IN THIS EPISODE:

In this episode of ‘Out of Session’ by Kindman and Co., hosts Paul and Dani sit down in a very real, very human place: tired, grieving, a little cynical, and unsure they “got it” today. What unfolds is an honest conversation about what happens when life hands you things that can’t be fixed — persistent grief, chronic stress, old childhood loneliness, the slow drip of exhaustion.

Together, they wrestle with what it means to support clients, friends, and each other when there’s no clear solution. At the heart of the episode is a simple but powerful shift: moving from “I don’t got this” to “We got this.” It’s a conversation about borrowing hope, showing up imperfectly, and discovering that sometimes connection — not fixing — is what actually transforms the moment.

TOPICS:

Tiredness, Guilt, Self-Care, Personal Journey, Mental Health Support, Community, Hope

KEY FIGURES:

Paul Kindman, LMFT

Dani Marrufo, LMFT

Kindman & Co.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. Resignation and acceptance are not the same.
Both acknowledge that something “is,” but resignation feels hopeless and powerless, while acceptance leaves room for agency, compassion, and even possibility.
2. Not everything in life is fixable — and that’s hard to tolerate.

As therapists and as humans, there’s a deep pull to fix pain. But much of life’s suffering (grief, chronic stress, old wounds) requires learning how to carry it, not cure it.

3. Hope can feel complicated.

Optimism can be grounding and reassuring — or it can feel dismissive and insincere. There’s a tension between offering validation (“this sucks”) and offering reassurance (“we’ll figure it out”).

4. Borrowed hope is powerful.

When “I don’t got this” feels true, shifting to “we got this” can restore a sense of shared strength. Connection expands capacity.

5. Showing up imperfectly can transform the moment.

Even when exhausted, grieving, or unsure, choosing to show up — for a friend, a client, or a conversation — can shift the experience from isolation to connection.

KEY QUOTES:

1. “It takes a lot of energy just to be a person these days.” — Paul

2. “I know it’s gonna just be there and I think I’m waiting to just hold it differently.” — Dani

3. “Resignation is a relatively hopeless way of approaching something that just is, and acceptance is maybe a slightly more hopeful.” — Paul

4. “If I show up for my friend, it might actually meaningfully transform my experience.” — Paul

5. “I don’t got it.” — Dani

CALL TO ACTION:

Today's episode is bringing you to a friend you’ve been meaning to text or wanting to show up for. We encourage you to reach out and remember that borrowed hope is powerful and showing up imperfectly can transform the moment.

Look out for the transcript of this episode on the Kindman & Co. blog and sign up for the Kindman & Co. newsletter to stay connected.

Fixing the Unfixable: We Got This (Even When I Don’t Got It)