Summary

In this episode, Andy talks with Ashley Herd, HR and legal leader turned management coach, and author of The Manager Method. Ashley has led HR and legal teams at organizations like McKinsey and Yum Brands, and she brings a refreshingly real-talk approach to the challenges every manager faces, especially those quiet moments of self-doubt that come with growing responsibility.

In this conversation, you'll hear Ashley's take on why imposter feelings are so common among thoughtful leaders, and how her concept of the "career quilt" reframes even the most uncomfortable professional experiences. She introduces her simple but powerful Pause, Consider, Act framework, which is a practical tool for navigating tough management moments without reacting on instinct. You'll also hear how the language we use about people shapes the way we lead them, why delegation is harder than it looks, and how accountability can be reframed as a positive force on your team. Ashley even shares how Pause, Consider, Act has made her a better parent.

If you're looking for a grounded, practical guide to leading people well (without burning yourself out) this episode is for you!

Sound Bites

"We all have our career quilts. And sometimes those are different, like different jobs, actual different experiences like that."
"I felt very much like the other at McKinsey."
"When you open up and show that you are real, you tend to gain the trust and respect that you're so afraid you'll lose if you do that."
"People don't care that you know the message. They want to hear the message for themselves."
"What would I want to have happen to me if I were in the other person's shoes?"
"A rolling stone gathers stress, not moss."
"Just thinking about the people that are doing a lot of the work, how you treat them and talk with and about them? That can shape a lot of the outcomes."
"Tasks can quietly become symbols of our value."
"When you treat your people well, they are a better parent, friend, relative."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction
02:17 Start of Interview
02:45 What's A Leadership Experience That Shaped You?
05:27 The Career Quilt Concept
07:47 Imposter Phenomenon in Leadership
11:45 Spotlight Effect and How We Worry About Being Watched
14:10 Introducing Pause, Consider, Act
15:05 What Pausing Actually Looks Like
21:30 Empathy Without Carrying Too Much
23:47 Rethinking Empathy
25:40 How Language Shapes How We Lead People
28:52 The Delegation Trap
30:33 What Ashley Still Struggles to Delegate
33:15 Reframing Accountability
38:10 Applying the Book Outside of Work
39:43 End of Interview
40:22 Andy Comments After the Interview
43:20 Outtakes

Learn More

You can learn more about Ashley and her work at ManagerMethod.com.

For more learning on this topic, check out:

Episode 468 with James Turk. It's a discussion about what to do during the first 45 days when you take on new responsibility.
Episode 467 with Sabina Nawaz. She was a coach to Microsoft leaders, such as Bill Gates, and she shares insights that, according to her, no one tells you about becoming a boss.
Episode 142 with Amy Cuddy. Amy is most famous for her TED Talk on power posing. But episode 142 is more about presence and how you can more confidently rise to the most daunting challenges. It's a nice follow-up to what Ashley talked about with the imposter phenomenon.

Chat with PMeLa

You can chat directly with PMeLa—the podcast's AI persona—to get episode recommendations and answers to your project management and leadership questions. Visit PeopleAndProjectsPodcast.com/PMeLa to chat with her.

Level Up Your AI Skills

Join other listeners from around the world who are taking our AI Made Simple course to prepare for an AI-infused future.

Just go to ai.PeopleAndProjectsPodcast.com. Thanks!

Pass the PMP Exam

If you or someone you know is thinking about getting PMP certified, we've put together a helpful guide called The 5 Best Resources to Help You Pass the PMP Exam on Your First Try. We've helped thousands of people earn their certification, and we'd love to help you too. It's totally free, and it's a great way to get a head start.

Just go to 5BestResources.PeopleAndProjectsPodcast.com to grab your copy. I'd love to help you get your PMP this year!

Join Us for LEAD52

I know you want to be a more confident leader–that's why you listen to this podcast. LEAD52 is a global community of people like you who are committed to transforming their ability to lead and deliver. It's 52 weeks of leadership learning, delivered right to your inbox, taking less than 5 minutes a week. And it's all for free. Learn more and sign up at GetLEAD52.com. Thanks!

Thank you for joining me for this episode of The People and Projects Podcast!

Talent Triangle: Power Skills

Topics: Leadership, Management, Imposter Phenomenon, Delegation, Accountability, Empathy, Team Culture, Communication, Self-Awareness, New Managers, Personal Growth, Psychological Safety

The following music was used for this episode:

Music: Underground Shadows by MusicLFiles License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Music: Tuesday by Sascha Ende License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license