← Overcoming Distractions-Thriving with ADHD, ADD
Overcoming Distractions-Thriving with ADHD, ADD
10 signs you need more support as a busy adult with ADHD
00:18:08
In this episode, we dive into the raw realities that busy adults with ADHD face every day, especially those of you juggling high-pressure careers and demanding home lives. **This episode isn’t about shame. It’s about seeing yourself clearly...
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I'm Dave Greenwood and this is Overcoming Distractions. If you are an adult with adhd, a busy professional, an entrepreneur, a high achiever, or just need some strategies to navigate your adult adhd, you're in the right Place. Who am I? I'm an entrepreneur with ADHD and the author of two books, Overcoming Distract and Overcoming Burnout. I coach and mentor people just like you, and together we navigate the ups and downs of adult adhd from getting out of our own way to helping people just like you thrive in the workplace. That's what I do. Want more info on working with me? Hit overcoming distractions.com ready? Let's get to today's podcast. All right, all my distracted friends, welcome back. You are in the right place. If you're that busy adult with ADHD and you are in for another action packed episode coming to you straight from the luxurious offices and studios of Overcoming Distractions. So I wish that was true. Right, so, but it's a, it's a cool place. So anywho, we are going to talk about what your, the, the things that maybe go through your head when you're trying to figure out whether you need like a support system or an increased enhanced support system. And so many people reach out to me because they get to a point where they feel like they can no longer navigate being that busy adult with ADHD on their own, the demanding career, everything else. They need certain things in life to change. They need somebody that can listen to them and actually understand them and gets them. They need to problem solve and figure out how not to live in frustration and stress and exhaustion and anger anymore. But I hate to say this, but most people who reach out to me or anyone else for support probably reach out. I feel too late. And I don't mean that in a sense of like there's nothing we can do. You are who you are and you are who you are, but there's definitely work that can be done that, that is for sure. So, but what I mean is that maybe the warning signs were clear long before you actually took action and emailed somebody or called somebody for or asked for that additional support. So, and, and I like to say that self awareness is one of the biggest pieces of thriving as an adult with adhd, especially when you're in that demanding career and you have all those other kind of busy things going on in life, you know, commitments, kids, family, etc. Etc. And sometimes we just really need to ask ourselves the right questions. So there are definitely signs that we need, you know, additional support in our lives. So I'm going to run through a bunch of these signs that, that may resonate with you. I'm almost. I'm almost positive they're going to resonate with you because they resonate with me at one another. But I just want to add one super important thing. This episode is not meant to frustrate you or get you worked up. I'm doing this because I know so many of you can relate to the handful of things I'm about to talk about briefly. And I just think it's important for all of us, the ADHD community, to be able to also, you know, one, realize that you're not alone. I mean, you should actually have some comfort in knowing that. But two, you don't have to struggle alone either. There are things we can do, there are problems to solve, there are ways to work with our brain, etc. Etc. So I'm going to run through 10 things that might resonate with you. And these are the things, parts of our lives that can give us a little bit of a hint that maybe we need a little bit of additional support. We need somebody by our side to do some problem solving, to kind of figure things out, to unpack things, do a little bit of trial and error, and hopefully we can, you know, we can survive, we can thrive, we can enjoy life. We can get to Friday afternoon and not be completely exhausted. So, all right, here we go. Let me know if some of these resonate with you. I have 47 tabs open in my brain and I don't know where to start, right? Every task, you know, every new task feels urgent, so I try and stock them all at once and I don't finish anything. Right? Even simple decisions can send me into a tailspin. Or the longer I wait, the worse the pile gets. The pile up gets. That's where all those tabs are open in our brain. You know, picture your brain as that computer, right? But one of the things that I think we fear is that, you know, what if I'm just broken? I know many of us have said this to ourselves, but what if I'm broken and no amount of planning or organization is going to fix me? I'm putting my quotes up there, right? So we don't need to be fixed. Second one, I live in a constant state of ketchup. You know, not ketchup, like ketchup for burgers. Like catching up, right? I know, I know you know what I meant. So a little bit of pun humor there, okay? I'm always behind at work. I'M behind with family stuff. I'm behind with getting back to my friends. I'm behind in my bills and other things. Maybe I'm behind and going to the post office. All right. Guilt is my default mode. Even during moments that should actually feel good, you feel like, you know, guilt and stress, and you keep promising you're going to get organized. And we keep saying, next week, next week, next week. Right? But again, that secret kind of fear we live in is, what if I never catch up? And this is just how I'm going to operate for years and years on end. Right. 3. I say yes to everything and then quietly panic later. Right. We have all been there. We do that. Default. Yes. Right? You may say to yourself, you know, I want to be helpful, but my plate is already full. So then you cancel or you ghost when you can't follow through, and then you spiral with a little bit of shame. And then maybe you're afraid people are going to think I'm flaky, but they don't really realize how hard you're actually really trying to just kind of navigate life and work, etc. But I think, again, going back to that kind of secret fear of ours is like, you know, what if everybody kind of figures out that I'm not reliable? And even the people, like, closest to me, right? Family, close friends, colleagues at work. Right? So that's kind of the secret fear the next one is. I hear this all the time. I have a million ideas, but I can't execute on any of them. We're super good at ideas. I don't think I have ever talked to a. An adult with ADHD that didn't have, like, a bucket of ideas they were carrying around. Right? And I know you're one of them. But sometimes our potential can feel like a burden instead of like a gift. Right. I'm not in the superpower camp for adhd, but the ability to generate ideas and be creative is one of our gifts of many. But it can feel like a burden sometimes because we end up getting nothing done. Right? You can light up with inspiration, and then you can kind of crash and burn before you even get what you want to get done. I think the other thing is the comparison in this when it comes to ideas. Like, you know, you could say to yourself, I watch others succeed, but they have more focus than me. Right? So what if I die with all this brilliance, like, still inside me? Right? I mean, that's the fear. We have all these ideas, and they're going to go to the grave with Me, right? So the next one. I can't focus when it matters the most. And I can't tell you, I've experienced this so much in my life as well. It's like, you know, I prep for hours and still panic when it's go time. I know you're saying this to yourself. At least some of you out there. I zone out during meetings. I miss key details. This is this focus piece. The more pressure it is, the more my brain like fights back and rebels, right? And then you're saying to yourself, you know, you're asking yourself, what if I'm not cut out for like this type of job or this success or, or you know, being promoted or, you know, building my career, right? What if I'm not cut out for this? You start to doubt yourself. Number six. I waste hours on things I don't even care about. I doom scroll. Oh, the, the level of doom scrolling I've been hearing from people lately is, is epic. And it's not just social media, it's like other things, like other apps that people, you know, some of us just spend time on and then those deadlines loom, right? And we keep doom scrolling when we just can't figure out why, you know, so we, I think some of us do waste time on things we really don't care about. And then you ask yourself, you know, I, or say to yourself, I mean, I know what I should do, but I'm still avoiding it. And even when I finally start, I still kind of obsess over these kind of wrong things or things that, that I maybe I don't care about. And then you start to ask yourself, what if I'm never going to be in control of how I spend my time? I mean, we do get to that point, right? The next one is I keep missing important things. I forget birthdays, the bill due dates, I missed team meetings. I was late for team meetings. I've lost money, I've lost career opportunities. I even lost people's trust in me because of the way I've been operating. And every mistake can chip away at my confidence. These are the things we're saying to ourselves, right? And then that fear on this one is like, what if I'm just keep letting people down and I'm letting myself down, right? Which is, which is the worst thing. So these are the signs that you need to get some support systems in place. The next one, I'm either super hyper productive or I'm totally useless. Like there's no in between, right? Like we're either Going to hunt a month, miles an hour or we're just sitting on the couch, you know, maybe going back and doom scrolling. I can totally relate to this, as I think most of you can at one time or another. Maybe you ride those kind of waves of dopamine or adrenaline and then it's gone. And then maybe you feel lazy when you actually do rest, but it just becomes difficult to sustain that momentum either way, right? So. And there's no middle ground, it's just in it. And it starts to become exhausting when we only have like those two modes of operation. And again, you're going to ask yourself, what if I never actually find that balance? What if I feel burned out all the time? What if I can't find some type of routines and systems and cadence to my week and flow, right? These are beginning to, you know, I fear that I'll never actually be able to live in like rhythm. So the next one, my home and. Or my office feels like a disaster zone and I just can't keep up anymore, right? I know for the office and, and I've done. This is like a clean one area and three more piles creep up. I mean, how did that happen? Right? Or the clutter starting to make me anxious and you're looking at it and you actually can't get started in the work because you're staring at this pile. But then organizing also feels like a massive undertaking. We don't even know where to start. That can be physical clutter, it can be digital clutter, and that can get in the way of us actually getting started in focus, etc. Etc. And then you actually, whether it's in your office or even your home, like you avoid actually having people in there, right? Like, oh, don't come to my office, it's a dump, you know, or the house, maybe the house is a dump, maybe it's clutter. Okay? Sometimes we need to get over that, right? Maybe it's not as bad as you think it is, but. Or maybe somebody will cut you some slack. But we do think of that, right? And then that kind of fear is like you start to think about what, what if like the chaos is a reflection of like my inner type of the way my brain works, right? Like, like the way my brain is operating is now coming out for everyone to see, right? Okay. And that's that kind of secret fear there. And number 10, I'm tired of being the strong one who never asks for help again. Going back to what I stated a few minutes ago, I am confident that by the time somebody either contacts me or contacts somebody else, or maybe they even ask a boss, a leader, a director, or even HR for a little bit of help. If you do work for somebody else, it might have been helpful if we did that earlier. Okay. And we feel like everybody leans on us, but we don't have anybody to actually lean on ourselves or get that support. I think we also maybe were a little embarrassed because maybe we're struggling a little bit. Okay. And I want the support, but I don't know anybody or trust anybody to really kind of understand me and my challenges. So. So. And then that fear is, what if I have to just keep doing this all alone for years and years on end? And we don't want to do that anymore. So if you are looking for a safe space and you are that busy professional, you are in that demanding career, whether you are the CEO or the small business owner or the sales executive or whomever, and you have a demanding career, these resonate with you. I would love the opportunity to chat with you to see if we can work together to help you work with your brain to do some problem solving and to make business and life and career and work a little more fulfilling. And you kind of enjoy the ride and you're less stressed out and you're not heading towards burnout because that is not a good place to be. If this sounds like you, if some of these things resonated with you, I would love the opportunity to chat with you. You just hit my website. Overcoming distractions.com. you click that button that says 15 minute chat. Or if you have decided that maybe these things that we just briefly talked about have given you the confidence to go ask for help in other ways. Maybe it's spouse, maybe it's talking to your boss. I hope I've at least done that. Because you shouldn't struggle alone. There is support out there. There are people that understand you and you can get the assistance and mentorship and even coaching that you need. It's out there. If you'd like to chat with me again, overcoming distractions.com hit the 15 minute button on the website and I look forward to hearing from you. All right, gang, we'll catch you next. Sam.