← Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
5 Mental Health Habits That Anchor You in Uncertain Times w/ John R. Miles | EP 609
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- [00:00]
Ray Porter
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- [00:50]
John R. Miles
Next on Passion Struck. What if the most powerful thing you could do in chaos wasn't to hustle harder, but to slow down enough to notice what holds you in episode 609 of Passion Struck? I'm not giving you hacks. I'm giving you something deeper. Five small habits backed by science, grounded in meaning that can hold you steady when everything around you feels like it's shifting. Because mental health doesn't start at collapse, it starts in the moments we stop showing up for ourselves and the quiet ones. When we finally do, let's talk about how to find your footage again. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host John R. Miles, and on the show with we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries and athletes. Now let's go out there and become Passion Struck. Hello everyone. John here and welcome to episode 607 of Passion Struck. Before we dive in, I want to take a moment to thank you. These past two weeks have been filled with milestones for the show. From being named the Number 3 Life Leadership Podcast by Million Podcasts, to winning the Gold Stevie Award for Best Independent podcast at the 2025American Business Awards and now to launching our brand new clothing line. And while all those honors I'm proud of, what they really reflect is you. The community, this movement. People who don't just consume content but engage with it. Who want to live with more clarity, more courage, more intention. That's why this month matters so much, because May is Mental Health Awareness Month. And here at Passion Struck, we're using every episode this month to talk about the things we too often push aside, the internal world behind our outer success. This week alone brought two powerful conversations into that spotlight. On Tuesday, I sat down with Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist whose work explores how practices like meditation, reflection and even prayer don't just influence our mindset, they physically reshape your brain. It's a powerful reminder that mental health isn't just emotional, it's neurological, and that we actually train our minds to become more grounded, more peaceful, more whole. Then on Thursday, I spoke with Dr. Tiffany Moon, an anesthesiologist, entrepreneur, mother and author of the new book Joy Prescriptions. We talked about how joy isn't a reward for getting through the hard stuff. It's a daily practice, a mental health discipline, one that lets you stay emotionally connected even when life feels noisy, uncertain or overwhelming. And today I'm continuing that thread with a solo episode about the habits that keep you anchored through it all. Because if the last few years have taught us anything, it's this. We can't always predict what's coming, but we can build something inside us that holds no matter what does. This episode is about the habits that help you do just that. The mental health anchors that don't just keep you afloat, they tether you back to what matters when everything around you feels unsteady. We're going to explore five science backed habits to help you cultivate emotional clarity, resilience and intention, especially in times of uncertainty. And if these conversations resonate with you, I want to remind you that we've built two new spaces where you can go even deeper. The Ignition Room, our Community for Real connection and dialogue and the Ignited Life, our new substack for Weekly Reflections, Mental Fitness Strategies and Behind the Scenes Insights. Links to both are in the show notes. Because it's not enough to just survive the hard seasons, we want to learn how to live through them with purpose, with presence and with peace. Let's get into it. Thank you for choosing Passion Struck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now let that journey begin. Let me take you back to one of the most uncertain moments of my life. I was the Chief Digital Officer and Head of Global Operations at Catalina Marketing, reporting directly to the CEO. It was a big job in a billion dollar corporation. One of those roles was you work years to Reach. From the outside, everything looks stable. Impressive, even. But on the inside, both in the company and in me, things were starting to come apart. We were in the middle of a full scale overhaul, trying to modernize systems, reinvent the business, turn a ship that didn't want to turn. But nothing was moving like it should. We hit wall after wall. Budget cuts, boardroom indecision. A private equity group unwilling to invest in the long term. And I could feel it. The tension, the drift. Something was breaking beneath the surface. And not just in the company. In me. I'd already begun thinking about leaving. Quietly. I'd started the job search. But there was a catch. I had moved my entire family to Tampa Bay for this job. And I'd made a promise. Were not moving again. And that trapped me. I couldn't find the right fit locally. I didn't want to uproot my kids. I didn't want to let anyone down. So I did what many of us do. I kept going. I pushed through. I buried the burnout. I smiled through the strain. Then one day the call came. Can you come see the CEO? And that was it. I was being let go. Even though I'd seen it coming, even though part of me wanted out, when the moment actually hit, it still crushed me. Because when you're carrying that much responsibility for a company, for a family, for your identity, you don't just lose a job, you lose your footing. Everything suddenly feels unstable, untethered, undefined. That's why I wanted to bring you this episode. Because uncertainty doesn't just come from one event. It can creep in slowly through indecision, isolation, exhaustion. And when it does, we don't need more control. We need something to anchor us. And that's what we're talking about today. Mental health habits that help you stay rooted, especially when life feels unstable. These aren't hacks or morning routines. They're evidence based, deeply human practices that help you hold your ground when the world around you shifts. They've helped me reclaim stability in some of the most unsteady seasons of my life. And my hope is they might help you do the same. What if the worst part of uncertainty isn't what happens to you, but what it quietly convinces you about yourself? Let's step back for a moment, because what you just heard in my story isn't unique. We all face seasons like that. Moments when the floor shifts beneath us and we're left asking, what now? But here's what most of us don't realize. Uncertainty doesn't just affect your schedule or your circumstances, it changes your biology. It doesn't just mess with your plans. It messes with your nervous system. When life becomes unpredictable, when your job, your identity, your relationships, or even your routines feel up in the air, your brain reacts as if you're under threat. Because in many ways, it thinks you are. At a neurological level, uncertainty activates the amygdala, your brain's fear center. It kicks off a stress response, cortisol spikes, your thoughts speed up, and your body prepares to protect itself. This is why uncertainty often doesn't show up as fear. It shows up as irritability, brain fog, emotional detachment, or over functioning. You're not just reacting to a hard moment. You're managing the invisible tax of not knowing what's next. But here's the key. You don't need total control to feel grounded. You need coherence. That doesn't mean certainty. It means something to hold onto. A sense of structure, a signal of meaning, predictability, purpose, agency. These are the signals your nervous system is wired to respond to. And that's where anchoring habits come in. These aren't grand gestures. They're small, intentional acts that remind your mind and body, I'm safe. I'm still here. There's something I can count on. From a research standpoint, this taps into behavioral activation, the idea that taking small actions can interrupt inertia and lift mood. It taps into emotional regulation, how we process and redirect difficult feelings, self efficacy, the belief that what we do still matters, and co regulation, the emotional safety we get from connection with others. Together, these habits don't eliminate the chaos, but they give you your inner structure to withstand it. As I talked about in the Serendipity Episode number 600, when you live like what you do might matter, you don't just survive the unpredictable. You start to create meaning inside it. These five anchors are how you do that. They're not about controlling the world. They're about strengthening your foundation within it. And let's start with the first anchor number one, internal credibility. We talk about credibility and leadership, but what about the kind no one sees? What about the quiet credibility you build with yourself in the moments when no one's watching? When life gets uncertain, it's not just the world outside that starts to wobble. It's your own sense of stability inside. You start to question your direction, your energy, your identity. And one of the fastest ways we unravel is by breaking the small promises we make to ourselves. We say we'll take a walk and don't. We say we'll Speak up and stay quiet. We say we'll rest and keep scrolling. Eventually, the message your brain receives isn't just I'm overwhelmed, it becomes I can't count on myself. That erosion, subtle as it is, adds up because self trust is foundational to resilience. And when you lose that, you start outsourcing your emotional compass. You wait for the feedback, the affirmation, the green light from someone else. But here's the shift. The fastest way to rebuild internal stability is to make one small promise to yourself and keep it. Not the perfect promise, not the all or nothing routine, just something you can actually follow through on today. Psychologist Albert Bandura coined a term for this. Self efficacy. It's your belief that your actions still hold weight even when the world feels out of control and the research is clear. When you take intentional, doable action, even during chaos, your brain gets the message, I'm still in here. I still have agency. I matter to me. You don't need a 30 day overhaul. You need a micro act of self integrity. Write one sentence in a journal, prep your lunch instead of skipping it. Text someone instead of overthinking it. That's the seed of internal credibility. And here's the paradox. The smaller the promise, the bigger the trust. You rebuild. Because when you do the thing you say you'll do, even when the world is wobbling, you stop being a stranger to yourself. You become someone you can rely on. And that becomes a personal anchor you can build on every day. Self trust isn't loud, it's earned in the quiet. So that begs the question, when was the last time you, you kept a promise to yourself that no one else knew about? How did that shift something inside? And here's the thing. Self trust doesn't mean doing it all alone. Because while internal credibility helps you steady your own ground, belonging is what reminds you that you're not standing there by yourself. In episode 606, I shared something called the mattering mental health loop. The idea that when we believe we matter, we engage more. And when we engage, we start to notice more, especially in others. That awareness leads to empathy. And over time, it builds the kind of relational safety that allows us not to just survive, but to thrive. Belonging isn't just a feeling, it's a stabilizer. And in uncertain times, it might be the most powerful anchor we have. That's why this next anchor matters so much. Anchor number two, build a belonging ritual. Not performative connection, not scrolling, but actual moments of co regulation where you feel seen, mirrored and emotionally realigned. When life feels uncertain. One of the first things to slip is connection, not just to others, but to yourself. We stop reaching out. We default to isolation. We become transactional in our relationships and performative in our presence. Not because we don't care, but because when we're emotionally untethered, we instinctively start protecting our energy. The problem is, protecting becomes withdrawn. And soon the story in your head isn't just, I need space. It becomes, maybe I don't matter right now. Maybe I'm too much. Maybe I need to figure this out alone. But here's what the science tells us. Social baseline theory developed by psychologists James Cohn and Lane Beckett shows that our brains aren't wired for solo survival. We literally function better with connection. In one of their studies, just holding a loved one's hand during a stressful task reduced the brain's threat response. Being around trusted people lowers stress, improves mood, and even regulates blood pressure. And it goes further. Just thinking of someone who makes you feel safe can calm your nervous system. That's not just emotional comfort. That's neuroscience. And as Dr. Andrew Newberg shared in our conversation earlier this week, rituals of connection and meaning activate areas of the brain associated with emotional regulation, compassion and clarity. We are biologically designed to sync with others. We heal faster, think clearer, and feel safer together. That's why you don't just need connection. You need a belonging. Ritual. I still register in someone else's world. I'm not alone here. I matter even when I'm quiet. This can be as simple as a weekly call with one trusted friend, a shared playlist you update with someone you care about, a recurring check in text thread with no pressure, just presence. Showing up in a community like the Ignition Room, where people are committed to showing up with you. You don't need hundreds of people. You need one safe connection you don't have to earn. Because the moment you feel like you belong again, your nervous system relaxes, your thoughts slow down, and your capacity expands. We'll get into the next anchor in just a moment, but since it's Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to remind you that this entire month on Passion Struck is dedicated to conversations that don't just inspire you, they support you. From solo episodes like this to interviews with experts like Dr. Andrew Newberg and Gretchen Rubin, we're diving deep into what it means to care for your mind, your emotions, and your sense of meaning in a chaotic world. Stick around, because what's next is something I know you'll want to hear. Welcome back. Before the break, we talked about how connection, especially through belonging rituals regulates our nervous system and reminds us that we matter. But here's the thing. Even when you feel connected, life can still leave you feeling directionless. That's why this next anchor is so crucial. Because when everything feels uncertain and you're drifting between roles, routines, or responsibilities, you don't need more control. You need a compass. And that leads to anchor number three. Interrupt the drift with a why. Sometimes, when life gets uncertain, it's not just your plans that fall apart. It's your clarity, your direction, your why. You start waking up in a fog. You go through the motions. You show up, but you don't quite feel like you're in your life anymore. It's not burnout, not quite depression. It's drift, that quiet emotional detachment that doesn't scream but seeps. Here's what I've learned. When you're in that place, you don't need a five year plan. You don't need to overhaul your career or reinvent your identity. What you need is a why that still makes sense right now. A reason to act that cuts through the ambiguity. And neuroscience backs this up. When you operate with a sense of intrinsic purpose, meaning you're motivated by values, not just outcomes, you activate deeper neural pathways tied to motivation, emotional regulation, and even pain tolerance. Research from psychologists like Victor Stretcher and Emily Esfahani Smith shows that people who live with a clear sense of purpose report greater life satisfaction, handle stress more effectively, recover from setbacks faster, and even show improved immune function. Purpose doesn't just inspire you, it protects you. But let me be clear. This isn't always about knowing your grand mission. In fact, when I lost my job at Catalina Marketing, my sense of identity cracked. I'd been a senior leader overseeing operations, reporting directly to the CEO, and we were trying to save a company that was slowly collapsing. The board wouldn't commit, the funding dried up, the writing was on the wall. And I had this moment sitting at home after the call, where I thought, who am I now? What does any of this mean anymore? I had no plan. I just had questions. And eventually I realized you don't find your purpose fully formed. You follow the flicker. You lean into the values that still feel true even when everything around you feels false. So here's the invitation. Pick one value that still feels solid. Not one that sounds good, one that feels like you. Maybe it's integrity, creativity, service, joy, resilience, curiosity, whatever it is, make one small decision today that aligns with that value. Send the email. Take the walk, Set the boundary, make the thing even. The smallest action, when it's tied to purpose, becomes an anchor. Because you're no longer moving aimlessly. You're moving with alignment. You might not control what's happening around you, but you can decide what still matters within you. And that's how you interrupt the drift. But clarity without space, that's another trap we fall into. So maybe you found your why. Maybe you've taken that first step back into alignment. You've interrupted the drift just enough to remember what matters. But clarity without space, that's another trap we fall into. We use purpose as fuel, and then we burn through ourselves trying to live it out. We fill every moment, push through every signal, convince ourselves that because the work is meaningful, it should never feel heavy. But here's the truth. Even meaningful work can crush you without space. And that's why this next anchor might be the most important one yet. Anchor number four, Create emotional margin. You can have purpose, you can have connection. But if you don't have space, it will still feel like too much. Because emotional resilience isn't just about being strong. It's about having room to feel, to process, to recover. Think about your calendar or your energy or your emotional bandwidth. Most of us live stretched to the edges. We fill the schedule. We say yes, we multitask, we answer one more email, take one more meeting, push through one more feeling. And we don't realize we've hit the limit until something small tips us over. The sigh, the snap, the silence. This is why you need emotional margin. Not just physical space, but not just time off, but psychological white space. Moments when you're not producing, performing, or problem solving, just being. In neuroscience, this connects to the default mode network, a brain system that activates during rest and introspection. When you create margin, your brain can finally synthesize emotions. It connects dots, processes memory, and recalibrates your nervous system. Psychologist Mark Brackett at Yale calls it permission to feel. Because without that margin, your brain just stores everything it holds under the pressure, the tension, the emotions you didn't have time to metabolize until one day they overflow. So this begs the question, how do you create margin not with a week long vacation, but with daily micro pauses that tell your nervous system you don't have to hold everything right now, a walk with no podcast breathing before you reply. A 5 minute no input zone after work journaling without a prompt setting a firm stop time in your day, even if the list isn't done. This isn't laziness. This is leadership of your emotional bandwidth. Because your nervous System wasn't designed to sprint all day. It needs rhythm. And when you honor that rhythm, you don't just become more stable, you become more you. So now you've given yourself space. You've stepped out of the noise long enough to breathe again. And maybe for the first time in a while, your nervous system isn't bracing for the next hit. But here's what happens next. Once there's space, the doubt creeps in. You start asking yourself, am I doing enough? Is this even working? What if I'm still behind? That's because we've been conditioned to chase big outcomes. Milestones, metrics, validation. But in uncertain times, you don't need proof in the form of applause. You need proof that you're still making progress. That's why this last anchor matters so much. Anchor number five, Virtualize meaningful microwins. We're taught to look for turning points. The job offer, the big win, the clean break, the redemption arc. But in real life, especially in the middle of uncertainty, progress rarely looks cinematic. It looks like one intentional choice followed by another and then another. Small, quiet, cumulative. And here's why this matters. Especially when things feel unstable. When you track your micro wins, small value aligned actions that reinforce identity, you reinforce your brain's reward system. Specifically, you activate dopamine pathways linked to motivation and confidence. You're not just feeling better, you're building internal evidence that you can still move forward. Even here. This is what behavioral scientists call self reinforcing feedback loops. When the brain sees that action leads to reward, even a tiny one, it's more likely to repeat that behavior. The loop says, I did something. It mattered. I can do it again. When I was rebuilding my life after losing that executive job, it wasn't some dramatic reinvention. It was small wins that kept me grounded. Finishing a walk I said I'd take. Sending out 20 job applications in a day. Writing a paragraph I didn't feel like writing. Following up with someone who mattered to me. I didn't always feel like it, but every time I followed through on something small, I chipped away at the doubt. So here's the invitation. Pick one micro win you can repeat it. Could be one sentence in a journal. Drinking water before coffee. Five minutes of breath work. Texting one person without overthinking it. Celebrating a boundary you held. Then mark it. Physically. Note it. Say it out loud. Track it, share it. Let your brain register that mattered. Because when life feels uncertain, you need more than goals. You need evidence that you're showing up, that you're building strength, that Your life still has forward motion, even when it's quiet. So much of mental health isn't about fixing what's broken. It's about protecting what's working. And these micro winds, they become emotional scaffolding. Not flashy, but steady. The kind of steady that keeps you standing while everything else is shifting. So let's bring it back to the moments that shake us. Losing the job, facing the fog, feeling the drift. Not because everything collapsed at once, but because piece by piece, it started to feel like you did. And in those moments when everything feels shaky, we don't need grand reinventions. We need anchors, habits, human rituals that remind us we're still here, we still matter. We still have agency, even in the dark. That's what this episode was really about. Not how to fix uncertainty, but how to stand inside it without losing yourself. Because here's the truth. You can't build a meaningful life on emotional fumes. You have to create the foundation that can hold what matters most. If something stirred in you while listening, hold onto it. Because Mental Health Awareness Month isn't just a theme. It's a commitment to your internal world, to your capacity, to your sense of meaning. And we're continuing that journey all month long with solo episodes on how to reframe your inner world, how to build emotional ecosystems, and how to create sustainable mental health habits that honor who you really are. Because the goal isn't just to survive the chaos. It's to stay grounded in what makes life worth living. And next Tuesday, I'm joined by Dr. Zach Mercurio, author of the new book the Power of Mattering. We'll explore why being seen, needed and significant isn't a nice to have. It's a biological and psychological necessity. If today's message landed, Zach's episode will speak directly to your core. So be sure to hit follow. Subscribe to the ignited life for more reflections. And join us in the ignition room, our community built for people just like you. Belonging is like you're being picked for the team. Belonging is feeling welcomed, accepted and connected into a group. Something like inclusion is being able to play in the game, being able to play an active role in the group. But mattering is feeling that the team wouldn't be complete without you. Mattering is feeling significant to individuals in the group. And as always, if this episode mattered to you, leave a five star review. Share it with someone who needs a steady voice. Subscribe to our YouTube channel so you don't miss what's next. Keep showing up for yourself and for what you value. Most. Because life won't always offer stability. But you can create it. One anchor at a time. One connection at a time. One moment of mattering at a time. Until next time. Notice more. Name what matters and live life. Passion struck.