← podcasts Archives - Dana K. White: A Slob Comes Clean
podcasts Archives - Dana K. White: A Slob Comes Clean
470: House Issues, Others Helping, Organizing Tubs, Family Members, Books
00:52:06
As always, I’m taking time off during the summer. This year, though, we’re trying something new! We’re sharing the audio of previous live Q&As that I did on YouTube. If you only listen to the podcast, this will be all new to you!
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- [00:00]
Dani K. White
Hey y', all, did you know that we now offer an ad free version of the podcast over on Patreon? Well we do. Go to patreon.comAslob comes clean to learn more. That's patreon.comAslob Comes Clean to find out more about listening to the podcast ad free. Welcome to A Slob Comes Clean the Podcast. I am Dani K. White. I share my personal deslobification process as I figure out ways to keep my own home under control. I share the truth about cleaning and organizing strategies that actually work in real life for real people. People who don't love cleaning and organizing.
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Listener
Thanks for joining me today.
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Dani K. White
This is podcast number 4:70. This is one of my summer podcasts. I'm going to call this one Helping Others and Books.
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Listener
I know this is a Q and.
- [00:49]
Dani K. White
A that I recorded in the past over on YouTube live and we are sharing the audio of it here as a podcast that is part of our SUMM series. Normally I don't put out podcasts in the summer, but we're trying this this year so that we can have new podcasts still go out over the summer. But very soon I will be coming back and sharing regular podcasts, right? Like the normal actual recorded just for the podcast podcasts that'll start up here in a couple of weeks. All right, here you go. This episode is sponsored by gab. The youth mental health crisis is often in the news and we know that social media is a big part of that. Spend an average of 9 hours a day on screens outside of school, that's like a full time job. Here's some good news. A company called gab, that's G A B B has solved the problem by doing something no one else is doing. Their approach is tech in steps. Tech in Steps works by providing kids safe phones and watches that are tailored to every age and offer just the right device at the right time. You'll have peace of mind with GPS tracking for young kids with the ability to increase feedback features as they get older. Parents can enable apps on the phone so you can update them on their device as your child grows. Bottom line, you can give your kid a device that was made for a kid. Helps you help your kids be connected safely. I don't claim to be an expert, but I know that when my kids hit the age when they had to have a phone to communicate with me, to pick them up or for their activities and responsibilities, I wished for a phone exactly like gab. A phone that only had the basics until they were ready For a little more, use my code to get the best deal on something that will make parent easier and give you peace of mind. Visit gab.com slob and use code slob.
- [02:36]
Listener
For a special offer.
- [02:37]
Dani K. White
That's gab G-A B B that's gab.com slob and Use code slob.
- [02:44]
Listener
Hi Dana. Just before Christmas, we had a major plumbing leak. And long story short, our house is torn up. I am so sorry that you're going through that. And we had to pack up our bedrooms. I felt like we were moving only with Christmas. We only had a few days to pack up. One of the bedrooms is my craft room. I admit I and stopped a number of times to declutter in there. And it has been my Achilles heel. I am determined that when the work on the house is finished that these items I had to pack up in a hurry, no time to declutter, will not all be allowed to come back in. I'm thinking of bringing in only one box at a time, maybe one box per day. And trying to have no mercy in my decisions of what makes the cut and what doesn't. All that to say. Do you have any suggestions for me? Absolutely. First of all, again, I am so sorry that you're going through this. That is so incredibly stressful, right? Like so incredibly stressful. Your idea of one box at a time is excellent. And that's exactly what I would do. I wouldn't put the rule on it of one box a day. I would just be like, when I'm able, I'm gonna go box by box, one box at a time. As you bring it back into the room where it was, where it lived before. What I would do is item by item, treat it as if it's the decluttering process. Right. So item by item, if it's obviously when you take it out, trash or easy meaning. Oh, well, of course, I already know exactly where this goes. Go ahead and take it there. Okay. If it's trash or a donation, have your trash bag and your donate box, your donatable donate box right there. So they can go straight into that. But. But if you take it out and it's not those three things, ask yourself the question, if I needed this item, where would I look for it first? And put it in that spot immediately. Whether it's in this room or it's. I would actually look for this in the garage or I would actually look for this in the primary bedroom or whatever it is. Okay, take it to that spot immediately. That's the key. More than the pacing it out one box a day. The key is the facing reality. That is everything. So you take it to the place where you would look for it first and you face the reality of that space. Is there room for it? If there's not, am I willing to get rid of something in order to create the space that I need for this item to be here? And you put it there immediately. Now in the beginning, it's going to be kind of easy, right? Because the room was empty. You're taking item by item, you're putting it in that spot. But the more that you go through those boxes, that's when you're really faced with reality. Like, oh, I just. I just said I would look for my washi tape in this space and now I've opened up a box that I've got 10 more rolls of washi. I face the reality, okay? I go to that spot where I would look for it and I embrace the reality of that space. This space is only so big. So do I like this washi? Isn't that how you say it? Washi tape? I don't know. I don't actually use these things, so I'm not sure why I pulled that example out of the air. But anyway, this washi tape, do. Is it value? Do I love it enough that I'm willing to take out another one? I don't love as much in order to create the space for that. So you're just that facing the reality of the space, that taking it there now is everything in this process that is the thing. And doing it that way means you can stop at any time. So you might have a day where you can get through six boxes and you might have a day where you bring a box in and you get through three things. And that is okay, right? Because you know that when you go back to it, when you have energy again, you just keep working on that box, right? That's. That's the key. It's. It's the following the no mess process. So in case you're new around here, I have my no mess decluttering process. That is what decluttering at the speed of life is like. That is where I lay out the process. I apply it to all the different spaces in your home. Also give you the mindset, shifts and everything that you need to change how you function in your home as far as stuff. But that no mess process is the key to. To having a methodical way to do what it is that you're wanting to do here. Okay, I found your five steps to be incredibly helpful when I'm guiding others My husband and five year old son in my household, but also friends and family as they work in their houses. When helping others, I'm wondering how much you set the stage first. Do you explain any ground rules, have them declare the purpose for spaces and or make agreements or just start looking for trash? It seems you have two boundaries that are clear to you but feel somewhat subjective. Containers should have enough room that you can easily find things and get things in and out and 2 the family's space to live function gets priority over stuff. When helping others, do you get them to commit to these ideas up front? I'm finding that for some the desire to keep something means a willingness to shove a container full or being okay with storing something on the floor, counter, et cetera. That in my view gets in the way of living. How much do you push back on the overall over full containers or expansion of storage into living spaces? I'm willing and able to enforce the container limits on my five year olds, but it's harder with adults. Absolutely it is. Do I let it be or is there a way to help them make the mindset shift? Okay, so let's see what the abbreviated version of this question was. Helping others. How much do you set the stage first? I don't. Okay, I literally here's and this is what I teach my coaches in in my coach training and the certification and all that. It is so important. And we're talking about adults here, right? Because you said specifically like it's easier to enforce that with your five year old. Yes, you're right. But when you're talking about an adult, the building of trust both in you as someone who will help them without judging and that this process actually can work for them when every other way that they've tried to declutter in the past has only made them frustrated, has probably hurt relationships with the people who they who were helping them before all of that. The building trust in you and in the method are key. Okay, so you stick to the process. Stick to the decluttering process, the no mess process instead of explaining it first. Instead say okay, this is the method that's worked really well for me and I recommend that you have it printed out on a piece of paper so a slob comes clean.com 5f I V E. You can go there. Sign up for my free newsletter and you get the printable of the five steps. Right? That piece of paper is something outside of you so that it's not a matter of Me trying to tell you, this is what's going to work instead, you know, you were at a place where you were ready to listen and hear and then apply for them. They may have been like, yes, I want you to come in and help me. But I guarantee you, they're scared of it. Right? Like, they're scared of you helping them. And is this going to go like it always did when my mom tried to help me clean my room in the past? Whatever. So having that piece of paper and saying, okay, so the first step is trash. What in here is trash? Let's just get that out of here. Here's the key. They determine what is trash. Because the value of the trash step is that it is no decision. There are no decisions being made. I am not assessing. I'm not evaluating. Is this trash or is it actually useful that. No, it's obvious trash. And we let them make those decisions because as they do that, they see, oh, I can make progress with no angst, with no decisions being made. It is worth it to get in there and get started on the trash. So you're teaching them the value of that as you are working. Okay. As you keep going, Anything that's easy, anything that has an established home already in the house. Okay, you know, let's go ahead and take that there now, through that, you're starting to show them the value of things going in the place where they would look for it first. Even though you're not there yet. Right? Like, you haven't even mentioned that yet. This is just stuff that's easy. Some things do have homes. They get out of the homes. I'm not judging you for that. I'm never asking. I think in one of the. The things was, like, why. I think you. I never ask why. That is one. As coaches, that's one of the things I teach. We don't ask why something is here and not there. We don't because that just halts the process. Instead, our goal is to help them see how quickly they can make progress when they follow the steps in this order. Right. But we don't have to explain that. We just let them experience it. Because that is the most motivating thing, is experiencing the power of this process. So we just go through that and, yeah, we don't. But as we're going and as we're talking, right, like, because we're having conversation, and a lot of times they want to tell me about certain things, and that's fine, and I just listen. But as we're going through the process, I casually work in the fact that, you know, so our goal here is to get things to the point where a five minute pickup is going to get it back under control real easily. That's, that's as we're walking, I mean, as we're working, as we're, as they're getting rid of things, as they're sticking stuff in the donate box, as a dead donation, as we're doing things as we do the, you know, take it there now. We. I know it's tough, but here, just, let's just do this while I'm here so that you can kind of see why this works and how we have to face the reality of the space and, and how powerful that is in all of this. And wow, look at how we could step. So we could stop right now. Look how we could just stop right now. Isn't that cool? You good to keep going? Because if you want to stop, we can stop. Right? I mean, all those things are building trust in the method and are building trust in. You got it. As someone who they really can trust to help them and not judge them during this time. And then, you know, as far as the container concept, all of those things, you know, you get to that point after, after they've gotten rid of a lot of stuff. And so we are focused on better, we're focused on less. And so if they really just want to, you know, shove it harder in there, okay. You know, I mean, we've still made a ton of progress and that was our goal. Right? We've made the space better. The space is better than it was before and, and that's wonderful. So, you know, after this, live with it for a while. If you're finding that it's consistently getting out of control, then, you know, having less stuff will make it easier for it to, you know, stay under control for, for longer. So, you know, you kind of use that and, and work through this process. As far as the, you know, they're fine with setting something on the floor. That is the one time where you would, you would really emphasize the, you know, this is our living space and this is, you know, so it's, it's not ahead of time that you explain to them that, you know, the couch is not a storage thing, but as it comes up, where would you look for this first? Well, I'd look for it on the couch. Okay. But you know, our goal here is that the couch not be a place where we keep stuff, but that it be a place where you can relax. Right. So, so if the Couch was clean, clear. Where would you look for it first? And just use that process and let them be making this, these decisions, which then empowers them to really understand that this is possible to function in their home and then it builds momentum over time. Right. Don't catch that. I was pushing my coaches there. Remember, some of my coaches right now are hosting classes. Okay. Where they will. It's a live interactive thing. It's not a pre recorded thing that you watch on your own time. No. It's an actual live class that you will attend and therefore you have discussions with other people and get to ask them questions in real time and all that. So anyway, check them out. I love my coaches. Can you tell? Okay, next question. I've been making so much progress thanks to your method. It's been so helpful for my anxiety to get my house in order. How the heck do I organize my toolbox AKA a bin of bits and bobs and nails and wires that the DIY people in my life use? I don't. My husband doesn't. When my mother in law and father in law come to town, they do projects for us and we acquire stuff and they re buy stuff and it's a lot. I need any words of wisdom when tackling these tubs. What kind of storage do you use for tools and nails, etc. Okay, great question, fantastic question. First of all, what a wonderful problem to have, right? Is that mother in law and father in law come to town and do projects for you. Like let's all be excited about that, right? Like so it's one of those sometimes I have to take things and go, wait, this is a really good problem to have. But how do I actually make it function for my everyday life? How do I live with this? Well, so you said this is not really something that you use in your everyday life, but it is something of value for your mother in law and father in law because that is part of life, right? They come to your house, they do these projects. So what I would say is what space do you have? Instead of thinking what do I do with all these different tubs, think what space do I actually have in my home to devote to this stuff that we don't use all the time, but it does get used when they come to town, okay? And maybe that is a certain place in a storage closet. Maybe it is in the laundry room, what, whatever, wherever it is. If you have a garage, maybe it's that corner of the garage and this tub. That's the stuff for these types of projects that we don't use. But yes, they get used because the mother in law and father in law come and come to deal. So once you establish this is the space that we can devote to this that doesn't take up the space that we need for our actual everyday lives the rest of the year, then what can that space hold? Can it hold one tub, maybe two tubs? Okay, now that space, that container, that limit is my guide. And so as I have. Okay, I'm gonna, I have space for one tub. All right, well then I am going to put in that one tube the most commonly used, deserving of space, container worthy things from all of these tabs. Okay, so this one tab, I am going to say this is the one. And maybe I look in there first. Well, I do look in there first. I say what in this tub? I go through the process. What in this tub is actually trash. Oh, those things are trash. Right? Here's the packaging from the paint supplies, whatever that. I don't know why that's in there. I'm gonna get that out of there. Is there anything in this that actually does have a home in my regular everyday world? Oh, yeah, that's easy. Okay, I get those things out of there. Is there anything in here that just obviously needs to be donated? Oh, well, it is the unopened paint bottles from a color that we ended up not using or whatever. Okay, get those things out of there. All right, now I'm going to go through this tab over here and say what in this tab deserves space? And I'm gonna put it straight in this tab and I'm gonna face the reality of it. There's not enough room for it anymore. Okay, what deserves space less? And I'm just making all these decisions according to this is the only space that I have. So what deserves space here most? I mean, you said that they already rebuy, which is probably because there are random tubs where different things were. And so it kind of ends up being a situation where, oh, pretty sure we had that. But I don't want to go through all those tubs. So I'm just going to go and rebuy it anyway. Well, it's being rebought anyway, but then it's just adding two. Right? So if it's in one tab and we know that I've gotten rid of everything else, this is the tub of stuff that I kept that I was pretty sure was the stuff that you might want for the next time. Sorry if it's not, but they were probably going to rebuy anyway, if it was all in random tubs. So. But this is the tab that I kept. And then it will probably make everybody happier, right? To be like, yeah, I've actually consolidated everything that I was pretty sure you would still want for future projects into this one tab. Okay. They can look in one tab. It's not overwhelming. They actually see what's there. And then as they bring more things in, just say, yeah, I'm keeping it down to that one tab. That's really the only space that I have for these types of items. And so as it's in this one tub, when they get something new for a new project, that easily helps you go, oh, okay, well, there's no space. Oh, that stuff over there. Yeah, we're totally done with that project. And then involve them in that. Keeping it with one tub. That's my advice.
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Dani K. White
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- [22:07]
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Listener
I've made huge progress thanks to your method. My house feels wonderful. Thank you. Tips for Getting my husband on board he cannot handle the amount of stuff he has and all his containers are full. He gets free stuff a lot and has lots of memorabilia that people send him that he stores in tubs or crams in closets. How do I get through to him since I'm the one affected by the mess? His office is a dumping ground for overflow of clothes, packages, paperwork. I ask him why he's keeping all this. See, we don't ask. That was the why question that I was talking about. We don't ask why. Asked him why he's keeping all this memorabilia he doesn't look through ever. And he said I'm not old enough to look through it yet. Okay, so first of all, we don't ask why. Right? Like we just take that out of the equation. So a couple things to think about. I'm the one affected by the mess. Are you functionally affected by the mess or does it just drive you bananas? You know, it's one of those pick your battles kind of things. Okay, so if his office is his space, there are times where you have to decide, I'm going to shut that door. Okay. I'm just going to ignore that. Whatever. But let's say his office has become so crammed full of things that he can't actually work in there anymore. Focus on the function. Say, you know, would you like to be able to work in there? Let me help you with that. Don't explain the container concept. Don't explain clutter threshold, all that kind of stuff. Just, you know, did you want to be able to work in there? I'll help you with that. Okay. And go through the process like we were talking about in the last question of, you know, going through anything that's in here that's trash, according to him. No. Are you kidding me? That right there, you don't think this is trash? We don't have those conversations. We take that out of the equation and we just say anything that's trash. And then you bite your tongue. When they don't see things as trash that you know are trash, and you move to the next step. Because it all gets eventually dealt with by the end of the process, right? So if there is a broken hammer, I don't know. And they never see it as trash, and they don't see it as a donation, that's not easy. Blah, blah, blah. Well, then at some point, it becomes an issue of does what deserves space on this shelf? The broken hammer or the hammer that works. Okay, all right. Because there's only room for one. So we get to it eventually, right? But we go through this process with him and give him. And I know this is frustrating, right? Like, I'm in no way saying, what. What's the big deal? Just, I know this is frustrating, and there are layers and there are levels and all that kind of stuff. But giving him some space of being like, hey, you know, I cleaned out this closet of stuff from, you know, a different phase of our life that was kind of neutral, stuff that you felt like you could do. I cleaned out this closet so that you can put your memorabilia in there and put it in there, you know, help him put it in there, and just that process will often help us. He may feel like, I can't go through that stuff yet. But if we're going to put it into a designated space where it's like, hey, this is. You love this stuff. Here's a special space for that. Here's a closet that's been cleared out for that stuff. Okay, well, just touching stuff to put it in there very well may reveal some dad donations or some trash, Right? Because Instead of it just being I'm not old enough to deal with that stuff yet, it is okay. I'm actually touching it and, and acknowledging what it is, which helps me. Then look, look, always look, which always reveals trash. Right. But as you're doing that, encourage, say, let's pick your favorite things, like what are your most favorite things first, you know, so that we can put those things in there first and then we can know that there's going to be space for your very favorite things. Just that exercise reveals things that are not as important to us. Right. Which if people are sending him things, there is a really, really high chance that he's got some stuff that actually doesn't mean that much to him. And a lot of times this process will help reveal that. Okay, the full question as it was written is, I'm overwhelmed by my clutter and cannot manage my home. I attribute one to the other. Absolutely, you're correct in that I listen to the podcast and watch videos and have your ideas swirling around in my brain all the time. But I would like to turn to one of your books. Which book should I start with? Manage home or Decluttering? Thanks for all you do. Good idea to go with the books because they lay it out right? This is me talking and talking really fast and answering all these different questions. The books lay it all out. These are the mindset shifts you need to make. This is the process, why it works, how it works. I answer pretty much every question you could ever have in the books and lays it out anyway. So the books, that's a great idea. If you are completely overwhelmed because you, yes, you have clutter, but you also just feel like I can't manage my home. There are people who are like, okay, I have things under control, but the clutter is driving me crazy. But you specifically said and cannot manage my home. I would go with how to manage your home without losing your mind because that takes you from this complete state of overwhelm into okay, this is what I have to do. This is why I resist it and how to get over that. And yes, it talks about clutter and gives you the basics of decluttering that then we go into really deep into cluttering at the speed of life. But that's what I would start with, is how to manage your home without losing your mind. Hello, I have a few questions. How do you get the motivation? And two, what do you do with a very over cluttered space? The answer is follow the process. Follow the decluttering process. The five step process. It's a no mess decluttering method. It's in videos. I actually did a series of videos starting, I think it was in December, maybe the month of December where I talked through each of the five steps and all the things around that and all that. So how do you get the motivation? You start with trash. Trash is non emotional. It is decision free and it gets you started and it makes immediate progress, makes an immediate impact on that space. Progress is the best motivator. Feeling successful is the best motivator. Understanding that just doing this non emotional decision free thing actually makes my space better, that's the best motivator. Focus on better. Make better your goal. You cannot fail at better. If you do even one single thing and feeling that success like oh this, this is better. It's not done but it's better and it was worth my time. Great. Incredible. You know, help in motivating. What do you do with a very over cluttered space? Say okay, and this is not necessarily what you're saying, I'm not saying this at all. But let's say that you are starting at the entry to your living area and it is shoulder high, shoulder high with piles. What would you do in that situation? Well, you would stand at that doorway and you would have a trash bag in your hand and a donatable donate box in your hand and you would look for trash and you would say okay, clearly stuff has to leave my house and so I need to really be pretty ruthless on the trash and the dead donations because there's just simply not enough space. So start throwing away trash that you can reach and access without tearing everything apart. So maybe it's. I can reach that over here and I can reach that over here and I can reach three things here and, and you throw away trash and okay, I've got my donatable donate box. What in here could be donate. Okay, and I'm going to put stuff in there and then I keep, I've made it, you know, this far into the room. I'm going to do a little bit more trash, a little bit more donate, a little bit more trash, a little bit more donate. Really focusing on these things because if we're in that situation, things are going to have to leave the house. There is no reorganizing here. There is no putting things away. It is literally has to leave. So, so standing at the space and doing that, if you are, you know, if this is a room then, you know, is there anything easy here that I can take to the actual place where it's already established? And then I take it there now so that I'm facing the reality of that space. Is there room for it or not? Because I don't want to just be like, okay, I'm gonna go stick it over here for now and stick it over here for now. That's stuff shifting. That's not decluttering. And that doesn't actually move us forward. Overwhelmed. What ideas do you have for discouraging husband from filling spaces? As I clear them, Someone suggested a bin and empty spaces. I think that's what dawn from Minimal mom did. Yeah. I honestly. One thing that I would consider is getting rid of furniture that is being piled upon. Okay. So like, if there are. And that's one thing I've had to do is like, if. If something is a surface that just continually gets stuff on it, removing that surface is highly helpful. Okay. But yeah, if you wanted to do the bin and the empty spaces, you could do that. I don't do that. But yeah, that'd be an option. If something doesn't have a home, should I throw it out? I don't start there because that is the kind of mindset that I used to be like, I guess if it doesn't have a home, I should throw it out. But then I would. My reaction to that would be, but I can't. I can't just throw it out because what, you know, so that was a self defeating thing for me. So instead I go through my process. Is it trash? Yeah. Okay. Is it easy? Like, does it have an established home? Okay, I'm gonna, you know, which obviously this doesn't. That's what you just said. Okay. So instead of this, I asked myself, if I needed this item, where would I look for it first? And I'm only asking that of things that don't have a home. Right? Like, because if they had a home, they were easy and they've already left the space in step two of the no mess decluttering process. But I asked myself, if I needed this item, where would I look for it first? The first place that comes in my mind not as a place where I know it would be, but as a place. That's the first place I would look in what I assumed was going to be this big tear the house apart drama, you know, that is what I used to. Basically every time I need to look for something, I was like, oh my God, it's gonna be a three hour search. Right? Where's the first place where I would look? And that is what I identify as the home that it should Have. That's how I establish the home. Not by deciding and coming up with a big logical reason why it should be there, but saying this is where I would look for it first. That's its home. And then I take it there now. And that makes me face the reality of that space. Is there anything, is there room for it here? If there's not, what am I willing to get rid of? Oh, I'm not willing to get rid of anything. To make the room for it, then yes, it needs to go. Right. Okay. So following the process is, you know, it works much, much, much, much better for me than these arbitrary things of, well, there's no room, there's not a place for it, so I'm going to throw it out. Well, I'm going to resist that real hard because in the beginning I didn't have places for anything. Do your audiobooks come with printable charts? No, I'm not a real chart person. I do know that how to manage your home without losing your mind. The audible version, it didn't used to. Now it does. Finally, it does have a. I don't know if it's printable or not, but it does have the PDF of the 28 days to hope for your home. So that is available within Audible. Let's see. I love your five steps. I'm getting stuck on the one in, one out. I usually just move stuff, my stuff to the right place, but have trouble figuring what can be donated instead. What can I do to help? I think it's really focusing on the progress and only progress and that it is more valuable to act on a final decision and give something a real place in my home, which may mean get. Getting rid of something else, that there's more value in that than there is in this space. I was originally decluttering looking amazing, right? Because that, that was me. I would like. It looks so good. And then I would turn around and I'm like, ah, oh my goodness. Like the rest of my house is worse off because of the work I did here. So it might be like a shelf that looks great, but if that means the rest of my house is worse, then, you know, what's the point? Right? Which would be the thing that would discourage me from decluttering again in the future. So really focusing in on the value of real, actual, unbacktrackable progress, even if it means that that space can't be done. It's not really done if I've made all this other mess right, but can't be done as quickly. There's so much valuable in step by step making real unbuttrackable progress. Question. How do I find homes for things with no home? Yep. I make a huge mess. I'm trying to organize. Welcome. I'm glad you're here. I assume you might be new. This is actually my whole entire shtick, right? Like, this is every. This is exactly what I teach, which is the no mess decluttering process. We do not make a bigger mess when we try to do that. The main thing here, I would say right here, make sure that you separate decluttering from organizing and realize that there is value in decluttering. Anybody who teaches organizing, which I generally do not, anybody who teaches organizing will tell you, oh, you got to declutter first. Right? So take organizing off the table and say, for now it might be forever, but for now, I'm going to focus on decluttering and the way that we find homes. Instead of, like, thinking through and coming up with the best home, instead we go on instinct and we say, if I needed this item or would I look for it first? That is its home. I've identified the home. I haven't figured out the home. I've identified the home. Okay? And then we take it to that place and we face the reality of that space. Okay. Something else has to go. So this is how we do it. This is the no mess method is one item at a time. Final decision by final decision and acting on that final decision, the final decision is, is this trash? Okay. Goes in the trash bag. That's me acting on it. I'm done. Because it's in the trash bag, I don't ever have to think about it again. One item at a time. Is this easy? Does it have a home somewhere? Okay, I'm going to take it there now. I'm acting on that decision. I'm acting on that. Identifying. Oh, yeah, this is easy. I know where it goes. I take it there. Okay. As long as I'm doing that, I never end up with a huge mess. Okay? My container house is love that you understand. Your house is. A container is way too big. Do I struggle with my habit of thinking I need abundance, but I'm still over my clutter threshold, so this is next level for me. Can you talk a little bit about that next layer? Since my home is not overwhelming anymore, but the amount of stuff is still overwhelming? Yeah. Anything that continually gets out of control is clutter according to my definition. I get to write. I get to make up definitions because I write books. Right? But yeah, anything that can tune like is out of control is clutter. So go with the five minute pickup. Use that as your guide. Is a five minute pickup enough for my house to be back under control in whatever my life situation, however many people happen to be living here, Whatever, whatever your situation, is five minutes enough for me to get it back under control consistently? Okay, if it's not, then you have a concrete reason to say I have more stuff than I can handle, I need to get rid of more. Okay, so use that. I always say declutter to the container first because that's completely outside of you and no, no analysis needed. Right. But if you have decluttered to where technically, yeah, everything has a place to be, but it's still overwhelming to you. Go with the clutter threshold. Use the 5 minute pickup as your way to know if you're under your clutter threshold or not. Is the flow chart that was a book pre order bonus from way back when still available? Absolutely. Email us. Yeah, email a slob comes clean gmail.com and send your like proof of purchase, you know, just like a screenshot or whatever of you know, when you got it or a picture of the actual book in your hands. I don't know. And my assistant will get you that flowchart. That flowchart's awesome.
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Listener
Regarding coaching, I want to know if the coaching certification includes business practices such as pricing and pro practices, etc. That's what hangs me up with the thought of becoming a coach. So coaches are individual business owners. They are responsible for the. You know what that means for their Area what they have to set up legally and all that kind of stuff. But yes, we talk about pricing. So here's how it works. There's the training course. You can take the training course and not ever become certified. If you don't want to, that's fine, right? Like, use it however you want to. Can't call yourself certified, obviously, and you won't be listed on the site if you only do that. But then if you decide to become certified, I do a monthly training with our coaches. So we have different coaches who, you know, I teach things like how to build an email list and what to send out to it, all that kind of stuff that goes along with that. You know, how to have some sort of a presence online where people can go and kind of check you out so that they can figure out, are you somebody that I want to work with, whatever. So we talk about those kinds of things. Talk about how to build your business, different coaches. I'll do a session with them, an interview with them on what they're doing that's really working well. And then, you know, that all is one of those monthly trainings that the coaches, the certified coaches get. And that's part of their certification is access to that. But like, for example, the classes, these workshops that they're teaching, it is a curriculum that they get access to as a certified coach. The goal there is for them to have that to help build their business. They also have a one hour, like one hour, hour and a half curriculum to do a teaching session where they can do a session at their local library or a session at their church or whatever. That's something where they can, you know, get people in, give them something to advertise, let people know that they're a coach, get people in, get introduced to them to help build their business. So, yeah, so as far as, like all of the legal business setup, we are not able to teach that because we have literally coaches all over the world. Right. And so it's different, different places, but as far as best practices and what are other people doing that's working and blah, blah, blah, we do a lot of that kind of coaching. I am trying to take it there now, but I get sidetracked when I take it there with what needs to be done there. Then run out of time to. To finish the original space. Recommendations for dealing with this derailment. Yes. Remind yourself that if this space is a mess, I'm not going to leave it any worse. Okay. And. And when I say remind yourself, like for me, I literally talk out Loud to myself, right? Like, I see your two beautiful daughters in your picture. So just tell them this is how it's going to be. I have to talk out loud to myself. Right. My kids are very used to it, but like, I will be like I am. All I'm gonna do is make space for this item. I'm not going to leave this space any worse. Okay. You know, this is where I would look for it first. I'm taking it there now. This space is a mess. Okay? But I am going to remove something from this space to create the room for this item that I'm taking there now. Okay. Ideally it's going to be trash or a dead donation because my trash bag and my donatable donate box are back at the space I was originally decluttering. So those are the things that I want to look for. But even if I did get distracted on this space because I have taken it there now, and because I am doing things in the no mess process, meaning one item at a time, you know, acting on final decisions as I make them, which I'm helped to make those final decisions through the process. Right. Even if I'm still not any worse off and my house is getting better. But the way that I get back to that original space is by looking for trash or a dead donation, which if the space is messy and out of control, there's going to be trash. There are going to be donations. Right. When starting my dislocification process, I love when people use that word, my word. Should I start with procrastinator laundry and dishes? I know, do the dishes or start with the visibility rule. I would start with the dishes for sure. Okay. And the beauty, just because that is the thing that keeps the house from ever looking. You know, if the dishes are out of control, house will literally never feel under control. Right. So if you can only do one thing, do the dishes, focus on the dishes. As far as laundry goes, the beauty of laundry is that you can go put a load in and then take, you know, do your dishes, put a load of laundry in and take the time that the laundry is going to. To declutter with the visibility rule, you know, and that will keep you going and making real progress. So yes, dishes and laundry are important and are. If. If you can only focus on dishes and laundry, you will be better off for having focused on dishes and laundry. Your house overall will be better. And then as you're able, you're going to free up time if you're doing the dishes every day. Yes, it maybe took you Four hours yesterday to get caught up. But if you do them again today, they're gonna be done in 15 minutes. What? I didn't know that. I always thought, oh, okay, well, if it takes me four hours to do the dishes, because I always wait till I'm out of dishes, then I bet you if I did them every day, it'd be at least an hour. No, it's nowhere near an hour to do a day's worth of dishes. Okay. But I never knew that, right? So you do those 15 minutes worth of dishes, and you're like, oh, oh, I've got some time. Okay. Use the no mess method. Indivisible spaces. And that's how you'll really start to make some. Some real progress. I am done decluttering. We're never done decluttering, so remember that. You're gonna have to keep on getting rid of stuff to maintain this. But anyway, sorry. And my house looks organized and easy to maintain. Thanks. Your ideas. What will you do if you have a big kitchen and it takes your cleaning process hours to finish? I would continue decluttering. If it is taking hours to finish cleaning, I would minimize, minimize, minimize. Until that is not the case anymore. Last live session, I asked a question about a spot. A spouse spice. Same thing, right? A spouse who doesn't want to get rid of clothes that don't fit, aren't worn, etc. I followed your advice and have three bags that we are donating today. I love it. I wish I knew what I said. Y' all go back and watch it. Okay? Because I'm. It must have been amazing. But I guess. But this is so great, though, right? Like, it feels like a hopeless situation, and yet you follow the process and it works. Love it, love it, love it, love it. I live in a small apartment, and I share my bedroom with my yarn, which I read later was a bad idea. How can I reclaim my bedroom without getting rid of my yarn? I have yarn. I have decluttered. Yeah, I think it's. It's the same as kind of like we were talking about with the questions before of like, well, okay, here's how it goes. What space do I have to give to my yarn that doesn't make my bedroom not be able to function as my bedroom. Okay, so is it this cabinet over here? Is it. You know what? I hang up all my clothes, and so this dresser where I, you know, had it for clothes or whatever, I think I can consolidate, you know, the underwear and socks to one drawer, and the other drawers can be free yarn, but what space do I have to devote for yarn? That doesn't make it impossible to function in my bedroom the way I need to function in my bedroom, right? Like, meaning the bed can't be piled in yarn because that keeps you from sleeping in the bed, which, you know, causes me to not be able to function as, you know, the bedroom. Focus on that and say, you know, what space do I have to devote to this? And then let that space make the decisions for you. So I put my. If. Let's say it's that dresser for, you know, for yarn. Okay. I'm gonna put my favorite skins. Is that right? Skeins in first, and once it's full, that helps me determine how much yarn I can actually have in my room. I can keep anything. I just can't keep everything. And the reality of the space is the reality of the space, you know, but you're asking the question, which means you're like, oh, yeah, I can't function in my bedroom. I can't relax in my bedroom the way that I need to because it's overrun with. With yarn. Okay, but if yarn is really important to you, then, you know, it deserves space in there. But maybe there's something else that you can get rid of. And you're like, you know what? I actually. I have a ton of blankets in this blanket tub thing. And actually, in reality, I don't live somewhere that's that cold, and I pretty much can deal with a summer blanket and a winter comforter, and I'll be fine. Right. And so you say I can get rid of those things so that I can keep the yarn, which is more important to me. But it's that giving the function of the space first priority and then, you know, acknowledging that with what you're going to keep. Please explain question two of step four. I'm confused by how and why that works. Okay, I only have a couple minutes, so I'm going to give you a real brief version, but I do want you to go back to my regular videos, which are not the Q and A's with this behind me. Right. And there is one that probably came out in December called that specifically goes into the two decluttering questions and explains everything about the two decluttering questions. So go and watch that video for that question two of my two decluttering questions, which is step four in the no mess process. Question two is, if I needed this item, would it ever occur to me that already had one? Okay, I have already asked myself that. I am not saying did I know I Had it, right? Because the cluttering is like Christmas. Like, I find stuff. I'm like, oh, yay, What? I still have that. Or whatever. Anyway. But I asked myself the first decluttering question first. If I needed this item, where would I look for it first? If I have an answer to that question, I take it there. Now, if I can't answer, where would I look for this first? If my answer is, oh, okay, then I ask, if I needed this item, would it occur to me that I already had one? Because I didn't have a place where I would look for it first? And remember, the looking for it first doesn't mean that I know it's going to be there. It means where would I look first when I'm tearing apart my house looking for it? I had to admit that there were things in my home that I would either do without or automatically go out and buy another one, because it would never cross my mind to even look for it. And if that was the case, then doing without, great. I never needed it anyway because I was able to do without or going out and buying another one. Now I'm doubling up the stuff in my house, and my goal was to get stuff out of my house because my house was completely out of control. Okay? So I asked myself that the. That question as a reality check. The truth is, if I wasn't working in this space, I would have no idea this thing was here. And because I would have no idea this thing was here in anywhere in my house, never crossed my mind that I already had one. I would not have even looked anywhere for this item. That's why I didn't have an answer to the first question. Where would I look for this first? Therefore, it needs to go. Because my goal is to get this space decluttered. Okay? That is the key. I am working on this space being decluttered so that I can function in my home. Which means stuff needs to leave. And this is a reason that this thing needs to leave, because I would never have gone looking for it. Okay, If I. If you. And I wouldn't say I because I'm past this. Right? But if you insist. Oh, no, no. I would know I had it. If, you know, if you would know that you have it, then you have to have a place where you would look first. So go back to that first decluttering question. If I needed this item, where would I look for it first? Well, I don't have. No, you're probably asking if you didn't think. If you're like, I know I have it but I don't have a place where I would look for it first. You're probably thinking of the first question wrong and you're thinking of it as where would I know that it is. No, that's not the question. It's where would I look for it first even if I had no confidence that it was going to be there? All right, so that's how you do that. But go back and watch that video from December about the two decluttering questions and that'll really help. Okay, I have to stop. But don't forget declutteringcoaches.com okay? Remember, I have coaches all over the US and I also have some in who are worldwide as well. We have a cute little graphic now because we didn't have that before and it was harder to find them. But anyway, other coaches in other places, so. All right, it's been fun. I will talk to you all next week.