← Parenting in a Tech World
Parenting in a Tech World
Teen Takeovers: What They Are, Why Teens Are Joining, and What Parents Need to Know
00:18:18
Loading summary
Transcript65 lines
- [00:00]
A
There's a scary trend spreading across the country right now, and if you have a teenager, you need to know about it. They're called teen takeovers. Large, unplanned feeling gatherings where hundreds of teens descend on a public space organized almost entirely through social media. Cities like Atlanta, Chicago, and Toledo have all seen them in just the past few weeks. And while many teens show up simply looking for fun and community, which is totally understandable, these events have also led to fights, vandalism, and in some cases, gunfire, not to mention arrests. Today we're breaking down what teen takeovers actually are, why teens are drawn to them, and what parents should watch for.
- [00:52]
B
All right, all right. Teen takeovers.
- [00:54]
A
Yeah.
- [00:54]
B
Let's start with the basics. What exactly is it, and how does one actually come together? Where are these things starting? Where are they coming from?
- [01:03]
A
So I think people from our age and stage ranges can equate it to a house party gone out of control. Right? Yeah. It's like a bunch of people find out that parents are out of town, and way too many people show up, and eventually the cops show up. Right. Because neighbors are like, nope, no.
- [01:22]
B
Yeah.
- [01:23]
A
What are teen takeovers? So I already gave you my analogy of house party gone crazy, but it's a large, unannounced feeling, meaning it seems impromptu, but it's absolutely not impromptu. It is totally prompt to gathering of hundreds of teens at a single public location, which is crazy problematic. Think malls, parks, city centers, trampoline parks, skate parks, like, you name it. Now, when they're peaceful, they're called teen trends, which to me sounds cheesy, and I don't think any teen actually calls it that. That's what, like, the adults call it that. But when they go wrong, as they usually do, they're called teen takeovers. Now, they're not new. Chicago has seen them for years. I've got nieces and nephews in Chicago. And don't you dare go to one of these, please, because I love you and I care about your future. But they're gaining momentum nationally. In fact, I just got pinged yesterday to talk to the largest station in Atlanta about this because, you know, spring break's coming up, and we're all ulster crazy. Yeah, I get it. We want to get out. These happen in, like, the downtown hubs and centers. You know, a lot of times they're just. Kids are bored or they don't feel that their neighborhoods are particularly safe, and they want to go somewhere that has a little more security, which is ironic, given what happens.
- [02:57]
B
Right.
- [02:59]
A
So that those are the basics. I'll pause there.
- [03:02]
B
Yeah, yeah. I feel like the house party analogy is one that works really well because that's kind of what it feels like. Like I've seen some of these stories pop up and it's just like teens running everywhere. It's just absolute chaos. Yeah. You know, social media is, is clearly where these things are starting and escalating. Yes.
- [03:23]
A
And spiraling out of control.
- [03:25]
B
Yeah. Well, if you think about it, if they're posting this on the likes of TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram, wherever it is, they're probably sharing that out to whoever there are, friends or not friends that they're connected to. So that's. That news is going to spread quickly. You know, how fast can that word spread though, on those sorts of platforms?
- [03:46]
A
Immediately. I mean, here's the thing. I want to take everybody listening and watching back to a time. Let's say it's the 90s, you're in high school, you can drive, and all of a sudden you have this little thing that can fit in your pocket and when you open it up, it'll show you a live, real time heat map of where all of your friends are, all of their friends are, and all of the friends of those friends are. That's powerful. Yeah, I would want to go there.
- [04:21]
B
Yeah. Like, just to see like, hey, what's going on?
- [04:23]
A
Yeah. 16 year old Titania wants to be there.
- [04:26]
B
Very curious.
- [04:27]
A
So, like, I get it. And that's what's happening if you let your kid have Snapchat, which I don't recommend before the age of 16, but even then at 16, they're gonna go on it. They're gonna be like, oh, wow, Perimeter Mall is the spot. Or 30, a stretch of beautiful beach along the Gulf coast of Florida. Like, this is where everybody is. I'm gonna go there. I wanna meet some cute girls, I wanna meet some cute guys, I wanna have fun, party, see what everybody's doing. That's where the energy is. I get it. You're drawn to it. So not only I blame Snap the most, because Snap has SNAP maps and SNAP is terrible about protecting kids. In fact, they don't. Even though they say they do. They don't. And you can listen to other episodes or. We've gone way off about that. But invitations are circulating on TikTok, on Instagram, on Discord, not to mention, like just text. Right. But word spreads extremely fast. In fact, even like police officers and law enforcement officials and parents who are monitoring social media can get caught off guard just because it can Happen so fast. I mean, all it takes is, you know, I don't know, 50 kids at once to open Snap, which they're doing 20 times an hour. See a heat map, go there. Like, it's like playing whack a mole. Like, good luck. Good luck with that. And then of course, AI tools make it even easier to amplify and spread event posts. And according to your research and thank you for this, some businesses in Toledo where this has been a problem say that they, in addition to trying to sell products and take care of customers, they are now actively monitoring social media for keywords signaling a planned takeover.
- [06:25]
B
That's crazy.
- [06:27]
A
What business owner needs that stress?
- [06:29]
B
Add that to your day to day list of things that doesn't really end. Yeah, that's.
- [06:35]
A
No, no, thank you.
- [06:36]
B
That's. It's crazy. You kind of touched on this a little bit already why teens are wanting to go there. They're bored. They, you know, FOMO is a real thing. They want to be where the things are. But you know, what do you think outside of boredom, community, I think wanting to go viral is a huge piece of it, which is crazy to think about. You know, what's really making the teens want to go.
- [07:03]
A
This should not surprise anybody. Like when you're ages 8 to 45 plus, you want to be liked, you want to be included. But in all seriousness, when you are a tween or teen, you unfortunately get your value from your peers perception of you. You want to be included, you want to be invited, you want to be accepted. You want people to think you're cool, you want people to like you and the hot cool thing that everybody's doing, you want to be a part of. You want to feel like you belong. You want to be a part of the big event that's happening. When I was in high school, it was going to music midtown in Piedmont Park. Now it's the teen takeover at Fill in the blank space. But there's so many problems. So I think, I think we've highlighted the, like, why do kids want to go right? Like it. Why wouldn't they want to go right? But I think we should talk about now, like why it's so dangerous. Yeah, let's do it and talk about this with your kids. Like it's one thing for us adults to sit around drinking our coffee and our Red Bull and like Coke Zero and you know, talking about the kids these days, but like, you gotta talk about this with your kids because it's not just a crowd. It's not just the crowd that's the problem, given the rate at which things escalate today, because people are recording and they wanna take it up to the next level. Violence happens very quickly, whether fights, stampedes, people getting crushed, or actual gun violence or knife violence. It's horrific. Yeah. Nobody needs to be caught in the middle of that. Also, arrests. Teenagers are getting arrested. No one needs that on their record.
- [09:06]
B
No. Not for the sake of going viral on social or feeling like you're a part of a community. There are so many other ways that teens can feel included or like they're a part of something that's not so dangerous. I mean, the one in Atlanta, which is home for us. 13 arrests and 11 firearms recovered. These are teenagers.
- [09:28]
A
It's horrific. And in addition to shootings and stabbings and stampedes, when you're 13, 16, 17, getting arrested can affect the rest of your life. Your ability to get into college, get a good job, perception from peers. Like, it's. It's something that doesn't need to be a part of your record. And we're not saying don't go to a large crowded thing, Right? Right. You know, go places where there is planned crowd control and security. Disney World concerts. I keep getting targeted for the Shaky Knees Festival. That looks amazing. I want to go. But also the VIP tickets. Crazy. What? Who? What? Anyway, that's another episode. But, like, go somewhere where they are planning for a crowd and there are safety protocols and measures in place to prevent that sort of thing, like metal detectors, restrooms, law enforcement, ems, emergency personnel who help in situations like this. So, yeah, it's just, like, we're not being crotchety here. Like, it is bad. It is not good. It is bad. I don't know if any teens listen to this podcast.
- [10:51]
B
I would be surprised. If you are listening and you're actually enjoying it, please let us know.
- [10:55]
A
Can we interview you?
- [10:56]
B
Yeah. Would you like to be a guest?
- [10:57]
A
Yeah, but, like, don't do it.
- [10:59]
B
Yeah, we kind of started to talk about this, you know, like, it's one thing for us adults to be having these conversations and talking about these teen takeovers. Parents do need to be talking to
- [11:11]
A
their kids about it.
- [11:13]
B
You know, what are the types of conversations they should be having with their kids if they, you know, find out one's being planned nearby or, you know, in a shocking turn of events, the teen asks their parent, like, hey, do you mind if I go to this
- [11:26]
A
thing that's so hard about this? Because kids are always asking to go places, right?
- [11:30]
B
Yep.
- [11:31]
A
And now you have to be even more hyper. Vigilant. So, you know, one option is use bark. Right. Bark can alert you to things that you would otherwise have no idea are happening. And then you can step in calmly and be like, hey, I don't think it's a great idea for me to drop you off at the mall today because I think something big is happening that you don't need to be a part of. Right. So, yeah, use bark. Or I guess the alternative is to look through your kid's phone and text and messages and DMs and all the things all the time. Good luck with that.
- [12:01]
B
Um, I got tired listening to you say option.
- [12:06]
A
Right. Um, but honestly, like, talk with. Talk with your kids. Be like, when they're asking to go somewhere that is outside the norm, just be like, hey, I just want to make sure, like, is this like something you heard about on Snapchat? Did you get like a screenshot of something that somebody posted? And are like, a lot of random people going here?
- [12:25]
B
Right.
- [12:26]
A
Because I get it. I get it. But I can't in good conscience let you go there because the risk is too high. The risk of you losing your life, getting hurt or getting arrested.
- [12:37]
B
Yeah.
- [12:38]
A
Like, police don't care when they're trying to control a crowd. They don't care if you didn't mean to do something.
- [12:45]
B
Yeah.
- [12:46]
A
They're going to control the crowd. And you don't want to get caught up in the like. But I wasn't even doing anything. Yeah, that's not the time to rationalize.
- [12:53]
B
Yeah. Unfortunately, that part doesn't matter.
- [12:56]
A
The part doesn't matter. You're in the wrong place at the wrong time. You're not where you need to be. You're not following directions. You're in handcuffs. Yep. You know, curfews are also important. You know, if your kid's out at 1am like, there are other problems probably
- [13:12]
B
that need to be discussed.
- [13:13]
A
That need to be discussed.
- [13:14]
B
Right.
- [13:15]
A
And I'm not saying I've never let my kids stay out past curvy, because I have. But, like, nothing good happens after 10 o' clock at night with kids that are unsupervised. Unless they're studying for the chess tournament, maybe. Is that a thing?
- [13:32]
B
Could be that chess practice could get real serious. Okay. What I think, like, bottom line, what's the key takeaway for parents who are listening to this and they're aware of these things going on now? Or, you know, if they've gotten to this far in the episode now, they have learned about teen takeovers.
- [13:57]
A
So according to our Research knowing the terms and signs. Like, kids using words like linking up or having vague weekend plans or high phone activity could be signs. But when I read that, I'm thinking, like, that's like, every day.
- [14:16]
B
Every day. Yeah.
- [14:16]
A
So that's not really gonna help. Also, don't just assume the events are small, right? If your kid's gonna hang out with, like three or four people, just multiply it times 10. Just go ahead, multiply it times 10. Because their social graph is amplified and amplifies those things. And even if your kid isn't sharing their location, I guarantee you somebody else in their group is. And as we've said before, our friend Chris McKenna of Protect Young Eyes has said before, your child is only as safe as their friend with the weakest digital rules. And that's basically everybody just talking with your teen. Again, I cannot overemphasize this enough. Let's say despite all of the rational, well researched conversations that you've had with your kid, they still show up to one of the things. Well, they need to know what to do, right? So it's like, hey, if you're ever in a place where the crowd is just out of control, here's the plan, right? Make sure you know multiple points of exit. If you hear shots ring out, whether it's fireworks or actually gunfire, here's what you do. Run in a zigzag motion. Make sure your tech is always charged, right? Don't leave the house with 20% battery on your phone or watch. Like, just have a plan, Have a plan. Unfortunately, in this day and age, you always have to be prepared. And don't ever be afraid to call me and let me know, hey, I lied to you, or, hey, I'm in a bad spot. Hey, I'm scared. Hey, I'm in a dangerous situation. I will always, always show up for you, no matter what.
- [15:45]
B
I think that's important for. Because I, you know, like, you know, I remember when my mom used to be like, if you are ever in. Or, you know, I don't care if you lied to me and you're somewhere you're not supposed to be. You're doing things you're not supposed to be doing. If you are in danger, I'm gonna put that all aside and I'm gonna come make sure you're okay. And I think now as an adult looking back, I'm like, she meant that. She really meant that, meant that. And so I don't know how you drive that home to teens. I know, because they do get scared that it's like, oh, now I'm going to get in trouble for this. But I think at the end of the day, if you can, like, really make your teen feel comfortable with the fact that, like, you mean that from the bottom of your heart, like, your job as their parent is to protect them and take care of them, like, they might be a little annoyed, sure, you might get in a little trouble, but not immediately. They're like, first question, course of action is like, let me get you somewhere safe. And I think now as an adult, looking back, I'm like, my mom definitely meant that. Like, it was scary. I didn't ever want to have to call her. But in situations like this, I just, like, I hope that, you know, teens feel more at ease with that today than maybe we did before.
- [16:48]
A
Yeah. PSA to all parents. Like, just be cool.
- [16:51]
B
Yeah.
- [16:52]
A
I'm not saying you need to condone bad behavior. There's not consequences, you know, but good kids make bad choices. Their brains aren't even fully formed yet until they're in their early 20s, sometimes early 30s, as we're learning from the latest research. And so they're not even capable of making the right decisions. All the times compound that with peer pressure and social media, addictive algorithms, forget it. So they need to know they can come to you. You're not going to freak out. It's just the pain and the shame and the fear that these kids are feeling based on what they have experienced online and in real life is more than we could possibly imagine. So we need to show up for them. We need to talk candidly with them and remind them we are always there for them. There is nothing they could ever do that would ever separate them from our love and our protection.
- [17:47]
B
I love it.
- [17:48]
A
And shout out to your mom. Shout out to Sam's mom. You are a cool mom. You really are a cool mom. She is. Yeah, she's a cool mom.
- [17:56]
B
We love Julie. Yes.
- [17:58]
A
Shout out Julie and Barbara. My mom. My mom's cool. Mike, is your mom a cool mom?
- [18:03]
B
Oh, my gosh.
- [18:04]
A
I can imagine.
- [18:05]
B
Like, shout out Marty.
- [18:06]
A
Shout out Marty.