The Art of Listening: How to Make People Feel Like They Matter | EP 546

Summary

Passion Struck with John R. Miles: Episode 546 – The Art of Listening: How to Make People Feel Like They Matter

In Episode 546 of Passion Struck with John R. Miles, host John R. Miles delves deep into the transformative power of listening. Titled "The Art of Listening: How to Make People Feel Like They Matter", this episode explores how genuine listening fosters meaningful connections, combats loneliness, and enhances personal growth. Through compelling stories, scientific insights, and practical advice, Miles emphasizes that listening is not merely a passive activity but a potent tool for personal and relational transformation.

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1. Introduction to the Art of Listening

The episode opens with Miles posing a fundamental question to listeners: "When was the last time you truly practiced the art of listening?" [07:20]. He challenges the conventional notion of listening, distinguishing it from mere nodding or passive hearing. Instead, he advocates for a type of listening that makes others feel genuinely seen, understood, and valued.

Notable Quote:

"Listening, real listening, is more than hearing words. It's a skill, an act of courage, and a way to connect that has the power to transform relationships."
— John R. Miles [04:19]

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2. Mattering: Making Others Feel Valued

Miles underscores that authentic listening is pivotal in making individuals feel that they matter. He shares a poignant story from a networking event where he listened to an elderly man's childhood experiences, allowing the man to unburden himself without interruption.

Notable Quote:

"When you do, you're giving that person one of the greatest gifts imaginable—the sense that they're seen. That they matter."
— John R. Miles [09:37]

Scientific Insight: The conversation highlights that listening triggers the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the "bonding hormone," which fosters a sense of connection and safety. This biochemical response reinforces the feeling of being valued and understood.

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3. Belonging: Building Meaningful Connections

Listening goes beyond making someone feel valued—it cultivates a profound sense of belonging. Miles recounts his interaction with Harry Buddha Magar, a former Gurkha soldier and the first double above-knee amputee to summit Mount Everest. Through deep listening, Harry was able to reclaim his sense of identity and belonging after severe injuries.

Notable Quote:

"Listening deeply to someone is like holding up a mirror to their humanity and to our own."
— John R. Miles [10:44]

Scientific Insight: The discussion introduces mirror neurons, which activate when we empathize with others' experiences, reinforcing our innate connection to one another. This neurological mechanism underpins the feeling of shared experiences and collective humanity.

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4. Intentionality: Purposeful Listening

Intentional listening is presented as a deliberate and conscious choice to engage fully with another person's narrative. Miles illustrates this concept through the story of Bo, a former NFL player turned playwright. Bo's mentor didn't just listen; they actively engaged by role-playing pivotal moments from Bo's life, enabling deeper emotional breakthroughs and enhancing the authenticity of his performance.

Notable Quote:

"When we engage purposefully, we don't just hear the words. We allow the story to transform us."
— John R. Miles [14:17]

Practical Advice: Miles encourages listeners to ask more meaningful questions, such as "What's been on your mind lately?" or "What's a challenge you've been facing?" to foster deeper conversations and connections.

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5. Rewards of Deep Listening

Deep listening yields significant rewards, both for the storyteller and the listener. Through stories like Sarah's experience at a Dinner Party and James's participation in a men's group, Miles illustrates how sharing and listening can alleviate feelings of isolation and foster a sense of community.

Notable Quote:

"Listening is the bridge that pulls us out of our silos. It reminds us that we're part of a shared story, a collective experience."
— John R. Miles [21:31]

Scientific Insight: Research by Julianne Holt-Lunstad highlights that loneliness poses serious health risks comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. However, meaningful social connections, nurtured through deep listening, can mitigate these adverse effects by releasing oxytocin and reducing stress.

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6. Conclusion and Takeaways

As the episode concludes, Miles synthesizes the core themes of mattering, belonging, and intentionality, urging listeners to apply the art of listening in their daily lives. He presents a heartfelt challenge: "Take a moment to think about the relationships in your life. Who needs you to listen more deeply? What's one intentional action you can take today to practice the art of listening?" [24:03]

Call to Action: Miles offers a Deep Listening Blueprint, a free resource packed with tips and techniques to help listeners cultivate stronger connections and create moments of true presence. He encourages sharing stories and tagging him on social media to inspire a community of intentional listeners.

Notable Quote:

"Listening isn't just a skill, it's a gift. It reminds us that we matter, that we belong, and that we're capable of creating profound connections through presence and empathy."
— John R. Miles [24:11]

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Final Thoughts

Episode 546 of Passion Struck serves as a profound reminder of the understated power of listening. Through engaging narratives and scientific backing, John R. Miles eloquently illustrates that listening is not just about hearing words but about fostering connections that affirm our worth, build our communities, and enhance our personal growth. By embracing the art of listening, listeners are encouraged to transform their interactions and, consequently, their lives.

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Connect with Passion Struck:

• Follow John R. Miles on Instagram: @John_R_Miles
• Subscribe and Share: Available on Spotify and passionstruck.com
• Pre-order Book: Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life

Transcript

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[John R. Miles]

Coming up next on Passion Struck.

[Co-host or Guest]

Here's a question for you. When was the last time you actually.

[John R. Miles]

Shut up and listened?

[Co-host or Guest]

Not the kind of listening were you.

[John R. Miles]

Not along while secretly thinking about what you're going to say next, but the real uncomfortable oh wow, this is vulnerable kind of listening.

[Co-host or Guest]

In today's episode, we're breaking down why.

[John R. Miles]

Listening is harder than it looks and why it's almost the most underrated superpower for building connection, killing loneliness, and maybe.

[Co-host or Guest]

Even figuring out your own messy life in the process.

[John R. Miles]

If you're tired of small talk and ready to get real, stick around.

Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host John R. Miles, and on the show we decipher the.

Secrets, tips and guidance of the world's.

Most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries and athletes. Now let's go out there and become Passion Struck.

Hey Passion Struck family. Welcome back to Momentum Friday and episode 546. I'm your host, John Miles, and I'm so excited to spend this time with you today.

[Co-host or Guest]

This space is all about exploring how.

[John R. Miles]

We can live lives of intention, purpose and meaning. And let me tell you, this episode is one you don't want to miss. If you're new here, welcome.

[Co-host or Guest]

I am so thrilled you've joined us.

[John R. Miles]

You've just stepped into a community dedicated to helping you take bold, actionable steps toward the life you've always envisioned.

[Co-host or Guest]

Whether you're a longtime listener or a.

[John R. Miles]

First timer, this is a place where we turn passion into action. Before we dive into today's topic, let me tell you about this week's incredible episodes. On Tuesday, I sat down with Jessica Zweig, the founder of Simply Be and.

[Co-host or Guest]

The author of the Light Work.

[John R. Miles]

We talked about the transformative power of authenticity and how to tap into your inner light to navigate life's challenges and opportunities. Then on Thursday, I had such a fascinating conversation with George Appling about aligning your actions with your values and finding clarity in your personal mission. It was an eye opening discussion about discovering what truly drives you and using that knowledge to create a life of purpose. If you missed those episodes, I highly recommend going back and checking them out. They're filled with insights and actionable takeaways that can complement what we're talking about today. For those of you who are just diving in, don't miss our Episode Starter packs. With over 540 episodes, we've curated playlists on essential themes like leadership, mental health, and personal growth to help you jump right into the content that resonates most with you. You can find them at passionstruck.com starter packs or on Spotify. If you want to take what we discuss even deeper, I invite you to sign up for my Live intentionally [e-mail] each week I share insights, challenges and strategies to keep you inspired and intentional in your journey.

[Co-host or Guest]

And for those of you who enjoy a visual experience, make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel for episodes, insights and highlights that will keep your growth.

[John R. Miles]

Journey dynamic and engaging. Now let's dive into today's episode. When was the last time you truly practiced the art of listening? And I mean really listening.

[Co-host or Guest]

Not the kind where you nod along.

[John R. Miles]

While thinking about what you'll say next, but the kind of listening that makes someone feel seen, understood and valued. Listening, real listening, is more than hearing words. It's a skill, an act of courage, and a way to connect that has the power to transform relationships. At its heart, listening is about creating space for someone else's story, whether it's their joy, their struggles, or their dreams. If you think about it, all of us have felt unseen or unheard at some point. Maybe you've spoken up and felt like no one really cared.

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Or maybe you've held something inside, convinced.

[John R. Miles]

No one would listen even if you did. Share those moments can leave us feeling isolated, like we're on an island by ourselves. But when someone truly listens, everything changes. Their attention becomes a bridge, one that connects us, reminds us that we matter, and fosters belonging. And when we listen really deeply, it's not just the storyteller who grows it's also us, the listeners. Storytelling, and by extension, listening is one.

[Co-host or Guest]

Of the most powerful tools we have as humans.

[John R. Miles]

It's how we make sense of the world, how we process our fears and dreams, and how we connect, cross divides.

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Today, we are diving into how listening.

[John R. Miles]

Fosters mattering, belonging, and intentionality, three concepts that can transform not just the way we engage with others, but the way we live our lives. We'll explore the science, share some deeply moving stories, and leave you with practical insights on how to become a better listener. As you listen, I want you to reflect on this. What would happen if you fully embraced the art of listening? How could it deepen your relationships, dissolve.

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Feelings of isolation, and even heal the.

[John R. Miles]

Parts of yourself you've been holding back? The answer, I think, lies in the courage to hear and be heard. And that's exactly what we'll explore today. Thank you for choosing passionstruck and choosing.

[Co-host or Guest]

Me to be your host and guide.

[John R. Miles]

On your journey to creating an intentional life. Now let that journey begin. Take a deep breath in and slowly let it out.

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[Co-host or Guest]

Since adding Magnesium Breakthrough to my routine.

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[John R. Miles]

So here's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Earlier this week, I was chatting with Dr. Alison Wood Brooks, the Harvard Business School expert on the art and science of conversation. This is for an interview that will come out on January 21st and she said something that really stuck with me. Every conversation is a chance to help someone feel seen or unseen. Think about that.

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Seen or unseen.

[John R. Miles]

It's such a simple idea, but it's loaded with power. Now let me ask you something.

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When was the last time you walked.

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Away from a conversation and thought, wow, that person really saw me for who I am? It's rare, right? Most of the time we're stuck in this pattern of surface level exchanges. Small talk, polite nods, maybe the occasional how are you? That doesn't go much deeper than I'm fine, thanks. But when someone really listens to you, when they lean in, make eye contact and just get what you're saying, it's like oxygen. It reminds you that your voice, your story, your experience matters. I'll give you a quick story that brings us to life.

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A few months ago, I was at this event. Kind of one of those gatherings where.

[John R. Miles]

Everyone'S supposed to network, but no one really wants to anyway. I ended up sitting next to this older man, probably in his 70s. At first he seemed a little reserved. But then he started talking about his childhood.

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How he grew up in this tiny, close knit town that eventually disappeared because.

[John R. Miles]

Of a dam project.

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You could tell that he hadn't told.

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This story in years.

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And all I did was listen.

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I didn't interrupt or ask him to.

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Get to the point.

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I just let him unravel it piece by piece. By the end of it, he looked.

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At me and said, thank you for.

[John R. Miles]

Letting me share that.

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I didn't even realize how much I.

[John R. Miles]

Needed to talk about it.

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What struck me wasn't just that he.

[John R. Miles]

Felt lighter after sharing his story, but.

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How it changed me. Listening to him reminded me of how.

[John R. Miles]

We carry these pieces of ourselves that we think no one wants to hear.

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But when we share them and someone.

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Listens, we reclaim our sense of worth.

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Here's where the science ties in. Studies show that when someone listens to.

[John R. Miles]

Us, our brain releases oxytocin, the hormone.

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That makes us feel connected and safe. It's literally like our brain's way of.

[John R. Miles]

Saying, hey, you matter. So here's my challenge to you this week.

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The next time you're talking with someone.

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Whether it's your best friend, your barista, or even your boss, just pause for a moment and really listen.

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Not the kind of listening where you're.

[John R. Miles]

Waiting for your turn to talk, but the kind where you're fully present. Because when you do, you're giving that person one of the greatest gifts imaginable.

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The sense that they're seen. That they matter.

[John R. Miles]

And honestly, you'll probably walk away feeling like you matter a little more, too. All right, we're just getting started on this journey into the art of listening.

[Co-host or Guest]

Coming up, we're diving into belonging. How listening creates those powerful connections that.

[John R. Miles]

Remind us we're all in this together.

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So in that last section, I talked about how listening makes someone feel seen.

[John R. Miles]

But it goes even deeper than that. Listening doesn't just validate someone's story.

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It connects us.

[John R. Miles]

It creates belonging.

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But what does it really mean to belong?

[John R. Miles]

I've been really thinking about this, and it brought me back to something from Louise Hay's mirror work. If you're not familiar, mirror work is the practice where you stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye, and speak affirmations or truths. It's about seeing yourself, really seeing yourself with all your fears, flaws, and strengths. But mirror work isn't just something we do alone. It happens in our relationships, too.

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Every time we deeply listen to someone's.

[John R. Miles]

Story, we're holding up a mirror to their humanity and to our own.

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That idea really hit home for me.

[John R. Miles]

During a recent conversation that I had with Harry Buddha Magar. If you don't know his story, Harry is a former Gurkha soldier who lost both his legs in Afghanistan. But that's only part of it.

[Co-host or Guest]

He went on to become the first.

[John R. Miles]

Double above knee amputee to summit Mount Everest. An incredible achievement.

[Co-host or Guest]

But what's even more powerful is what he's learned along the way. Harry showed me how, after his injury, he felt completely untethered. He'd lost not only just his legs, but also his sense of identity.

[John R. Miles]

He described it as looking into a cracked mirror.

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His reflection shattered his sense of belonging. Nowhere to be found.

[John R. Miles]

But then something shifted. Harry started sharing his story with others.

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And people listened.

[John R. Miles]

And not just superficially, they really listened.

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They heard his fears, his doubts, and his dreams. And in those moments, Harry said, he.

[John R. Miles]

Started to see himself differently. It wasn't just that others saw his strength. It was that their reflections of him.

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Helped him see his own strengths too. Here's where it ties back to mirror work.

[John R. Miles]

When we listen deeply to someone, we're like that mirror. We reflect back not just what they're saying, but who they are. And in doing so, we also start to see parts of ourselves. Our resilience, our shared fears, our capacity for hope. The science backs this up.

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When we hear someone else's story and.

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Empathize our mirror neurons, the part of our brain that helps us feel what others feel, light up.

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It's literally a biological reminder that we're connected. So what does this have to do.

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With belonging, you might ask. When we step into someone's story, when we truly listen, we see their struggles.

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And dreams are echoes of our own. Harry's journey of rebuilding after loss might.

[John R. Miles]

Not be the same as ours, but the themes are universal. And then those themes, we find connection. Here's something to reflect on.

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When was the last time you truly.

[John R. Miles]

Listened to someone's story and saw yourself in it?

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What did it teach you about them and about yourself? Listening isn't just about being polite.

[John R. Miles]

It's about creating a space where both.

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You and the other person can belong.

[John R. Miles]

And that's a gift worth giving every single day. Next, we're diving into intentionality.

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How to make listening a deliberate act.

[John R. Miles]

That can transform not just conversations, but entire relationships. So I've now talked about how listening makes someone feel seen and how it creates belonging by reflecting shared humanity. But let's go one step further. Let's talk about intentionality. Because listening isn't just a passive act, it's a choice. It's purposeful presence.

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And when we bring intention to listening.

[John R. Miles]

It transforms both the storyteller and the listener. I want to share a story about Bon. A recent Guest in episode 529, Bo is a former NFL player turned playwright and speaker. Bo tells this incredible story about how.

[Co-host or Guest]

He was preparing for his one man show.

[John R. Miles]

It's an intensely personal performance based on his life and struggles. And during rehearsals, he brought in a trusted mentor to help him refine it.

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Here's the thing about this mentor.

[John R. Miles]

They didn't just watch and critique.

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They stepped into the story with Bo.

[John R. Miles]

At one point, they role played a pivotal moment from Beau's childhood, something he hadn't fully processed yet.

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They didn't just listen to him recount.

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It, they acted it out with him, asking questions like, what did that feel like? What were you afraid of?

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What were you hoping for?

[John R. Miles]

Through that intentional engagement, Beau uncovered layers of truth in his story that he hadn't realized were there. And because of that, his performance became more authentic, more human. But it wasn't just Beau who grew from that experience.

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His mentor later admitted that by stepping.

[John R. Miles]

Into Beau's story so deeply, they learn.

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Something about their own childhood struggles too. That's the power of listening with intention.

[John R. Miles]

When we engage purposefully, we don't just hear the words.

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We allow the story to transform us. Science has something to say about this too.

[John R. Miles]

Jamil Zaki, a psychologist who I had on the show and who studies empathy, talks about how empathy isn't just a trait, it's a skill. And like any skill, it grows with practice. When we listen intentionally, when we engage with curiosity and courage, we're exercising our empathy muscles. And that growth doesn't just help the.

[Co-host or Guest]

Person we're listening to.

[John R. Miles]

It helps us become more compassionate, more self aware, and ultimately more human. So how can we bring this level.

[Co-host or Guest]

Of intentionality into our lives?

[John R. Miles]

It starts with asking better questions.

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Instead of sticking to how are you? Or what's new?

[John R. Miles]

Try asking what's been on your mind lately? Or what's a challenge you've been facing?

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Then go a step further.

[John R. Miles]

Be present.

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Imagine yourself in their shoes.

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Roleplay it if it feels right.

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Intentional listening takes effort and courage, but the rewards are extraordinary. It's how we move beyond small talk and into real connection.

[John R. Miles]

It's how we show someone that their.

[Co-host or Guest]

Story has meaning not just to them.

[John R. Miles]

But for us too.

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Here's something to think about as I.

[John R. Miles]

Wrap up this section. What would it look like if you brought this kind of intention to your next conversation?

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What might you learn, not just about.

[John R. Miles]

The other person, but about yourself?

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Next, I'll dive into the reward of deep listening.

[John R. Miles]

What it means to witness someone's courage.

[Co-host or Guest]

And how it can bring healing to us both. So we've talked about intentional listening, how.

[John R. Miles]

Stepping into someone's story with purpose can transform both the storyteller and the listener. But there's a reward for this kind.

[Co-host or Guest]

Of deep listening, and it's more powerful.

[John R. Miles]

Than you might think. We're not just hearing someone's words when we truly listen to someone's story, witnessing their courage. And there's something incredibly humbling about that.

[Co-host or Guest]

To sit with someone as they share.

[John R. Miles]

A piece of their life, especially the vulnerable, messy parts, takes us out of our own heads and reminds us of something universal. We're all carrying something, and we're all braver than we realize.

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Let me share a story that illustrates this.

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There's this incredible program called the Dinner Party. It's a support group for people who've experienced significant loss.

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And the premise is simple. They come together to share a meal and their stories.

[John R. Miles]

One participant, I'll call her Sarah, lost her husband unexpectedly. She joined a Dinner Party gathering because she felt like no one in her.

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Life truly understood her grief. During the meal, she listened as others shared their stories.

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Stories of losing parents, siblings, partners.

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Some were raw and recent.

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Others were wounds that had been scarred.

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Over but still ached.

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When it was Sarah's turn to speak, she hesitated.

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She admitted that part of her felt.

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Like her grief wasn't as valid as the others. But as she spoke, she realized something profound. Her pain. Her experience wasn't isolated. It was part of a thread running.

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Through the entire room. And that's the reward of deep listening. As Sarah listened to the courage of.

[John R. Miles]

Others, to their honesty about their fears and their determination to keep going, it gave her strength. And when she spoke, when others listened to her, she felt less alone.

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Here's what's fascinating.

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Science shows us that storytelling, especially in groups, can lower stress and increase feelings of connection.

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Researchers like the late Emile Bruno have found that sharing and listening to personal.

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Stories reduces polarization and creates empathy, even across divides.

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But beyond the science, there's something deeply.

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Human about hearing someone say, here's my truth in thinking.

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That sounds a lot like mine.

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Deep listening gives us two gifts.

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First, it reminds us that courage isn't about having no fear. It's about moving forward.

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Despite it, hearing someone else's bravery lights a fire in us to face our own challenges.

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Second, it reminds us that we're not alone.

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Listening to someone else's story, even if it's completely different from ours, shows us.

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The common threads we all share.

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Love, loss, hope, survival.

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And in that realization, we find healing. Here's my question for you. When was the last time you witnessed.

[John R. Miles]

Someone'S courage through their story?

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How did it inspire you? And if you haven't done this recently.

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Who in your life might be waiting for someone to really listen? Deep listening is more than an act of empathy. It's a bridge. A way to connect, to heal, and to grow.

[Co-host or Guest]

Next, we'll talk about how this bridge works in a broader sense. How listening can break through isolation and.

[John R. Miles]

Remind us that we're all part of something bigger. So we've now talked about how listening.

[Co-host or Guest]

Honors courage and fosters connection.

[John R. Miles]

But let's take it one step further.

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Listening doesn't just help us connect.

[John R. Miles]

It can pull us out of the isolation that so many of us feel in our lives. In a way, listening is like water. It's life giving, and it has the.

[Co-host or Guest]

Power to break the fever of loneliness. Here's the thing. Isolation isn't always about physically being alone.

[John R. Miles]

You can be surrounded by people and still feel like no one truly sees or understands you.

[Co-host or Guest]

I think we've all been there at.

[John R. Miles]

Some point, feeling disconnected, even when we're.

[Co-host or Guest]

In the middle of a crowd. And here's where my conversation in episode.

[John R. Miles]

282 with Julianne Holt Lunstad comes in. If you don't know her work, Julianne has done groundbreaking Research on loneliness and social connection. She's found that loneliness isn't just an emotional experience. It's a public health crisis. Chronic loneliness, she told me, is as.

[Co-host or Guest]

Harmful to our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

[John R. Miles]

It increases our risk of heart disease, depression, and even premature death. But, and this is where it gets hopeful. Julianne emphasized that meaningful social connections can literally reverse these effects. And one of the most powerful ways to build those connections, deep listening.

[Co-host or Guest]

When someone listens to you, really listens.

[John R. Miles]

It'S like a dam breaking.

[Co-host or Guest]

The wall of loneliness starts to crumble.

[John R. Miles]

And for the first time in a long time, you feel connected. I want to share a story that brings this to life. It's about a man named James. He'd been struggling with depression for years and kept it to himself because he didn't want to burden anyone. He thought, who wants to hear about my problems?

[Co-host or Guest]

One day, a friend invited him to.

[John R. Miles]

A men's group, a space where people can come together to share their struggles.

[Co-host or Guest]

James was hesitant.

[John R. Miles]

He didn't think anyone would understand, let alone care. But when he got there, something unexpected happened. As the other men shared their stories.

[Co-host or Guest]

James realized he wasn't as alone as he thought. One man talked about losing his job.

[John R. Miles]

And feeling like he'd failed his family.

[Co-host or Guest]

Another shared how his marriage was falling apart.

[John R. Miles]

Their stories weren't exactly the same as James, but the emotions behind them, the fear, the shame, the hopelessness, were all too familiar.

[Co-host or Guest]

When it was James turn to speak, he hesitated.

[John R. Miles]

But the group just sat there waiting.

[Co-host or Guest]

Holding the space for him. And when he finally started to talk, it was like a floodgate opened.

[John R. Miles]

He talked about the weight that he'd been carrying, the days he didn't want to get out of bed, and the.

[Co-host or Guest]

Fear that he'd never feel better. And here's the powerful part. After James spoke, one of the men.

[John R. Miles]

Looked at him and said, thank you.

[Co-host or Guest]

That took so much courage.

[John R. Miles]

And another man added, I felt exactly like that before.

[Co-host or Guest]

That moment didn't fix everything for James.

[John R. Miles]

But it broke through the isolation. For the first time in years, he.

[Co-host or Guest]

Felt seen, understood, and connected.

[John R. Miles]

Julianne's research gives us the science behind this.

[Co-host or Guest]

She explained that when we feel heard.

[John R. Miles]

And understood, our brain releases oxytocin, which.

[Co-host or Guest]

Strengthens our sense of connection and lowers stress.

[John R. Miles]

It's a biological reminder that we're wired for relationships and that loneliness doesn't have to be permanent. Listening is the bridge that pulls us.

[Co-host or Guest]

Out of our silos.

[John R. Miles]

It reminds us that we're not just.

[Co-host or Guest]

Individuals moving through the world alone.

[John R. Miles]

We're part Of a shared story, a collective experience. So here's something to think about.

[Co-host or Guest]

Who in your life might be carrying.

[John R. Miles]

A story they're afraid to share?

[Co-host or Guest]

And how could your willingness to listen be the thing that helps them break through their own isolation?

[John R. Miles]

Listening doesn't just change conversation, it changes lives. And when we create space for someone to be heard, we're not just helping them, we helping ourselves, too. As we wrap up this journey into the art of listening, I want to share a story that brings everything we've talked about, Mattering, belonging, and intentionality, into focus. It's about a mentor and a mentee.

[Co-host or Guest]

The mentee, let's call him Alex, has.

[John R. Miles]

Been struggling with unresolved grief after losing a close friend. He's carrying this invisible weight, and it was starting to impact every area of his life, his work, his relationships, even.

[Co-host or Guest]

How he saw himself.

[John R. Miles]

But he wasn't ready to talk about it.

[Co-host or Guest]

And honestly, he wasn't sure anyone would truly understand.

[John R. Miles]

Then came a pivotal conversation with his mentor. The mentor didn't rush him, didn't try to fix anything. They simply created space for Alex to speak, really speak.

[Co-host or Guest]

And when Alex finally started to share, the mentor listened with intention. They didn't interrupt or offer platitudes. Instead, they reflected back what Alex was.

[John R. Miles]

Saying, not just with their words, but with their presence. Through that conversation, Alex began to process his grief in a way he hadn't.

[Co-host or Guest]

Been able to before. He realized that his feelings of guilt.

[John R. Miles]

And sadness Weren't just his burden to carry. They were part of the shared human experience of loss. And in that realization, he found a.

[Co-host or Guest]

Sense of belonging he hadn't felt in a long time. Here's the beautiful part.

[John R. Miles]

The mentor later shared that the conversation changed them, too. By being fully present for Alex's story.

[Co-host or Guest]

They were reminded of their own losses.

[John R. Miles]

And how they had navigated through them. That moment of shared vulnerability created a bridge between them, a connection built on.

[Co-host or Guest]

Mutual courage and understanding.

[John R. Miles]

This story highlights what we've explored throughout this entire mattering.

[Co-host or Guest]

By listening deeply, the mentor validated Alex's.

[John R. Miles]

Experiences, Showing him that his story and his emotions were worth sharing.

[Co-host or Guest]

Belonging.

[John R. Miles]

Through their shared connection, Alex realized he wasn't alone in his grief, and the.

[Co-host or Guest]

Mentor found renewed insight into their own humanity. Intentionality. The mentor's deliberate presence allowed the conversation to unfold naturally and meaningfully, Creating a.

[John R. Miles]

Transformative experience for both of them.

[Co-host or Guest]

And the science supports this.

[John R. Miles]

When we engage in deep intentional listening, not just in the storytelling, but in.

[BiOptimizers Representative]

The listening as well, It's a mutually.

[John R. Miles]

Enriching process that fosters growth, resilience, and healing. So here's what I'd love for you to reflect on.

[Co-host or Guest]

What's one story you've been holding on.

[John R. Miles]

To, something unresolved or unspoken?

[Co-host or Guest]

And who in your life might be waiting for you to truly listen to theirs?

[John R. Miles]

Listening isn't just a skill, it's a gift. It reminds us that we matter, that we belong, and that we're capable of creating profound connections through presence and empathy. Here's my challenge to you. Take a moment to think about the relationships in your life.

[Co-host or Guest]

Who needs you to listen more deeply? What's one intentional action you can take.

[John R. Miles]

Today to practice the art of listening? Whether it's a heartfelt conversation, asking a thoughtful question, or just holding space for someone's story, do it.

[Co-host or Guest]

Write it down. Then take that step today. Not tomorrow. Not next week. And when you do, let me know. Tag me on social media onrmiles or.

[John R. Miles]

Share your story with the Passion Start Community. Your journey could inspire someone else to start their own. To help you put the listening into action, I've created a free resource called the Deep Listening Blueprint. It's packed with tips and techniques to.

[Co-host or Guest]

Help you build stronger connections, deepen your.

[John R. Miles]

Relationships, and create moments of true presence.

[Co-host or Guest]

You can sign up for my Live.

[John R. Miles]

Intentionally newsletter and when you do, I.

[Co-host or Guest]

Will send you a copy of this for you to download.

[John R. Miles]

If today's episode resonated with you, please take a moment to leave a five star rating in review. It's one of the best ways to help others discover the show, enjoying our.

[Co-host or Guest]

Mission to live more intentionally.

[John R. Miles]

And if you know someone who needs to hear today's message, share this episode with them.

[Co-host or Guest]

Together we can spread the gift of connection and purpose.

[John R. Miles]

I'm also passionate about bringing these lessons beyond the podcast. If you're looking to inspire your team or community through keynote speeches, workshops or events, I'd love to partner with you.

[Co-host or Guest]

Visit johnrmiles.com speaking to learn more.

[John R. Miles]

You can find links to everything we discussed in today's episode in the show [e-mail] don't forget to watch the video version on YouTube.

[Co-host or Guest]

And while you're there, subscribe so you never miss a moment of inspiration. And be sure to check out our.

[John R. Miles]

Sponsors and exclusive [e-mail] deals supporting those who support the show makes all the difference.

[Co-host or Guest]

Before we wrap up, I am thrilled.

[John R. Miles]

To share a sneak peek of of our next episode. I'll be joined by Madison Marsh, Miss America for an incredible conversation on leadership, resilience and using your platform for positive change. You don't want to miss it.

[Madison Marsh]

Think of the people that are Olympians and the work that it took to get into something like that, the people that become the superstars, people that make the breakthroughs in research. None of that came from someone doing something easy. You don't get greatness from taking the easy path. You get it from the challenge. You get it from the days that you fail and you fall down and you suck at things. And you take that and you take your weaknesses and turn it into strengths. And you learn from it. You learn from the people that are better than you. And I think that challenge and wanting to meet that challenge is what makes people into success. That's what gives them that greatness, because of that willingness to fail and try and get up and try again until you get it right.

[John R. Miles]

Thank you for spending your time with me today.

[Co-host or Guest]

Your commitment to living a life of purpose and connection inspires me every day. I hope this episode has added value.

[John R. Miles]

To your journey, encouraged you to listen more deeply.

[Co-host or Guest]

Remember, the fee for the show is simple.

[John R. Miles]

If you found value here, share it.

[Co-host or Guest]

With someone else who might benefit. Let's.

[Fidelity Representative]

Hey, Fidelity, how can I remember to invest every month?

With the Fidelity app, you can choose a schedule and set up recurring investments in stocks and ETFs.

Oh, that sounds easier than I thought.

You got this?

[John R. Miles]

Yeah, I do.

[Fidelity Representative]

Now. Where did I put my keys?

You will find them where you left them.

[John R. Miles]

Investing involves risk, including risk of loss. Fidelity Brokerage Services, LLC Member nyse, SIPC.