← Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Jodi Blinco on the Inner Alchemy of Being Human | EP 655
00:53:17
Loading summary
Transcript52 lines
- [00:00]
John R. Miles
Why choose a Sleep Number Smart bed.
- [00:02]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Can I make my site softer?
- [00:03]
John R. Miles
Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler? Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side. Your Sleep Number setting It's the Sleep number biggest sale of the year. All beds on sale up to 50% off the limited edition smart bed plus free premium delivery with any smart bed and adjustable base ends Labor Day. All Sleep number Smart beds offer temperature solutions for your best sleep. Check it out at a Sleep number store or sleepnumber.com today. Coming up next on Passion Struck, I.
- [00:33]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Think we can all relate to knowing what it feels like when you have to look in the mirror or look at that stuck point and say, ugh, I really don't like the way that feels. I really don't like that I've done that or said that or that's the pattern that I'm in. I think we look at that from a place of judgment and so that creates a whole host of feelings that go with that. Whether we feel disappointed in ourselves, we feel shame, guilt, which I think is also very common. And so it's easier to stay in that stuck point when we don't pull it out, look at it and address it. We just push it away.
- [01:14]
John R. Miles
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host John R. Miles. And on the show we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, veterans, visionaries and athletes. Now let's go out there and become Passion Struck. Welcome Back to episode 655 of Passion Struck. I want to start today by saying thank you. Nearly 36% of you come back week after week and I don't take that for granted. Your loyalty is what makes this movement possible. We're now in our final week of our Rediscovering Wellness series. Over the past few weeks we've been redefining wellness as more than diet and exercise. Instead, we've been looking at it as a four part journey. Fuel for the body, feel for the mind, fulfill through purpose and flow through spirit. Each step builds on the last, creating a path toward healing from the Inside out. Last week we explored how meaningful work is a health choice with Christopher Wong Mickelson and Jennifer Tosti Karas. Then Teen so showed us how leaders can build people centered cultures. And in my solo, I introduced the fulfillment gap, the invisible space between the work we do and the meaning we hope it will bring. Now we've arrived at flow, the final and to me, the most often overlooked part of wellness. Flow isn't just about productivity or being in the zone. It's about alignment. It's about connecting with your inner truth, your energy and your spirit in a way that carries you forward without resistance. And that's why I wanted to have today's conversation. My guest is Dr. Jodi Blinko, author of Inner Transforming Everyday Bullshit into Sunshine. Jodi is a trailblazer who's built platforms like the Youth School of Zen Leader and Yoga cowgirl, places where science meets soul and leadership begins with radical self awareness. What drew me to Jodi's work is her radical honesty about how chaos, patterns and pain can either hold us hostage or become invitations to transform. She teaches that resilience isn't inherited, it's built. And that flow comes not from doing more, but from dropping the old stories that keep us stuck and stepping into the truth of who we really are. In this conversation, we dive into why resilience isn't inherited, it's built how to spot emotional patterns before they become life patterns, why energy management matters more than time management, and why feminine leadership is exactly what the world needs. Now, before we get started, I want to share something special. Our new store, start mattering.com is now live. It's part of our commitment to the mattering revolution, our call to reclaim worth, purpose and belonging in a world that too often makes us feel invisible. Each hoodie, tee and hat carry symbols of uniqueness, transformation and and ripple effects, reminders that you matter. So live like it. So if today's episode resonates with you, I encourage you to check it out at Start Mattering. Com. It's more than apparel. It's joining a movement. Now let's get into my episode with Dr. Jody Blinko. Thank you for choosing Passion Struck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now let that journey begin. I am so excited today to bring Dr. Jodi Blinko to Passion Struck. Welcome Jody. How are you today?
- [05:10]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
I'm well, John. Thank you for having me.
- [05:13]
John R. Miles
Today we are discussing your brand new book, Inner Alchemy. Congratulations on its release. That must be A huge moment for you. I know how big it was for me as well.
- [05:24]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Yes, it was. And I can share more about that as we get into our conversation. But it was a long time coming, that's for sure.
- [05:32]
John R. Miles
People always say to me, your book came out so quick, And I was like, well, you missed the seven and a half years that preceded writing the book because I had to do all this research.
- [05:43]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Yes.
- [05:44]
John R. Miles
Or me search in the case of your book.
- [05:46]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Yes, absolutely. I love that. Me search. Yes. It was about six or seven years of definitely the me search, but also working through the voice in the head that said, no, nobody's going to read this. Nobody wants it. All that good stuff that you have to work through, too.
- [06:04]
John R. Miles
So you open up Inner alchemy with a bold premise that life's messiest moments can become the raw material for personal growth. Was there a specific bullshit in Sunshine Moment that first sparked that realization for you?
- [06:19]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Wow. I don't know that I can recall a specific moment per se, but I think it was a culmination of so many of those moments where I had a choice in the moment to fall victim to what was happening or get stuck in the chaos or stuck in the bullshit, or I think, maybe hope that the sunshine was gonna last forever. A culmination of so many of those moments together where I said, you know what? The common denominator in all of this is me. The opportunity really lies within me to respond, respond or do with the moment what I will and have that be something that was going to either serve me or continue to get in my way. And when I started putting these stories and these moments down on paper, if there was a moment, I think that was the opportunity where I said, hey, you know what? I have to take control here of what's happening. We can't control the things around us. We can't control what's going to happen or not happen. But we can always control us and our reaction to those moments. And so that's, I would say, the spark or the connection to. I'm having this experience over and over again where I'm having to look in the mirror and look at myself and look at the opportunity and what I can control. And that became the common denominator, and that became the string of stories and experience that I eventually put them together and said, you know what? I know what I've gained from taking a look at this and really developing this skill. And maybe, maybe, just maybe, there might be some value to others of humanizing that process that we go through that it's not a matter of if we will have those feelings, it's when and how often and how we can respond in those moments. I would say the culmination of it all.
- [08:17]
John R. Miles
So true. And I opened up my own book talking about the concept of grit and how I think grit gets you part of the way there, the combination of passion and perseverance. But I felt that there was a missing leg to the triangle, which I call intentionality, or behavioral scientists would call it self control. Because you need to make choices that align that grit in the way that you want your life to unfold. If not, you're going to go the opposite direction. And in a similar way, you write that traits like grit, self confidence and resilience aren't gifted, they're forged, which kind of plays into that tensionality aspect. What personal struggle taught you that lesson the hard way?
- [09:06]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
I think we can all connect to struggles that we can remember as far back as being a child, being eight. For me, I think I've got some experiences where I go back to 8 years old, 9 years old. The moment that really comes forward as we're talking about this is I remember when I first graduated college and I just was floundering. I just could not figure out what was I supposed to do in this world, what was my purpose, where how was I going to make adult money and support myself? And so I remember that period of time really being a challenge for me where I just wasn't connecting to myself in a deeper way. At the time, I really couldn't put my finger on it that way, but I wasn't connecting to myself. I was looking outward for the answers, looking for that external approval which I know you talk a lot about, John. And so that period of my life, there was probably a five year period where I was just trying to figure it out and I would get moments of traction, but never really found my way, if you will. And so that was a period of time that was really tough for me. And then once I transitioned into higher education, which I've been in in higher education for the last 20 years, but transition into higher education and found some traction there in coaching and development and leading people. And so I found this starting point of my purpose, if you will. And then it became time to really challenge myself when I got my first promotion and I was called to move literally across country. I was born and raised in Ohio and I got this opportunity to move to Las Vegas. And I remember saying to my boss at the time, oh my gosh, what am I going to do if they really offer me this job. And I write, I tell this story in the book about how this crippling fear was just taking over me. And I was looking for any excuse or reason as to why I couldn't take this promotion that I had wanted, that I had interviewed for very intentionally and willingly. But once it got called into action and it was time to move through that fear, that's when just. It was a really crippling time in my life that I had to push through for something that I wanted. And that was a moment where I look back now and that move across country and that transition and that promotion was one of the best things I ever did because it taught me, one, how to move through that crippling fear and anxiety. Two, that those feelings are going to be there anytime you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
- [11:57]
John R. Miles
And.
- [11:58]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
And then you get this experience of when you get to the other side. Wow, I did it. I made it through. Now, once I made that big move across country, it wasn't like, oh, things are just rainbow and butterflies and I'm good to go. There was another period of just the transition of living in a new place, living in a different place, and the new leadership role. But those are two moments that really come to mind as shaping and moving through those feelings that without a doubt, all of us can experience at one point or another and definitely hold us back.
- [12:31]
John R. Miles
Jody, I'm glad you brought that up, because I myself have done my fair share of changing cities, changing jobs, only to end up in a similar emotional place to where I was before. How do we know when we're in a cycle that needs to be broken?
- [12:52]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Yeah, I'll draw on my experience. I was living in Boston at the time, and I had climbed what I. The ladder of what I was supposed to do. Right. My goal was to climb the ladder and drive a certain car and live in a certain place. And so I had made it to that point and had a certain title in my corporate journey, and I still felt this feel. I got there and I remember this very vividly. And I thought, there's still something else. This isn't it. I wasn't fulfilled. Right. I had reached for all the external things that I was supposed to and all these things that were going to get me approval and fulfill me. And I was there, and I had arrived, and I remember sitting and looking at this closet full of clothes and this car and this furniture, and I just said to myself, this is great, but this isn't fulfilling me in here. And I think, to answer your question, being close enough to your own internal dialogue and yourself and tapped into, which is way easier said than done, with a million things distracting us in the day to day, but that connection to that inner voice to say, am I chasing what I am supposed to chase or am I living my life in a way that is authentic to me and what's really fulfilling me? That is, I think, part of that connection to your passion, but also the voice that tells you when you're in a cycle or when you're in a pattern that is either not good for you or it's unfulfilling, or you're doing it out of responsibility, well, you're doing it out of seeking versus seeking external fulfillment versus what's really most important to you. So at the root of it all, whether it's your passion or a cycle that's not serving you, that connection to you, which is probably the root of where we need to start, or else we're just. It's all noise.
- [14:52]
John R. Miles
Yeah. So I had a similar experience to you, eerily similar. So I can relate to exactly what you're going through. And for me, the turning point finally came when I looked in the mirror and I finally said the same question to myself that you write about. What is my role in all of this? How am I complicit in the situation I find myself in? What helped you find the courage to ask that question and then stay with the answer?
- [15:22]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
I go back to those moments of I know what it felt like. And I still have those moments even today, where I have to check myself and say, are you doing this for you? Are you doing this for. For someone or something else? And I think if you find yourself in a pattern where maybe you're working in a job that's not fulfilling, or you're doing something that is for other people and not for you? We know what that feels like and its essence. It's more draining than it is fulfilling. And that feeling starting to ask yourself, what do I value? Do I value this feeling? Feeling of feeling grounded and anchored and purposeful? Or is there value that I'm chasing in someone else's approval that's causing me to feel this energy drain or this pull? What that feeling of what do I value? What do I want? And then what actions do I need to take to be able to feel more of what I want to feel?
- [16:24]
John R. Miles
I think that's a big part of it. I know for me, and I think you were describing this for a long time. I was wearing what I call the mask of pretense. I was putting on kind of a face to the outside world. Hiding in some ways who I was. Because in. In my world as a corporate executive, I'm an introvert trying to exist in a highly extrovert world where I remember just coming home and there'd be days where I was just so emotionally exhausted. I just wanted to sit down and veg and do nothing because I had spent so much emotional energy trying to be someone else for the environment I was in. And I think a lot of people find themselves in that. Because we end up living this life, we think we should be leading instead of what we could be leading. And I think when we fall in that trap, we end up having a lot of regulators. I sometimes call them addictions. It could be, you cope through alcohol, you cope through food, you cope through shopping, you cope through relationships. There are many different ways to manufacture peace, which is a word that you wrote about. What's your advice for someone who's stuck in that same loop and isn't ready yet to admit it?
- [17:50]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
I think we're on our own journey. We are all having a lived experience in our own way, in our own time. And we come to these lessons and realizations. I believe in our own time as well. Divine timing, whatever you want to call it. And I forget how the old saying goes. I'm sure you've heard it. It's the teacher will appear when the student is ready. And so I think part of that journey is compassion for yourself, for where you are. And even if we're not ready to admit it, outwardly, we know somewhere in here when we're not living in a way that's aligned with what is best for us, with what's in our purpose, our passion, our just the life that we envision for ourselves. We can feel. Feel that sense of misalignment. And whether we feel it consciously or subconsciously. And John, you talk about the regulators or the addictions or the patterns, and so we come to that in our own time. And having compassion for where you are on your journey, I think is easy for me to say, but it's not always easy to do when you're in those moments. Because a lot of times it can feel like we're just surviving, we're doing the best that we can. And I think too sometimes those regulators to create or manufacture a sense of peace, like you said, it's. We're doing that in a way to survive and whatever survival looks like for us. I was just going to say the you ask if we're not ready to admit that. I think if we're holding space and holding compassion for ourselves, and in the moments where we can consciously recognizing, you know what, this isn't what's best for me, but I'm making a conscious choice to do this thing or engage in this behavior. I know it's not what's good for me, but the more conscious we become about that, I think the stronger and stronger that gets along our journey. And eventually we're dumping out the box of stuff and being able to say, this is in the box, this is in the box, this is in the box. Here's the choice that I'm going to make to move forward based off where I am. And so that compassion is probably the first step, because if you hold that compassion for yourself, that, I think, in its own way, makes it easier to admit, you know what? This isn't where I want to be. I want to eventually be here. And I know that these choices, these behaviors are standing in the way of this vision that I ultimately have for myself long term.
- [20:31]
John R. Miles
One of the things you write about is you challenge readers to identify their chaos and triggers. And I remember for me, as I was trying to do the. Do that inner work that I needed to regain my authenticity, one of the things that I ran into was a lot of PTSD that I hadn't dealt with. And so for me, those triggers were what cognitive behavioral therapy calls stuck points. And it was a difficult process, but I had to name those stuck points in order to get myself to move beyond them. Why do you think that's such a vital step in the alchemical process?
- [21:18]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Well, if we aren't able to really identify and look at those stuck points and name them for what they are and make it real, then we. It's, I think, super common to just stay in the same cycle because we don't even want to look at it and call it out and make it real. Because if we do that, then that creates a whole host of other feelings that are superhuman. And I think we can all relate to knowing what it feels like when you have to look in the mirror or look at that stuck point and say, ugh, I really don't like the way that feels. I really don't like that I've done that or said that or that's my. That's the pattern that I'm in. I think we look at that from a place of judgment, and so that creates a whole host of feelings that go with that. Whether we feel disappointed in Ourselves, we feel ashamed, guilt, which I think is also very common. And so it's easier to stay in that stuck point when we don't pull it out, look at it and address it. We just push it away, hope it goes away. And maybe we, that's where those addictive behaviors or those piece manufacturing behaviors take over. Because if we ignore it and we act or behave or use one of those behaviors over top of it, we can feel like, well, I'm okay, it's okay. I don't, as long as I don't call it out and make it real, it doesn't exist. And if it doesn't exist, have to feel those feelings that go along with it. And I think eventually at some point, if you allow yourself to get there, just that voice, that feeling, that stuck point gets louder and louder until it ultimately forces you to take a look at it. And if you don't, the path that you have been on will just remain the same. And sometimes for people that that's okay. But I think the more conscious you can become around your sticking points, your behaviors, your regulators, as I call them in the book, that chaos will only continue to add compound over time.
- [23:40]
John R. Miles
I absolutely agree with you. And one of the gaps that I always talk about is when I was trying to make this change in my life. It's so difficult when you're so accustomed to the life that you're living, the amount of money that you're making, the social kind of environment that you've created for yourself, which is based on possessions and other things to say, I'm going to make this major change. Because when you know the known, it's obvious to you what your world looks like. When you don't know the unknown, it's like standing on the edge of a cliff trying to figure out how you're going to cross to the other mountainside that you see on the horizon.
- [24:27]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Yeah.
- [24:27]
John R. Miles
And in the book there was this powerful moment where you write, your known potential is fabulous, but your unknown potential will help you change the world. And I love that line, how can someone begin to tap into that unknown and have the courage to take those steps into the unknown?
- [24:47]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Yeah. I think I also talk about the concept of the box in the book. And John, you just touched on this so beautifully of we live, whether we realize it or not, we've created these boxes for ourselves with the way that we live our life, the, the style, the what we do for a living, just whatever you have in your box that you've built this life around. Even if we Know that it's not good for us, doesn't fulfill us. It's limiting. It's not the ultimate life that we want. It's known. We know what to expect from it. So that sense of safety can be very powerful. And it's when we start to outgrow this box consciously and subconsciously, the feeling of living the same life or living in this box almost becomes crippling in a way, when you start to outgrow it. And it's almost like you have no other choice but to say, all right, I'm going to have to do some things that are unknown, that are scary, that will require me to make some changes, take some leaps of faith, take some micro actions. And that goes back to answering your question of where can we start with that. And I think that starting point of breaking out of that box is even if you don't know what you want the other side of your box or your bigger box to look like, even if you're not clear on that, start writing out and connecting to the moments where you have feelings that don't feel good either. You feel constricted, you feel drained. You feel like you're having to show up as somebody completely different than yourself. Even if you don't know who that authentic self is yet, you just know that, gosh, I feel like I'm having to put on a mask. I'm having to be somebody that I know inside. I'm not. Pay attention to those moments and those feelings. Those are your starting points to say, how do I want to feel? This is this experience, this moment, these actions are making me feel this way. Asking yourself, how do you want to feel? And then taking micro actions to start to build a bigger box or to push a wall of that box down and look to the other side to say that we're going to make this gigantic life change overnight. I just don't think that from my experience, that's not how it works. We were talking very early on when we started this conversation of how people don't see the six or seven years of the writing of the book before it comes out. These feelings, these emotions that the box, if you will, has been there for a really long time. So being able to identify the feelings that go with the experiences that we don't care for, and then being able to say, how do I want to feel? And then creating some micro actions to start to push the walls of that box together down.
- [27:59]
John R. Miles
So, Jod, I want to go into the concept of mindfulness and how it meets accountability and you reframe mindfulness not just as meditation, but as you call it, radical presence, being all in with your emotions, even the hard ones, which a lot of us don't want to do. How do you teach people to embrace presence when it's so deeply uncomfortable for so many of us?
- [28:28]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Just the concept itself of being connected with your emotions. Like you said, John, it's not always comfortable, it's not always a place where we want to be. And so paying attention to when you're in one of those moments. And I think it's very common that the avoidance of emotions is probably happening in nanoseconds for people where it's easy to not realize that rather than feeling that feeling or staying present the moment you pick up your phone or you leave the room or seek out some sort of other distraction, if changing the story and becoming more present and paying more attention to those emotions is something that you feel is the next step for you or you want to really work on, I would say going back to those micro moments where you find yourself checking out where you find yourself picking up the phone or reaching for that distraction. It is so common nowadays, even in conversation to have your mind wander. Go off into five, six, seven different places. You might find yourself listening to me right now on this podcast and your mind is in five other places. I think it's very common nowadays. There are a million distractions out there for our mind and our just our being to want to wander and be somewhere else or seek out those distractions. So I would say notice when you find when that's happening for you and what is it that you reach for to fulfill that moment? Where are you going in that moment where you're leaving that radical presence and you're going somewhere else and that I'm not just talking about when you're with other people. That's equally, and if not more important when you're with yourself, when you're alone with yourself, your mind starts to wander. Stories, emotions, thoughts start to creep in that feel uncomfortable. Where is the place that you choose to go? And asking yourself what happens if you, let's say it's your phone, you go to pick up your phone to scroll on social media. What happens if you don't do that? What happens if you choose to just sit and be. And I know our lives are super busy nowadays and that's a distraction all by itself. That was one of my go tos. If I stayed busy, well then I didn't have to sit and be present with myself. I could be present with others I could be present in if I was in a coaching situation, really being present there for someone else. But I really struggled to stay present with myself. And so I think noticing what do you reach for, when do you reach for it? And especially when you're with yourself. What are you avoiding to step out of that present moment?
- [31:28]
John R. Miles
I wanted to talk to you about the stories that you share in the book because you say that they're meant to humanize the transformation that people go through. That growth is messy, non linear and deeply personal. How can we give ourselves and others more permission to grow imperfectly?
- [31:51]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
That goes back to that compassion piece. And I hesitate and I pause and I take a deep breath because I myself, I think in still evolving on that journey, that journey of perfectionism tendencies or it has to look or be a certain way and being okay with you and who you are, that authentic version of who you are allows you to just show up in the world. But being okay with that imperfection I do think really starts with everything that we talked about today of noticing your own patterns so you can be more connected to yourself, noticing your sticking points, what's happening, what are your triggers so that you could be more connected to yourself. Noticing those moments of that do send you down a path that doesn't allow you to be completely present or with you. And again that goes back to so that you can be listening and connected within because the more that you're there, the more self aware you are of what's happening which allows you to have that compassion and not feel like it has to be anything other than what it is. And again, I know that's way easier said than done, but at the root of all this, it's connecting to who am I, what's happening within my being, my mind, my body, my spirit, what do I want, what am I going to do to take that step to push down the walls to get there. And then ultimately it's not about being anything for anyone, it's about just showing up for you. And I think that's part of what this whole life journey is about, this evolution that we're all on.
- [33:54]
John R. Miles
Yeah. One of the things that you talk about in the book is having mirror moments, which is similar to the work of Louise Hayes. And these mirror moments force you to acknowledge recurring patterns. But I want to take this question in a different direction. You've spent a lot of time in higher education and kids these days are spending more and more moments of their valuable time when they should be connecting with each other, connecting with digital Means. And I was having this conversation with Allison Wood Brooks, who's a professor at Harvard who specializes in communication. And we got into this dialogue when we were talking about mirrors. And oftentimes when you're talking to someone through understanding their experiences, you're actually holding up a mirror to yourself. Because I think we can all see each other in another person's stories and we learn from it. But in the society that we're living in today, where we're losing, especially for adolescents, so much of that type of connection that you and I grew up with, how many of those types of moments of seeing our reflection in someone else do you think kids are starting to miss out on? And how do we begin to correct what now I think has been going on for some time?
- [35:23]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Great question and I love the direction. It's interesting too. I think for better or worse, kids will mirror what they see. And there are so many adults nowadays that are pulled into the digital space. And so I think they are watching the adults that they are around. They're watching how adults move through their own moments. And then there's this added channel of I was just around my 8 year old nephew and he's watching these YouTube short videos, just one right after the other for hours. And on these just random, I can't even tell you there was somebody unboxing Amazon deliveries and then there was somebody else doing a video on pancake batter and baking. And so it's interesting what they choose to gravitate to. And I would say a couple things to this question. One, I think they're going to mirror what they see. And if they see you reaching for a device or stuck to a device, that just becomes normal way of behavior. There's nothing bad wrong about it just becomes the thing that you do. I think the danger in that too is at a very early age they're becoming more disconnected from themselves because the device is there. And that ability to stay present becomes challenged at a very young age as well. We don't need help being challenged to stay present at any age, but you start to learn that behavior at a young age and it does make it even more challenging. I don't know that I'm gonna be able to fully answer your question here, John. But I think just being a aware of just as much as what's happening with you, as if you have children, what's happening with them and what are they mirroring, how are they showing up, what are they mirroring and what are they seeing in their environment. And then the whole device conversation I think that has taken on a whole life of its own for kids nowadays. And what does that mean for how they're going to communicate, how they regulate themselves? And I think there are a whole host of things that we're just starting to see the impact of what that will look like long term.
- [38:12]
John R. Miles
There are a number of things that you brought up that through my own research is very evident. One of the biggest things is that the person kids look up to the most is their parent. But if the parent themselves feels like we've been discussing that they're tuned out, that they're emotionally unregulated to that they don't. That they're coming home like I was coming home, emotionally exhausted. It's so difficult for you then to make the child feel like they matter and that they hold significance. And when they start feeling that time and time again, and it can start out as simple as their second or third grade and they come to you running up with the picture that they were so proud of drawing at school and your mind is a million miles away. There's only so many times they're going to do that before they realize that you're not responding to it. And so they just shut that down and then it just starts happening in other areas. How do parents do a better job of self realizing this is happening? Because I. We've talked today a lot about awareness, but I don't think we've talked a lot about awareness of how we're passing things down to kids. And I think it's an extremely important thing that people need to be thinking about.
- [39:38]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Absolutely. And I think that example that you just brought up of their, let's say they're excited about the picture that they drew and they want to share it with you and want to be seen and that'll that happens over and over again and eventually that part of them shuts down. They know they're not going to get that the feelings that they're looking for or the just the validation that they are seeking from that parent in that way. And we have talked a lot about self awareness as it relates to your life, your career, your purpose, your patterns. But I think all that channels over directly to if you have children, how do I want my children to feel and what is my role in that process? What is my influence every single day, whether it's microscopic or significant. And in reality, you could say the significant experiences come from the micro actions and what feelings or am I even aware of the feelings that I am creating with and for that child? Am I aware of the energy. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor has a quote I believe she's a professor at Harvard and she says be aware of the energy that you bring into the space. And I love that quote because I think it holds true whether you're talking about a corporate environment or your home or for your children or your husband, your wife. What energy are you carrying with you? How are you showing up and how is that making other people feel? I think there's so much power in that. When we think about how can we show up for children in a way that they feel heard and seen and loved and understood and what does that really mean for them long term and the flip side of that, what does it mean vice versa if they don't? And I think being a parent is such a huge responsibility in a million different ways because let's say you're you work full time at a job, you're coming home and showing up at a whole other job where it's just as important how you lead, how you speak speak, what energy you're bringing into that home environment and how you're showing up for that child. Those children, because they are going to mirror what they see, how they feel and or shut down parts of themselves and I think that's the longer term conversation is what do they start to just shut down and close off that eventually as they're 15, 25, 35, it starts to manifest itself and show up as a pattern or a sticking point or something that they've developed a piece manufacturing behavior over to try to feel better, to get that validation, that love ultimately that maybe was missing that they were hoping for from those pictures that they were drawing. And so while at the end of the day you might not have one ounce of energy left in you to acknowledge the picture or ask how the day was or any of that can be monumental to that child. And so being aware of the energy that you're bringing into the space everywhere you go.
- [43:05]
John R. Miles
I love that you brought up A quote from Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. And if a listener wants to hear more about her story, it's a pretty amazing one. She's a trained neuroscientist and had a stroke. If you're not familiar with her story that caused her to have paralysis and she actually retrained her herself to normaly Very great interview if you want to go back. It's episode 336 for those of you who are listening. Jody I wanted to bring up a topic that's near and dear to my heart. My last Duty station when I was in the service was in Key West, Florida. And it's a magical place. And you write about this in the book. You say Key west has become a second home to you. You visited it a ton of tons of time. And one of the best things about Key west, even when I was there, was the Songwriters Festival, which I think happens in end of April, typically early May. Yeah, it just happened this year. What are some of the lessons that you've learned from that festival and from Key west in general that made you bring it into the book in such a profound way?
- [44:21]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Oh, I love this. And I didn't know that about you, John, that you were stationed in Key West. So, yes, I'm sure you can absolutely relate. I have been traveling to Key west multiple times a year since I was, gosh, probably for the last 23, 24 years. And when I say it's a magical place for me, I have always stepped off the airplane onto the tarmac, and you just take a big inhale and exhale and it just feels like everything slows down. People are. Everybody there is. Well, I'm making a very bold generalization, but it feels like there is just this sense of authenticity, of this is who I am. I'm good with it. You be who you are and we're all going to get along. And so because there's this sense of authenticity and everyone's welcome there doesn't feel this need to prove or to be something that you're not or all those things that we've been talking about. There's almost like just this lightness of I'm okay to be me. And if that means I'm in shorts and flip flops and a T shirt everywhere I go, that's okay. So the authenticity is part of the magic there. Just the slowing down and allowing life to just be. Not having to push so hard, I think is also one of the just experiences and pieces of the magic about Key West. One of the things that I write about in the book related to the Songwriters Festival is, and I feel this way about musicians in general, but being up in up close and personal, when you're at a any sort of festival or where you get to watch musicians just really be in their craft is there is a very palpable exchange of energy where you're watching. For me, when I write about Key west and the Songwriters Festival, you're watching a musician just completely immerse themselves into their songwriting, into their passion, into their work. And really what I think they've connected to is their purpose in the world. And watching that come alive, I think we can all relate where we've seen a musician or an artist just be completely wrapped up in their offering to the world. That is so inspiring. And I think it also is. It has been for me, just a checkpoint moment to say, do I feel that way about my life? Do I feel that way about my work, my family? Can I. That energy exchange is so powerful that for me, it has just provided a lot of those reflective moments of do I feel like I have to escape from my life and go somewhere else? Or do I feel as relaxed and at peace and in my craft outside of Key west as I do when I'm here in all of this magic? And I think that's a really good place to wrap up. That part of this conversation is, for me, Key west has always provided that checkpoint and that benchmark of I want to feel just as good when I arrive here as I do when I land and go back home. And if I don't, that's part of my work to figure out how do I infuse that magic, that peace, that connection, that purpose that I feel when I'm in Key West. Now, you can't always transplant palm trees in that sunshine and that perfect weather that Key west has, although I wish I could. But that's. I love that you shared that part of the book, because Key west is definitely a special place for me. And I think that's part of what it's done for me is, like I said, just allowed me to check myself along the way.
- [48:18]
John R. Miles
So I wanted to end with, how can someone listening today begin their own journey of inner alchemy today?
- [48:26]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
I would reiterate what I've shared earlier in that if the voice within you is getting louder to say that you want or need to change something in your life, it could be anything. But if that voice is getting louder and you'll know if it's there, it will make itself known in a lot of different ways. Listening to that voice, number one. So just allowing and holding space for that internal voice to say, I don't like the way this feels. I don't feel fulfilled here. I feel drained here. Or I want more listening to that voice. And then the next step from there is really connecting to when do those moments happen most? Because we have to. We do, whether we like it or not. We have to get really tactical to unpack and understand when is this happening? How is it making me feel? And then what do I want to be different? That is the tactical place where I really think the alchemy, the magic happens. It's one one thing to say I don't want this to be this way anymore. And we can't just wish it to be different or hope that it's going to be different or expect that it's going to be different. The magic comes from identifying I need to listen here. This needs to change. Taking that action, digging in and then those micro actions forward of I don't want to feel this. I want to feel more of these positive things that make me feel better. And then what are the actions I need to take to do that and accepting that it's going to be in the weeds, in the micro actions where that alchemy is going to take place and really do its work. And then that just happens over time. And I know I'm oversimplifying it a lot, but that's the starting point.
- [50:15]
John R. Miles
And Jody, where can someone go if they want to learn more about you and your work?
- [50:19]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Dr. Jody blinko.com we are in a website revamp right now, so just hang on one more week and you'll be able to to find out all the details about what I do and order the book on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. You can also follow me on Instagram rjodyblinko. Lots of good stuff there. And please reach out anytime with thoughts, questions, feedback. I always love to connect with the listeners.
- [50:46]
John R. Miles
Jodi, thank you so much for joining us on Passion Struck. It was such a joy to have you on.
- [50:51]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Thank you John. I really appreciate you having me and being able to share some of my story in hopes that it may help others.
- [50:57]
John R. Miles
That's a wrap on Today's episode with Dr. Jody Blinko. And what a timely conversation as we begin week four of our Rediscovering Wellness series and step into the truth of flow. Here are three key takeaways I hope stay with you. First, resilience isn't something you're born with, it's something you build through your choices. Second, the stories you tell yourself can imprison you or liberate you. And third, flow comes not from doing more, but from aligning with who you really are. For me, this episode underscores a truth I keep coming back to. Wellness equals wholeness. If we stop at body, mind or even purpose, we're missing the deepest part, our spirit. And when we allow ourselves to flow, we stop resisting and start transforming. If today's conversation spoke to you, please take 10 seconds to leave a five star review on Apple or Spotify it's the best way to help more people discover this movement. And if you know someone navigating chaos or looking for clarity, send them this episode. It may be the invitation they need. And don't forget, our new store, start mattering.com is officially open. When you wear Start Mattering, you're not just putting on a shirt or hoodie. You're joining the mattering revolution. You're choosing to embody belonging, courage and impact every day. Coming up next on Passion Struck, I'm sitting down with Jay Vidiarthi, a pioneering mindfulness and technology designer, to explore how attention A pioneering mindfulness and technology designer to explore how attention is the most precious resource we have and how to reclaim it in a world designed to hijack it. You won't want to miss this powerful conversation about focused presence and the future of human well being. For show notes, resources and Jody's book, Inner Alchemy, head over to passionstruck.com and if you'd like me to bring this message to your team or organization, visit johnrmiles.com speaking and to get the companion guide that goes with this episode, go to our substack@theignitedlife.net unfortunately for all time, human beings seem to have complicated emotional and social relationships with anything that changes.
- [53:02]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Our state of mind.
- [53:03]
John R. Miles
Whether it's a substance and whether that's like a psychedelic or a drug, or.
- [53:08]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Whether it's just caffeine or alcohol.
- [53:10]
John R. Miles
We build these social cultures around things that change our state of mind. And technology absolutely changes our state of mind. It changes how we feel, but also what we think about and what we think about ourselves. And so it's so you could describe it as psychoactive and therefore it is a very complicated relationship that we can form. Until next time, live boldly, Lead with purpose. And as always, live life. Passion struck.
- [53:37]
Dr. Jodi Blinko
Sam.