Episode Overview

Podcast: Parenting in the Screen Age – The Screenagers Podcast
Host: Delaney Ruston, MD
Episode Title: No More Phones in the Bedroom: One Mom's Challenge
Date: November 3, 2025

Main Theme:
This episode focuses on the challenge of removing smartphones from the bedroom, particularly for parents who find themselves slipping into unhealthy habits around nighttime and morning phone use. Dr. Delaney Ruston interviews Lisa, a mother of two teens and a new parent coach, as she embarks on the “One Small Change Challenge”—a commitment to keep her phone out of the bedroom for improved sleep and morning routines. The episode explores the practical difficulties of changing technology habits, especially when parents themselves are struggling to model the behaviors they want to see in their children.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Problem: Phones in the Bedroom

• Lisa’s Story:
  After years of strictly keeping phones out of bedrooms for all family members, a temporary move led to everyone sleeping with their phones. Upon returning home, Lisa struggled to break the new habit, even as her teens successfully resumed the household rule.

  • “I'm finding when I wake up in the morning, it's the first thing that I'm checking.” – Lisa (02:19)
  • Checking phones immediately in the morning causes delayed rising, inefficient routines, and morning “scrolling” that interferes with starting the day.

• Sleep and Wellbeing Impact:
  Lisa recognizes the phone habit is undermining her sleep, exacerbating age-related sleep issues, and wasting valuable time.

  • “Even just the brightness of the screen…it feels unhealthy.” – Lisa (02:58)
  • She acknowledges the behavior has no meaningful benefit and is mostly habitual.

Attempts and Obstacles

• Previous Solutions:
  Lisa purchased an alarm clock with white noise to reduce reliance on her phone for sleep and waking—yet the habit persisted, especially for checking messages if her teens were out late.
  • “I need white noise to sleep…So my alarm has white noise and has my alarm. So I don't need to use the phone.” – Lisa (03:34)
• Barriers:
  • Situational exceptions for emergencies.
  • The gradual slide from reading and gaming before bed to unnecessary morning use.

The DARTS Method for Change

Dr. Rustin introduces the DARTS framework (06:38), developed in “Boosting Bravery,” as a guide for behavioral change:

1. D – Determine a Doable Target/Goal
   • Lisa’s goal: For two weeks, put the phone in another room (preferably the office, not the bathroom as that sends mixed signals to kids) every night, except when her sons are out late.
     • “I think a goal of moving it to the bathroom may be like a good start.” – Lisa (08:12)
     • Delaney's push for the office: “I'm questioning a little bit if that might, as a parent, be sending a little bit of the wrong message…as opposed to the office.” (09:01)
2. A – Arrange for Success
   • Lisa will charge her phone in the office with other electronics and line up a new bedtime read for her Kindle.
     • “I just finished such a good book…Now I'm going to have to arrange that before I go to sleep what my next book's.” – Lisa (10:35)
3. R – Reiterate Reasons
   • Lisa’s motivating reasons (“stick them on the fridge”):
     • Better sleep (“I just turned 50, so sleep's a huge…battle,” 11:11)
     • More robust and efficient morning routine.
4. T – Treat (Reward Yourself)
   • Lisa struggles with this but agrees the reward is experienced in improved mornings (workout, less rushing).
     • “I feel like the treat will be you got a great workout in and you still had time to spare.” (14:35)
5. S – Support
   • Accountability via podcast appearance and possibly recruiting friends for a group challenge.
     • “Just send a…group text to many of them and say, hey, are any of you struggling with the habit of having a device with you in your bedroom?” – Delaney (13:03)

Modeling for Kids

• Lisa notes an irony: her kids now model better phone behavior than she does, due to the strong expectations she and her husband originally set.
  • “They're actually better at it than we are. And that was partly because that is what we role modeled.” – Lisa (12:56)
• Dr. Rustin encourages Lisa to bring her sons into the process as healthy modeling of how adults, too, face and work through tough habits.

Reflections on Behavior Change

• Both agree that changing tech-related habits is difficult, even when we understand the rationale.
  • “If it were so easy, you would have already done it.” – Dr. Delaney Rustin (16:44)
• Lisa is candid about the challenge: “It seems like such a simple thing. Right. So just take the phone out of the room. Like, you've done it. Why is this so hard?” (16:29)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Habits:
  “It's an amazing magnet to the bed in the morning if one starts to do those activities in the bed. Don't you agree?” – Delaney (02:48)
• Remembering Exceptions:
  “I actually remember the time that you left it downstairs. Like, that's how it sticks out in our brain because we become so habituated.” – Delaney (05:33)
• On Role Modeling:
  “Modeling not just the change itself, but the why and the how is a true gift.” – Delaney (00:45)
• On the Psychology of Change:
  “There's a lot of reasons why it just becomes a habit and there's what makes sense and it hasn't ruined your life…You benefit from it. So that's the part of the brain that just keeps coming up with reasons why just to keep doing that.” — Delaney (16:57)
• On Parental Struggles:
  “I feel like it's more of like a problem for now, me and my husband rather than them because they're actually better at it than we are.” — Lisa (12:56)

Important Timestamps

• 01:59 – 02:48: Lisa outlines how the phone returned to her bedroom and her struggles with morning phone use.
• 03:28 – 04:49: Discussion of attempts to break the habit; using the phone for white noise and emergencies.
• 06:38 – 08:44: Introduction and step-by-step breakdown of the DARTS method.
• 09:01 – 09:19: Delaney questions Lisa's first pick for phone placement, guiding her toward modeling best practices.
• 10:35 – 11:11: Lisa and Delaney discuss preparing for success and articulating motivation.
• 12:37 – 14:13: Delaney and Lisa brainstorm practical supports and the power of group challenges.
• 15:10 – 16:12: Recap of Lisa’s DARTS plan, with Lisa restating her personal reasons for change.
• 16:29 – 16:55: Reflections on why simple habit changes can feel so difficult.

Flow & Tone

Warm, supportive, and candid. Delaney takes a coaching stance, gently probing Lisa’s real-life obstacles while affirming the commonality of these struggles. Lisa is open, reflective, and honest about the gap between her parenting ideals and her adult habits, making the conversation highly relatable to parents everywhere.

Actionable Takeaways

• Try the DARTS method: Determine a manageable goal, arrange your environment for success, regularly remind yourself why you’re making the change, provide small rewards, and seek social support.
• Model tech changes openly: Involve children in your own struggle and learning process. This builds credibility and mutual empathy.
• Start with “one small change”: Even seasoned parents and experts backslide—incremental, focused efforts can yield significant progress.
• Leverage your community: Challenge friends or family members to join you for added motivation.

Next Episode Teaser

The following episode will feature updates from Lisa and from Hilary and Tori (from the prior episode) about their One Small Change Challenges—offering listeners real-world results and reflections on shifting tech habits at home.