Pillow Talks Podcast Episode 213: What Do Men REALLY Think About…? Part 3 (Doggy Style, Smut + Morning BJs & More!)

Release Date: June 19, 2025

In the third installment of their popular series, Vanessa and Xander Marin delve deeper into the intricate minds of men, exploring a variety of topics that cast light on male perspectives in relationships and intimacy. This episode is a continuation of their ongoing dialogue aimed at fostering understanding and improving communication between partners.

1. Doggy Style: Perspectives and Observations

The episode kicks off with a candid discussion about what men focus on during the doggy style position. Vanessa raises the question:

Vanessa Marin [08:53]: "What are you looking at during doggy?"

Xander responds openly, sharing his honest thoughts:

Xander Marin [08:56]: "I'm looking at your butthole."

He elaborates, explaining that while maintaining eye contact is challenging in this position, he appreciates observing his partner’s engagement and enjoys the overall experience.

Xander Marin [09:45]: "I think it's hot. Like, I like you naked, and I like all the parts of your naked body."

2. Men’s Perception of Other Women’s Attractiveness

Vanessa probes into how men feel upon seeing women who are perceived as more attractive than their partners.

Vanessa Marin [19:16]: "What do you think when you see a woman who is prettier than me?"

Xander addresses the comparative aspect, emphasizing that long-term relationships transcend superficial comparisons.

Xander Marin [21:04]: "I'm being perfectly honest with you. I don't look at some other woman and go, oh my God, she's so much more beautiful than my wife."

He highlights the importance of emotional connections over physical comparisons, especially after years of building a relationship.

3. Post-Sex Reflections: The Male Reflux Period

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around what men contemplate immediately after sexual activity.

Vanessa Marin [22:50]: "What do men think about right after they finish?"

Xander delves into the physiological and emotional transitions men experience post-orgasm, discussing how initial desires can rapidly shift to contentment.

Xander Marin [24:59]: "It's a weird emotional experience... I feel that after orgasm, my desires don't feel real anymore."

He suggests that this dynamic can lead to awkward moments where men might express desires they don't genuinely intend to pursue post-climax.

4. Home Decor: Do Men Care About How the House is Decorated?

The conversation shifts to domestic life and whether men prioritize home aesthetics.

Vanessa Marin [12:20]: "Home decor. Do they care about how the house is decorated?"

Xander shares his perspective, acknowledging that while men might not prioritize decor as much as their partners, many do appreciate a peaceful and beautiful home environment.

Xander Marin [14:05]: "I think a lot of men feel like they just don't care about it because it doesn't matter what I say now. It's like, the train's off and gone."

He discusses the challenges men face in expressing their preferences and the importance of mutual understanding in decorating shared spaces.

5. Leg Hair: Men’s Views on Female Leg Hair

Vanessa introduces a more personal topic regarding body hair preferences.

Vanessa Marin [47:22]: "What do men really think about leg hair?"

Xander admits he hasn't paid much attention due to his partner's consistent grooming habits but expresses openness to varying preferences.

Xander Marin [48:43]: "If you didn't want to shave your legs, I don't know... I wouldn't be unattracted to you. I genuinely don't know."

He emphasizes the importance of respectful communication and mutual understanding when it comes to personal grooming choices.

6. Hair Styles: Opinions on Messy Buns

The topic of casual hairstyles, specifically messy buns, is explored next.

Vanessa Marin [52:32]: "What do men really think about messy buns?"

Xander shares a genuine appreciation for the messy look, associating it with a relaxed and spontaneous vibe.

Xander Marin [53:02]: "I think I might like the messy one better, honestly."

However, he also acknowledges that men generally focus on the overall appearance rather than specific hairstyle details.

7. Makeup Preferences: Thoughts on Fake Eyelashes

Vanessa questions men's opinions on highly styled makeup, particularly fake eyelashes.

Vanessa Marin [54:30]: "Thick fake eyelashes. Do you know the kind I'm talking about?"

Xander candidly states his preference for minimal to no makeup, expressing that exaggerated makeup often goes unnoticed or unappreciated.

Xander Marin [54:36]: "I don't like that. I don't love that."

He posits that many women use makeup primarily for themselves rather than to appeal to men.

8. Jeans Styles: Wide Leg vs Skinny Jeans

The dialogue moves to fashion choices, specifically jeans styles, and their impact on attraction.

Vanessa Marin [57:32]: "What do men really think about wide leg versus skinny jeans?"

Xander leans towards skinny jeans, noting they accentuate the silhouette but acknowledges it’s a minor preference.

Xander Marin [57:50]: "I think I prefer the skinny ones, but it's, like, a small preference."

He appreciates how certain styles highlight specific features, contributing to overall attractiveness.

9. Thoughts on Aging: Men’s Views on Women Aging

Vanessa brings up the sensitive topic of aging and its perception in relationships.

Vanessa Marin [35:19]: "What do men think about women aging?"

Xander shares that he hasn't encountered conversations about aging negatively and views both him and his partner as aging gracefully together.

Xander Marin [35:31]: "I've never had the experience of any of my friends talking about their partner's aging... it doesn't really note people aging."

He emphasizes a mature perspective where aging is a natural progression that doesn't diminish his attraction or appreciation for his partner.

10. Mental State: Do Men Think About “Nothing”?

Vanessa explores the misconception that men often aren’t thinking deeply.

Vanessa Marin [30:11]: "When men say they aren't thinking about anything, are they actually not thinking about anything?"

Xander clarifies that men are usually focused on specific tasks or activities rather than engaging in deep, abstract thought.

Xander Marin [30:44]: "I'm locked into the activity that I'm doing right now, and I'm not thinking about anything else."

He explains that this focus translates to being present and engaged in the moment, albeit less reflective.

11. Engagement in Relationships: What Keeps Men Invested

One of the pivotal discussions addresses what sustains a man’s interest and commitment in a relationship.

Vanessa Marin [41:17]: "What keeps a man engaged in a relationship?"

Xander emphasizes the significance of feeling seen, understood, and appreciated. He discusses the importance of mutual effort in maintaining intimacy and connection.

Xander Marin [41:17]: "I think men want to be in relationships where they feel seen and understood and appreciated."

He highlights that small gestures and maintaining a vibrant sexual connection play crucial roles in keeping the relationship thriving.

12. Rapid Fire Questions: Additional Insights

Towards the end of the episode, Vanessa and Xander engage in a rapid-fire segment addressing various quick topics:

• Leg Hair: Xander remains open but non-committal, focusing more on overall attraction than specific grooming choices.

• Messy Buns: Xander prefers the messy bun for its relaxed aesthetic.

• Fake Eyelashes: Both agree minimal makeup is preferable, finding exaggerated styles less appealing.

• Jeans Styles: A slight preference for skinny jeans due to their form-fitting nature, though not a significant concern.

Key Takeaways

• Communication is Crucial: Open and honest dialogues about preferences, whether related to physical appearance or domestic responsibilities, foster mutual understanding and strengthen relationships.

• Appreciation Matters: Feeling valued and appreciated is fundamental for men to remain engaged and committed in a relationship.

• Aging Gracefully: Both partners view aging as a natural and beautiful progression, devoid of societal pressures that often undermine self-esteem.

• Personal Grooming Preferences: Respecting each other's grooming choices and expressing preferences respectfully ensures both partners feel autonomous and respected.

• Intimacy Beyond the Physical: Maintaining a vibrant and communicative sexual relationship is key to sustaining long-term intimacy and connection.

Conclusion

In this episode of Pillow Talks, Vanessa and Xander Marin provide valuable insights into the male psyche, debunking stereotypes and encouraging couples to engage in meaningful conversations. By addressing topics ranging from intimate physical preferences to broader relationship dynamics, they offer a comprehensive guide for enhancing mutual understanding and fostering a deeper connection.

Listeners are encouraged to reflect on these discussions and apply the insights to their own relationships, paving the way for healthier, more fulfilling partnerships.

Note: This summary excludes advertisement and promotional segments to focus solely on the episode's core discussions and insights.