There are some conversations that don't just give you an idea… they give you a lens.

A way of seeing the world that, once you have it, you can't unsee it.

That's exactly what happened in my conversation with Dr. Tracy Christopherson and Michelle Troseth.

These two have been working together for over 40 years—starting in healthcare as clinicians and evolving into leaders, consultants, and co-authors of Polarity Intelligence: The Missing Logic in Leadership. Their work has taken them across North America, helping organizations transform how they operate, lead, and sustain change.

But what struck me most wasn't just their experience.

It was the simplicity of the idea they brought… and the depth of impact it carries.

Because what they shared isn't just a leadership tool.

It's a fundamental shift in how we think.

The Napkin That Changes the Conversation

At first glance, the napkin looks simple.

Four quadrants.

Decisive, effective choices

Virtuous cycle toward greater purpose

Indecisive, unable to solve problems

Vicious cycles of polarization and power struggles

And right in the middle of it all…

OR vs AND

And that's where everything changes.

The Mistake Most Leaders Don't Know They're Making

We're trained to solve problems.

Pick the best option. Make the call. Move forward.

That's leadership… right?

But Tracy and Michelle walked through something that most leaders experience without ever naming it:

You solve something… It works… And then it comes back.

Again.

And again.

They saw this pattern across healthcare organizations everywhere. Progress would happen—but it wouldn't last.

And the reason?

They weren't dealing with problems.

They were dealing with polarities.

Problems vs Polarities

This distinction is everything.

A problem:

Has a solution

Has an endpoint

Requires a choice

A polarity:

Has no final solution

Is ongoing

Requires balance

As Tracy shared:

"Polarities are ongoing… they never end."

And when you treat a polarity like a problem…

You create a cycle.

The Vicious Cycle Leaders Get Stuck In

Here's what it looks like:

You over-focus on one side.

You experience the downside.

You swing to the other side.

You experience that downside.

And now you're stuck in a loop.

Think about:

Structure vs flexibility