, and decision-making for skaters and goalies at their own pace.

Right now, they’ve got offseason pricing at $299 for the year—less than a dollar a day, and up to four profiles. Use code OKPH to save an extra $25 off your purchase

Have A Topic You Want Us To Cover? Let us know!

Please Be Sure To Subscribe & Leave A Review For Us On Apple Podcasts, doing so helps our show grow!

Follow Us On Social Media: