← Overcoming Distractions-Thriving with ADHD, ADD
Overcoming Distractions-Thriving with ADHD, ADD
How Busy Adults with ADHD Can Find Clarity in Chaos-Advice from a NASA Operations Expert
00:36:52
Loading summary
Transcript152 lines
- [00:08]
A
I'm Dave Greenwood and this is Overcoming Distractions. If you are an adult with adhd, a busy professional, an entrepreneur, a high achiever, or just need some strategies to navigate your adult adhd, you're in the right place. Who am I? I'm an entrepreneur with ADHD and the author of two books, Overcoming Distract and Overcoming Burnout. I coach and mentor people just like you, and together we navigate the ups and downs of adult adhd, from getting out of our own way to helping people just like you thrive in the workplace. That's what I do. Want more info on working with me? Hit overcoming distractions.com ready? Let's get to today's podcast. All right, gang, we're back. You've landed on Overcoming Distractions, and as that super impressive announcer just said, that this is the place for you, the busy professional with the demanding career and kids and soccer games and everything else going on in your life. And you just happen to be wired like most of us out there. If you have adult adhd, you fall into that category or you think you have adhd. We don't need a piece of paper to, to hang out here. All right? What I love to do is I love to get not only street smart advice, but just, you know, tips and tricks and stories about people who have navigated the world of adult ADHD in a demanding career. High performers, high achievers. I think we learn a lot from that. Whether that person has ADHD or not doesn't really matter to me. I think there's lessons to be had by many of those. So we're going to do that today. So I have John Melora. He spent 15 years leading mission critical field testing, supporting NASA elite US military units. We're going to learn about that in a minute, I hope. Where precision, clarity, real world execution mattered every day. I hope that, I hope that sparks your interest because those are a few words that I think a lot of us need a little more kind of honing of our skills, I'll put it that way. Me included. So I'm not just throwing everybody under the bus. I'm throwing myself under the bus here. So. But John was also diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, which he told me kind of explained a lot. We're going to get into that too. And because of his professional career and what I just mentioned, he says that we're actually wired to see these patterns, especially in chaos, rather quickly. You know, we may forget to shut the oven off or pick up the kids at school or hand on that expense report, but there's some always some positives to the ADHD brain. So welcome. John.
- [03:20]
B
Hey. I'm so glad to be here. David. I really appreciate the time to talk to your audience.
- [03:24]
A
Yeah. Give me a 60 second understanding of your work with, you know, NASA, military, etc. What did you kind of, what was your. I'm sure not every day was the same, but kind of give me the basic kind of understanding of what your kind of role was.
- [03:43]
B
Absolutely. So when I was in that career for 15 years in Test operations, our job at the end of the day was to make sure that when the thing was supposed to do whatever it's supposed to do, whether it was on Mars or keeping the pilot safe of an F35, our team's job was to make sure that the confidence was as high as it could be that it was going to achieve mission success. So our job was making sure that it met all the requirements that the government would hand to the company I worked for. We're talking like hundreds of requirements in these giant boring documents, which I don't have to tell you, required all of my focus to try to get through
- [04:24]
A
every sliver of brain power. Yep.
- [04:27]
B
Right. But, but what that was, you can imagine, like how complex the systems are to land a robot on Mars successfully or to keep a pilot alive in an environment that's saturated with chemical warfare agent. My ability to look at these requirements and see how everything connected, how all these seemingly random pieces and segmented stuff of information click together.
- [04:53]
A
Yeah.
- [04:54]
B
And how to make sure that we were going to be able to test it on the ground or in a space simulation chamber or on a rocket sled track like Wile E. Coyote style out in the desert.
- [05:03]
A
Now you talk in my language.
- [05:04]
B
Yeah.
- [05:04]
A
Right.
- [05:05]
B
My spirit animal, Wiley Coyote is right behind me here. So, so that, that was my job for 15 years. I, we had to be able to understand what it was supposed to do, put it all together in a way that would turn into real world success.
- [05:21]
A
Yeah. Wow. Well, sounds like a. Sounds like a tall order to me, so.
- [05:25]
B
Indeed it was.
- [05:27]
A
I'm a welding school flunk out, so I'm interested to hear of how you kind of used your ADHD brain. So, but, so, so you did mention to me that you were diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. So. And I think everybody kind of pulls something out of that differently. But what did that kind of moment or piece of paper kind of do for you? How did it kind of make you understand your past, so to speak?
- [05:57]
B
Yeah, the piece of paper was just kind of the End of all of this journey. And what actually got me started on it was a song written by Pen Holderness. He and his wife Kim are social media creators. They were on like the raisin one on it. And Penn, a couple years ago wrote a song about living with adhd. And as he's talking about it and like walking out in the mud in your, in your socks and leaving your laptop in random places and not closing the cabinet doors and like sucking on your T shirt collar, I'm like, I've never felt so seen. Yeah, I had no idea. It was never on my radar that I had ADD because growing up in the 80s and 90s, the kids with ADHD were the ones, you know, especially the boys were the ones bouncing off the walls and would have red dye number 40 and would just be going bonkers.
- [06:50]
A
Exactly.
- [06:51]
B
I didn't have the hyperactivity part. Mine was strictly focused. So a couple years ago, whenever I heard that song by Pen, I started researching it and then read their book called ADHD is Awesome.
- [07:04]
A
Yeah, I got up here.
- [07:05]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's right behind me.
- [07:07]
A
Yeah.
- [07:08]
B
And when I read it, I'm like, oh my gosh, all these pieces just start clicking into place. And I thought maybe it wasn't a matter of me just having to try harder to remember to let my dog inside, turn off the oven, to put the laundry in the dryer like I told my wife I would. Maybe there's something going on here.
- [07:33]
A
Doing work for NASA, US Military, as you, as you mentioned, how do you think your brain wiring helped you succeed? Okay, so we left the oven on. We, you know, whatever the dog is, wherever, maybe hungry.
- [07:50]
B
Okay.
- [07:51]
A
We've established that and all the other little things.
- [07:53]
B
Right.
- [07:54]
A
Okay. But yeah, it, you, you've, you've had a career of using your brain for good in some way. So. And I'm assuming maybe a little bit high pressure, as you just mentioned. So how did your brain, whether you knew you had ADD or not, help you succeed in that high pressure environment? Because, you know, I know people that are, you know, when we've talked to them on the, on the show or I've worked with them individually, who. They're everything from a PhD level. They're a sole proprietor, a business, they're running, you know, whatever. I mean, the common theme is like they're getting pull, pulled in a million directions. So how did your brain help you in working constantly in high pressure, having
- [08:36]
B
that continual switch between different high pressure things, really, that just lights me up. Like, I, I can do that. My Brain's always bouncing from one thing to the other. So, like, when we be, like, out in the field, like I said, like out in the Mojave Desert and we're working on something, it's like, oh, my gosh, the, the widget's not going to be here. What are we ever going to do? My brain would automatically, like, just kick into high gear and be like, okay, well, that thing's very similar to this, this, and this. And we could go get this part at Ace Hardware and then we can put it together like Apollo 13, you know, Apollo 13 style.
- [09:12]
A
Like a MythBusters episode, you know?
- [09:14]
B
Right.
- [09:14]
A
Yeah.
- [09:14]
B
Oh, yeah. MythBusters. I love those guys. But, yeah, that, that's how my brain. And that's why I excelled. Where a lot of other people, for better or worse, would freeze because they would start overthinking things. My brain was just wired for action and to look at all the things around me and, and it was just almost like they would be, like, hot. You know, they would, like, light up, like in a video game, like, there's the item you need to get. And, like, I could just put things together just on the spot.
- [09:44]
A
Yeah.
- [09:45]
B
And I craved that.
- [09:46]
A
I, I, I do truly believe that we kind of see things that are, our, quote, unquote, normal friends don't. Right. I mean, our colleagues are, you know, neurotypical. Let's, let's use the, the more appropriate term there. But you get what I'm saying is that, like, I, I do believe we, we see things that others do not. We see a way to solve a problem or a path that, that others do not. So in terms of, I think you said, you know, our same brain that forgets things also sees those patterns, especially in chaos. So what did that look like in real life to you? Is there, you know, some examples that, you know, obviously, without disclosing, you know, top secret information, but, you know, is there a scenario that you encountered that, you know, that could help us understand that?
- [10:43]
B
Sure. We were, we were down at NASA's Langley Research center in Virginia, and we were, we were working on. Our team's job was also, we'd be responsible for putting things on the, on the literal, the spacecraft, like, with the nuts and bolts and tying things and all that, and we were doing something, and there ended up, we found that there was an issue with the spacecraft. Something wasn't fitting right, and everyone was just standing around scratching their heads. They're like, well, we can't just undo everything. Like, that's going to put us behind Schedule and we're not going to get to the launch site, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I looked at it, and I saw a 4x4 on the ground. And we had some. Some ratchet straps, you know, things like, you know, tighten things down with it.
- [11:27]
A
Yeah.
- [11:27]
B
No one can ever seem to figure out how to get them undone, you know.
- [11:29]
A
Exactly. Nobody can figure out how to use these things.
- [11:33]
B
So we had a 4x4 and we had these ratchet straps. And bear in mind, this is like spacecraft hardware. Like, it's literally getting launched into space in a couple weeks. And I just looked at. I said, well, we have these, like, little tabs on this thing. Why don't we just hook the ratchet strap, wrap it around a steel pole that's like in the middle of the workshop, put this 4x4 here so we don't damage the spacecraft between this, like, just nasty steel pole holding up the building. And let's just. Let's just crank this thing with a ratchet strap. Like, they're looking at, you know, all the other, like, the NASA engineers, because we were civilian contractors. They were looking at. They're like, are you serious? I'm like, it's either that or we delay the schedule.
- [12:16]
A
Yeah.
- [12:16]
B
I'm like, what's the worst that's going to happen? Which is kind of my credo. Like, what's the worst that's going to happen? Like, let's just try. If it doesn't work, then we'll drop back and pun. So sure enough, we did that. Ran the ratchet strap down, thing just went. Dropped right into place, and everyone went, oh, all right. Well, let's go grab a beer. Mission accomplished in the way it went.
- [12:44]
A
So it didn't end up like the coyote, you know?
- [12:46]
B
No, not that time. I do have lots of stories where things. The. The appropriate term was unintentionally, energetically disassembled.
- [12:54]
A
Oh, I see.
- [12:55]
B
Okay. What people like.
- [12:57]
A
Pretty good idea what that is.
- [13:01]
B
Boom. Unintentionally. That's an example of where we, you know, pull to Panama, so to speak. Just.
- [13:09]
A
Do you. Do you feel. Or I guess, let me back up. Why do you feel that people in these demanding careers, high achievers, you know, a high pressure environment in the workplace or what have you. Why do some of us struggle to recognize this as a strength? Because again, I know people who come to me. I think the majority of people come to me probably should have come to somebody like us, you know, long before that.
- [13:45]
B
Yeah.
- [13:45]
A
You know, it. It's gotten to the point where now they have to stop the bleeding, so, so to speak. But they're, they're wrapped up in all the negatives. Right. So I can't work like this anymore. I'm missing deadlines, I'm not getting back to clients, etc. Etc. But why do you think we struggle to recognize those strengths?
- [14:07]
B
Because we're, we're, you know, the world is geared for neurotypical. Is that the politically correct term? People without adhd, people that are neurotypical, like the world's made for that.
- [14:19]
A
Yeah.
- [14:20]
B
And as a child, especially when you're developing, if you're, if you're, the way you're naturally wired is quote, unquote wrong, or there's something wrong with it, or if it's getting you in trouble, you're going to suppress that. Right. Because at the end of the day, like, human psychology is we are essentially pack animals. We want to fit into the group, the tribe, the group, the clan, the club, whatever it is, the fourth grade classroom. We don't want to, a lot of times stand out.
- [14:47]
A
Yeah.
- [14:47]
B
We try to assimilate. And a lot of people with, with ADHD are incredibly intelligent, so.
- [14:56]
A
No, I agree.
- [14:56]
B
So we can fake it. We can, you know, but, but it's, it's the, the round peg in the, the square hole kind of thing, though. It doesn't, it doesn't quite fit. But like, my journey was like going through school and university was. I was smart enough to be able to make up for, you know, what I felt were deficiencies when really what it turned out I just wasn't wired to remember the deadlines, to remember the things off the top of my head. So once I got understanding of what, how ADHD manifest itself, the key was not using it as an excuse. I used it as an explanation.
- [15:35]
A
Yeah, no, and I think that's, that's important and we need to kind of, we need to have that conversation. Right, Right. Because I think a lot of us with adhd, even adults, I was joking with somebody. I'm like, we get really good at apologizing. Right. I mean, just like, we're like, we're like masters at apologizing. So. Yeah, because we're, we're, we're in that situation. So, you know, we didn't get, we didn't get the thing to the, the boss of the client on time. And you know, and. Well, let me explain that I have ADHD versus, like, oh, I'm super sorry, you know, I dropped the ball and what have you. So. But you also mentioned something about patterns and even growing up. And I've used this example a million times, but it is the report cards. It is for some of us that didn't do well in school. A lot of people, as you mentioned, they have done well in school. The grades were great. Again, I've worked with PhDs who just need to figure out how to get a to do list done. Right. Okay. A lot of people with ADHD are super smart. Okay. Some of us have report cards that we now laugh at, but there's a pattern there, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So how. Jumping off that in your. In your work now, how. How can we start to shift from, you know, something's wrong with me to. This is an actual advantage.
- [17:05]
B
Right. So it. It becomes owning your strengths and owning the areas where you need to enact some kind of guardrails or assistance. So if we know that logistics is not our strong suit, then what kind of guardrails can we put in place? For instance, like, I got a bajillion sticky notes around. I utilize, you know, the reminder on my phone, the reminder on my home system. Like, I probably have, no joke, like, 20 to 30 reminders going off a day.
- [17:37]
A
Yeah.
- [17:38]
B
So it's. How can I. How can I do that? And then it's one thing to have the reminder, then it's another thing to actually take the action.
- [17:46]
A
Yeah.
- [17:47]
B
Right. So a real simple framework is, is this going to take me more than 30 seconds a minute? Well, then let me just do it. But it's not. You're just doing it to do it. If we have a deeper understanding of whenever we actually do what we say we're going to do, whether it's the report for your boss or flossing your teeth every night like you promised your dentist you would.
- [18:11]
A
Mm.
- [18:12]
B
When we start keeping promises to ourself, what that actually does is that actually builds up our confidence.
- [18:17]
A
Yeah. No, I believe that. Yeah.
- [18:19]
B
So. So if we have the mindset of when the reminder goes off, we say it's not about doing the task. If we have this vision of, like, it's like, we want to grow our confidence so we can take more decisive action in our life. We ask ourself a question like, okay, can I do this 30 second task now to honor my future self? Because there's nothing worse than, like, getting and meeting your future self.
- [18:43]
A
And they're like, dude, you never flossed.
- [18:46]
B
Yeah, you never flossed. Like, what's your.
- [18:48]
A
What's your.
- [18:49]
B
What's your issue now? We got to tell the Dennis, we didn't do it. If we can change the mindset of, like, I have to do this, or, you know, I'm evil, I'm the worst person in the world, if I don't do this, we can change it and be like, no, this is actually just going to build my confidence so I can really keep living the life I want at an even more elevated level. That can change a lot of things.
- [19:09]
A
Yeah, yeah. The. I think the. The. The process of doing those little things also I think, help us slowly build that kind of routine. Right. So it does, I think, for a lot of us, maybe not all of us, but gets easier if we're doing those kind of tiny little things on a consistent basis. This is where I think it doesn't have to be ADHD advice. This is, you know, James Clear's, you know, atomic Habits. You know, you read a third of the book, you got the gist of what he's trying to get across. Right. It's just like, you know, just floss your teeth every day. It takes 20 seconds.
- [19:53]
B
Right.
- [19:54]
A
You know, these little tiny incremental shifts that move the needle in your favor. And to your point, it does build that confidence. It builds that, you know, I can do this. It's becoming part of who I am. Right.
- [20:08]
B
Yeah. Yeah. Because your brain eventually gets enough information that says, oh, when I say I'm going to do something, I do it. And your brain doesn't really differentiate between something big like, I'm going to start my own business or I'm going to floss every night. Once you get those reps in with those little teeny, tiny things that set you up for success, when those bigger commitments come up, your brain's already going to be wired for. Okay, yeah, I'm. I'm going to do that. I'm. I will figure it out.
- [20:36]
A
Yeah. The. I did this once just to test myself, because no one likes to empty the dishwasher, right? So I'm like, you know what? I hate doing this. I walk by it over and over again. I'm gonna set a timer. I want to see how actually long it takes me to empty the dishwasher. I mean, it was under two minutes. Yeah. You know, when it came right down it. But I just buckled down and just put everything back on the cabinets. I'm like, so why do I just keep walking by this thing? You know, I was telling myself that it's a pain in the ass.
- [21:12]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [21:13]
A
And it might be, but it's not totally going to throw you off course.
- [21:17]
B
No. And the thing with that is. Whatever it is, whatever we're putting off, we need to recognize nothing lives in our head rent free.
- [21:26]
A
That's true. Yeah.
- [21:26]
B
Every time you walk past that, that dishwasher, like, that's chewing up some processing power in David's brain. I could be doing some much more big awesome things than, like, walking by and kind of beating yourself up. And I should do that. And I should do that. This sucks. You know, whatever that story is.
- [21:43]
A
Right.
- [21:43]
B
Yeah.
- [21:44]
A
And that's why, you know, when I would do large projects, when I had a full roster of PR clients, you know, I would. What I would call, what it, what it was called, Clear the decks. Like, I had five little things to do. But you're right, they're, they're, they're taking up space in your head and there could be two minutes, it could be five minutes, it could be whatever.
- [22:06]
B
Yeah.
- [22:06]
A
But you get those out of your way and then, then that paves the way for deeper work, which I think is honestly our best friend. I mean, long chunks of time for an ADHD and the knowledge, working setting, I'll put it that way, is, Is our best friend. I'm completely convinced of that. So.
- [22:30]
B
Oh, yeah. If it's something we're engaged in and enjoy. I mean, the hours disappear. Just happened to me this morning.
- [22:36]
A
Yeah.
- [22:37]
B
Working on something.
- [22:37]
A
And I don't think that's hyper focus. I think that's more of a flow we can tee ourselves up for. Flow where, where, you know, we're, we're getting stuff done. It feels good. Maybe a tiny bit of a challenge, so to speak, but we're making progress. So our brain gets, quite frankly, lubed up to do that. Yeah, you can't do that 30 minutes here and 20 minutes here when you've got all these other tiny little things that are, like, you say, taken, taking up space in your head. So did. Speaking of shit, tons of stuff to do. So did you, in your experience, ever find that you walked into work where everything felt important? You know, there was that lack of clarity, so to speak. Was that something that you had to, to, to manage?
- [23:30]
B
That's, that's not something that, That I really struggled with because again, that's actually where my, my pattern recognition would, Would really kick in. And I never realized I was a superpower until I started doing coaching.
- [23:45]
A
Yeah.
- [23:45]
B
Years ago. So that's actually exactly the pocket I sit in, especially with high performers, is I help those high performers that, that feel like everything's important, everything's a priority, and they, they just become paralyzed. They Bounce from thing to one thing to the other. They. They don't, they don't get anything done. So what I help them do is really get clear and distill down. Like, what is the next thing you need to do to move the needle forward on that. Yeah, on whatever that is. So I didn't realize that was a superpower because I just always naturally did that. And that's the thing with superpowers. You don't realize them until you get perspective from other people.
- [24:28]
A
Yeah. But I do think a lot of people do struggle with that. Oh, is that everything is on fire when they get to their desk at, you know, 9:00am or whenever they get to it. Which I think leads to actually getting nothing done.
- [24:44]
B
100.
- [24:45]
A
Because you're just burning so much energy trying to decide what to actually get done. So, so I think that's, that's an important kind of distinction to. That is, you know, how do we, how do we gain that clarity? Maybe it is pattern recognition, where this is how I'm going to kind of operate when I've got a hundred things on the to do list. Right.
- [25:11]
B
Yeah, yeah. And I have a framework that I'd love to share with your audience to help them with specifically that. Like, how do I get clear on the next right action. And this is my hits framework, H I T S. So the H stands for halt. Like when you, when you are just looking at this sea of things to do and everything's on fire, the first thing you do is halt, hit pause and just take a couple deep breaths. And then the eye is identify what's immediately important. And that's, you know, that's the million dollar question. Well, how do I tell what's immediately important? It's like, well, have you ever actually sat down and like, whether you need to write it out, type it up in a. On a word document, like, whatever you need to do, get clear on what everything is that's cluttering up your head. And once you do that, because you've taken the moment to pause, you can, when you, when you look at it, we'll be able to eventually see what the priority is.
- [26:09]
A
Yeah.
- [26:10]
B
There are things that's like, okay, that's not due for three weeks. I need to get this done so I can go on travel this afternoon. That's the immediately important thing. It's like, okay, so I've paused, I've halted, I've identified what's immediately important. Now we need to take decisive action. We don't need to overthink it. We need to get to 70% of the solution. Like General Colin Powell said, 70% of the solution take decisive action. And then the S is the part where a lot of people miss it is set a deadline for yourself.
- [26:47]
A
Yeah.
- [26:47]
B
Because there's a big difference between saying, like, I'm going to work on this today as opposed to saying, I'm going to finish this by 3:30pm today, Friday, March 27, at 4:30pm Eastern Time.
- [27:03]
A
Yeah.
- [27:04]
B
And I say Eastern time because when I. When I did government work, we were doing a joint military program, and we're trying to get the pilots from the Air Force, Navy and Marine Corps to agree. Fighter pilots, you can imagine that was a very tall order.
- [27:18]
A
Right.
- [27:18]
B
And it very quickly just got out of hand. So the government brought this project manager in, and I'll never forget, we're sitting on a phone call one day, and he said, all right, Melora, when are you going to get that test procedure done? I said, I'll get it done by end of day Thursday. He goes, what the heck does that mean? I said, by the end of the day? He goes, no, what time? I said, 4:30pm he goes, and, you know, it's kind of. I was younger, I was a smart ass. I go, and what? Hey, jackass. He said, we have team. We have team members on this call from California to the United Kingdom. What 4:30 are you talking about? I don't want the guys in England staying up till 10pm waiting.
- [28:02]
A
Exactly. Yeah, yeah.
- [28:04]
B
I'm like, oh. I said, okay, I'll get it done by Thursday at 4:30pm Eastern Time.
- [28:09]
A
He goes, but that's that clarity piece, right?
- [28:11]
B
Clarity. Like, yeah, that hit like that really clicked a switch for me. So it's the hits framework. Halt. When you get overwhelmed. Yeah, good.
- [28:20]
A
I. But I think, you know, halt, pause, whatever. I don't think those many of us with ADHD take enough time to pause. We just walk into chaos, and we just figure we just got to dive headfirst into something. Versus, like you say, take, you know, hit the. Hit the pause button, halt, stop. Let's. Let's just take a few minutes to, like, methodically kind of figure this out. A lot of people with ADHD miss that first step, and I'm sorry, it is what it is. Go ahead and at me. But that's what we do. So. And I think the second thing is you said something like, you know, does this need to be done today? Or is this on my to do list and it's not due for three weeks. There is a. I Think a massive difference between procrastination and strategic delay. Right.
- [29:22]
B
For sure. 100% right. Yeah. So procrastination is actually fear based. Strategic delay is.
- [29:27]
A
I mean, it's smart.
- [29:28]
B
Yeah, it's a decision.
- [29:29]
A
Yeah, it's a decision. It's like this wasn't my to do list. But you know what, it ain't due for three weeks.
- [29:35]
B
Right.
- [29:35]
A
So let's push this off. That's a smart move.
- [29:38]
B
Let's set a deadline before we push it off and be like, I'm going to set a reminder to come back to this Tuesday because I'm going to forget about it. Right, right.
- [29:44]
A
Yeah, exactly. So you kind of alluded to it, but let's kind of give people some kind of things to walk away with because that's what we do here. So is there a. Aside from the, the methodology that you just went through, is there a simple way someone can start kind of filtering those competing priorities today? Is it just going back to that methodology you just talked to? Is it, you know, is it training yourself to hit the pause button? What is it?
- [30:17]
B
Absolutely. So if you're not used to pausing, and this is a skill I had to work, I mean, it's no different than being able to run further, faster than you used to be able to do. Like, that takes practice.
- [30:30]
A
Yeah.
- [30:30]
B
So the first thing we need to do is switch out of autopilot and just at least become aware that we're not pausing. Because if you're on autopilot and you just keep going through the motions, well, nothing's going to change. So just start to become aware of when you're rushing headlong into something. Because once you start building that awareness, that's when you're going to be able to say like, oh, right, I need, I need to just pump the brakes here for a moment.
- [30:56]
A
Yeah.
- [30:57]
B
And it's real critical not to slide into judgment about yourself because you can, if you can be aware, like, oh, I did it again. I'm the worst person in the world. The posture to take is instead of judgment is awareness. So that, that's why I have my free navigators class where I teach people how to switch out of autopilot and into awareness and also out of judgment, into Curiosity. I have three questions in the free master class on my website, dramalord.com freestuff where they can go to and learn those three questions to really become aware and curious about things, which is what I call the seeker mindset. And you got to get the reps. You got to get the reps but it begins with awareness and curiosity.
- [31:34]
A
Yeah. No, there was a. I'll say this again, my first book, we got tactical. I was also. I never wrote a book before, to be perfectly honest with you, but I would have spent an enormously more, a ton more time on self awareness because I don't think I did it. I didn't put enough in there in the book. I didn't give it the, the, the attention, no pun intended, it deserved about really becoming self aware. That can be on a daily basis or a more 30,000 square foot level. You know, there's a lot of things we need to learn about ourselves in terms of pattern recognition. How. How can ADHD professionals demanding careers, how can they intentionally use that pattern recognition, you know, whether it's in their work or they're running a business.
- [32:32]
B
Yeah. So once you become aware and you take a moment, you halt. That's why I say identify what's immediately important. And a lot of folks with ADHD like myself included, if we're given just either like a jumble of words up on a whiteboard or on a sheet of paper or in a PowerPoint or a Canva and you look at it, we can process the information very quickly.
- [32:58]
A
Yeah.
- [32:59]
B
So that pattern recognition, like, we can bounce between the different points and be like, okay, I can, I can kind of see the pattern emerging out of this. And then the pro move is to have someone who, who has a different mindset run that decision by them. Be like, here's what I'm thinking we're gonna do. Did I miss anything?
- [33:19]
A
Yeah.
- [33:20]
B
And nine times out, 10, they'll be like, how the hell did you see that? How didn't you? So what do I always want?
- [33:28]
A
That should be a confidence booster too, right?
- [33:29]
B
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So. So if you get a lot of people say like, how did you. How'd you come up with this? How did you see this? Just, you know, take that as a win. Like write that down. Because we're so used to beating ourselves up about missing the deadline or whatever it is.
- [33:46]
A
Yeah.
- [33:46]
B
Take, take credit for the wins when you get them right.
- [33:49]
A
No, and it could be a tiny win. Yeah, it could be. Just like I saw something somebody else did and that changed the trajectory of this project, so to speak.
- [33:56]
B
Absolutely. I keep a running list. I call it my archive of awesome. And my Google note where I just write whenever I have little wins.
- [34:03]
A
Yeah. What's the most important thing people can walk away with with from our conversation today?
- [34:12]
B
I mean, big picture, you're not broken. Right. You're you're not broken. You. You have a set of skills that whenever you can give yourself grace and really get curious and aware of your behaviors, they can be tremendous leverage for success in your personal life or professional life.
- [34:33]
A
Yeah.
- [34:33]
B
But we also need to, you know, take the yin to that yang and realize there are areas that, that we don't do as well. And then it's a matter of not judging ourselves, but being curious about what can I do to put guardrails around myself, Whether that's people or technology or sticky notes, like whatever it is to help me there so I can really create the leverage with the things I can do. Because I've been curious and I've really leaned into what I can do that most people can't. But then also own the fact that, yeah, I'm gonna need. I'm gonna need some bolstering up on some other things and not beating ourselves up.
- [35:09]
A
Yeah. I say if you're a busy person with adhd, you do you when it comes to what works. Right?
- [35:16]
B
Absolutely.
- [35:17]
A
So, yeah, yeah. But.
- [35:19]
B
But the key is not to just throw your hands up and be like, oh, I have adhd.
- [35:23]
A
Yeah.
- [35:24]
B
And to which I would say, so, yeah, what are we. What are we going to do about that? That goes back to it being an explanation on excuse.
- [35:32]
A
Yeah, no, and I think that's. That's a great takeaway too. So. Yeah. Put up those guardrails, protect yourself from yourself. Right?
- [35:40]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And figure out ways to set you up for success.
- [35:44]
A
Yeah, yeah. Cool. All right. How can people find you?
- [35:49]
B
Yep. I am on all the socials and my website. It's just John, Melora, Johan Mo L L U R A so if you like comment, put tons of content out there. Lots of thoughts. You know, I always try to have it be something practical and tactical people can do almost daily. Love to have the interactions with people if they're interested in that navigators master class I talked about, it's just johnmillore.com freestuff and that helps them switch out of autopilot into awareness and also get out that judgment mindset and become curious about. About you and your skills. Cool.
- [36:26]
A
All right, well, thanks for hanging out with us for a little bit. Come back anytime. This was a great conversation and I know this a lot to take away from that from your experience. So thanks so much.
- [36:40]
B
I appreciate David.