Passion Struck with John R. Miles

Episode 686: Dr. Zelana Montminy on the Science of Meaningful Happiness

Release Date: November 6, 2025
Guest: Dr. Zelana Montminy, behavioral scientist, psychologist, author of Finding Focus: Own Your Attention in an Age of Distraction

Episode Overview

In this insightful episode, host John R. Miles sits down with Dr. Zelana Montminy to explore the epidemic of distraction, our crisis of mattering, and the practical science behind creating meaningful happiness. Drawing from Dr. Montminy’s new book, the conversation delves into how our pursuit of wellness may be making us sicker, the three “focus thieves” draining our energy, and the micro-habits and mindsets that help us reclaim presence, attention, and fulfillment—both for ourselves and in our relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Performative Trap of Wellness

• Dr. Montminy shares a pivotal classroom story:
  • A student overwhelmed by “doing everything right”—from therapy to green juice—feeling paralyzed and lost [05:47].
  • Quote:
    Dr. Montminy (07:00):
    “Our pursuit of wellness and being well and the actual performative element of it has actually barricaded us from being truly well. We need to spend much less time trying to hit the to-do lists and the products being pitched and much more time about actually being alive in the moments that we’re living.”

2. Humanizing the Struggle: Science Meets Storytelling

• Dr. Montminy discusses living at the intersection of research and real life:
  • Doesn’t believe in “balance”; instead focuses on alignment and seasonality of intentions [09:00].
  • Quote:
    Dr. Montminy (09:50):
    “Am I doing what lights me up? Do I find purpose in anything? Am I attuned and intentional about those moments?”

3. Attention vs. Focus vs. Concentration

• Definitions and importance (clarifies often-misused terms) [14:45]:
  • Attention is broad, passive–the brain’s “spotlight.”
  • Focus is active attention with intention—a choice.
  • Concentration is the stamina (or “zoom function”): how much energy is applied.
• Quote:
  Dr. Montminy (15:35):
  “Focus is actually a choice, which is why so many people feel like they have no control anymore—they’ve given away focus.”

4. The Crisis of Mattering & Disconnection

• John Miles introduces the “crisis of mattering”—people feeling invisible and numb [11:43].
• Dr. Montminy reframes: attention and presence are prerequisites for belonging and mattering [12:21].
  • Quote:
    Dr. Montminy (12:40):
    “Mattering is actually relational... When our collective attention is hijacked by all the noise...we can’t even experience it. We don’t have the presence of mind to know we matter.”

5. Identifying the “Three Thieves” of Focus

• Drawing a parallel to the recent Louvre heist, Dr. Montminy lists the three most common “focus thieves" [23:00]:
  • Noise thieves: Overstimulation from notifications, news, chatter, comparisons.
  • Emotional thieves: Cultural avoidance of discomfort—using busyness to distract from pain or boredom.
  • The Myth of Multitasking: Belief multitasking is productive, when in fact it fragments presence and performance.
  • Quote:
    Dr. Montminy (26:52):
    “The brain actually doesn’t multitask—it just task-switches... Every time you toggle between things, it takes about 23 to 25 minutes to fully regain focus. That constant context shifting is flooding us.”

6. Replacing Multitasking with Meaningful Attention

• Multitasking is an “illusion of productivity”; single-tasking increases efficiency and creativity [28:25].
• Habit suggestions:
  • Use “microhabits”—boundaries around time/attention (e.g., not checking your phone upon waking) [17:42].
  • Morning rituals, even brief, prime the brain for purpose (brain as “wet cement” for first 30-40 min after waking).

7. Microhabits and Rituals for Focus

• Start with calibrating daily intention and focus, even if it’s just a few minutes [29:32].
• Schedule even “distraction time” intentionally, e.g., put a timer on social scrolling (“This is my scroll time. 10 minutes. Starts now.”).
• Implement sleep hygiene: Power down devices before bed, expose yourself to morning light, brain-dump worries before sleep [31:44].

8. Nourishing the Body & Attention

• Nutritional basics matter more than supplements; for focus and energy, food variety and foundational health most important [34:20].
• Special mention: Magnesium—most people don’t get enough, supports nervous system and sleep [36:04].

9. Nature as Attention Refill

• Even 5–10 minutes outdoors is restorative; “soft fascination” of nature rebalances nervous system and stress hormones [36:43].
• Even office workers can benefit from a plant or a window view.

10. Concentration and Memory Training

• Start small: 3–5 minutes of single-task, no background noise, build up as neural “muscle” strengthens [38:30].
• Memory: Train brain with puzzles, word searches, even memorizing phone numbers again. Novelty + repetition grows the brain [40:12].

11. Tiny Trusts and Self-Belief

• The concept of tiny trusts: Small, kept promises to yourself build inner trust and resilience [42:00].
  • Examples: Not touching your phone for 10 minutes, drinking water—consistency over perfection.

12. Attention as Currency in Relationships

• Connection is built not by proximity but shared, undivided attention [43:29].

  • Quote:
    Dr. Montminy:
    “Attention is the currency of connection these days... Disconnection doesn’t come from distance, but from divided attention.”

• Active listening microhabit: Stay through the discomfort and quiet; true intimacy is built in presence, not words.

13. The “Rocks, Pebbles, Sand” Calendar Audit

• Prioritize your “rocks” (family, health, true priorities) before filling time with “pebbles” (logistics) and “sand” (reactive distractions) [46:08].
• Color-coding calendar entries can help visually maintain alignment with values and intentions.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On performing wellness:
  “Our pursuit of wellness has actually barricaded us from being truly well.” — Dr. Montminy [07:00]

• On emotional vocabulary:
  “Our vocabulary and the narrative that we tell ourselves matters.” — Dr. Montminy [14:47]

• On multitasking:
  “Every time you toggle...it takes about 23 to 25 minutes to fully regain focus. That’s not seconds, that’s minutes.” — Dr. Montminy [26:52]

• On tiny trust:
  “These tiny trusts teach our nervous system that we’re capable of things and that we’re dependable... It’s about consistency, not perfection.” — Dr. Montminy [42:00]

• On connection:
  “Attention is a really rare form of love.” — Dr. Montminy [43:29]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 05:47 – Pivotal student story; the dark side of the wellness quest
• 07:00 – Defining the “performative” wellness trap
• 09:50 – Dr. Montminy’s definition of alignment over balance
• 12:21/12:40 – Attention as prerequisite to mattering
• 14:45 – Difference between attention, focus, and concentration
• 17:42 – Microhabits and the pinball life metaphor
• 23:00 – The Three Focus Thieves (noise, emotional, multitasking)
• 26:52 – Science against multitasking; “23 to 25 minutes to regain focus”
• 29:32 – Daily rituals for focus and attention
• 31:44 – Sleep hygiene and its foundational importance
• 34:20 – Nutrition for attention and energy
• 36:43 – Nature and “soft fascination”
• 38:30 – Training focus and attention endurance
• 40:12 – Memory training habits
• 42:00 – The power and practice of “tiny trust”
• 43:29 – Attention as the currency of relationships
• 46:08 – Live “rocks, pebbles, sand” prioritization exercise
• 48:17 – Dr. Montminy’s definition of a Passion Struck life: “Attunement and where we place our attention”

Conclusion & Key Takeaways

• Attention is your most powerful currency—spend it with intention.
• Healing isn’t about perfect self-management but building tiny trusts and self-alignment.
• True connection—whether at work, with family, or with yourself—relies on showing up, undistracted, for what matters.

Find Dr. Zelana Montminy

• Instagram: @doctor.zelana
• Website: drzelana.com

Next Episode Preview

Stay tuned for the next installment in the "Irreplaceables" series, featuring Elias Friedman (The Dogist) on empathy, attention, and storytelling.

“Focus isn’t about control, it’s about connection. Live a life aligned with what truly matters.”
– John Miles [48:59]