450: Decluttering to Combine Households

Summary

Podcast Summary: Episode 450 - Decluttering to Combine Households

Released on March 20, 2025, "A Slob Comes Clean" hosted by Dana K. White delves into realistic and practical strategies for cleaning, organizing, and decluttering. In episode 450, Dana engages in an insightful conversation with Amy, a special effects fabrication artist, about the complexities and triumphs of decluttering while merging households.

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1. Introduction to Decluttering for Combined Households

Dana K. White kicks off the episode by introducing the topic of combining households, a scenario many listeners can relate to, whether through marriage, partnerships, or other living arrangements. She welcomes Amy, a guest who has navigated the challenges of merging her personal space with her husband's and stepdaughter's possessions.

“Decluttering to Combine Households” is the focal point, exploring the intricate balance between maintaining personal organization and accommodating new members.

2. Amy’s Personal Journey

Amy shares her background, detailing her recent marriage of a year and a half and her stepdaughter, who turned 17. She recounts the transition from living alone to sharing a spacious townhouse, which initially seemed manageable until the arrival of her husband and stepdaughter intensified space constraints.

“When he and his daughter started moving in, I suddenly had one less bedroom and a lot less closet space,” Amy explains ([02:00]).

3. The Impact of Space Constraints

As Amy moved into a larger townhouse, the real challenge emerged not from the size but from the influx of belongings. The pandemic exacerbated the situation, forcing the family to share limited space more intensely. This led to a realization that her previously ample 1,200 square feet were no longer sufficient.

“I had about 1200 square feet of personal space. When he and his daughter started moving in, it got really tight,” Amy notes ([03:00]).

4. Mindset Shift and Decluttering Strategies

Amy emphasizes the importance of a mindset shift in decluttering. Instead of defaulting to her possessions, she focused on decluttering her items first to create more space for her family's belongings. She introduces the "container concept," which played a pivotal role in her approach.

“Making a point of decluttering my own things first and creating more space that way has been huge,” Amy states ([04:00]).

One notable strategy Amy employed was limiting closet space by introducing new storage solutions. She purchased a chest of drawers to accommodate essentials, effectively reducing her closet to only items she frequently uses.

“I bought a little chest of drawers and limited it to socks and tank tops, which made it easier to let go of the rest,” Amy shares ([06:00]).

5. Accommodating Sentimental Items

Recognizing the sentimental value of her husband's possessions, Amy took deliberate steps to honor his attachments without overwhelming their shared space. She created dedicated areas for his movie posters and collected figurines, transforming them into decorative elements.

“I created a custom display case for his childhood Star Wars figurines, turning them into artwork instead of keeping them in a box,” Amy explains ([12:00]).

6. Practical Solutions: Take It There Now

Amy introduces her "take it there now" method, a proactive approach to maintaining cleanliness and organization. By addressing tasks immediately, such as emptying the dishwasher or watering plants, she minimizes clutter buildup and keeps her home orderly.

“I will cross my house and it's a townhouse, so I'll get in, you know, 3,000 steps before breakfast, just go downstairs and take care of things,” Amy describes ([14:21]).

7. Managing the Garage and Preparing for a New Car

With plans to purchase a new car, Amy faces the challenge of clearing half of her two-car garage to accommodate the change. She outlines her systematic approach to decluttering long-unused items, emphasizing the importance of defining the garage’s primary function as parking rather than storage.

“The purpose of the garage is already defined—parking the new car. It can no longer serve as storage,” Amy asserts ([25:37]).

Dana advises Amy to approach this task with a decluttering mindset, focusing on removing items not accessed in the past three to five years and thoughtfully organizing sentimental pieces.

“Anything that makes it difficult or impossible to park can't stay. So that automatically shrinks the amount of stuff you can have,” Dana advises ([26:56]).

8. Leveraging Community and Support Systems

Amy highlights the value of her local "buy nothing" group, which allows her to donate and pass on items she no longer needs. This community support not only aids in decluttering but also fosters a sense of connection and fulfillment through giving.

“Listing items in the buy nothing group makes me feel so much better knowing someone else appreciates them,” Amy shares ([25:10]).

9. Celebrating Small Victories

Throughout the decluttering process, Amy celebrates small successes, such as repurposing old TV boxes for community projects. These victories reinforce her commitment and demonstrate the positive impact of organized living.

“She (a young woman) used the TV boxes for a giant art project, and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside for using them,” Amy recounts ([35:34]).

10. Embracing Flexibility and Future Planning

Amy discusses the importance of keeping her home adaptable to accommodate her family's dynamic schedule. By maintaining organized spaces, she ensures that sudden changes, like last-minute travel plans, are seamlessly managed.

“With everything in its place, it's easier to pivot on a dime and handle unexpected changes,” Amy explains ([52:30]).

11. Community and Ongoing Support

Dana acknowledges the benefits Amy derives from being part of the Kindred Spirits group, where members support each other through various stages of decluttering. Amy appreciates the group's acceptance and the shared journey toward a tidy home.

“Everyone's really nice and considerate. We all seem to accept people where they are,” Amy reflects ([47:03]).

12. Final Insights and Encouragement

As the conversation wraps up, Amy shares heartfelt insights on maintaining an organized home and the mental clarity it brings. Dana encourages listeners to adopt similar strategies, emphasizing that decluttering is a continuous and rewarding process.

“Having things under control makes it so much easier to grab and go,” Amy concludes ([52:20]).

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Key Takeaways:

• Mindset Shift: Transitioning from a personal to a shared decluttering perspective is crucial when combining households.

• Practical Strategies: Implementing specific methods like the "container concept" and "take it there now" helps maintain order.

• Respecting Sentiments: Creating dedicated spaces for sentimental items honors personal attachments without cluttering shared spaces.

• Community Support: Engaging with local groups and support systems can facilitate the decluttering process and provide emotional reinforcement.

• Flexibility: Organized spaces allow for adaptability in dynamic living situations, ensuring that sudden changes are manageable.

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Notable Quotes:

• “I had about 1200 square feet of personal space. When he and his daughter started moving in, it got really tight.” – Amy ([03:00])

• “Making a point of decluttering my own things first and creating more space that way has been huge.” – Amy ([04:00])

• “The purpose of the garage is already defined—parking the new car. It can no longer serve as storage.” – Amy ([25:37])

• “Anything that makes it difficult or impossible to park can't stay. So that automatically shrinks the amount of stuff you can have.” – Dana ([26:56])

• “Having things under control makes it so much easier to grab and go.” – Amy ([52:20])

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This episode offers a blend of personal anecdotes, practical advice, and heartfelt reflections, making it a valuable resource for anyone navigating the challenges of merging households and seeking effective decluttering techniques.

Transcript

[Dana K. White]

Welcome to A Slob Comes Clean, the Podcast. I am Dana K. White. I share my personal desalobification process as I figure out ways to keep my own home under control. I share the truth about cleaning and organizing strategies that actually work in real life for real people, people who don't love cleaning and organizing. Thanks for joining me today. This is podcast number 450. What in the world does that mean?

[Amy]

I've.

[Dana K. White]

450. 225. I was gonna say, does that mean I've talked for 900 hours and that's the opposite of what I need to do? 225 hours. At least here. So you can listen to this for. Oh, I don't know. How many days would that be? I don't know.

[Amy]

I'm.

[Dana K. White]

I'm not about to start doing math here. So anyway, forget I said any of that, but today's podcast is called Decluttering to Combine Households. I am talking with one of my kindred spirits here. And y'all, this is proof that we.

[Unknown]

Are super cool people.

[Dana K. White]

We are. She has an interesting, to say the least, like, super interesting, fascinating job that we talk about. And it's just. It's a really fun conversation. So I think you're going to enjoy this conversation that we have. And don't forget, if you would like to be a member of our Kindred spirits group, you can always go to patreon.com slob comes clean and learn how to join us. All right, here's my conversation.

[Unknown]

Amy, thank you so much for being willing to come on the podcast and tell us everything about you.

[Amy]

Hi, Dana. It's so nice to talk to you on here.

[Unknown]

I'm excited. Tell me a little bit about yourself and your unique life situation.

[Amy]

So I am 52, and I. I think you are pretty close to that, right?

[Unknown]

Yes. About to be 51. Yes.

[Amy]

Yes. So I am recently married. I've been married about a year and a half. I have no kids of my own. My husband has a daughter who just turned 17, but we have been together for about eight years. The pandemic kind of threw off wedding planning for a while there, but before that, I. I was previously married and then single for six years and owned my own townhouse. And then when my husband and I got together, he slowly started moving into my place. And before that, I always thought I was kind of a tidy person, but what I didn't realize is I had about 1200 square feet of personal space. And when he and his daughter started moving in, I suddenly had one less bedroom A lot less closet space. And it was fine until then. And he works away from home, so he'll be gone for months at a time sometimes. So he'd be in and out. It was no big deal. And we rented out his house. So when he really started moving in. And then the pandemic hit and suddenly the three of us were really sharing space and it got really tight. So about three, three and a half years ago now, about the time that you were moving, I bought a larger townhouse in my same complex, but it needed a ton of work. So we spent about a year and a half in construction. Once we got things so hard. Yeah, we got it down to the studs, the whole place. And then once we got through the construction, we brought a. Basically a two car garage worth of his storage into the house. And that's really left me with a. I don't want to default to just all my own stuff getting put away, but there's all this stuff that didn't exist in my household before and just slowly working our way through all of that now. Luckily, my new place has a lot more space, but you know how it is when you're under construction. You kind of do. Okay, well, this bedroom's done. We're gonna get cozy in this little room. And then. Okay, now the kitchen's done. Okay, well then you just start scooting the mess around and around. Yeah, yeah. Make everything work.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, no, it's. It's very. Combining households is challenging. The idea that the next bigger place is going to be the magic solution is definitely challenging. And storage coming into regular old life is also really, really challenging. So I think a lot of people will relate to exactly your story and. But let's start with you telling me, like, what is working well for you?

[Amy]

Well, I mean, I think a lot of it is a mindset shift for me and not defaulting to just my own things. And so really making a point of decluttering my own things first and, you know, creating more space that way. The container concept has been huge.

[Unknown]

Tell me how that works. Like, go tell me about when you kind of just had what you needed in your space and then he brought in a lot of stuff. How did the decluttering your own stuff first help in that overall situation?

[Dana K. White]

It makes me so happy to have all my laundry clean and folded, put away. Even better. It makes me so happy to have all my favorite options ready to wear when I stumble into my closet in the morning. But when life is busy, it can be hard to fit doing laundry into the week. One of our closest friends was in the hospital for three months. So now that he's home, his wife is worn out getting things back under control. Rinse has been a huge help, so she can let someone else deal with laundry. With Rince's app or via their website, you can schedule your pickup any day of the week. Rince picks up your clothes professionally, cleans them, and then delivers them straight back to your door. Finding something that makes life easier makes me giddy. And there's nothing easier than picking up your phone and and scheduling a pickup with the Rinse app. Sign [e-mail] and get $20 off your first order. That's R I N S E dot com.

[Amy]

Well, in my own old place when he first moved in, I realized, okay, well, I have to give up half my closet. And I had a good sized walk in closet in which I hung up everything I like, literally, besides socks and underwear. Every item of clothing, every T shirt, every tank top, all were hung up. I was like, okay, well this isn't going to work. You're going to have to give up half the space here. So I bought myself a little chest of drawers and was like, okay, this is all the socks you get to keep go in this drawer. That's it. And all your tank tops have to fit in this drawer. Just simply limiting it to that. And then it made it easier to be like, okay, well, this one's pretty beat up. I can let that tank top go. You know, I can let these two pair of underwear I never wear go. I can, you know, just slowly whittling things down. That's been huge. And that, that let me really clear up half the closet space more in the, like in the kitchen. You know, he has a lot of, like, small appliances, blenders, things like that that he uses all the time. And the honest truth is his blender was much nicer than mine. Okay, well, we only have space to keep one blender. It's ridiculous to keep 2. I'll keep his good blender. You know, we live in, in Southern California. So the nice thing is his blender has a plastic top on it. So that means I can take margaritas out by the pool.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[Amy]

Plastic blender top.

[Unknown]

You know, so it's nicer, but it's also more practical.

[Amy]

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's been really helpful. Yeah, I work behind the scenes in the movie industry. I'm a special effects fabrication artist. So I, yeah, I'm a former theater kid, so I'm more in the Theatrical costuming, end of things. But I build creature suits, puppets, and specialty costumes for movies and tv. So I've worked on, like, all the Mandalorian series, all the Guardians of the Galaxy, Iron man, all these kind of shows.

[Dana K. White]

That's so cool.

[Unknown]

Yeah, we have the most interesting people. We really do. Anyway, keep going, Keep going.

[Amy]

Yeah. Then my. My husband is a visual effects supervisor, so he handles more the. The computer effects for any given. He's usually on TV shows lately, but he's done some movies as well, so he's currently working on 1923, which is a Yellowstone sequel. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So he's been working on that. So both of us travel for work, but he'll travel for months at a time. Okay. Occasionally, like, he spent the year before last. He spent the bulk of the year in, like, South Africa and Morocco, and he's all over the place, and I tend to travel more short term, but it just makes for a very interesting flow of, like, today you've got three people in the house, and then, oh, his mother's coming down to visit. And then next week I have just me and my little elderly Yorkie.

[Dana K. White]

So.

[Unknown]

So tell me about that. Like, you. Here's what I'm appreciating about, hearing you talk. Okay. It was your home alone for a while, Right. For six years. You also sounds like you are the most consistently there all the time. And yet what I'm hearing in you is a very much a willingness and acceptance of. This is his home, too.

[Amy]

Right. And I think.

[Unknown]

I think that can be a hard thing for a lot of people. So can you give me your perspective on that?

[Amy]

Yeah, I mean, it took a long time to get to that zone, and I still. It's still challenging, of course, because it is so much. You know, I am the one using the kitchen the bulk of the time. I am. But it's really an attitude shift. And it's. It's. Like I said, it's taken a while to get there. The other challenge is my. My husband, when he was in college, he went to Berkeley, and there was the Berkeley fire in 91, and his apartment burned down, along with tons of other people's homes. So he lost basically everything he had at that point. Like, if it wasn't in his car that day, he. It's gone. And so I think that's created in him a. A need to keep more things. He's really sentimental about all of his personal things, and so I have to respect that. That's a, you know, a real traumatic incident. And it's trauma response. So I. He keeps a lot more sentimental items than I do, but he deserves space for those things.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Amy]

For the most part. A lot of his more sentimental items are in his office, the space that we've created. But also he has a lot of, like, movie posters and things that aren't really. You know, I don't necessarily want to decorate with Star wars posters, but they are what I know, but they're very meaningful to him. And so I. I've, like, created the space for that.

[Unknown]

So how have you created the space for that?

[Amy]

Our stairwell and our. Like, at the top of our stairs, there are some big empty walls. And so that's where all of his movie posters are going. All the Star wars ones, all the vintage ones. And then I had a custom cabinet guy create a display cabinet for his childhood Star wars figurines that happened to be at his mother's house when his place burned down. Yeah. So instead of just having this jumbled mess in a box, I created a custom display case for them. So you can hang it on the wall and it becomes an artwork instead of.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Amy]

You know, it's kind of the. You can hide it or feature it. Yes. You might as well embrace it and make it part of the decor. And people love it, too.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah. Well, it's such a conversation piece. And. And I'm sure it makes him feel like you honor him and you acknowledge, you know, what's important to him. So that's. That's really important.

[Amy]

And then he's also. For years and years, since his teens, he's collected Hard Rock Cafe pins, you know, which is, I think so delightfully cheesy. But for every time I would be going through boxes, I kept finding all these pins, and they were just a mishmash mixed in with everything else. And so I had that same cabinet guy create a. It's basically a. A topper to my coffee table that is a. Like a giant shadow box. And so we put all of his Hard Rock Cafe pins in there. So he spent great. Yeah, he spent days and days, like, organizing them and putting them where he wanted them, so.

[Unknown]

Oh, that's fun. That's great. Yeah, I love that. No, I think that's really important to hear, because I know that's one of the biggest challenges a lot of people have, especially when you have been on your own and then combining the spaces, especially, you know, it means a lot, too, because it was your space that he came into. And, you know, if it's going to be his space too, Then we have to acknowledge that and make that a priority. So tell me, is there anything else that you were going to say is working well for you?

[Amy]

Oh, I, well, I really love the take it there now. And I kind of, I call it my like high step count cleaning system. I, I seem to be a morning person. I get the bulk of my energy in the morning. So I'll be up at like 5:00 and you know, I'm going down to make my coffee. I'll take these two empty water glasses with me. I'll take these, you know, clean folded kitchen towels. I'll take that down with me. And I, you know, just, okay, what all goes downstairs, I'll take that all with me. And then once I'm down there, I'm like, okay, well empty the dishwasher, reload anything that's, you know, come about overnight. You know, just if I pick something up, I have to go take it and put it away immediately. And then just look around and go, oh, well that needs to go away too. So I'll take that back to the other. So I will cross my house and it's a townhouse, so it's four stories. So I'll get in, you know, 3,000 steps before breakfast, just go downstairs and, you know, take my dog out and just everything. But I kind of force myself to, oh, well, I picked up this plant watering pitcher. You know, actually the plants need to be watered, fill it up, go water plants and then put it away.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's the purposefulness of the take it there now mindset and the power of that. And it's. Once you start looking at things that way, it changes how you see future things to be done.

[Amy]

Yeah. Something that's been challenging for me is for years and years, that's when I did my laundry. So I just did a load, maybe two loads a day starting at 5am but in my old townhouse unit, my laundry was down next to the kitchen and the laundry room backed up against the downstairs bathroom of the people next door who were also early risers. It just, Not a problem. My new place, the washer and dryer are upstairs. They back up against the bedroom of the people next door. And so they've, they've commented on, oh, oh, your laundry. So it's, it really messed up my whole system.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Amy]

So I was like, okay, well this isn't working because I, I kept putting in a load at the end of the day and then, you know, I'd find it three days later still sitting there getting stinky. So I started. Okay, well, maybe. Maybe it's a laundry day thing for me. Maybe I have to try this system. So, yeah, that's been actually really working for me now. I try to do kind of laundry weekend. It's either Saturday or Sunday. Right. Whichever day we have less stuff going on. But that has really helped. Just kind of powering through.

[Unknown]

And then it's so nice to be done. And I think. I think that's the thing, is if it works in your system and if it works for, like, where you're standing anyway, and the natural reminders that happen, and it works into your routine and your schedule, then by all means, do the load a day, if that's what works. But if you're running your head against the wall trying to do that and it just doesn't work, then there's so much value and power in the laundry day.

[Amy]

So, yeah, well, and it's sort of. You know, for years and years, I had systems, but I didn't know what they were. They were just my personal default. And so by adding my husband and his daughter to the mix, I've had to analyze why isn't this working now and what can I do to fix it? Which has been certainly a challenge. Like, just. It's like when you say, well, I don't have an accent. And you're like, well, actually, I do have an accent. I'm just so used to it that I don't hear. But I can't imagine how you'd go about doing an American accent. Because I do it every day.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Amy]

Whereas I can, you know, pretend to have an English accent or something. I can analyze that, but I can't analyze my own.

[Unknown]

Right, yeah, until you're forced to.

[Amy]

Exactly, exactly.

[Dana K. White]

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[Amy]

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[Unknown]

So tell me something that you want to a challenge that you would like to discuss today.

[Amy]

Well, I am still working through. So I have a two car garage and also a storage area at the back of the garage. And the biggest challenge is right now. My husband has a nice newer car and I have A She's about 12 years old now and that car will probably go to my stepdaughter very soon. So I'm about to buy a new car, which means I need to clear half the garage.

[Unknown]

Oh, boy.

[Amy]

And that the stuff that hasn't been touched in, I don't know, easily three to five years.

[Unknown]

Okay, so what other decluttering have you done in the last three to five years?

[Amy]

I've worked my way slowly through pretty much everything. The, the living room and kitchen are in really good condition. My stepdaughter's room still has a lot of boxed things in it. She's holding on to a lot of her, you know, childhood stuffies and stuff. And so I was like, okay, you can keep them, but these boxes are going in your room. So. Yeah, and I've offered to help her go through them, but I think that's really her.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[Amy]

You know, like not only her responsibility, but her privilege or her. I gotta respect her right to go through.

[Unknown]

Of course. Okay, so you have your house. I know that it's not without challenges. Right. You know, I mean, you've got three person household and all that, but you have the spaces that are, you know, kind of primarily yours. You feel like those spaces are under control at this point?

[Amy]

Yes, yes.

[Unknown]

And you like the way that they are?

[Amy]

I would say they're about 85, 90% there.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Unknown]

So you've seen the power of working in those spaces.

[Amy]

Absolutely. I mean, you should have seen, you should have seen when we were going through construction. I feel like I should send you photos. They were so appalling. But yeah, we've slowly, slowly worked our way through everything.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Amy]

What I like to do is I have a local buy nothing group and I will, I'll go to it and just look at the asks and.

[Unknown]

Oh, that's smart.

[Amy]

Like, oh, oh, you wanna, you wanna love seat? I have a love seat.

[Unknown]

You can have my love.

[Amy]

You know, it makes me feel so much better to know that somebody's just gonna come and take it. Yeah. So. And the only things that I list on there are things that are. Oh, I, I don't know if you're familiar with. Like, Avon used to have this red glassware. I think it was called, like Cape Cod glassware. And when my grandmother passed away years ago, she left me, or she didn't specifically leave me, but the family decided that I needed the red Cape Cod glassware collection. And I was nice because it reminded me of my grandmother, but I never ever used it. And it's an entire cabinet full of glassware. And when I, I finally was like, okay, well, I will get rid of, like, I will bring it down to. I only have an eight piece place setting of my nice china. So I will get down to only eight pieces of this glassware and I'll get rid of the rest. So I put the rest on the buy nothing group and this young woman was like, oh God, I collect this. I love it so much. I have this display wall that I put it all on and I was like, you're getting all of it like literally kept or little like cordial glasses that I can put little candles in on my Christmas table. I was like, that's enough.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Because you have all of the memories in those four little cordial glasses.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Amy]

So I, I gave her all of the glassware and then I was like, wait, I have a salt and pepper shaker. You can have that too. And she was thrilled. So I.

[Unknown]

That's great.

[Amy]

That just made me so happy to send that out to somebody who was appreciating it.

[Unknown]

Yeah. So, okay, so your garage, the purpose of the garage is already defined.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Parking the new car in it, that is its purpose. Right. Which means it can no longer serve as storage.

[Amy]

It can't serve as 80% storage. I still have. So what I've recently done is there was a big wooden like kind of storage structure, like a giant wardrobe at the front of the garage. And it was just unique, impractical. So I tore that out and have painted that wall and there's room there to put up like a six foot shelving unit. Okay. So I think the solution there is.

[Unknown]

That is my garage storage and it is the container. But, but go ahead with the mindset of the purpose of this space is to park the garage. It is not for storage. Not that we can't have some storage in the parking area, but if we have the mindset that the purpose of the space is the parking, then anything that makes it difficult or impossible to park can't stay. So that just automatically shrinks the amount of stuff that you can have. Is that something you can do quickly and easily put shelves in that area?

[Amy]

It's quick and easy to put those shelves up. Yes.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Okay. So the first thing I would do before you even do that is go into that space with the mindset that I am clearing stuff out. Like stuff has to leave my house. You also haven't looked at it in three to five years. So it's going to be all. It's going to be a lot of the look.

[Amy]

Look.

[Unknown]

Always look. Kind of a strategy. Right. And go in with the five step process. So this is my process. This Is my starting with the trash, you know.

[Amy]

Right.

[Unknown]

And going through, is there anything easy, like it belongs somewhere else in the house? Anything that, you know, because really, truly the stuff that would go on the shelves would be the stuff that you have needed to access over the last three to five years in that stuff. Right. Has there been much that you've done that with?

[Amy]

Well, some of it is like my husband's keepsake items. And so that's the stuff that I think will get space on the shelves. But there are some old construction materials in there that, like, I don't need any more sheets of sheetrock, you know, like, maybe that's stuff that I can get rid of or. Well, I found the other day when I was kind of glancing through it is a pile of tile. That was the guy who sold its tile. That not my tile.

[Unknown]

So it's like several tiles ago.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah. So, you know, I can definitely get rid of that. And that might be something that I. I need to put three or four pieces in the, in my garbage at a time, so I don't overload my garbage can. But yeah, you know, they're like good sized pieces of tile and I don't think they're in good enough shape to give away. So, you know, actually I might be able to put some of those in my car and just throw them in the dumpster at work.

[Unknown]

It's possible. Yeah.

[Amy]

Probably clear up a couple square feet just immediately.

[Unknown]

Yeah. So. So that there's going to be trash. You've already named off several things that were trash. There's going to be obvious donations of, you know, materials and things that, you know, you don't want anything that's easy.

[Dana K. White]

Okay.

[Unknown]

I'm going to give myself permission to look for the easy. And then by the time it, it's almost. Yes. You're going to go through, if I needed this item, where would I look for it first? With the understanding that most things you're going to go ahead and stick in the donate box. Right. So it's like the only things I'm going to do that with is like, oh, okay. And then I ask myself that question versus, you know, the, the shelving units are for your husband's keepsakes, which, I mean, honestly, he'll probably be more excited about them being there than in a pile in the middle of the garage. Right?

[Amy]

Sure, yes. I mean, everything's like binned up, but, you know, just stacks of bins. But. And I think he can get overwhelmed with decluttering. But if I bring him like a Handful of things and say, hey, can I get rid of any of these? He's usually very good about saying, oh, well, you know, you can get rid of. I'll get rid of that. I'll get rid of that. And that I'd like you.

[Unknown]

Well, and that's. That's another thing, too. So since we're going to involve him on this, the getting that. That's another part of the value of the five steps, because you go ahead and get out all of the stuff that. That isn't a decision for him to make, because as long as it's in a pile, it feels like part of the decisions he's going to have to make, which is part of what will make him feel overwhelmed. So if you get out all of that other stuff to where we're down to the point where it's only the stuff that in your mind you're thinking will probably go on the shelves, then we can do the. Okay, let's put your favorite things on the shelves first. Which just so naturally sorts out, you know, the. The reality of I'm not rejecting things. I am picking things that deserve space. And hopefully that will sort that out pretty easily with. With fewer emotions right now.

[Amy]

There's also, like, right now he's got a set of really nice speakers that don't really work in our current place, and he took them all out of their boxes to photograph them for sale, and they've never made their way back into the boxes. Okay, that can cut half of my bulk simply by dusting them off and repacking them in their boxes.

[Unknown]

And then once they're packed, can they be listed for sale?

[Amy]

Hopefully that's. That's his prerogative. But I can at least like, debulk the space by taking them down, you know, repacking them in their boxes, kind of consolidating them all together so, like, he knows this is where they all are.

[Unknown]

I like what you said about debulking, because I think that that. Because it's. It's reducing overwhelm. Every bit of debulking reduces the overwhelm that he's feeling. And so many times that. That's that reality. And it sounds like you have a great perspective on this, but that's that reality of when you are wanting to work together with somebody and it's their stuff, and you're trying to be respectful of, you know, saying, okay, I'm going to do this easy part for you, the part I know how to do. I'll go ahead and do that. So that it's less overwhelming. And now, okay, let's put our favorite things on there first. Which helps to reveal the. Do the boxes of things that I've already photographed to sell actually deserve space to be stored? And then that can often be the. Oh, I'd rather actually just get them sold than use up this storage space. Right, right.

[Amy]

I'm also. I'm considering buying. I know we don't usually start with buying containers, but I'd like to get bins that fit perfectly on those shelves. So that. And because a lot of the bins that are already existing are pretty beat up, I'd be like, okay, here are these lovely new containers that we can put, you know, all these specialty items into these. Oh, you know, vintage things and collectibles and things like that. And if we restrict it to that, maybe it'll help to just create the container concept. Like.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Amy]

These perfect bins are what you get for storing your stuff.

[Unknown]

Yeah. And I would consider the bins, like, yes, make sure they fit perfectly, but as a tool, you know, and so it's like, I have some bins here so that as we go through things to put on the shelf, if there's something that needs to be, you know, small items grouped together of the same kind, then we can use one of those bins. Does that make sense? Instead of. Because I think sometimes when we have bins stacked up ahead of time before we start putting things in, then it feels like we need to fill all of those bins.

[Amy]

Yes, I agree. Yes.

[Unknown]

Right. So. So considering it as I have a. A tool supply ready and maybe start with fewer than you actually could fit on there, because there may be some things that just need to go straight on the shelf and don't need to be grouped in with other things. So it's like, I've got some of these and then we can always order more because now we know exactly, you know, the size and the type and all that. But, yeah, I mean, it sounds like it's. It sounds like your mindset that you've developed gets you ready for this. And it also sounds like there's a lot of stuff that's going to be able to come out and be easier than it feels like it's going to be when you see it as a big pile.

[Amy]

Yes, definitely. I had actually a pretty huge victory recently with. My husband's a big keeper of boxes. You know, he likes to keep all the boxes. Computer came in, his monitor came in, all these things, and they do come in handy for resale. And he does switch up his technology pretty regularly. But we had, I don't know, three or four giant TV boxes in the garage. And I finally was like, you know, honey, you're never gonna move these TVs in these boxes. If we were to move, you'd buy new TVs, I know you. So how about we let Whoever buys your TVs like, deal with their own boxing or just, you know, when we moved one townhouse to the other, we just put them in the car and moved them. We didn't box anything up. And then I had a. On my buy nothing group, there was a, like, middle school art teacher who was looking for large pieces of cardboard for a project. And I was like, oh, oh, this is perfect. And she came and took all my TV boxes.

[Unknown]

Oh, that's fantastic.

[Amy]

Yeah. So I felt like they got, they got used, they got, and then later they got recycled. That was part of the project. Yeah, they made giant pieces of artwork out of the TV boxes. And I felt all warm and fuzzy inside for using.

[Unknown]

And that's right up your alley is to support that.

[Amy]

So. Yes, definitely. Exactly.

[Unknown]

I love it. I love it.

[Amy]

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So what's another situation that is a challenge for you right now?

[Amy]

Well, I've actually just. It's. I've been decorating for Christmas and as I've been putting things up, I've been really going through and going, oh, you know what? I didn't, I didn't put that up this year. I don't really like or, you know, find those Ornaments that you're like, well, I'm gonna put that on the back of the tree. I'm like, why? Why not just let it go? I. For years and years, I collected my Christmas ornaments. And to realize that I don't have to get a new ornament every year. Like, I can if something really strikes me, but some of the old ones are just heavy and, you know, make the branches bend. They're, you know, challenging to find a big enough spot on the tree for, like. Okay. Right. And you know what? These lights, only half of them work.

[Unknown]

Yeah. I think that's one of the. To me, that's one of the perks of Christmas stuff, is that because, you know, other stuff could just sit out and you just stop seeing it, and you just don't even notice it anymore. And then it takes, like, a real moment of focus. But it's like Christmas gives us that moment of focus every year as you pull it out of the box and you think, wait, what? I don't. If I don't want to put it out, then it's something that hopefully is easy to let go.

[Amy]

Yeah. Well. And I have. Okay, so I had a. A stuffed animal zebra that I've had for, I don't know, 20 years now that it doesn't. I mean, Susan, she's very special to me, but she's not really something I want to display all the time. And she's a little stuffed zebra, and she wears infant socks on her feet. That's just her name, Susan. That's very cute.

[Unknown]

Oh, I love it.

[Amy]

Yeah. So I was like, wait a second. Her socks are looking a little grubby. Why not put a little Christmas socks on her?

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[Amy]

And now she's a Christmas decoration. So Susan socks with her new Christmas socks is part of my Christmas decor. And she'll get packed away and put back out once a year at Christmas.

[Unknown]

Which is the same thing that you said about the hard rock buttons and the Star wars figurines is like, okay, we took it from being something that was in a box somewhere. And I was like, I do love that thing, but I'm not actually, you know, doing anything with it to. Now it has a purpose. Now it's actually something that's a conversation piece.

[Amy]

Yeah. Now feature it. Love it.

[Unknown]

I love it. That's great. That's great. Anything else you want to discuss?

[Amy]

Well, I'm very curious about your new book, but I think you're not quite discussing that yet.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's the spiritual side of things, so. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what's coming out. I don't know when this comes out, if it'll be out. I also have another book that I'm writing after that, so. Oh, my goodness. I don't know what I was thinking getting into so many.

[Amy]

But, yeah, I regularly, I will put on decluttering at the speed of life on my headphones and just work.

[Unknown]

Oh, that makes me happy.

[Amy]

Like another body doubling kind of feel. You and I declutter together all the time. Like, when you're a new. Every Thursday, your podcast will come out. I'll actually save it so that, like, I'll listen to it over the weekend or when I've got a little chunk of, you know, 45 minutes an hour when I'm intending to work. I'll say until then so that we can. We can work together.

[Unknown]

I know. I love that. I'm like, sometimes people are like, so, you know, your podcast does really well. I'm like, I don't know that there's a better subject matter for a podcast than decluttering, you know, because it's like, oh, you can listen while you actually do the thing. Which is just. There's a lot of power in that. And it makes me so happy to think of, like, you know, us decluttering together, even while I might be laying out by the pool. But, you know.

[Amy]

Right. I am. Yeah. Years ago, I had a. A book called something like the queen of Clean or something like that. And whenever I wanted to get, like, you know, inspired to clean the house, I would, like, read that book for a little bit, and then I'd be like, yeah, that's a good idea. I should do that. But audiobooks and, you know, podcasts, that makes all the difference to be able both at the same time. It just gets you in the mood. And when my whole house was under construction, I. I listened to your other book, the how to do how to.

[Dana K. White]

Bait at your home without.

[Amy]

Yeah. Losing your mind. Like, I've. Well, I've listened to that one 400 times as well. But during that time, I literally was like, I don't have a spot to set a coffee cup. Like, that was so necessary during that time period because everything felt so overwhelming. But every square inch of your place is covered in plaster. Dust. Dust and, you know, just debris and to. Okay, all right. I'm going to make this little clean spot right here. This.

[Unknown]

You know, remodeling is the worst. I mean, it's the best because it produces great results, but it's so incredibly challenging.

[Amy]

Yeah, we had for, I think three months. My husband and I were in one that's like a 10 by 12 foot bedroom. And we had a queen size bed in there, two bedside tables, all of our accessible clothes, and a little cart with my coffee maker on it and some bottles of water so I could make coffee in the morning. And that was it.

[Unknown]

Did that help you at all identify what you really needed? I mean, did it shift your perspective at all on that or did it just make you so excited to have your stuff?

[Amy]

I mean, it certainly, you know, broke down like. Well, you know, the truth is I'm only using four coffee mugs. I have my favorite four. And those are what I use every day.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Amy]

So I decluttered mugs kind of hardcore. And my husband predominantly drinks iced coffee. So he, he gets like one tea mug and one like soup mug and that's really all he needs. Yeah. So the only thing I realized is I do need to keep a couple of extra mugs for guests because I don't necessarily want them using my mugs. Mine. Those are my special mugs.

[Unknown]

But that's like a separate category, right? It's like, okay, there's mugs and then there's mugs for guests.

[Amy]

Yes, exactly, mugs. But down to one smallish cabinet shelf for mugs. Yeah. And my everyday dishes, I just have six plates, six little plates, six bowls, and I could probably cut those down a little bit. We don't use bowls a lot. I don't really think of myself as any sort of minimalist, but you know, there are some categories where I'm like, I really don't need that many things.

[Unknown]

I think that's a great point. It's like, what are the categories that I can declutter down as low as I can so that maybe that opens up freedom or space or bandwidth or mindset or whatever for other areas that I enjoy more to, you know, have more things.

[Dana K. White]

Right.

[Amy]

And, well, simply like I have a. A drawer with three dividers in it that have, you know, two of them are underwear and one of them is socks. And like just that, like, little moment of realization that, oh, this pair of socks, the elastics gone out, you know, this pair of underwear is looking a little scruffy. Put it in the trash right now. Just right now. Don't put it in the laundry first. Or, you know, if you wore them all day and the elastics out, throw them out right now. Yeah, magical.

[Unknown]

It is, it's that. Take it there now. Like, wait a minute, if I take it there now, I'm eliminating frustration. Future steps.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Dealing with this thing. Thinking about this thing again. I have too many things to think about. And if I can throw one of them in the trash so I never have to think about it again. Even better.

[Amy]

Yeah. And I. I put a little garbage can. It's actually a little magnetic one that sticks on the side of my washer dryer that. It's like where you put the lint. Yeah.

[Dana K. White]

That's smart.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Amy]

It's actually great. I got that off Amazon. But it's also like, oh, dead sock. And it goes, you know, sock.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Amy]

Totally mismatched. Throw it out like the end. And it's right there on hand.

[Unknown]

How big is it?

[Amy]

I would say it's about, oh, maybe 10 inches wide and about. It's maybe about 9 by 10 and about 3 inches deep. Okay. Little magnetic thing that sticks to the side.

[Unknown]

That's smart.

[Amy]

Yeah. And it's easy to. It's magnetic enough that it doesn't go sliding down, but it is lightly. It's not so magnetic that you can't pop it off and dump it.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Amy]

So. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Because I have. We have a bathroom next to our laundry room, and so I'm always going in there, and it just is a little bit of a hassle factor, you know, of getting in there. So I like that idea.

[Amy]

Yeah. And I. I realized that same situation for me, but I realized I kept leaving the lint ball sitting on my countertop where I fold laundry. So then I'd go fold something black and get lint on it.

[Dana K. White]

Yes.

[Amy]

Oh, that's irritating. So just that little silly little magnetic thing really made my life easier. Love it. Make it really easy to throw things out.

[Unknown]

Yes. How can we make it as easy as possible? To throw things out is the key. That's right. That's right. So tell me what you love about being a kindred spirit.

[Amy]

Well, for the Patreon group, the. The kindred spirit group there, everyone's really nice. Everyone's really considerate. We all seem to, I don't know, accept people where they are. You know, there are a lot of people are in much different stages of. In their decluttering and. And to see Mary Lou's living room looks gorgeous, but her storage room is a. A real mess. Well, we're all in there somewhere. We're all on the same spectrum.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Amy]

And some people will have it really together. And you're like, oh, wow, that's inspirational. But they're just as challenged in their own mind as the people with a lot More to do and it's so accepting. I love that about the group. And I don't make it to a lot of the zoom calls because they tend to happen while I'm at work during the day. Although I have sat in a couple on my lunch break with the camera off, so I can't have cameras on at work because of all the non disclosure agreements.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Amy]

But my thing about the kindred spirits, though, is because I feel like you've added so much value to my process. I just really feel it's necessary to support you. You know, that's just part of appreciating what adds value to your life. Thank you.

[Unknown]

That means a lot to me. It really does.

[Dana K. White]

It does.

[Unknown]

It's a. Yeah, it means a lot. Thank you. So is there anything else you wanted to talk about today?

[Amy]

Well, I mean, I feel like I could talk to you all day, so. But I mean, for the most part, I feel like every time I do get into a little bit of a jam, I kind of go back to decluttering at the speed of life or back to some earlier podcasts that address things directly. I'll kind of scan through and be like, okay, you know, when. When Dana was moving. Now, how did she do that? Okay. You know, deal with that. Or, you know, something about, you know, school or holidays or. I always. I say that my husband and I kind of practice life parkour. I don't saw that episode of the Office where they're like our schedules. Like, literally, I'll be like, oh, Thursday, I need to go to Toronto and be like, oh, okay, all right. Well, can you cover the dog? Can you cover this? Okay. And off we go. Or he'll be like, oh, I suddenly have to. I suddenly decided to take my daughter to a concert. You know, he'll say, and I'll be like, okay, all right, so Thursday night is just me at home. Okay, Change. Change schedule. Now I can do something else. Or, you know, oh, this next job that. That he has is now. He's going to be in Argentina for a month. Okay, all right, let's. Let's figure that out, you know, but yeah, things happen in. Things change so quickly for our household. Like, I mean, for example, we're going to Hawaii for Christmas, but we just scheduled yesterday, and it's, you know, next week. You know, I know.

[Unknown]

I'm like, it's December 16th when we're talking. That's amazing.

[Amy]

Yeah, I better get that car reserved, you know?

[Dana K. White]

Right.

[Amy]

But it's just the more tidy and under control My house is. The easier it is to pivot on a dime. Yes. And be like, oh, okay, you need to go, well, I know where the suitcases are. I know where the packing cubes are. I know where, you know, my husband's camera equipment is. You know, everything is in a place where it's findable. I think that is a previous issue I've had with cleaning and organizing is it's not about where you put it away, it's about where you go to find it.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Amy]

Like the putting away part is just gravy that it's off the counter. It's being able to find it when you're looking for it. That's the magic.

[Dana K. White]

Yes.

[Amy]

When you're like, oh, I. I need, you know, my pants with the zip off legs, because I'm going to be in a, you know, forest somewhere and it's going to be whatever. Like, I know where those are.

[Dana K. White]

Yes.

[Amy]

Or you know, that's. I know where they are.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Well.

[Unknown]

And that's where your house supports the life that you envision. Right. As opposed to taking over life by all of those things being difficult. Having to find it is going to be a three day process. And then knowing that I have it and then, okay, I know I have it, but I'm still going to go spend money because I don't even want to go through that. What it would take to find it.

[Amy]

Right, right. If I have no idea where my headlamp is, I'll just order another headlamp. Even though now I have four.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Amy]

Um, but yeah, it's having things under control makes it just so much easier.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Amy]

To grab and go.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Like our whole lifestyle is so much easier when I know where the laundry is and I know it's done.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Amy]

You know, things like that. Yeah. I can pack a bag immediately because everything's not in a giant pile of laundry.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Amy]

So, yeah.

[Unknown]

I love it. Well, thank you so much for sharing so much of your story and your successes and I think it's going to be really fun and helpful for people to hear all of this.

[Amy]

One little comment. I did want to say I love it when you're doing your little California accent when you're, you know the one.

[Unknown]

I'm talking about, the valley girl from 1980 something.

[Dana K. White]

Yeah.

[Amy]

With that little, like that little growl in the voice. Oh, my God.

[Unknown]

Oh, my word.

[Amy]

Who is that little vocal fry. I think it's hilarious.

[Unknown]

So I have it like I. Does it sound correct?

[Amy]

Okay, I love it.

[Unknown]

I'm gonna take that and I'M gonna run with it. I'm gonna take that validation.

[Dana K. White]

So wasn't that interesting? Like, isn't it fun to think how many of us there are doing really interesting and fascinating things all over the world? I love it, love it, love it so much. I hope you enjoyed this Don' but if you would like to know more about being a member of our Patreon group, our kindred spirits, go to patreon.com ASLOB comes clean and there will be a link in the show notes as well. For that, don't forget to My new book is out. I would love it if you have read it, if you would go and leave a review that is incredibly helpful for authors. It's incredibly helpful for getting the word.

[Unknown]

Out about the book.

[Dana K. White]

And it just naturally boosts the algorithm so more people see it. But also it lets the people who do see it know if it's for them or not. And I know it's Jesus doesn't care about your messy house. It's not for everybody. But your reviews are really helpful in letting people know is this something that.

[Unknown]

They would like to read.

[Dana K. White]

So I will talk to y'all next week.

[Amy]

Bye.