When you look at the data, it is true that after people have kids, marital satisfaction declines. Having a baby drastically changes everything in your partnership that was familiar, that was predictable, that you got used to. And some of those are the reasons you got into the relationship in the first place.

That’s the reality of having kids. And as much as we love them, it can be an incredible shock to the system. There were date nights, there were lazy Sunday mornings in bed, and now there are feedings and diaper changes, feeling touched-out, packing school lunches the night before or at 5:45 in the morning. To paraphrase Ethan Hawke’s character from Before Sunset: We used to be in love. Now we’re roommates who run a day care together.

Today on ParentData, we're joined by Dr. Yael Schonbrun, a clinical psychologist, an author, and a researcher who focuses on the science and data behind healthier, happier relationships. And she’s here to help you baby-proof your relationship. Take heart: for many — probably most — couples, this issue is not hopeless.

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