Lisa (2:22)

Supposed to have power.

Elaine (2:23)

No, it's. It's a moment by moment connection to God. The only way you're gonna have power in your life is not by just being a Christian. I know a lot of Christians who have no power in their lives. No, just being a Christian does not give you power. It's being connected on a moment by moment basis. Let me give you a principle of the universe. I found this works with toasters. It works with vacuum cleaners, it works with egg beaters. It works with coffee makers. Here's the universal principle. Things work better when they're plugged in and so do you. The only way you're going to get God's power is to be connected moment by moment. Not just say, oh, I'm a Christian, yeah, I've trusted Christ for salvation. It's to be moment by moment, daily connected, daily, plugged in to him, trusting Him. When you do that, when you get plugged in on a moment by moment basis, now you've got a basis for real hope. The truth is, a lot of the hopes you've had in your life were false hopes. You had hopes that things would change.

Lisa (3:32)

And they didn't because your hope was misplaced.

Elaine (3:35)

I want you to hear Elaine's story.

Lisa (3:37)

Welcome her.

Elaine (3:47)

My name is Elaine and Pastor Rick asked me to share this weekend because I am a mother and a grandmother and I have seen God change what I thought was impossible to change in the lives of my husband, my kids and myself. I discovered that God has the power to make changes that I tried to make for years but couldn't. I don't have time to get into all the ugly details, but I can tell you that for the first 28 years of my marriage, I carried around a lot of secret pain and grief. My family never knew about the inner anguish that I was going through due to my husband Howard's years of drinking, drug abuse, and moral unfaithfulness to me. It always seemed easier for me to just close my eyes to what he was doing and just look the other way and pretend I wasn't hurting. I now know that was a classic codependency sign. For 28 years, I kept hoping that things would change and get better. I was determined to keep our family intact no matter what happened and no matter what Howard did. But my hopes were sadly misplaced. I had no real basis for hope. First, I hoped that things would change when we had kids. Well, we had two sons, Jim and Troy, who are wonderful, but nothing changed after their births. Second, I naively hoped that every time we moved things would get better. I hoped that a change in location would produce a change in my husband and in our marriage. We moved several times over the years, but of course it didn't change anything. We were still the same people. Third, I put my hope in Howard's repeated promises to change every time I reached my limit and thought that I could not go on any longer living the way we were. Howard would promise to clean up his life and change his ways. Things would get better. For a short while but inevitably he would revert back to his old pattern and I would be hurt again and again. It was a vicious cycle, which I'm sure some of you can identify with. The most ridiculous hope I held onto for all those years was the false confidence that I could personally fix everything. Eventually I figured that I could control the situation and fix Howard on my own if I just kept at kept at it. I guess I was stubborn because after 28 years I still held on to this false hope. In 1994, Howard hit bottom and our two sons and I got him into rehab. For a brief moment I thought everything was going to be okay. But then Howard made an inappropriate comment to our youngest son's wife. Of course she was really offended and Howard tried to apologize. But the damage was done and it tore our family apart and caused great bitterness. That was the final straw. I just couldn't take anymore and was ready to give up on my marriage. We were living in the same house, but there was no love on my part. I didn't think I could forgive him. This time I finally realized that all my hopes had been false hopes. There was no way I was going to be able to change Howard and save my marriage on my own. The situation had become impossible. Then On Easter in 1995, our son Jim invited us to go to church with him and his wife Gail. We agreed to go and that was the first weekend at Saddleback Church. Coming up the hill, I saw all the many people and wondered what I was getting myself into. I didn't know what to expect. But after we saw everyone enjoying themselves in the service, even Howard wanted to come back. The next week. God began softening our hearts. Then in July, my son Jim asked us to go to the Harvest Crusade. That night, my husband, my son, my daughter in law, all committed their lives to Christ for the first time. And I recommitted my life too. Now I began to have real hope that things would change because Jesus Christ was included in the equation and we had God's power to help us. Our family was baptized here at Saddleback and we started attending Celebrate Recovery on Friday nights. I remember the first night. The very first question from step one was what areas of your life do you have control over? I sat there in a panic. I couldn't think of one thing I had control of. I thought there was something wrong with me. I didn't realize that this was the first step to getting healthy again. It was the first time I admitted to myself that I was powerless to change me or Howard. And the first Time I admitted to anyone that a grandparent had sexually molested me. Pastor Rick says God never wastes a hurt. And I've discovered that this is completely true. With all I've gone through as a wife and a mother, I can now help other women through similar circumstances. I led one of the codependent women's group here. I want everyone to know that I've seen a miracle in the change in my husband, Howard. He's just not the same man anymore. God's power did the impossible. And everyone who knows Howard knows this. Five years ago this month, Howard and I renewed our wedding vows here at the church. These years have been a wonderful gift from God. Sometime I am asked, how were you able to forgive 28 years of shame, grief and pain? Well, it's hard not to forgive when you know what Jesus sacrificed so I could be forgiven. Anyway, you can't live in the past. You have to look to the future and what God has in store for you. It's true you don't forget what's happened. But by following the steps to getting healthy again, I've learned to let go and let God. This year, Howard and I celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary. And because of Jesus, it's better than ever. If you've been living with false hope, thinking that you or your situation will change simply out of your own persistence or your own willpower, I urge you to not waste another second with that dead end. We can't change ourselves or others by forcing the change through willpower. That kind of change never lasts. Instead, I encourage you to open the door of your heart and allow God's life changing power to enter in. Step by step, moment by moment, his power can do the impossible. Thank you.

Elaine (9:59)

Now, Elaine said you can't live in the past. And it's true. You have to get on with the future. Now, in your car, you have a windshield and you have a rear view mirror. Which of those is bigger?

Lisa (10:16)

Lisa. Windshield. Thank you.

Elaine (10:21)

Lisa's been here in every service. I just want to Nice to see you again. Which of them do you spend more time looking at? Windshield, hopefully. Now, a rear view mirror is a good thing to have because it gives you perspective. It's nice to know where you've come from, but you don't keep focused on the past. In fact, imagine driving a car that had a bigger rear view mirror than a windshield. You'd crack up. Some of you are wondering why you're under so much stress. You are stuck in the rear view mirror position. You can't get on with the present because you're stuck in the past, habits, hurts and hang ups. And this process that we're looking at, these eight weeks are the steps to getting out of that mode. You gotta get on with your life. You've gotta let it go, you've gotta make some changes. You've gotta let God work in your heart and do some healing so you can look in the future, not be held on. Some of you, you think about the past every day of your life. You know, it comes up, even right now as I speak about it, that hurt, that thing that hurt you, it's just right under the surface all the time. And God wants to deal with that. In fact, let me tell you what spiritual growth is. Spiritual growth is the process of shrinking the rear view mirror and expanding the.

Lisa (11:53)

Windshield in your life so you can.

Elaine (11:57)

See what God wants to do with you. Now here's the fifth thing you need.

Lisa (12:01)

To remember when you feel hopeless.

Elaine (12:04)

Not only does God know me, he's with me. He cares about me. He knows my situation. He has power I don't have. But number five, remember, he's promised to help. He has promised to help me if.

Lisa (12:18)

I'll turn to Him. Psalm 119, verse 81.

Elaine (12:22)

I expect your help, for you have promised it over and over and over and over and over and over again. In the Bible, over 6,000 promises, God says, I want to help you. You were not meant to go through life unplugged.

Lisa (12:38)

He's promised it. And the Bible says this. God cannot lie when he makes a promise and he cannot lie when he makes an oath. These things encourage us. They give us strength to hold onto the hope we have been given.

Elaine (12:54)

If you want to have real hope in a hopeless situation, something that you thought is never going to change, you.

Lisa (13:01)

Need to remember these.

Elaine (13:02)

God is with me.

Lisa (13:02)

He cares about me.

Elaine (13:03)

He knows the situation. He has the power to change and he will help me. Now these five truths are summarized in the second step to getting healthy again.

Lisa (13:16)

Here it is.

Elaine (13:18)

Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to him, and that he has.

Lisa (13:24)

The power to help me recover, to get well again.

Elaine (13:28)

So what happens when I believe that?

Lisa (13:31)

Well, look at the next verse.

Elaine (13:33)

The Spirit that God gives us turns.

Lisa (13:36)

Us into raving lunatics and makes us fanatical nutcases.

Elaine (13:44)

No, the Spirit that God gives us. When God's spirit is inside of you, what happens to you? It says he fills us with power, with love, and with a sound mind or self control. The very three things you need in order to get healthy. Again. First, you need power because you can't change on your own. If you coulda, you woulda. But you can't, so you won't. You need God's power. Power beyond yourself. Second, you need love. What is love? Love is the ability to establish deep, meaningful, satisfying, authentic relationships rather than shallow, superficial, hurtful, painful, selfish relationships.

Lisa (14:32)

Oh boy, do you need love in your life.

Elaine (14:36)

And then you need self control. What is that? Just more willpower? No, it is God's power in your life giving you the ability to say no, to say no to the things that you know are unhealthy for you. And you can have all three of those things if you'll just stay connected to the source.

Lisa (15:00)

Let's bow our heads. In step one, we admit that we are powerless to change unhealthy things in our lives. In step two, we recognize that God has all the power we need to make those changes. Father, I'm sure that there are people here today who feel pretty beat up by their circumstances. They're feeling hopeless. There may be some who are here in so much despair that maybe they've even considered taking their life to end the pain. Thank you so much for bringing these people here today so they could have a new hope. Jesus, I know that you love them very much and I pray that in this moment they will turn it all over to you, get connected, get reconnected so your power can flow through them and they can begin a new life of living hope. Now you pray. Say in your mind, dear God, you know exactly how I've been feeling this week. You've seen the confusion and the sadness in my soul, and today I want to turn it all over to you again. Help me to feel and experience your unconditional love even in the ugly areas of my life. Thank you. That I matter to you. Help me to remember that you know all about my situations and that you have the power to change me and everything else. Thank you for your promises to help today. I want to take step two in getting healthy again. Jesus Christ, I believe you exist. I believe that you love me, that I matter to you, and that you have the power to help me get healthy again. Help me to trust you and to stay connected to you on a day by day, moment by moment basis. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Pastor Rick Warren (17:24)

What a great message today from Pastor Rick. There's something I always can use in my own life after listening to this show. And now, here's Pastor Rick with a letter from one of our listeners.

Holly (17:35)

So many of you have written to Encourage us here at Daily Hope, and not only me, but our entire staff are encouraged by your notes, your letters, and I'm so grateful for your trust in this ministry. It's your prayers and it's your support that help us tell people around the world about the hope of Jesus Christ. Now, one of the ways I can give back to you is through my free daily devotionals. You can sign up for them. If you're not getting them right now, go to pastorrick.com that's pastorrick.com and sign up to get the free Daily Hope devotionals. By the way, here's a letter from Holly, who reads the Daily Hope Devotionals every day. And she says this. Pastor Rick, I've been receiving your daily devotionals for several weeks, and I've been overwhelmed by how positively my life has been impacted. My faith has been growing greatly these past couple of years, and now it is growing exponentially. People say they notice joy shining from me, and I know it's because my heart is being fed every day. And she writes, you know, my story is one that I rarely tell, but as God has brought me through hell and now is showing me the why, I went through it all and it's beginning to make such perfect sense. She writes, I stand behind you, Pastor Rick, along with thousands of others holding you up in prayer during those moments that maybe even you have second thoughts. Blessings 1000 fold. Wow. Thank you, Holly. I mean, Holly. You know, everybody needs encouragement, including me. And I especially need your prayers as much as you need encouragement and prayers from others and from God's word. You know, I'm always so encouraged when I hear about how God is transforming lives. I love these stories. So tell me your story. You can email me rickastorrick.com just email me, tell me your story. And thanks for listening today to Daily Hope. Let's be on the lookout for how God is working in each of our lives.

Pastor Rick Warren (19:29)

Be sure to join us next time as we look into God's word for our Daily Hope. This program is sponsored by Pastor Rick's Daily Hope and your generous financial support.